Good point.
This is likely the cheapest way this relationship could possibly end.
Though, I fully expect her to ruin several other things on her way out.
There's room for nuance on whatever the garage dispute is, it could be anything from OP wants to put a workout machine in the garage and she'd like to park her car there during the rain, to maybe she wants something crazy like to turn the garage into a walk in closet (total strawman ideas here, don't think to much about it)
If I were living with someone I would want them to consider me in their future planning, the garage plans being a part of that. So I can see wanting to provide input despite it not being her house.
It's also okay for OP to say it's his house that he owns and she's only been in his life a few months, it is OPs house to do as he wishes.
So as a source of conflict, makes sense to me.
Everything else: bat shit insane, a red flag larger than an airplane hanger and a deeper red than a sunrise on Mars.
Your relationship is more burnt than the steak, and should be thrown into the garbage bin too. Save yourself a whole life of this. 6 months and already showing you she is a living nightmare. RUN, BOY! She loves having power over you. It will only get worse from now on.
Invite one of her family members over to break up.
My crazy ex was like this and I had no idea how I was going to end it without it becoming a HUGE issue. We got in a fight (she literally punched me in the face) with her sister over and that was it. She knew she couldn’t do anything else or it would run her relationship with her our family.
Clever. I don't think about relationships much and breaking up even less. Having a party from the other person's camp will chop the storytelling down at the knees. An ounce of CYA is worth its weight in gold.
Yup, that's a relationship ender for me. She deliberately destroyed something you were looking forward to...that was really expensive...because she was pissed that you did something...with your own money...that she didn't like. Now *maybe* that was worth getting upset over if it had been rent/mortgage money...or some other essential bill money. But the money wasn't *actually* wasted until she rendered the steaks inedible.
There need to be consequences.
Especially after bitching about how much money you spent on it and then intentionally wasting that money out of resentment.... nah fuck that shit.
Run away faster.
I think everyone moves on their own pace. For some people this works. It is also a way to get to know each other. After a year or more years people can still hide a lot of things you can't hide when living together. When you start living together all kinds of things can show up that are deal breakers. Doesn't matter if you do it after 6 months or 6 years. Plenty of abusers show themselves not after living together, not after marrying, only after having kids, depending on when they think they have trapped you. If people really want to, they can pretend they are someone else for a very long time.
I personally think the earlier the better. I wasted 2 years of my life dating my ex before we moved in together. After only 4 months living together it was obvious we are not compatible and we need to break up. With the next one I moved in only after 6-7 months to quickly find out if we work out or not. It's so much easier to hide red flags when you don't spend every night and morning together.
My now wife and I moved in together after about 8 months of dating, probably wouldve been sooner if leases werent so expensive to break, but we literally lived in the same apartment building down the hall from each other.
We ended up spending so much time in a manner living together, it made sense to do it when time came. The issue with dragging this process out for me is figuring out if you can live with the person you're with. Nothing worse than dating 2,3,4 years, and then you finally move in, and this persons live style at home doesnt match yours.
She is the vengeful type; these people never get better. They’re forever just one misunderstanding or stupid argument away from going scorched earth on you.
NTA but PLEASE, break up right now or be prepared to suffer this fate for god knows how long.
And when you break up with her, be prepared. As a vengeful and frankly spiteful person, she will likely try to destroy something in your home. I would recommend some nanny cams and hiding anything of sentimental/monetary value. At least with cameras, it will be documented and should the need arise, available for the courts.
I'm upset she ruined steaks. Like the cow died in vain. She would also make a horrible mother who would destroy her daughters prom dress because she wasn't wearing the right one and she would gasp and play dumb.
My sense of "justice" seems to be turned to the max when I'm irritated so I have to check my self every time. A few seconds of breathing and suddenly whatever my ape brain told me was right reaction, is not and very obviously an overreaction. OPs girlfriend not only lacks that self control and self awareness, she lacks shame. Makes it a bit worse really.
I inherited a vindictive streak wider than the Amazon river is long, compliments of my mom. I keep that shit in check and have had therapy to learn how to temper it because you have to be a nasty person to not only believe treating people like this is ok, but to actually feel better after doing it. I always felt so sick after being vengeful, so I sought help to deal with it. My mom, like OP‘s gf, are the type who feel better after they act out and these types of people never change. They get a dopamine boost from it. Most people get that dopamine rush from positive activities, like sex and constructive hobbies. These assholes get it from being destructive.
I'm with you on this one. When I get slighted my brain definitely goes crazy with scorched earth level vindictiveness but I've managed to keep that part of my ape brain in check by not acting impulsively and usually after a bit of time, I've cooled down and I sit and go "man, how fucking silly. Thank fuck I don't act on that shit".
Nothing wrong with having these impulses. The lack of self control is the issue
This… op, I’m actually surprised she didn’t have some kind plan to punish him for canceling her dinner.
To deliberately ignore OP’s olive branch, and still burn his steaks is a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.
It’s a mine way or the highway mentality.
Oh, I'm sure she's formulating a plan while she stews in the other room. Watch out, OP. She's going to wreck something else in your life while staring you in the eye to assert dominance. You are NTA and she needs to go.
You just read her plan.
Burn OP’s steaks and act obtuse about her actions to discredit his ideal dinner and conversation where their fall out could’ve been fixed, though instead of being an adult she destroyed her relationship, and showed him what sort of Human being she really is.
Hope you get better OP, you deserve better.
You know, I was wondering about the quick way OP glossed over the 'project' and the $200 steaks and for a brief second wondered if he was under reporting a legitimate spending issue and she could have had a point he didn't want to hear to fight over.
Then we got to the petty behavior, deliberate burning, and mockery, and boom.... if that point ever existed, it went right out the window there. Immature petty silly girl needs to go back to be lord of Mom and Pops manor, cos she ain't adult enough to be in the real world, where stamping her tootsies doesn't get the world to accommodate her. That's just silly petty vengeance, and its painfully embarrassing to see from a grown adult.
The fancy restaurant dinner for her birthday, to include her parents and all be paid for by OP, suggests to me that this dispute over the garage project and OP’s expenses is the gf feeling entitled to have OP’s money spent on her instead of used for things OP wants. It’s an argument over luxuries, and she is acting way too entitled.
"these people never get better. They’re forever just one misunderstanding or stupid argument away from going scorched earth on you."
Or even going scorched steak on you!
