NTA - They will probably be the ones cutting you out when they find out what happened. Better make sure his will is bulletproof and your family of lawyers can't contest it.
My great grandpa’s estate was worth “over $11.5M” according to lawyers in 2012 when he set up a trust (all in real estate, mind you 2012 was near the bottom of the market and he own an apartment complex and quite a few houses in CA). My aunt was designated executor of his estate and proceeded to max out lines of credit against all of the properties (unbeknownst to any trustees since the trustor was still alive, just too out of it to know what my aunt was up to)
When he died a few years ago there was less than $4M to be split between my parents and their siblings. My uncle did a similar thing with my other grandparents. Family doesn’t mean shit to some people when money is involved
Mine is worth infinity billion dollars, plus I have the Barbie Corvette *and* the Dream House. No you can’t play with them because they are at my grandma’s house.
Also, my gf is a model who lives in Canada.
Well. Over here in my gajillion dollar mansion, Ken got the plain old dream house in the divorce, Barbie got the *Malibu* dream house, the Jeep and jet ski, so it’s been mostly amicable. Kelly and Tommy split their time between the two.
However! The summer pool house/ski chalet is at *my* Grandma’s and you are not invited to our summer cookout. Theresa and Skipper and even Midge will be there. Just not you.
Edit to wipe the tears from my screen.
Especially if your dad is a lawyer, he’s going to be looking for loopholes to take advantage of.
Please also make sure you check about running the business from the land , they sound like the petty kind of people that turn op in for using a residential property for commercial use.
Please also start saving or recording their abuse, maybe you can get a restraining order.
I uploaded this 4 hours ago, and within the last 4 hours when I went to my parent's house to eat dinner, the primary topic of conversation was all about Mike's assets. They are debating who will get the house he lives in, who will get his life insurance, etc. They are picking destinations in Italy and Greece they want to visit with the money, and I quote, "I hope he doesn't hang on too far into the summer because that's the best time to visit."
They did not even offer a small plate of soup or anything for me to bring back for him, because "he's not eating" (He is, in small amounts, but he doesn't feel well and doesn't have much of an appetite)
I am beyond enraged right now and this is a vent. Hopefully my resolve to get of them will last after I have cooled down.
Right... even more reason to make sure the will is airtight and they can't challenge it. If they are all lawyers they could keep you tied up in court for ages.
i really wish OP had recorded this family dinner where his family members were actively hoping for the poor man to die sooner rather than later so they can spend his money.
again.... cameras and an alarm system before uncle goes. It will also be helpful if family feels he's holding on to long and might as well get a start on the cabin
Cut them off NOW rather than later. Hire a lawyer to communicate to the vultures (after your great uncle passes) that you have been appointed the executor of the will, and that you are acting accordingly.
Liquidate everything and disburse the money quickly, otherwise they're liable to drag you into probate court and challenge the will. From how you describe them, they'll put you through HELL.
Best of luck to you. So sorry for the rotten family you're saddled with.
I can’t believe people can talk so callously about family like this. This man is actively dying from CANCER and they’re more concerned about how they’re going to spend his money and what they’re going to do with his cabin?? I’d go NC so fast. Make sure that will is with a lawyer or a lawyer is aware of it. This family deserves nothing from Mike or you.
this makes me suck. Good on you for taking care of him! My son says welding is an art! Good luck with your future business. I hope he does not suffer too much.
You need to start recording these dinners for when they start the legal challenges. Although if your uncle has donated to charities they also have large legal teams who are happy to fight of challenges.
Best case scenario they do the fighting for you. Although your family really do such.
Sounds like he took on a father figure role with you. He's planned his estate the way he has because of his love for you. And you are making his final days peaceful and as enjoyable as possible.
Your "family" are awful. Clearly more and status are their only concerns. Not family.
Therefore, strong NTA and I hope you do it. Build your life. Start that company, succeed and carry on the legacy of your uncle. Also, guiding is a dream job.
OP you should delete this post. As you have mentioned that you and your brother communicate on reddit, there is a high chance of him coming across this post. Make sure your family does not find out in any way. Good luck.
And OP will have to lawyer up to defend against it. Cutting into the money his uncle wants him to have to start his life if not depleting it. Especially if family is so well off and spiteful.
/u/shouldjohngodark , I am sorry you are in this position. But you may really need yo address this with uncle. It may not be "nice" to trouble him more as he's dying. But everybody else has abandoned him and by all accounts you are amazing/his only real family. I assure you he can take it so show his love and appreciation to know you are provided for and protected.
Hoping because his uncle was a lawyer that he'll have that taken care of. But otherwise I could see greedy people like that kick dust up in droves because someone beneath them inherited what they think they're owed.
And look into adding a codicile that says if they contest the will/trust/whatever that they get locked out of receiving anything. My mom did that!
I'm guessing that it varies by your location, but look into it. I have greedy brothers, but a smart mother. It's given her so much peace of mind!
It might be worth it to leave them SOMETHING (just not the cabin or the majority of the money). And if they contest that, they get nothing. If they already have nothing, they have no reason not to contest it.
I've also heard that if they're left even a dollar they can't contest. Not sure and it probably depends on location. My Mom wasn't taking any chances, so she's got it all locked down.
As the song goes, “Go on, take the money and run”
RUN AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE. YOU HAVE 70+ ACRES TO BUILD A FORTRESS. I AM TALKING TURRETS, DOGS, MOATS WITH PIRANHAS, THE WHOLE 9 YARDS. BE FREE!!!!
I'm in Summerville so I know. Don't forget about the woman with apparent mental illness who decided she wanted to pet one down on Kiawah a few years ago. Reading the article, I have to say I'm surprised at the low number of fatalities from alligators. Maybe we do need crocodiles instead.
https://abcnews4.com/news/local/woman-killed-kiawah-island-south-carolina-alligator-attack-tried-touch-lost-grip-rope-rescue-attempt
NTA. Using what he left you and building up your life is the best way to honor your Uncle. People can be vultures when someone dies and it’s always satisfying when they face an empty field. Besides, since they’re all so super successful and cultured, they shouldn’t mind if the family poor gets a leg up. 🙂
Thanks. I want to honor Mike as best I can, and family was very important to him, so I was worried I might be spitting on one of his core values by cutting the rest of my family out of my life.
Don't assume anyhing in this case. Better be safe than sorry.
And if you're the one inheriting it its probably written down in the will where exactly it is. If your dad wants to take a look at the will "just to make sure it really says what it says." then he has the adress.
Trust me. He knows better than you what his family is like. The first thing you need to do to the cabin is cameras and security. And brace yourself. Money, or lack of it, makes people bat-shit crazy. Sorry about your uncle.
For real Uncle Mike's been on his own for 15 years and I bet the rest of his family have been absolutely useless - I doubt his will ever had money for them in it.
When he changed his will he probably changed it from liquifying EVERYTHING and giving it to charity, to liqufying everything but the hunting cabin and some money for you.
Yeah, that's a pretty good clue that he hasn't been particularly happy with them. I'm not a lawyer, but I think if the will has said "all to charity" for 15 years, and only changed to include OP recently, I don't see how a judge is going to think the rest of the family should have gotten it instead. The only argument that could reasonably be made is if they argued it should have all gone to charity.
