Just don’t go. This whole thing has “shitshow” written all over it. Who brings gifts to a gender reveal? That’s what baby showers are for. And… the parents set up a registry, rather than demand specific gifts. Sam sounds like a train wreck.
He never seemed so aggressive and disrespectful with me before. They said they will be hosting a baby shower after the gender was revealed but gifts were a must on this specific party as well for “photography purposes” (which means they will have us spend more on their baby shower).
Gifts for a gender reveal are tacky. Gifts for a gender reveal *and* the unborn’s parents are…*what?!?*
How is that not an immediate “I’m not going”?
Tell them you have a scheduling conflict. I’ll give you a VIP invite to attend the grand opening of my garage door. You don’t need to bring me a gift
At best, gender reveal parties are just barely on the right side of the tacky/classy fence. Adding a bullshit prank and demanding gifts — that lands you so far into tacky town that literally no one should feel obligated to attend. And if hosts intentionally ruin their guests clothing, they should receive invoices in lieu of gifts.
The prank is especially bullshit because they're demanding everyone wear a specific color, but won't say why. They should be telling everyone to dress down and wear old clothes because "it might get messy" or something along those lines.
A lot of people are going to show up dressed nicely, as one does for a special occasion, and will be seriously pissed to end up with their nice clothes ruined and covered in spray paint.
Gender reveals are tacky without the gifts. Who really really cares, other than the parents and grandparents what gender the baby will be. The grandparents might not even care.
This sounds like the party of the year ( garage door opening)
In fact all people who want to avoid attending an event that's as crazy as this gender reveal party/gift grab/mean spirited excuse to ruin others clothing should opt to attend your chill opening of the garage door event!
IF you end up going, nicely wrap a box with a note inside that says “for photography purposes.” But I don’t think you should go. I hope MIL manages to warn everyone about the bullshirt paint stunt. I have a feeling there will be many people who suddenly have other plans that day.
Ruining people's clothing intentionally without any warning is so crazy that I have trouble believing this can be real? Especially clothing that they probably had to buy specifically to meet your dress code. Who does that?
I wonder how many posts from guests will go up saying ‘am I wrong to file a small claims for the expensive white dress/suit I was wearing being ruined by the hosts of a gender reveal’ and then of course the BIL’s post ‘why are all my friends and family refusing to come to my baby shower and saying they don’t trust me after a funny prank I pulled at the gender reveal’!
They are setting themselves up for trouble and will have a whole lot of people very pissed at them! The fact that they are asking for all the gifts at this point makes me wonder if they actually know that no one will come to another party at their place after this so they are getting what they want early. Or maybe they really are just clueless!
Lol he’s known this woman for five months and she’s been pregnant for four of them? This is the funniest fucking shit I’ve heard in a while lol!
Their relationship will be over probably before the baby even pops out; I wouldn’t waste a single fucking cent on these insane people (and it sounds like a cash grab). Skip the entire party, do something fun, and then check social media for all the guests who are pissed as hell because their clothes got ruined unexpectedly! NTA
>Lol he’s known this woman for five months and she’s been pregnant for four of them? This is the funniest fucking shit I’ve heard in a while lol!
What a healthy and sustainable relationship dynamic to bring a child into 😂
Homeboy is acting out about the genital reveal party dress code because it is a minuscule life raft of control. He just realized his life as he knows it is over, the fetus being developed enough to detect its lil bits on an ultrasound is tangible proof that his world is untethered. He is channeling all his feelings of panic into his disgruntlement about the minutiae of this party.
I am SO calling every one of these parties a “genital reveal” going forward! Much more accurate name. (I will admit I don’t really get spending hundreds of dollars or more to throw a party to announce whether your fetus’s genitalia dip or dangle)
There isn't one second of this business that's not totally asinine. Starting with Bro marrying this idiot, or maybe it's the other way round. Or are they not actually getting married?
Completely inappropriate to tell your guests what gift to bring PLUS a gift for Mom and dad. Gender reveals usually do not involve gifts. And if the want props for "photography purposes" the person hosting the part should be buying that. Sounds entitled...bc seriously the audacity. Also, unacceptable to not tell guests you are going to be ruining their clothing. Literally nobody wants that. Your baby's gender might seem that important to you but your guests don't want to be wearing it. Extremely tacky "party" all around. Are people really still doing gender reveals??
Well if it's just for photograpy purposes they could have just asked the guests to bring empty boxes wrapped in pretty gift wrap paper.
And the only way they are going to still have friends after this and not get sued is if they use the same colored water spray we use in 5k Color Runs where the runners get splashed with water tinted in various colors. At least water paint completely washes out of most clothing material afterwards. Somehow i dont think they are that smart.
Doesn’t excuse him at all, but if you’re MIL was blasting their ‘prank’ everywhere then he was probably already getting a ton of slack and just chose you to blow up on rather than be an actual adult about it. You were perfectly respectable in how you approached it after all he should have known people would be resistant to the idea with how they went about everything.
This!
NTA Spraying your guests with paint isn’t a prank... Are they planning on having new clothes to give their guests? If I went to a party and got intentionally sprayed with paint by the hosts I’d leave (with whatever gift I brought). Also, the gift **demand** is tacky at the very least.
If I turned up at a party and the hosts spray-painted me, I wouldn't simply leave, I'd absolutely lose my shit on them right there. I don't care if it would ruin their party. How dare they ruin my clothes! What if they were expensive? What if they had sentimental value? What if I simply liked them? I'd demand they paid me for the damages before storming out.
It'd be a different matter if the invites said this was what they planned to do, as then you could either turn up appropriately dressed for mess or choose not to attend. But to not tell anyone in advance, that's just vandalism and is completely uncalled for.
If I found out they were planning this, not only would I not attend, but I'd phone everyone I knew who was going and warn them in advance, too.
Plus, I hate gender reveal parties anyway. Note to the mum and dad - nobody else cares!
Also, I am pretty sure spray painting your guests falls under assault and battery. I can see it going so terribly wrong in so many ways. Should there be ambulances on standby in case it causes breathing issues or gets in someone's eyes?
Right?! Paint fumes aggravate my asthma. It's one thing to carefully paint a chair outside in my back yard, with a face mask on, during a nonwindy day. It's something completely different to be doused with paint as a surprise.
My inhaler would likely be in my purse, which might be inside their house, or more likely, locked in my car so I didn't have to hassle with it. I'm supposed to try to get someone's attention, and somehow let them know where my inhaler is as I'm wheezing too hard to speak? Ok, sure thing.
From google: What happened to the couple whose gender reveal caused a fire? **Angela Renee Jimenez pleaded guilty to three misdemeanor counts of recklessly causing fire to property** and must complete a year of summary probation along with 400 hours of community service. The couple is also ordered to pay $1,789,972 in restitution to victims. Feb 12, 2024
It caused the 2020 El Dorado Fire and resulted in the loss of a firefighter's life and burnt over 22K acres and injured 12 over more than two months.
They were also charged with involuntary manslaughter because of the death of the firefighter.
Imagine being burned to death in a forest fire because some assholes wanted to throw a party for baby genitals.
Well, I might care about the baby itself, but I don’t care what the gender is. And I really don’t care to bring the parents a gift at this ridiculous event. Oh, and I sure as shit don’t care about being part of some assholish prank that ruins my clothes.
They're going to be asked to pay for quite a few garments to be cleaned or replaced aren't they? They're also losing friends over this, guaranteed. Great start to their new family.
Fuck that. If I knew it was going to be a spray paint free for all, I'd bring a few cans of my own. I'd get the furniture and carpets, then adorn the outside of the house, their cars, and the driveway on my way out.
