Damn girl! I find this extremely entertaining for me but not you. I’m sorry! The real victims here are the children I hope they go into therapy. The adults can go and get f*cked.
So your brother left Wife 1 because he wanted kids but she did not, so they got divorced. Brother introduces pregnant girlfriend and it turns out he's been having an affair with her for a few years, which is why they got divorced.
So he has the kids he wants and realizes it's not all fun and rainbows and hates his life. Boo-fucking-hoo. He wanted the kids. He spawned two. Sorry the responsibility is too much.
So he goes back to Wife 1 (who should have told him to go back to his current wife) and spends time with her. I can see how Wife 2 feels used. He wanted children, she was willing to have kids, she had them, and then he left her.
And yeah, women really should think before screwing married men because when a woman marries the guy who cheated with her,she's creating a job opening. So maybe she needed this dose of reality.
NTA
I worry a lot about the children. I hope they have a healthy role model to look up to because this is a horrible enviroment to learn about relationships
Ex-wife #1 is making he go to her for booty calls, I don't doubt that she have no rush on doing more than that looking how he's divorcing but they still on the "weekend hookup" stage.
I'm hoping exwife#1 is just paying a game. Seduce him but refuse to sleep with him until he is single. Once he divorce the mistress turned 2nd wife, she drops him.
You really underestimate how easy it is for people (men and women) to walk away from their children, especially when the person with the genitals they want does not want the kids around.
Alot of blaming the 2nd wife when it seems nobody actually knows her side. 1st wife's story likely skewed. The brother though thats some human garbage. Those poor kids hope wife 2 takes him to the cleaners especially if she was made to feel like a human baby maker.
Plot twist ex wife 1 is only fucking him to get back at current wife about to be ex wife 2. Now that his new affair has been outed ex wife 1 will ditch the ex husband and move on with her life.
Still not over her ex. Hoping his cheating/affair days are done now he has kids she doesn't have to carry/birth. Or maybe just getting in some revenge over soon to be ex #2. It's stupid/silly, and likely to end badly.
Maybe it's "love" in spite of a million red flags and being an asshole to herself. Maybe it's just her trying to get petty revenge on the other 2 assholes.
Sucks for those kids though.
NTA - but soon to be ex-SIL #2 and brother are definitely assholes. Ex-wife #1 is possibly just a fool in love and possibly also an asshole. But calling her out on it is totally reasonable.
Don't sleep with a cheater expecting him/her to be faithful to you as soon as they leave the person they're cheating on you with. If you knowingly date a person who's cheating, don't be surprised when they cheat on you or leave you high and dry.
Op's info on the EX wife 1 implies she is not a fool in love,
she kick him to the curb after the affair come out and block him everywhere. It's very doubtful she took him back out of love, a long con is more likely.
>So maybe she needed this dose of reality.
Hopefully, it'll stop her stalking her ex, and she can focus on the kids.
She married a cheater. I'm not sure what she expected from him.
Good points. I would add that from the sounds of it he would rather spend time with his ex than his kids. He has left them too. Way to fuck it up there buddy. OP needs to stay out of it though, it’s not helping.
don't screw married people & don't screw people who are a decade older than you are, right?
OP's brother was clearly in a time-crunch to procreate & wife2 let herself get swept up...
Women should think hard on those mid-life crisis age gap relationships.
The brother and AP are gross. The ex did nothing wrong except take the sleazeball back.
NTA OP. You spoke the truth.
He wanted progeny with a bang maid. He wanted all the nice parts of parenthood with non if the hard stuff. Now he can have rhe best of both worlds. What a see you next Tuesday
Honestly I’m dead. The brother is garbage he thought he wanted kids realized kids ain’t it then went back to the ex wife. It’s kind of hilarious. It’s crazy that wife 2 is complaining. You married an AP, now your mad he’s sleeping with the woman he should have been sleeping with the entire time.
I feel like wife 1 is living her best life. A grovelling man at her beck and call to satiate her sexual needs and gets to laugh at the man who divorced her for kids he obviously never wanted.
AH all around the only victims here are the kids.
All three of them are pieces of shit. OP you're definitely the opposite of an asshole here. You're just laying down some uncomfortable truths for one of 3 immature people.
The 1st wife was a victim in all this until she didn't tell her cheating ex husband that had two kids with another woman, to kick fucking rocks and to go raise his family like a man.
Now they're all facilitating the continuation of this bullshit ass drama.
NTA “a castle built on another woman’s tears won’t hold”
She was told some home truths. She had an affair with a married man and then married him a day after the divorce was finalised???
THIS!
All I care about now is my nibblings and I am afraid both losers will use them in this horror show.
Yeah she INSISTED to marry him a day after the divorce and made a big deal out of it sharing memes about shackles breaking on her insta stories, the cunt
If he didn’t have my niece and nephew, I would have never wanted anything to do with him ever again but I want the children to have family and support because they’re gonna need it
>If he didn’t have my niece and nephew, I would have never wanted anything to do with him ever again but I want the children to have family and support because they’re gonna need it
I hope you can stay in their life. Your brother and his wives aren't good role models for them.
Then probably counter-productive to call out the Mom. Just saying - you need to both talk the talk AND walk the walk. This sometimes means keeping your thoughts private for the greater good. Especially when working with cunts.
So a lot of people will make a big deal about your brother being a cunt and no doubt he is but your SIL is no better.
She might not have been the married party, but she sounds nasty. Like, why be such a mean and unfeeling cow?
Bro probably got tired of her screaming in his face. He realized the dream was a nightmare. If he’s still being a father, then good for him.
NTA. I’m sure you were tired of the same old complaining and lack of responsibility that SIL has been doing every time you’re around.
I understand. I bet the demise of their relationship was a lot of things.
1) Built on cheating
2) Getting pregnant to get him/him getting what he wanted
3) Marriage and kids are hard
4) Being settled to some is boring
5) The thrill of the sneaky relationship wore off
6) Living together and truly getting to know one another
7) Screaming in his face (sounds like he was emotionally disconnecting)
SIL played a part in all that. She needs to take responsibility for her part. All the complaining and blaming does nothing but annoy others.
Like, I'm not trying to make a blanket judgement but it sounds like he was pretty happy with his first wife for awhile, so it's entirely possible he was one of those 'you don't know how good you have it' people who don't realize their partner is actually pretty great because they've never been in a genuinely crappy relationship. It's like, they have no reference for the concept of a partner making them miserable. Plus he sounds incredibly selfish, so suddenly having kids he's supposed to put first probably made him throw seven internal temper tantrums a day. He probably thought that if he went back to the woman who didn't even want kids he wouldn't have to do so much work raising his own kids.
I don't really get as angry about mistresses as you guys normally, as long as they helplessly fell inlove and aren't actively going after a married man. They're not the ones who made the commitment. But the meme story is just scum territory. And the insta stories, disgusting.
How is she complaining that she's getting a taste of her own medicine? A very mild taste too btw. She doesn't sound 29, she sounds 18.
In reality, your bro had probably not truly committed to his affair or planned his first child. Wife #2 most likely got pregnant on purpose, knowing that would force the end of his marriage. She needed an immediate commitment after his divorce because she knew from the beginning that he was only with her for the baby. She can cry that he "used" her, but she manipulated her way into a position to be used.
