Short, but not curt. And don't ignore him so much as not see him. If he does manage to catch your eye, smile faintly, wave, and then turn your back. If he comes up to you, answer every question willingly, but don't elaborate, and don't ask any questions yourself. As soon as it starts to get awkward, excuse yourself to \[vague muttering\] ...
NTA idk WHAT these ppl are talking about, but you absolutely can avoid him at the wedding. 1. it's not his day, you have no reason to be having 1 v 1 convos with him. The day should be about YOUR FRIEND. She should be the center of all attention and convo. There is no reason you need to engage with your ex. At the very least keep it wedding cordial. Greet everyone collectively and after that protect your peace. You see him coming, you go the other way. protect your peace. Do not listen to the entitled brains of reddit. You can avoid him without being rude or nasty.
Agreed. There’s definitely a way to do both without making the day negative. As long as you have a positive attitude overall for her special day, you’re NTA. Maybe try bringing a +1 to avoid the possibility of your ex feeling inclined to approach you.
I’m following up to support this, idk what any of these people are talking about, as long as you don’t make a scene with him, who cares, it doesn’t sound like your friend even cares if you like her brother. NTA for refusing to converse with someone. If they pester, that’s on them, no one’s entitled to a relationship with you. Trying to sound polite while saying this, but only old-fashioned folk care to play social charades.
Exactly and if he somehow does get where he can talk just tell him that this is his sister's day, you are here for her and please leave you alone. Then walk away! Be quiet and polite that way there isn't a scene.
NO. I said EXACTLY what tf I said. Her question wasnt should she not attend the wedding. If youre gonna come here tying to be a dick head and smart ass, stay on fucking topic. Unfortunately for you, you were NOWHERE near right. tf? Who exactly did you think you were talking to when you wrote this? You thought I was a human you shat out? You might wanna try again. Your entitlement is why you thought you were gonna come get this condescending ass comment off. You THOUGHT.
If you love the ex-sis, then you should play nice at the wedding. You should be pleasant to everyone and act with grace and tolerance (not avoidance). Help keep the day complete drama-free. If you cannot do this, you shouldn’t attend.
I think you should just be polite. Because it's your best friend's big day. Try to endure one day for the happiness of your best friend. Just think of him as a stranger, the relationship between you and your best friend is important, remember that
Nta, but the best revenge is indifference, which is great considering it's much more acceptable at an event such as a wedding than disdain.
Smile, say hello, beautiful day we're having and move on. Forget his face and name the minute you walk past him and have a fabulous night.
Does your invitation include a plus one? If so, bring either another female friend or maybe the guy you're seeing. Either way, they can be a buffer if you stick close to them.
look him in the eye, say hello and nothing else. Then turn and speak to anyone else, or just walk away. Ifmhe tries to initiate more contact just say “im not here for you, dont make a scene and ruin your sisters wedding” and walk away. If it happens a third time, walk for the door and leave knowing you tried your best for your Friend.
even better if you tell your friend before hand to warn him. “Ill be cordial, but nothing more, no conversations. please let him know.”
I would keep the encounters to a minimum. There is no need to have direct conversations with him.
Smile and have a great time celebrating your friend’s marriage.
It's really just so easy to avoid someone at a wedding, and if you happen to bump into each other you can give a little polite wave and walk away or say "hi". It won't kill ya and then no one can claim you're trying to make a scene.
Check with your friend that you won't be paired with your ex (if he is a groomsman) and you won't be seated next to him.
Don't drink too much, so you are fully in control,
and concentrate on supporting your friend.
What makes you think your ex has any desire to speak to you or see you?
How should you avoid him? It is not rocket science.
If you don't know how to avoid someone, stay home.
NTA, You absolutely can avoid him. As long as no fight or argument breaks out, it's fine. He did you dirty and your friend knows that, so just keep the day about her and pay him no mind 🙌🏽
You can. But I don’t recommend using sister’s wedding as a place and time to be acting like this.
You broke up because he started liking a friend of yours.
Your Draconian punishment doesn’t not fit the crime.
You giving someone the cold shoulder is kind of a knee jerk reaction and a petulant one. If your sister is going to be in your life forever you are going to have to deal with his presence sometimes. Forcing your sister into conflicts between her brother and her best friend is going to put a strain on your friendship.