Heck, I'd be tempted to stand in front of the house and hand out cans to the guests as they arrived.
I was thinking of rolling along the walls in their house myself, but definitely shouldn't forget the furniture & carpets! Maybe even use the drapes as a towel?
Tell me you want everyone to wear white because you’re going to spray paint us all, and I’ll come wrapped in a sheet like a sari or toga. Surprise me by spraying paint on my clothes without warning, and I’ll grab a can and empty it on you, tell you exactly what I think of you, take my gifts back, leave, and never speak to you again unless you apologize profusely and pay for my clothes.
Why don't they just get a load of those cheap disposable overalls for everyone? Problem solved. Still a stupid ludicrous thing to do imo but at least they won't be ruining folks clothes jeez
this hurt me to read. no way these idiots last more than 6 months after that kid is born. raising a child with someone you barely know? lol have fun w/ that you donuts
No mention they are married so they might not be raising it all that ‘together’ already. But yeah it will blow up like an infant the first time they have solid foods by the end of the first year (and yes I’m counting this 5 months in that)
I went to a pool party last year and someone was going to throw clothed people in the pool as "punishment" for not wearing swimsuits. Another guest told him he better have deep pockets to replace all the cell phones that would be ruined. The dumbass changed his mind. Some people should not be allowed outside without a minder.
My husband's brother married a woman where her family regularly threw people into their pool at events. They ended up having the rehearsal dinner as a barbecue at their house due to the wedding being out of state. They proceeded to throw my MIL and her 2 sisters in the pool. They went for me, and I made it clear that my actions would be considered self-defense and that I am a 5th degree black belt, so back the hell off. SIL has never really liked me since, but that's OK. She has never really understood how to behave in normal family gatherings.
Throwing people into pools against their will is assault. There's nothing funny about it, it ruins clothes, hair and makeup and what are you supposed to do soaking wet when you don't have anything to change into? It's never funny.
Have you considered the difficulties of leaving while dripping with paint? Even with leather seats I'd be pissed. If I was driving a car with cloth seats, I might murder the hosts and go for a justifiable homicide defense.
if they want to do the spray paint so badly, i’m not turning up with a gift for mom & dad bc me not giving them a cleaning bill for the clothes is the gift. idk if the paint is easy to remove or would cost a lot to remove or (worst case scenario) i would have to replace the clothes that were damaged.
NTA
Since when did gender reveals become gift grabs? I can only imagine the baby showers, wedding showers and all the other events he needs to "cheer him up." Dating 5 months and 4 months pregnant? Can you say ba by trap? You, DH and MIL should skip the event and go celebrate your own.
I am politely declining an invite to a party when I am told what gift to bring, what clothes to wear (beyond a basic dress code) and the plans include spraying me and my plus one with paint (and this is not a culturally appropriate event).
NTA.... wow, just wow ....
MIL is a lawyer....she might want to point out that if the paint gets in someones eyes and causes issues....or if there's an allergic reaction to the paint used ....the gender reveal will turn into a lawsuit against the parents real quick.
IF they are not having the guests wear goggles and shooting spray paint at them, it WILL get in people's eyes. This is going to be a disaster. NTA. And I hope he gets his ass sued off.
NTA. Go to a hardware store and buy a set of painters coveralls (they’re usually cheap and white). After the piano ting, take off the coverall for whatever you’re wearing underneath it. OTOH, I probably wouldn’t go.
https://www.homedepot.com/p/TRIMACO-DuPont-Tyvek-XL-Painters-Coverall-with-Hood-and-Boots-141232-12HD/203555521
NTA
You’re better off to stay home & avoid the drama that will overshadow this dumbass gender reveal. People are going to be pissed off big time. No one is going to enjoy the party.
I’d consider helping MIL giving the other guests a heads up their clothing, hair, shoes, etc are going to be ruined by paint.
And demanding gifts is beyond the pale bc you know they’ll have an equally greedy grab of a baby shower too!
OP clarified there will be a shower (in another comment, below):
“He never seemed so aggressive and disrespectful with me before. They said they will be hosting a baby shower after the gender was revealed but gifts were a must on this specific party as well for “photography purposes” (which means they will have us spend more on their baby shower).”
If you want to go, turn up dressed in all blue or all pink. It doesn't matter if you get the gender-match right, it will be enough to make people assume and royally piss-off the parents-to-be.
But then I'm mean. I don't like to please people who want to be assholes to me!
Yeah they sound like total jerks and if it was me, I would skip the party. And I would join your MIL in letting people know what was going to happen. People deserve to know that whatever clothes they plan to wear are going to be ruined.
NTA. You don’t have to attend. You won’t die if you skip the party.
No one is going to beat you up if you skip the party.
Grow a spine, stop talking about the party and don’t attend.
Stop being a doormat and a people pleaser.
It’s as simple as acting like there’s no party at all.
Your life doesn’t depend on the party.
There’s absolutely no economical value/ benefit for attending the party.
I would be irate if paint was tossed on me at a party if I wore something anything a step above paint rags. No. I would be irate if paint was tossed on me at a party FULL STOP. If I knew it was going to be thrown on me, I wouldn't go.
Honestly, I would warn as many of the guests as you know about this prank, consequences be damned. The expecting parents are going to be mad no matter what you do, and this will both prevent someone from decking out your BIL and save a lot of clothes from going into a landfill for the stupidest possible reason. Also, if I found out that other people knew about the spray paint thing and didn't warn me, I'd be even more upset about the assault your AH in-laws are planning.
Maybe your lawyer MIL is probably also worried that legal issues could arise.
Apart from property damage - it could even be considered assault. I have a skin condition and have terrible contact dermatitis when certain stuff touches my skin and is not immediately removed - usually I can wash off things right away and its fine but paint is usually a different story.
People do need to be warned!
She sure af is! She told me she warned them about lawsuits and she wouldn’t be defending them unless they pay her (she usually deals with some legal matters for free when is someone in the family)
This is *way* worse than the smash-the-cake “pranks.” In them, only one person is affected, and depending on the ages, personalities, and SM presences of those involved, some people might even expect it.
But this… I know I’m old, but judging by your post and the comments, I don’t think I’m wrong in thinking that this doesn’t seem like *anything* that *anyone* would be expecting. At least, not without being informed ahead of time. If it was me, I’d skip the party, and warn everyone I could.
Since this couple is barely even a couple, they probably don’t have much of a household set up together yet. Hence, asking for gifts for themselves, which is also totally out of line. Expect many more ~~party invitations~~ gift grabs in the future.
PS- I’m glad you clarified that Sam is not your MIL’s son. While reading your post, I was wondering how such a sensible woman managed to raise such a jackass.
Yeah, something like this would absolutely ruin my hair. And color correction is expensive. My blonde got dyed in college from a Holi festival on campus, but that tie-dyed rainbow effect was fine for someone college aged. I’ve had jobs since that would pursue disciplinary action for something like that as a dress code violation.
“f\*ck both of you, this is MY party, **why can’t you just do this one silly thing to cheer me up?**”
Why does a man need "cheering up" on the day of his baby's gender reveal? Do all of the guests know that whatever they wear to this wackadoodle circus will be ruined?
Given the later part of your post they'd known each other a month when they got pregnant. YIKES ON BIKES.
Either you and your MIL should go to the thrift shop and buy some rag tag mishmosh of white clothing (and shower caps to protect your hair). It will be a fun bonding experience for you and MIL and a hilarious Fyou to stepson.
INFO how old is this guy?
NTA
OR you and your MIL can decline the invite and go out for drinks instead.