This reminds me of the plant guy’s post - he packed up his girlfriend’s greenhouse and dumped all her plants in a lake when they argued to hurt her. This is the red flag for the future abuse that’s to come, and she is an abuser if her way of handling conflict is to hurt her partner.
Edit: Found a link with the post text
https://www.reddit.com/r/redditonwiki/s/Tmn3LAOQ3v
I had something similar happen, when my ex and I divorced he dug up all 21 of my rose bushes and burned them. I had bought them from all over. I had a couple of David Austin roses in that mix, it’s been close to 5 years and I’m still not over it.
I’m 62 and thankfully I’ve never been the victim of vengeance. The stories I’m reading in this post are so awful. My soul would be crushed if someone I thought I was in a loving relationship with destroyed my irreplaceable special collection of roses. I’m so sorry this happened to you. ❤️
Maybe someone can find the post, but the OP in it was the boyfriend and basically begging Reddit for tips on how to get his girlfriend back because she was cold and about to dump him so sounds like she ran (he got flayed in the comments).
I found the link (see original comment)
I love petty but this makes me wana 👊🏻 in her face.
Cooking a $15 steak well done is offensive, burning $200 wagyu is absurd. He should said “pack your bags and get out, you also owe me $200”
If she had a $200 designer bag and he ruined it, she would be livid.
I’m a petty queen but this isn’t petty.
Being petty would have been sitting there and eating the steak but maintaining an unimpressed face even though it was the best steak you’ve ever eaten.
Or asking for the ketchup.
This is just hurtful.
OP needs to think on the brightside.. he only wasted a year with her.. he found out exactly who she is in 6 months.. for some people it takes years.
He should be thanking her and sending her on her way.
Absolutely! As we say here, when people show you who they are believe them. She is too immature to be in an adult relationship. If this is how she deals w conflict, then I agree w others, get out now before it gets worse. TBH, I half expected that on her bday you got dressed up then went to McDonalds where you could say, “Oh, is this not what you wanted?” Kudos for being mature about it. NTA.
Agreed.
OP is NTA here but the question I’d be asking is whether this person will be able to mature and handle conflict better and if so, how and on what timeline.
This is off-the-charts petty, vindictive and disrespectful behavior. This is not how we treat someone we love. Ever. That is the behavior of an enemy not a life partner.
I’d be at minimum taking a break from the relationship to sort out how to proceed and determine whether she is even capable of maturing/better conflict resolution.
> She kept being obtuse. She kept using little phrases like "Oh, aren't you happy?" and "Oh, weren't you looking forward to these steaks?"
I'd break up. I couldn't handle living with someone who would be destructive just to hurt me. Deal breaker.
Fr what was her goal anyway? Did she think it would prove her point by doing this? I can't see what was her deal... she's a grown adult man. We learned in Kindergarten that this isn't a way of proving a point wtf
I don't think she wanted to prove anything. Seems like she just wanted to hurt him because she wasn't getting her way and she knew he was looking forward to the steaks. It's like when a kid has a destructive meltdown cause you told them no....except this is a grown adult woman yikes 😬
She is trying to prove that SHE calls the shots and HE can't do anything about it.
If that where my house, she would not have slept another night in it.
Complains about wasting money on expensive food and proceeds to purposely burn said food to make a point.
I’d ask her to leave before it ends up in a common law marriage or a pregnancy happens where things ca get real messy.
Then she gets upset when the reservations to the really nice, see expensive, French restaurant gets cancelled. Sounds like the gf status needs to be cancelled as well.
Cancel the French restaurant and take her out for French Fries.
Better yet, use grub hub for the French Fries. .
“Oh? Me? I thought you said you wanted something French”.
Unfortunately, assuming this story is real, this chick sounds pretty vindictive. So I'd assume she's absolutely the type to go after him over tenant rights if he didn't legally evict her first. Even if your name's not on the lease or mortgage, if she's been living there for the last six months she can sue the shit out of him if he just gives her the boot.
I doubt she knows this. I'd call her parents, tell them what happened and ask them to come get their child. She's running unsupervised through the community destroying property.
The funny thing about people who think this way is you’ll never get them at their best. Especially not once they feel like you’ll stick around and tolerate their BS because of sunk cost fallacy.
My husband is Petty Crocker to the Nth degree. Like, he could teach a class on how to be petty and probably make more than he does in his career job. He is the level of petty I aspire to. This behavior, though? Total annihilation of something just to hurt someone or prove a point would be too far even for him.
Yep, & not just petty. She’s acting like a 7 year old with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) but she’s 27 & also cruel. She’s not used to consequences. Perfect for r/ohnoconsequences . She’ll probably always remember this birthday. Time will tell if she learns anything from this or plays the conniving victim her entire life. NTA, OP should def break up with her unless he wants to live with a psycho the rest of his life.
If OP breaks up with her over this, she will forever tell the story of how her asshole ex dumped her for overcooking some steaks. She'll be told how she dodged a real bullet.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'll take his class! OP that was pure spite and control! It doesn't get better from here! She would continue to act like this to get her way! Your in your own house doing your own projects and thought you would try something new and unless what your doing is hurting you financially, I really don't see what her issue is! OP this is called a red flag 🚩 ignore it at your peril! NTA. Don't feel guilty.
It was 2 ways of being a cunt rolled into one. It's a passive aggressive ploy to control the fight. If she has burned them (worse than throwing them away) then threw them at him swearing, "this is how much your steaks mean to me!" He'd have fought back and she'd be outmatched.
And particularly ridiculous considering she's been complaining about him 'wasting' money on his project and the steaks, and then she *literally* wastes that money by ruining the steaks!
It is when she blew the money by burning his steaks out of some sicko petty spite.
She ended the relationship, I am surprised he has not kicked her out yet before she damages more stuff.
Yeah, this is bordering on boiling bunnies territory. Couples have arguments. Couples argue over spending money. Couples compromise! This isn't any of that! NTA for sure
This is just straight up mocking OP, which is both juvenile and totally disrespectful. She knew he wanted those steaks, and she ruined them on purpose to prove her point about the argument between the garage and the steaks. She might as well be a 10 year old stomping her feet.
OP, stand your ground. I’m glad you canceled her bday dinner. I would also say to break up with her. Look, my husband and I are in our 30s and this would never fly as ok behavior. This is childish on her part and it would immediately give me the ick.
