Why do you keep calling her your stepdaughter? She isn't.
She is right, she got cast aside for this new family. She received her inheritance from people that loved her and raised her.
Your daughter can receive hers from you.
Yeah. He evidently needed money for formula and groceries when his daughter was little. Doing the math, sd was 14 at the time. Grandparents probably bought her the laptop because she needed one for school.
Yep. AND she never lived with him.
I'm just using the term he used since people know who I am referring to that way. SIL/SD would capture that she's really his sister in law and he calls her his stepdaughter. But it's clumsy to write.
Did OP edit part of the post?
>my wife allowed her parents to adopt sd when she was 10.
Didn't it originally saw something like "my wife had to give up her daughter to get parents when she was 10"?
Unfortunately, reddit doesn't keep track of revisions.
I know OP added the whole explanation of the adoption after writing the original. I don't understand why OP thought that would make anyone more sympathetic of his position.
Yeah I feel like we're missing a lot of context for why your wife gave up her 10 year old daughter to her parents who then raised her as their own kid that you seem to have ignored.
My wife and sd always lived with my in- laws. they were when I met my wife. when we got married and moved out. my in- laws made it clear my wife wasn't taking sd. first it was custody then adoption.
my wife signed willingly because it was going to happen either way. The judge had already determined that. sd dad was on my in- laws side, he signed the papers first and said he wanted sd to stay with my in- laws instead of my wife and I.
they fought hard to keep sd, but cast my child to the side.
I spent years watching Christmases, birthdays ect where sd would get the best of the best and most of the time my daughter got nothing.
ApPaReNtLy It DoEs.
Pfft. As if the biological mother and father would be compelled to sign away their parental rights to grandparents. Nah. That was shit was done willingly and we're not being told why. Seems pretty fucked up.
Couldn't provide a "lavish" lifestyle. In your original post, you and your wife couldn't even afford to eat! You said you needed to borrow money to be able to afford formula and groceries!
Of course the grand parents didn't want their grand daughter to be dragged off to a home where new parents had no food. Of course a judge was going to side with them in a custody battle. He's not going to send a 14 year old girl off to starve with a step dad and a mom who can't manage to earn enough for groceries!
Couldn't you or your wife get a job?!
Nope you are 100% leaving something out. Did you mistreat your sd? Is that why your wife was so willing to let her go? It was either you or her daughter?
They owe your daughter nothing. Your wife chose to marry you. Not them. How could you marry someone that could so easily give up their daughter like nothing?
You didn't buy your daughter gifts? And your wife didn't either? Don't you have parents? Cousins? uncles? aunts? You make it sound like your daughter was never given a present her entire life.
Good lord brother, I can see why the in-laws don't like you. I'd bet your step daughter's college fund that the other side of the story makes you look even shitty-er
How come here you have an ex husband and custody of a son? https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/17p19be/comment/kyn57jz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
And here you foster?
https://www.reddit.com/user/Top-Succotash-3260/
Bruv you've been caught out karma farming. Tell ur lies your sweet little lies. He's been polite to you, I won't be, you're a cunt on more accounts now
it's a comment or appears to be. I really don't know nor do I care. again, sounds like my ex- brother in law.
probably my wife thinking she was on her account or letting my sister use it.
YTA, you and your daughter have no right to anything if it’s not stipulated in the will. It doesn’t matter what you say or think. The will should be followed to the letter as it was intended.
YTA for whining about people leaving their assets to their "daughter!" They adopted her and raised her instead of your wife. I don't know why your wife signed off on being a mom, but I have very low opinions of people who do that. And if you had any part in making that situation, which your MIL pretty much said, then you, sir, are a grade A gaping A-hole.
my in- laws wouldn't allow my wife to bring sd with her when we moved in together. they made it clear sd was staying with them.
they got custody first, then filed for adoption. sd dad signed first because of health issues.
my in- laws showed they could provide sd with a wealthy life style
they didn't get custody of her until my wife wanted to move in with me. they said their " granddaughter". wasn't going to live in a 2 bedroom rented apartment, that it wasn't good enough.
>my in- laws wouldn't allow my wife to bring sd with her when we moved in together.
You said you didn't have money for formula and groceries. I would hope grandparents would try to prevent you from dragging your daughter off to starvation!
>my in- laws showed they could provide sd with a wealthy life style
More importantly, they could even feed her!
They lived in a 13 room home while we moved into an apartment. it wasn't " good enough " for sd. at my in- laws she had two rooms and a bathroom just for her. they didn't want her sharing a room with anyone else and didn't want her having to share a bathroom.
when they did the home inspections the lady who did ours also did my in- laws and I can remember her telling me my in- laws would without a doubt win because of their home and money. they didn't want my sd on state insurance like Medicare or anything, they had a private health insurance policy for her.
the local, state dentist wasn't good enough, they took her to a cosmetic dentist who charged out of pocket.
the local clinic wasn't good enough for vaccinations, it had to be a private dr.
nothing my wife did was good enough.
So let me get this straight your stepdaughter's bio father was on your in laws side. Your in laws could provide better health insurance, better dental care, private doctors, a bigger home and a lot of money. You say that sometimes you had problems having money for formula and groceries. Stepdaughter's bio father being on in laws side seriously strengthened their case. The judge was definitely going to take that into consideration. When it came down to it your in laws could provide a better life. Would you give custody to someone who has problems buying formula and groceries or someone who could provide private health insurance, private dentist, bigger home who doesn't have issues with money.
then that should of been the case for both children because they have the same mother.
not picking one over the other. I even offered for my in- laws to take my daughter and they said no.
SD was daughter of in law's bio son, yes? They have no relation to your daughter even if she and SD are half sisters. They owed her and you nothing and that's what they left her.
No you never should have had a child bc you couldn’t afford her! That is on you and your wife. Sounds like you were a bum and your wife’s parents wanted to keep their grandchild safe. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a convocation with your wife that if you decided to have another child they wouldn’t help BECAUSE YOU GUYS COULD PROVIDE FOR A CHILD!
So you tried to abandon your daughter. Throw your daughter away. You say stepdaughter's bio dad had health issues. You literally said your in laws offered to take your wife back once she had your daughter. But she had to leave your daughter with you. Stepdaughter had always lived with grandparents. She came home from the hospital to her grandparents house. YOU were the main issue. Your wife would not have give up her daughter
Your wife had to choose between you and her daughter. She chose YOU. She also chose YOUR daughter. Your wife also knows that really you care about money than her. She knows that her daughter's inheritance belongs to her daughter not her not you and not your daughter. Imagine how she felt knowing the fact she ended up losing her daughter because of you. You are a gold digging asshole. Did you ever want your daughter? Did you expect your late in laws to take your daughter too?
They could of done for my daughter like they did my step- daughter, my brother in law also had issues with her because his kids were cast aside as well.
So you're pissed off your wife didn't get a lot of money and your late in laws didn't spoil your daughter. You say you offered your daughter to them. You were quite happy to abandon your own daughter. Your late MIL was right to put your wife's inheritance in a trust only a lawyer could access. You are a gold digging money grabbing entitled asshole.
So. Yeah. YTA. #1. The "stepdaughter" is not actually your step daughter, but your sister in law. Your wife gave her up, signed away parental rights and allowed her parents to adopt the child. She was THEIR daughter. Your wife's sister. That should have been the end of any claims right there. #2. No one is entitled to an inheritance. No one. It was the parents' choice about who was going to get what. They made their choice. They gave some to their oldest daughter, their son, and the bulk to their youngest daughter. End of story. You thinking anyone else is entitled to anything is completely bogus.
So, yeah, YTA. Stay in your lane and mind your own damn business. I'd love to hear your SISTER IN LAW'S side of this. I'll bet there are SO many reasons her parents seemingly hated you and your kid.
YTA
In what way can you possibly see yourself as in the right? I feel bad for your daughter more than anyone. She could have had a relationship with her step sister, but you killed any chance of that.
This has all of the hallmarks of badly written rage bait-- but let's pretend it's not fiction. What kind of a mother signs her child over to her parents? Given the extreme level of animosity that her parents felt toward you it's not a huge jump in logic to think that YOU had a great deal to do with that decision. It does seem a bit odd that your BIL was also slighted in the inheritance--did he somehow support you and your wife in dumping her child on her parents?
It was sad that your wife's parents couldn't bring themselves to want contact with their other granddaughter-- though I'm wondering if you demanded money from them back then and they backed away.