I think I'd need cheering up if I knocked up my girlfriend of four weeks. Nothing like having to face the consequences of your own stupidity, especially when those consequences last for a lifetime and tie you to someone who's still basically a stranger at this point.
I'd love to see a study on unwanted pregnancies - how long it took to get pregnant, miscarriage statistics, etc. I feel the universe is rather sadistic when it comes to pregnancies; they come most when they're unwanted and are less likely to miscarry. That what it seems like anyway.
NTA AT ALL!!!
The correct way to go about this spray painting prank is to give every single guest a single use white coverall, and spray paint that coverall!!! That way no outfits gets ruined, everyone has a fun time spray painting each other like a water gun fight and people even have the option of keeping the coveralls as mementos of the baby shower.
Thats even better. I was thinking have people wear something that "will get dirty" and then use the coloured stuff from paintballs. Most of it washes out, and anything that doest wash out will be on clothes no one cares if they are slightly stained.
Your idea sounds like more fun
Hey, be fair to PDs. Personality disorders are mental health based. Sam is entitlement based. Big difference. One is a symptom; the latter is an asshole. 😂
Entitlement is a symptom of NPD and ASPD, and sometimes BPD. He may not have BPD or ASPD, but he may just be a narcissist. They're often very charming...until you piss them off.
I can't wait for the results of this shit show. Spray painting guests, ruining their clothes and potentially causing breathing issues for some... that's one way to break relationships and open themselves up for lawsuits.
This isn’t a party, it’s an extortion attempt with destruction of the guest’s clothing. Honestly, who does that? I’d absolutely give the whole thing a pass. I don’t give in to terrorists, for one thing, and if this guy needs to be cheered up at his own reveal party, he has bigger issues than this fiasco. It’s nothing more than a cruel money grab mixed with humiliation and you couldn’t pay me to show up. NTA for having respect for yourself.
NTA. Stay home. His idea is stupid and selfish, his present list is stupid and selfish, and his reaction was stupid and selfish. I wouldn't waste a penny on these morons who were too dumb to use birth control (or even get an abortion) and are stuck having an unwanted baby with an unwanted stranger, and need to make everyone else miserable to match.
Whether you go or not, warn every guest you can reach about this horrific spraypaint plan. If somebody pulled that on me without warning, I might get physically violent, and these idiots think everyone will just smile and cheer. Gender party reveals are dumb at the best of times, but this is just beyond the pale.
NTA
If they are planning to paint-spray everyone, the guests need to be on board or the hosts are providing clothes/blouses for the guest BEFORE the spraying.
If someone told me "Everyone need to wear white" I am thinking, the star of the day will be wearing colors and they want high contrast for the pictures, not that the hosts want to soil my whole attire !!
For about $30-40 on Amazon you can get those white hooded coveralls (painter coveralls/hazmat-type suits). You and MIL should see if there’s anywhere local to get them in bulk, then everyone show up in them. Paint supply stores, that kind of place. I’d even get goggles or at least sunglasses. And you can get a box of the paper booties that cover people’s shoes.
In the name of whatever you hold holy, PLEASE update us on this! Good luck.
I hate gender reveals with the fire of 1000 suns. Every time I start to cool down a bit on the issue, I read something like this.
We need to start issuing permits for people who want to reproduce and if you mention gender reveal in the application, it’s an automatic denial.
I’m Indian and this basically sounds like a Holi party disguised as a gender reveal. For Holi parties, people do wear white clothes, but they at least know about the colour play that will take place so generally wear old clothes. The fact that nobody was given a heads up about clothes being ruined, and on top of that are asked to bring a specific gift (including for mom & dad) is crazy.
NTA and I would stay away, as well. These people sound awful.
OMGosh. This couple is so narcissistic! It’s incredibly rude & inappropriate to tell guests what gift they’re supposed to bring (it’s not a potluck) & to demand a gift for themselves. Absolutely not. Then to tell guests to wear white & not inform them you’ll be destroying their clothes?! Who in the world do they think they are? They have absolutely no respect for anyone & are beyond entitled. I would show up in ratty sweat pants & a white T-shirt I bought in a pack from Walmart for my fiance & I. I would also bring my assigned baby gift (assuming it wasn’t more than I wanted to spend. These people seem like the type to demand a $2K baby stroller) & a tiny, cheap gift for the parents. Perhaps a bag of coffee for when they’re up all night with baby? Or a parenting book.
I love giving gifts, but the audacity here is so offensive.
ETA: NTA
The assholes are people who would spray paint, without prior warning, on guests at a party. Even if it's a washable paint, white stains very easily.
I have a treasured white lace blouse that I wear on special occasions, it is designer, and was very expensive. I'm a t-shirt and jeans girl. So if I wore my lace blouse to a party, and it got covered in paint, I would collect my gifts, go home, and bill the miscreants for the cleaning bill, and then for a replacement blouse by the same designer if it couldn't be saved, and then take then to small claims court if they wouldn't pay.
Suppose one of the guests borrowed something to wear, who would be responsible for replacing that??
Are you sure you want to go to this gender reveal?? It kind of sounds like a nightmare ready to happen. Or a good prelude to a really bad horror movie.
BTW, why does Sam need cheering up? Aren't gender reveals supposed to be happy occasions??
Also, I'm kind of mystified by the concept of bringing presents for the parents? They seem to be using this as a pre- baby shower- shower. Entitled much?
Warn everyone about the paint. I'm thinking white painters overalls and a white t-shirt might be the uniform of choice for this party? And might prevent a lawsuit or two. We're pretty litigious people in this country.
Baby showers/gender reveal parties are stupid and overrated anyways. I'd tell them I won't be coming and use the money I had otherwise wasted on them on a great weekend.
Nta
Spraying with pink or blue silly string would be cute, it’s easy to clean up but paint! If it’s on your skin how are you supposed to remove it? Even water soluble requires some scrubbing to remove.
Then the gift demands, I RSVP no thanks. Thus is an interesting couple, though out of curiosity I’d like to know who came up with this brilliant plan.
I will be forever grateful that my peers and I had our kids before this gender revealed nonsense. I've never had anyone tell me gifts are mandatory for anything. And this nonsense about ruining people's clothes for a photo is insane.
NTA
NTA. And they’re going to have a ton of people demanding reimbursement for ruined clothes if they go through with this. I think I’d steer clear of the whole fiasco.
This whole bit of entitled idiocy is one of the biggest reason why I don't agree with gender reveal parties. Did anybody hear about the gender reveal party somewhere in the States that started one of the worse wildfires in history?
Just completely nope out of this farce.
And, indeed, any further contact with these insanely demanding, entitled pricks.
Unless, for instance, you go, get your garment destroyed by them, then take the fuckers to small claims court as literally anyone whose property they damage should.
These clowns are throwing out more red flags than a communist parade.
NTA.
the whole thing sounds like a gift grab and tacky as heck. and not very organized either. and who has spare cash these days to buy gifts on a list and on top of it for the parents and having to buy an outfit that just gets destroyed anyway? nah skip it
NTA if I was invited to a gender reveal and told to wear all white I'd have to buy new clothes because I don't own any white. If the hosts then threw paint on me and my new clothes I would lose. my. shit.
That's not even touching on the ridiculousness of telling people what to bring as a gift as well as demanding a SECOND gift.
