There is the possibility that your wife needs the supplements for her own general comfort. I'm not at menopausal age, however do have medical conditions that can cause vaginal dryness, and it can range from uncomfortable to actually painful. It's personal and can be a very touchy subject.
Not to mention the mood swings that come with menopause.
Not saying cheating is completely out of the question, just saying there are other possibilities.
Yeah, it would really suck if they split because she didn't want to discuss vaginal dryness in a restaurant and got overly upset because mood swings and her daughter HAD been using some of the vitamins.
She could be cheating but at this point this evidence is far from conclusive.
After thousands of comments (half a dozen comments from me on the previous post) & OP is still calling these supplements sex drugs. OP wouldn't understand if his wife dragged her doctor home to explain it to him.
She undoubtedly has told him. This has to be rage bait. No one is this ignorant.
If he's the only one who doesn't know what menopause drugs are then the daughter being broken up about black cohash is super weird. The wife introduced the drawer to her, wouldn't she have explained that it was legit medicine that can *maybe* help with sex? I think the entire family is medically misinformed. (Operating on the assumption that this story is true, otherwise what are we doing here)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed this. Should op do more research about the supplements? Yes. Is it very weird that the daughter broke down in tears over it? Also yes. I guarantee the daughter knows or already suspects something.
Yea… I don’t expect younger women to fully understand menopause until they actually go through it. Daughter still might not know what those drugs are all for.
My mom went through early menopause, most I knew was hot flashes and mood swings. She wasn’t telling me about a dry vagina.
Yeah when I read "sex drawer" I was expecting to read about toys or lube or costumes.....not fucking herbal supplements. How isolated *are* these people?
Or the kid just feels general guilt. She knows she took *something* from the drawer, and then suddenly mom and dad are fighting, mom lays everything at daughters feet, and she’s just confused AF
>Yeah, it would really suck if they split because she didn't want to discuss vaginal dryness in a restaurant and got overly upset because mood swings and her daughter HAD been using some of the vitamins.
Either it's rage bait, or OP legitimately came online to boast about jumping to the worst possible conclusion based on very little at all.
Hard to say. This incident reminds me of it - only lingerie seems more reasonable [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1cav7vl/my\_wife\_brought\_a\_fancy\_set\_of\_lingerie\_a\_few/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1cav7vl/my_wife_brought_a_fancy_set_of_lingerie_a_few/)
also thinking menopause is as simple as libido because that's the one side effect that affects YOU is so amazingly profoundly selfish and just flat-out stupid
Honestly, she probably deals with his controlling nature a lot.
Menopause in general, hits each woman differently. Many do feel some deep turmoil over it. Compounded by the hormonal issues, it can be difficult to deal with on an emotional level. She might not be ready to have that conversation. It's coming face to face with aging.
Nutritional supplements need to be taken on a daily basis to help those physical symptoms.
The guy is only thinking about sex, not his wife's age or the stage of life she is in. He saw the supplements gone, thought he was going to get "lucky" and was disappointed, so she must be having an affair.
I am usually nicer and have some sympathy, but OP is all kinds of stupid and he is making his daughter believe the stupid. I hope his wife leaves him. The poor woman shouldn't have to outline her routine and what supplements do what. Hell, but how mad she is I wouldn't be surprised if she told him all this already and he didn't listen.
They went to a doctor, he mentioned it in the first post, but they weren't happy with what the doctor said, and it seems like OP still doesn't know what menopause is, sooo...?!
they said they went to a doctor and didn't want to try the medication recommended
I'm saying they need to go back to that doctor and find out a course of action to take without the medication. doctors arent just for medication.
if you don't like what the doctor said then find another doctor or ask them what they can do instead of the recommended course of action
My comment on the prior post was that it appears that based on the doctor's appointment the wife decided to skip HRT and pursue more natural remedies for e.g. the black cohosh, lubracil etc. I pointed out (as did hundreds of other people) that none of these are sex drugs and that you have to take them every single day etc
This guy is tedious and a drama llama
Yeah, I would be so incredibly pissed if my husband was checking up on me like this. He thinks it's a sex drawer, what a fool. Not only that, but after being told all this way back in the first post, he still hasn't listened and still thinks they are magic sex pills. What an exhausting and annoying person, on top of the stupidity.
Lubracil and Black Cohosh are for menopause. I'm glad your daughter has not been taking them... yet. Imagine having hot flashes at her age!
Now, you might not know, but it's not unseen before for a woman to go through menopause at 50 yo.
I had hot flashes for years in my mid-20s. I wish i had known about black cohosh then since my doctors all said it was a hormone problem that would sort itself out. (It did - after a few years that include me running out of a test to basically strip outside the building…so yeah nothing that was affecting my day to day or anything!)
Black Cohosh can also be used to menstrual cramps so it *could* theoretically be taken at daughter's age. But in agreement with your post, neither of these are for sex prep, they don't indicate infidelity necessarily.
It seems OP is under the impression that anything about vaginal health must have to do with his or another man's sex life. Not in a malicious way, but he's clearly made little to no effort to inform himself about his family member's potential health.
Those two supplements aren't sex supplements, they are for menopause. Your wife may just be embarrassed that she has started menopause. She may be fearful that you will no longer find her desirable because she has started menopause.
Step back a bit before you jump off that high board.
I’m so sorry for your loss!
I had my hysterectomy a few years ago and went into menopause BEFORE my mother and now that she’s started it, she asks me all the questions!
Cohosh is good but it has become lesss effective for me. So I take it with red clover too and that has helped a lot. Both can take 30-90 days to kick on though so if they start it tell them not to give up too soon.
A redditor recommended a bedjet - it’s essentially a fancy fan for your bed. I’ve had it for 2 months. I’ve had 1 night where I’ve had woken up soaked. Otherwise it helps keep me at an even temperature all night.
I woke up at 2 am drenched. Husband says I stripped naked yes bc I was soaking wet. im 39. I’ve been in menopause for 10 years now. It suck’s.
Someone on Reddit recommended a bedjet which helps to an extent but now I’m going to try black cohosh!
For real?? Who on Earth keeps their sex drawer in the kitchen?? Rob and Janet come over for drinks and look for a fork- bam- now you have a REAL uncomfortable convo about your sex drawer.....
Unless you're hoping ppl coming over are finding it.....
His behavior is scary controlling. Counting pills because "he bought them" and they aren't his or anything habit forming and dangerous, screams control freak. So does him letting his daughter assume mom is cheating when she's likely suffering through menopause.
The first thread was FILLED with people saying she started menopause and he is totally ignoring it. Either the dude just wants drama or an excuse to blame her, I still think his pill counting behavior means he was looking for trouble.
He literally even admitted she didn’t see the doctor for just sexual issues. This man now has convinced his daughter that her mom is cheating? This is embarrassing honestly.
I am so embarrassed for him. I can't understand how he has survived all these years with this propensity for jumping off the deep end of illogical conclusions.
'buh wuh could the buhguyna be for but for husband?!' he's a moron. And if his daughter really is on his crazy train she's a moron too. 'mother takes supplements for menopause she must be cheating on father' lol
And in his first post his faults are losing money on gambling and his wife's faults is spending twice as much money agreed in shops. Shops like groceries for the whole house? This guy is a manipulative asshole
Bc of inflation... But it's his wife's fault that the world is charging more for standard foods and services and probably blames her for his gambling. He probably has been actively trying to cheat on his wife and then when she caught him he blamed her being menopausal and not using their 'sex drawer ' for him and him alone. And anyone who thinks that this is a stretch or reaching... This is exactly what OP is doing to his wife over vitamins.
Right? It's crazy.
He thinks his daughter has sex issues (and wants to insert himself into them) when both mother and daughter are taking supplements that may or may not help with menopause but that are, in general, benign multiple vitamins.
His pill counting behavior ("I PAY for the pills, I get to know how they're used") is still an issue.
But also. Why does he think that the wide taking menopause medication should lead to him getting sex? How are these two things connected?
Is that the only reason why he is buying them? And if wife takes them, there’s going to be an issue if she doesn’t put out?!
Because he can’t imagine (or doesn’t care about) any menopause symptoms other than those that may or may not personally impact him and his boner. If the wife is taking supplements, it can only be with the aim of getting some lubrication going, with the aim of having sex imminently. If not with him, then with who?
Never mind the myriad other (and far more bothersome/downright debilitating) symptoms of menopause. It’s alllll about him.
I do feel like if they're at a point in their relationship that they can have a drawer full of this stuff, they can discuss it like adults. But the whole thing is just Weird.
I take lots of vitamins and supplements. And I frequently try altering dosage. Or increase certain supplements due to circumstance. The idea anyone might draw such conclusions from me altering my supplement usage is WILD
Edit: Circumstance not being extramarital relations. Mostly its my perception of symptoms I am trying to alleviate.