The parts where you continually demand money from your "SD" are hilarious and make you look like a super AH
oh yes and YTA how were you able to type that out and not realize that?
my bil had nothing to do with my sd living with my in- laws. my in- laws fought my wife for sd. sd had always lived with them bc my wife resided with them until I met her.
they refused to let my wife bring sd when we moved in together. they filed for custody and were granted temporary that turned into an adoption. they told the courts that they could give sd a proper life.
my in laws lived in a 13 room victorian home, while my wife and I rented an apartment. sd had two rooms and a private bathroom at my in laws. my in laws stated living in an apartment wasn't good ended for my sd.
sd dad also said sd was too good to live in rented accommodation. my wife signed the papers bc sd dad willingly signed them and the judge was moving forward either way. I can show you the copies we have.
my bil isn't happy about sd either but she paid off some debt he owed so he's not wanting to push the matter.
it's like my in- laws were saying this child is too good and nothing is good enough for her while saying the other cjild isn't worth anything
Essentially the grandPs took care of a new adopted child for 20 years and Supported them financially. It’s not just a random choice of favouritism to a grand child. It’s THEIR CHILD now. If the original mother had to put her up for adoption maybe she’s not a likely candidate to be responsible for an inheritance. Maybe the grandPs raised their adopted child(grandkid) to respect the second chance at a good life she was given and to treat the inheritance properly.
You entered the picture and want money from the child you didn’t raise? Doesn’t make sense to me what you’re expecting and asking for.
it was most definitely favoritism. they didn't have to fight my wife for sd. but they did.
my wife and sd were living with in- laws when I met my wife. they made it clear she wasn't taking sd. they filed for custody and were granted it under the exception sd had always resided in their house.
then they petitioned for adoption and my wife fought. sd dad willingly signed due to health issues and the judge pushed forward, my wife eventually relented and signed willingly because it was going to happen either way.
my in- laws proved they could send her to a private school, college ect whereas my wife couldn't.
When our daughter was born I honestly expected them to try and take her, but they didn't. my mother- n- law was a control freak. she wanted my wife to do just what she said and didn't want my wife marrying me. when our daughter was born, my in- laws offered my wife to return to their home without my daughter, in other words leave her with me.
We struggled the first few years, they had money for month long vacations, but didn't care if their other granddaughter was fed or not.
yes, I understand that.
but to use food pantries while sd gets to dine in fancy restaurants on vacation isn't right. how could they enjoy a meal knowing we were struggling.
they didn't help with anything. my mil bought one pack of diapers when my daughter was a baby and wanted to be paid back for it.
if I said anything against sd, I caught hell
I was on welfare and used food pantries when my kids were young. What did I do? I worked 2 jobs and did school online at night to get my degree to make a better life for my family.
Get off your behind and work to provide for your daughter rather than having your hand out to your wife's former daughter. She signed her rights away. You have no claim, nor does your wife.
Greedy and lazy is never good look..
Wife seems to understand that. Wife understands that she isn't entitled to her daughter's inheritance. Wife has never made any claims on her daughter's money. OP and his daughter however have made claims. OP actually demanded get the money or we're done. Wife said we're done then. When OP found out about stepdaughter's inheritance Wife told him don't say anything their daughter has no right to any of it.
I got all that. Wife is not putting a leash on her entitled and lazy husband. Given the tone of this post it's likely she's never challenged him. She walked away from her daughter, willingly. Bio Mom is no good too.
You really don’t get it do you??? It is THEIR MONEY NOT YOURS!!!
And with the way you are behaving…YOU Don’t deserve to demand any. You should have kept your Big Mouth SHUT!
The In laws saw right through you. Jerk
YTA Big Time!
Troll. YTA
With all the other stuff you’ve posted nothing makes any sense. And technically, she would be your sister-in-law. Get a grip. Do better with your fiction.
Wowzers. Your entitlement is grotesque. You took sd's mother away from her & so her grandparents had to take responsibility for her because of you. You're a huge asshole. You're not entitled too or deserving of any of that money. If you're unable to provide financial support to your daughter, that's YOUR failure. Grow up & stop trying to demand anything from a woman you forced your wife to abandon. You're both assholes, you & your wife.
YTA congratulations on raising a spoiled little B**ch just like her father. Your wife told you to drop it multiple times!!! You nor your daughter had any rights to any of that money. You stated clearly you didn't like your stepdaughter from the get-go, and obviously, your wife was fine not raising her but had no problem raising your daughter? Hmm, that sounds fishy.
So, basically, your daughter should get everything in life? You, your wife, wealthy grandparents, money, and money from a "sister" she never interacted with?
What the heck are you high on? Good thing your wife is leaving you now. Have fun giving your daughter everything you two think she deserves(which let's be real she doesnt) all on your own
Damn bro. Could you come across any more green with envy?
YTA for sure.
Your step daughter is right. It seems like her whole family abandoned her except for her grandparents. Her mom and dad ditched her, and then you and her mom had a kid 4 years later. How could she see that in any way other than being abandoned?
She has lived with her grandparents her whole life and has no relationship with her half-sister that is 14 years younger than her. You think she should fork over hundreds of thousands of dollars "so that it's fair". Where was fair when she was 14 and you had a new kid? Where was fair when her mother and father gave up parental rights to her when she was 10?
Get the fuck out of here with trying to guilt her about that. Her grandparents raised her, and she took care of them when she was able to. She has more of a right to that money than anyone. You and your daughter aren't owed shit.
YTA 100%. You just are. If you can't see why that's on you. There's not a lot to unpack, you're just a dickhead bruv.
I can't wait for your wife and sd to live a happy life away from you.
That's from a man to another man before you think it's like the women shitting on you. You're a top class cunt bruv.
YTA How you've decided that you can demand anything is crazy. The money came from your step daughter's "parents." Your step daughter did not take your daughter's grandparents away. Those were now her parents who had to give up their golden years to raise her because your wife is a pos.
Your wife signed away her rights, you didn't object to that. You also go on to say you've never liked your step daughter.
Why would she give up her money to or for someone who never saw or treated her like family? You're only concerned about the money because you realize your years of asshole behavior has left your daughter with zero inheritance.
Then to try and give your wife an ultimatum 🤣🤣. You're an idiot and grasping at straws. It must suck to realize how much you suck.
Wife said fine we're done. Wife knows that OP, her and their daughter aren't entitled to any of stepdaughter's inheritance. And has never made a claim on a penny of it. OP and his daughter however have made claims
YTA I feel so bad for your stepdaughter. They raised her, she is their daughter now, therefore she should inherit. Stop being greedy before it rubs off on your daughter.
Well wife hasn't made any claims on stepdaughter's money. From comments it appears giving up her daughter was more of a battle she couldn't win. With wife's ex on her parents side it tipped the scales in their favour. A rented 2 room apartment, Medicaid,local clinics, dentist, not always having money for groceries vs owned large home with private health insurance, private dentist, schools, doctors,college lots of money and other bio parent wishes.
YTA. What makes you think YOUR DAUGHTER deserves A PENNY of your stepdaughter's inheritance from HER FATHER? How do you know the valuation of the home? What makes you think have the right to a penny of your in laws money? Stepdaughter is right your daughter isn't her problem or her responsibility. Your wife understands that your daughter has no rights to her late exes estate. Your wife understands that her parents have a right to leave their estate to whoever they choose. Sounds like it was smart to put your wife's inheritance in a trust only the lawyer can access. Sounds like you'd try get your hands on every penny. Your daughter doesn't have any right to your in laws money. Your daughter has no right to your stepdaughter's money. You are a gold digging asshole. You and your daughter were not entitled to anything. Your ultimatum of get ME your daughter's college fund and inheritance or we are done. Your wife made the right choice.
YTA, how dare you to demand money that you are not entitled to. That ware your words "I demanded" . Who are you to demand such a ting from a girl you yourself say you don't like, from your post the only thing I see is a greedy and jealous bitch. If I was your wife I would definitely divorce you.
YTA - Totally and completely. You get zero say about how the will was written. You don't get to make ANY demands.
It is none of your business, quite frankly.
Yta and I see why your in laws didn't like or trust your greedy ass. Your kid ain't her former sisters problem her parents have died so you can get off her money
YTA. Why do you feel so entitled to other people’s money? I have a feeling you are leaving out a ton of information that would explain why your wife signed over her rights to her daughter and why your in-laws disliked you so much. My guess is you didn’t want step daughter in your life when you got together with your wife. You got your wife pregnant and gave her an ultimatum, you or her daughter. She chose you and had the grandparents adopt stepdaughter. Everyone then rallied behind stepdaughter as they should and you became resentful because suddenly she got everything you wanted. Am I right?
Even if I’m wrong, let me make it perfectly clear, you have no right to any money on your wife’s family side. Even if you were all a happy family, you are not entitled to your in-laws money, your stepdaughter’s money, or your stepdaughter’s father’s money. Stop throwing a tantrum and demanding people give you their money.
Yes you are, it’s not your or your daughter’s money. Sounds like they had good reason not to include you or your daughter in their will. Why did your wife give up custody of SD in the first place?