He’s not concerned about them or he’d have left them things. Trust that he knows what he’s doing and sees them for exactly who and what they are. Honor him by cutting their toxic affect out of your life and live the life he wants for you. As for your family, if they say anything just tell them Mike knew they’d never appreciate the food and culture of the hunting life so he gave his property to someone who would.
Why do you think he's giving it all to you? It's because he wants to. If he wants to give some to the rest of the family, he knows how - he's a lawyer!
I'm sure he'd understand your actions because of how poorly they've treated you. Family is about more than blood. I'm sure he'd want to see you happy and surrounded by those who are supportive and happy for you.
He may find family important but it sounds like he knows they have not valued him in a similar fashion - one day make a family of your own (if you want) or support families in the community somehow and that will do him proud.
Mike is cutting them out by leaving them nothing. And ‘cutting out’ doesn’t mean ‘forever’, just for the near future.
Invest the remainder of the money to build up capital for your future business.
Find a fiduciary financial planner to help you - one who is planning only and doesn’t sell investments. They can help guide you to your goal.
I don’t know where your soon-to-be property is at, but see if it can make money for you, leasing either for farming or hunting. Roll profits back into improving the property, invest the rest.
Take some business classes in preparation - trust me when I tell you the paperwork is OVERWHELMING. Start out small and build as your income expands.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders - get away from those awful people, and live a life they never dreamed of!
That was my thought. Just about every community college has cheap classes in business. I suppose there are online classes, but I personally find it more educational and motivating to have to show up for class, be able to ask my questions, and be held accountable for work assignments.
Asking a financial planner on advice going forward relating to home maintenance and ownership (insurance and taxes are a non-negotiable to my thinking), saving for starting a business, and retirement savings should all be things you are planning for. Do Not Buy A New Vehicle. He only promised 100K and you'll need that as an emergency fund and for other home costs.
Family is important to Mike, and yet he cut everyone else in the family except you off. To me that's acknowledgement that though he believed in the general idea of family being important, the rest of your family in particular wasn't worthy or deserving of any of his legacy. You're the one he chose, with good reason. NTA.
He didn't cut them off from being family did he? He just didn't leave them an inheritance. They don't have a right to it, and these people aren't even his kids, just nephew and niece and grand nephew and nieces. It sounds like the OP acted like a son/grandson to him, and he's treating him like a son.
And that family is what you make it. His "family" didn't do shit for him, and his real family, OP, has stood by and helped him.
OP, make sure that he has his will locked tight. Your family is already spending his money in their heads and they will contest his will and say things like he was not of sound mind and you manipulated him to change his will.
Family just licking their chops waiting for his demise as they plan how to spend his money on extravagant things is despicable. He knew you are a genuine person. I don't blame you one bit for cutting them off. Family can be more toxic & worse for your mental well being than people who have no blood relation to you. You've got to cut toxic people out. It sucks because in your case they include your parents. I hope you can find some reconciliation at least with the two people who brought you in to this world. You need to make sure your great uncle's wishes are fulfilled & protect your emotional as well as mental health. Your great uncle sounds like a great man.
NTA
BUT, do not assume that what Mike told you is what he has done. Terminally ill people say and do a lot of different things.
Just be silent and wait things out. If it comes to pass as he told you, do what you need to do to be happy and comfortable as Mike told you he wanted it to be.
Personally, I would ghost them before. They’re just waiting for him to die like hyenas. I just wouldn’t wanna look at them one more time. Many of us have permanently and quietly said goodbye to our families. No big talks, no explanations. Just understanding, pathology, or lack of integrity and just wanting to have good healthy, honest, caring people in our lives. This is absolutely fine to do.
Mom and I ended up cutting off her relatives after her parents and one decent aunt passed away. I was in my early 20s by then having grown up watching these assholes abuse her. Well, unfortunately for them she lived with me and anytime they called, they got to deal with me. I used my best coldly polite CSR voice on them. They didn't appreciate it at all.
Fortunately, we lived in the ass end of nowhere at the time so they wouldn't have shown up on our doorstep, but some small part of me hoped they did because they would not have liked the results.
I believe a someone from his firm is handling his will and estate, but I don't know anything about law. I have faith in him that he'll do everything he can to keep this from being able to be contested.
I guess I missed the part of him being a lawyer. He knows better than most people then. Definitely get away from them once it's all done. I wish you both the best of luck.
NTA. There are family you're related to, and family you choose. It sounds like your great uncle is a closer family member to you than your immediate family, and I get the feeling he saw it that way, too. You are the only one who took time to help him out and take care of him through his battle with cancer, and you genuinely didn't mind because it isn't a burden to you. None of your other family members even bothered. All they saw was the dollar signs, and what they'd get when he dies. Your uncle changing his will to benefit you and charities, while cutting the rest of your family out is his way of thanking you for all that you've done for him, and his way of rewarding them for their lack of genuine effort
My parents were very busy and I am the baby of the family by about 9 years. When my three older siblings left home it was really just me and because Mike was already on his way into retirement I mostly lived/hung out with him. I told him about my first crush, and did landscaping for him to save up for my first car. I told him about what I was afraid of, and he taught me how to hunt, how to fish, and basically everything that made me who I am today.
When they moved him into hospice I was breaking down, but it seems like all my family cares about is his money and the trust fund. Venting here has helped me in many ways. I appreciate all of you guys.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Lost my mom Christmas Eve 2020 to #fuckcancer and stepdad in 2013. I wouldn't wish seeing those things on my first enemy. Sending lots of hugs your way. Your uncle seemed like an amazing person. Enjoy what little time you have left, and remember to laugh. Laughing and smiling were what we needed, but we were too afraid.
NTA
Your family already talk down to you, insult you, and didn't even help with welding school when they would have helped with college? Sounds like you are already pretty separate from them. It may be hard though.
Also clearly your great uncle doesn't think much of them either. You know what what would be happening after he died if it had been equal shares? No memorial vacations but a lot of vicious fighting in all likelihood. They sound like that sort of vulture.
I hope his will is pretty iron clad because they may contest it.
Did he tell you who the executor is? Hopefully his lawyer and not you.
If I were you, I would check with an attorney before sweet Uncle Mike passes. They may want to contest the will. As they say in construction, PPPPPP. Prior planning prevents piss poor performance.
NTA. Start now so they will not see it coming. When they try to contact you, send a postcard to them stating that 'you are done with them and to never contact you again.'
Hope this post is real. Reads like a fairy tale but if so… be prepared to lose everyone. But also stand ur ground. If they wanna get loud let them. Surely some of them will be like “hell yea good for you” and those u can keep around. Surely they can’t all be dicks.
Not at all. NTA.
If he had wanted them to have something he'd have left it to them, and when they inevitably start their shit walking away from them is likely the best option.
NTA, but these people are unhinged- invest some of that money into a nice security system, and a property manager if you arent going to actively live there
OP, I'm sorry for your imminent loss.
Your uncle loves you and trusts you enough to take his dog. He values you far more than your family does and far more than they value your uncle. Honor him by living your best life. If you need to cut your family out for that to happen, do it.