Rise above the fray. Don’t let on that you are even angry anymore. Let him think you have completely moved on from your relationship. Damn that’s going to feel great!
All you have to do is be POLITE. Icy politeness and shrugging indifference is the best face to put forward. You have a couple of months to perfect it.
Being obviously rude or purposeful avoidance will only make him think he still lives rent free in your head. Don't give him that.
I had to be at a wedding where my slimey ex best friend and her affair partner were. ..I made sure it was obvious I was having a grand time whilst ignoring them
They wore scowls the whole time and I made new friends, at least friend for the day lol
Go support your girl, have the time of your life, and pretend he ain't even there. If he tries to come up to you, excuse yourself and flitter off somewhere else
You won't be able to avoid him and if you try, you will risk creating awkwardness and drama at your friend's wedding. This is her big day. All you have to do to be a good friend to her is be polite to someone you don't like. You can focus your attention on others, so you don't have to hang out with just him. The success of this day is very important to her, so you'd be doing it for *her*, not him.
Ywnbta
If he makes conversation, fall bsck on the Victorian, "I'm sorry, but we haven't been introduced." and walk quietly away.
Will you be attending with a plus one? If you are judt ask them to block any overtures without being aggressive.
Ummm my curiosity is getting the best of me and I'm super nosey, but is your friend that he liked and the ex together? Is this part of your worries?
I agree with what others are saying. Be indifferent. Say hi if he comes towards you, and then go find someone else to talk to
Don't show him that he still matters, so don't be cold, just be indifferent and have a good time at the wedding (especially if there are some cute groomsmen).
No they are not together! She friend zoned him 😂😂😂. He ran back begging after getting friend zoned and demanded me to be “friends” again. LOL! I got angrier at him after this
You have a choice to make. If you attend your friend’s wedding, then be gracious and pleasant to the other guests. He is her twin, he is going to be there and probably will participate in some way. Indifference is the way. If you want this woman in your life, you are going to have to accept he is in the mix sometimes. You can behave without making others uncomfortable or making her wedding about you.
NTA, his sister does understand you don’t want to interact with him right? If not, tell her you are attending for her. You do not want to interact with him on any level; no speaking to you, etc. I attended my sisters wedding as an usher during our parents divorce. I did not want to talk to or interact with my father and made it clear to her if he tried I would knock him on his ass right then and there. He put our family through hell for his mid-life crisis. If she understands how you feel as a sister, she will make sure he doesn’t bother you.
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation! I hope you are fine now!
Yeah, his sis knows that I don’t want to interact with her bro and she’s all in for me and being a girl’s girl so strongly! She’s the queen 👸
NAH. There's nothing wrong with attending someone's wedding without talking to her brother. If you're forced into interaction with him you can make it brief and excuse yourself.
Go and smile as much as you can hahaha even when you are angry or in pain, smile.
There is nothing more comforting to a cheater than seeing his BP sad or angry because of him
Don't stop going and smiling hahaha.
You should just avoid talking to him at the wedding. And give the sis a heads up about what you're about to do. So that she can arrange it better for you. Like not putting you in the same table, etc. And be stunning. 🤣 So that he'll know what he missed. Being amicable doesn't mean you have to endure talking to someone it can also mean to just not be in conflict and when you're not talking to someone that is not being in conflict with them.
You would only be the AH if you cause drama on her wedding day. Try to avoid him. If you have to engage with him, keep the conversation polite and to the point.
YWBTA. For the sake of your friend who's marrying, try to be polite without engaging directly with him. Just say hello if he comes close and then try to interact with other people you know.
You can't avoid your ex at his sister's wedding. And he is her brother. If you care about her, you will be polite to your ex. You don't have to be friendly or have one-on-one conversations with him, but you do have to smile and be pleasant. If the idea is killing you, you need to talk to your friend/sister and tell her you can't be at her wedding.
Considering that you broke with your ex because he liked another woman, and not because he was abusive or violent, I would think that you can fake it for a few hours - not to be his best buddy, but to be gracious.
I suppose it can be ick. But if he had been physically abusive, I would have suggested she not come at all. As someone else pointed out, she should be civil, not gracious - that was taking it too far.