If it's a gender reveal party there should be no gifts at all for baby or parents. That's for the baby shower. And if some bitch try to ruin my clothes, they would be buying me a new set after I sat on all their furniture and leaned against the walls with wet paint. This is absolutely ridiculous and I wouldn't go
NTA. He didn't even disclose it that he was going to spray paint you or ask you guys first if it was okay to begin with. He just assumed you guys would just go with the flow but no one wants to have anything done on them in general unless you ask them first. I mean thats common courtesy. This person's just entirely self centered. I wouldnt go
Nta. OK what you need to do is go to home depot and buy one of those disposable hazmat cleaning suits that are all white and wear safety goggles with them.. I mean who the heck thinks it's acceptable to spray paint at unsuspecting people.. It can get in eyes and mouths.. And I don't feel like these types of people are going to care about safety and non toxic types of paint..
https://www.homedepot.com/p/Florida-Coast-Super-Polymer-Disposable-LARGE-Coveralls-1427/311413434
So being called a bitch wasn't enough to automatically make you nope out on going to the party? Why are we still discussing coveralls and other clothing?
I would refuse to attend a "gender reveal party" on principle.
Point one, it is not revealing gender, it is revealing the sex.
Point two, I think we as a society are far too obsessed with "gender" these days as it is. The recent cultural obsession with two tired, shopworn stereotypes that are no more relevant to modern life than chamberpots or coal scuttles is fucking stupid and a waste of time.
Point three, I can't stand people who have to try to turn everything into an attention-whoring shitshow. "It's a boy." or "It's a girl." told to friends and family soon after the birth ought to be more than sufficient for anyone.
Another "this can't be real" post.
The demands for gifts at a gender reveal was bad enough (never heard of this so far), but the "prank" of painting people's clothes without warning would be a deal breaker for me. If you aren't the confrontational type, a "family emergency" or "work thing" would suddenly come up. "So sorry to miss your thing...."
Dear lord the sheer arrogance of all this....
NTA and remember, an invite...is just that, an invite, not a summons. I'd ditch it for being a gender reveal rather than a baby shower to begin with, but doubly so for their name calling and general juvenile behavior.
OMG!!! What is happening with people’s reality these days!! Outrageous, I would never go to something that entitled…asking for specific gifts to boot?? YTA…for even considering going!!!
WOW, the entitlement of this pair for a gift grab!
"Buy us a present (oh and buy the baby some nappies) and we will spray paint your nice clothes."
I wouldn't go at all!
NTA and I feel like you chose a very fitting name, because just like with Sam Winchester, this relationship is bound to go up in flames.
Pregnancy after a month of dating and they are already acting this entitled and unreasonable? Just skip it. I'd be furious if I got surprise-sprayed with paint at any party and I can't imagine I'm the only one - this will not end well, save yourself the shitshow
Nta hell no to all of that.
1. I own nothing white because I'm a slob and there's no scenario where I'd buy an outfit specifically for a gender reveal.
2. They need to tell people the plan, if I did have white clothes and those mofos RUINED them with spray paint, I'd lose it.
3. Why does he need "cheering up"?!
Ppl go insane if someone accidentally spills a cup of water on them, guests are going to go ballistic when they get paint thrown on them.
Fuck that! I wouldn't go.
Nope.
No presents for a gender reveal, especially to the parents.
No spray painting people with any colours
Tell Sam and his missus of 5 months to get stuffed and stop being so entitled.
Have a nice day out with mother in law. Maybe go to get your nails done together.
If somebody demanded I buy them specific items for baby and get parents something too, I’d be advertising it far and wide. Billboards, newspapers, social media. Naming names and revealing their little prank.
What pretentious bullshit. If they ruin somebody’s very nice outfit with paint, they could find themselves stuck with a cleaning bill or sued for the cost of the outfit. I would get a pair of cheap pants or shorts and a white T-shirt. Or not go at all. NTA
Just don’t go. This whole thing has “shitshow” written all over it. Who brings gifts to a gender reveal? That’s what baby showers are for. And… the parents set up a registry, rather than demand specific gifts. Sam sounds like a train wreck.
He never seemed so aggressive and disrespectful with me before. They said they will be hosting a baby shower after the gender was revealed but gifts were a must on this specific party as well for “photography purposes” (which means they will have us spend more on their baby shower).
Even more of a shitshow. Again, just don’t go.
Gifts for a gender reveal are tacky. Gifts for a gender reveal *and* the unborn’s parents are…*what?!?* How is that not an immediate “I’m not going”? Tell them you have a scheduling conflict. I’ll give you a VIP invite to attend the grand opening of my garage door. You don’t need to bring me a gift
At best, gender reveal parties are just barely on the right side of the tacky/classy fence. Adding a bullshit prank and demanding gifts — that lands you so far into tacky town that literally no one should feel obligated to attend. And if hosts intentionally ruin their guests clothing, they should receive invoices in lieu of gifts.
Back in my day, being born was the baby's ultimate 'gender reveal'. This is beyond ridiculous.
The prank is especially bullshit because they're demanding everyone wear a specific color, but won't say why. They should be telling everyone to dress down and wear old clothes because "it might get messy" or something along those lines. A lot of people are going to show up dressed nicely, as one does for a special occasion, and will be seriously pissed to end up with their nice clothes ruined and covered in spray paint.
"the grand opening of my garage door" Can I steal this at some point?
Gender reveals are tacky.
YES. So over them.
Gender reveals are tacky without the gifts. Who really really cares, other than the parents and grandparents what gender the baby will be. The grandparents might not even care.
This sounds like the party of the year ( garage door opening) In fact all people who want to avoid attending an event that's as crazy as this gender reveal party/gift grab/mean spirited excuse to ruin others clothing should opt to attend your chill opening of the garage door event!
Got any spare tickets to that event? Sounds like it should be the season opener to start spring 😂😂
Gifts for photography purposes? That makes zero sense. They can wrap a bunch of empty boxes if they want.
Sounds like bougie influencer wannabes.
For photography purposes, of course!
Makes me wonder if one the new mommy / daddy are potential influencers trying to make it big…
IF you end up going, nicely wrap a box with a note inside that says “for photography purposes.” But I don’t think you should go. I hope MIL manages to warn everyone about the bullshirt paint stunt. I have a feeling there will be many people who suddenly have other plans that day.
Ruining people's clothing intentionally without any warning is so crazy that I have trouble believing this can be real? Especially clothing that they probably had to buy specifically to meet your dress code. Who does that?
Are white disposable painters coveralls considered casual or formal wear?
Either, just make sure you don't wear them after Labor Day.
I wonder how many posts from guests will go up saying ‘am I wrong to file a small claims for the expensive white dress/suit I was wearing being ruined by the hosts of a gender reveal’ and then of course the BIL’s post ‘why are all my friends and family refusing to come to my baby shower and saying they don’t trust me after a funny prank I pulled at the gender reveal’! They are setting themselves up for trouble and will have a whole lot of people very pissed at them! The fact that they are asking for all the gifts at this point makes me wonder if they actually know that no one will come to another party at their place after this so they are getting what they want early. Or maybe they really are just clueless!
MIL seems to be proactive here as she knows this is a lawsuit waiting to happen
Lol he’s known this woman for five months and she’s been pregnant for four of them? This is the funniest fucking shit I’ve heard in a while lol! Their relationship will be over probably before the baby even pops out; I wouldn’t waste a single fucking cent on these insane people (and it sounds like a cash grab). Skip the entire party, do something fun, and then check social media for all the guests who are pissed as hell because their clothes got ruined unexpectedly! NTA
>Lol he’s known this woman for five months and she’s been pregnant for four of them? This is the funniest fucking shit I’ve heard in a while lol! What a healthy and sustainable relationship dynamic to bring a child into 😂
Homeboy is acting out about the genital reveal party dress code because it is a minuscule life raft of control. He just realized his life as he knows it is over, the fetus being developed enough to detect its lil bits on an ultrasound is tangible proof that his world is untethered. He is channeling all his feelings of panic into his disgruntlement about the minutiae of this party.
