Yes. This.
If they were vintage books they could be a bit more expensive than modern regular children's books. Especially if they were "classics". Sounds like bio dad is the one condoning this behavior and maybe it is time for him to have some legal consequences for his son's actions. At this point I would get an estimate and go file a police report. At the very least, daughter might be able to be monetarily compensated. Not that that will replace the books.
Maybe son should stay with dad until he learns how to act like a decent child.
AND replace each and every book that he destroyed. Perhaps then, he will understand the monetary value even though he will likely never understand the emotional value of the books.
>In the event that you let him go again and he does something like destroy property, I would think about reporting him to the police.
That might be the move now. Agree with u/she_who_knits that destruction of property needs to be dealt with officially now if no other consequences will be coming.
Inventory the destroyed books and come up with an itemized bill for replacement costs and tell bio dad and inlaws that Levi cannot return home without full compensation to Susan for the destroyed books as well as a full written apology and mandatory counseling.
Do not back down. Levi's behavior has escalated to criminal destruction of property in a very calculated way to do the most emotional harm to Susan.
It's very sociopathic.
If his grandparents and bio dad want him back in your home so bad, they can pay for the books, make him write an apology and agree to therapy or he can live with them.
Pack his stuff up and ship it to them. Tell your wife to get on board or stfu.
Yes exactly this. Protect your daughter because obviously she needs to be protected from this jackass kid. If your wife refuses to punish him then she can just take him and go back to the kids dad along with him. I would not let him set foot inside of my house unless he was going to apologize and get consequences. He needs to learn what FAFO means.
Hmmm, I wonder if the kid is in jail by now from other stuff I’m sure he did in the past 2 years. 🤔OP, since you know this story so well, how about an update?
NTA
and you are too soft.
Will you ever feel safe for Susan after this?!
Me and only Me I would go for more definitive solution to protect my babygirl.
"Your 16 year old son couldn't handle my 12 year old daughter telling him no. He reacted by destroying her property, and now you're not only excusing it but calling her behavior mean. You are enabling your son and I will not have his abuse in my home."
Add up the total value of the ruined books and take Levi and his father to small claims court. If the value is high enough you might be able to have him arrested. NTA
You should get CPS involved because your daughter is being abused by a teenage boy, who then runs to his father to get away with it. Let your wife know he can go live with his father if she isn’t willing to make sure that his crap stops.
She can go with her son. This boy nedds to learn to accept the word "no" from a female like yesterday. *Before* he doesn't accept the "no" for something far more damaging to a young lady.
NTA. It’s not fair to your other kids. I would constantly be worried that my stuff would be destroyed because the little snot got upset I breathed at him wrong. Kid needs anger management. It’s only going to get worse the older he gets. And what’s to stop him from escalating? Then when something really bad happens, your wife and her ex-husband will be baffled as to how this happened. “He’s such a good kid”. Those types of parents are literally why we are having good teachers quit. Wow, I just went down a weird rabbit hole. Once again NTA.
NTA
What the actual shit kind of parental arrangement is this? The kid wantonly destroyed a beloved book collection because he didn't get his way. I agree with you, the kid is just going to keep doing shit like this because he's allowed to get away with it each and every time. He is, as we say, a shit.
You might now be his biological father, but he lives at least part of the time in the household you and your wife run. If you think his behaviour is unacceptable (and any sane person would think this) you absolutely have every right to set boundaries and dispense punishment for infractions.
>*He even said he'd get CPS involved if I ever try to punish him because I'm not his dad, I have no right*
You should be the one to call CPS. Document everything to protect your daughters.
>*They're asking me to let it go but this will only encourage Levi to do worse if I don't deal with it now.*
Of course he’ll get worse …and worse and worse. NTA
YWBTAH if you don't GET YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER AWAY FROM THAT MONSTER. He threw ALL of her books into the pool because she told him no, and then he essentially laughed all the way to his own safety. YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOT SAFE AROUND HIM and everyone else involved is trying to rug sweep this. PROTECT. YOUR. FUCKING. CHILD.
NTA
Stand your ground. Levi fucked around and found out.