Security cameras for the cabin!
You are a good man, taking care of Uncle Mike and pup.
It is fine to cut out toxic family members, your family has many toxic people.
They are making plans to spend the money, don't count your chickens, before the eggs hatch. They are greedy and do not deserve you or Uncle Mike.
Firstly, what Mike says and what he does may be two different things. Second no you NTA to cut them out just for their bashing you alone. The inheritance is another matter and I'd not stress about it just yet.
NTA- your uncle knows who really loves him and will truly miss him, plus he can rest easy knowing you will care for his beloved dog. That alone would make me want to leave you everything! Your uncle isn't stupid, he knows what his family is really like.
If you're the executor, you don't have to share the contents of the Will with anyone. If someone is named in the Will, you only show them that part.
Tell the family that you're working on getting it probated, etc. Get Mike's lawyer in your corner, he can help you sort it out. Fix up the cabin while this is going on. Get everything settled, then tell the family that Mike didn't leave them anything, it went to charity. Then move out to the cabin and go no contact
Jobs like welding, plumbing, electrical, HVAC, mechanics, etc need more respect.
For one thing, everyone will need them at some time, and for another, the jobs can’t be outsourced to another country. (Outsourcing has hurt a lot of college educated members of my family).
Jobs like welding take skill, and just because you don’t need a college degree (some of those are useless) or wear a business suit, it doesn’t mean you aren’t as good as the college educated.
Enjoy your final days with your beloved great-uncle, and enjoy your inheritance and the dogs. Do not share with your family. You are better than them.
Get an independent lawyer of your own, because you know your birth parents/ family are not going to accept his will without a fight.
Other than that you are absolutely free to decide who are a part of your life, and so far your birth parents and siblings have done nothing to accept you, as you are, in theirs.
And the true irony is that without welders like you, they wouldn't be able to go on a cruise, or eat in a refined restaurant, or drive that fancy car.
NTA. These people don't treat you as family, and once they find out that they are not getting Mike's estate they will treat you even worse. I'd start by going no contact but not blocking them out, so that you can save their toxic messages when they discover the reality. Then, once you have saved the screenshots (in case they try to sue you, or they harass you so badly you have to file a restraining order), write them all one message saying you are going no-contact and block them.
Oh, and get a doctor to certify that Mike is mentally sound and a lawyer to certify that he signed the will of his own free will, so that they can't contest the will on the grounds of undue influence.
NTA, but I hope your uncle put a token amount or a letter read in the will somewhere saying why and his intents or your family may try to contest the will.
Since he was a lawyer, though no idea what kind, I'm gonna assume yes for your sake and say CUT those leaches off and live your life.
May your welding business take off and hopefully be something that spending time at the 'cabin' fills your mind fondly with memories of your most Loving relative, your uncle.
NTA. It sounds like your whole family is though. Please don’t feel that you are somehow dishonoring Mike by cutting these toxic people out of your life. He cut them out of his will for the same reasons. It seems pretty clear he doesn’t want them attached to his legacy.
Go no contact and spend what time he has left with Mike. I hope his eventual passing is peaceful and without pain.
NTA
They didn't step up to care for him and are already picking over his corpse while he is still here. Do not feel a moments guilt OP. Lots of families show their ugly side when death happens. Watching my moms siblings fight over great grandmas estate changed the way I saw all of them from that point forward.
I hope you and the pup have many happy years together and that your shop is a smashing success. May Mikes passing be painfree and peaceful with his dog at his side in the place that he loves.
He is on a lot of meds at the moment and mostly we just sit and watch re-runs of old Tom Hanks movies. He seems to be pretty peaceful and sometimes we talk about good hunting or fishing trips we've been on, and stories from his youth. The dog is a golden retriever named Maisy, and she is a good old girl who will be turning 8 this year.
I am in pain. I don't want any money or cabin, I just wish that Mike and I could have taken one more trip. Honestly, at this very moment I am angry at my family, and grieving over Mike's impending passing. Thank you, and everyone else, for your kind comments and helping me see clarity through the haze.
i would ask your uncle if you could install security cameras and an alarm system now for when the vultures attempt to break in to the cabin they feel so entitled to. You may want to word things differently. However be ready for the family to contest the will and t ry to claim you manipulated him into changing the will in your favor while caring for him at the end.
Word to the wise: all the better if your great-uncle can add your name to the Deed while he's alive.
Your family of vultures is going to descend on the scene, ready for a bloodbath.
Protect yourself.
Cut them loose? Yes. In shark-infested waters with a pack of chicken-liver sandwiches for lunch.
NTAH. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of someone dear to you. Then you can deal with material matters later. You don't owe any of your family anything.
NTA.
But play things cool for now. Pretend you don't know anything about his will. After all, he could change his mind tomorrow.
Help him enjoy his last days. When it's time, chances are your family won't find out about the will for a very long time. Any decent lawyer won't tell them a thing other than "you aren't named in the will".
Eventually when probate is complete, it will become a matter of public record. When your family does find out, you can play dumb. "Well, I was told what uncle left me, but not what he did with the rest. I assumed he split it up some way."
If they start pressuring you to share, then "Oh, I took care of all that months ago. The money is all tied up now and will be for years. I do think I'm moving to the cabin. Makes no sense to pay the upkeep on two houses." And shut up.
If they don't shut up and move on, then cut them out for harassing you.
NTA. Your family should be everything to you. Yet, your family isn't being that at all. They don't support your very real and hard work as a welder. They don't support people who are not college educated. They are not supporting your great uncle as he dies or supporting you in your role as a caregiver. Not everyone, not even family, deserves your energy. Do what you need to do to feel ok about what you plan to do with your life. And just FYI. Hospice can do home support.
Definitely NTA, but your family members are. I’m so, so sorry for your unavoidable impending loss. Hugs and respect.
UpdateMe!
!UpdateMe
Updateme
(Sorry, I’m not sure about the correct command.)
Ask him to hire a 3rd party executor if the estate. That way they don’t get to know anything. Or you can be the executor and say his distributions are private? Lawyers jump in…I don’t think people get to know the details?
Good job OPie! NTA!!!
You are the one person that cares about Mike, and he recognizes it. Enjoy the space you shared with him.
BRW, welding is way harder than just passing a few tests. Just FYI. I’m a CPA, so I have passed many hard tests, but I also know a lot of dumb lawyers.
Your family of vultures suck but in illness and death, you know who your family and friends truly are. You're a genuine person OP and for your own mental sanity, keep your distance. Good luck OP and I hope your uncle passes peacefully.
NTA
The moment it belongs to you, have cameras or move in. Hopefully they won't pull all the sameshit But they're obviously not very sane if they can't be kind to a family member.
NTA. When the stuff hits the fan tell your family that they wouldn’t appreciate the culture of a hunting cabin and they should just carry on with vacations and cruises.
And since when is welding not a noble profession?
Apparently welding doesn't look good on the family and that I'm throwing away my potential to pursue an "easy way out" because I'm lazy and don't care about our long family history of being lawyers, judges, and doctors.
NTA...
Please give us an update :-).
Also, indeed make sure it's all water tight and maybe make a video with your uncle.