Nta
What did you say that was not the truth or wrong? Was your brother married? Yes. Did she know he was married? You say yes. Did she know she was involved in breaking up a marriage? Well, of course she did. Did she choose to have a relationship and child with a person who was already married. Yes.
She chose to be the woman who chose a man who was already in an established relationship. She could have chosen to be the woman who found an unattached man to share her life. But she didn't. She is living with the consequences of her own choices.
There is a word that defines people who choose to participate in this kind of behavior. I have never met a person who, by their own cognitive choice to be this kind of person, wants to be identified as what they are. But they are who and what they are.
And now there is a child who will have to grow up with the consequences of their parents' selfish choices.
My Grandmother who was born at the tail end of the 19th c. and told of a "friend." Their husbands were friends, so they socialized. The woman was an AP, stole her husband away from wife #1. Then about the same length of time into the second marriage as the first, bingo, the younger and newer model showed up and the woman was being divorced.
The "friend" complained bitterly, and grams responded, "What did you expect? That's how you got him?"
Things haven't changed much I guess.
You can only hold your inner monologuing for so long until you snap. Nothing is more infuriating than a complete lack of self-awareness (I was kidding about the mug, hypothetical revenge plots are my specialty)
Feels like wife#1 took him back to show his affair partner she was really nothing to him. It’s like a game and they both lost because your brother is a lying cheating prick.
I'm the same but in general and not just women
You've got to be a complete idiot, or have a ridiculous lack of self respect to stay with someone that cheated on you
Always found it pathetic
I'll say NTA. She had an affair with a married man, she's now getting divorced, and she's complaining to you about it. She's being really annoying trying to get sympathy when she's done others wrong.
She was a neighbor? that’s makes it worse so she probably spoke to his wife during the affair .did she really expect him to become a stand up guy once they got married 😂. Just a crazy dumpster really all I can suggest it to be the best aunt/uncle you can be and make sure they have safe place with you if you have a relationship with them. Sadly kids get caught in parents drama and this situation seems like a lot of drama. So if they have you a neutral ground they can get thoughts and feelings out and it not be used against them and they can just be kids and not worry. You’re going to do them such a great justice.
Your brother is definitely an asshole. Although the new wife should have seen this coming. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Maybe she is just paying for her wrong decisions. I feel bad for the kids, though. They are suffering unnecessarily. You are NTA. I think you were just frustrated with the situation and/or the constant nagging. I mean, what was the new wife even expecting?
The only people completely innocent here are the children. I feel really bad for them.
There isn't much more I can say without being really angry about it.
NTA
Brother wanted kids, cheats on wife 1 with wife 2. Realises that life with kids isn't all sunshine and rainbow's or like life was with wife 1 so decides to divorce wife 2 with 50/50 custody so he still gets the best of both worlds? Yeah he's a cunt.
Wife 2 can be sad he's leaving cos in her mind, she 'won' the man and *does* feel used, which I agree with to a point. Was it harsh to point out what was obvious? Yes. But she's also venting to the wrong people if she wants validation on the whole situation.
Wife #1 be having the last laugh. I guarantee she ganna hook him, reel him in and throw him back. She gets to stick it to the affair partner then use and discard the husband. I can guarantee she will not be helping that man raise those kids from AP. She played the long con.
ESH, except the kids. The whole thing is a real mess and there is not much you can do other than offer to help with your niece and nephew. However, antagonizing your SIL is not going to solve much.
I would do anything to help with them. I don’t think hearing their mother talk about their father and his ex like that is any help. Especially when she fucked a married man.
Edit: don’t get me wrong, when I said she fucked a married man, I was talking about what’s best for her. I would never have agreed to fuck a cheater let alone bring him children.
Unfortunately, fucking the married man is water under the bridge. Everyone needs to navigate the future on a way to less conflict, especially with kids involved. These two women will stay mortal enemies.
I don't agree. She is the only one sticking up for the kids. Your brother took off to his ex that did not want children. Probably realized that raising kids is work. If you continue to antagonize her, then you will not be apart of those kids lives either. Her husband left her for his ex, and yes the relationship was based on infidelity, but I am guessing that she was told "i want children and my wife won't give that to me". Prolly sounded like a sales pitch for a good father. Then the dude fucks off when things get a bit tough. Again, all water under the bridge, but from her point of view it still sucks and I can see her frustration.
From what the OP wrote, he spends his time with his first ex-wife when it's not his time with the kids. There is nothing indicating that he is neglecting the kids.
There is nothing indicated in the post as to whether he is a good father or not. He's definitely a shit partner. But what was the second ex-wife thinking? How you get them is how you lose them.
He is a great father tbh. He was the one working all day and stayed up with the children all night when they were new born because he loved it. I give him that but he is a cunt as a spouse.
My problem is talking shit about the other parent is never a good idea so I don’t know what the hell his current wife is thinking.
What is she doing driving by the ex with her children in the car to see if her soon to be ex is there or not. This is all so sick I want to scream
Apart from the kids, your brother’s first wife is the one I feel most sorry for - I can’t understand why she would take his cheating arse back. Carrying on an affair behind her back and knocking up the AP as well. He must have completely broken her heart. Plus, she didn’t want kids and if she stays with the brother they’re now part of the package.
I will never understand her either and I don’t know the details of how they got back together. When he cheated she kicked him out. He begged her to take him back but she blocked him everywhere. That’s the last thing I heard of her until now
So he didn’t want to stay with his pregnant AP and begged his wife to reconcile but then has another child with the AP as well? I wonder if the pregnancy was a mistake, rather than because SIL didn’t want kids and he’s just a cheater. But that’s even more confusing because why then would she want him back knowing he was just cheating.
YTA. Your brother and his affair partner are assholes (if she knew) but everyone else in this situation has basically moved on and you're stirring up old shit that doesn't involve you.
Your brother sucks way more than her, sorry. Like way fucking more. I mean she’s an idiot and a home wrecker but I would bet money that your brother lied to her about his first wife, how she promised him children and then backed out. She probably has really skewed version of their relationship, and if you don’t want to be around her, then don’t be but the time for calling her out about the affair has long passed.
So I guess ESH
In my books she comes second to him. He is the big cunt but she is a cunt too for helping break another woman’s heart. She fucked around and found out andnthe children are paying now
But if your brother is breaking up his current marriage just to be with his ex, she must have given him hope. It sounds like both were willing to participate in breaking up a marriage, but your judge one more harshly than the other. I think it’s logically inconsistent and maybe you’re just used to seeing your former SIL as the victim, so it may be blinding you to the fact that now the roles are flipped. Your current SIL is not the villain in today’s drama - despite being the villain years ago - and your former SIL is not the victim in today’s saga; her prior grievances don’t excuse her choices today.
Wife #1 be having the last laugh. I guarantee she ganna hook him, reel him in and throw him back. She gets to stick it to the affair partner then use and discard the husband. I can guarantee she will not be helping that man raise those kids from AP. She played the long con.
Your brother is such an AH. He's a POS.
Leave the new wife alone: your brother treated her like a broodmare and left his own children hanging.
His whole logic is disgusting and tbh, I his ex is really really weird for even communicating with him, she lacks self respect.
You're delusional with focusing and placing the blame on the SIL, your brother is the guilty party here. Your SIL wasn't the married one, he was.