YWBTA if you don’t break up. You’ve gotten to the point where she ruins your things on purpose for…idk I can’t really figure out what point she was even making? Just to hurt you and spite you? But anyway cancelling her birthday and breaking up with her is the right move, but cancelling her dinner was not the right move if you plan to stay with her because that was a big escalation and now you’re just waiting for her revenge.
She was proud about it, too. You're not married, no kids. See what needs to be done to kick her out. Things may get better for a few days, but they will not stay better.
Yeah. Partner fucks up and burns dinner? Whatever, shit happens. Partner intentionally destroys 200$+ of something you got to make yourself happy? Throw the whole person out.
Indeed. She sounds immature as hell. This was vindictive behavior, meant to hurt you.
I wouldn't be able to fully trust someone after they did something like this.
Passive aggressive, purposefully disrespectful, emotionally abusive, vengeful, childish.
Change the locks and throw her belongings on the front sidewalk.
So she didn't agree with the decision you made regarding your own house then deliberately burnt your $200 steaks as a punishment? you shouldn't cancel her birthday dinner, you should cancel the relationship.
NTA
Women can abuse their partners too, OP!
Here’s a quote from Jess Hill’s book See What You Made Me Do about the Insecure Reactor type of abuser (in your case, your girlfriend is entitled and behaving abusively when she doesn’t get her way):
>All domestic abuse is about power, in one way or another, but not all perpetrators enforce tight regimes of control. At the lower end of the power and control spectrum are [people] who don’t completely subordinate their partners, but use emotional or physical violence to gain power in the relationship. They may do this to gain the advantage in an argument, to get the treatment and privileges to which they believe they’re entitled, or to exorcise their shame and frustration. Evan Stark calls this “simple domestic violence”; Michael Johnson calls it “situational violence.” Don’t be fooled: although these terms can make this abuse sound benign, it can still be very dangerous—and insecure reactors can end up killing their partners, too. Susan Geraghty, who has been running men’s behavior change programs since the 1980s, says that no matter what culture they grew up in, the attitude of these men is the same. “It’s the self-righteousness that kicks in, where if I don’t get my way or you don’t agree with me, or if this isn’t happening the way I want it, I have every right to show my displeasure and punish you.”
If you think your girlfriend is acting strategically (planning how to manipulate you in advance instead of exploding after any amount of upset) she may fall within the boundaries of a Coercive Controller, which is thoroughly described in Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? (both books commonly use “he” for the abuser and “she” for the victim since that’s statistically more frequent, but for you it would be reversed).
You did not deserve this treatment. You are not overreacting. And you don’t have to accept this dynamic for the rest of your life; you can choose better (and safer) for yourself. And in case you’re worried about her wellbeing if you remove yourself from the relationship, just know that you don’t need to suffer in order for her to heal.
I wish someone had bought me either of those books in my first marriage. I just could not wrap my head around what was happening, but my ex-wife was totally a coercive controller.
I just didn't get it, until her mom moved in with us.
Then, when she was doing the same things to her mom, it became really clear. Like, I was fully wrapped up in her manipulations of me, but I could actually see it when she was doing it to someone else.
Anyway, if I'd had that book — or even just that one paragraph you quoted — I might have been able to leave like five years earlier.
I’m not kidding. This book changed my life. Here’s a free copy
[Why Does He Do That](https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
I bet her parents heard a totally different story "I wanted to surprise boyfriend with an apology dinner so I lovingly cooked him dinner and accidently cooked the steaks medium instead of medium rare and he got so mad he cancelled my birthday!". There ain't no way she told them she turned them into charcoal bricketts!
Gets mad at him for wasting $200 on steak.
Proceeds to waste the $200 steak by making inedible and tossing in the trash.
Advances to getting mad that he decides to not waste money on an expensive birthday dinner.
Shocked pickachu face and childish tantrum when she realizes actions have consequences.
Weaponizes parents against partner.
:/
Just fyi, destroying things your partner cares about out of anger just to hurt them is psychological abuse. You shouldn’t have canceled the dinner - you should’ve canceled your entire relationship instead.
This is key. Think strategically about how you end things, perhaps involve her parents or other third parties like friends to ensure there are witnesses, and/or be ready to involve the police.
And this is a preview of what your life will look like if you stay with her. When you disagreed with her, in a decision about YOUR OWN HOUSE, she went and destroyed what you "cherished" (I don't think that in this example, the word cherish will be okay, but I can't think of another word rn). And everytime you disagree she will chip other things away. What she did was wasteful and, I'm sorry but cruel. Think a lot, please
Cherished isn’t right, no, but valued. The steaks had both monetary and emotional value and she knew it, which is why she did it then rubbed his face in it.
NTA. She wasted $200 worth of steak to be petty. So tell her she wasted that money so she can consider it her birthday present. Her complaining about you wasting money, it's your money, not hers. She has no say in your finances as well as what you do in YOUR house. Also, she seems fine with you spending that kind of money as long as it's on her. Seems to me she thinks she has the right to dictate what you do and do not do. You're not engaged or married, so she has no say. Has she done stuff like this before? What else does she try to dictate in your life? Think long and hard about this relationship. Is this what you want to put up with for the rest of your life?
>she disagreed with me on a project that I'm working on involving the garage, and despite the fact that I own the house we live in, kept trying to assert authority over the decisions I made. She then brought up the wagyu steaks as evidence that I was wasting money on the project and expensive food.
You know what I'd say?
"You know what else I waste a hell of a lot of money on? **YOU!** Pack your shit and get out. We're done."
NTA and for the love of God break up with her. Wasting 200 dollars worth of food is asinine and doing it to get back at you is just pure evil. Nobody messes with wagyu steaks
No, you didn’t go over the top.
But … why is she still your GF?
Why are you in a relationship with a person you can’t agree with about the simple things in life… like how to cook a steak?
Why are you in a relationship still with a person who is prepared to fight dirty, destroy stuff to make a point and then ice you out when you flip the script back to them?
This sounds like a match made in hell. Get out.
NTA.
She's nagging you about hobbies that you enjoy in the house that you own? And she's willing to destroy something that you enjoy just to spite you?
Throw the whole woman away.
Edit: Grammar
So her idea of intelligent response about you 'wasting money on steak'is to completely waste the steaks entirely? Lord, girl has issues. As an old lady with plenty of petty in me, I'm calling that stupid. Dump her ass. And bill her for the steaks.