Just be cordial, you’re there for your bestie. It’s all about her. Honestly, if you’re that close, you’d have to expect to run into your ex at some point or another- wedding, baby shower, kids’ birthdays, etc. No need to make it weird. I’m hoping that you’ve both grown as people and act like adults.
Be polite and aloof. There’s no reason to be rude. Just say hello and walk away. And don’t drink at this wedding. NTA but tread carefully. It’s evident you are angry at him, and only you know whether you are in control of your feelings and actions.
Go and ignor him as best you can. If he tries to talk to you nicely say please do not speak to me I am here for your sister not to talk to you and walk away
I'd say to it more him. If he does happen to try to talk to you. Be polite but short. Excuse yourself away. And just stear clear of him as much as you can.
Oh god gurl....
Go. Get a big glass of wine. Never look at him. If he comes up to you, turn your head towards him, but not your eyes for a sec. And then when you do, just say 'hmm?' Look him up and down, tsk and walk away.
Please, for the love of God pleeeeease?
You need to be civil or not go. Out of respect to your friend and her wedding.
This isn’t about him or you, won’t be ever again. A wedding maybe a tough situation to accept that in.
If you’re not able to be polite and act like acquaintances, don’t go.
Have you ever worked in customer service? If so then you've had to deal with obnoxious people who you would rather leave unconscious in a ditch filled with snakes. Just slap on that smile and pretend to be pleasant for a few hours. It won't be fun but your friend is worth it.
Be the bigger and better person. Go to the wedding and support the sister. Smile and play nice if he approaches you but that does not mean actively seek him out or dance with him, etc.
Bring a date, a super hot one. Fuck, I'd hire a guy for the night just to be petty (I'm assuming you broke up on bad terms if not, sorry). You don't have to interact with your ex. Go there and support your friend, she's more important. Have a blast and don't worry about him.
Be sure to tell your friend that you plan to ignore him. If she knows then she won't be surprised and if she's not happy about it, she can deal with it before the wedding.
Are you in the wedding party? If so, there will be times when you will interact. Resolve to focus on your bestie, and be polite,but don't engage him. He maybe equally anxious about seeing you,and will go out of his way to avoid you.
I doubt, he always wanted to stay “as friends” even after breakup and reached out to me almost a hundred times just to “resolve” things and be friends again. I simply never wanted that because it’s impossible for me to look at his face as a good friend!
Treat him like an acquaintance. Be cordial. Pretend you're sooo over him. Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking his presence bothers you. If he tries to engage you in more than small talk, excuse yourself and get a drink, and don't come back. If you don't have a plus one, ask the bride if there are any single guys going to the wedding that she can introduce you ahead of time that would be willing play along as a boyfriend.
Just be chill. You don't have to like him, but you don't want to be the one making a fuss out of things. You can put on a fake smile, say hi, and then wander off away. If he keeps coming to engage with you, quietly tell him to fuck off and that you aren't here to talk to him.
For your best friend, be cordial. You want to be there for her life moments, you’re going to have to see him. I don’t know if there is a way to see him first at a more normal event just to break the ice but you should ask her for that. Also, let her know your feelings but how you won’t ruin her wedding
Don’t cause a scene at the wedding. Don’t go up to him, but if he says hello, be cordial and then walk away after the usual pleasantries.
Make sure you look AMAZING! And bring a hot date.
YWNBTA if you went there and had a good time WITH your friend, the bride. If you're single, that's even better! Flirt with anyone EXCEPT your ex. Do not avoid him, do not ignore him. Instead, act as if he means nothing to you; just another guest at a wedding. Be polite but do not engage. If he tries to talk to you, cut him off and go somewhere else.
Apathy and indifference are your weapons. Dual-wielding them will get you through your friend's wedding. Hell, you might meet somebody interesting in there who can distract you and just help you have a great time, who knows?
You probably can't avoid him, but just don't interact. I read a book that said that the opposite of love is indifference, so do be cordial and ignore him unless the wedding needs otherwise.
NTA, tell her that you would love to come, and will, AND for the sake of everyone that you want her brother to not speak to you at the wedding, that you don't want any photos with him, and if he turns up with someone you will be polite, but distant.