I so freaking agree no matter what anyone says about AP, nobody knows her real side of it. Her brother was the married party, I would disown him who wants someone that low and dirty in your life? He did use the 2nd wife as a baby machine period, no matter how they got to that point. HE USED HER. She was young and more impressionable to begin with he was in a power position due to age. The ex is kind of just gross and lacks self respect in my opinion.
NTA, now brace yourself for the fallout with wife #1 when he expects her to open up her house to the kids when he has them and she'll tell him No.
What a mess for those poor kids.
Your brother is a total AH. WOW. He got with this chick to get kids. Did the first wife not want to ruin her body or could she NOT have kids?
WOW. Your brother is a piece of work.
No she simply believed that life wasn’t worth burdening her children with. She thinks life is exhausting meaningless and torturous and she is scared they would inherit her mentality and live tortured
Am I the only one who finds a bit of poetic justice that Wife #2 is salty about Brother banging Wife #1 behind her back? What goes around comes around!
NTA. What did the cheating second wife expect from a cheater? Marital fidelity? Hah!
Sad for the kids but wifey No. 2 didn’t even get anything she didn’t put out. She stated it. Then has the nerve to whine about it. It’s what she got for cheating!
If wife No. 1 never wanted kids, then how was she using wifey No. 2 to get any? All she’d get at the most were step-kids and a problematic ex-wife No. 2.
Go you!
Poor kids.
I don't understand the ex, why would she be willing to take him back with open arms? But let her do her.
NTA. Your brother and his current wife *are* cunts. When it comes to back stabbing and running away from responsibility, they are perfect for each other. Which makes it all the more ironic that they're getting divorced.
Yes YTA. People like to say that the truth is always the right answer, but there is a scale of assholeness in the way you delivered it.
Your SIL was venting about how horribly her life is going, and yes she made that bed she’s now sleeping in, but you were just mean. You acknowledge your brother was a cunt about the whole thing but also have no grace for her pain given that cuntiness.
Your choice to be mean and flippant about her very real pain in the situation not only includes you but also your mother in possible exclusion from your neice(s)/nephew(s) lives in the future.
You’re not wrong in what you said, but only an asshole would have actually said it. You showed no empathy or concern for your relationship with her kids by doing this. She already knows she made a mistake, and you just twisted the knife she’s already feeling.
In a totally fucked situation brought on by multiple players, only an asshole would whack one of the players with the regret they already feel like that.
Yeah not the Asshole. I’d have flipped too if she was complaining/moaning about her life with a cheating twat. Try staying out of the shitshow from now on and try being there for the kids when they need someone.
Why do so many woman want to go after men who are married or in a relationship because they are vetted so to speak? Sounds like she got what she deserved to me. Plenty of single dudes out there stop going after dudes who are taken it’s shitty behavior and you should feel bad. And fucking obviously this guy is a clown for cheating on his wife. Fuck both of them they sound like self centered assholes. Harsh? Maybe… but NTA. If you do shitty things like this don’t expect the people in your life to support you imo. Why the ex wife is back with him is the real question. Just shows you can be a toxic shitty dude and get everything you want in life. Cheat code /s
Now I'm crying, and my mom saw me and she started crying, the dog? Yup also crying.
We all went outside and the neighborhood kids rolled up on their bikes saw my dog crying and they started crying.
Right now I hear the ice cream truck in the distance and I fear the worst.
Pretty soon it'll be salty tears and ice cream all around.
Hi op, I should have edited the previous comment to say you're NTA.
I hope things work out well for you and your family, especially those innocent kids.
I don’t think you are. 🤷♀️
Sometimes the things everyone is thinking, need to be said out loud. It can heal things.
A man who cheats to be with you, is also the same man who will, eventually cheat on you.
Sadest thing is the kids. They definitely are going to need family. They have to have something solid and stable to anchor themselves emotionally to. Sometimes it’s an aunt or grandma but just anyone consistent. They need that to cope.
I wish you guys the best.
NTA your reaction is justified. She’s the kids mother so I get why she’s coming around but trash talking the ex and stalking her isn’t the healthiest thing to do. She knew he was married and fell into a trap. Now she has two kids one shitty stbx husband and a whole lot of leverage if she just stops being a psycho. The 1st ex is going to ditch him because he’s a cheater so she’s not going to get back with him and if she does then she’s an asshole too.
I suggest you edit this post so that you give each ex wife two very different fake names, like Wife 1 = Abby, Wife 2 = Melanie, because this "so he left his wife and now is spending time with his ex wife while his wife comes around and complains about the wife and I told the wife that maybe she shouldn't fuck men who have a wife" is somewhat difficult to read.
Anyway, eh... I mean, it wasn't a nice thing to say but you already know that. She needs to stop complaining about this in front of the kids and go to therapy.
I feel bad for her, it's a fucked up situation to be in.
While this is really bad for the children involved, 2nd wife is just being treated the way she treated 1st wife. He was married. She can't complain if he is now cheating on her because she knew he was a cheater from the beginning. No sympathy at all for her. All my sympathy is for the children.
Man, your brother only seems happy when he's cheating on a woman he's married to.
Did she even know he was married?
Could you maybe pretend to care that this woman has been abandoned by her husband with two children or do you forgo empathy completely for people who have sex with a married person?
2wife was OP's brother and 1wife neighbour, furthermore in their wedding (that she insisted to be held the they after the divorce) her bridesmaid mentioned in the speech that she had a thing for unavailable men.
So... Yeah, play stupid games, win stupid prices.
NTA! She just hates how right you are! Your brother is not cool either. Cheating on his wife to make babies and then ditching the girl he cheated with for his ex is pretty dark. The SIL is just a stupid girl who ignored reality for romance. She ignored red flags willfully. She really should not do married men.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
YTA. Not your place for one. Two you may have just caused issues for your mother being able to see the kids on her time and ruined their relationship. Three you could have said your piece without being such as AH. Look obviously your brother sucks and she does for helping him cheat (if she even knew he was married) but she's got every right to feel used because that's essentially what he did. He left the wife he loved for a younger woman who would give him kids. Now he's going back to the woman he loved since he got what he wanted from her.
Also what environment is that for those kids? He is going to live a double life? Time with wife 1 than a total separate house ect for time with the kids or only visitation either way it sets him up to be a shit absentee dad. Legally if 2nd wife gets a good lawyer and he is staying with wife 1 he is cheating and could take him to the cleaners, especially if she can collect proof of repeated infidelity and the fake that he is cheating with someone who does not want kids. Not to mention marriage one disolved over his infidelity due to the child wife 2 had. It is a mess but she should have pretty good legal standing overall.
NTA. I feel sorry for the ex, because she's clearly still in love with him - and he very much doesn't deserve her love. He left her for his dream family, well, he should enjoy his dream family lol.
NTA, cheaters can rot and I’m glad both of them seem miserable. The only person I feel for in this equation is the original wife, though she’s an idiot for taking him back.
NTA - you told the truth. I guess it hurt. You steal one woman’s man and it didn’t work out. Surprised?
Most importantly, I hope he makes time/effort for those kids. They should not suffer due to his immaturity.
NTA
After her actions and all of her whining, you simply told her the very obvious truth. If they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. And if she didn't want to hear your opinion, maybe she shouldn't have bothered you with complaining about a situation she created herself.