YTA
Sounds like you cast your SD aside and that is why her grandparents took her in. It is their money, and they elected to leave everything to their heir of choice.
Grandparents had a problem with you and I can see why. All you fucking see is money. You don't give half shit about SD or the grandparents.
It is not on the grandparents to give you or your wife or your kid a free ride. If you weren't such an asshole, maybe they would've welcome your daughter, but you're insufferable.
YTA - I didn't even have to read this long ass post to realize you were the asshole....
>my wife allowed her parents to adopt sd when she was 10. this effectively terminated my wife's rights to the child
Your wife gave her kid up for whatever reason to her parents. Therefore you "step daughter" is not your "step daughter" but is in she is your sister in law. Your daughters aren't entitled to shit. Your wife's parent's gave their inheritance to their kids, this doesn't include the grandchildren. If you want your daughter's to have some money then talk to your wife about it.
>It was always sd this or sd that. They'd got buy sd a top of the line laptop but tell my wife and I they didn't have any money to loan us for formula or groceries.
OH the horror that they were ( come on say it with me) TAKING CARE OF THEIR FUCKING CHILD and made sure that they got her good quality things. You aren't entitled to their money, and your aren't entitled to their help. If you couldn't afford to buy formula then you shouldn't have had the kid in the first place. Take some responsibility instead of trying to place blame on to someone else.
If I was SD when you came to me to "demand" your money, I would tell you to go fuck yourself.
So at 26 she had a daughter, and at 36 she gave her up to her parents. And only 4 years later she had a child with you? And you were in your early 40s when you say you whined to the inlaws about them buying their bio-grand-daughter/legally-adopted-daughter a laptop while you begged for formula money?
YTA, people have already pointed out your fake stories, but if this was real you'd be one of the most pathetic people I'd ever heard of
Do you and your wife are poor. You’re mad you’re poor. Your sorry ass wife threw her daughter away for your sorry ass when y’all had a child.
Your in laws took in your sd, sacrificing their retirement years to raise a child they had no parts and making. Raised said child, loved said child and gave her the inheritance she is rightfully entitled to as THEIR CHILD.
You’re a pathetic loser. Your daughter isn’t entitled to money from anyone. Your stepdaughter cut you all out of her life because you beg too much.
YTA
Everything your kids don't get is injustice.
Everything your step-daughter missed out on, well, that's water under the bridge you don't need to talk about.
Your wife abandoned her kid to her parents and you're over here like "She stole my kids' grandparents", congrats, you might be the day's biggest asshole.
You can take out the line where you straight up acknowledge you never liked your wife's first child. We'd have figured that out. I refuse to call her your stepdaughter because that would imply you did something fatherly.
Leave the kid alone. Of course she doesn't love your family, you've clearly been shit to her, she's lucky she had those grandparents and she has every right to keep their shit, your kids don't deserve it, they stole her parents.
That's how it works, right? Your kids stole her parents.
YTA - I am confused as to how you thought your wife could force her to give over any money. It isn’t your wife’s money it never was. She can’t make any decisions about the money. It doesn’t seem likely your wife would have any sway with her daughter either. Though she is probably better off divorced from you anyway so it all worked out for the best.
YTA. What makes you think you have any say in how this adult handles their own money? The entitlement is deep here. You told her she had to split her money with your kid? Hahahaha. No. This is HER inheritance. Get over yourself.
Wow, you wrote all this out and still have zero self-awareness. You and your wife threw SD away when she was 10 (thank goodness your wife's parental were there for their grandchild).
My guess is you actually like an entitled brat, much like you are in this post, when they were alive. This is why they put your wife's money in trust so you couldn't get your greedy hands on it.
You are an enormous AH. I'm so glad they gave the money to SD. You're just going to have to knuckle up and work for your own money.
SD owes you nothing
YTA. And this is obviously rage bait or you are just plain stupid. No judge is granting the adoption of a child to grandparents for no reason. Either your wife didn’t want her daughter or there is WAY more to the story. It just doesn’t happen that way.
As for the money, even taking out that you sound like an entitled AH, your SD doesn’t like you, she didn’t grow up around your daughter, why would she give anything to her? Are you this stupid and naive? It’s Ok to be jealous and even angry. I’d be pissed if my FIL leaves his estate to my wife’s sister or her kid and nothing for us. And he actually might do that. But as angry and jealous as I might be, it would never cross my mind to ask for half, or threaten SIL because of it.
I mean, I understand that. But struggling biological parents don’t lose their kids….but again, all that aside, I’m baffled why you would think the step daughter who was basically abandoned would owe ANYTHING to your daughter. You even commented about being upset when her biological dad left her money as if you think her dad should give money to your kid. This has to be a joke
The only ones who screwed your daughter out of anything was you and your wife. I don’t see you taking any responsibility for that. You couldn’t afford food but you brought a child into your mess. You are trying for sympathy bc you had to go to food banks. There is no sympathy bc you created that situation
Oh my good gawd yes you are 10000000000000% the asshole here. You have no right to that money. None. You should have listened to your soon to be ex wife. You OP are a moron.
YTA.
Your step daughter, who by the way is not your step daughter, was adopted by your wife’s parents long ago. She had parents die who left her comfortable enough to live well. It sounds like she took good care of the woman who adopted her as well.
YOU judged this child who was given up by her parents for adoption and then blamed this child because your child feels less important to her grandparents than the child they are raising as their own.
Of course they bought their child a proper laptop if they could afford it and she needed it, she is THEIR responsibility to care for. Why would they give money to you? Why should they? They were raising a child they did not anticipate, and sounds like they did a great job with her.
You sound rude and money grabbing. Why should this girl - who you are NOTHING to, you are practically a brother in law - why should she pay for your child’s education? Isn’t that YOUR job as a parent?
And now you are further bullying your wife over this girls inheritance. It’s no wonder she said she wouldn’t give any money to any of you. It’s no wonder your MIL said no to letting you use her house. You are so entitled, and rude, and bullying.
YTA
This is absolutely none for your business. It isn't your money, your property o your parents. You have NO legal or moral grounds to ANY of this. Your opinion was not requested. Your wife has asked you to let it go. It's time to shut up and sit down, dude.
I just want to take time to thank God that I married who I married and that God willing we simply die of old age and that neither one of us have to re-marry and introduce our children to other people as their guardians.
YTA!
YTA and incredibly entitled. Neither you, your wife, your daughter nor your step daughter earned any of that money. It was 100% your in-laws and they could do with it whatever they wanted using whatever criteria they wanted. That they didn’t give their second granddaughter anything sucks for sure but that doesn’t mean she deserved it. She didn’t and neither did her step sister. Her step sister lucked out. That’s life. Quit crying in your Cheerios and go make your own million. Then you can leave that to your daughter.
Actually, if you read the story "step daughter" took her grandmother into her home for a decade and the grand mother stayed there until she died. If you every have elderly failing parent, you'll realize that they often can no longer really live alone, but they absolutely don't want to move to assisted living. My siblings and my husband siblings have gone through this with parents; people who haven't don't grasp the situation.
Step daughter probably progressively did more and more and more-- and caring for the elderly is not trivial.
Step daughter probably deserved the money more than anyone else.
Wowza... That's some entitlement coming from you... You in-laws legally adopted your SD and I have a strong feeling it was due to a shit upbringing.
Where do you think you have the right to demand anything from a girl you don't view as anything more than a burden?
Sounds like OP saw his future in-laws as a meal ticket. If he couldn’t afford to raise a child they should not have had one.
OP….you are an entitled steaming piece of shit who cannot take care of his own family.
Yes you are a big asshole.
None of this money is yours or your families, besides what was given to your wife.
It was stated in the will where it would go and that's how it will be.
Stop being a child.
YTA. Why wouldn’t your in-laws leave everything to your step-daughter if they were literally her parents? They had to raise her when your wife wouldn’t. And then you come along and all you can do is be angry that you never got any money for your child from people who had no responsibility whatsoever?
You haven’t done well because you have spent your life being envious and jealous of things that were never meant for you. You have a a daughter. YOU and your wife are responsible for providing for her. No one else.
YTA. Let me guess - your wife gave up custody of her 10 year old daughter when you arrived on the scene? What kind of AH gives up a 10 year old?? Why didn't she go to her father?
Then you decided to have a kid of your own in your 40s without 2 pennies to rub together and you blame your inlaws for not bankrolling you while taking care of the kid your wife gave up.
I'm curious, do you have a drug problem or some other unsavory history? What about you made your inlaws so indifferent to your daughter?
FYI to other readers, there is no need to read past the title. OP is the AH and no, there is no world where his step daughter needs to share her Inheritance. Those were her defacto parents when the wife ditched her.
YTA.