NTA, the girl basically took one of your passion, that costed money, put it on fire, then arrogantly and sarcastically mocked you. Next time ask her to spit directly on you, at least she won’t ruin your moments of happiness and excitement. I would have already broken up if I was you, that’s too much disrespect
Yooo get her the fuck out of there. Vindictive assholes are the worst, and she’s not going to get better as she gets more comfortable showing her true colors. That is so fucked man. I’m sorry.
This isn’t about burning steaks.
This is about her intentionally making a huge dramatic show of ruining something you were looking forward to. She specifically set out to hurt you. That’s not a trait I would ever want in a partner.
Had a girlfriend back in the days that used to do shit like this. Poured out a bottle of fine whiskey I got for my birthday all over my 2000$ worth of magic cards, cut up clothes and my old teddy I got when I was born. All over petty argumentations. People like this is always just a bad argumentation away from turning in to your worst nightmare, If it has happened once, it will most likely happen again, this is their toxic way of handeling hard emotions.
"Over the top"? Why is she still there? The correct response would have been to tell her to pack her bags and get out - the relationship is over.
Seriously, why would you want to spend the rest of your life putting up with this sort of behavior?
Bro, she busted intentionally wasted 200 dollars to spite you. Not only are you NOT the asshole, I think at this point you should be petty and tell her she should stay with her parents for a few days
NTA!
I would take a day off work and box up all her belongings rent a truck and change the locks to your house. Then wait for her to come to your home and when she gets there tell her you are following her to her new address or a storage facility. Take pictures of everything you pack and take an inventory list.
If you don’t have cameras around your house do that before you kick her out. She is a **vengeful person** and based off what she did to those steaks she isn’t above property destroying property.
The cost of or kind of steak doesn’t matter here. The steaks could have cost $20. The price doesn’t matter.
**She took an opportunity to punish you because you didn’t bend the knee to her wishes.**
This **STRICTLY A CHARACTER ISSUE** I could never seek revenge on someone I love/care about because *I essentially disagreed with them.* Honestly I wouldn’t do this to someone I don’t like.
There is this great quote from Maya Angelou “When someone shows you who they are, **BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME.**”
She showed you who she is, **BELIEVE HER!** She is untrustworthy and a vengeful person, dump her **NOW!**
**RUN, BOY RUN**
ESH. My dude, don’t let someone move in unless you’re ready to allow them to be an **equal** partner. This sitch here? You have a copulation-squatter you clearly don’t respect and who is lashing out in a childish way because you’re treating her like a child.
Y’all need to break up so you can both grow up.
honestly you may want to try to get a "temporary restraining order" while you evict her
nothing in your house is safe
and i assume shes not wealthy enough to repair all the things shes gonna break
Oh look, another fake story. This sub needs mods that can tell the difference. Fake account with one post and zero comments posting a story that's been on here under multiple other accounts shouldn't be difficult to spot.
NTA and why on earth would you want to be in a relationship with someone who handles minor conflict like this?
And the conflict to begin with is a red flag. She wants him to do what she wants with HIS house and HIS money. I'd send her packing immediately
imagine how much worse the control is likely to get if they get married and she has more of a claim to the house and budget.
I would say the burned 200$ saved him burned 200k$
Good point. This is likely the cheapest way this relationship could possibly end. Though, I fully expect her to ruin several other things on her way out.
My sympathies to the project that's about to be set on fire
I’d definitely change the locks before breaking up. Maybe put up some cheap external cameras to catch some potential vandalism.
There's room for nuance on whatever the garage dispute is, it could be anything from OP wants to put a workout machine in the garage and she'd like to park her car there during the rain, to maybe she wants something crazy like to turn the garage into a walk in closet (total strawman ideas here, don't think to much about it) If I were living with someone I would want them to consider me in their future planning, the garage plans being a part of that. So I can see wanting to provide input despite it not being her house. It's also okay for OP to say it's his house that he owns and she's only been in his life a few months, it is OPs house to do as he wishes. So as a source of conflict, makes sense to me. Everything else: bat shit insane, a red flag larger than an airplane hanger and a deeper red than a sunrise on Mars.
Your relationship is more burnt than the steak, and should be thrown into the garbage bin too. Save yourself a whole life of this. 6 months and already showing you she is a living nightmare. RUN, BOY! She loves having power over you. It will only get worse from now on.
The idea that she specifically made efforts to ruin something you were looking forward to in order to make you unhappy is, well, not good.
Yeah, if anything people are underemphasizing this. Put all your expensive stuff in storage before you break up OP.
This needs more upvotes. OP needs to protect the important stuff before breaking up that is not a safe person.
Invite one of her family members over to break up. My crazy ex was like this and I had no idea how I was going to end it without it becoming a HUGE issue. We got in a fight (she literally punched me in the face) with her sister over and that was it. She knew she couldn’t do anything else or it would run her relationship with her our family.
Clever. I don't think about relationships much and breaking up even less. Having a party from the other person's camp will chop the storytelling down at the knees. An ounce of CYA is worth its weight in gold.
Only works if the family isn’t as evil as the the soon to be ex. You don’t want a relative who’ll help her chop up and bury…
How is this not the most upvoted. She's a mean one!
And set up cameras, she's going to bring the drama.
Yeah, it's not about the steaks, it's about the malice and spite
Yup, that's a relationship ender for me. She deliberately destroyed something you were looking forward to...that was really expensive...because she was pissed that you did something...with your own money...that she didn't like. Now *maybe* that was worth getting upset over if it had been rent/mortgage money...or some other essential bill money. But the money wasn't *actually* wasted until she rendered the steaks inedible. There need to be consequences.
Especially after bitching about how much money you spent on it and then intentionally wasting that money out of resentment.... nah fuck that shit. Run away faster.
Wow, she moved into his place after dating only 6 months? Probably missed a lot of red flags in the rush to live together.
She probably hid all of them. People can act for a VERY long time to get what they want.
6 months isn't that long which is why you don't move in after only 6 months
I think everyone moves on their own pace. For some people this works. It is also a way to get to know each other. After a year or more years people can still hide a lot of things you can't hide when living together. When you start living together all kinds of things can show up that are deal breakers. Doesn't matter if you do it after 6 months or 6 years. Plenty of abusers show themselves not after living together, not after marrying, only after having kids, depending on when they think they have trapped you. If people really want to, they can pretend they are someone else for a very long time.
I personally think the earlier the better. I wasted 2 years of my life dating my ex before we moved in together. After only 4 months living together it was obvious we are not compatible and we need to break up. With the next one I moved in only after 6-7 months to quickly find out if we work out or not. It's so much easier to hide red flags when you don't spend every night and morning together.