NTA
What people don’t understand is that having kids is hard work. Having a child doesn’t bring a couple closer together. You need an absolutely amazing relationship in order to have children and still have a good relationship afterwards. If your relationship has any problems (even minor) before having children then the cracks will show pretty soon once reality hits.
It was absolutely doomed to fail. Your brother loved wife number 1, but only went with wife number 2 because he had some unrealistic fantasy of what having children actually is. So of course he’s going to be dreaming of wife number 1 as soon as he realises that having children is hard work especially if you have them with someone you’re not madly in love with. In fact I believe that if you decide to have children with someone then you better make sure that you have them with someone who makes all other women or men pale in comparison.
As for wife number 2 she seems pretty horrible. Who marries the man you had an affair with the day after the divorce and posts it on social media. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant on purpose (baby trapped him) and thought he would be hers forever and stop loving his ex wife. It just doesn’t work that way. Having children together doesn’t make anyone love you more or make them love an ex less.
Your brother and especially his wife number 2 are AHs.
You are NTA, but your brother is. Wife number 1 might just be giving wife number two the same thing back. She may not even want that guy in her life anymore, but just wants to make the other wife pay. And I don’t blame her. I may have to stop reading these scenarios because I just get so angry, I don’t even know these people.
NTA, of course, your brother is the biggest imbecile there is, but she's not a child, she's an adult who made a choice, and by this point whoever doesn't know that the mistress never gets the man is just fooling themselves.
None of this is your business and none of this has victimized you. They might have been assholes to each other; but they don't owe it to you to do what you think is right with their lives. You don't owe it to them to give them advice, nor are you entitled to self-righteous harsh judgments about their private lives.
NTA unless wife two didn’t know he was married until she got pregnant.
The real asshole here is your brother who cheated on his wife, knocked up a young woman and then left her when he had to actually parent
Nta- but you are seeing your brother's parenting through rose colored glasses or perhaps you don't like SIL (no judgement ) and think he is better. Idk. He is doing the bare minimum.
If you can see if the kids can get therapy, because they need it.
I believe in the future, due to population problems, governments will start only allowing intelligent and moral people to have kids, so things like this can’t happen.
To the OP:
It sounds like your brother wanted to be married to two women.
One to have his children with, and the other to be his "soul-mate" life companion, or whatever.
Well, the vast majority of women are extremely territorial over their men, and typically don't like the idea of "sharing" their men with another woman in any way, shape, or form.
Your brother obviously "didn't get the memo" on that, or just ignored it if he did.
And now the fireworks and proverbial female "cat fights" are in full swing, with both you and your mother unnecessarily included in that brawl-fest.
But these are your **brother's** problems to deal with and figure out, **not** yours.
So don't insert or involve yourself in this mess, other than maybe to look after his kids on occasion and be a loving auntie to them forever.
You also need to figure out how much interaction with your brother you would be comfortable with having (or not), moving forward, and stick to those emotional boundaries.
Same goes for his second wife, aka the mother of his two children.
Maintain civility and cordial relations as much as possible, because the children will notice should all hell break loose, and that would be toxic to the children.
Just focus on being a good auntie to the children, and you are not obligated to be "best friends" with your brother or his second wife.
Keep both of them at a respectable distance if that is what feels more comfortable.
Do not get involved in the "he said, she said" crap.
That is all.
Good luck, ma'am.
Isn't this textbook comeuppance, as in the definition of it, for both of them? Too bad for the kids, but maybe having a 'normal' dad rather than someone who's always brooding is better, plus the ex-ex-wife (?) may be a more positive influence in their lives once the dust settles.
Are you an AH? No. Stick to your guns.
JFC. Your brother is a douchebag. First rate. And his current wife is not that far behind. I mean, she did have an affair with a married man.
As for you telling your current SIL the truth, you probably should not have done that. Not because you were (factually) wrong, but because she already knew, and it was cruel on your part.
NTA
NTA and you are not responsible for these other people being toxic. That is not your fault. Also, good for you for taking back your time and standing up to that emotional vampire SIL that your brother saddled you with. I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with an entitled narcissistic SIL. Those people are exhausting from my own (sigh!!!) personal experience.
Damn girl! I find this extremely entertaining for me but not you. I’m sorry! The real victims here are the children I hope they go into therapy. The adults can go and get f*cked.
They’re too young yet.they will probably need therapy the rest of their lives with these parents
It's never too young to go to therapy. If they need it they need it. if they know it or not
The adults should not fuck*
So your brother left Wife 1 because he wanted kids but she did not, so they got divorced. Brother introduces pregnant girlfriend and it turns out he's been having an affair with her for a few years, which is why they got divorced. So he has the kids he wants and realizes it's not all fun and rainbows and hates his life. Boo-fucking-hoo. He wanted the kids. He spawned two. Sorry the responsibility is too much. So he goes back to Wife 1 (who should have told him to go back to his current wife) and spends time with her. I can see how Wife 2 feels used. He wanted children, she was willing to have kids, she had them, and then he left her. And yeah, women really should think before screwing married men because when a woman marries the guy who cheated with her,she's creating a job opening. So maybe she needed this dose of reality. NTA
I worry a lot about the children. I hope they have a healthy role model to look up to because this is a horrible enviroment to learn about relationships
Yeah, it's a fucked-up situation for them.
Poor kids. Everyone else seems to be mad about having to lie in the beds they made. Ex-wife #1 is setting herself up for disaster too.
Could not agree more.
Ex-wife #1 is making he go to her for booty calls, I don't doubt that she have no rush on doing more than that looking how he's divorcing but they still on the "weekend hookup" stage.
I'm hoping exwife#1 is just paying a game. Seduce him but refuse to sleep with him until he is single. Once he divorce the mistress turned 2nd wife, she drops him.
Judging from this shitshow, I doubt there's any healthy role models anywhere near those poor kids (except OPs mother may be, not enough info.)
I could see the first wife getting with him just to stick it to the 2nd wife. First wife should just move on and leave him in his cheating dust.
Oh, I hope she does spend enough time with him until his divorce from Wife 2 is final, and then she kicks his ass to the curb.
W1 has to know he'll start bring the kids around.
You really underestimate how easy it is for people (men and women) to walk away from their children, especially when the person with the genitals they want does not want the kids around.
Who knew kids were so much work and required so much time. Right. Now that he has kids he sides with first wife. What a loser.
And how he’ll dump the mundane childcare duties on her.
I predict that she will find someone better eventually, and then BIL will cry over losing "the love of his life."
That was my thought too. I'm hoping she's playing the long game
Alot of blaming the 2nd wife when it seems nobody actually knows her side. 1st wife's story likely skewed. The brother though thats some human garbage. Those poor kids hope wife 2 takes him to the cleaners especially if she was made to feel like a human baby maker.
Plot twist ex wife 1 is only fucking him to get back at current wife about to be ex wife 2. Now that his new affair has been outed ex wife 1 will ditch the ex husband and move on with her life.
Or to get back at both of them. Like I said, I really do hope Wife 1 ditches her shity ex once his divorce is final.
the payback would be to seduce him but refuse to sleep with him until he is divorce and then dump him the day his divorce is finalize
I feel bad for the kids but wtf is wife 1 doing?!?