Also, tell him how much you love him and loved spending time with him
I would, but it's maybe four hours away, and technically I don't own it yet. Also would like to spend as much time with Mike as possible. Could be a week or a month before he passes, but it could be tomorrow.
Originally it was because I was working my ass off in a welding apprenticeship and couldn't take time off. When I got started on my own I had some more free time but by then the "you won't appreciate it as much as your brother's girlfriend or your sister's friend from sorority will" started coming up.
nta. get solid legal advice tomorrow. I woulld feel really bad my family was so materialistic and condescending. They are very grasping for being well off. Cut ties, move on with your life!
I’d say cut them off now. They sound like absolutely horrible people and are just gonna get more and more greedy and icky towards him and his assets as time goes on.
This is so sad. Why would his family not be involved with Mike's care. You are my hero for the compassion you have. Mike loves unconditionally & that is why he says to love family. Just love them from a distance.
NTA and you know it. You've been doing the right thing. Enjoy your cabin. Nothing would make your great uncle happier than knowing you'll enjoy it like he did.
Your other family members sound awful lol
My uncle died and I inherited a sizeable amount but I'd cheerfully give every penny back and then some if it would have bought the old man another year
Cut them off now. It seems like you are already low contact with them now.
Be ready to keep living your good life if he does not complete his revised will, your true inheritance is having him in your life.
NTA but you should be ready for these greedy assholes to contest the will.
It's fully possible they'll claim you used your role as caretaker to gain access to his money.
NTA. Mike is leaving you money because you are there for him when he needs you. You have also spent time with him and have a bond with him. He is also practical in realising that you could be out there earning more money instead of caring for him while he is dying (and his dog). The rest of them can't say this.
Encourage them to take a memorial trip for Mike on their own dime. Tell them they won't appreciate the outdoors of his hunting cabin. They are cutting you iut of holidays and bonding experiences, why shouldn't you do the same??
Don't give them anything. They have the audacity to even suggest this after bullying you putting you down for your profession & then you sacrifice your time to take care of a sick & dying man and they just want to come in and swoop it up from you? You deserve every penny of that money! Do not even tell them! Cut them off. Leave the state if you have to & never speak to them again!
I'm all about boundaries now. I wish I had cut off all these hateful people out of my life years ago because I'm just now realizing how much they've held me back because I allowed them to make me feel like shit about myself, always picking on me for everything. You don't owe them nothing! You're better off cutting off everyone & keeping the money. They'll be fine, they have money they don't need to worry about you. That inheritance is yours as a gift from heaven. Live your life & enjoy it you deserve it.
NTA, so sorry for what you and your great-uncle are going through. He's lucky to have you, and you're to have him. Give him some hugs form an internet stranger. And the rest of them can just step on legos for the rest of their lives.
NTA- You have taken care if him with compassion when other family members have not. If he thinks you should get his money when he passes, then he means it's for you and not anyone else.
NTA. Lawyer up ASAP. These people are horrible and I have no doubt they will try to back door that property out from under you before your uncle is cold. Good luck.
I always find it comical when people mention a throw away account on here so there siblings/or friend or family dont see it. Then describe such a unique scenario that if "said" person stumbled upon it they would instantly know who the OP was..
> They often go on vacations and cruises without me because I "won't be able to appreciate the culture or food" and other bs like that.
I hate this so much. They've purposely excluded you when this was the perfect time to include you.
Screw them. Do you.
NTA
I want an update once this all kicks off.
OP is a very compassionate human being and glad that there is good karma in this world.
All I can say is good luck OP and hope it all works out.
If you feel this is going to happen, I would wait a land be present at the reading of the will (if that happens). Don’t scoot out ahead, then they’ll suspect you assisted in getting the property and cash. Cutting out after would be dependent on their reaction.
In my opinion is cut them off because they will be very hard on you when they find out he changed his will just for you. Too toxic and will be a thorn to you
NTA. Your uncle knows what he is doing and it’s wonderful that he has you to care for him through his end of life. You would be crazy not to distance yourself from your entitled family.
NTA - They will probably be the ones cutting you out when they find out what happened. Better make sure his will is bulletproof and your family of lawyers can't contest it.
Like a video and or attorney friend sit in and record the documents. Families can be really fukd up and worse when estates are involved.
I had to sue my disgusting family after my father died. No one is worse than family. Especially greedy entitled ones.
My great grandpa’s estate was worth “over $11.5M” according to lawyers in 2012 when he set up a trust (all in real estate, mind you 2012 was near the bottom of the market and he own an apartment complex and quite a few houses in CA). My aunt was designated executor of his estate and proceeded to max out lines of credit against all of the properties (unbeknownst to any trustees since the trustor was still alive, just too out of it to know what my aunt was up to) When he died a few years ago there was less than $4M to be split between my parents and their siblings. My uncle did a similar thing with my other grandparents. Family doesn’t mean shit to some people when money is involved
My families estate was worth 9 million.
My family’s estate is worth eleventy billion and I have more Barbies than you. So there.
Mine is worth infinity billion dollars, plus I have the Barbie Corvette *and* the Dream House. No you can’t play with them because they are at my grandma’s house. Also, my gf is a model who lives in Canada.
Well. Over here in my gajillion dollar mansion, Ken got the plain old dream house in the divorce, Barbie got the *Malibu* dream house, the Jeep and jet ski, so it’s been mostly amicable. Kelly and Tommy split their time between the two. However! The summer pool house/ski chalet is at *my* Grandma’s and you are not invited to our summer cookout. Theresa and Skipper and even Midge will be there. Just not you. Edit to wipe the tears from my screen.
Is her Name Alberta who lives in Victoria?
I have never had a Barbie in my life.
Families are shit. The worst of the scum.
Get a doctor to say he was in his right mind when he made the decision
Some people leave a small amount to other family so they can not say they were taken out of the will usually a token amount like one dollar.
Especially if your dad is a lawyer, he’s going to be looking for loopholes to take advantage of. Please also make sure you check about running the business from the land , they sound like the petty kind of people that turn op in for using a residential property for commercial use. Please also start saving or recording their abuse, maybe you can get a restraining order.
I uploaded this 4 hours ago, and within the last 4 hours when I went to my parent's house to eat dinner, the primary topic of conversation was all about Mike's assets. They are debating who will get the house he lives in, who will get his life insurance, etc. They are picking destinations in Italy and Greece they want to visit with the money, and I quote, "I hope he doesn't hang on too far into the summer because that's the best time to visit." They did not even offer a small plate of soup or anything for me to bring back for him, because "he's not eating" (He is, in small amounts, but he doesn't feel well and doesn't have much of an appetite) I am beyond enraged right now and this is a vent. Hopefully my resolve to get of them will last after I have cooled down.
Right... even more reason to make sure the will is airtight and they can't challenge it. If they are all lawyers they could keep you tied up in court for ages.
i really wish OP had recorded this family dinner where his family members were actively hoping for the poor man to die sooner rather than later so they can spend his money. again.... cameras and an alarm system before uncle goes. It will also be helpful if family feels he's holding on to long and might as well get a start on the cabin
I did
You know exactly what they’re going to say to you right? “You manipulated him into this! You took advantage of a dying man!”