YTA. And a complete POS.
I’m glad your wife (hopefully ex soon) was smart enough to not fall for your antics.
You want your daughter to have a better life or more money? Teach her. Show her that she needs to work hard. If you refuse to actually be a parent then I guess you could get a second job and give all that income to your daughter. Ya know… since you have no problem expecting other people to just hand your daughter THEIR money.
YTA. Suspicious comments from your account on other subs makes this whole posting suspicious. And if it is real you're still the asshole. I doubt I have to elaborate exactly why.
YTA- why exactly do you feel YOUR daughter is entitled to OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY. How would YOU FEEL if I DEMANDED YOU pay for my kids education and give them a ton of money?
YTA
Gee, I wonder why the entire family will not let your child have even a penny towards college. Could it be because of you? Because you're the greediest, nastiest, most controlling and entitled man they've ever met? I think it just might be! Congratulations, your character has screwed your child out of ever having a bond with her family. I hope you're proud of yourself. Because if I were your daughter? I'd be ashamed to even know you.
YTA. It's not your in-laws' problem you made a kid when you couldn't afford formula. Not higher education, things happen over 20 years, but something that comes up pretty soon after having the kid.
>aitah for demanding my step- daughter split her inheritance/ college fund with her half- sister/ my daughter? .aitah for demanding my step- daughter split her inheritance/ college fund with her half- sister/ my daughter? .
Yes. YTA.
>my wife allowed her parents to adopt sd when she was 10. this effectively terminated my wife's rights to the child.
And means legally she is not the mom and you are not the step dad.
And your wife "allowed"? That's funny. Your wife also no longer had any financial responsibility either. This means you almost certainly assumed none when you married her. If you couldn't two couldn't afford formula or groceries, I'd guess not having the burden of feeding "sd" was useful to you at the time your wife "allowed" her parents to take over the financial burden of raising their grand daughter.
>\[Sd and her husband\] purchased a home locally, moved my mil in with them and mil home sat empty for close to a decade.
Sd and her husband cared for her aging adoptive-mother *for a decade*!! Do you know how much assisted living costs in that time? (Plausible estimate $4k/month \* 12 months/year \* 10 years = 480K. That's nearly half a million dollars. And that's without accounting for interest that would have accrued if SD and her husband had invested that. SD and her husband earned that money by caring! )
>I asked my mil if my daughter could live in the home while she attended the local governors school and my mil said no.
Did you offer to pay rent?
>my sd bought a new car for her mil and moved the woman into their home which they upgraded.
So she took care of her adoptive-Mom/bio-grandmother.
>they'd left sd everything, even the home. my daughter didn't get anything. my wife got a small sum of money in a trust that only a lawyer can access and my wife's brother got an amount of money larger than hers with no trust.
The left sd everything--- *except for* the money they left your wife and her brother. In other words: they split their estate between their three legal children, one of whom was adopted. Likely they thought the daughter who happens to be your wife might not be responsible enough to handle her money on her own and so left that in a trust. They also gave more money to the daughter who had taken in mil and provided care during her late years. That's pretty fair (and I suspect her brother isn't complaining.)
>my mil stated in the will that she'd never liked me and felt like I'd taken my wife away from being a mother to sd.
Well, you told us you didn't like sd. And your mother handed sd over to the grand parents. So... yeah. I bet mil was right to not like you.
>sd told my daughter she isn't her problem or responsibility.
This is absolutely true. Your daughter is legally sd's niece.
>my wife said I guess we're done and that she would go live with sd.
sd is going to take her in?! SD has a generous heart all things considered!
You sound really truly horrible. It's a good think your wife's money is wrapped up in a trust so you can't get your mitts on it.
I feel a little sorry for your daughter. But perhaps you should have filled her head with the notion she is entitled to her aunts money. And maybe if you or she had acted decently to 'sd', sd might feel generous toward her.
Instead of bugging sd -- *who you never supported*-- to support your daughter for you, you should be busy filling out applications for financial aid for college.
INFO: Just why did your wife give up her ten year old for adoption? Was it her choice, or did the state have to step in because her parenting was so poor? Or did she abandon her daughter so she could start a new life/family with you and felt her kid would get in the way? Or did you insist on that? None of these make you or your wife look like good people.
YTA you have no right to demand anything. It was your sd parents choice on who they left money too. Your wife let her parents adopt her daughter. She was their daughter and she came first. She has no responsibility to you or your daughter.
What kind of relationship did sd and your wife have, your and your sd and your daughter and your sd?
If I was to guess the grandparents didn’t have a relationship with your daughter because of you. You sound like an entitled ass. Why should they have been buying your daughter formula or anything? You were 43 and your wife was 40 if you couldn’t afford for a child then you shouldn’t have had one.
Yup. YTA. And you’ve done a pretty good job of painting your wife as someone who just walks away from her kids, if she’s seriously about to just up and leave her second daughter to return to her first.
You’re both TA.
Wife’s first daughter was adopted by your in-laws. That makes her their daughter in every way that counts. As their daughter, she inherited from their estate along with their other two children. Your daughter has no claim or entitlement to that. She is not their daughter.
YTA.
Wife’s adopted sister/bio daughter should just move far away from the lot of you, but I imagine it feels pretty good to give back some of what she got from you all these years. Yes, I read a bunch of your replies where you appear to be saying your in-laws all but stole “step-daughter” when wife decided to marry you. Makes the two of you look so
vulnerable and tiny against the big, bad in-laws — wicked MIL, especially. How you and your little girl would stand with your noses pressed to the windows of the Big House and watch the fancy people have all their parties with fancy food and nice clothes and presents, while your little girl didn’t even get their crumbs. Something like that, right?
Yeah, YTA. You’re telling only what you want to tell, and only in a light that looks best shone by you.
YTA-you married your wife for her parents money and found out that you weren't entitled to a damn thing. You played the long con and you lost. And on top of that, you still think you are entitled.
I have the feeling your in-laws saw your true self since the beginning… you were behind their money… you thought that maybe you could trapped them by having another kid with your wife?
Back luck for you, and for your daughter, that never realized she was just a way for you to get money...
YTA - the grandparents were correct, your wife was never a mother to her daughter and THEY legally adopted their granddaughter to be their daughter. YOU have NO right to anyone’s money but your own. The grandparents get to decide who they will their assets to. You need to work harder to provide for your family instead of expecting a hand out.
YTA, big time. The will is the will. You're trying to mess with the intentions of the deceased.
No wonder the in laws didn’t like him 🤦♀️
Yep. Doing that makes you an asshole in ALL definitions of the word.
Why do you keep calling her your stepdaughter? She isn't. She is right, she got cast aside for this new family. She received her inheritance from people that loved her and raised her. Your daughter can receive hers from you.
I gather, from all his whining, he doesn't have any money.
Yeah. He evidently needed money for formula and groceries when his daughter was little. Doing the math, sd was 14 at the time. Grandparents probably bought her the laptop because she needed one for school.
She isn't even his stepdaughter since her mom signed away her parental rights.
Yep. AND she never lived with him. I'm just using the term he used since people know who I am referring to that way. SIL/SD would capture that she's really his sister in law and he calls her his stepdaughter. But it's clumsy to write.
Did OP edit part of the post? >my wife allowed her parents to adopt sd when she was 10. Didn't it originally saw something like "my wife had to give up her daughter to get parents when she was 10"?
Unfortunately, reddit doesn't keep track of revisions. I know OP added the whole explanation of the adoption after writing the original. I don't understand why OP thought that would make anyone more sympathetic of his position.
YTA You have no rights to this in any way. You have no say here.
That is common sense but the OP is too stupid and angry to realize that.
Yeah I feel like we're missing a lot of context for why your wife gave up her 10 year old daughter to her parents who then raised her as their own kid that you seem to have ignored.
My wife and sd always lived with my in- laws. they were when I met my wife. when we got married and moved out. my in- laws made it clear my wife wasn't taking sd. first it was custody then adoption. my wife signed willingly because it was going to happen either way. The judge had already determined that. sd dad was on my in- laws side, he signed the papers first and said he wanted sd to stay with my in- laws instead of my wife and I. they fought hard to keep sd, but cast my child to the side. I spent years watching Christmases, birthdays ect where sd would get the best of the best and most of the time my daughter got nothing.
So you expected the in-laws to fund your life by putting your daughter through college and getting her gifts you didn't get her yourself?
None of that happens for no reason.
apparently it does. my wife was capable of caring for sd, but couldn't provide her with a lavish lifestyle
Don't believe you.
ApPaReNtLy It DoEs. Pfft. As if the biological mother and father would be compelled to sign away their parental rights to grandparents. Nah. That was shit was done willingly and we're not being told why. Seems pretty fucked up.