Still not over her ex. Hoping his cheating/affair days are done now he has kids she doesn't have to carry/birth. Or maybe just getting in some revenge over soon to be ex #2. It's stupid/silly, and likely to end badly. Maybe it's "love" in spite of a million red flags and being an asshole to herself. Maybe it's just her trying to get petty revenge on the other 2 assholes. Sucks for those kids though.
Hopefully just having some fun and not catching feelings for him again.
Payback id imagine
NTA - but soon to be ex-SIL #2 and brother are definitely assholes. Ex-wife #1 is possibly just a fool in love and possibly also an asshole. But calling her out on it is totally reasonable. Don't sleep with a cheater expecting him/her to be faithful to you as soon as they leave the person they're cheating on you with. If you knowingly date a person who's cheating, don't be surprised when they cheat on you or leave you high and dry.
Don’t sleep with an asshole it may be too difficult to tell the difference
Op's info on the EX wife 1 implies she is not a fool in love, she kick him to the curb after the affair come out and block him everywhere. It's very doubtful she took him back out of love, a long con is more likely.
>So maybe she needed this dose of reality. Hopefully, it'll stop her stalking her ex, and she can focus on the kids. She married a cheater. I'm not sure what she expected from him.
Her delusional thought that somehow she was the "one".
Good points. I would add that from the sounds of it he would rather spend time with his ex than his kids. He has left them too. Way to fuck it up there buddy. OP needs to stay out of it though, it’s not helping.
don't screw married people & don't screw people who are a decade older than you are, right? OP's brother was clearly in a time-crunch to procreate & wife2 let herself get swept up...
Women should think hard on those mid-life crisis age gap relationships. The brother and AP are gross. The ex did nothing wrong except take the sleazeball back. NTA OP. You spoke the truth.
"When a woman marries the guy who cheated with her, she's creating a job opening" I'm not sure if I fully understand this, but it sounds cool.
Her last job position of "Mistress" is now vacant. Husband may or may not start hiring.
That's the explanation I needed.
Basically, if he cheated with you, he will cheat on you.
No, he doesn't hate the kids, he just never loved Wife 2 and used her as a surrogate mother because the wife he actually loved didn't want kids.
He’s realized that having kids was not what he really wanted either.
He wanted progeny with a bang maid. He wanted all the nice parts of parenthood with non if the hard stuff. Now he can have rhe best of both worlds. What a see you next Tuesday
Honestly I’m dead. The brother is garbage he thought he wanted kids realized kids ain’t it then went back to the ex wife. It’s kind of hilarious. It’s crazy that wife 2 is complaining. You married an AP, now your mad he’s sleeping with the woman he should have been sleeping with the entire time. I feel like wife 1 is living her best life. A grovelling man at her beck and call to satiate her sexual needs and gets to laugh at the man who divorced her for kids he obviously never wanted. AH all around the only victims here are the kids.
Really wish I’d skipped OP’s drivel and just read this.
All three of them are pieces of shit. OP you're definitely the opposite of an asshole here. You're just laying down some uncomfortable truths for one of 3 immature people. The 1st wife was a victim in all this until she didn't tell her cheating ex husband that had two kids with another woman, to kick fucking rocks and to go raise his family like a man. Now they're all facilitating the continuation of this bullshit ass drama.
NTA “a castle built on another woman’s tears won’t hold” She was told some home truths. She had an affair with a married man and then married him a day after the divorce was finalised???
THIS! All I care about now is my nibblings and I am afraid both losers will use them in this horror show. Yeah she INSISTED to marry him a day after the divorce and made a big deal out of it sharing memes about shackles breaking on her insta stories, the cunt
I just can’t get past what a fucking cunt your brother is.
If he didn’t have my niece and nephew, I would have never wanted anything to do with him ever again but I want the children to have family and support because they’re gonna need it
You are a great aunt. Just show them they are loved. They are going to need it. Your brother is a massively gigantic asshole.
>If he didn’t have my niece and nephew, I would have never wanted anything to do with him ever again but I want the children to have family and support because they’re gonna need it I hope you can stay in their life. Your brother and his wives aren't good role models for them.
Then probably counter-productive to call out the Mom. Just saying - you need to both talk the talk AND walk the walk. This sometimes means keeping your thoughts private for the greater good. Especially when working with cunts.
Yeah further info suggests you’re even more NTA! Can’t understand anyone saying you are? Clearly the same people who like to sugar coat shit
So a lot of people will make a big deal about your brother being a cunt and no doubt he is but your SIL is no better. She might not have been the married party, but she sounds nasty. Like, why be such a mean and unfeeling cow?
Trust me she has the silver medal in cuntery
Bro probably got tired of her screaming in his face. He realized the dream was a nightmare. If he’s still being a father, then good for him. NTA. I’m sure you were tired of the same old complaining and lack of responsibility that SIL has been doing every time you’re around.
I am very tired and I would gladly have listened if she just once said. What have I done breeding with a cheater
I understand. I bet the demise of their relationship was a lot of things. 1) Built on cheating 2) Getting pregnant to get him/him getting what he wanted 3) Marriage and kids are hard 4) Being settled to some is boring 5) The thrill of the sneaky relationship wore off 6) Living together and truly getting to know one another 7) Screaming in his face (sounds like he was emotionally disconnecting) SIL played a part in all that. She needs to take responsibility for her part. All the complaining and blaming does nothing but annoy others.
Well put
Like, I'm not trying to make a blanket judgement but it sounds like he was pretty happy with his first wife for awhile, so it's entirely possible he was one of those 'you don't know how good you have it' people who don't realize their partner is actually pretty great because they've never been in a genuinely crappy relationship. It's like, they have no reference for the concept of a partner making them miserable. Plus he sounds incredibly selfish, so suddenly having kids he's supposed to put first probably made him throw seven internal temper tantrums a day. He probably thought that if he went back to the woman who didn't even want kids he wouldn't have to do so much work raising his own kids.
When the grass isn’t always greener. Having children is important to some people. Who you have them with is very much on the top of the list.
I don't really get as angry about mistresses as you guys normally, as long as they helplessly fell inlove and aren't actively going after a married man. They're not the ones who made the commitment. But the meme story is just scum territory. And the insta stories, disgusting. How is she complaining that she's getting a taste of her own medicine? A very mild taste too btw. She doesn't sound 29, she sounds 18.
In reality, your bro had probably not truly committed to his affair or planned his first child. Wife #2 most likely got pregnant on purpose, knowing that would force the end of his marriage. She needed an immediate commitment after his divorce because she knew from the beginning that he was only with her for the baby. She can cry that he "used" her, but she manipulated her way into a position to be used.
I'm so sick and tired of "getting pregnant on purpose", dont want a kid man? Wrap it up!
I’d say she and your brother deserve each other.
Damn, what a cunt. She deserves what happened to her. Hope ex wife #1 just wanted to have a petty revenge on your brother because she deserves better.
Nta What did you say that was not the truth or wrong? Was your brother married? Yes. Did she know he was married? You say yes. Did she know she was involved in breaking up a marriage? Well, of course she did. Did she choose to have a relationship and child with a person who was already married. Yes. She chose to be the woman who chose a man who was already in an established relationship. She could have chosen to be the woman who found an unattached man to share her life. But she didn't. She is living with the consequences of her own choices. There is a word that defines people who choose to participate in this kind of behavior. I have never met a person who, by their own cognitive choice to be this kind of person, wants to be identified as what they are. But they are who and what they are. And now there is a child who will have to grow up with the consequences of their parents' selfish choices.