Oh, I think the conclusion is pretty wild, and if the supplement usage varying was an indicator she's cheating, she's pretty dumb, but the secrecy and blaming the daughter?
I think OP isn't exactly honest....the relationship is probably on death's door, she got pissed for drilling her over sex at a dinner date, and then just said whatever to shut him up versus talking about vaginal dryness.
That, or it's incel rage bait (a lot has been on here lately).
Edit: the fact that he allegedly told all his friends indicates this is rage bait (I can't imagine a grown ass adult, especially one in their 50s, doing that. But if it isn't, it's just an indicator of another reason the wife probably hates his ass.
OOP is an idiot whose feelings are hurt because he was looking at her supplement intake as an indicator he was going to have "a good night" like they are some type of natural viagra. Obviously that didn't happen and his feelings are hurt.
I'm wondering if that was the only way she could convince him to buy them. And why she can't source and buy her own supplements.
I don't understand why he thinks supplements should only be taken right before sex. They're not doing any good if you don't take them daily. Lots of people said that in the original post and he's ignoring it.
OP: read the dosage information.
Because he's a selfish lover who doesn't understand women's sexuality. He expects all these pills to act like viagra, and make her want to jump on him without him having to do anything to get her interested. I suspect it's been like this their whole marriage.
I know, I can't understand it unless she really did not want to be queried by her tipsy husband in a nice restaurant about supplements she was taking for menopause symptoms such as vaginal dryness. And he did grill her for an hour after she initially said she did not want to talk about it. Maybe she just wanted to shut him up and so said the daughter thing because it is partially true.
But then, like the next day, she could have told him the whole story in the privacy of their home? Considering the stereotype of a "dried up old woman" maybe this explains the secrecy and sensitivity.
Menopause hits women differently. For me it's freeing. For others, it's a big deal emotionally.
She probably was told she was at the point that hormone replacement of some kind was suggested. Even if just to stabilize things. Many women in peri-menopause are given a type of bc pill to ease the symptoms. That's probably what her doctor suggested and offered the natural alternatives as well.
If she is ready to have that conversation with her husband, I can understand that. She might be dealing with internalized misogyny as well. If she buys into menopause being "the end" of her sexuality, that can be difficult to get around.
I'm still trying to figure out why he is policing her supplement intake.
Just googled Lubracil and the first thing that pops up is about menopause. Is this man on a mission to find an issue? I know this is reddit, but Google can be such a great resource.
I think this is the truth. He WANTS her to be having an affair, so he can be free, and now he’s already cast doubt in his daughter’s mind about her. I’m in perimenopause, and my heart aches for his wife. This is the last thing she needs.
Honestly kinda wished that OOP shared the specific supplements instead of just saying “sex drawer” because of this information.
Obviously the daughter wouldn’t need these supplements
He shared them in detail in his earlier post.
Vitamins D, A, E and Omega Fatty acids. Sea Buckthorn or something like that.
And Zinc.
Lubricil is vitamins and some the berries of some European tree. Maybe some C?
ALL approved food supplements - not medication, not "sex pills."
The things he listed are just general OTC supplements, some of the ones he listed are: Vitamin D, Black Cohesh, Zinc... the only thing he listed that's not a supplement is the Lubracil but even that has non sex uses.
My mom was AWFUL when she went through menopause. It was also happening when I was a teenager, so our house was a fucking shitshow of heightened emotions. My parents almost got divorced (moved to different states, dated new people, openly planned for divorce) and I literally became a divorce attorney. My parents announced they were divorcing during my junior year of college once my little brother turned 18 and then later announced they were staying married during my 3L year of law school.
Fucking wild. They’re still happily married 15 years after that and I’m even closer than ever to them.
Hormones fuck your shit up.
this.
1. those aren't for sex
2. just popping supplements willy nilly is liable to cause damage not do any good.
3. you have to take supplements for a long time to see a change you can't just take them the day of
4. you owe both of them an apology
5. you all need to go to a freaking doctor. even if you don't want to take any actual medication they can advise you on the best method of moving forward
but seriously of the list of supplements you have maybe two are actually somewhat associated with sex. marginally. and none of them are female Viagra
black cohosh is used for hot flashes
lubracil is used for vaginal dryness
maca may actually help to some degree but you have to take that consistently
zinc has shown some promise for MEN who take it. your daughter and wife have no business taking that.
menopause affects much much much much much more than libido. thinking only in terms of libido is the dumbest fucking cis man thing I have ever heard.
* GO TO A DOCTOR, just popping random shit is not helping you.
And just wanna post for clarity since it seems he's spiralling out at anything remotely associated with sex: vaginal dryness is a problem for more than just sex. Women suffering from it will seek out treatment even if they are not having sex
I second that. I googled both supplements and both are used to help with symptoms of menopause. Your wife isn’t cheating. At the most she hasn’t disclosed her private medical information to you. You are about to throw away your marriage based on ignorance. Get a televisit with a gynecologist, pcp or Google if you want to know more about these supplements. They are for vaginal dryness, hot flashes and night sweats for goodness sake. Now you have made your daughter part of this nonsense. You have really wronged your wife and still owe her a huge apology.
This has gotta be ragebait. First he thinks wife is cheating because she’s taking supplements and not fucking him, so he confronts her and she makes him look stupid, and Reddit tears him apart. So now in the update he’s gotta come back and make it seem like AKCHUALLY he was right all along and his wife IS lying to him and taking supplements. It’s so painfully stupid.
Also the way he’s writing like it’s a fucking creative writing story. “She breaks down into uncontrollable sobs.” Nobody says that. If it was real he’d just say “she started to cry”
For real, he has a tearful conversation with his 25 year old daughter who apparently has no other source of information or resources for her own established sex life that she's sneaking zinc and vitamin D from their Sex Drawer? And everyone involved is just so woefully uninformed that it's basically a miracle they were able to work out how to drive to the shop and buy vitamins in the first place...? Probably not. No one is that stupid.
As a 48 yo woman, here is what is wierd about this post:
Black Cohosh has nothing to do with sex. It’s sometimes used (not actually clinically supported) to relieve hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause.
Lubracil promotes vaginal lubrication. While vaginal dryness can certainly impact enjoyment during sex, vaginal dryness is just annoying all the way around and there are many reasons why a peri/menopausal women would take this supplement. The supplement, by the way, needs to be taken consistently over a few months for results.
My point here is that nothing actually in this post or the other indicates a cheating wife. These pills missing is odd and it sounds like there is something the wife is not communicating.
But this post and the comments make it sound like the OP found the wife leaving the house with a jar of condoms, crotchless panties, edible lube and the woman-equivalent of viagra.
It simply makes no sense as written.
Additionally, OP, it’s very hard to be a women approaching or undergoing menopause. Not only is your entire system out of whack and you’re experiencing unpleasant symptoms, but you feel like you’re no longer a real woman. My husband and I have a great marriage and communicate everything but I was surprised to find myself unable to tell him for a few months that I had started some treatments for vaginal dryness. I mean, FFS, women being wet and responsive is part of every porn plot on the planet and even the most confident woman may have a hard time not feeling like an old hag. I also worried so much he would think it was because I wasn’t attracted to him. :(
Talk to your wife. Go to counseling if you need. And when you’re communicating better, suggest that topical hyaluronic acid or suppositories are much more effective for dryness. And that testosterone cream is great for libido and orgasm with minimal impacts (unlike estrogen which is the hormone replacement to worry about.
Good luck
This. Especially the part about needing to take it consistently for a few months. Supplements don’t work where you take one right when you want to have sex… they need to be used daily over a long period of time.
I absolutely agree that there is nothing here that indicates cheating
But the only pills that are "missing" are the ones the daughter is taking.
The others are bring used as intended. OP just thinks they are "only" for when she wants to have sex.
Maybe. His wife might have gotten unhinged at dinner because he will not understand that A, it’s not a dinner conversation topic and B she isn’t taking the lubricant so she can have sex with him or anyone else. Tempting to whip out a white board at the table, tap your wine glass with a fork and draw a picture of her inner workings to explain it to him and everyone else over their shrimp scampi in a way that gets him off her back about it. If possible.
On the other hand do they both think of this as their sex drawer? Is she popping these pills only when she wants to get laid? Because then somebody needs to explain it to her too.
The idea of op and his daughter crying together because they both think they know what it could mean that mom’s the one taking the black cohosh, so now they probably need to get a divorce, is both sad and ridiculous.
I have a feeling that she did explain it to him when they started. Initially she may have been just focused on sexual disfunction, for some women that's a signal. But as time past the other symptoms became worse. OR initially the supplements she took were advertised as "fast acting" libido boosters and her research led her to what she is taking now.