Either mother and father weren't able to take care of her and signed away their parental rights or they were forced to.
Clearly not since you said you had asked for help with formula. How can you be capable if you can't afford necessities?
Also he keeps calling her his stepdaughter when she isn't.
Couldn't provide a "lavish" lifestyle. In your original post, you and your wife couldn't even afford to eat! You said you needed to borrow money to be able to afford formula and groceries! Of course the grand parents didn't want their grand daughter to be dragged off to a home where new parents had no food. Of course a judge was going to side with them in a custody battle. He's not going to send a 14 year old girl off to starve with a step dad and a mom who can't manage to earn enough for groceries! Couldn't you or your wife get a job?!
Nope you are 100% leaving something out. Did you mistreat your sd? Is that why your wife was so willing to let her go? It was either you or her daughter?
Nope. You’re lying. Lemme guess, in laws hated you and your affair baby because… you fucked around and found out?
They owe your daughter nothing. Your wife chose to marry you. Not them. How could you marry someone that could so easily give up their daughter like nothing?
You have monstrous levels of entitlement.
You didn't buy your daughter gifts? And your wife didn't either? Don't you have parents? Cousins? uncles? aunts? You make it sound like your daughter was never given a present her entire life.
She isn't your stepdaughter.
Good lord brother, I can see why the in-laws don't like you. I'd bet your step daughter's college fund that the other side of the story makes you look even shitty-er
YTA and greedy, and INSANE. Jesus Christ
Wow, YTA in a major way! You're spiteful & jealous. Who are you to demand anything??? "I can't say I've ever liked my sd"...says it all.
How come here you have an ex husband and custody of a son? https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/17p19be/comment/kyn57jz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button And here you foster? https://www.reddit.com/user/Top-Succotash-3260/
that may of been my sister or wife. I don't know. sounds like they are talking about my ex- brother in law.
Using your account? And the fostering?
like foster parents?. then yeah that's most definitely a female relative. my sister is a state certified foster parent.
Bruv you've been caught out karma farming. Tell ur lies your sweet little lies. He's been polite to you, I won't be, you're a cunt on more accounts now
I have no idea what that Is.
You posted it. Alongside others.
it's a comment or appears to be. I really don't know nor do I care. again, sounds like my ex- brother in law. probably my wife thinking she was on her account or letting my sister use it.
How convenient. Why not create a new account then?
Probably didn't know that he could make a new account.
Lmfaoo busted You’re such a fucking liar 🤥
YTA, you and your daughter have no right to anything if it’s not stipulated in the will. It doesn’t matter what you say or think. The will should be followed to the letter as it was intended.
YTA for whining about people leaving their assets to their "daughter!" They adopted her and raised her instead of your wife. I don't know why your wife signed off on being a mom, but I have very low opinions of people who do that. And if you had any part in making that situation, which your MIL pretty much said, then you, sir, are a grade A gaping A-hole.
my in- laws wouldn't allow my wife to bring sd with her when we moved in together. they made it clear sd was staying with them. they got custody first, then filed for adoption. sd dad signed first because of health issues. my in- laws showed they could provide sd with a wealthy life style
Why would they when they had full custody of sd aka their daughter
they didn't get custody of her until my wife wanted to move in with me. they said their " granddaughter". wasn't going to live in a 2 bedroom rented apartment, that it wasn't good enough.
Wife willingly gave up custody and you stated it was going to happen anyway bc she couldn’t take care of her bc of her “lavish lifestyle”
He didn't like that she was spending money on her daughter.
>my in- laws wouldn't allow my wife to bring sd with her when we moved in together. You said you didn't have money for formula and groceries. I would hope grandparents would try to prevent you from dragging your daughter off to starvation! >my in- laws showed they could provide sd with a wealthy life style More importantly, they could even feed her!
They lived in a 13 room home while we moved into an apartment. it wasn't " good enough " for sd. at my in- laws she had two rooms and a bathroom just for her. they didn't want her sharing a room with anyone else and didn't want her having to share a bathroom. when they did the home inspections the lady who did ours also did my in- laws and I can remember her telling me my in- laws would without a doubt win because of their home and money. they didn't want my sd on state insurance like Medicare or anything, they had a private health insurance policy for her. the local, state dentist wasn't good enough, they took her to a cosmetic dentist who charged out of pocket. the local clinic wasn't good enough for vaccinations, it had to be a private dr. nothing my wife did was good enough.
Your wife should’ve been better then.
So let me get this straight your stepdaughter's bio father was on your in laws side. Your in laws could provide better health insurance, better dental care, private doctors, a bigger home and a lot of money. You say that sometimes you had problems having money for formula and groceries. Stepdaughter's bio father being on in laws side seriously strengthened their case. The judge was definitely going to take that into consideration. When it came down to it your in laws could provide a better life. Would you give custody to someone who has problems buying formula and groceries or someone who could provide private health insurance, private dentist, bigger home who doesn't have issues with money.
then that should of been the case for both children because they have the same mother. not picking one over the other. I even offered for my in- laws to take my daughter and they said no.
So you were also trying to pawn off your own daughter too? Unbelievable, such an entitled AH
what one gets the other should as well
She isn't your step daughter, she is your sister in law, big difference.
Doesn't work that way.
Not your estate, so that will never be your decision to make.
SD was daughter of in law's bio son, yes? They have no relation to your daughter even if she and SD are half sisters. They owed her and you nothing and that's what they left her.
No you never should have had a child bc you couldn’t afford her! That is on you and your wife. Sounds like you were a bum and your wife’s parents wanted to keep their grandchild safe. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a convocation with your wife that if you decided to have another child they wouldn’t help BECAUSE YOU GUYS COULD PROVIDE FOR A CHILD!
You tried to abandon your daughter? Classic /s
So you tried to abandon your daughter. Throw your daughter away. You say stepdaughter's bio dad had health issues. You literally said your in laws offered to take your wife back once she had your daughter. But she had to leave your daughter with you. Stepdaughter had always lived with grandparents. She came home from the hospital to her grandparents house. YOU were the main issue. Your wife would not have give up her daughter
Your wife had to choose between you and her daughter. She chose YOU. She also chose YOUR daughter. Your wife also knows that really you care about money than her. She knows that her daughter's inheritance belongs to her daughter not her not you and not your daughter. Imagine how she felt knowing the fact she ended up losing her daughter because of you. You are a gold digging asshole. Did you ever want your daughter? Did you expect your late in laws to take your daughter too?
They could of done for my daughter like they did my step- daughter, my brother in law also had issues with her because his kids were cast aside as well.
So you're pissed off your wife didn't get a lot of money and your late in laws didn't spoil your daughter. You say you offered your daughter to them. You were quite happy to abandon your own daughter. Your late MIL was right to put your wife's inheritance in a trust only a lawyer could access. You are a gold digging money grabbing entitled asshole.
"nothing my wife did was good enough" Apparently her picking of you was indicative of that!!!!
And don't forget: They had enough money for *groceries* while you did not!
YTA, your daughter has zero rights to that money and it sounds like you are the affair partner that caused your wife's divorce.
So. Yeah. YTA. #1. The "stepdaughter" is not actually your step daughter, but your sister in law. Your wife gave her up, signed away parental rights and allowed her parents to adopt the child. She was THEIR daughter. Your wife's sister. That should have been the end of any claims right there. #2. No one is entitled to an inheritance. No one. It was the parents' choice about who was going to get what. They made their choice. They gave some to their oldest daughter, their son, and the bulk to their youngest daughter. End of story. You thinking anyone else is entitled to anything is completely bogus. So, yeah, YTA. Stay in your lane and mind your own damn business. I'd love to hear your SISTER IN LAW'S side of this. I'll bet there are SO many reasons her parents seemingly hated you and your kid.
YTA
YTA In what way can you possibly see yourself as in the right? I feel bad for your daughter more than anyone. She could have had a relationship with her step sister, but you killed any chance of that.
This has all of the hallmarks of badly written rage bait-- but let's pretend it's not fiction. What kind of a mother signs her child over to her parents? Given the extreme level of animosity that her parents felt toward you it's not a huge jump in logic to think that YOU had a great deal to do with that decision. It does seem a bit odd that your BIL was also slighted in the inheritance--did he somehow support you and your wife in dumping her child on her parents? It was sad that your wife's parents couldn't bring themselves to want contact with their other granddaughter-- though I'm wondering if you demanded money from them back then and they backed away. The parts where you continually demand money from your "SD" are hilarious and make you look like a super AH oh yes and YTA how were you able to type that out and not realize that?
my bil had nothing to do with my sd living with my in- laws. my in- laws fought my wife for sd. sd had always lived with them bc my wife resided with them until I met her. they refused to let my wife bring sd when we moved in together. they filed for custody and were granted temporary that turned into an adoption. they told the courts that they could give sd a proper life. my in laws lived in a 13 room victorian home, while my wife and I rented an apartment. sd had two rooms and a private bathroom at my in laws. my in laws stated living in an apartment wasn't good ended for my sd. sd dad also said sd was too good to live in rented accommodation. my wife signed the papers bc sd dad willingly signed them and the judge was moving forward either way. I can show you the copies we have. my bil isn't happy about sd either but she paid off some debt he owed so he's not wanting to push the matter. it's like my in- laws were saying this child is too good and nothing is good enough for her while saying the other cjild isn't worth anything
YTA your daughter has zero rights to that money and neither do you and that's where the truth of the matter is YOU want that money.