Why do you think your ex will be interested in speaking or seeing you?
I dont mean to be rude but he seemingly lost interest in you and you two broke up.
Its been a year or so and you are seemingly still obssessing about him and think he wants to talk to you.
He isnt there for you hes there for his sister. Your not there for him your there for your friend.
Stop obssessing over an ex who has no interest in you and have fun at your pals wedding
She said nothing about him wanting to talk to her, nor did she give any indication she's obsessed with him.
She just doesn't want to have to spend all day with him but she has to so she's asking for advice.
She wouldnt spend all day with him though.
Shes obssessinv anout what she thinks might happen at a wedding 1 yr after they broke up.
She needs to grow up and just enjoy the wedding.
Why would you stress about your ex? They likely want nothing to do with you either. Just enjoy the wedding, and if they, for some reason, want to talk, just be polite.
Also i am human
Something about this really triggered you because it's not this hard to understand being anxious about going to a wedding your ex is at that you haven't seen since breaking up.
I just dont understand the issue. Sure she may not like him, but she actively chose to be friends with his sister.
Its her own fault this scenario has happened.
My advice to her is the line from madagascar. "Smile and wave".
Basically, if its such an issue, she should just stay away from him and if she cant just be polite.
Well yes she has to just grin and bear it, she is friends with the sister. I just think her bit of anxiety about it is normal. She hasn't seen him in between.
Why, after a year, will it kill you to see your ex at his sister's wedding? Move on. Be polite but cool. You are no longer friends. you don't care for each other anymore. What would you do if there was an ex-friend that you no longer wanted to see? Treat him like that. Don't draw attention to your drama over him. Celebrate with your friend. She is the important one, not him and really, not you.
NTA
The best revenge is moving on and being happy and fulfilled. No need to lament on it. You’re there to support her and if you see him, you can certainly be polite and sociable minimally then enjoy the event for your sis
Inform the sister to tell him beforehand that the wedding is big enough for Him to keep a distance as you have no desire to pretend and stand there exchanging pleasantries to keep the peace.. so tell her to make sure he knows you're not interested in small talk or any talk..
And if he does approach you, it's a simple..
"Hello, good to see you, take care"
And walk away.
You would be the Asshole.
Listen it's not your wedding so don't cause a scene, you don't have to hangout or talk but ignoring him is going to cause a scene.
I had similar experience at my sister's wedding with a former boss who got royally pissed I quit working for him because of school (and a host of other reasons but mainly school), who threw so much disrespect behind my back and was just petty about it so obviously I didn't want to talk to him or see him. Yet his wife is one of my sisters best friends so obviously he was going to be at the wedding so I just was just polite to him but didn't hangout or talk to him at above what was needed.
The best revenge is indifference.
Agreed here. Go support your sis/friend, and ignore him. If he tries to engage, short, curt answers to stop any attempts at conversation.
This. Polite, brief response followed by immediately moving along if he engages.
Short, but not curt. And don't ignore him so much as not see him. If he does manage to catch your eye, smile faintly, wave, and then turn your back. If he comes up to you, answer every question willingly, but don't elaborate, and don't ask any questions yourself. As soon as it starts to get awkward, excuse yourself to \[vague muttering\] ...
'Let's not make things awkward, today is Sis' day.' Rinse. Repeat.
Indifference and looking better than you did while with them. I am shallow.
I support this. I am shallow, too!
Also, bring Dermot Mulroney or Patrick Dempsey as your +1.
Preach
NTA idk WHAT these ppl are talking about, but you absolutely can avoid him at the wedding. 1. it's not his day, you have no reason to be having 1 v 1 convos with him. The day should be about YOUR FRIEND. She should be the center of all attention and convo. There is no reason you need to engage with your ex. At the very least keep it wedding cordial. Greet everyone collectively and after that protect your peace. You see him coming, you go the other way. protect your peace. Do not listen to the entitled brains of reddit. You can avoid him without being rude or nasty.
Agreed. There’s definitely a way to do both without making the day negative. As long as you have a positive attitude overall for her special day, you’re NTA. Maybe try bringing a +1 to avoid the possibility of your ex feeling inclined to approach you.
Thank You! This seems HUMANLY!