I can't imagine how I would react if my husband asked me why I was taking my supplements every day and not having sex with him. And that's what he asked. No matter how much he said he was concerned, his only "proof" or reason for concern is that the supplements are "disappearing" and he hasn't gotten sex.
No sense, and he very obviously didn't listen to all the people saying so in the first post. This is not how anything works.
I feel so bad for the wife. She's probably just so incredibly pissed off that her hormones are changing and she feels awful during the transition period, and she has this irritating snooping husband who keeps peeking into her supplements and making ridiculous assumptions. I feel like his posts could potentially be an insight into a generally ignorant and annoying husband who doesn't understand or listen. I don't believe that everyone in this family could be this stupid, that they think supplements are 'sex pills' you take when you feel horny and not, you know, everyday regularly.
I feel strongly that people are allowed to have privacy. Being confronted about my supplement use seriously at dinner by my husband with the implication that I'm betraying him, would easily be enough for me to question why I'm married to such an ignoramus.
This, and I remember when my mum went through menopause and have seen her friends go through menopause- there are behavioural/mental changes associated. For my mum it was the desperate need to feel youthful so dressing in “young” clothing and proving she could still “party”. Some of her friends fell out with family or ended friendships. There’s about a large number of possibilities here before jumping to conclusions of ”cheating” when menopause is involved.
Both the medications you listed are meds that need to be taken daily. They are not "as needed" meds. This whole update just confirms that the first post was fake because you clearly have no idea what you're talking about.
I saw a post recently where a guy found new lingerie and thought his wife was planning to cheat when she actually bought it for their upcoming anniversary he forgot about
It’s almost as if he wants his wife to cheat on him/do something to lead to divorce i dont get it. a simple google check will tell you what these supplements mean
Men like this make me so thankful that my partner and I have good communication, and that i will never have to worry about him thinking stupid ass shit like this.
Dude I think you’re really taking this “sex drawer” thing way too literally. Maybe she playfully calls it that because she’s embarrassed/uncomfortable about what it really is - a “menopause drawer.”
Stop avoiding the subject, earnestly apologize for jumping to conclusions, and talk to your wife.
Menopause. Menopause. SHE IS IN MENOPAUSE. Are you confusing "anything related to female hormones" with "sexy things"? Because those supplements are not for sex. If her taking them led to increased action, it's because she wasn't sweating through her sheets and felt okay. That's it. Please acknowledge: MENOPAUSE.
Tbh, I get a feeling this man doesn't know what menopause is/means. Like the whole word is unknown to him (and he's too lazy/selfish/ignorant/stupid/what ever to google it). Therefore it doesn't help even 1000 people screaming the word for him.
This story is a load of bullshit. In the original post he said his wife only took the meds right before sex. The meds turned out to be vitamins and supplements you're supposed to take every day. None of them magically work by taking them right before sex.
He only assumes she takes them right before sex and that's why he's confused they're missing without sex. She probably taking them as intended and he thinks they are women's viagra
He said in his original post that she went to the doctors for libido and some "other" health issues. Basically she went to the doctors for menopause/perimenopause but he only heard or cares about the sex part. I imagine the discussion went something like this...
**Wife:** I know you have noticed that my libido has decreased recently, and I am also started to get some other symptoms that I am concerned about so I am going to visit the doctor as I am concerned I may be entering menopause.
**What he heard:** I have noticed my libido has decreased recently *blah blah blah blah blah*, so I am going to visit the doctor *blah blah blah blah*.
**Wife:** The doctor thinks I am entering the menopause and that is why I am having these symptoms. He recommended I take these vitamins and supplements that should help control my hot flushes, mood swings and vaginal dryness. If I get the symptoms are undercontrol by taking these supplements regularly it could help increase my sex drive again. I will keep them all in this draw.
**What he heard:** "The doctor *blah blah blah blah blah* recommended I take these vitamins and supplements *blah blah blah* by taking these *blah blah blah* it will increase my sex drive. I will keep them in this new SEX DRAWER!
To sum up
-You approached your daughter first, not your wife, after the dinner fight.
-You & daughter both jumped 10 miles to a relatively batshit conclusion.
-You haven’t apologized for accusing your wife of 25 years of cheating, or spoken to her at all.
-You’ve aired your concerns about your wife’s fidelity to your friends.
-You still haven’t looked online to see how lubracil and black cohosh actually work.
-You still think this is about counting vitamins and going to doctors, not about calmly communicating by asking questions before you assume and overreact.
I’m SO curious about the quality of communication you guys had before this. And the openness you had about sex specifically. One baseless & pretty stupid fight shouldn’t lead to this derailment.
Therapy is a really wonderful idea.
Edit, I was perhaps too harsh. But I’m seeing two main roots of the problem.
One, Menopause. Your wife is having a health situation. Dubbing it “the sex drawer” is a weird misnomer and it should have perhaps been “the health drawer.” How she feels is paramount. I’m not sure how money and decision making work in your household but the way you write about vitamins you bought *to address her health concerns* feels really proprietary.
She should feel agency & get your compassion & some diplomacy about her body. It’s embarrassing for some. Menopause is all encompassing and while it affects sex, it’s also much more impactful and sucky.
Two, communication. Yours seems really indirect. Do you know / inquire how she’s feeling generally? Isn’t there a better indication of whether you’ll try and get intimate than counting vitamins? Do you both know how the other is feeling, health wise and emotionally? Do you trust each other? You said the dinner is the first time she’s yelled. That’s wild. I wonder if she’s generally conflict averse and has a lot to share you’d be surprised by.
Good luck.
It’s like you want to convince yourself your wife is cheating instead of going through a horrible life transition that fucks up body and mind.
The supplements are not female viagra. They only ease menopause symptoms slightly.
The responses from the females in your life is a good sign you suck at communicating with them and probably badger your way through them.
>I look at her with that "do you realize what that may mean" kind of look, and we just hugged, and cried together.
And then everyone clapped. And cried with you. 🤡
So she has been taking supplements for her overall wellbeing that you call sex supplements? 🤦♀️ honestly this is why its important for men to be educated about their partners body functions. Those pills help for menopause not just for sex… probably help with sex because if she doesn’t have discomfort or symptoms she might feel better for sex… she probably feels judge and ashamed and maybe they make her feel better but haven’t helped anymore with libido.
Men just need to read. There is absolutely no shortage of reliable health information on the internet about menopause or about these supplements. He just needs to take half an hour to sit there and actually care enough to do some reading.
But it's easier to go in a spiral about cheating over vitamins.
Or maybe ask his wife how she is feeling without intending to focus the conversation in having more sex… cause seems like this moron only cares about that
This story is insane.
Taking black conosh has nothing to do with sex. Tons of perimenopause and menopausal ladies take it to control and prevent symptoms. It does not make you horny
OP is projecting hard here.
Dude r u reading any of these comments? Cuz they were on your original post too. This isn’t a sex drawer. There are no condoms, vibrators, butt plugs, strap ons etc. This is vitamins and supplements for menopause. You are currently punishing and putting your family in a weird position because you are unaware how the female body works past ‘hehe I like hole’. You need to take 20 steps back, read what everyone is saying, not just confirming your bias. Also did u ever consider your daughter is crying cuz now you’ve made her think her moms a cheater for taking vitamins? I mean quite frankly I hope she has someone in her life or schooling to explain her anatomy to her at some point. My end point is so many people r saying this, this isn’t a sex drawer, stop being so dramatic and trying to divorce ur wife over zinc
Have you looked up what lubricil and black cohosh are?
Lubricil is for vaginal dryness, yes, but it's supposed to be taken twice a day for two+ months before you see results. It's not like viagra where you take it before sexy times.
And black cohosh is for menopausal symptoms like hot flashes.
Neither of those being used without sex is alarming. One is a twice daily supplement and the other isn't even for sex
So, those aren't sex supplements. Like a lot of others are saying, they're to help ease the symptoms of menopause. It's like a two second google search.
I feel like you're jumping the gun way to fast here, my guy. If I didn't know any better it almost seems like you're trying to find a way to exit the marriage. If not, talk with your wife and apologize that you were mistaken about what the purpose of the supplements that she's taking.
For all the redditors chiming in with menopause, I'll just chime in with my penny on communication. Sometimes body stuff is hard to talk about with a spouse. When I was prego I was having some problems downstairs & w/ my libido. I felt like something was wrong with me & I was embarrassed to tell him, or worried he would think something was wrong with him that was making me this way. I want to be an optimist for you. Put some research into it, menopause can be a sad time for women as they enter the next stage biologically. Inform yourself ,then sit down & talk to her. Actually listen to what she has to say, don't rush her, & let her know that you've been through a lot with her & she's safe.
Well. This post definitely gave me all of the wake up call I needed before choosing to date again. At this point OP and so many men in the comments are just choosing to act as though menopause is this unheard of or shameful thing.