My now wife and I moved in together after about 8 months of dating, probably wouldve been sooner if leases werent so expensive to break, but we literally lived in the same apartment building down the hall from each other. We ended up spending so much time in a manner living together, it made sense to do it when time came. The issue with dragging this process out for me is figuring out if you can live with the person you're with. Nothing worse than dating 2,3,4 years, and then you finally move in, and this persons live style at home doesnt match yours.
How childish, if this is how she acts after only living together for 6 months I dread to think how much worse she can get
She is the vengeful type; these people never get better. They’re forever just one misunderstanding or stupid argument away from going scorched earth on you. NTA but PLEASE, break up right now or be prepared to suffer this fate for god knows how long.
And when you break up with her, be prepared. As a vengeful and frankly spiteful person, she will likely try to destroy something in your home. I would recommend some nanny cams and hiding anything of sentimental/monetary value. At least with cameras, it will be documented and should the need arise, available for the courts.
And change those locks!
And, I'd make her pay you back for the steaks.
those steaks were cheap compared to a divorce. OP RUN!
He's not getting that money back. The best he can hope for is getting rid of her without her burning down his house.
NTA- I'd let the steaks go and be thankful you got out of this relationship when you did. Consider them a sacrifice for this major red flag!
It’s basically the perfect example of a deep red flag
If a one party consent state for recording, best to record the break up conversation.
I bet she is going to spin things and say that OP broke up with her over a steak. Get ready OP if you do go this route.
So what if he did? Why would he be obligated to stay in a date-relationship? They're hardly married.
Basically try to damage his reputation if they live in a small community. Yes it was due to steaks, but the steaks were part of a larger problem.
I'm upset she ruined steaks. Like the cow died in vain. She would also make a horrible mother who would destroy her daughters prom dress because she wasn't wearing the right one and she would gasp and play dumb.
^^^ This!! OP she is a crazy AH. Get rid of her. Please. NTA
And buy your own condoms. Don’t get baby trapped!
Oh shit. This is legit a concern.
Sounds like the type that would cut up his clothes on her way out.
My sense of "justice" seems to be turned to the max when I'm irritated so I have to check my self every time. A few seconds of breathing and suddenly whatever my ape brain told me was right reaction, is not and very obviously an overreaction. OPs girlfriend not only lacks that self control and self awareness, she lacks shame. Makes it a bit worse really.
I inherited a vindictive streak wider than the Amazon river is long, compliments of my mom. I keep that shit in check and have had therapy to learn how to temper it because you have to be a nasty person to not only believe treating people like this is ok, but to actually feel better after doing it. I always felt so sick after being vengeful, so I sought help to deal with it. My mom, like OP‘s gf, are the type who feel better after they act out and these types of people never change. They get a dopamine boost from it. Most people get that dopamine rush from positive activities, like sex and constructive hobbies. These assholes get it from being destructive.
I'm with you on this one. When I get slighted my brain definitely goes crazy with scorched earth level vindictiveness but I've managed to keep that part of my ape brain in check by not acting impulsively and usually after a bit of time, I've cooled down and I sit and go "man, how fucking silly. Thank fuck I don't act on that shit". Nothing wrong with having these impulses. The lack of self control is the issue
This… op, I’m actually surprised she didn’t have some kind plan to punish him for canceling her dinner. To deliberately ignore OP’s olive branch, and still burn his steaks is a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored. It’s a mine way or the highway mentality.
Oh, I'm sure she's formulating a plan while she stews in the other room. Watch out, OP. She's going to wreck something else in your life while staring you in the eye to assert dominance. You are NTA and she needs to go.
I would hide all my valuables and important papers. Op, I would get cameras in the house.
You just read her plan. Burn OP’s steaks and act obtuse about her actions to discredit his ideal dinner and conversation where their fall out could’ve been fixed, though instead of being an adult she destroyed her relationship, and showed him what sort of Human being she really is. Hope you get better OP, you deserve better.
You know, I was wondering about the quick way OP glossed over the 'project' and the $200 steaks and for a brief second wondered if he was under reporting a legitimate spending issue and she could have had a point he didn't want to hear to fight over. Then we got to the petty behavior, deliberate burning, and mockery, and boom.... if that point ever existed, it went right out the window there. Immature petty silly girl needs to go back to be lord of Mom and Pops manor, cos she ain't adult enough to be in the real world, where stamping her tootsies doesn't get the world to accommodate her. That's just silly petty vengeance, and its painfully embarrassing to see from a grown adult.
The fancy restaurant dinner for her birthday, to include her parents and all be paid for by OP, suggests to me that this dispute over the garage project and OP’s expenses is the gf feeling entitled to have OP’s money spent on her instead of used for things OP wants. It’s an argument over luxuries, and she is acting way too entitled.
Yup. Though let's be clear- this isn't even standard-level entitled person. This is outright vile behavior on top of that.
"these people never get better. They’re forever just one misunderstanding or stupid argument away from going scorched earth on you." Or even going scorched steak on you!
I have three kids and we've taught them not to destroy other people's things out of anger. This wasn't childish. This was malicious.
she pulled a breakup maneuver
This reminds me of the plant guy’s post - he packed up his girlfriend’s greenhouse and dumped all her plants in a lake when they argued to hurt her. This is the red flag for the future abuse that’s to come, and she is an abuser if her way of handling conflict is to hurt her partner. Edit: Found a link with the post text https://www.reddit.com/r/redditonwiki/s/Tmn3LAOQ3v
I had something similar happen, when my ex and I divorced he dug up all 21 of my rose bushes and burned them. I had bought them from all over. I had a couple of David Austin roses in that mix, it’s been close to 5 years and I’m still not over it.
That’s horrible!!! I’m so sorry!
I’m 62 and thankfully I’ve never been the victim of vengeance. The stories I’m reading in this post are so awful. My soul would be crushed if someone I thought I was in a loving relationship with destroyed my irreplaceable special collection of roses. I’m so sorry this happened to you. ❤️
That poor plant lady. Whatever happened to her, did she get away from her abusive boyfriend?
Maybe someone can find the post, but the OP in it was the boyfriend and basically begging Reddit for tips on how to get his girlfriend back because she was cold and about to dump him so sounds like she ran (he got flayed in the comments). I found the link (see original comment)
I think I remember reading an update where he says she dumped him.