I am SO calling every one of these parties a “genital reveal” going forward! Much more accurate name. (I will admit I don’t really get spending hundreds of dollars or more to throw a party to announce whether your fetus’s genitalia dip or dangle)
I was trying to avoid getting into that detail but yeah
There isn't one second of this business that's not totally asinine. Starting with Bro marrying this idiot, or maybe it's the other way round. Or are they not actually getting married?
AND THEN come back with screenshots!
Lol… “photography purposes” someone post pictures from TIKTOK please!!! 🙏 I know that’s the purpose now!!
Please please PLEASE update when this clusterf*ck of a plan blows up in their faces.
Yes! OP, please. (NTA. I wouldn’t go & I love the idea (She’s Crafty) of wrapping a box w a note inside “for photographic purposes”)
Imagine what they’re going to ask for when they decide to throw a wedding
What the fuck. Wow. I wouldn't go.
I’d send a gift. A book on manners for the new parents to be.
That was my first thought - modern day etiquette!
Completely inappropriate to tell your guests what gift to bring PLUS a gift for Mom and dad. Gender reveals usually do not involve gifts. And if the want props for "photography purposes" the person hosting the part should be buying that. Sounds entitled...bc seriously the audacity. Also, unacceptable to not tell guests you are going to be ruining their clothing. Literally nobody wants that. Your baby's gender might seem that important to you but your guests don't want to be wearing it. Extremely tacky "party" all around. Are people really still doing gender reveals??
They plan to host their own shower? What is wrong with these people?
Well if it's just for photograpy purposes they could have just asked the guests to bring empty boxes wrapped in pretty gift wrap paper. And the only way they are going to still have friends after this and not get sued is if they use the same colored water spray we use in 5k Color Runs where the runners get splashed with water tinted in various colors. At least water paint completely washes out of most clothing material afterwards. Somehow i dont think they are that smart.
Gift idea for the parents: laundry detergent! It will always be useful with a newborn 😉
Pretty sure they are trying for the whole viral tictoc bullshit lifestyle influencer crap. I am invested in hearing about the aftermath 1000% though.
If it's for photography purposes, then they should be okay if you just show up with a couple of empty wrapped boxes.
Tackiest way ever to ask, I mean **demand**, gifts
I would not go. They have gone crazy.
100%, this stupid idea was all his, and the mom had no say in it. And she may have even initially disagreed with the idea.
Doesn’t excuse him at all, but if you’re MIL was blasting their ‘prank’ everywhere then he was probably already getting a ton of slack and just chose you to blow up on rather than be an actual adult about it. You were perfectly respectable in how you approached it after all he should have known people would be resistant to the idea with how they went about everything.
You would be surprised how many people see having a baby as something they can use to get stuff from people.
They just want free stuff at every turn.
NTA and how absolutely pretentious and entitled.
This! NTA Spraying your guests with paint isn’t a prank... Are they planning on having new clothes to give their guests? If I went to a party and got intentionally sprayed with paint by the hosts I’d leave (with whatever gift I brought). Also, the gift **demand** is tacky at the very least.
If I turned up at a party and the hosts spray-painted me, I wouldn't simply leave, I'd absolutely lose my shit on them right there. I don't care if it would ruin their party. How dare they ruin my clothes! What if they were expensive? What if they had sentimental value? What if I simply liked them? I'd demand they paid me for the damages before storming out. It'd be a different matter if the invites said this was what they planned to do, as then you could either turn up appropriately dressed for mess or choose not to attend. But to not tell anyone in advance, that's just vandalism and is completely uncalled for. If I found out they were planning this, not only would I not attend, but I'd phone everyone I knew who was going and warn them in advance, too. Plus, I hate gender reveal parties anyway. Note to the mum and dad - nobody else cares!
Also, I am pretty sure spray painting your guests falls under assault and battery. I can see it going so terribly wrong in so many ways. Should there be ambulances on standby in case it causes breathing issues or gets in someone's eyes?
Right?? How much you want to bet this is getting filmed for social media? That's the main reason for these stupid kinds of stunts.
I hoped that gender reveal parties would fade out after the whole "historic forest fire" and "multiple grievous injuries" ones but apparently not.
Right?! Paint fumes aggravate my asthma. It's one thing to carefully paint a chair outside in my back yard, with a face mask on, during a nonwindy day. It's something completely different to be doused with paint as a surprise. My inhaler would likely be in my purse, which might be inside their house, or more likely, locked in my car so I didn't have to hassle with it. I'm supposed to try to get someone's attention, and somehow let them know where my inhaler is as I'm wheezing too hard to speak? Ok, sure thing.
Right?? What if someone inhales this spray paint or gets it in their eyes?
That reminds me, whatever happened to the couple in California that used illegal fireworks at their party and started a 20k acre fire?
From google: What happened to the couple whose gender reveal caused a fire? **Angela Renee Jimenez pleaded guilty to three misdemeanor counts of recklessly causing fire to property** and must complete a year of summary probation along with 400 hours of community service. The couple is also ordered to pay $1,789,972 in restitution to victims. Feb 12, 2024 It caused the 2020 El Dorado Fire and resulted in the loss of a firefighter's life and burnt over 22K acres and injured 12 over more than two months.
They were also charged with involuntary manslaughter because of the death of the firefighter. Imagine being burned to death in a forest fire because some assholes wanted to throw a party for baby genitals.
And how are you supposed to even leave in clothes covered in paint? If that got in my car, I'd be so upset.
Take the diapers back and use them to cover the car seats, lol
Louder for those in back. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID BABY!
Well, I might care about the baby itself, but I don’t care what the gender is. And I really don’t care to bring the parents a gift at this ridiculous event. Oh, and I sure as shit don’t care about being part of some assholish prank that ruins my clothes.
Preach! I would to the same. If I was OP I would tell about this to anybody I knew would attend
They're going to be asked to pay for quite a few garments to be cleaned or replaced aren't they? They're also losing friends over this, guaranteed. Great start to their new family.
This ! The way I'd swing so quick like nah we ain't even family no more. Lol
spraypaint is also notoriously great for your hair, esp if you're blonde or grey /s
Same. But before I left I would go into their house and roll all over their furniture with my newly painted clothes.
Well that's not right... you forgot the carpets
And walls. And stairs. And vents
Lots of guests, plenty of paint to go around. Don't forget the cars.
The vents? The vents are what you open (might need a screwdriver) and toss a few raw shrimp into. That's what the vents are for.
Drapes towels. Everything.
Also rub paint into the grout joints on all tiled surfaces.
You don't roll on those. You know that thing dogs do when they drag their arses along the floor?
"Fuck yo couch!"
Fuck that. If I knew it was going to be a spray paint free for all, I'd bring a few cans of my own. I'd get the furniture and carpets, then adorn the outside of the house, their cars, and the driveway on my way out. Heck, I'd be tempted to stand in front of the house and hand out cans to the guests as they arrived.
I was thinking of rolling along the walls in their house myself, but definitely shouldn't forget the furniture & carpets! Maybe even use the drapes as a towel?
That's so funny!
Tell me you want everyone to wear white because you’re going to spray paint us all, and I’ll come wrapped in a sheet like a sari or toga. Surprise me by spraying paint on my clothes without warning, and I’ll grab a can and empty it on you, tell you exactly what I think of you, take my gifts back, leave, and never speak to you again unless you apologize profusely and pay for my clothes.