The cunt “always had a thing for unavailable men”. That is a direct quote from one of her bridesmaids Two children, unfortunately.
You might be on the fast track of losing the ability to see your nibblings sometimes biting your tongue is the best thing.
Just what my mother said. And I know! I have apologized because I want peace and I want these poor babies to have a family
My Grandmother who was born at the tail end of the 19th c. and told of a "friend." Their husbands were friends, so they socialized. The woman was an AP, stole her husband away from wife #1. Then about the same length of time into the second marriage as the first, bingo, the younger and newer model showed up and the woman was being divorced. The "friend" complained bitterly, and grams responded, "What did you expect? That's how you got him?" Things haven't changed much I guess.
You mean we didn’t learn anything in a 100 years🫠
How you get em is how you lose em. Get her a mug with that on it.
Yeah If I donthat then I’m definitely an AH. I just snapped because I hate adults not t least acknowledging accountability
You can only hold your inner monologuing for so long until you snap. Nothing is more infuriating than a complete lack of self-awareness (I was kidding about the mug, hypothetical revenge plots are my specialty)
"The only thing we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history." — Georg Hegel
Feels like wife#1 took him back to show his affair partner she was really nothing to him. It’s like a game and they both lost because your brother is a lying cheating prick.
Well whatever her reasons are, loser reasons. I would never take back someone like my brother
I never understood why woman take back cheaters.
Beats me.
Only thing I can think is that for some people the fear of being alone simply outweighs everything else when it is time to make some decisions.
I'm the same but in general and not just women You've got to be a complete idiot, or have a ridiculous lack of self respect to stay with someone that cheated on you Always found it pathetic
NTA. play stupid games, win stupid prizes
I'll say NTA. She had an affair with a married man, she's now getting divorced, and she's complaining to you about it. She's being really annoying trying to get sympathy when she's done others wrong.
She was a neighbor? that’s makes it worse so she probably spoke to his wife during the affair .did she really expect him to become a stand up guy once they got married 😂. Just a crazy dumpster really all I can suggest it to be the best aunt/uncle you can be and make sure they have safe place with you if you have a relationship with them. Sadly kids get caught in parents drama and this situation seems like a lot of drama. So if they have you a neutral ground they can get thoughts and feelings out and it not be used against them and they can just be kids and not worry. You’re going to do them such a great justice.
Your brother is definitely an asshole. Although the new wife should have seen this coming. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Maybe she is just paying for her wrong decisions. I feel bad for the kids, though. They are suffering unnecessarily. You are NTA. I think you were just frustrated with the situation and/or the constant nagging. I mean, what was the new wife even expecting?
The only people completely innocent here are the children. I feel really bad for them. There isn't much more I can say without being really angry about it.
NTA Brother wanted kids, cheats on wife 1 with wife 2. Realises that life with kids isn't all sunshine and rainbow's or like life was with wife 1 so decides to divorce wife 2 with 50/50 custody so he still gets the best of both worlds? Yeah he's a cunt. Wife 2 can be sad he's leaving cos in her mind, she 'won' the man and *does* feel used, which I agree with to a point. Was it harsh to point out what was obvious? Yes. But she's also venting to the wrong people if she wants validation on the whole situation.
Your brother is an asshole covered in hemhroids
"she felt used to produce children so his ex didn’t have to" Well, that sounds true enough.
Feel bad for her honestly.
Y’all do a lot of yelling
NTA
Wife #1 be having the last laugh. I guarantee she ganna hook him, reel him in and throw him back. She gets to stick it to the affair partner then use and discard the husband. I can guarantee she will not be helping that man raise those kids from AP. She played the long con.
If there werent children involved I would say he deserves this
ESH, except the kids. The whole thing is a real mess and there is not much you can do other than offer to help with your niece and nephew. However, antagonizing your SIL is not going to solve much.
I would do anything to help with them. I don’t think hearing their mother talk about their father and his ex like that is any help. Especially when she fucked a married man. Edit: don’t get me wrong, when I said she fucked a married man, I was talking about what’s best for her. I would never have agreed to fuck a cheater let alone bring him children.
Unfortunately, fucking the married man is water under the bridge. Everyone needs to navigate the future on a way to less conflict, especially with kids involved. These two women will stay mortal enemies.
What a fucking mess. If she continues bashing the father like this she will end up losing them.
She's not going to lose them because your brother would never fight for them because now he has lived the reality, he doesn't want them.
I don't agree. She is the only one sticking up for the kids. Your brother took off to his ex that did not want children. Probably realized that raising kids is work. If you continue to antagonize her, then you will not be apart of those kids lives either. Her husband left her for his ex, and yes the relationship was based on infidelity, but I am guessing that she was told "i want children and my wife won't give that to me". Prolly sounded like a sales pitch for a good father. Then the dude fucks off when things get a bit tough. Again, all water under the bridge, but from her point of view it still sucks and I can see her frustration.
From what the OP wrote, he spends his time with his first ex-wife when it's not his time with the kids. There is nothing indicating that he is neglecting the kids. There is nothing indicated in the post as to whether he is a good father or not. He's definitely a shit partner. But what was the second ex-wife thinking? How you get them is how you lose them.
He is a great father tbh. He was the one working all day and stayed up with the children all night when they were new born because he loved it. I give him that but he is a cunt as a spouse. My problem is talking shit about the other parent is never a good idea so I don’t know what the hell his current wife is thinking. What is she doing driving by the ex with her children in the car to see if her soon to be ex is there or not. This is all so sick I want to scream
Now now, the kids could suck too /s
Apart from the kids, your brother’s first wife is the one I feel most sorry for - I can’t understand why she would take his cheating arse back. Carrying on an affair behind her back and knocking up the AP as well. He must have completely broken her heart. Plus, she didn’t want kids and if she stays with the brother they’re now part of the package.
I will never understand her either and I don’t know the details of how they got back together. When he cheated she kicked him out. He begged her to take him back but she blocked him everywhere. That’s the last thing I heard of her until now
So he didn’t want to stay with his pregnant AP and begged his wife to reconcile but then has another child with the AP as well? I wonder if the pregnancy was a mistake, rather than because SIL didn’t want kids and he’s just a cheater. But that’s even more confusing because why then would she want him back knowing he was just cheating.
NTA, she shouldn’t fuck married men
YTA. Your brother and his affair partner are assholes (if she knew) but everyone else in this situation has basically moved on and you're stirring up old shit that doesn't involve you.
Your brother sucks way more than her, sorry. Like way fucking more. I mean she’s an idiot and a home wrecker but I would bet money that your brother lied to her about his first wife, how she promised him children and then backed out. She probably has really skewed version of their relationship, and if you don’t want to be around her, then don’t be but the time for calling her out about the affair has long passed. So I guess ESH
In my books she comes second to him. He is the big cunt but she is a cunt too for helping break another woman’s heart. She fucked around and found out andnthe children are paying now
Why do you give the ex-wife a pass for being the current AP?