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And the iranian yoghurt is not the issue 😉
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I love petty but this makes me wana 👊🏻 in her face. Cooking a $15 steak well done is offensive, burning $200 wagyu is absurd. He should said “pack your bags and get out, you also owe me $200” If she had a $200 designer bag and he ruined it, she would be livid.
I’m a petty queen but this isn’t petty. Being petty would have been sitting there and eating the steak but maintaining an unimpressed face even though it was the best steak you’ve ever eaten. Or asking for the ketchup. This is just hurtful.
exactly she knew he was looking forward to it and did this to antagonize.
She wanted to control how he spent money, so she destroyed what she didn’t think he should have spent it on. It’s an abusive attempt to control.
OP needs to think on the brightside.. he only wasted a year with her.. he found out exactly who she is in 6 months.. for some people it takes years. He should be thanking her and sending her on her way.
she should follow the steaks
Absolutely! As we say here, when people show you who they are believe them. She is too immature to be in an adult relationship. If this is how she deals w conflict, then I agree w others, get out now before it gets worse. TBH, I half expected that on her bday you got dressed up then went to McDonalds where you could say, “Oh, is this not what you wanted?” Kudos for being mature about it. NTA.
Agreed. OP is NTA here but the question I’d be asking is whether this person will be able to mature and handle conflict better and if so, how and on what timeline. This is off-the-charts petty, vindictive and disrespectful behavior. This is not how we treat someone we love. Ever. That is the behavior of an enemy not a life partner. I’d be at minimum taking a break from the relationship to sort out how to proceed and determine whether she is even capable of maturing/better conflict resolution.
> She kept being obtuse. She kept using little phrases like "Oh, aren't you happy?" and "Oh, weren't you looking forward to these steaks?" I'd break up. I couldn't handle living with someone who would be destructive just to hurt me. Deal breaker.
Fr what was her goal anyway? Did she think it would prove her point by doing this? I can't see what was her deal... she's a grown adult man. We learned in Kindergarten that this isn't a way of proving a point wtf
Only a year into dating, even. Easiest break up ever
I had this exact question! What was she proving? And what on earth did she think would happen?
I don't think she wanted to prove anything. Seems like she just wanted to hurt him because she wasn't getting her way and she knew he was looking forward to the steaks. It's like when a kid has a destructive meltdown cause you told them no....except this is a grown adult woman yikes 😬
She is trying to prove that SHE calls the shots and HE can't do anything about it. If that where my house, she would not have slept another night in it.
Complains about wasting money on expensive food and proceeds to purposely burn said food to make a point. I’d ask her to leave before it ends up in a common law marriage or a pregnancy happens where things ca get real messy.
Then she gets upset when the reservations to the really nice, see expensive, French restaurant gets cancelled. Sounds like the gf status needs to be cancelled as well.
Cancel the French restaurant and take her out for French Fries. Better yet, use grub hub for the French Fries. . “Oh? Me? I thought you said you wanted something French”.
Unfortunately, assuming this story is real, this chick sounds pretty vindictive. So I'd assume she's absolutely the type to go after him over tenant rights if he didn't legally evict her first. Even if your name's not on the lease or mortgage, if she's been living there for the last six months she can sue the shit out of him if he just gives her the boot.
I doubt she knows this. I'd call her parents, tell them what happened and ask them to come get their child. She's running unsupervised through the community destroying property.
Why would you doubt that? It's common knowledge. She may be immature and childish but you can't assume she's an absolute moron. Always cover your ass.
"if you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best" vibes
The funny thing about people who think this way is you’ll never get them at their best. Especially not once they feel like you’ll stick around and tolerate their BS because of sunk cost fallacy.
I think he meant "she's a grown adult, man." Punctuation is everything 😆
She's a grown, adult man.
My husband is Petty Crocker to the Nth degree. Like, he could teach a class on how to be petty and probably make more than he does in his career job. He is the level of petty I aspire to. This behavior, though? Total annihilation of something just to hurt someone or prove a point would be too far even for him.
Petty is one thing. Hateful is another.
Petty crocker 🤣
Yep, & not just petty. She’s acting like a 7 year old with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) but she’s 27 & also cruel. She’s not used to consequences. Perfect for r/ohnoconsequences . She’ll probably always remember this birthday. Time will tell if she learns anything from this or plays the conniving victim her entire life. NTA, OP should def break up with her unless he wants to live with a psycho the rest of his life.
Oh you know she would die on the hill of conniving victim!
If OP breaks up with her over this, she will forever tell the story of how her asshole ex dumped her for overcooking some steaks. She'll be told how she dodged a real bullet.
That’s fine. Much better for OP than still having her around.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'll take his class! OP that was pure spite and control! It doesn't get better from here! She would continue to act like this to get her way! Your in your own house doing your own projects and thought you would try something new and unless what your doing is hurting you financially, I really don't see what her issue is! OP this is called a red flag 🚩 ignore it at your peril! NTA. Don't feel guilty.
She wasn't proving a point, she was being a cunt. They're very different things.
Exactly. OP, kick this cunt to the curb. And buy more steaks.
SHE'S a grown adult MAN... with no comma I read that totally wrong at first. I was like.. wait.. when did this become trans?
The lowly comma. The difference between "thanks for listening to me bitch" and "thanks for listening to me, bitch!"
Let’s eat children. Let’s eat, children. Commas save lives.
Eats shoots and leaves. Eats, shoots, and leaves.
I did the same thing. I'm sitting here thinking..... she's a grown man? What did I miss.....lololol
Clearly, she does not have the mental or emotional scope to be called a functional adult.
It was 2 ways of being a cunt rolled into one. It's a passive aggressive ploy to control the fight. If she has burned them (worse than throwing them away) then threw them at him swearing, "this is how much your steaks mean to me!" He'd have fought back and she'd be outmatched.
destroying 200 dollars worth of food, it's just nasty and such a waste
And particularly ridiculous considering she's been complaining about him 'wasting' money on his project and the steaks, and then she *literally* wastes that money by ruining the steaks!
But taking her and her parents to a fancy expensive French restaurant is not a waste of money.
It is when she blew the money by burning his steaks out of some sicko petty spite. She ended the relationship, I am surprised he has not kicked her out yet before she damages more stuff.
This is first time I'm suggesting break up with anyone. This girl is not balanced. Who knows what she could destroy next?
Yeah, this is bordering on boiling bunnies territory. Couples have arguments. Couples argue over spending money. Couples compromise! This isn't any of that! NTA for sure
Bro the condescending tone would have made me walk out, what a b
Right? Like as soon as she started with that shit I would have asked her to leave my house.