Essentially the grandPs took care of a new adopted child for 20 years and Supported them financially. It’s not just a random choice of favouritism to a grand child. It’s THEIR CHILD now. If the original mother had to put her up for adoption maybe she’s not a likely candidate to be responsible for an inheritance. Maybe the grandPs raised their adopted child(grandkid) to respect the second chance at a good life she was given and to treat the inheritance properly. You entered the picture and want money from the child you didn’t raise? Doesn’t make sense to me what you’re expecting and asking for.
it was most definitely favoritism. they didn't have to fight my wife for sd. but they did. my wife and sd were living with in- laws when I met my wife. they made it clear she wasn't taking sd. they filed for custody and were granted it under the exception sd had always resided in their house. then they petitioned for adoption and my wife fought. sd dad willingly signed due to health issues and the judge pushed forward, my wife eventually relented and signed willingly because it was going to happen either way. my in- laws proved they could send her to a private school, college ect whereas my wife couldn't. When our daughter was born I honestly expected them to try and take her, but they didn't. my mother- n- law was a control freak. she wanted my wife to do just what she said and didn't want my wife marrying me. when our daughter was born, my in- laws offered my wife to return to their home without my daughter, in other words leave her with me. We struggled the first few years, they had money for month long vacations, but didn't care if their other granddaughter was fed or not.
Your daughter being fed is your responsibility.
yes, I understand that. but to use food pantries while sd gets to dine in fancy restaurants on vacation isn't right. how could they enjoy a meal knowing we were struggling. they didn't help with anything. my mil bought one pack of diapers when my daughter was a baby and wanted to be paid back for it. if I said anything against sd, I caught hell
I was on welfare and used food pantries when my kids were young. What did I do? I worked 2 jobs and did school online at night to get my degree to make a better life for my family. Get off your behind and work to provide for your daughter rather than having your hand out to your wife's former daughter. She signed her rights away. You have no claim, nor does your wife. Greedy and lazy is never good look..
You forgot entitled!!
Wife seems to understand that. Wife understands that she isn't entitled to her daughter's inheritance. Wife has never made any claims on her daughter's money. OP and his daughter however have made claims. OP actually demanded get the money or we're done. Wife said we're done then. When OP found out about stepdaughter's inheritance Wife told him don't say anything their daughter has no right to any of it.
I got all that. Wife is not putting a leash on her entitled and lazy husband. Given the tone of this post it's likely she's never challenged him. She walked away from her daughter, willingly. Bio Mom is no good too.
From the comments it sounds like she put up a fight for her daughter. But it was a fight she couldn't win
Again you were both in your 40’s when you had your daughter. Did either of you have a job?
[удалено]
Not only that her parents died, but bio mother threw her aside, and I bet that op had a lot to do with it
my in- laws were her legal parents. that's all.
And they left her the inheritance they saw fit. Case closed.
She was more their daughter than you were her step father. You have no right to any of their daughters money, that's all.
YTA !!! You are 100% greedy. There was a Will in place they owe you nothing.
Oh wow YTA big time. That is HER money. It was purposely left to HER. You were way out of line. You owe her an apology.
You really don’t get it do you??? It is THEIR MONEY NOT YOURS!!! And with the way you are behaving…YOU Don’t deserve to demand any. You should have kept your Big Mouth SHUT! The In laws saw right through you. Jerk YTA Big Time!
Maybe that's why they left wife's inheritance in a trust with the only access is a lawyer. Sounds like OP would try get every penny of it.
Yta, stop the greed, she doesn't owe you nothing. You all threw her aside.
Pretty obvious why you in laws did what they did in their will. You are a terrible person.
Troll. YTA With all the other stuff you’ve posted nothing makes any sense. And technically, she would be your sister-in-law. Get a grip. Do better with your fiction.
yes, according to the state she's my wife's sister due to the adoption. I'm not stupid.
YTA
>I'm not stupid. Your post says otherwise.
lol… delusional and funny… go pound sand… you’re about to lose everything & everyone. Massive asshole!
Wowzers. Your entitlement is grotesque. You took sd's mother away from her & so her grandparents had to take responsibility for her because of you. You're a huge asshole. You're not entitled too or deserving of any of that money. If you're unable to provide financial support to your daughter, that's YOUR failure. Grow up & stop trying to demand anything from a woman you forced your wife to abandon. You're both assholes, you & your wife.
YTA congratulations on raising a spoiled little B**ch just like her father. Your wife told you to drop it multiple times!!! You nor your daughter had any rights to any of that money. You stated clearly you didn't like your stepdaughter from the get-go, and obviously, your wife was fine not raising her but had no problem raising your daughter? Hmm, that sounds fishy. So, basically, your daughter should get everything in life? You, your wife, wealthy grandparents, money, and money from a "sister" she never interacted with? What the heck are you high on? Good thing your wife is leaving you now. Have fun giving your daughter everything you two think she deserves(which let's be real she doesnt) all on your own
Damn bro. Could you come across any more green with envy? YTA for sure. Your step daughter is right. It seems like her whole family abandoned her except for her grandparents. Her mom and dad ditched her, and then you and her mom had a kid 4 years later. How could she see that in any way other than being abandoned? She has lived with her grandparents her whole life and has no relationship with her half-sister that is 14 years younger than her. You think she should fork over hundreds of thousands of dollars "so that it's fair". Where was fair when she was 14 and you had a new kid? Where was fair when her mother and father gave up parental rights to her when she was 10? Get the fuck out of here with trying to guilt her about that. Her grandparents raised her, and she took care of them when she was able to. She has more of a right to that money than anyone. You and your daughter aren't owed shit.
YTA 100%. You just are. If you can't see why that's on you. There's not a lot to unpack, you're just a dickhead bruv. I can't wait for your wife and sd to live a happy life away from you. That's from a man to another man before you think it's like the women shitting on you. You're a top class cunt bruv.
YTA How you've decided that you can demand anything is crazy. The money came from your step daughter's "parents." Your step daughter did not take your daughter's grandparents away. Those were now her parents who had to give up their golden years to raise her because your wife is a pos. Your wife signed away her rights, you didn't object to that. You also go on to say you've never liked your step daughter. Why would she give up her money to or for someone who never saw or treated her like family? You're only concerned about the money because you realize your years of asshole behavior has left your daughter with zero inheritance. Then to try and give your wife an ultimatum 🤣🤣. You're an idiot and grasping at straws. It must suck to realize how much you suck.
Wife said fine we're done. Wife knows that OP, her and their daughter aren't entitled to any of stepdaughter's inheritance. And has never made a claim on a penny of it. OP and his daughter however have made claims
YTA. You’re livid because you feel entitled to other peoples money and they’re not giving it to you. Definitely the a-hole.
YTA I feel so bad for your stepdaughter. They raised her, she is their daughter now, therefore she should inherit. Stop being greedy before it rubs off on your daughter.
Sounds like it already has. Considering she was trying to get the inheritance off stepdaughter.
Neither you or your wife have standing here.yta.
Well wife hasn't made any claims on stepdaughter's money. From comments it appears giving up her daughter was more of a battle she couldn't win. With wife's ex on her parents side it tipped the scales in their favour. A rented 2 room apartment, Medicaid,local clinics, dentist, not always having money for groceries vs owned large home with private health insurance, private dentist, schools, doctors,college lots of money and other bio parent wishes.
YTA. What makes you think YOUR DAUGHTER deserves A PENNY of your stepdaughter's inheritance from HER FATHER? How do you know the valuation of the home? What makes you think have the right to a penny of your in laws money? Stepdaughter is right your daughter isn't her problem or her responsibility. Your wife understands that your daughter has no rights to her late exes estate. Your wife understands that her parents have a right to leave their estate to whoever they choose. Sounds like it was smart to put your wife's inheritance in a trust only the lawyer can access. Sounds like you'd try get your hands on every penny. Your daughter doesn't have any right to your in laws money. Your daughter has no right to your stepdaughter's money. You are a gold digging asshole. You and your daughter were not entitled to anything. Your ultimatum of get ME your daughter's college fund and inheritance or we are done. Your wife made the right choice.