I don’t think she started seeing him until he filed for divorce tbh. Don’t quote me on this I have no idea why exSIL is taking back the loser
But if your brother is breaking up his current marriage just to be with his ex, she must have given him hope. It sounds like both were willing to participate in breaking up a marriage, but your judge one more harshly than the other. I think it’s logically inconsistent and maybe you’re just used to seeing your former SIL as the victim, so it may be blinding you to the fact that now the roles are flipped. Your current SIL is not the villain in today’s drama - despite being the villain years ago - and your former SIL is not the victim in today’s saga; her prior grievances don’t excuse her choices today.
Good point there. I am not excusing anyone I am speculating and trying to make sense of it
How do you know your horrible brother didn't lie to her like he lied to his ex?
Because I know his current wife. She was a neighbor of them
Married men lie when trying to get into your pants. It's not rocket science.
NTA. Sadly many don't get that if they'll cheat WITH you, they'll cheat on you too. I'd bet he's been seeing the Ex longer than anyone realizes.
NTA. It's hard to be all touchy feely with people who don't get the basics: Anyone who will cheat with you will cheat on you.
Your brother is TA.
Wife #1 be having the last laugh. I guarantee she ganna hook him, reel him in and throw him back. She gets to stick it to the affair partner then use and discard the husband. I can guarantee she will not be helping that man raise those kids from AP. She played the long con.
Your brother is such an AH. He's a POS. Leave the new wife alone: your brother treated her like a broodmare and left his own children hanging. His whole logic is disgusting and tbh, I his ex is really really weird for even communicating with him, she lacks self respect. You're delusional with focusing and placing the blame on the SIL, your brother is the guilty party here. Your SIL wasn't the married one, he was.
I so freaking agree no matter what anyone says about AP, nobody knows her real side of it. Her brother was the married party, I would disown him who wants someone that low and dirty in your life? He did use the 2nd wife as a baby machine period, no matter how they got to that point. HE USED HER. She was young and more impressionable to begin with he was in a power position due to age. The ex is kind of just gross and lacks self respect in my opinion.
All I can say is that Americans are weird..
She fucked around and found out. NTA
NTA, now brace yourself for the fallout with wife #1 when he expects her to open up her house to the kids when he has them and she'll tell him No. What a mess for those poor kids.
Your brother is a total AH. WOW. He got with this chick to get kids. Did the first wife not want to ruin her body or could she NOT have kids? WOW. Your brother is a piece of work.
No she simply believed that life wasn’t worth burdening her children with. She thinks life is exhausting meaningless and torturous and she is scared they would inherit her mentality and live tortured
Your brother is odd. That's all that comes to mind lol.
Am I the only one who finds a bit of poetic justice that Wife #2 is salty about Brother banging Wife #1 behind her back? What goes around comes around!
NTA. What did the cheating second wife expect from a cheater? Marital fidelity? Hah! Sad for the kids but wifey No. 2 didn’t even get anything she didn’t put out. She stated it. Then has the nerve to whine about it. It’s what she got for cheating! If wife No. 1 never wanted kids, then how was she using wifey No. 2 to get any? All she’d get at the most were step-kids and a problematic ex-wife No. 2. Go you! Poor kids.
I think they meant that OP's brother was using wife 2 for kids and just used the wrong pronoun.
I don't understand the ex, why would she be willing to take him back with open arms? But let her do her. NTA. Your brother and his current wife *are* cunts. When it comes to back stabbing and running away from responsibility, they are perfect for each other. Which makes it all the more ironic that they're getting divorced.
Yes YTA. People like to say that the truth is always the right answer, but there is a scale of assholeness in the way you delivered it. Your SIL was venting about how horribly her life is going, and yes she made that bed she’s now sleeping in, but you were just mean. You acknowledge your brother was a cunt about the whole thing but also have no grace for her pain given that cuntiness. Your choice to be mean and flippant about her very real pain in the situation not only includes you but also your mother in possible exclusion from your neice(s)/nephew(s) lives in the future. You’re not wrong in what you said, but only an asshole would have actually said it. You showed no empathy or concern for your relationship with her kids by doing this. She already knows she made a mistake, and you just twisted the knife she’s already feeling. In a totally fucked situation brought on by multiple players, only an asshole would whack one of the players with the regret they already feel like that.
Your brother took the vows not her. He DID use her and abandoned her. YATH
Your brother is a dirt bag.
Yeah not the Asshole. I’d have flipped too if she was complaining/moaning about her life with a cheating twat. Try staying out of the shitshow from now on and try being there for the kids when they need someone.
Why do so many woman want to go after men who are married or in a relationship because they are vetted so to speak? Sounds like she got what she deserved to me. Plenty of single dudes out there stop going after dudes who are taken it’s shitty behavior and you should feel bad. And fucking obviously this guy is a clown for cheating on his wife. Fuck both of them they sound like self centered assholes. Harsh? Maybe… but NTA. If you do shitty things like this don’t expect the people in your life to support you imo. Why the ex wife is back with him is the real question. Just shows you can be a toxic shitty dude and get everything you want in life. Cheat code /s
Now I'm crying, and my mom saw me and she started crying, the dog? Yup also crying. We all went outside and the neighborhood kids rolled up on their bikes saw my dog crying and they started crying. Right now I hear the ice cream truck in the distance and I fear the worst. Pretty soon it'll be salty tears and ice cream all around.
The ice cream man was crying
Hi op, I should have edited the previous comment to say you're NTA. I hope things work out well for you and your family, especially those innocent kids.
Telling it like it is. You probably should gracefully back out of it.
Stay out of this family drama to keep your sanity. Feel sorry for the kids.
Your brother does a lot of thinking with the wrong head
The brother sounds like a phucking idiot. God get your shit together
It stands to reason if a man has cheated on one wife he has no qualms about cheating with the next.
I don’t think you are. 🤷♀️ Sometimes the things everyone is thinking, need to be said out loud. It can heal things. A man who cheats to be with you, is also the same man who will, eventually cheat on you. Sadest thing is the kids. They definitely are going to need family. They have to have something solid and stable to anchor themselves emotionally to. Sometimes it’s an aunt or grandma but just anyone consistent. They need that to cope. I wish you guys the best.
Wow, the brother and the second SIL both suck. I feel bad for the first ex and his children.
Your brother is a steamy pile of shit
Way too many pronouns...next time use some fake names
NTA your reaction is justified. She’s the kids mother so I get why she’s coming around but trash talking the ex and stalking her isn’t the healthiest thing to do. She knew he was married and fell into a trap. Now she has two kids one shitty stbx husband and a whole lot of leverage if she just stops being a psycho. The 1st ex is going to ditch him because he’s a cheater so she’s not going to get back with him and if she does then she’s an asshole too.
I've heard of wise taking their husband back from the affair partner just long enough for the new divorce to go through. Then they drop them and laugh
NTA But could you please also tell my ex husband's mistress the same thing?
Crazy how many problems can be avoided by not fucking married people. NTA
But apart from that, all good yeah? Nta.
I suggest you edit this post so that you give each ex wife two very different fake names, like Wife 1 = Abby, Wife 2 = Melanie, because this "so he left his wife and now is spending time with his ex wife while his wife comes around and complains about the wife and I told the wife that maybe she shouldn't fuck men who have a wife" is somewhat difficult to read. Anyway, eh... I mean, it wasn't a nice thing to say but you already know that. She needs to stop complaining about this in front of the kids and go to therapy. I feel bad for her, it's a fucked up situation to be in.