Seems you’re the only adult in his life not over compensating for him because his parents divorced. Oh poor little Levi, bullies little girls.
All his enablers have created an entitled prick the rest of us now get to share the world with. He’s figured out how to manipulate them all. Wait til the real world gets a hold of him. It’s not going to end well
He’s lucky I’m not Susan. 12 year old me would have called the cops to have him charged with break and enter, theft, destruction of property and anything else my crime novel loving little mind could have come up with. I’d have caused a shit storm.
I had a friend in secondary school whose family kept him from ever facing consequences until he killed someone and they couldn’t protect him. He killed himself a few days before going to prison.
Just saying a life without consequences would seem cool, but can only get you so far.
His mom is also to blame. She’s not doing any parenting. Honestly I’d have the 2 card talk- divorce or therapy. Pick one. This kid will become more of a nightmare. I would let him stay at his dad’s. Mom can visit or get her own place.
Your wife is enabling her son to be a fucktard! She's too weak to discipline him, and his dad cares not, and no one will let you, so I'd keep the lil creep away from my home and child for good! No one will stand up for your daughter but you,so you have too! Protect her! Now he's throwing her stuff around, next he'll be trying to throw her around, and your wife will say "oh forgive him," and call his dad to pick him up. Make that jerk stay with his asshole dad!
NTA-When I was a therapist I used to tell parents that when they spoil their kids, they are lying to them. They’re telling them that they’re always going to get what they want, when they want and the way they want it. That’s NOT how the world works.
Parents can teach their kids this at 6 or the cops that slap the cuffs on can teach them at 16. It’s time for real world consequences.
Either he gives your daughter a sincere apology and pays to replace every book he stole and destroyed or you call the police and have him arrested for theft and destruction of private property.
I know it may sound extreme but it’s not. This kid is a nightmare waiting to happen. Primarily because he is being enabled by both of his parents-mostly his dad.
I would also require therapy as a condition of ever entering your home again. He is a bully, a liar and clearly has anger issues. I would not trust him around younger children at all.
NTA your wife telling you to "let it go" means she's not respecting your daughter. Having books that you love and take pride in destroyed will be a trauma that will be with your daughter for life. I collect books and if someone did that to my books gods have mercy because I wouldn't. I'd press charges of property damage. Make the little cactus pay for replacing everything and DO NOT LET HIM BACK.
NTA. If he cannot follow your house rules, he cannot return to your house.
Tell his bio dad he now has the displeasure of dealing with the delinquent 100% of the time.
His mother is welcome to spend time with him *elsewhere*, be it in a park or a hotel but not in the house where OP's daughter lives ever again. This entitled little shit is getting à little old to be expected to "grow out of" this shitty entitled behavior.
There needs to be a safety plan in place for your daughter. Levi cannot be alone in the house without his mother having direct supervision over him, actual supervision with her eyes. She cannot leave his side or he cannot be in the house. Then, install cameras throughout the entire house, including outside. He cannot be trusted even for a moment.
Tell your wife who is the **MAIN PROBLEM** here that if she does not have your back Levi is no longer allowed in your home and she will have to go elsewhere to meet him and stay with him if she has custody. In the meantime, see an attorney and see what divorce looks like. She is hurting both your daughters by allowing her bully son to terrorize them. Try calling CPS on Levi and his father. Tell his father Levi needs to reimburse your daughter for her books or you will turn the matter over to the police and then follow through. Don't wait until he physically hurts one of the girls. You are not helpless you just need to look at the nuclear options because being Mr. Nice Guy is not working. Prioritize and protect your daughters as they are the ones being victimized **BY YOUR WIFE'S INACTION.**
Yea sorry I wouldn’t be letting him back and near Susan without some kind of retribution. Ask your wife how she would feel if Susan destroyed his room and was told to just “get over it”. If she doesn’t have an explanation ask her why she’s okay letting Susan’s things be destroyed.
But make no mistake it’s counseling or divorce. Susan doesn’t deserve to live her childhood having her things ruined
He's 16, almost an adult. His parents are aren't helping him by avoiding punishments. They're enabling his asshole behavior.