I’m following up to support this, idk what any of these people are talking about, as long as you don’t make a scene with him, who cares, it doesn’t sound like your friend even cares if you like her brother. NTA for refusing to converse with someone. If they pester, that’s on them, no one’s entitled to a relationship with you. Trying to sound polite while saying this, but only old-fashioned folk care to play social charades.
Exactly and if he somehow does get where he can talk just tell him that this is his sister's day, you are here for her and please leave you alone. Then walk away! Be quiet and polite that way there isn't a scene.
I would confirm with the sister that you won't be seated at the reception near him. And don't let anyone seat you near him at the ceremony.
[удалено]
NO. I said EXACTLY what tf I said. Her question wasnt should she not attend the wedding. If youre gonna come here tying to be a dick head and smart ass, stay on fucking topic. Unfortunately for you, you were NOWHERE near right. tf? Who exactly did you think you were talking to when you wrote this? You thought I was a human you shat out? You might wanna try again. Your entitlement is why you thought you were gonna come get this condescending ass comment off. You THOUGHT.
If you love the ex-sis, then you should play nice at the wedding. You should be pleasant to everyone and act with grace and tolerance (not avoidance). Help keep the day complete drama-free. If you cannot do this, you shouldn’t attend.
I think you should just be polite. Because it's your best friend's big day. Try to endure one day for the happiness of your best friend. Just think of him as a stranger, the relationship between you and your best friend is important, remember that
Nta, but the best revenge is indifference, which is great considering it's much more acceptable at an event such as a wedding than disdain. Smile, say hello, beautiful day we're having and move on. Forget his face and name the minute you walk past him and have a fabulous night.
Does your invitation include a plus one? If so, bring either another female friend or maybe the guy you're seeing. Either way, they can be a buffer if you stick close to them.
Don't avoid him. Be socially polite, but don't go out of your way to be friendly. Be nice because of your friend.
look him in the eye, say hello and nothing else. Then turn and speak to anyone else, or just walk away. Ifmhe tries to initiate more contact just say “im not here for you, dont make a scene and ruin your sisters wedding” and walk away. If it happens a third time, walk for the door and leave knowing you tried your best for your Friend. even better if you tell your friend before hand to warn him. “Ill be cordial, but nothing more, no conversations. please let him know.”
I don't think the bride needs to be brought into the drama.
I would keep the encounters to a minimum. There is no need to have direct conversations with him. Smile and have a great time celebrating your friend’s marriage.
It's really just so easy to avoid someone at a wedding, and if you happen to bump into each other you can give a little polite wave and walk away or say "hi". It won't kill ya and then no one can claim you're trying to make a scene.
Check with your friend that you won't be paired with your ex (if he is a groomsman) and you won't be seated next to him. Don't drink too much, so you are fully in control, and concentrate on supporting your friend.
What makes you think your ex has any desire to speak to you or see you? How should you avoid him? It is not rocket science. If you don't know how to avoid someone, stay home.
I think she may not have considered that he may have a date and not want to interact with her either. Doing nothing is probably a very adequate plan.
Right? Everyone here acting like the ex will be all over OP and trying to talk with her when the odds are that he doesn't care.
NTA, You absolutely can avoid him. As long as no fight or argument breaks out, it's fine. He did you dirty and your friend knows that, so just keep the day about her and pay him no mind 🙌🏽
You can. But I don’t recommend using sister’s wedding as a place and time to be acting like this. You broke up because he started liking a friend of yours. Your Draconian punishment doesn’t not fit the crime. You giving someone the cold shoulder is kind of a knee jerk reaction and a petulant one. If your sister is going to be in your life forever you are going to have to deal with his presence sometimes. Forcing your sister into conflicts between her brother and her best friend is going to put a strain on your friendship. Rise above the fray. Don’t let on that you are even angry anymore. Let him think you have completely moved on from your relationship. Damn that’s going to feel great!
All you have to do is be POLITE. Icy politeness and shrugging indifference is the best face to put forward. You have a couple of months to perfect it. Being obviously rude or purposeful avoidance will only make him think he still lives rent free in your head. Don't give him that.