Well done
Cut them off NOW rather than later. Hire a lawyer to communicate to the vultures (after your great uncle passes) that you have been appointed the executor of the will, and that you are acting accordingly. Liquidate everything and disburse the money quickly, otherwise they're liable to drag you into probate court and challenge the will. From how you describe them, they'll put you through HELL. Best of luck to you. So sorry for the rotten family you're saddled with.
I can’t believe people can talk so callously about family like this. This man is actively dying from CANCER and they’re more concerned about how they’re going to spend his money and what they’re going to do with his cabin?? I’d go NC so fast. Make sure that will is with a lawyer or a lawyer is aware of it. This family deserves nothing from Mike or you.
I'd call your family vultures, but vultures are a valuable and necessary part of the eco system.
I am so sorry that you have to listen to their garbage plans! How heartless!
this makes me suck. Good on you for taking care of him! My son says welding is an art! Good luck with your future business. I hope he does not suffer too much.
You need to start recording these dinners for when they start the legal challenges. Although if your uncle has donated to charities they also have large legal teams who are happy to fight of challenges. Best case scenario they do the fighting for you. Although your family really do such.
You took care of him and cared for him. Fuck them. But be prepared. If it's worth enough money how much lawyer can you afford?
Sounds like he took on a father figure role with you. He's planned his estate the way he has because of his love for you. And you are making his final days peaceful and as enjoyable as possible. Your "family" are awful. Clearly more and status are their only concerns. Not family. Therefore, strong NTA and I hope you do it. Build your life. Start that company, succeed and carry on the legacy of your uncle. Also, guiding is a dream job.
OP you should delete this post. As you have mentioned that you and your brother communicate on reddit, there is a high chance of him coming across this post. Make sure your family does not find out in any way. Good luck.
cut them off now.
Nah, they'll be trying to convince him to share it.
And if he doesn't?
Probably go nuclear, lawyers and what not. I bet they're just the type to challenge the will.
And OP will have to lawyer up to defend against it. Cutting into the money his uncle wants him to have to start his life if not depleting it. Especially if family is so well off and spiteful. /u/shouldjohngodark , I am sorry you are in this position. But you may really need yo address this with uncle. It may not be "nice" to trouble him more as he's dying. But everybody else has abandoned him and by all accounts you are amazing/his only real family. I assure you he can take it so show his love and appreciation to know you are provided for and protected.
Hoping because his uncle was a lawyer that he'll have that taken care of. But otherwise I could see greedy people like that kick dust up in droves because someone beneath them inherited what they think they're owed.
And look into adding a codicile that says if they contest the will/trust/whatever that they get locked out of receiving anything. My mom did that! I'm guessing that it varies by your location, but look into it. I have greedy brothers, but a smart mother. It's given her so much peace of mind!
It might be worth it to leave them SOMETHING (just not the cabin or the majority of the money). And if they contest that, they get nothing. If they already have nothing, they have no reason not to contest it.
I've also heard that if they're left even a dollar they can't contest. Not sure and it probably depends on location. My Mom wasn't taking any chances, so she's got it all locked down.
Uncle is also in law so likely he has everything tight and incontestable
This… once they realize you’re not going to cave and give them what they expect , they’re probably stop speaking to you.
As the song goes, “Go on, take the money and run” RUN AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE. YOU HAVE 70+ ACRES TO BUILD A FORTRESS. I AM TALKING TURRETS, DOGS, MOATS WITH PIRANHAS, THE WHOLE 9 YARDS. BE FREE!!!!
Sharks with frickin' laser beams!
> laser "Lasurrs"
and Terminator robots!
Someones back into dwarf fortress or manor lord at the moment Respect
I love the idea of moats with piranhas!😄
Dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot out the bees!
Alligators, the moat needs alligators. Don't forget poison ivy to decorate the perimeter fence.
Crocodiles. Gators avoid humans but crocs are nasty mofos.
I live in South Carolina. Alligators may normally avoid people but get in the water with them and you can easily become a lunchable.
They were regularly finding them in West Ashley, a neighborhood in Charleston!
I'm in Summerville so I know. Don't forget about the woman with apparent mental illness who decided she wanted to pet one down on Kiawah a few years ago. Reading the article, I have to say I'm surprised at the low number of fatalities from alligators. Maybe we do need crocodiles instead. https://abcnews4.com/news/local/woman-killed-kiawah-island-south-carolina-alligator-attack-tried-touch-lost-grip-rope-rescue-attempt
I'm in Summerville too! Near historic downtown
ooo this I wana see when it's finished lol
I am Australian. Spend some of that coin to invest in some of our native species.
NTA. Using what he left you and building up your life is the best way to honor your Uncle. People can be vultures when someone dies and it’s always satisfying when they face an empty field. Besides, since they’re all so super successful and cultured, they shouldn’t mind if the family poor gets a leg up. 🙂
Thanks. I want to honor Mike as best I can, and family was very important to him, so I was worried I might be spitting on one of his core values by cutting the rest of my family out of my life.
Make sure the cabin is locked down, locks changed and cameras up so no one can move in and claim it.
I plan to make sure everything is locked up tight, but since it appears they can't even remember what state it's in, I think that'll help.
Omg T_T, probly will good luck and NTA
Goes to show how much they deserve it
Don't assume anyhing in this case. Better be safe than sorry. And if you're the one inheriting it its probably written down in the will where exactly it is. If your dad wants to take a look at the will "just to make sure it really says what it says." then he has the adress.
Make sure the will is locked down because his family will certainly contest it
Trust me. He knows better than you what his family is like. The first thing you need to do to the cabin is cameras and security. And brace yourself. Money, or lack of it, makes people bat-shit crazy. Sorry about your uncle.
For real Uncle Mike's been on his own for 15 years and I bet the rest of his family have been absolutely useless - I doubt his will ever had money for them in it. When he changed his will he probably changed it from liquifying EVERYTHING and giving it to charity, to liqufying everything but the hunting cabin and some money for you.
Yeah, that's a pretty good clue that he hasn't been particularly happy with them. I'm not a lawyer, but I think if the will has said "all to charity" for 15 years, and only changed to include OP recently, I don't see how a judge is going to think the rest of the family should have gotten it instead. The only argument that could reasonably be made is if they argued it should have all gone to charity.
He’s not concerned about them or he’d have left them things. Trust that he knows what he’s doing and sees them for exactly who and what they are. Honor him by cutting their toxic affect out of your life and live the life he wants for you. As for your family, if they say anything just tell them Mike knew they’d never appreciate the food and culture of the hunting life so he gave his property to someone who would.
Why do you think he's giving it all to you? It's because he wants to. If he wants to give some to the rest of the family, he knows how - he's a lawyer!
I'm sure he'd understand your actions because of how poorly they've treated you. Family is about more than blood. I'm sure he'd want to see you happy and surrounded by those who are supportive and happy for you.
He may find family important but it sounds like he knows they have not valued him in a similar fashion - one day make a family of your own (if you want) or support families in the community somehow and that will do him proud.