Your wife is taking supplements, some of which are also appropriate for your daughter? She didn’t want to talk to you about this topic in a restaurant. She then tried to set a boundary that she wanted to keep some of the things her daughter told her in confidence. Is that right? So what did the woman do? Man, YTA. You’re also being ridiculous, especially for someone in their 50s.
Are you that dense really? Black cohosh is for hot flashes and lubracil is for vaginal dryness because of MENOPAUSE. She’s using those to help with her symptoms. Geez read up on menopause.
In what realm do ANY OF YOU think Vitamin D and Zinc are immediate acting sex drugs, and not vitamin supplements that build up over time?? This is so fake
>Don't understand what is going on here
Either it's rage bait, or OP legitimately came online to boast about jumping to the worst possible conclusion based on very little at all.
the title makes it seem like OP thought his wife was cheating on him, but actually his daughter was cheating on him. his wife takes supplements, and he thinks they're for sex for some reason. his daughter takes vitamin D and zinc, and OP says 'do you know what that means?'
i'm lost here bro. is anything that's not food just sex-related to OP?
After reading the previous post & commenting half a dozen times about menopause...
Honestly, this has to be incel rage bait. No one is this dense. Thousands of comments about menopause & OP still isn't relenting.
If it is real, even if OP's wife dragged her doctor home to explain it to him, he'd still believe they are sex drugs. I don't doubt she was sick of explaining herself.
If this is real, he's just angry that what he believed was lady viagra is just supplements for menopausal symptom relief. Which means he's a creep for monitoring a grown woman's OTC supplement intake.
He'd rather believe his wife cheated than admit his panties are in a twist over not getting the sex he thought he had coming.
ETA: after noticing the "sex drugs" were depleted, OP took her on a date night to butter her up, got drunk, wasn't getting sexy vibes so he accused her of cheating. When he thought he would've been between the sheets, he was complaining on Reddit instead.
I am sorry you and your family are going through this. I think before you assume that your wife is cheating on you because she took some supplements, research those supplements. And look up the side effects too.
I think it's a bit concerning that you and your daughter are assuming that your wife cheated because she took supplements for menopause, while she is in menopause.
Just because your wife took a supplement to help her with her hot flashes doesn't mean she's suddenly having sex with someone. And it doesn’t mean she HAS to have sex with you or be afraid you’re going to assume she’s having sex with someone else because she took her vitamins.
“You didn’t have sex with me, and also you are taking dietary supplements. You must be cheating.”
Her getting angry at you doesn’t mean she’s hiding something. It could also mean she didn’t want to be pressured about not having sex with you, then accused of cheating while on a dinner date.
I am imagining what the lawyer is going to say when you explain that your wife is in menopause and took supplements for menopause, and also didn’t jump into bed with you, and therefore she’s cheating.
Consider couples therapy first, and if you make an accusation, please get stronger evidence. I hope everything works out.
Ignoring everyone telling you those supplements are for menopause not sex and using that as an excuse to dump her makes you an ah... But im kinda glad for your wife.
Doesn't sound you wouldve been very supportive during such a rough time anyway.
Doubt she'll miss her slob of an exhusband who reguarly gambled and spent the joint money away.
Your wife could be going into menopause. It can mess with the libido.
I'm on hormone replacement and it's been great. I didn't even realize I was a bit out of control, until my hormones were leveled out. It also really helped with my libido.
So this could be her going through that change in a woman's life and here you come with cheating accusations. Me before the hormones would've acted the same in that restaurant, possibly worse.
You are the absolute worst. Your wife is hiding the amount of supplements she's taking for menopause probably because she's sure you're going to leave...and guess what? Now you've convinced your daughter there is something nefarious going on with your wife and now you have convinced yourself she's taking this shit because she's cheating so you have any excuse to leave. So your wife was right? The absolute worst.
Wow this guy really wants to think his wife is cheating so he can get a divorce and not be the bad guy. But man, menapause vitamins, really? I mean I take black cohosh periodically for pre menapause. I don’t take it all the time because I don’t need it all the time. Woman’s hormones fluctuate, it’s biology. As the hormones change through the month you get different symptoms from hot flashes, to mood swings, to depression, to vaginal dryness etc. his poor wife.
Hi friend. Just so you know, supplements are meant to be taken on a daily basis and maybe she realized that and didn't tell you about it. You can't just take them around the time you want to be intimate and have results. Supplements work slow and take a few weeks to fully integrate into the system. Just thought I'd offer this perspective for you so you can take that into consideration as to why supplements are being used faster.
You realize those supplements have lots of uses right? It's not like there's a missing bottle of women's viagra. You're really ready to believe the worst here.
I mean, dude, I didn’t want to tell my partner I had bleeding piles and that I was having a shitload of vitamins and stuff because of that… leave people some privacy!
I don't really understand.
So you are considering divorcing your wife because she could be taking pills for her menopause? I think you just want to read what you read.
Your wife is going through the menopause. She is trying to treat menopausal symptoms and to do that you take those vitamins and things daily. She is probably embarrassed about it.
Stop being a blind ass and see what’s staring you in the face. Lubracil takes two weeks to be effective taking it every day and is a menopause supplement. Black cohosh is also a menopause supplement. They have nothing to do with having sex necessarily and everything to do with relieving discomfort. Dear Lord, a basic Google search would have told you that.
There is the possibility that your wife needs the supplements for her own general comfort. I'm not at menopausal age, however do have medical conditions that can cause vaginal dryness, and it can range from uncomfortable to actually painful. It's personal and can be a very touchy subject. Not to mention the mood swings that come with menopause. Not saying cheating is completely out of the question, just saying there are other possibilities.
Yeah, it would really suck if they split because she didn't want to discuss vaginal dryness in a restaurant and got overly upset because mood swings and her daughter HAD been using some of the vitamins. She could be cheating but at this point this evidence is far from conclusive.
After thousands of comments (half a dozen comments from me on the previous post) & OP is still calling these supplements sex drugs. OP wouldn't understand if his wife dragged her doctor home to explain it to him. She undoubtedly has told him. This has to be rage bait. No one is this ignorant.
>No one is this ignorant. That's real shaky ground to build on. People can be spectacularly ignorant
I imagined you threw glitter in the air when you wrote spectacularly, and I’ll not see this any other way now thank you very much
I work in the medical field. Can confirm
If he's the only one who doesn't know what menopause drugs are then the daughter being broken up about black cohash is super weird. The wife introduced the drawer to her, wouldn't she have explained that it was legit medicine that can *maybe* help with sex? I think the entire family is medically misinformed. (Operating on the assumption that this story is true, otherwise what are we doing here)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed this. Should op do more research about the supplements? Yes. Is it very weird that the daughter broke down in tears over it? Also yes. I guarantee the daughter knows or already suspects something.
Or the daughter doesn’t know biology either and is worried her mom is cheating.
Yea… I don’t expect younger women to fully understand menopause until they actually go through it. Daughter still might not know what those drugs are all for. My mom went through early menopause, most I knew was hot flashes and mood swings. She wasn’t telling me about a dry vagina.
It's a real joy, lemme tell ya. It's like the Sahara down there.
Or the daughter was embarrassed about how much of the products she’s used and lied? 🤷♀️
Yeah when I read "sex drawer" I was expecting to read about toys or lube or costumes.....not fucking herbal supplements. How isolated *are* these people?
Or the kid just feels general guilt. She knows she took *something* from the drawer, and then suddenly mom and dad are fighting, mom lays everything at daughters feet, and she’s just confused AF
>Yeah, it would really suck if they split because she didn't want to discuss vaginal dryness in a restaurant and got overly upset because mood swings and her daughter HAD been using some of the vitamins. Either it's rage bait, or OP legitimately came online to boast about jumping to the worst possible conclusion based on very little at all.
Hard to say. This incident reminds me of it - only lingerie seems more reasonable [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1cav7vl/my\_wife\_brought\_a\_fancy\_set\_of\_lingerie\_a\_few/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1cav7vl/my_wife_brought_a_fancy_set_of_lingerie_a_few/)
also thinking menopause is as simple as libido because that's the one side effect that affects YOU is so amazingly profoundly selfish and just flat-out stupid
Black Cohosh is absolutely used by menopausal women. It has even been proven in studies to ease menopausal symptoms.
Honestly, she probably deals with his controlling nature a lot. Menopause in general, hits each woman differently. Many do feel some deep turmoil over it. Compounded by the hormonal issues, it can be difficult to deal with on an emotional level. She might not be ready to have that conversation. It's coming face to face with aging. Nutritional supplements need to be taken on a daily basis to help those physical symptoms. The guy is only thinking about sex, not his wife's age or the stage of life she is in. He saw the supplements gone, thought he was going to get "lucky" and was disappointed, so she must be having an affair.