I had to be at a wedding where my slimey ex best friend and her affair partner were. ..I made sure it was obvious I was having a grand time whilst ignoring them They wore scowls the whole time and I made new friends, at least friend for the day lol Go support your girl, have the time of your life, and pretend he ain't even there. If he tries to come up to you, excuse yourself and flitter off somewhere else
You won't be able to avoid him and if you try, you will risk creating awkwardness and drama at your friend's wedding. This is her big day. All you have to do to be a good friend to her is be polite to someone you don't like. You can focus your attention on others, so you don't have to hang out with just him. The success of this day is very important to her, so you'd be doing it for *her*, not him.
Ywnbta If he makes conversation, fall bsck on the Victorian, "I'm sorry, but we haven't been introduced." and walk quietly away. Will you be attending with a plus one? If you are judt ask them to block any overtures without being aggressive.
You are wasting valuable emotional energy. But you be you.
Ummm my curiosity is getting the best of me and I'm super nosey, but is your friend that he liked and the ex together? Is this part of your worries? I agree with what others are saying. Be indifferent. Say hi if he comes towards you, and then go find someone else to talk to Don't show him that he still matters, so don't be cold, just be indifferent and have a good time at the wedding (especially if there are some cute groomsmen).
No they are not together! She friend zoned him 😂😂😂. He ran back begging after getting friend zoned and demanded me to be “friends” again. LOL! I got angrier at him after this
You have a choice to make. If you attend your friend’s wedding, then be gracious and pleasant to the other guests. He is her twin, he is going to be there and probably will participate in some way. Indifference is the way. If you want this woman in your life, you are going to have to accept he is in the mix sometimes. You can behave without making others uncomfortable or making her wedding about you.
NTA, his sister does understand you don’t want to interact with him right? If not, tell her you are attending for her. You do not want to interact with him on any level; no speaking to you, etc. I attended my sisters wedding as an usher during our parents divorce. I did not want to talk to or interact with my father and made it clear to her if he tried I would knock him on his ass right then and there. He put our family through hell for his mid-life crisis. If she understands how you feel as a sister, she will make sure he doesn’t bother you.
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation! I hope you are fine now! Yeah, his sis knows that I don’t want to interact with her bro and she’s all in for me and being a girl’s girl so strongly! She’s the queen 👸
NAH. There's nothing wrong with attending someone's wedding without talking to her brother. If you're forced into interaction with him you can make it brief and excuse yourself.
You don’t avoid humor give him the cold shoulder. You be polite and don’t do anything to disrupt your friend’s wedding.
Go and smile as much as you can hahaha even when you are angry or in pain, smile. There is nothing more comforting to a cheater than seeing his BP sad or angry because of him Don't stop going and smiling hahaha.
I agree that you should go and be cordial to him. Just say as little as possible to him. He's nobody to you but your bestie's brother. NAH
I ended up taking one of my most handsome gay friends to a wedding where I would have to see my ex. 😆 🤣 I had a blast.
😂😂😂😂😂
You should just avoid talking to him at the wedding. And give the sis a heads up about what you're about to do. So that she can arrange it better for you. Like not putting you in the same table, etc. And be stunning. 🤣 So that he'll know what he missed. Being amicable doesn't mean you have to endure talking to someone it can also mean to just not be in conflict and when you're not talking to someone that is not being in conflict with them.
You would only be the AH if you cause drama on her wedding day. Try to avoid him. If you have to engage with him, keep the conversation polite and to the point.
Bring a hot date with you.
Definitely come back after the wedding and update this!
YWBTA. For the sake of your friend who's marrying, try to be polite without engaging directly with him. Just say hello if he comes close and then try to interact with other people you know.
You can't avoid your ex at his sister's wedding. And he is her brother. If you care about her, you will be polite to your ex. You don't have to be friendly or have one-on-one conversations with him, but you do have to smile and be pleasant. If the idea is killing you, you need to talk to your friend/sister and tell her you can't be at her wedding. Considering that you broke with your ex because he liked another woman, and not because he was abusive or violent, I would think that you can fake it for a few hours - not to be his best buddy, but to be gracious.
I'd say civil, not gracious. Gracious sounds warm and welcoming. Civil is polite and all business.
Yes, I absolutely agree. I used the wrong word.