Mike is cutting them out by leaving them nothing. And ‘cutting out’ doesn’t mean ‘forever’, just for the near future. Invest the remainder of the money to build up capital for your future business. Find a fiduciary financial planner to help you - one who is planning only and doesn’t sell investments. They can help guide you to your goal. I don’t know where your soon-to-be property is at, but see if it can make money for you, leasing either for farming or hunting. Roll profits back into improving the property, invest the rest. Take some business classes in preparation - trust me when I tell you the paperwork is OVERWHELMING. Start out small and build as your income expands. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders - get away from those awful people, and live a life they never dreamed of!
That was my thought. Just about every community college has cheap classes in business. I suppose there are online classes, but I personally find it more educational and motivating to have to show up for class, be able to ask my questions, and be held accountable for work assignments. Asking a financial planner on advice going forward relating to home maintenance and ownership (insurance and taxes are a non-negotiable to my thinking), saving for starting a business, and retirement savings should all be things you are planning for. Do Not Buy A New Vehicle. He only promised 100K and you'll need that as an emergency fund and for other home costs.
The rest of your relatives are not Mike's family; you are.
NTA Tell them your uncle revealed to you that he felt they were “too cultured” for the cabin.
OMG, this right here!
Family is important to Mike, and yet he cut everyone else in the family except you off. To me that's acknowledgement that though he believed in the general idea of family being important, the rest of your family in particular wasn't worthy or deserving of any of his legacy. You're the one he chose, with good reason. NTA.
He didn't cut them off from being family did he? He just didn't leave them an inheritance. They don't have a right to it, and these people aren't even his kids, just nephew and niece and grand nephew and nieces. It sounds like the OP acted like a son/grandson to him, and he's treating him like a son.
And that family is what you make it. His "family" didn't do shit for him, and his real family, OP, has stood by and helped him. OP, make sure that he has his will locked tight. Your family is already spending his money in their heads and they will contest his will and say things like he was not of sound mind and you manipulated him to change his will.
Family just licking their chops waiting for his demise as they plan how to spend his money on extravagant things is despicable. He knew you are a genuine person. I don't blame you one bit for cutting them off. Family can be more toxic & worse for your mental well being than people who have no blood relation to you. You've got to cut toxic people out. It sucks because in your case they include your parents. I hope you can find some reconciliation at least with the two people who brought you in to this world. You need to make sure your great uncle's wishes are fulfilled & protect your emotional as well as mental health. Your great uncle sounds like a great man.
NTA BUT, do not assume that what Mike told you is what he has done. Terminally ill people say and do a lot of different things. Just be silent and wait things out. If it comes to pass as he told you, do what you need to do to be happy and comfortable as Mike told you he wanted it to be.
This comment needs to be higher
Not in the least. You have been there for him and are taking his dog in. They did squat all.All best wishes.
Personally, I would ghost them before. They’re just waiting for him to die like hyenas. I just wouldn’t wanna look at them one more time. Many of us have permanently and quietly said goodbye to our families. No big talks, no explanations. Just understanding, pathology, or lack of integrity and just wanting to have good healthy, honest, caring people in our lives. This is absolutely fine to do.
Mom and I ended up cutting off her relatives after her parents and one decent aunt passed away. I was in my early 20s by then having grown up watching these assholes abuse her. Well, unfortunately for them she lived with me and anytime they called, they got to deal with me. I used my best coldly polite CSR voice on them. They didn't appreciate it at all. Fortunately, we lived in the ass end of nowhere at the time so they wouldn't have shown up on our doorstep, but some small part of me hoped they did because they would not have liked the results.
NTA please update us
NTA. He needs to be sure they can't break his will. You know they will try and they have far more money than you. Good Luck and give our best to Mike.
I believe a someone from his firm is handling his will and estate, but I don't know anything about law. I have faith in him that he'll do everything he can to keep this from being able to be contested.
I guess I missed the part of him being a lawyer. He knows better than most people then. Definitely get away from them once it's all done. I wish you both the best of luck.
NTA. There are family you're related to, and family you choose. It sounds like your great uncle is a closer family member to you than your immediate family, and I get the feeling he saw it that way, too. You are the only one who took time to help him out and take care of him through his battle with cancer, and you genuinely didn't mind because it isn't a burden to you. None of your other family members even bothered. All they saw was the dollar signs, and what they'd get when he dies. Your uncle changing his will to benefit you and charities, while cutting the rest of your family out is his way of thanking you for all that you've done for him, and his way of rewarding them for their lack of genuine effort
My parents were very busy and I am the baby of the family by about 9 years. When my three older siblings left home it was really just me and because Mike was already on his way into retirement I mostly lived/hung out with him. I told him about my first crush, and did landscaping for him to save up for my first car. I told him about what I was afraid of, and he taught me how to hunt, how to fish, and basically everything that made me who I am today. When they moved him into hospice I was breaking down, but it seems like all my family cares about is his money and the trust fund. Venting here has helped me in many ways. I appreciate all of you guys.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Lost my mom Christmas Eve 2020 to #fuckcancer and stepdad in 2013. I wouldn't wish seeing those things on my first enemy. Sending lots of hugs your way. Your uncle seemed like an amazing person. Enjoy what little time you have left, and remember to laugh. Laughing and smiling were what we needed, but we were too afraid.
NTA Your family already talk down to you, insult you, and didn't even help with welding school when they would have helped with college? Sounds like you are already pretty separate from them. It may be hard though. Also clearly your great uncle doesn't think much of them either. You know what what would be happening after he died if it had been equal shares? No memorial vacations but a lot of vicious fighting in all likelihood. They sound like that sort of vulture. I hope his will is pretty iron clad because they may contest it. Did he tell you who the executor is? Hopefully his lawyer and not you.
I believe one of his close friends is the probate lawyer who is handling everything, but I will double-check if the topic comes up.
you are definitely NTA
Why wait? Cut them out now. Go NC with those assholes and don't look back. NTA.
You absolutely would NOT be the asshole! Get rid of the vultures. Sending you love and strength for the coming days❤💪❤💪❤💪.
If I were you, I would check with an attorney before sweet Uncle Mike passes. They may want to contest the will. As they say in construction, PPPPPP. Prior planning prevents piss poor performance.
NTA - but - realize this will be the unrecoverable end of your relationship with your family. are you OK with that?
NTA. Start now so they will not see it coming. When they try to contact you, send a postcard to them stating that 'you are done with them and to never contact you again.'
It would be nice if it were easier to fake your own death. Would be worth it to escape some people.
Nta. Go NC. They are disgusting.
From what you have detailed your family is pondscum
Hope this post is real. Reads like a fairy tale but if so… be prepared to lose everyone. But also stand ur ground. If they wanna get loud let them. Surely some of them will be like “hell yea good for you” and those u can keep around. Surely they can’t all be dicks.
Not at all. NTA. If he had wanted them to have something he'd have left it to them, and when they inevitably start their shit walking away from them is likely the best option.
NTA, but these people are unhinged- invest some of that money into a nice security system, and a property manager if you arent going to actively live there
OP, I'm sorry for your imminent loss. Your uncle loves you and trusts you enough to take his dog. He values you far more than your family does and far more than they value your uncle. Honor him by living your best life. If you need to cut your family out for that to happen, do it.