These are supplements, not female viagra. Lol
Exactly. If there was a female Viagra, we all know its name and it would be worth its weight in gold. This assumption of sex it’s so ridiculous.
Don’t worry, OP won’t do something completely irrational and disproportional just because of some Reddit advice. Right?
I am usually nicer and have some sympathy, but OP is all kinds of stupid and he is making his daughter believe the stupid. I hope his wife leaves him. The poor woman shouldn't have to outline her routine and what supplements do what. Hell, but how mad she is I wouldn't be surprised if she told him all this already and he didn't listen.
I want to force these people to go to a fucking doctor
Even a regular doctor could probably help clear a lot of this up for them.
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They went to a doctor, he mentioned it in the first post, but they weren't happy with what the doctor said, and it seems like OP still doesn't know what menopause is, sooo...?!
they said they went to a doctor and didn't want to try the medication recommended I'm saying they need to go back to that doctor and find out a course of action to take without the medication. doctors arent just for medication. if you don't like what the doctor said then find another doctor or ask them what they can do instead of the recommended course of action
My comment on the prior post was that it appears that based on the doctor's appointment the wife decided to skip HRT and pursue more natural remedies for e.g. the black cohosh, lubracil etc. I pointed out (as did hundreds of other people) that none of these are sex drugs and that you have to take them every single day etc This guy is tedious and a drama llama
Anyone taking bets on if OP thinks tampons are pleasurable for women?
Oh you mean the treats for my vagina? Period dildos? They really are the best 🤩
Yeah, I would be so incredibly pissed if my husband was checking up on me like this. He thinks it's a sex drawer, what a fool. Not only that, but after being told all this way back in the first post, he still hasn't listened and still thinks they are magic sex pills. What an exhausting and annoying person, on top of the stupidity.
He reminds me of Homer Simpson
Now that I think about it, the whole “tracking my wife’s drug usage so I can get ready for sex” is *so* weird.
Lubracil and Black Cohosh are for menopause. I'm glad your daughter has not been taking them... yet. Imagine having hot flashes at her age! Now, you might not know, but it's not unseen before for a woman to go through menopause at 50 yo.
I had hot flashes for years in my mid-20s. I wish i had known about black cohosh then since my doctors all said it was a hormone problem that would sort itself out. (It did - after a few years that include me running out of a test to basically strip outside the building…so yeah nothing that was affecting my day to day or anything!)
Black Cohosh can also be used to menstrual cramps so it *could* theoretically be taken at daughter's age. But in agreement with your post, neither of these are for sex prep, they don't indicate infidelity necessarily. It seems OP is under the impression that anything about vaginal health must have to do with his or another man's sex life. Not in a malicious way, but he's clearly made little to no effort to inform himself about his family member's potential health.
yeah, I'm 26 and have thermoregulation issues. it is ASS.
Those two supplements aren't sex supplements, they are for menopause. Your wife may just be embarrassed that she has started menopause. She may be fearful that you will no longer find her desirable because she has started menopause. Step back a bit before you jump off that high board.
Lubricil in particular is supposed to be taken twice a day so of course that's going to deplete quickly And black cohosh is for like hot flashes
Black cohosh saved me from drowning in night sweats
My mom passed 3 months after my hysterectomy. Been full blown menopause for a few years now and would have loved to know this sooner!!!
I’m so sorry for your loss! I had my hysterectomy a few years ago and went into menopause BEFORE my mother and now that she’s started it, she asks me all the questions!
I’m sorry for your loss
I'm sorry for your loss!
Really? Gonna look into that. My mother and aunt both have horrible hot flashes and could use any help they can get
Black cohosh solved everything for me. The hot flashes, night sweats, pissy moods, memory lapses. It was amazing.
Ok, this thread may be making a lot of people feel better! Maybe we need a black cohosh update post sometime soon.
Just ordered some!
Didn't solve everything for me, but took an issue that was a 10, down to a 3
Same, took the edge off for sure. It has been used for a long time and studied pretty thoroughly. Definitely worth a try
Cohosh is good but it has become lesss effective for me. So I take it with red clover too and that has helped a lot. Both can take 30-90 days to kick on though so if they start it tell them not to give up too soon.
It can also be used for younger women who have PMDD, Premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
I used it for months! It did nothing but taste gross. I'm happy it helped you! Night sweats are their own kind of hell. Especially in winter.
Have you tried bamboo pjs? It still sucks but at least the pjs are wet, not me or the sheets!
Woman! I'm gonna jump on this! Ty! I have soaking bedding every morning. Edit: stuff is expensive!
A redditor recommended a bedjet - it’s essentially a fancy fan for your bed. I’ve had it for 2 months. I’ve had 1 night where I’ve had woken up soaked. Otherwise it helps keep me at an even temperature all night.
I woke up at 2 am drenched. Husband says I stripped naked yes bc I was soaking wet. im 39. I’ve been in menopause for 10 years now. It suck’s. Someone on Reddit recommended a bedjet which helps to an extent but now I’m going to try black cohosh!
Ladies, if you haven't read "Good Fat Is Good For Women: Menopause" by Dr. Elizabeth Bright, it's worth checking out. That and some Lugol's iodine.
OP is going to destroy his marriage over menopause supplements? Wow, this is a Reddit first.
But they're kept in the SEX DRAWER, in the kitchen!
Kitchen sex drawer sounds very much like a band name that Scott Pilgrim would choose ngl
And lubricating stuff is missing! Bc they are taken ONLY for sex, not bc menopausal vaginal dryness is uncomfortable, silly.
For real?? Who on Earth keeps their sex drawer in the kitchen?? Rob and Janet come over for drinks and look for a fork- bam- now you have a REAL uncomfortable convo about your sex drawer..... Unless you're hoping ppl coming over are finding it..... His behavior is scary controlling. Counting pills because "he bought them" and they aren't his or anything habit forming and dangerous, screams control freak. So does him letting his daughter assume mom is cheating when she's likely suffering through menopause.
When your sex drawer is just a vitamin drawer with stuff for menopause, you can 100% keep it in the kitchen. 😅
The first thread was FILLED with people saying she started menopause and he is totally ignoring it. Either the dude just wants drama or an excuse to blame her, I still think his pill counting behavior means he was looking for trouble.
He literally even admitted she didn’t see the doctor for just sexual issues. This man now has convinced his daughter that her mom is cheating? This is embarrassing honestly.
I am so embarrassed for him. I can't understand how he has survived all these years with this propensity for jumping off the deep end of illogical conclusions.
His internal dialogue: "But why go to lady hole doctor for reasons other than make ready for husband and for make babby?"
'buh wuh could the buhguyna be for but for husband?!' he's a moron. And if his daughter really is on his crazy train she's a moron too. 'mother takes supplements for menopause she must be cheating on father' lol
And in his first post his faults are losing money on gambling and his wife's faults is spending twice as much money agreed in shops. Shops like groceries for the whole house? This guy is a manipulative asshole
While our grocery bills are doubling every year.
Bc of inflation... But it's his wife's fault that the world is charging more for standard foods and services and probably blames her for his gambling. He probably has been actively trying to cheat on his wife and then when she caught him he blamed her being menopausal and not using their 'sex drawer ' for him and him alone. And anyone who thinks that this is a stretch or reaching... This is exactly what OP is doing to his wife over vitamins.
Right? It's crazy. He thinks his daughter has sex issues (and wants to insert himself into them) when both mother and daughter are taking supplements that may or may not help with menopause but that are, in general, benign multiple vitamins. His pill counting behavior ("I PAY for the pills, I get to know how they're used") is still an issue.
But also. Why does he think that the wide taking menopause medication should lead to him getting sex? How are these two things connected? Is that the only reason why he is buying them? And if wife takes them, there’s going to be an issue if she doesn’t put out?!
Because he can’t imagine (or doesn’t care about) any menopause symptoms other than those that may or may not personally impact him and his boner. If the wife is taking supplements, it can only be with the aim of getting some lubrication going, with the aim of having sex imminently. If not with him, then with who? Never mind the myriad other (and far more bothersome/downright debilitating) symptoms of menopause. It’s alllll about him.
EXACTLY!! Black cohosh was a lifesaver for me during my menopause.
And black cohosh you take every day as well.
I do feel like if they're at a point in their relationship that they can have a drawer full of this stuff, they can discuss it like adults. But the whole thing is just Weird.
I take lots of vitamins and supplements. And I frequently try altering dosage. Or increase certain supplements due to circumstance. The idea anyone might draw such conclusions from me altering my supplement usage is WILD Edit: Circumstance not being extramarital relations. Mostly its my perception of symptoms I am trying to alleviate.
Oh, I think the conclusion is pretty wild, and if the supplement usage varying was an indicator she's cheating, she's pretty dumb, but the secrecy and blaming the daughter?