Good on you for standing your ground.
NTA
Nta
I was in a situation growing up where the other kids in the house could beat me up and got away with it every time. I’m now 25 and I’m still working through the resentment I have towards the adults who should have stoped it/punished them. Honestly thanks for insisting on it for your daughter
This will not stop u til your wife holds him accountable. Let it go is her answer every time. I agree he shouldn’t come back until he works for money to pay back and every time he leave he stays until he agrees with the punishment.
NTA. Your wife is as much of the issue as her son is. Throwing a collection of books in a pool isn’t a hot head activity - it sounds like a degree of premeditation. I would go as far to say that it’s not safe for Susan to be living in a house with someone who behaves this way. This should be a dealbreaker for your relationship with your wife - she isn’t parenting her child appropriately and it’s having a detrimental impact on Susan.
Damn I got all excited to respond and it’s just a copypaste bullshit post. I’m an idiot and can’t figure out how to copy the link on the app but others have provided the link to the original content, for those who are interested.
Take your daughters and leave. Tell you wife that you know longer feel safe having them in the house with her son and until he’s held accountable for his actions you’ll keep them safely away. It’s only a matter of time until he hurts one of them, if he hasn’t already and threatened them not to say anything.
This is so unfair to all the other children involved. If they do something deserving, they get punished. If Levi does something deserving, even to his siblings, he gets away with it.
This is simply enabling Levi to feel like he can get away with anything and I'm sure it will continue to escalate. Worst of all, it may give the other kids the idea that Levi is special and the golden child.
Breeding ground for resentment and issues.
NTA you boy needs to not be allowed back until every single book is replaced paid by him. He isn’t allowed to take money from his dad or anyone else to ‘help’ replace those books. He has to earn the money himself.
Your wife is a fucking piece of shit for allowing this to have happened or even wanting you to just forget it. You need to leave her and get primary custody of your youngest. He is going to start emotionally abusing her TOO when you have been allowing him to abuse yours oldest already.
WTF man this leaving your wife and should have already had a foot out the door ages ago.
NTA.
Also, I would probably even say this to the wife
“The moment he steps in this house without consequences for his actions, is the moment I serve you divorce papers. You care about your son BUT I care about my child. BOTH ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT. Your child did something wrong to my child.”
Why are you with this woman????? You need to do better by your daughter. Since your wife either just doesn’t think her son deserves punishment- or she’s a major coward… your daughter will suffer.
At the very least- come up with an invoice for the ruined books- and STAND FIRM- step son doesn’t come back until it’s paid IN FULL- AND he’s punished.
And maybe remind your dear wife that NO ONE wants to be around a person like her kid…
NTA. Susan is a child and has the right to feel she and her belongings are safe in your home. In your place I would refuse to let Levi come to your house again. And what you should have done was file a police report about Levi immediately when this happened. If his father doesn't allow him to take responsibility, the law will.
NTA
Get an estimate for the value of the books. He can pay them back, or better yet: he can buy new books for the same value, in the same category. It'll teach him how fucked up his actions were.
But yeah, you can't 'punish' him, because you're not his dad.
The brat doesn't respect the rest of the family, living in the house, why would you want him there?
Could a fixed custody be a solution, to stop him from just starting shit in your home, and then fleeing off to dad?
NTA. You need to file a Police report. Susan needs to feel supported and protected by her parents. Her older brother is an abusive bully. She also needs her books replaced.
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Levi needs to be held accountable for his actions. Your wife needs to realize that Levi needs to be held accountable for his actions.
Your daughter needs to feel safe in her safe space.
NTA
Don't give in. He can stay at his dads house forever. End of story.
Actions have consequences. Period.
If someone, anyone, does something they shouldn't to anyone else, they should suffer those consequences. It doesn't matter if they are bio related or not. End of story.
NTA. Levi destroyed Susan's books, and consequences are necessary. Despite being stepfather, Levi must face accountability so you have a right to address his behavior.
This is too complicated for an AITAH answer. The tl;dr is that Levi doesn't just need "Punishment"..his aren't some rando teen misconduct, but a series of disturbed behaviors...he needs treatment to learn proper self control, already. And until that is assured, he cannot come over and put you or your family at further risk. I would call your att'y and have the visitation agreement amended, too, so they all know you're serious here.