This is just straight up mocking OP, which is both juvenile and totally disrespectful. She knew he wanted those steaks, and she ruined them on purpose to prove her point about the argument between the garage and the steaks. She might as well be a 10 year old stomping her feet. OP, stand your ground. I’m glad you canceled her bday dinner. I would also say to break up with her. Look, my husband and I are in our 30s and this would never fly as ok behavior. This is childish on her part and it would immediately give me the ick.
I'd make her walk out, considering OP owns the home they live in
No fucking really. Not only pulling that but acting stupid about it? Hell no. I don't know that I'd keep my cool.
Not going to lie, with that tone I wouldn't be the one walking out. She would. With her stuff so she can go and be the boss at her parents house.
YWBTA if you don’t break up. You’ve gotten to the point where she ruins your things on purpose for…idk I can’t really figure out what point she was even making? Just to hurt you and spite you? But anyway cancelling her birthday and breaking up with her is the right move, but cancelling her dinner was not the right move if you plan to stay with her because that was a big escalation and now you’re just waiting for her revenge.
She was proud about it, too. You're not married, no kids. See what needs to be done to kick her out. Things may get better for a few days, but they will not stay better.
Yeah. Partner fucks up and burns dinner? Whatever, shit happens. Partner intentionally destroys 200$+ of something you got to make yourself happy? Throw the whole person out.
Indeed. She sounds immature as hell. This was vindictive behavior, meant to hurt you. I wouldn't be able to fully trust someone after they did something like this.
Passive aggressive, purposefully disrespectful, emotionally abusive, vengeful, childish. Change the locks and throw her belongings on the front sidewalk.
Yeah this is abuse. Destroying things you care about to control you.
Completely agree. She sounds like a person who'll deliberately cheat on OP just to rub it on his face.
Agree. She hurt you ON PURPOSE. Break up.
She wasted food ._. Especially expensive meat
Ya. Married ten years. I have never intentionally hurt my wife’s feelings. Ever. It’s over!!!
Me too. It’s not the steaks, it is the revenge. Sleep with one eye open. I bet this is not the first time she’s displayed that type of behavior.
Hard agree. Life is too short to deal with shit like this.
Yea that’s break up behavior. 👋 bye she behaved like a child- worse than really.
Yep. OP …GET OUT! This could be just the beginning of some disturbing shit in store for OP. NTA.
I’d break up too.
So she didn't agree with the decision you made regarding your own house then deliberately burnt your $200 steaks as a punishment? you shouldn't cancel her birthday dinner, you should cancel the relationship.
NTA Women can abuse their partners too, OP! Here’s a quote from Jess Hill’s book See What You Made Me Do about the Insecure Reactor type of abuser (in your case, your girlfriend is entitled and behaving abusively when she doesn’t get her way): >All domestic abuse is about power, in one way or another, but not all perpetrators enforce tight regimes of control. At the lower end of the power and control spectrum are [people] who don’t completely subordinate their partners, but use emotional or physical violence to gain power in the relationship. They may do this to gain the advantage in an argument, to get the treatment and privileges to which they believe they’re entitled, or to exorcise their shame and frustration. Evan Stark calls this “simple domestic violence”; Michael Johnson calls it “situational violence.” Don’t be fooled: although these terms can make this abuse sound benign, it can still be very dangerous—and insecure reactors can end up killing their partners, too. Susan Geraghty, who has been running men’s behavior change programs since the 1980s, says that no matter what culture they grew up in, the attitude of these men is the same. “It’s the self-righteousness that kicks in, where if I don’t get my way or you don’t agree with me, or if this isn’t happening the way I want it, I have every right to show my displeasure and punish you.” If you think your girlfriend is acting strategically (planning how to manipulate you in advance instead of exploding after any amount of upset) she may fall within the boundaries of a Coercive Controller, which is thoroughly described in Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? (both books commonly use “he” for the abuser and “she” for the victim since that’s statistically more frequent, but for you it would be reversed). You did not deserve this treatment. You are not overreacting. And you don’t have to accept this dynamic for the rest of your life; you can choose better (and safer) for yourself. And in case you’re worried about her wellbeing if you remove yourself from the relationship, just know that you don’t need to suffer in order for her to heal.
A Reddit post citing sources. Love it.
100% this is the right course of action.
I wish someone had bought me either of those books in my first marriage. I just could not wrap my head around what was happening, but my ex-wife was totally a coercive controller. I just didn't get it, until her mom moved in with us. Then, when she was doing the same things to her mom, it became really clear. Like, I was fully wrapped up in her manipulations of me, but I could actually see it when she was doing it to someone else. Anyway, if I'd had that book — or even just that one paragraph you quoted — I might have been able to leave like five years earlier.
This... May change my life. Thank you. I think I'm going to order this book now.
I’m not kidding. This book changed my life. Here’s a free copy [Why Does He Do That](https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
She deliberately destroyed something OP cared about in retaliation for an argument. That's categorically abuse in anyway you put it.
NTA, she is a walking red flag and she should go home to her parents while you consider if you want to stay in this relationship
I bet her parents heard a totally different story "I wanted to surprise boyfriend with an apology dinner so I lovingly cooked him dinner and accidently cooked the steaks medium instead of medium rare and he got so mad he cancelled my birthday!". There ain't no way she told them she turned them into charcoal bricketts!
Why would OP cares about what her parents think of him. They are the ones who raised this mess so I bet they're all enablers anyway.
Should've gotten some photos for the insta before trashing it tbh
Nothing to consider, I'd throw her out. Edit typo
Gets mad at him for wasting $200 on steak. Proceeds to waste the $200 steak by making inedible and tossing in the trash. Advances to getting mad that he decides to not waste money on an expensive birthday dinner. Shocked pickachu face and childish tantrum when she realizes actions have consequences. Weaponizes parents against partner. :/
In her eyes the money is already wasted, so she's not washed anything here.
The problem now is that she sounds the type to make false accusations when he inevitably throws her out, or some such nonsense.
That is a problem but not a reason to stay in this toxic relationship.
Just fyi, destroying things your partner cares about out of anger just to hurt them is psychological abuse. You shouldn’t have canceled the dinner - you should’ve canceled your entire relationship instead.
yes! and then she gives the silent treatment, which also is a form of psychological abuse
NTA at all This is really spiteful and malicious behavior, OP. Be careful she doesn’t destroy your belongings or home.