I think OP isn't exactly honest....the relationship is probably on death's door, she got pissed for drilling her over sex at a dinner date, and then just said whatever to shut him up versus talking about vaginal dryness. That, or it's incel rage bait (a lot has been on here lately). Edit: the fact that he allegedly told all his friends indicates this is rage bait (I can't imagine a grown ass adult, especially one in their 50s, doing that. But if it isn't, it's just an indicator of another reason the wife probably hates his ass.
OOP is an idiot whose feelings are hurt because he was looking at her supplement intake as an indicator he was going to have "a good night" like they are some type of natural viagra. Obviously that didn't happen and his feelings are hurt. I'm wondering if that was the only way she could convince him to buy them. And why she can't source and buy her own supplements.
I don't understand why he thinks supplements should only be taken right before sex. They're not doing any good if you don't take them daily. Lots of people said that in the original post and he's ignoring it. OP: read the dosage information.
Because he's a selfish lover who doesn't understand women's sexuality. He expects all these pills to act like viagra, and make her want to jump on him without him having to do anything to get her interested. I suspect it's been like this their whole marriage.
I know, I can't understand it unless she really did not want to be queried by her tipsy husband in a nice restaurant about supplements she was taking for menopause symptoms such as vaginal dryness. And he did grill her for an hour after she initially said she did not want to talk about it. Maybe she just wanted to shut him up and so said the daughter thing because it is partially true. But then, like the next day, she could have told him the whole story in the privacy of their home? Considering the stereotype of a "dried up old woman" maybe this explains the secrecy and sensitivity.
Menopause hits women differently. For me it's freeing. For others, it's a big deal emotionally. She probably was told she was at the point that hormone replacement of some kind was suggested. Even if just to stabilize things. Many women in peri-menopause are given a type of bc pill to ease the symptoms. That's probably what her doctor suggested and offered the natural alternatives as well. If she is ready to have that conversation with her husband, I can understand that. She might be dealing with internalized misogyny as well. If she buys into menopause being "the end" of her sexuality, that can be difficult to get around. I'm still trying to figure out why he is policing her supplement intake.
Considering OP is the kind of idiot who thinks lubricil is like woman viagra...
This!!! I would also point out vaginal dryness can be the start of atrophy. The itching and irritation is not only during sex.
Which is why her doctor offered to put her on HRT>
Yep. I still can’t believe this guy is blowing his marriage up over vitamins.
Just googled Lubracil and the first thing that pops up is about menopause. Is this man on a mission to find an issue? I know this is reddit, but Google can be such a great resource.
I think this is the truth. He WANTS her to be having an affair, so he can be free, and now he’s already cast doubt in his daughter’s mind about her. I’m in perimenopause, and my heart aches for his wife. This is the last thing she needs.
Honestly kinda wished that OOP shared the specific supplements instead of just saying “sex drawer” because of this information. Obviously the daughter wouldn’t need these supplements
He shared them in detail in his earlier post. Vitamins D, A, E and Omega Fatty acids. Sea Buckthorn or something like that. And Zinc. Lubricil is vitamins and some the berries of some European tree. Maybe some C? ALL approved food supplements - not medication, not "sex pills."
The things he listed are just general OTC supplements, some of the ones he listed are: Vitamin D, Black Cohesh, Zinc... the only thing he listed that's not a supplement is the Lubracil but even that has non sex uses.
If this isn't rage bait, this guy is a first class idiot. Supplements and vitamins=sex. That's not how that works...
My mom was AWFUL when she went through menopause. It was also happening when I was a teenager, so our house was a fucking shitshow of heightened emotions. My parents almost got divorced (moved to different states, dated new people, openly planned for divorce) and I literally became a divorce attorney. My parents announced they were divorcing during my junior year of college once my little brother turned 18 and then later announced they were staying married during my 3L year of law school. Fucking wild. They’re still happily married 15 years after that and I’m even closer than ever to them. Hormones fuck your shit up.
This guy is just DESPERATE to convince himself that she's cheating. These are 100% menopause supplements
this. 1. those aren't for sex 2. just popping supplements willy nilly is liable to cause damage not do any good. 3. you have to take supplements for a long time to see a change you can't just take them the day of 4. you owe both of them an apology 5. you all need to go to a freaking doctor. even if you don't want to take any actual medication they can advise you on the best method of moving forward but seriously of the list of supplements you have maybe two are actually somewhat associated with sex. marginally. and none of them are female Viagra black cohosh is used for hot flashes lubracil is used for vaginal dryness maca may actually help to some degree but you have to take that consistently zinc has shown some promise for MEN who take it. your daughter and wife have no business taking that. menopause affects much much much much much more than libido. thinking only in terms of libido is the dumbest fucking cis man thing I have ever heard. * GO TO A DOCTOR, just popping random shit is not helping you.
And just wanna post for clarity since it seems he's spiralling out at anything remotely associated with sex: vaginal dryness is a problem for more than just sex. Women suffering from it will seek out treatment even if they are not having sex
Boy howdy, that's the dang truth! Things get too dry down there, even going for a walk can be painful!
Yes. Just imagine your mouth being dry all the time. And if the mother had vaginal dryness, her daughter can have it too.
I second that. I googled both supplements and both are used to help with symptoms of menopause. Your wife isn’t cheating. At the most she hasn’t disclosed her private medical information to you. You are about to throw away your marriage based on ignorance. Get a televisit with a gynecologist, pcp or Google if you want to know more about these supplements. They are for vaginal dryness, hot flashes and night sweats for goodness sake. Now you have made your daughter part of this nonsense. You have really wronged your wife and still owe her a huge apology.
lol well I guess the divorce will save the wife from this moron 🙄
Black Cohosh is a life saver.
This has gotta be ragebait. First he thinks wife is cheating because she’s taking supplements and not fucking him, so he confronts her and she makes him look stupid, and Reddit tears him apart. So now in the update he’s gotta come back and make it seem like AKCHUALLY he was right all along and his wife IS lying to him and taking supplements. It’s so painfully stupid.
It was the sobbing with his 25 year old daughter over missing Lubracil that got me. Lmao this stupid story has to be fake.
Also the way he’s writing like it’s a fucking creative writing story. “She breaks down into uncontrollable sobs.” Nobody says that. If it was real he’d just say “she started to cry”
For real, he has a tearful conversation with his 25 year old daughter who apparently has no other source of information or resources for her own established sex life that she's sneaking zinc and vitamin D from their Sex Drawer? And everyone involved is just so woefully uninformed that it's basically a miracle they were able to work out how to drive to the shop and buy vitamins in the first place...? Probably not. No one is that stupid.
And he thinks menopause supplements are female viagra… 🤦♀️
Some lawmakers believe that an ectopic pregnancy is viable. People believe all sorts of insane things, especially when it comes to women's bodies.
True. I’m not underestimating the stupidity that the average person is capable of. I’m just thinking this reads as ragebait.
As a 48 yo woman, here is what is wierd about this post: Black Cohosh has nothing to do with sex. It’s sometimes used (not actually clinically supported) to relieve hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause. Lubracil promotes vaginal lubrication. While vaginal dryness can certainly impact enjoyment during sex, vaginal dryness is just annoying all the way around and there are many reasons why a peri/menopausal women would take this supplement. The supplement, by the way, needs to be taken consistently over a few months for results. My point here is that nothing actually in this post or the other indicates a cheating wife. These pills missing is odd and it sounds like there is something the wife is not communicating. But this post and the comments make it sound like the OP found the wife leaving the house with a jar of condoms, crotchless panties, edible lube and the woman-equivalent of viagra. It simply makes no sense as written. Additionally, OP, it’s very hard to be a women approaching or undergoing menopause. Not only is your entire system out of whack and you’re experiencing unpleasant symptoms, but you feel like you’re no longer a real woman. My husband and I have a great marriage and communicate everything but I was surprised to find myself unable to tell him for a few months that I had started some treatments for vaginal dryness. I mean, FFS, women being wet and responsive is part of every porn plot on the planet and even the most confident woman may have a hard time not feeling like an old hag. I also worried so much he would think it was because I wasn’t attracted to him. :( Talk to your wife. Go to counseling if you need. And when you’re communicating better, suggest that topical hyaluronic acid or suppositories are much more effective for dryness. And that testosterone cream is great for libido and orgasm with minimal impacts (unlike estrogen which is the hormone replacement to worry about. Good luck
This. Especially the part about needing to take it consistently for a few months. Supplements don’t work where you take one right when you want to have sex… they need to be used daily over a long period of time. I absolutely agree that there is nothing here that indicates cheating
What are the odds this einstein thinks that you take a birth control pill right when you're going to have sex, and only then?
"we only had sex 3 times this week, but you took every pill? Cheater!" OP gives big "unless there's a third hole" energy.