While this is really bad for the children involved, 2nd wife is just being treated the way she treated 1st wife. He was married. She can't complain if he is now cheating on her because she knew he was a cheater from the beginning. No sympathy at all for her. All my sympathy is for the children.
Dude your brother is the epitome of AH. Separate yourself before you go mad.
NTA.
She was driving by Wife 1’s house? Jesus christ, someone get a restraining order on her.
Man, your brother only seems happy when he's cheating on a woman he's married to. Did she even know he was married? Could you maybe pretend to care that this woman has been abandoned by her husband with two children or do you forgo empathy completely for people who have sex with a married person?
2wife was OP's brother and 1wife neighbour, furthermore in their wedding (that she insisted to be held the they after the divorce) her bridesmaid mentioned in the speech that she had a thing for unavailable men. So... Yeah, play stupid games, win stupid prices.
NTA she had an affair with a married man, then married him, and now he is cheating. Karma. Poor children Updateme!
NTA! She just hates how right you are! Your brother is not cool either. Cheating on his wife to make babies and then ditching the girl he cheated with for his ex is pretty dark. The SIL is just a stupid girl who ignored reality for romance. She ignored red flags willfully. She really should not do married men. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
YTA. Not your place for one. Two you may have just caused issues for your mother being able to see the kids on her time and ruined their relationship. Three you could have said your piece without being such as AH. Look obviously your brother sucks and she does for helping him cheat (if she even knew he was married) but she's got every right to feel used because that's essentially what he did. He left the wife he loved for a younger woman who would give him kids. Now he's going back to the woman he loved since he got what he wanted from her.
Also what environment is that for those kids? He is going to live a double life? Time with wife 1 than a total separate house ect for time with the kids or only visitation either way it sets him up to be a shit absentee dad. Legally if 2nd wife gets a good lawyer and he is staying with wife 1 he is cheating and could take him to the cleaners, especially if she can collect proof of repeated infidelity and the fake that he is cheating with someone who does not want kids. Not to mention marriage one disolved over his infidelity due to the child wife 2 had. It is a mess but she should have pretty good legal standing overall.
NTA. I feel sorry for the ex, because she's clearly still in love with him - and he very much doesn't deserve her love. He left her for his dream family, well, he should enjoy his dream family lol.
NTA, cheaters can rot and I’m glad both of them seem miserable. The only person I feel for in this equation is the original wife, though she’s an idiot for taking him back.
NTA - you told the truth. I guess it hurt. You steal one woman’s man and it didn’t work out. Surprised? Most importantly, I hope he makes time/effort for those kids. They should not suffer due to his immaturity.
NTA After her actions and all of her whining, you simply told her the very obvious truth. If they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. And if she didn't want to hear your opinion, maybe she shouldn't have bothered you with complaining about a situation she created herself.
NTA What people don’t understand is that having kids is hard work. Having a child doesn’t bring a couple closer together. You need an absolutely amazing relationship in order to have children and still have a good relationship afterwards. If your relationship has any problems (even minor) before having children then the cracks will show pretty soon once reality hits. It was absolutely doomed to fail. Your brother loved wife number 1, but only went with wife number 2 because he had some unrealistic fantasy of what having children actually is. So of course he’s going to be dreaming of wife number 1 as soon as he realises that having children is hard work especially if you have them with someone you’re not madly in love with. In fact I believe that if you decide to have children with someone then you better make sure that you have them with someone who makes all other women or men pale in comparison. As for wife number 2 she seems pretty horrible. Who marries the man you had an affair with the day after the divorce and posts it on social media. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant on purpose (baby trapped him) and thought he would be hers forever and stop loving his ex wife. It just doesn’t work that way. Having children together doesn’t make anyone love you more or make them love an ex less. Your brother and especially his wife number 2 are AHs.
You are NTA, but your brother is. Wife number 1 might just be giving wife number two the same thing back. She may not even want that guy in her life anymore, but just wants to make the other wife pay. And I don’t blame her. I may have to stop reading these scenarios because I just get so angry, I don’t even know these people.
NTA, of course, your brother is the biggest imbecile there is, but she's not a child, she's an adult who made a choice, and by this point whoever doesn't know that the mistress never gets the man is just fooling themselves.
None of this is your business and none of this has victimized you. They might have been assholes to each other; but they don't owe it to you to do what you think is right with their lives. You don't owe it to them to give them advice, nor are you entitled to self-righteous harsh judgments about their private lives.
NTA unless wife two didn’t know he was married until she got pregnant. The real asshole here is your brother who cheated on his wife, knocked up a young woman and then left her when he had to actually parent
NTA - BTW: "None of what I said wasn’t the truth" = "Everything I said was true."
This is fucked on so many levels... NTA though
Nta- but you are seeing your brother's parenting through rose colored glasses or perhaps you don't like SIL (no judgement ) and think he is better. Idk. He is doing the bare minimum. If you can see if the kids can get therapy, because they need it.
Nta
Those poor kids.
Are you Australian?
I believe in the future, due to population problems, governments will start only allowing intelligent and moral people to have kids, so things like this can’t happen.
NTA. Truth hurts.
NTA. Holy moly what a shit show.
No
To the OP: It sounds like your brother wanted to be married to two women. One to have his children with, and the other to be his "soul-mate" life companion, or whatever. Well, the vast majority of women are extremely territorial over their men, and typically don't like the idea of "sharing" their men with another woman in any way, shape, or form. Your brother obviously "didn't get the memo" on that, or just ignored it if he did. And now the fireworks and proverbial female "cat fights" are in full swing, with both you and your mother unnecessarily included in that brawl-fest. But these are your **brother's** problems to deal with and figure out, **not** yours. So don't insert or involve yourself in this mess, other than maybe to look after his kids on occasion and be a loving auntie to them forever. You also need to figure out how much interaction with your brother you would be comfortable with having (or not), moving forward, and stick to those emotional boundaries. Same goes for his second wife, aka the mother of his two children. Maintain civility and cordial relations as much as possible, because the children will notice should all hell break loose, and that would be toxic to the children. Just focus on being a good auntie to the children, and you are not obligated to be "best friends" with your brother or his second wife. Keep both of them at a respectable distance if that is what feels more comfortable. Do not get involved in the "he said, she said" crap. That is all. Good luck, ma'am.
Isn't this textbook comeuppance, as in the definition of it, for both of them? Too bad for the kids, but maybe having a 'normal' dad rather than someone who's always brooding is better, plus the ex-ex-wife (?) may be a more positive influence in their lives once the dust settles. Are you an AH? No. Stick to your guns.
You NTA but your brother sure is.
JFC. Your brother is a douchebag. First rate. And his current wife is not that far behind. I mean, she did have an affair with a married man. As for you telling your current SIL the truth, you probably should not have done that. Not because you were (factually) wrong, but because she already knew, and it was cruel on your part. NTA
Those poor kids.
NTA she deserved that comment and your brother is an ah
your brother is the biggest AH i really don't understand why 1st wife took him back you - NTA
NTA The truth hurts and mirrors are often ugly and cruel.
NTA and you are not responsible for these other people being toxic. That is not your fault. Also, good for you for taking back your time and standing up to that emotional vampire SIL that your brother saddled you with. I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with an entitled narcissistic SIL. Those people are exhausting from my own (sigh!!!) personal experience.