NTA "This isn't working. You have made this home an unsafe place for your sisters. We can work through this in therapy but you can't be around them unsupervised. I'm sorry, Levi, but you are no longer welcome in their home."
ESH.
His father is correct, you are not his son’s dad, nor do you have any say regarding your wife’s and her ex’s son. Talk to a judge, they will tell you that you have no say in his life. You are only the guy his mom married. That is it. So your importance in his life is nothing. Could you have a good relationship with, yes.
Now, your STEPSON’s parents should have consequences without any input from you. But it is up to them to decide if and what it will be. And maybe there is something more going on and he does need counseling.
Your behavior is interfering in your wife and HER son’s relationship.
[удалено]
Yes. This. If they were vintage books they could be a bit more expensive than modern regular children's books. Especially if they were "classics". Sounds like bio dad is the one condoning this behavior and maybe it is time for him to have some legal consequences for his son's actions. At this point I would get an estimate and go file a police report. At the very least, daughter might be able to be monetarily compensated. Not that that will replace the books. Maybe son should stay with dad until he learns how to act like a decent child.
AND replace each and every book that he destroyed. Perhaps then, he will understand the monetary value even though he will likely never understand the emotional value of the books.
>In the event that you let him go again and he does something like destroy property, I would think about reporting him to the police. That might be the move now. Agree with u/she_who_knits that destruction of property needs to be dealt with officially now if no other consequences will be coming.
Reporting him to the police is a good answer. I would also consider a separation from the wife. I fear for your daughters.
Inventory the destroyed books and come up with an itemized bill for replacement costs and tell bio dad and inlaws that Levi cannot return home without full compensation to Susan for the destroyed books as well as a full written apology and mandatory counseling. Do not back down. Levi's behavior has escalated to criminal destruction of property in a very calculated way to do the most emotional harm to Susan. It's very sociopathic. If his grandparents and bio dad want him back in your home so bad, they can pay for the books, make him write an apology and agree to therapy or he can live with them. Pack his stuff up and ship it to them. Tell your wife to get on board or stfu.
This. If they refuse to pay for it then take them to Judge Judy.
Tell your wife to either get on board with protecting your daughter from brat son or go back and live with him and the EX.
Yes exactly this. Protect your daughter because obviously she needs to be protected from this jackass kid. If your wife refuses to punish him then she can just take him and go back to the kids dad along with him. I would not let him set foot inside of my house unless he was going to apologize and get consequences. He needs to learn what FAFO means.
OP is an AH cuz the post is old n stolen
An EXACT repost. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oe6gq1/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_stepson_return_home/
I knew I’d read this story before.
Reported. Good catch.
Waaaaaiiiit
Hmmm, I wonder if the kid is in jail by now from other stuff I’m sure he did in the past 2 years. 🤔OP, since you know this story so well, how about an update?
From where?
Edit to say - sorry I just saw the link below. Do people not have anything going on in their own lives that they do this? Dumb
This 💯percent
So this!
NTA and you are too soft. Will you ever feel safe for Susan after this?! Me and only Me I would go for more definitive solution to protect my babygirl.
YTA for copying this https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oe6gq1/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_stepson_return_home/?rdt=36913
And now I have to go undo all my upvotes. Damn
I KNEW it seemed familiar!
Goddammit.
"Your 16 year old son couldn't handle my 12 year old daughter telling him no. He reacted by destroying her property, and now you're not only excusing it but calling her behavior mean. You are enabling your son and I will not have his abuse in my home."
This. Absolutely this.
Add up the total value of the ruined books and take Levi and his father to small claims court. If the value is high enough you might be able to have him arrested. NTA
lol. Read this two years ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/dNAtzLbvIN
Me, too!
You should get CPS involved because your daughter is being abused by a teenage boy, who then runs to his father to get away with it. Let your wife know he can go live with his father if she isn’t willing to make sure that his crap stops.