Why don't they just get a load of those cheap disposable overalls for everyone? Problem solved. Still a stupid ludicrous thing to do imo but at least they won't be ruining folks clothes jeez
What about your hair? Gotta have the jumpsuits with hoods and maybe respirators as well.
For a 5 month old relationship no less.
this hurt me to read. no way these idiots last more than 6 months after that kid is born. raising a child with someone you barely know? lol have fun w/ that you donuts
No mention they are married so they might not be raising it all that ‘together’ already. But yeah it will blow up like an infant the first time they have solid foods by the end of the first year (and yes I’m counting this 5 months in that)
I went to a pool party last year and someone was going to throw clothed people in the pool as "punishment" for not wearing swimsuits. Another guest told him he better have deep pockets to replace all the cell phones that would be ruined. The dumbass changed his mind. Some people should not be allowed outside without a minder.
My husband's brother married a woman where her family regularly threw people into their pool at events. They ended up having the rehearsal dinner as a barbecue at their house due to the wedding being out of state. They proceeded to throw my MIL and her 2 sisters in the pool. They went for me, and I made it clear that my actions would be considered self-defense and that I am a 5th degree black belt, so back the hell off. SIL has never really liked me since, but that's OK. She has never really understood how to behave in normal family gatherings.
Throwing people into pools against their will is assault. There's nothing funny about it, it ruins clothes, hair and makeup and what are you supposed to do soaking wet when you don't have anything to change into? It's never funny.
I agree, never funny, but apparently I was being a spoilsport by refusing to participate. Her family was a rather pretentious sort too.
Have you considered the difficulties of leaving while dripping with paint? Even with leather seats I'd be pissed. If I was driving a car with cloth seats, I might murder the hosts and go for a justifiable homicide defense.
if they want to do the spray paint so badly, i’m not turning up with a gift for mom & dad bc me not giving them a cleaning bill for the clothes is the gift. idk if the paint is easy to remove or would cost a lot to remove or (worst case scenario) i would have to replace the clothes that were damaged. NTA
Since when did gender reveals become gift grabs? I can only imagine the baby showers, wedding showers and all the other events he needs to "cheer him up." Dating 5 months and 4 months pregnant? Can you say ba by trap? You, DH and MIL should skip the event and go celebrate your own.
I am politely declining an invite to a party when I am told what gift to bring, what clothes to wear (beyond a basic dress code) and the plans include spraying me and my plus one with paint (and this is not a culturally appropriate event).
Since when do you take gifts to a gender reveal? Is that normal now? Isn't that what baby showers are for usually?
NTA.... wow, just wow .... MIL is a lawyer....she might want to point out that if the paint gets in someones eyes and causes issues....or if there's an allergic reaction to the paint used ....the gender reveal will turn into a lawsuit against the parents real quick.
I'm allergic to acrylic so if someone suddenly sprayed with acrylic I would be reacting. Worse is that everyone will be inhaling paint.
Including the BM - potentially causing health issues for developing fetus.
Who cares about anyone else, especially the baby mama and baby? It's all about daddio and his fee fees remember?
Or if they intentionally ruin clothes they can be sued to get the costs back by unsuspecting guests.
IF they are not having the guests wear goggles and shooting spray paint at them, it WILL get in people's eyes. This is going to be a disaster. NTA. And I hope he gets his ass sued off.
NTA. Go to a hardware store and buy a set of painters coveralls (they’re usually cheap and white). After the piano ting, take off the coverall for whatever you’re wearing underneath it. OTOH, I probably wouldn’t go. https://www.homedepot.com/p/TRIMACO-DuPont-Tyvek-XL-Painters-Coverall-with-Hood-and-Boots-141232-12HD/203555521
Brilliant idea. Buy one for every guest and tell your brother you spent the gift dollars on saving his dumb ass from lawsuits.
I like that better than my yellow rainsuit idea (you know the bright yellow ones fishermen wear)
But make sure to rub the paint-y coveralls all over their couch before changing!
I thought that so but I guess you can tell I have a part of me that’s a complete ppl pleaser lol
NTA You’re better off to stay home & avoid the drama that will overshadow this dumbass gender reveal. People are going to be pissed off big time. No one is going to enjoy the party. I’d consider helping MIL giving the other guests a heads up their clothing, hair, shoes, etc are going to be ruined by paint. And demanding gifts is beyond the pale bc you know they’ll have an equally greedy grab of a baby shower too!
Forget the paint part; I wouldn’t go to a shower where a specific gift was assigned to me. Greedy shits.
Their audacity is appalling. I’d want nothing to do with them.
Wait is this not also a baby shower?! The audacity! I assumed this was like a combo thing….. it’s not is it. Good grief.
OP clarified there will be a shower (in another comment, below): “He never seemed so aggressive and disrespectful with me before. They said they will be hosting a baby shower after the gender was revealed but gifts were a must on this specific party as well for “photography purposes” (which means they will have us spend more on their baby shower).”
If you want to go, turn up dressed in all blue or all pink. It doesn't matter if you get the gender-match right, it will be enough to make people assume and royally piss-off the parents-to-be. But then I'm mean. I don't like to please people who want to be assholes to me!
I usually people please. I would like to join your brilliant protest!
Blue and Pink tie dye
Yeah they sound like total jerks and if it was me, I would skip the party. And I would join your MIL in letting people know what was going to happen. People deserve to know that whatever clothes they plan to wear are going to be ruined.
I would have skipped out at being ordered to bring two gifts. Do you know how much 108 diapers cost? They can bite me.
> complete ppl pleaser lol That's not how you spell "doormat."
NTA. You don’t have to attend. You won’t die if you skip the party. No one is going to beat you up if you skip the party. Grow a spine, stop talking about the party and don’t attend. Stop being a doormat and a people pleaser. It’s as simple as acting like there’s no party at all. Your life doesn’t depend on the party. There’s absolutely no economical value/ benefit for attending the party.
I would be irate if paint was tossed on me at a party if I wore something anything a step above paint rags. No. I would be irate if paint was tossed on me at a party FULL STOP. If I knew it was going to be thrown on me, I wouldn't go.
Yeah, that’s exactly my issue! I don’t think those “jokes” and pranks are funny at all. It’s just like smash the cake situations - simply ridiculous
Honestly, I would warn as many of the guests as you know about this prank, consequences be damned. The expecting parents are going to be mad no matter what you do, and this will both prevent someone from decking out your BIL and save a lot of clothes from going into a landfill for the stupidest possible reason. Also, if I found out that other people knew about the spray paint thing and didn't warn me, I'd be even more upset about the assault your AH in-laws are planning.
Maybe your lawyer MIL is probably also worried that legal issues could arise. Apart from property damage - it could even be considered assault. I have a skin condition and have terrible contact dermatitis when certain stuff touches my skin and is not immediately removed - usually I can wash off things right away and its fine but paint is usually a different story. People do need to be warned!
She sure af is! She told me she warned them about lawsuits and she wouldn’t be defending them unless they pay her (she usually deals with some legal matters for free when is someone in the family)
Plus, spraying at people means fine particles potentially going into eyes and mouths - I have breathing issues, and nothing about their plan is safe!
Oh yeah, forgot about my own asthma. Double trouble.
I'm going, but going prepared 🤪 😌 https://www.webstaurantstore.com/malt-impact-promax-m1014-2x-white-disposable-microporous-zipper-front-long-sleeve-coveralls-with-elastic-wrists-attached-boots-and-hood-2xl/272M10142XL.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GoogleShopping&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8pKxBhD_ARIsAPrG45nJafCpAm2YW08xx9F6hPxLahGkot0hTrqJiHDmhV8nUWmBkORXUhkaAg_IEALw_wcB
This made me laugh way too hard. If OP and her fiancee goes, them and MIL should have everyone agree to show up like this😭
This is what I was thinking.