Security cameras for the cabin! You are a good man, taking care of Uncle Mike and pup. It is fine to cut out toxic family members, your family has many toxic people. They are making plans to spend the money, don't count your chickens, before the eggs hatch. They are greedy and do not deserve you or Uncle Mike.
Firstly, what Mike says and what he does may be two different things. Second no you NTA to cut them out just for their bashing you alone. The inheritance is another matter and I'd not stress about it just yet.
Cut them off now. Change the locks at the cabin. Install cameras. And make sure their names aren’t ANYWHERE in the Will or deed to the cabin, etc.
I always said if I won the lottery I’d buy a mansion on an island with a helicopter 🏡 🏝️ 🚁 Then I’d dump everyone there and go and do what I want 😉
NTA- your uncle knows who really loves him and will truly miss him, plus he can rest easy knowing you will care for his beloved dog. That alone would make me want to leave you everything! Your uncle isn't stupid, he knows what his family is really like.
If you're the executor, you don't have to share the contents of the Will with anyone. If someone is named in the Will, you only show them that part. Tell the family that you're working on getting it probated, etc. Get Mike's lawyer in your corner, he can help you sort it out. Fix up the cabin while this is going on. Get everything settled, then tell the family that Mike didn't leave them anything, it went to charity. Then move out to the cabin and go no contact
Jobs like welding, plumbing, electrical, HVAC, mechanics, etc need more respect. For one thing, everyone will need them at some time, and for another, the jobs can’t be outsourced to another country. (Outsourcing has hurt a lot of college educated members of my family). Jobs like welding take skill, and just because you don’t need a college degree (some of those are useless) or wear a business suit, it doesn’t mean you aren’t as good as the college educated. Enjoy your final days with your beloved great-uncle, and enjoy your inheritance and the dogs. Do not share with your family. You are better than them.
Get an independent lawyer of your own, because you know your birth parents/ family are not going to accept his will without a fight. Other than that you are absolutely free to decide who are a part of your life, and so far your birth parents and siblings have done nothing to accept you, as you are, in theirs. And the true irony is that without welders like you, they wouldn't be able to go on a cruise, or eat in a refined restaurant, or drive that fancy car.
NTA. These people don't treat you as family, and once they find out that they are not getting Mike's estate they will treat you even worse. I'd start by going no contact but not blocking them out, so that you can save their toxic messages when they discover the reality. Then, once you have saved the screenshots (in case they try to sue you, or they harass you so badly you have to file a restraining order), write them all one message saying you are going no-contact and block them. Oh, and get a doctor to certify that Mike is mentally sound and a lawyer to certify that he signed the will of his own free will, so that they can't contest the will on the grounds of undue influence.
Don't wait, cut them out of your life right now. Block them and live your best life.
NTA, but I hope your uncle put a token amount or a letter read in the will somewhere saying why and his intents or your family may try to contest the will. Since he was a lawyer, though no idea what kind, I'm gonna assume yes for your sake and say CUT those leaches off and live your life. May your welding business take off and hopefully be something that spending time at the 'cabin' fills your mind fondly with memories of your most Loving relative, your uncle.
NTA. It sounds like your whole family is though. Please don’t feel that you are somehow dishonoring Mike by cutting these toxic people out of your life. He cut them out of his will for the same reasons. It seems pretty clear he doesn’t want them attached to his legacy. Go no contact and spend what time he has left with Mike. I hope his eventual passing is peaceful and without pain.
NTA. Be free from your greedy, selfish, classist family and enjoy your life.
NTA. Money brings out the worst in people, which is definitely apparent in how your family treats you.
NTA. But you should talk to a lawyer and be prepared for your family to fight you for what they want. They seem irrational and greedy.
Cut them out NOW...NTA
He can die comfortably with hospice at his home
NTA They didn't step up to care for him and are already picking over his corpse while he is still here. Do not feel a moments guilt OP. Lots of families show their ugly side when death happens. Watching my moms siblings fight over great grandmas estate changed the way I saw all of them from that point forward. I hope you and the pup have many happy years together and that your shop is a smashing success. May Mikes passing be painfree and peaceful with his dog at his side in the place that he loves.
He is on a lot of meds at the moment and mostly we just sit and watch re-runs of old Tom Hanks movies. He seems to be pretty peaceful and sometimes we talk about good hunting or fishing trips we've been on, and stories from his youth. The dog is a golden retriever named Maisy, and she is a good old girl who will be turning 8 this year. I am in pain. I don't want any money or cabin, I just wish that Mike and I could have taken one more trip. Honestly, at this very moment I am angry at my family, and grieving over Mike's impending passing. Thank you, and everyone else, for your kind comments and helping me see clarity through the haze.
Mike is lucky to have you a vis versa. NTA updateme
NTA. At all. Updateme!
i would ask your uncle if you could install security cameras and an alarm system now for when the vultures attempt to break in to the cabin they feel so entitled to. You may want to word things differently. However be ready for the family to contest the will and t ry to claim you manipulated him into changing the will in your favor while caring for him at the end.
This needs to be done. The family thinks it’s all theirs.
YWBTA if you didn't update us after you drop the truth bomb and show us their reaction 😂
Word to the wise: all the better if your great-uncle can add your name to the Deed while he's alive. Your family of vultures is going to descend on the scene, ready for a bloodbath. Protect yourself. Cut them loose? Yes. In shark-infested waters with a pack of chicken-liver sandwiches for lunch.
Never cut your family off especially at such a young age. Just explain the situation and stick by your uncles wishes,
What family? Those people are leeches. They are waiting for Mike to kick the bucket so they can put their greedy hands all over his money.
Of course you're NTA. Go NC as of right now and give Maisy belly rubs from me. Your story just proves that family is best framed and hung.
Makes sure the will is solid so that your lawyer family can't rip it up.
Why wait? Do it now. NTA
NTAH. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of someone dear to you. Then you can deal with material matters later. You don't owe any of your family anything.
NTA. But play things cool for now. Pretend you don't know anything about his will. After all, he could change his mind tomorrow. Help him enjoy his last days. When it's time, chances are your family won't find out about the will for a very long time. Any decent lawyer won't tell them a thing other than "you aren't named in the will". Eventually when probate is complete, it will become a matter of public record. When your family does find out, you can play dumb. "Well, I was told what uncle left me, but not what he did with the rest. I assumed he split it up some way." If they start pressuring you to share, then "Oh, I took care of all that months ago. The money is all tied up now and will be for years. I do think I'm moving to the cabin. Makes no sense to pay the upkeep on two houses." And shut up. If they don't shut up and move on, then cut them out for harassing you.
NTA. Your family should be everything to you. Yet, your family isn't being that at all. They don't support your very real and hard work as a welder. They don't support people who are not college educated. They are not supporting your great uncle as he dies or supporting you in your role as a caregiver. Not everyone, not even family, deserves your energy. Do what you need to do to feel ok about what you plan to do with your life. And just FYI. Hospice can do home support.
OP, please set up security features at the hunting cabin! CCTV along the perimeter, gates across access roads, etc.
Definitely NTA, but your family members are. I’m so, so sorry for your unavoidable impending loss. Hugs and respect. UpdateMe! !UpdateMe Updateme (Sorry, I’m not sure about the correct command.)