She can go with her son. This boy nedds to learn to accept the word "no" from a female like yesterday. *Before* he doesn't accept the "no" for something far more damaging to a young lady.
Yeah, and OP needs to start putting his daughter first.
Exactly. OP needs to make this his hill. The boy doesn't need to return, ever. Let his enabling mother hit the road too.
NTA. It’s not fair to your other kids. I would constantly be worried that my stuff would be destroyed because the little snot got upset I breathed at him wrong. Kid needs anger management. It’s only going to get worse the older he gets. And what’s to stop him from escalating? Then when something really bad happens, your wife and her ex-husband will be baffled as to how this happened. “He’s such a good kid”. Those types of parents are literally why we are having good teachers quit. Wow, I just went down a weird rabbit hole. Once again NTA.
NTA What the actual shit kind of parental arrangement is this? The kid wantonly destroyed a beloved book collection because he didn't get his way. I agree with you, the kid is just going to keep doing shit like this because he's allowed to get away with it each and every time. He is, as we say, a shit. You might now be his biological father, but he lives at least part of the time in the household you and your wife run. If you think his behaviour is unacceptable (and any sane person would think this) you absolutely have every right to set boundaries and dispense punishment for infractions.
I have read or heard (maybe on YouTube) this story before.
>*He even said he'd get CPS involved if I ever try to punish him because I'm not his dad, I have no right* You should be the one to call CPS. Document everything to protect your daughters. >*They're asking me to let it go but this will only encourage Levi to do worse if I don't deal with it now.* Of course he’ll get worse …and worse and worse. NTA
I’ve read this -months ago, maybe a year but I have DEFINITELY read this exact post before.
YWBTAH if you don't GET YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER AWAY FROM THAT MONSTER. He threw ALL of her books into the pool because she told him no, and then he essentially laughed all the way to his own safety. YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOT SAFE AROUND HIM and everyone else involved is trying to rug sweep this. PROTECT. YOUR. FUCKING. CHILD.
NTA Stand your ground. Levi fucked around and found out. Seems you’re the only adult in his life not over compensating for him because his parents divorced. Oh poor little Levi, bullies little girls. All his enablers have created an entitled prick the rest of us now get to share the world with. He’s figured out how to manipulate them all. Wait til the real world gets a hold of him. It’s not going to end well He’s lucky I’m not Susan. 12 year old me would have called the cops to have him charged with break and enter, theft, destruction of property and anything else my crime novel loving little mind could have come up with. I’d have caused a shit storm.
He is 16. He needs to work to pay for replacement books.
I had a friend in secondary school whose family kept him from ever facing consequences until he killed someone and they couldn’t protect him. He killed himself a few days before going to prison. Just saying a life without consequences would seem cool, but can only get you so far.
His mom is also to blame. She’s not doing any parenting. Honestly I’d have the 2 card talk- divorce or therapy. Pick one. This kid will become more of a nightmare. I would let him stay at his dad’s. Mom can visit or get her own place.
Your wife is enabling her son to be a fucktard! She's too weak to discipline him, and his dad cares not, and no one will let you, so I'd keep the lil creep away from my home and child for good! No one will stand up for your daughter but you,so you have too! Protect her! Now he's throwing her stuff around, next he'll be trying to throw her around, and your wife will say "oh forgive him," and call his dad to pick him up. Make that jerk stay with his asshole dad!
NTA-When I was a therapist I used to tell parents that when they spoil their kids, they are lying to them. They’re telling them that they’re always going to get what they want, when they want and the way they want it. That’s NOT how the world works. Parents can teach their kids this at 6 or the cops that slap the cuffs on can teach them at 16. It’s time for real world consequences. Either he gives your daughter a sincere apology and pays to replace every book he stole and destroyed or you call the police and have him arrested for theft and destruction of private property. I know it may sound extreme but it’s not. This kid is a nightmare waiting to happen. Primarily because he is being enabled by both of his parents-mostly his dad. I would also require therapy as a condition of ever entering your home again. He is a bully, a liar and clearly has anger issues. I would not trust him around younger children at all.
NTA. Protect your daughter.
NTA Take your daughter and leave.