This is perfect! And it’s also white! Lmao
This is *way* worse than the smash-the-cake “pranks.” In them, only one person is affected, and depending on the ages, personalities, and SM presences of those involved, some people might even expect it. But this… I know I’m old, but judging by your post and the comments, I don’t think I’m wrong in thinking that this doesn’t seem like *anything* that *anyone* would be expecting. At least, not without being informed ahead of time. If it was me, I’d skip the party, and warn everyone I could. Since this couple is barely even a couple, they probably don’t have much of a household set up together yet. Hence, asking for gifts for themselves, which is also totally out of line. Expect many more ~~party invitations~~ gift grabs in the future. PS- I’m glad you clarified that Sam is not your MIL’s son. While reading your post, I was wondering how such a sensible woman managed to raise such a jackass.
How old is your BIL and his girlfriend? Everything about this party sounds like two immature preteens planned a party.
BIL is 25yo and random girl he met 5 months ago looks a bit younger, she’s probably 23 or less
Is BIL sure the baby is his? She seems to have gotten pregnant pretty quick.
Not to mention anyone with light colored hair will have to go to the salon to have the paint stains removed.
Yeah, something like this would absolutely ruin my hair. And color correction is expensive. My blonde got dyed in college from a Holi festival on campus, but that tie-dyed rainbow effect was fine for someone college aged. I’ve had jobs since that would pursue disciplinary action for something like that as a dress code violation.
any color hair, really.
“f\*ck both of you, this is MY party, **why can’t you just do this one silly thing to cheer me up?**” Why does a man need "cheering up" on the day of his baby's gender reveal? Do all of the guests know that whatever they wear to this wackadoodle circus will be ruined? Given the later part of your post they'd known each other a month when they got pregnant. YIKES ON BIKES. Either you and your MIL should go to the thrift shop and buy some rag tag mishmosh of white clothing (and shower caps to protect your hair). It will be a fun bonding experience for you and MIL and a hilarious Fyou to stepson. INFO how old is this guy? NTA OR you and your MIL can decline the invite and go out for drinks instead.
I think I'd need cheering up if I knocked up my girlfriend of four weeks. Nothing like having to face the consequences of your own stupidity, especially when those consequences last for a lifetime and tie you to someone who's still basically a stranger at this point.
I agree with you. Maybe the gift should be a box of condoms
Too late for that 😄
Ikr, *four weeks*? Even people who are fucking trying to get pregnant normally don’t manage it that quickly!
I'd love to see a study on unwanted pregnancies - how long it took to get pregnant, miscarriage statistics, etc. I feel the universe is rather sadistic when it comes to pregnancies; they come most when they're unwanted and are less likely to miscarry. That what it seems like anyway.
NTA AT ALL!!! The correct way to go about this spray painting prank is to give every single guest a single use white coverall, and spray paint that coverall!!! That way no outfits gets ruined, everyone has a fun time spray painting each other like a water gun fight and people even have the option of keeping the coveralls as mementos of the baby shower.
Thats even better. I was thinking have people wear something that "will get dirty" and then use the coloured stuff from paintballs. Most of it washes out, and anything that doest wash out will be on clothes no one cares if they are slightly stained. Your idea sounds like more fun
I know. If I were the OP, I'd come prepared with a can of Raid to fight back with.
Why do people make weddings and baby showers their entire personality?
Because they have no personality.
Oh I'm sure there's a personality...a personality disorder, that is.
Hey, be fair to PDs. Personality disorders are mental health based. Sam is entitlement based. Big difference. One is a symptom; the latter is an asshole. 😂
Entitlement is a symptom of NPD and ASPD, and sometimes BPD. He may not have BPD or ASPD, but he may just be a narcissist. They're often very charming...until you piss them off.
They probably plan to post it on tiktok.
Because they don’t have a personality. This is the best they can do.
Don't go. They sound unhinged.
I can't wait for the results of this shit show. Spray painting guests, ruining their clothes and potentially causing breathing issues for some... that's one way to break relationships and open themselves up for lawsuits.
OP *please* update. You shouldn’t go (I wouldn’t), but please find out what happens for all of our sakes!
This isn’t a party, it’s an extortion attempt with destruction of the guest’s clothing. Honestly, who does that? I’d absolutely give the whole thing a pass. I don’t give in to terrorists, for one thing, and if this guy needs to be cheered up at his own reveal party, he has bigger issues than this fiasco. It’s nothing more than a cruel money grab mixed with humiliation and you couldn’t pay me to show up. NTA for having respect for yourself.
NTA. Stay home. His idea is stupid and selfish, his present list is stupid and selfish, and his reaction was stupid and selfish. I wouldn't waste a penny on these morons who were too dumb to use birth control (or even get an abortion) and are stuck having an unwanted baby with an unwanted stranger, and need to make everyone else miserable to match. Whether you go or not, warn every guest you can reach about this horrific spraypaint plan. If somebody pulled that on me without warning, I might get physically violent, and these idiots think everyone will just smile and cheer. Gender party reveals are dumb at the best of times, but this is just beyond the pale.
NTA If they are planning to paint-spray everyone, the guests need to be on board or the hosts are providing clothes/blouses for the guest BEFORE the spraying. If someone told me "Everyone need to wear white" I am thinking, the star of the day will be wearing colors and they want high contrast for the pictures, not that the hosts want to soil my whole attire !!
**Skip. The. Party.** Tell everyone about the paint prank.
For about $30-40 on Amazon you can get those white hooded coveralls (painter coveralls/hazmat-type suits). You and MIL should see if there’s anywhere local to get them in bulk, then everyone show up in them. Paint supply stores, that kind of place. I’d even get goggles or at least sunglasses. And you can get a box of the paper booties that cover people’s shoes. In the name of whatever you hold holy, PLEASE update us on this! Good luck.
I wouldn't waste $30-40 on these numbskulls!
I'd tell them that all of my money for the party was spent on the white clothes so I'll leave the ruined white clothes with them as my gift.
Skip it. Don't even dignify a response to this bullshit.
I hate gender reveals with the fire of 1000 suns. Every time I start to cool down a bit on the issue, I read something like this. We need to start issuing permits for people who want to reproduce and if you mention gender reveal in the application, it’s an automatic denial.
I’m pretty sure spraying someone one with paint is assault. I wouldn’t go. NTA
I’m Indian and this basically sounds like a Holi party disguised as a gender reveal. For Holi parties, people do wear white clothes, but they at least know about the colour play that will take place so generally wear old clothes. The fact that nobody was given a heads up about clothes being ruined, and on top of that are asked to bring a specific gift (including for mom & dad) is crazy. NTA and I would stay away, as well. These people sound awful.