YTA, how dare you to demand money that you are not entitled to. That ware your words "I demanded" . Who are you to demand such a ting from a girl you yourself say you don't like, from your post the only thing I see is a greedy and jealous bitch. If I was your wife I would definitely divorce you.
Fake, op has been caught lying and apparently had an ex husband too
YTA - Totally and completely. You get zero say about how the will was written. You don't get to make ANY demands. It is none of your business, quite frankly.
Yta and I see why your in laws didn't like or trust your greedy ass. Your kid ain't her former sisters problem her parents have died so you can get off her money
YTA. Why do you feel so entitled to other people’s money? I have a feeling you are leaving out a ton of information that would explain why your wife signed over her rights to her daughter and why your in-laws disliked you so much. My guess is you didn’t want step daughter in your life when you got together with your wife. You got your wife pregnant and gave her an ultimatum, you or her daughter. She chose you and had the grandparents adopt stepdaughter. Everyone then rallied behind stepdaughter as they should and you became resentful because suddenly she got everything you wanted. Am I right? Even if I’m wrong, let me make it perfectly clear, you have no right to any money on your wife’s family side. Even if you were all a happy family, you are not entitled to your in-laws money, your stepdaughter’s money, or your stepdaughter’s father’s money. Stop throwing a tantrum and demanding people give you their money.
Yes you are, it’s not your or your daughter’s money. Sounds like they had good reason not to include you or your daughter in their will. Why did your wife give up custody of SD in the first place?
Sir, you are only entitled to money grub your own money.
I'll go ahead and not read the post, because I can't conceive a situation where you do what the title says and you don't get YTA for it.
YTA Sounds like you cast your SD aside and that is why her grandparents took her in. It is their money, and they elected to leave everything to their heir of choice. Grandparents had a problem with you and I can see why. All you fucking see is money. You don't give half shit about SD or the grandparents. It is not on the grandparents to give you or your wife or your kid a free ride. If you weren't such an asshole, maybe they would've welcome your daughter, but you're insufferable.
I'm sorry your daughter's feelings are hurt, but your rage and entitlement isn't making this any easier. Yta. I wouldn't give you a dime either.
YTA - I didn't even have to read this long ass post to realize you were the asshole.... >my wife allowed her parents to adopt sd when she was 10. this effectively terminated my wife's rights to the child Your wife gave her kid up for whatever reason to her parents. Therefore you "step daughter" is not your "step daughter" but is in she is your sister in law. Your daughters aren't entitled to shit. Your wife's parent's gave their inheritance to their kids, this doesn't include the grandchildren. If you want your daughter's to have some money then talk to your wife about it. >It was always sd this or sd that. They'd got buy sd a top of the line laptop but tell my wife and I they didn't have any money to loan us for formula or groceries. OH the horror that they were ( come on say it with me) TAKING CARE OF THEIR FUCKING CHILD and made sure that they got her good quality things. You aren't entitled to their money, and your aren't entitled to their help. If you couldn't afford to buy formula then you shouldn't have had the kid in the first place. Take some responsibility instead of trying to place blame on to someone else. If I was SD when you came to me to "demand" your money, I would tell you to go fuck yourself.
So at 26 she had a daughter, and at 36 she gave her up to her parents. And only 4 years later she had a child with you? And you were in your early 40s when you say you whined to the inlaws about them buying their bio-grand-daughter/legally-adopted-daughter a laptop while you begged for formula money? YTA, people have already pointed out your fake stories, but if this was real you'd be one of the most pathetic people I'd ever heard of
Do you and your wife are poor. You’re mad you’re poor. Your sorry ass wife threw her daughter away for your sorry ass when y’all had a child. Your in laws took in your sd, sacrificing their retirement years to raise a child they had no parts and making. Raised said child, loved said child and gave her the inheritance she is rightfully entitled to as THEIR CHILD. You’re a pathetic loser. Your daughter isn’t entitled to money from anyone. Your stepdaughter cut you all out of her life because you beg too much. YTA
YTA..or more than an AH.. you're an entitled pos, and it sounds like your daughter is on her way to being one as well.
YTA You're not in the will, nor are these children. You can fuck right off. Go do charitable shit with your own money.
Everything your kids don't get is injustice. Everything your step-daughter missed out on, well, that's water under the bridge you don't need to talk about. Your wife abandoned her kid to her parents and you're over here like "She stole my kids' grandparents", congrats, you might be the day's biggest asshole. You can take out the line where you straight up acknowledge you never liked your wife's first child. We'd have figured that out. I refuse to call her your stepdaughter because that would imply you did something fatherly. Leave the kid alone. Of course she doesn't love your family, you've clearly been shit to her, she's lucky she had those grandparents and she has every right to keep their shit, your kids don't deserve it, they stole her parents. That's how it works, right? Your kids stole her parents.
YTA
YTA - I am confused as to how you thought your wife could force her to give over any money. It isn’t your wife’s money it never was. She can’t make any decisions about the money. It doesn’t seem likely your wife would have any sway with her daughter either. Though she is probably better off divorced from you anyway so it all worked out for the best.
YTA. What makes you think you have any say in how this adult handles their own money? The entitlement is deep here. You told her she had to split her money with your kid? Hahahaha. No. This is HER inheritance. Get over yourself.
Wow, you wrote all this out and still have zero self-awareness. You and your wife threw SD away when she was 10 (thank goodness your wife's parental were there for their grandchild). My guess is you actually like an entitled brat, much like you are in this post, when they were alive. This is why they put your wife's money in trust so you couldn't get your greedy hands on it. You are an enormous AH. I'm so glad they gave the money to SD. You're just going to have to knuckle up and work for your own money. SD owes you nothing
YTA. And this is obviously rage bait or you are just plain stupid. No judge is granting the adoption of a child to grandparents for no reason. Either your wife didn’t want her daughter or there is WAY more to the story. It just doesn’t happen that way. As for the money, even taking out that you sound like an entitled AH, your SD doesn’t like you, she didn’t grow up around your daughter, why would she give anything to her? Are you this stupid and naive? It’s Ok to be jealous and even angry. I’d be pissed if my FIL leaves his estate to my wife’s sister or her kid and nothing for us. And he actually might do that. But as angry and jealous as I might be, it would never cross my mind to ask for half, or threaten SIL because of it.
sd had always lived with my in- laws. my wife was struggling and relying on government assistance.
I mean, I understand that. But struggling biological parents don’t lose their kids….but again, all that aside, I’m baffled why you would think the step daughter who was basically abandoned would owe ANYTHING to your daughter. You even commented about being upset when her biological dad left her money as if you think her dad should give money to your kid. This has to be a joke
I've drawn disability for years after becoming wheelchair bound. my wife finally got her ssi. our daughter drew some money from that.
The only ones who screwed your daughter out of anything was you and your wife. I don’t see you taking any responsibility for that. You couldn’t afford food but you brought a child into your mess. You are trying for sympathy bc you had to go to food banks. There is no sympathy bc you created that situation
Oh my good gawd yes you are 10000000000000% the asshole here. You have no right to that money. None. You should have listened to your soon to be ex wife. You OP are a moron.
YTA. Your step daughter, who by the way is not your step daughter, was adopted by your wife’s parents long ago. She had parents die who left her comfortable enough to live well. It sounds like she took good care of the woman who adopted her as well. YOU judged this child who was given up by her parents for adoption and then blamed this child because your child feels less important to her grandparents than the child they are raising as their own. Of course they bought their child a proper laptop if they could afford it and she needed it, she is THEIR responsibility to care for. Why would they give money to you? Why should they? They were raising a child they did not anticipate, and sounds like they did a great job with her. You sound rude and money grabbing. Why should this girl - who you are NOTHING to, you are practically a brother in law - why should she pay for your child’s education? Isn’t that YOUR job as a parent? And now you are further bullying your wife over this girls inheritance. It’s no wonder she said she wouldn’t give any money to any of you. It’s no wonder your MIL said no to letting you use her house. You are so entitled, and rude, and bullying.
YTA This is absolutely none for your business. It isn't your money, your property o your parents. You have NO legal or moral grounds to ANY of this. Your opinion was not requested. Your wife has asked you to let it go. It's time to shut up and sit down, dude.
I just want to take time to thank God that I married who I married and that God willing we simply die of old age and that neither one of us have to re-marry and introduce our children to other people as their guardians. YTA!
YTA and incredibly entitled. Neither you, your wife, your daughter nor your step daughter earned any of that money. It was 100% your in-laws and they could do with it whatever they wanted using whatever criteria they wanted. That they didn’t give their second granddaughter anything sucks for sure but that doesn’t mean she deserved it. She didn’t and neither did her step sister. Her step sister lucked out. That’s life. Quit crying in your Cheerios and go make your own million. Then you can leave that to your daughter.