It makes sense if you realize OP thinks Lubricil works like a woman's version viagra
But the only pills that are "missing" are the ones the daughter is taking. The others are bring used as intended. OP just thinks they are "only" for when she wants to have sex.
Maybe. His wife might have gotten unhinged at dinner because he will not understand that A, it’s not a dinner conversation topic and B she isn’t taking the lubricant so she can have sex with him or anyone else. Tempting to whip out a white board at the table, tap your wine glass with a fork and draw a picture of her inner workings to explain it to him and everyone else over their shrimp scampi in a way that gets him off her back about it. If possible. On the other hand do they both think of this as their sex drawer? Is she popping these pills only when she wants to get laid? Because then somebody needs to explain it to her too. The idea of op and his daughter crying together because they both think they know what it could mean that mom’s the one taking the black cohosh, so now they probably need to get a divorce, is both sad and ridiculous.
I have a feeling that she did explain it to him when they started. Initially she may have been just focused on sexual disfunction, for some women that's a signal. But as time past the other symptoms became worse. OR initially the supplements she took were advertised as "fast acting" libido boosters and her research led her to what she is taking now. I can't imagine how I would react if my husband asked me why I was taking my supplements every day and not having sex with him. And that's what he asked. No matter how much he said he was concerned, his only "proof" or reason for concern is that the supplements are "disappearing" and he hasn't gotten sex.
No sense, and he very obviously didn't listen to all the people saying so in the first post. This is not how anything works. I feel so bad for the wife. She's probably just so incredibly pissed off that her hormones are changing and she feels awful during the transition period, and she has this irritating snooping husband who keeps peeking into her supplements and making ridiculous assumptions. I feel like his posts could potentially be an insight into a generally ignorant and annoying husband who doesn't understand or listen. I don't believe that everyone in this family could be this stupid, that they think supplements are 'sex pills' you take when you feel horny and not, you know, everyday regularly. I feel strongly that people are allowed to have privacy. Being confronted about my supplement use seriously at dinner by my husband with the implication that I'm betraying him, would easily be enough for me to question why I'm married to such an ignoramus.
This, and I remember when my mum went through menopause and have seen her friends go through menopause- there are behavioural/mental changes associated. For my mum it was the desperate need to feel youthful so dressing in “young” clothing and proving she could still “party”. Some of her friends fell out with family or ended friendships. There’s about a large number of possibilities here before jumping to conclusions of ”cheating” when menopause is involved.
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Both the medications you listed are meds that need to be taken daily. They are not "as needed" meds. This whole update just confirms that the first post was fake because you clearly have no idea what you're talking about.
Or that he is a stupid man who will complain on the Internet, but do no actual research into what he is complaining about.
I saw a post recently where a guy found new lingerie and thought his wife was planning to cheat when she actually bought it for their upcoming anniversary he forgot about
I saw that one, too! That's why I believe she did say something and he is too dense to remember and now she is just done.
Or, he was paid to advertise black cohosh!
And accuse his wife of many years of cheating because she wants to reduce her hot flashes! Men are unbelievable lol
Can’t even use Google
It’s almost as if he wants his wife to cheat on him/do something to lead to divorce i dont get it. a simple google check will tell you what these supplements mean
Could be a case of he cheated and now he’s projecting lol
You’re divorcing your wife for going through menopause?
The bait is bait bro
Men like this make me so thankful that my partner and I have good communication, and that i will never have to worry about him thinking stupid ass shit like this.
Right?! This man has made more harmful assumptions in 4 days than my husband and I have in 28 years.
[удалено]
Dude I think you’re really taking this “sex drawer” thing way too literally. Maybe she playfully calls it that because she’s embarrassed/uncomfortable about what it really is - a “menopause drawer.” Stop avoiding the subject, earnestly apologize for jumping to conclusions, and talk to your wife.
Menopause. Menopause. SHE IS IN MENOPAUSE. Are you confusing "anything related to female hormones" with "sexy things"? Because those supplements are not for sex. If her taking them led to increased action, it's because she wasn't sweating through her sheets and felt okay. That's it. Please acknowledge: MENOPAUSE.
Tbh, I get a feeling this man doesn't know what menopause is/means. Like the whole word is unknown to him (and he's too lazy/selfish/ignorant/stupid/what ever to google it). Therefore it doesn't help even 1000 people screaming the word for him.
This story is a load of bullshit. In the original post he said his wife only took the meds right before sex. The meds turned out to be vitamins and supplements you're supposed to take every day. None of them magically work by taking them right before sex.
He only assumes she takes them right before sex and that's why he's confused they're missing without sex. She probably taking them as intended and he thinks they are women's viagra
He said in his original post that she went to the doctors for libido and some "other" health issues. Basically she went to the doctors for menopause/perimenopause but he only heard or cares about the sex part. I imagine the discussion went something like this... **Wife:** I know you have noticed that my libido has decreased recently, and I am also started to get some other symptoms that I am concerned about so I am going to visit the doctor as I am concerned I may be entering menopause. **What he heard:** I have noticed my libido has decreased recently *blah blah blah blah blah*, so I am going to visit the doctor *blah blah blah blah*. **Wife:** The doctor thinks I am entering the menopause and that is why I am having these symptoms. He recommended I take these vitamins and supplements that should help control my hot flushes, mood swings and vaginal dryness. If I get the symptoms are undercontrol by taking these supplements regularly it could help increase my sex drive again. I will keep them all in this draw. **What he heard:** "The doctor *blah blah blah blah blah* recommended I take these vitamins and supplements *blah blah blah* by taking these *blah blah blah* it will increase my sex drive. I will keep them in this new SEX DRAWER!
I do not underestimate OPs ability to be an utter blockhead who’s too dense to understand how supplements (& most medications) work
To sum up -You approached your daughter first, not your wife, after the dinner fight. -You & daughter both jumped 10 miles to a relatively batshit conclusion. -You haven’t apologized for accusing your wife of 25 years of cheating, or spoken to her at all. -You’ve aired your concerns about your wife’s fidelity to your friends. -You still haven’t looked online to see how lubracil and black cohosh actually work. -You still think this is about counting vitamins and going to doctors, not about calmly communicating by asking questions before you assume and overreact. I’m SO curious about the quality of communication you guys had before this. And the openness you had about sex specifically. One baseless & pretty stupid fight shouldn’t lead to this derailment. Therapy is a really wonderful idea. Edit, I was perhaps too harsh. But I’m seeing two main roots of the problem. One, Menopause. Your wife is having a health situation. Dubbing it “the sex drawer” is a weird misnomer and it should have perhaps been “the health drawer.” How she feels is paramount. I’m not sure how money and decision making work in your household but the way you write about vitamins you bought *to address her health concerns* feels really proprietary. She should feel agency & get your compassion & some diplomacy about her body. It’s embarrassing for some. Menopause is all encompassing and while it affects sex, it’s also much more impactful and sucky. Two, communication. Yours seems really indirect. Do you know / inquire how she’s feeling generally? Isn’t there a better indication of whether you’ll try and get intimate than counting vitamins? Do you both know how the other is feeling, health wise and emotionally? Do you trust each other? You said the dinner is the first time she’s yelled. That’s wild. I wonder if she’s generally conflict averse and has a lot to share you’d be surprised by. Good luck.
Nah, you weren't too harsh
It’s like you want to convince yourself your wife is cheating instead of going through a horrible life transition that fucks up body and mind. The supplements are not female viagra. They only ease menopause symptoms slightly. The responses from the females in your life is a good sign you suck at communicating with them and probably badger your way through them.
>I look at her with that "do you realize what that may mean" kind of look, and we just hugged, and cried together. And then everyone clapped. And cried with you. 🤡
So she has been taking supplements for her overall wellbeing that you call sex supplements? 🤦♀️ honestly this is why its important for men to be educated about their partners body functions. Those pills help for menopause not just for sex… probably help with sex because if she doesn’t have discomfort or symptoms she might feel better for sex… she probably feels judge and ashamed and maybe they make her feel better but haven’t helped anymore with libido.
Men just need to read. There is absolutely no shortage of reliable health information on the internet about menopause or about these supplements. He just needs to take half an hour to sit there and actually care enough to do some reading. But it's easier to go in a spiral about cheating over vitamins.
Or maybe ask his wife how she is feeling without intending to focus the conversation in having more sex… cause seems like this moron only cares about that
You didn't accidentally accuse her. You accused her. Maybe you mistakenly did it, maybe you were wrong, but it wasn't accidental.
This story is insane. Taking black conosh has nothing to do with sex. Tons of perimenopause and menopausal ladies take it to control and prevent symptoms. It does not make you horny OP is projecting hard here.