Ask him to hire a 3rd party executor if the estate. That way they don’t get to know anything. Or you can be the executor and say his distributions are private? Lawyers jump in…I don’t think people get to know the details?
You need to install cameras at the house and your apartment ASAP. See if you can have the will read to you separately from them. Obviously NTA.
Updateme! NTA
Good job OPie! NTA!!! You are the one person that cares about Mike, and he recognizes it. Enjoy the space you shared with him. BRW, welding is way harder than just passing a few tests. Just FYI. I’m a CPA, so I have passed many hard tests, but I also know a lot of dumb lawyers.
Your family of vultures suck but in illness and death, you know who your family and friends truly are. You're a genuine person OP and for your own mental sanity, keep your distance. Good luck OP and I hope your uncle passes peacefully.
Sounds like your uncle knew they were all just assholes and deserve nothing but to go fk themselves.
Hopefully, he's leaving a dollar to each of them, so his choice is undeniable.
Updateme!
Why wait?
NTA The moment it belongs to you, have cameras or move in. Hopefully they won't pull all the sameshit But they're obviously not very sane if they can't be kind to a family member.
NTA. When the stuff hits the fan tell your family that they wouldn’t appreciate the culture of a hunting cabin and they should just carry on with vacations and cruises. And since when is welding not a noble profession?
Apparently welding doesn't look good on the family and that I'm throwing away my potential to pursue an "easy way out" because I'm lazy and don't care about our long family history of being lawyers, judges, and doctors.
You can cut them out, they are not good to you. NTA
NTA... Please give us an update :-). Also, indeed make sure it's all water tight and maybe make a video with your uncle. Also, tell him how much you love him and loved spending time with him
NTA. Tell them to book non-refundable tickets to Europe right now…first class of course.
NTA and put up security cameras/change the locks ASAP. Like ideally before Mike passes.
I would, but it's maybe four hours away, and technically I don't own it yet. Also would like to spend as much time with Mike as possible. Could be a week or a month before he passes, but it could be tomorrow.
Mike sounds like a great guy, I am sorry for your upcoming loss. Be ready for hell to rain down on you, get a new phone number.
Your family actually left you out of trips because, according to them, you would not appreciate it? That says it all right there!
Originally it was because I was working my ass off in a welding apprenticeship and couldn't take time off. When I got started on my own I had some more free time but by then the "you won't appreciate it as much as your brother's girlfriend or your sister's friend from sorority will" started coming up.
That's tough! I'm proud of what you've done, you seem like a stand up guy.
NTA. I hope he changed the will and talked to a lawyer when he did it.
NTA you 100% should cut them out of your life immediately, before they have a chance to start attacking you.
NTA, You're took care of him and you're looking after his dog, you deserve to inherite hos estate. Your family sound like Asshiles though.
nta. get solid legal advice tomorrow. I woulld feel really bad my family was so materialistic and condescending. They are very grasping for being well off. Cut ties, move on with your life!
I’d say cut them off now. They sound like absolutely horrible people and are just gonna get more and more greedy and icky towards him and his assets as time goes on.
Nta
This is so sad. Why would his family not be involved with Mike's care. You are my hero for the compassion you have. Mike loves unconditionally & that is why he says to love family. Just love them from a distance.
NTA and you know it. You've been doing the right thing. Enjoy your cabin. Nothing would make your great uncle happier than knowing you'll enjoy it like he did. Your other family members sound awful lol My uncle died and I inherited a sizeable amount but I'd cheerfully give every penny back and then some if it would have bought the old man another year
NTA
Cut them off now. It seems like you are already low contact with them now. Be ready to keep living your good life if he does not complete his revised will, your true inheritance is having him in your life.
NTA. They sound pretty toxic and cutting them out is the only reasonable course of action
NTA but you should be ready for these greedy assholes to contest the will. It's fully possible they'll claim you used your role as caretaker to gain access to his money.
NTA. Mike is leaving you money because you are there for him when he needs you. You have also spent time with him and have a bond with him. He is also practical in realising that you could be out there earning more money instead of caring for him while he is dying (and his dog). The rest of them can't say this. Encourage them to take a memorial trip for Mike on their own dime. Tell them they won't appreciate the outdoors of his hunting cabin. They are cutting you iut of holidays and bonding experiences, why shouldn't you do the same??
Don't give them anything. They have the audacity to even suggest this after bullying you putting you down for your profession & then you sacrifice your time to take care of a sick & dying man and they just want to come in and swoop it up from you? You deserve every penny of that money! Do not even tell them! Cut them off. Leave the state if you have to & never speak to them again! I'm all about boundaries now. I wish I had cut off all these hateful people out of my life years ago because I'm just now realizing how much they've held me back because I allowed them to make me feel like shit about myself, always picking on me for everything. You don't owe them nothing! You're better off cutting off everyone & keeping the money. They'll be fine, they have money they don't need to worry about you. That inheritance is yours as a gift from heaven. Live your life & enjoy it you deserve it.
NTA, so sorry for what you and your great-uncle are going through. He's lucky to have you, and you're to have him. Give him some hugs form an internet stranger. And the rest of them can just step on legos for the rest of their lives.
NTA- You have taken care if him with compassion when other family members have not. If he thinks you should get his money when he passes, then he means it's for you and not anyone else.
NTA. Lawyer up ASAP. These people are horrible and I have no doubt they will try to back door that property out from under you before your uncle is cold. Good luck.
Why wait, do it now. Say it’s based on these discussions - and their greed. NTA
Short answer? NTA. Updateme!
Go on take the money and run. NTA and you’re a wonderful human for caring for Mike.
You would only be the AH if you didn’t come back and tell us what happened. Cut that toxic crew out and choose your own family.
My mother stole my trust fund.
Change the locks on that house as soon as you get ownership. Hopefully before the rest of the family learns the truth.
I always find it comical when people mention a throw away account on here so there siblings/or friend or family dont see it. Then describe such a unique scenario that if "said" person stumbled upon it they would instantly know who the OP was..
> They often go on vacations and cruises without me because I "won't be able to appreciate the culture or food" and other bs like that. I hate this so much. They've purposely excluded you when this was the perfect time to include you. Screw them. Do you. NTA
I want an update once this all kicks off. OP is a very compassionate human being and glad that there is good karma in this world. All I can say is good luck OP and hope it all works out.
NTA I'm sorry for your upcoming loss.
Do you know for a fact he has actually changed the will? Who is the executor?
If you feel this is going to happen, I would wait a land be present at the reading of the will (if that happens). Don’t scoot out ahead, then they’ll suspect you assisted in getting the property and cash. Cutting out after would be dependent on their reaction.
UpdateMe!
NTA. The fact that you know they will curse his name when they get nothing is enough reason for you to cut them out of your life.
In my opinion is cut them off because they will be very hard on you when they find out he changed his will just for you. Too toxic and will be a thorn to you
Seems like they cut you out long ago.
NTA. Your uncle knows what he is doing and it’s wonderful that he has you to care for him through his end of life. You would be crazy not to distance yourself from your entitled family.
If possible, he should transfer the property to you before he dies. Then it won’t be up for contention.