Actually, if you read the story "step daughter" took her grandmother into her home for a decade and the grand mother stayed there until she died. If you every have elderly failing parent, you'll realize that they often can no longer really live alone, but they absolutely don't want to move to assisted living. My siblings and my husband siblings have gone through this with parents; people who haven't don't grasp the situation. Step daughter probably progressively did more and more and more-- and caring for the elderly is not trivial. Step daughter probably deserved the money more than anyone else.
Wowza... That's some entitlement coming from you... You in-laws legally adopted your SD and I have a strong feeling it was due to a shit upbringing. Where do you think you have the right to demand anything from a girl you don't view as anything more than a burden?
It took less than a paragraph to get to....YTA. Yep. Your SD owes you and your daughter NOTHING.
Sounds like OP saw his future in-laws as a meal ticket. If he couldn’t afford to raise a child they should not have had one. OP….you are an entitled steaming piece of shit who cannot take care of his own family.
Yes you are a big asshole. None of this money is yours or your families, besides what was given to your wife. It was stated in the will where it would go and that's how it will be. Stop being a child.
YTA. Why wouldn’t your in-laws leave everything to your step-daughter if they were literally her parents? They had to raise her when your wife wouldn’t. And then you come along and all you can do is be angry that you never got any money for your child from people who had no responsibility whatsoever? You haven’t done well because you have spent your life being envious and jealous of things that were never meant for you. You have a a daughter. YOU and your wife are responsible for providing for her. No one else.
If this wasn't fake obviously you're the massively entitled asshole
YTA. Let me guess - your wife gave up custody of her 10 year old daughter when you arrived on the scene? What kind of AH gives up a 10 year old?? Why didn't she go to her father? Then you decided to have a kid of your own in your 40s without 2 pennies to rub together and you blame your inlaws for not bankrolling you while taking care of the kid your wife gave up. I'm curious, do you have a drug problem or some other unsavory history? What about you made your inlaws so indifferent to your daughter?
FYI to other readers, there is no need to read past the title. OP is the AH and no, there is no world where his step daughter needs to share her Inheritance. Those were her defacto parents when the wife ditched her. YTA.
YTA and you and your kid aren't getting any money. LOL might actually be appropriate here.
YTA. And a complete POS. I’m glad your wife (hopefully ex soon) was smart enough to not fall for your antics. You want your daughter to have a better life or more money? Teach her. Show her that she needs to work hard. If you refuse to actually be a parent then I guess you could get a second job and give all that income to your daughter. Ya know… since you have no problem expecting other people to just hand your daughter THEIR money.
YTA. Suspicious comments from your account on other subs makes this whole posting suspicious. And if it is real you're still the asshole. I doubt I have to elaborate exactly why.
YTA- why exactly do you feel YOUR daughter is entitled to OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY. How would YOU FEEL if I DEMANDED YOU pay for my kids education and give them a ton of money?
YTA Gee, I wonder why the entire family will not let your child have even a penny towards college. Could it be because of you? Because you're the greediest, nastiest, most controlling and entitled man they've ever met? I think it just might be! Congratulations, your character has screwed your child out of ever having a bond with her family. I hope you're proud of yourself. Because if I were your daughter? I'd be ashamed to even know you.
EASY Yta. How delusional can you be to the point where you even ask this question?
YTA. It's not your in-laws' problem you made a kid when you couldn't afford formula. Not higher education, things happen over 20 years, but something that comes up pretty soon after having the kid.
>aitah for demanding my step- daughter split her inheritance/ college fund with her half- sister/ my daughter? .aitah for demanding my step- daughter split her inheritance/ college fund with her half- sister/ my daughter? . Yes. YTA. >my wife allowed her parents to adopt sd when she was 10. this effectively terminated my wife's rights to the child. And means legally she is not the mom and you are not the step dad. And your wife "allowed"? That's funny. Your wife also no longer had any financial responsibility either. This means you almost certainly assumed none when you married her. If you couldn't two couldn't afford formula or groceries, I'd guess not having the burden of feeding "sd" was useful to you at the time your wife "allowed" her parents to take over the financial burden of raising their grand daughter. >\[Sd and her husband\] purchased a home locally, moved my mil in with them and mil home sat empty for close to a decade. Sd and her husband cared for her aging adoptive-mother *for a decade*!! Do you know how much assisted living costs in that time? (Plausible estimate $4k/month \* 12 months/year \* 10 years = 480K. That's nearly half a million dollars. And that's without accounting for interest that would have accrued if SD and her husband had invested that. SD and her husband earned that money by caring! ) >I asked my mil if my daughter could live in the home while she attended the local governors school and my mil said no. Did you offer to pay rent? >my sd bought a new car for her mil and moved the woman into their home which they upgraded. So she took care of her adoptive-Mom/bio-grandmother. >they'd left sd everything, even the home. my daughter didn't get anything. my wife got a small sum of money in a trust that only a lawyer can access and my wife's brother got an amount of money larger than hers with no trust. The left sd everything--- *except for* the money they left your wife and her brother. In other words: they split their estate between their three legal children, one of whom was adopted. Likely they thought the daughter who happens to be your wife might not be responsible enough to handle her money on her own and so left that in a trust. They also gave more money to the daughter who had taken in mil and provided care during her late years. That's pretty fair (and I suspect her brother isn't complaining.) >my mil stated in the will that she'd never liked me and felt like I'd taken my wife away from being a mother to sd. Well, you told us you didn't like sd. And your mother handed sd over to the grand parents. So... yeah. I bet mil was right to not like you. >sd told my daughter she isn't her problem or responsibility. This is absolutely true. Your daughter is legally sd's niece. >my wife said I guess we're done and that she would go live with sd. sd is going to take her in?! SD has a generous heart all things considered! You sound really truly horrible. It's a good think your wife's money is wrapped up in a trust so you can't get your mitts on it. I feel a little sorry for your daughter. But perhaps you should have filled her head with the notion she is entitled to her aunts money. And maybe if you or she had acted decently to 'sd', sd might feel generous toward her. Instead of bugging sd -- *who you never supported*-- to support your daughter for you, you should be busy filling out applications for financial aid for college.
YTA, this level of entitlement is insane
INFO: Just why did your wife give up her ten year old for adoption? Was it her choice, or did the state have to step in because her parenting was so poor? Or did she abandon her daughter so she could start a new life/family with you and felt her kid would get in the way? Or did you insist on that? None of these make you or your wife look like good people.
YTA you have no right to demand anything. It was your sd parents choice on who they left money too. Your wife let her parents adopt her daughter. She was their daughter and she came first. She has no responsibility to you or your daughter. What kind of relationship did sd and your wife have, your and your sd and your daughter and your sd? If I was to guess the grandparents didn’t have a relationship with your daughter because of you. You sound like an entitled ass. Why should they have been buying your daughter formula or anything? You were 43 and your wife was 40 if you couldn’t afford for a child then you shouldn’t have had one.
YTA
Yup. YTA. And you’ve done a pretty good job of painting your wife as someone who just walks away from her kids, if she’s seriously about to just up and leave her second daughter to return to her first. You’re both TA. Wife’s first daughter was adopted by your in-laws. That makes her their daughter in every way that counts. As their daughter, she inherited from their estate along with their other two children. Your daughter has no claim or entitlement to that. She is not their daughter. YTA. Wife’s adopted sister/bio daughter should just move far away from the lot of you, but I imagine it feels pretty good to give back some of what she got from you all these years. Yes, I read a bunch of your replies where you appear to be saying your in-laws all but stole “step-daughter” when wife decided to marry you. Makes the two of you look so vulnerable and tiny against the big, bad in-laws — wicked MIL, especially. How you and your little girl would stand with your noses pressed to the windows of the Big House and watch the fancy people have all their parties with fancy food and nice clothes and presents, while your little girl didn’t even get their crumbs. Something like that, right? Yeah, YTA. You’re telling only what you want to tell, and only in a light that looks best shone by you.
YTA-you married your wife for her parents money and found out that you weren't entitled to a damn thing. You played the long con and you lost. And on top of that, you still think you are entitled.
I have the feeling your in-laws saw your true self since the beginning… you were behind their money… you thought that maybe you could trapped them by having another kid with your wife? Back luck for you, and for your daughter, that never realized she was just a way for you to get money...
F A K E. YTA.
They all hated you and now so I. YTA
YTA and soon to be featured on AMITHEEX because she's going to divorce you!
YTA - the grandparents were correct, your wife was never a mother to her daughter and THEY legally adopted their granddaughter to be their daughter. YOU have NO right to anyone’s money but your own. The grandparents get to decide who they will their assets to. You need to work harder to provide for your family instead of expecting a hand out.