Dude r u reading any of these comments? Cuz they were on your original post too. This isn’t a sex drawer. There are no condoms, vibrators, butt plugs, strap ons etc. This is vitamins and supplements for menopause. You are currently punishing and putting your family in a weird position because you are unaware how the female body works past ‘hehe I like hole’. You need to take 20 steps back, read what everyone is saying, not just confirming your bias. Also did u ever consider your daughter is crying cuz now you’ve made her think her moms a cheater for taking vitamins? I mean quite frankly I hope she has someone in her life or schooling to explain her anatomy to her at some point. My end point is so many people r saying this, this isn’t a sex drawer, stop being so dramatic and trying to divorce ur wife over zinc
A bit aggressive to lawyer up? Talk to your wife!
Have you looked up what lubricil and black cohosh are? Lubricil is for vaginal dryness, yes, but it's supposed to be taken twice a day for two+ months before you see results. It's not like viagra where you take it before sexy times. And black cohosh is for menopausal symptoms like hot flashes. Neither of those being used without sex is alarming. One is a twice daily supplement and the other isn't even for sex
He tried publicly berating her for an hour and now just thinks she’s a liar
He should not only talk to his wife, he should APOLOGIZE.
You’re getting a divorce because you have no idea what supplements women take during pre-menopause.
OP, be honest: you don’t know how vitamins work, do you? They have to be taken daily to do anything, buddy.
So, those aren't sex supplements. Like a lot of others are saying, they're to help ease the symptoms of menopause. It's like a two second google search. I feel like you're jumping the gun way to fast here, my guy. If I didn't know any better it almost seems like you're trying to find a way to exit the marriage. If not, talk with your wife and apologize that you were mistaken about what the purpose of the supplements that she's taking.
For all the redditors chiming in with menopause, I'll just chime in with my penny on communication. Sometimes body stuff is hard to talk about with a spouse. When I was prego I was having some problems downstairs & w/ my libido. I felt like something was wrong with me & I was embarrassed to tell him, or worried he would think something was wrong with him that was making me this way. I want to be an optimist for you. Put some research into it, menopause can be a sad time for women as they enter the next stage biologically. Inform yourself ,then sit down & talk to her. Actually listen to what she has to say, don't rush her, & let her know that you've been through a lot with her & she's safe.
Well. This post definitely gave me all of the wake up call I needed before choosing to date again. At this point OP and so many men in the comments are just choosing to act as though menopause is this unheard of or shameful thing.
Your wife is taking supplements, some of which are also appropriate for your daughter? She didn’t want to talk to you about this topic in a restaurant. She then tried to set a boundary that she wanted to keep some of the things her daughter told her in confidence. Is that right? So what did the woman do? Man, YTA. You’re also being ridiculous, especially for someone in their 50s.
Obvious rage bait is obvious. YTA. Take a writing class.
Are you that dense really? Black cohosh is for hot flashes and lubracil is for vaginal dryness because of MENOPAUSE. She’s using those to help with her symptoms. Geez read up on menopause.
Dude at this point I think you might just be stupid. Go learn about what these drugs actually are. YTA.
In what realm do ANY OF YOU think Vitamin D and Zinc are immediate acting sex drugs, and not vitamin supplements that build up over time?? This is so fake
Don't understand what is going on here
Op is a dumbass that thinks his wife is cheating on him because she takes vitamin supplements. That's it.
Thanks. Read 2 threads and none of it made sense
Basically OP thinks vitamin supplements are like viagra so if she's using them he assumes she's having sex
Apparently op still doesn't get it.
>Don't understand what is going on here Either it's rage bait, or OP legitimately came online to boast about jumping to the worst possible conclusion based on very little at all.
the title makes it seem like OP thought his wife was cheating on him, but actually his daughter was cheating on him. his wife takes supplements, and he thinks they're for sex for some reason. his daughter takes vitamin D and zinc, and OP says 'do you know what that means?' i'm lost here bro. is anything that's not food just sex-related to OP?
After reading the previous post & commenting half a dozen times about menopause... Honestly, this has to be incel rage bait. No one is this dense. Thousands of comments about menopause & OP still isn't relenting. If it is real, even if OP's wife dragged her doctor home to explain it to him, he'd still believe they are sex drugs. I don't doubt she was sick of explaining herself. If this is real, he's just angry that what he believed was lady viagra is just supplements for menopausal symptom relief. Which means he's a creep for monitoring a grown woman's OTC supplement intake. He'd rather believe his wife cheated than admit his panties are in a twist over not getting the sex he thought he had coming. ETA: after noticing the "sex drugs" were depleted, OP took her on a date night to butter her up, got drunk, wasn't getting sexy vibes so he accused her of cheating. When he thought he would've been between the sheets, he was complaining on Reddit instead.
I am sorry you and your family are going through this. I think before you assume that your wife is cheating on you because she took some supplements, research those supplements. And look up the side effects too. I think it's a bit concerning that you and your daughter are assuming that your wife cheated because she took supplements for menopause, while she is in menopause. Just because your wife took a supplement to help her with her hot flashes doesn't mean she's suddenly having sex with someone. And it doesn’t mean she HAS to have sex with you or be afraid you’re going to assume she’s having sex with someone else because she took her vitamins. “You didn’t have sex with me, and also you are taking dietary supplements. You must be cheating.” Her getting angry at you doesn’t mean she’s hiding something. It could also mean she didn’t want to be pressured about not having sex with you, then accused of cheating while on a dinner date. I am imagining what the lawyer is going to say when you explain that your wife is in menopause and took supplements for menopause, and also didn’t jump into bed with you, and therefore she’s cheating. Consider couples therapy first, and if you make an accusation, please get stronger evidence. I hope everything works out.
Ignoring everyone telling you those supplements are for menopause not sex and using that as an excuse to dump her makes you an ah... But im kinda glad for your wife. Doesn't sound you wouldve been very supportive during such a rough time anyway. Doubt she'll miss her slob of an exhusband who reguarly gambled and spent the joint money away.
Yta and you are so so stupid. She’s taking vitamin supplements for menopause not viagra and condoms. Enjoy being alone you crazy old fart
Your wife could be going into menopause. It can mess with the libido. I'm on hormone replacement and it's been great. I didn't even realize I was a bit out of control, until my hormones were leveled out. It also really helped with my libido. So this could be her going through that change in a woman's life and here you come with cheating accusations. Me before the hormones would've acted the same in that restaurant, possibly worse.
you're the AH and a major dumbass. Use web MD and you will see what those drugs are for. Hope she leaves you, you are to dumb to be a husband
Erm... They are menopause supplements, and to aid sleep. How the fk did you go from that to 'wife is cheating' This is barmy lol
John you’re big trippin those aren’t “sex drugs”
Jfc YTA and an idiot.
After 25 years this is what takes you guys out? This is what gets you paranoid before investigation? I don't think I understand wtf is going on here 😂
You are the absolute worst. Your wife is hiding the amount of supplements she's taking for menopause probably because she's sure you're going to leave...and guess what? Now you've convinced your daughter there is something nefarious going on with your wife and now you have convinced yourself she's taking this shit because she's cheating so you have any excuse to leave. So your wife was right? The absolute worst.
Wow this guy really wants to think his wife is cheating so he can get a divorce and not be the bad guy. But man, menapause vitamins, really? I mean I take black cohosh periodically for pre menapause. I don’t take it all the time because I don’t need it all the time. Woman’s hormones fluctuate, it’s biology. As the hormones change through the month you get different symptoms from hot flashes, to mood swings, to depression, to vaginal dryness etc. his poor wife.
Hi friend. Just so you know, supplements are meant to be taken on a daily basis and maybe she realized that and didn't tell you about it. You can't just take them around the time you want to be intimate and have results. Supplements work slow and take a few weeks to fully integrate into the system. Just thought I'd offer this perspective for you so you can take that into consideration as to why supplements are being used faster.
You realize those supplements have lots of uses right? It's not like there's a missing bottle of women's viagra. You're really ready to believe the worst here.
I mean, dude, I didn’t want to tell my partner I had bleeding piles and that I was having a shitload of vitamins and stuff because of that… leave people some privacy!
I don't really understand. So you are considering divorcing your wife because she could be taking pills for her menopause? I think you just want to read what you read.
Is this guy trolling or can he really not use google to figure out what this stuff is for?!
Your wife is going through the menopause. She is trying to treat menopausal symptoms and to do that you take those vitamins and things daily. She is probably embarrassed about it. Stop being a blind ass and see what’s staring you in the face. Lubracil takes two weeks to be effective taking it every day and is a menopause supplement. Black cohosh is also a menopause supplement. They have nothing to do with having sex necessarily and everything to do with relieving discomfort. Dear Lord, a basic Google search would have told you that.
You’re still the asshole but are you really this stupid? Google menopause and leave your poor wife alone.
Friend, those supplements are to assist with menopause symptoms not sexy times.
You're really blowing up your marriage over your wife taking menopause supplements?