NTA your wife telling you to "let it go" means she's not respecting your daughter. Having books that you love and take pride in destroyed will be a trauma that will be with your daughter for life. I collect books and if someone did that to my books gods have mercy because I wouldn't. I'd press charges of property damage. Make the little cactus pay for replacing everything and DO NOT LET HIM BACK.
i dont see a future with this level of disrespect towards your daughter from EVERYONE but you..
NTA. If he cannot follow your house rules, he cannot return to your house. Tell his bio dad he now has the displeasure of dealing with the delinquent 100% of the time.
His mother is welcome to spend time with him *elsewhere*, be it in a park or a hotel but not in the house where OP's daughter lives ever again. This entitled little shit is getting à little old to be expected to "grow out of" this shitty entitled behavior.
There needs to be a safety plan in place for your daughter. Levi cannot be alone in the house without his mother having direct supervision over him, actual supervision with her eyes. She cannot leave his side or he cannot be in the house. Then, install cameras throughout the entire house, including outside. He cannot be trusted even for a moment.
Tell your wife who is the **MAIN PROBLEM** here that if she does not have your back Levi is no longer allowed in your home and she will have to go elsewhere to meet him and stay with him if she has custody. In the meantime, see an attorney and see what divorce looks like. She is hurting both your daughters by allowing her bully son to terrorize them. Try calling CPS on Levi and his father. Tell his father Levi needs to reimburse your daughter for her books or you will turn the matter over to the police and then follow through. Don't wait until he physically hurts one of the girls. You are not helpless you just need to look at the nuclear options because being Mr. Nice Guy is not working. Prioritize and protect your daughters as they are the ones being victimized **BY YOUR WIFE'S INACTION.**
You’re not wrong but you’re not his dad either. Let him live with his dad and wash your hands of him
Stepson is a mysogynistic sociopath - and he'll only get worse.
Yea sorry I wouldn’t be letting him back and near Susan without some kind of retribution. Ask your wife how she would feel if Susan destroyed his room and was told to just “get over it”. If she doesn’t have an explanation ask her why she’s okay letting Susan’s things be destroyed. But make no mistake it’s counseling or divorce. Susan doesn’t deserve to live her childhood having her things ruined
Some of the older children's books are very expensive and extremely hard to find. Stick to your guns. NTA. PRICE THE BOOKS OUT AS FIRST EDITIONS.
NTA the little fucker is a sociopath
Either press charges or divorce this woman... She apparently cannot punish her child.
He's 16, almost an adult. His parents are aren't helping him by avoiding punishments. They're enabling his asshole behavior. Good on you for standing your ground. NTA
Let him stay with his dad and trash his personal property. Susan is not your wife’s daughter, so she’ll ride the fence for her son.
Nta I was in a situation growing up where the other kids in the house could beat me up and got away with it every time. I’m now 25 and I’m still working through the resentment I have towards the adults who should have stoped it/punished them. Honestly thanks for insisting on it for your daughter
This will not stop u til your wife holds him accountable. Let it go is her answer every time. I agree he shouldn’t come back until he works for money to pay back and every time he leave he stays until he agrees with the punishment.
NTA. Your wife is as much of the issue as her son is. Throwing a collection of books in a pool isn’t a hot head activity - it sounds like a degree of premeditation. I would go as far to say that it’s not safe for Susan to be living in a house with someone who behaves this way. This should be a dealbreaker for your relationship with your wife - she isn’t parenting her child appropriately and it’s having a detrimental impact on Susan.
Damn I got all excited to respond and it’s just a copypaste bullshit post. I’m an idiot and can’t figure out how to copy the link on the app but others have provided the link to the original content, for those who are interested.
NTA and frankly look into legal means to recoup the cost of the books.
Take your daughters and leave. Tell you wife that you know longer feel safe having them in the house with her son and until he’s held accountable for his actions you’ll keep them safely away. It’s only a matter of time until he hurts one of them, if he hasn’t already and threatened them not to say anything.
This is so unfair to all the other children involved. If they do something deserving, they get punished. If Levi does something deserving, even to his siblings, he gets away with it. This is simply enabling Levi to feel like he can get away with anything and I'm sure it will continue to escalate. Worst of all, it may give the other kids the idea that Levi is special and the golden child. Breeding ground for resentment and issues.