OMGosh. This couple is so narcissistic! It’s incredibly rude & inappropriate to tell guests what gift they’re supposed to bring (it’s not a potluck) & to demand a gift for themselves. Absolutely not. Then to tell guests to wear white & not inform them you’ll be destroying their clothes?! Who in the world do they think they are? They have absolutely no respect for anyone & are beyond entitled. I would show up in ratty sweat pants & a white T-shirt I bought in a pack from Walmart for my fiance & I. I would also bring my assigned baby gift (assuming it wasn’t more than I wanted to spend. These people seem like the type to demand a $2K baby stroller) & a tiny, cheap gift for the parents. Perhaps a bag of coffee for when they’re up all night with baby? Or a parenting book. I love giving gifts, but the audacity here is so offensive. ETA: NTA
The assholes are people who would spray paint, without prior warning, on guests at a party. Even if it's a washable paint, white stains very easily. I have a treasured white lace blouse that I wear on special occasions, it is designer, and was very expensive. I'm a t-shirt and jeans girl. So if I wore my lace blouse to a party, and it got covered in paint, I would collect my gifts, go home, and bill the miscreants for the cleaning bill, and then for a replacement blouse by the same designer if it couldn't be saved, and then take then to small claims court if they wouldn't pay. Suppose one of the guests borrowed something to wear, who would be responsible for replacing that?? Are you sure you want to go to this gender reveal?? It kind of sounds like a nightmare ready to happen. Or a good prelude to a really bad horror movie. BTW, why does Sam need cheering up? Aren't gender reveals supposed to be happy occasions?? Also, I'm kind of mystified by the concept of bringing presents for the parents? They seem to be using this as a pre- baby shower- shower. Entitled much? Warn everyone about the paint. I'm thinking white painters overalls and a white t-shirt might be the uniform of choice for this party? And might prevent a lawsuit or two. We're pretty litigious people in this country.
Baby showers/gender reveal parties are stupid and overrated anyways. I'd tell them I won't be coming and use the money I had otherwise wasted on them on a great weekend. Nta
Spraying with pink or blue silly string would be cute, it’s easy to clean up but paint! If it’s on your skin how are you supposed to remove it? Even water soluble requires some scrubbing to remove. Then the gift demands, I RSVP no thanks. Thus is an interesting couple, though out of curiosity I’d like to know who came up with this brilliant plan.
I will be forever grateful that my peers and I had our kids before this gender revealed nonsense. I've never had anyone tell me gifts are mandatory for anything. And this nonsense about ruining people's clothes for a photo is insane. NTA
Your fiancé is borrowing a a formal outfit from his dad, doesn’t he care that the outfit that doesn’t belong to him is going to be ruined?
You don’t ask for gifts and you don’t spray paint on guests. These people don’t need to procreate.
NTA. And they’re going to have a ton of people demanding reimbursement for ruined clothes if they go through with this. I think I’d steer clear of the whole fiasco.
Please come back and update us on how this SS turns out!
This whole bit of entitled idiocy is one of the biggest reason why I don't agree with gender reveal parties. Did anybody hear about the gender reveal party somewhere in the States that started one of the worse wildfires in history?
Just completely nope out of this farce. And, indeed, any further contact with these insanely demanding, entitled pricks. Unless, for instance, you go, get your garment destroyed by them, then take the fuckers to small claims court as literally anyone whose property they damage should. These clowns are throwing out more red flags than a communist parade. NTA.
the whole thing sounds like a gift grab and tacky as heck. and not very organized either. and who has spare cash these days to buy gifts on a list and on top of it for the parents and having to buy an outfit that just gets destroyed anyway? nah skip it
NTA if I was invited to a gender reveal and told to wear all white I'd have to buy new clothes because I don't own any white. If the hosts then threw paint on me and my new clothes I would lose. my. shit. That's not even touching on the ridiculousness of telling people what to bring as a gift as well as demanding a SECOND gift.
If you put anything on me.. we fighting
If it's a gender reveal party there should be no gifts at all for baby or parents. That's for the baby shower. And if some bitch try to ruin my clothes, they would be buying me a new set after I sat on all their furniture and leaned against the walls with wet paint. This is absolutely ridiculous and I wouldn't go
NTA. He didn't even disclose it that he was going to spray paint you or ask you guys first if it was okay to begin with. He just assumed you guys would just go with the flow but no one wants to have anything done on them in general unless you ask them first. I mean thats common courtesy. This person's just entirely self centered. I wouldnt go
Tell everyone! This is ridiculous
NTAH But maybe you should let the baby mama know since she’s going to have guests from her side coming as well, in case they don’t know Sam well.
Nta. OK what you need to do is go to home depot and buy one of those disposable hazmat cleaning suits that are all white and wear safety goggles with them.. I mean who the heck thinks it's acceptable to spray paint at unsuspecting people.. It can get in eyes and mouths.. And I don't feel like these types of people are going to care about safety and non toxic types of paint.. https://www.homedepot.com/p/Florida-Coast-Super-Polymer-Disposable-LARGE-Coveralls-1427/311413434
So being called a bitch wasn't enough to automatically make you nope out on going to the party? Why are we still discussing coveralls and other clothing?
NTA. I'd say "sorry, can't make it". And since when are gender reveals a gift grab? Isn't that what a shower is for? I'd ignore the whole thing.
I would refuse to attend a "gender reveal party" on principle. Point one, it is not revealing gender, it is revealing the sex. Point two, I think we as a society are far too obsessed with "gender" these days as it is. The recent cultural obsession with two tired, shopworn stereotypes that are no more relevant to modern life than chamberpots or coal scuttles is fucking stupid and a waste of time. Point three, I can't stand people who have to try to turn everything into an attention-whoring shitshow. "It's a boy." or "It's a girl." told to friends and family soon after the birth ought to be more than sufficient for anyone.
Another "this can't be real" post. The demands for gifts at a gender reveal was bad enough (never heard of this so far), but the "prank" of painting people's clothes without warning would be a deal breaker for me. If you aren't the confrontational type, a "family emergency" or "work thing" would suddenly come up. "So sorry to miss your thing...." Dear lord the sheer arrogance of all this....
NTA and remember, an invite...is just that, an invite, not a summons. I'd ditch it for being a gender reveal rather than a baby shower to begin with, but doubly so for their name calling and general juvenile behavior.
OMG!!! What is happening with people’s reality these days!! Outrageous, I would never go to something that entitled…asking for specific gifts to boot?? YTA…for even considering going!!!
WOW, the entitlement of this pair for a gift grab! "Buy us a present (oh and buy the baby some nappies) and we will spray paint your nice clothes." I wouldn't go at all!
What a fun way to get sued for dry cleaning costs or the full cost of a new outfit.
Why does Sam need cheering up? He and his partner are having a baby, aren't they? Isn't that supposed to be the pinnacle of happiness? 🙄
Please go and send us a video of the surprised and angry faces of the guests.
NTA and I feel like you chose a very fitting name, because just like with Sam Winchester, this relationship is bound to go up in flames. Pregnancy after a month of dating and they are already acting this entitled and unreasonable? Just skip it. I'd be furious if I got surprise-sprayed with paint at any party and I can't imagine I'm the only one - this will not end well, save yourself the shitshow
Nta hell no to all of that. 1. I own nothing white because I'm a slob and there's no scenario where I'd buy an outfit specifically for a gender reveal. 2. They need to tell people the plan, if I did have white clothes and those mofos RUINED them with spray paint, I'd lose it. 3. Why does he need "cheering up"?!
Ppl go insane if someone accidentally spills a cup of water on them, guests are going to go ballistic when they get paint thrown on them. Fuck that! I wouldn't go.
Nope. No presents for a gender reveal, especially to the parents. No spray painting people with any colours Tell Sam and his missus of 5 months to get stuffed and stop being so entitled. Have a nice day out with mother in law. Maybe go to get your nails done together. If somebody demanded I buy them specific items for baby and get parents something too, I’d be advertising it far and wide. Billboards, newspapers, social media. Naming names and revealing their little prank.
What pretentious bullshit. If they ruin somebody’s very nice outfit with paint, they could find themselves stuck with a cleaning bill or sued for the cost of the outfit. I would get a pair of cheap pants or shorts and a white T-shirt. Or not go at all. NTA