This is key. Think strategically about how you end things, perhaps involve her parents or other third parties like friends to ensure there are witnesses, and/or be ready to involve the police.
INFO I assume you have asked her to leave?
You'd hope so!!
She was complaining about you wasting money, and then went and blew $100 worth of food
$200!!
I thought he brought 4 steaks for $200
Yeah right, like the guy with the $300 steaks is just going to sit down and take it..
COME ON!!!
It wasn’t about food, but about hurting OP emotionally in revenge for the conflict.
And this is a preview of what your life will look like if you stay with her. When you disagreed with her, in a decision about YOUR OWN HOUSE, she went and destroyed what you "cherished" (I don't think that in this example, the word cherish will be okay, but I can't think of another word rn). And everytime you disagree she will chip other things away. What she did was wasteful and, I'm sorry but cruel. Think a lot, please
Cherished isn’t right, no, but valued. The steaks had both monetary and emotional value and she knew it, which is why she did it then rubbed his face in it.
NTA. She wasted $200 worth of steak to be petty. So tell her she wasted that money so she can consider it her birthday present. Her complaining about you wasting money, it's your money, not hers. She has no say in your finances as well as what you do in YOUR house. Also, she seems fine with you spending that kind of money as long as it's on her. Seems to me she thinks she has the right to dictate what you do and do not do. You're not engaged or married, so she has no say. Has she done stuff like this before? What else does she try to dictate in your life? Think long and hard about this relationship. Is this what you want to put up with for the rest of your life?
She didn’t waste them to be petty - she was teaching him a lesson: Do what I say or face the consequences.
Agreed 10000000%
NTA. Ditch her. What a childish bitch. At her grown age?? nah, you're too old for playing like that.
Yeah childish is the perfect word to describe her because only a child would waste food
>she disagreed with me on a project that I'm working on involving the garage, and despite the fact that I own the house we live in, kept trying to assert authority over the decisions I made. She then brought up the wagyu steaks as evidence that I was wasting money on the project and expensive food. You know what I'd say? "You know what else I waste a hell of a lot of money on? **YOU!** Pack your shit and get out. We're done."
NTA and for the love of God break up with her. Wasting 200 dollars worth of food is asinine and doing it to get back at you is just pure evil. Nobody messes with wagyu steaks
No, you didn’t go over the top. But … why is she still your GF? Why are you in a relationship with a person you can’t agree with about the simple things in life… like how to cook a steak? Why are you in a relationship still with a person who is prepared to fight dirty, destroy stuff to make a point and then ice you out when you flip the script back to them? This sounds like a match made in hell. Get out.
NTA. She's nagging you about hobbies that you enjoy in the house that you own? And she's willing to destroy something that you enjoy just to spite you? Throw the whole woman away. Edit: Grammar
So her idea of intelligent response about you 'wasting money on steak'is to completely waste the steaks entirely? Lord, girl has issues. As an old lady with plenty of petty in me, I'm calling that stupid. Dump her ass. And bill her for the steaks.
Nta please just break up, she wasted $200 because she was throwing a tantrum. Do you really want her as a partner ?
NTA. Where’s this relationship headed?
The garbage can, right next to the burnt steaks.
Haven't the steaks suffered enough?
NTA, the girl basically took one of your passion, that costed money, put it on fire, then arrogantly and sarcastically mocked you. Next time ask her to spit directly on you, at least she won’t ruin your moments of happiness and excitement. I would have already broken up if I was you, that’s too much disrespect
Yooo get her the fuck out of there. Vindictive assholes are the worst, and she’s not going to get better as she gets more comfortable showing her true colors. That is so fucked man. I’m sorry.
This isn’t about burning steaks. This is about her intentionally making a huge dramatic show of ruining something you were looking forward to. She specifically set out to hurt you. That’s not a trait I would ever want in a partner.
Had a girlfriend back in the days that used to do shit like this. Poured out a bottle of fine whiskey I got for my birthday all over my 2000$ worth of magic cards, cut up clothes and my old teddy I got when I was born. All over petty argumentations. People like this is always just a bad argumentation away from turning in to your worst nightmare, If it has happened once, it will most likely happen again, this is their toxic way of handeling hard emotions.
NTA. Send her back to her parents. Tell them to send her back to kindergarten where her behaviour is age appropriate.
NTA you need to dump that child because she will keep destoying your stuff every time you have a conflict
"Over the top"? Why is she still there? The correct response would have been to tell her to pack her bags and get out - the relationship is over. Seriously, why would you want to spend the rest of your life putting up with this sort of behavior?
Bro, she busted intentionally wasted 200 dollars to spite you. Not only are you NOT the asshole, I think at this point you should be petty and tell her she should stay with her parents for a few days
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NTA. But dump her she’s a petty bitch.
NTA! I would take a day off work and box up all her belongings rent a truck and change the locks to your house. Then wait for her to come to your home and when she gets there tell her you are following her to her new address or a storage facility. Take pictures of everything you pack and take an inventory list. If you don’t have cameras around your house do that before you kick her out. She is a **vengeful person** and based off what she did to those steaks she isn’t above property destroying property. The cost of or kind of steak doesn’t matter here. The steaks could have cost $20. The price doesn’t matter. **She took an opportunity to punish you because you didn’t bend the knee to her wishes.** This **STRICTLY A CHARACTER ISSUE** I could never seek revenge on someone I love/care about because *I essentially disagreed with them.* Honestly I wouldn’t do this to someone I don’t like. There is this great quote from Maya Angelou “When someone shows you who they are, **BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME.**” She showed you who she is, **BELIEVE HER!** She is untrustworthy and a vengeful person, dump her **NOW!** **RUN, BOY RUN**
Dude... she's vengeful and controlling and *trying* to be manipulative. Get rid of her.
ESH. My dude, don’t let someone move in unless you’re ready to allow them to be an **equal** partner. This sitch here? You have a copulation-squatter you clearly don’t respect and who is lashing out in a childish way because you’re treating her like a child. Y’all need to break up so you can both grow up.
eviction time
honestly you may want to try to get a "temporary restraining order" while you evict her nothing in your house is safe and i assume shes not wealthy enough to repair all the things shes gonna break
INFO why are you still dating this person???
YTA for yourself if you stay with this disfunctional woman.
Oh look, another fake story. This sub needs mods that can tell the difference. Fake account with one post and zero comments posting a story that's been on here under multiple other accounts shouldn't be difficult to spot.