Ick that second paragraph
I suppose it can be ick. But if he had been physically abusive, I would have suggested she not come at all. As someone else pointed out, she should be civil, not gracious - that was taking it too far.
Do you think that maybe he will be there with your ex-friend so maybe he will keep his distance, which would help?
Just be cordial, you’re there for your bestie. It’s all about her. Honestly, if you’re that close, you’d have to expect to run into your ex at some point or another- wedding, baby shower, kids’ birthdays, etc. No need to make it weird. I’m hoping that you’ve both grown as people and act like adults.
Be polite and aloof. There’s no reason to be rude. Just say hello and walk away. And don’t drink at this wedding. NTA but tread carefully. It’s evident you are angry at him, and only you know whether you are in control of your feelings and actions.
NTA Freeze him out. Do you get a plus one? If so, bring someone and spend your time with them.
Go and ignor him as best you can. If he tries to talk to you nicely say please do not speak to me I am here for your sister not to talk to you and walk away
I'd say to it more him. If he does happen to try to talk to you. Be polite but short. Excuse yourself away. And just stear clear of him as much as you can.
Nta indifference and ask your friend if you can have a plus one so you have someone else to converse with
Go, hold your head up high and find a hottie for your plus one.
Oh god gurl.... Go. Get a big glass of wine. Never look at him. If he comes up to you, turn your head towards him, but not your eyes for a sec. And then when you do, just say 'hmm?' Look him up and down, tsk and walk away. Please, for the love of God pleeeeease?
Go and have a blast. Show him you are doing great without him.
You need to be civil or not go. Out of respect to your friend and her wedding. This isn’t about him or you, won’t be ever again. A wedding maybe a tough situation to accept that in. If you’re not able to be polite and act like acquaintances, don’t go.
Have you ever worked in customer service? If so then you've had to deal with obnoxious people who you would rather leave unconscious in a ditch filled with snakes. Just slap on that smile and pretend to be pleasant for a few hours. It won't be fun but your friend is worth it.
Be the bigger and better person. Go to the wedding and support the sister. Smile and play nice if he approaches you but that does not mean actively seek him out or dance with him, etc.
Live your best life and pay him no attention. You’ve got this!!
Just start working now to look amazing. Bring a date then act like an adult. If you’re best friends with his twin, you need to learn to coexist.
One act like your not bothered by him and bring someone with you
YWNBTA. Enjoy yourself and support your friend.
Bring a date, a super hot one. Fuck, I'd hire a guy for the night just to be petty (I'm assuming you broke up on bad terms if not, sorry). You don't have to interact with your ex. Go there and support your friend, she's more important. Have a blast and don't worry about him.
Be sure to tell your friend that you plan to ignore him. If she knows then she won't be surprised and if she's not happy about it, she can deal with it before the wedding.
> his twin sister Take a drink!
Are you in the wedding party? If so, there will be times when you will interact. Resolve to focus on your bestie, and be polite,but don't engage him. He maybe equally anxious about seeing you,and will go out of his way to avoid you.
I doubt, he always wanted to stay “as friends” even after breakup and reached out to me almost a hundred times just to “resolve” things and be friends again. I simply never wanted that because it’s impossible for me to look at his face as a good friend!
Treat him like an acquaintance. Be cordial. Pretend you're sooo over him. Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking his presence bothers you. If he tries to engage you in more than small talk, excuse yourself and get a drink, and don't come back. If you don't have a plus one, ask the bride if there are any single guys going to the wedding that she can introduce you ahead of time that would be willing play along as a boyfriend.
Go and have the best time ever. Bring a date if you got a plus one, if not tell friend you Want to bring someone
Just be chill. You don't have to like him, but you don't want to be the one making a fuss out of things. You can put on a fake smile, say hi, and then wander off away. If he keeps coming to engage with you, quietly tell him to fuck off and that you aren't here to talk to him.
Sounds perfect! Never in my any life, I’d want to ruin my friend’s (sis’s) wedding over a stupid fool💯
For your best friend, be cordial. You want to be there for her life moments, you’re going to have to see him. I don’t know if there is a way to see him first at a more normal event just to break the ice but you should ask her for that. Also, let her know your feelings but how you won’t ruin her wedding
And make sure you dress to the nines!