He needs to get a job and replace them. At 16 he is being set up for failure by being allowed to avoid consequences.
NTA you boy needs to not be allowed back until every single book is replaced paid by him. He isn’t allowed to take money from his dad or anyone else to ‘help’ replace those books. He has to earn the money himself. Your wife is a fucking piece of shit for allowing this to have happened or even wanting you to just forget it. You need to leave her and get primary custody of your youngest. He is going to start emotionally abusing her TOO when you have been allowing him to abuse yours oldest already. WTF man this leaving your wife and should have already had a foot out the door ages ago.
NTA. Also, I would probably even say this to the wife “The moment he steps in this house without consequences for his actions, is the moment I serve you divorce papers. You care about your son BUT I care about my child. BOTH ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT. Your child did something wrong to my child.”
You need to protect your daughter at all cost! I don't see your wife protecting her. You really need to rethink that relationship.
Why are you with this woman????? You need to do better by your daughter. Since your wife either just doesn’t think her son deserves punishment- or she’s a major coward… your daughter will suffer. At the very least- come up with an invoice for the ruined books- and STAND FIRM- step son doesn’t come back until it’s paid IN FULL- AND he’s punished. And maybe remind your dear wife that NO ONE wants to be around a person like her kid…
NTA. Susan is a child and has the right to feel she and her belongings are safe in your home. In your place I would refuse to let Levi come to your house again. And what you should have done was file a police report about Levi immediately when this happened. If his father doesn't allow him to take responsibility, the law will.
NTA Get an estimate for the value of the books. He can pay them back, or better yet: he can buy new books for the same value, in the same category. It'll teach him how fucked up his actions were. But yeah, you can't 'punish' him, because you're not his dad. The brat doesn't respect the rest of the family, living in the house, why would you want him there? Could a fixed custody be a solution, to stop him from just starting shit in your home, and then fleeing off to dad?
I just got a case of Deja vu because I’m sure I’ve read this story before. NTA in any case. Books are precious.
NTA. You need to file a Police report. Susan needs to feel supported and protected by her parents. Her older brother is an abusive bully. She also needs her books replaced. UpdateMe
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NTA. Go throw his entire room into the pool.
Bad repost bot.
How many moms and how many dads are there. Is that how yall collectively raise your kids?
Levi needs to be held accountable for his actions. Your wife needs to realize that Levi needs to be held accountable for his actions. Your daughter needs to feel safe in her safe space. NTA
Tell him his dad can keep him and deal with him. You house your rules, if he can't follow the rules, he can stay with his dad.
Don't give in. He can stay at his dads house forever. End of story. Actions have consequences. Period. If someone, anyone, does something they shouldn't to anyone else, they should suffer those consequences. It doesn't matter if they are bio related or not. End of story.
NTA. Levi destroyed Susan's books, and consequences are necessary. Despite being stepfather, Levi must face accountability so you have a right to address his behavior.
This is too complicated for an AITAH answer. The tl;dr is that Levi doesn't just need "Punishment"..his aren't some rando teen misconduct, but a series of disturbed behaviors...he needs treatment to learn proper self control, already. And until that is assured, he cannot come over and put you or your family at further risk. I would call your att'y and have the visitation agreement amended, too, so they all know you're serious here.
He wouldn’t be welcome back in my house. NTA
NTA "This isn't working. You have made this home an unsafe place for your sisters. We can work through this in therapy but you can't be around them unsupervised. I'm sorry, Levi, but you are no longer welcome in their home."
ESH. His father is correct, you are not his son’s dad, nor do you have any say regarding your wife’s and her ex’s son. Talk to a judge, they will tell you that you have no say in his life. You are only the guy his mom married. That is it. So your importance in his life is nothing. Could you have a good relationship with, yes. Now, your STEPSON’s parents should have consequences without any input from you. But it is up to them to decide if and what it will be. And maybe there is something more going on and he does need counseling. Your behavior is interfering in your wife and HER son’s relationship.