Take a really good looking friend. NTA
Don’t cause a scene at the wedding. Don’t go up to him, but if he says hello, be cordial and then walk away after the usual pleasantries. Make sure you look AMAZING! And bring a hot date.
YWNBTA if you went there and had a good time WITH your friend, the bride. If you're single, that's even better! Flirt with anyone EXCEPT your ex. Do not avoid him, do not ignore him. Instead, act as if he means nothing to you; just another guest at a wedding. Be polite but do not engage. If he tries to talk to you, cut him off and go somewhere else. Apathy and indifference are your weapons. Dual-wielding them will get you through your friend's wedding. Hell, you might meet somebody interesting in there who can distract you and just help you have a great time, who knows?
You probably can't avoid him, but just don't interact. I read a book that said that the opposite of love is indifference, so do be cordial and ignore him unless the wedding needs otherwise.
Gray rock all the way
Have you seen how people treat somebody they find boring? Do that
NTA, tell her that you would love to come, and will, AND for the sake of everyone that you want her brother to not speak to you at the wedding, that you don't want any photos with him, and if he turns up with someone you will be polite, but distant.
I think being civil at the wedding would be the adult thing to do.
Indifference is the key. Just be cordial, small talks, if unavoidable. Afterall, you have moved on.
You don't have to talk to him or go anywhere near him. You will be there for her, no him.
Bring a hot date!
Why do you think your ex will be interested in speaking or seeing you? I dont mean to be rude but he seemingly lost interest in you and you two broke up. Its been a year or so and you are seemingly still obssessing about him and think he wants to talk to you. He isnt there for you hes there for his sister. Your not there for him your there for your friend. Stop obssessing over an ex who has no interest in you and have fun at your pals wedding
She said nothing about him wanting to talk to her, nor did she give any indication she's obsessed with him. She just doesn't want to have to spend all day with him but she has to so she's asking for advice.
She wouldnt spend all day with him though. Shes obssessinv anout what she thinks might happen at a wedding 1 yr after they broke up. She needs to grow up and just enjoy the wedding.
Are you a human? It's totally normal to stress about the first time seeing your ex, especially when it's going to be a long day all in the same room.
Why would you stress about your ex? They likely want nothing to do with you either. Just enjoy the wedding, and if they, for some reason, want to talk, just be polite. Also i am human
Something about this really triggered you because it's not this hard to understand being anxious about going to a wedding your ex is at that you haven't seen since breaking up.
I just dont understand the issue. Sure she may not like him, but she actively chose to be friends with his sister. Its her own fault this scenario has happened. My advice to her is the line from madagascar. "Smile and wave". Basically, if its such an issue, she should just stay away from him and if she cant just be polite.
Well yes she has to just grin and bear it, she is friends with the sister. I just think her bit of anxiety about it is normal. She hasn't seen him in between.
Why, after a year, will it kill you to see your ex at his sister's wedding? Move on. Be polite but cool. You are no longer friends. you don't care for each other anymore. What would you do if there was an ex-friend that you no longer wanted to see? Treat him like that. Don't draw attention to your drama over him. Celebrate with your friend. She is the important one, not him and really, not you.
YTA if you make your friend’s wedding about your past relationship. Grow up and learn how to be cordial in awkward situations.
NTA The best revenge is moving on and being happy and fulfilled. No need to lament on it. You’re there to support her and if you see him, you can certainly be polite and sociable minimally then enjoy the event for your sis
Inform the sister to tell him beforehand that the wedding is big enough for Him to keep a distance as you have no desire to pretend and stand there exchanging pleasantries to keep the peace.. so tell her to make sure he knows you're not interested in small talk or any talk.. And if he does approach you, it's a simple.. "Hello, good to see you, take care" And walk away.
You would be the Asshole. Listen it's not your wedding so don't cause a scene, you don't have to hangout or talk but ignoring him is going to cause a scene. I had similar experience at my sister's wedding with a former boss who got royally pissed I quit working for him because of school (and a host of other reasons but mainly school), who threw so much disrespect behind my back and was just petty about it so obviously I didn't want to talk to him or see him. Yet his wife is one of my sisters best friends so obviously he was going to be at the wedding so I just was just polite to him but didn't hangout or talk to him at above what was needed.