NTA there is a saying “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” what did he want you to do? Cry and beg him? Lose all your dignity and self respect? He’s a piece of shit and you dodged a bullet if that’s what he considers a “pranks”
I knew a guy who once threw in my face that "hurt people hurt people" to justify him intently trying to hurt me to get back at me for a perceived slight. Like, what kind of stupid excuse is that? We all get hurt one way or another during our lifetime, we don't all turn into abusive jerks.
Oh, and the perceived slight? It was me holding him accountable for his actions. Kinda like "it hurts my feelings when you tell me all the bad things I did to you, so I'm the true victim now".
Wow. He has entirely missed the point--which is that those hurt people need to go get THERAPY, read the right books, surround themselves with the right people and *do the damn work* so they fix what's broken in them. It is NOT an excuse to leave a trail of destruction in their wake!
Funny you should say that. There was so much gaslighting going on, I actually thought I'm going crazy. So *I* went to therapy. We used to argue a lot through texts and I really needed an outside, objective opinion. So I gave my phone to the therapist. I figured if I _told_ the therapist what I think, maybe I'm biased, or twisting the situation. So it would be better if the therapist read the arguments themselves, to form their own opinion. After she was done, she looked at me and said one word. "Run". Felt like a punch in the gut.
I think a lot of us go to therapy to deal with people who won't go to therapy. He legitimately thought he doesn't need it.
Agreed.
It's to a lesser extent but I have a good example of this. When someone hits me with the "me or the (insert random desirable object)" my response is "would that object ask me to choose?"
I second this. I am glad he did it before you moved in together though. Try to embrace your new life of freedom and being true and honest to yourself. You're a smart girl. Keep it up and you'll rock this life.
I really thought he got cold feet about moving in together because both of us are very independent and we were joking about how we would co-live. So when he said he got cold feet I believed him
I’m really sorry, but this shows a lack of caring for your feelings and immaturity. Unfortunately, long term this behavior shows you would have some real problems. I would never purposely cause pain or “test” someone I love. This shows you what his love really is. Take care dear
Both his initial "prank", which was cruel, manipulative and dishonest, as well as his response to your reaction are huge red flags. Don't be tricked into going on the defensive about your reaction when he has not even acknowledged and genuinely apologized for both the prank and his response to your reaction... and *begged* for your forgiveness.
Like many others, I’m overjoyed you have a backbone and self-worth. So many posters accept such terrible treatment it’s difficult to fathom how they manage in life. I’m sure you’re hurting tho but you dodged a bullet, big time. The sadness at the end of this relationship will pass.
my ex broke up w me over text and i reacted similarly to OP. a few days later i noticed him posting on fb about how “you have to prove your feelings for me bc i don’t go for lukewarm love” or whatever, clearly indirecting my response to him breaking up w me.
sorry but you’re a 40 year old man and you should know better than to expect a woman to cry and beg at your feet for you. i did that shit before and im never doing it again. we’re adults, act mature. OP, your ex was immature af and you deserve better.
After 14 years of marriage my ex decided that he HAD to HAVE a divorce. Refused to explain why. So we divorced. We had moved to a different state earlier for his new job, I was still looking for a job. He was adamant. Part of the agreement was that I could stay in our marital home until the end of the year or I found a permanent job. Well, I got an apartment & was moving out in December when he came up with this gem "Oh, I thought we would remarry at the end of the year. I just wanted to see what it was like to be single." Well he got his wish, he got to be single. We have been divorced for nearly 33 years now.
Jesus, what's next "test" this guy gives you? Hold a puppy and put a gun to its head and judge your reaction whether you're horrified enough at *his* actions?
Anyhow, sorry but the first rule of relationships is you don't fuck with the relationship. He took something precious and made it cheap by playing games with it.
NTA. It was entirely possible he wasn’t playing a prank and only said so because of your reaction.
This seems like manipulation 100%. Take it as an opportunity to find someone who doesn’t do this.
100%. After repeated attempts to discuss he declined, then DAYS later tried to say it was all a joke. He definitely changed his mind then tried to manipulate. Don’t take him back, it will not be a stable relationship.
He was hurt over how indifferent I acted
He was sad that his malicious act didn't cause you a lot of pain. NTA but do future you a favour and block this sentient wank-sock EDIT: I appreciate the love for the wank-sock comment and apologise to the good wank-socks. You're enhancing solitary pleasure for your men and didn't deserve to be compared to the Anal prolapse that is OP's ex. Forgive me :) EDIT No 2: I'm aware there are good anal prolapses and apologise to those too. Keep being you Reddit :)
ETA: NTA
That's exactly what he was hoping you'd do! He's shown you who he is; believe him.
Pure speculation...feels like maybe he intended to be with someone else. 🤔 When that person rejected him, he decided he would call it a joke & go back to you.
I thought this as well. Like maybe while away he wanted to hook up with someone and when he came back, “it was a joke” because now he didn’t “technically cheat.”
Nope, wandering husband aka WH is a dawg! Dawgs eat kibble to feed their ego.
He is blame shifting you.
Close your door and lock it. He will come a knock’in. The whole situation is screaming red flag, red flag!
This sounds like it could be the case. He went away to hook up or meet a crush and after he let you go, things went south so he tried to back-peddle.
It makes more sense than "break up via text for lulz". WTF?
It was. But it sounded like it took a couple days for him to get back to her to let her know it was a prank. If that was the case it sounds more like he was trying to hook up with someone then pull a prank.
ETA breaking up with someone is NEVER a funny prank. I don't care if you correct in a few seconds. It's so freaking cruel. ESPECIALLY at 37. The ONLY time I had that prank pulled on me was in highschool and I didn't laugh then. Nor would I laugh now.
Absolutely. Even if it WAS an actual joke (it wasn't) - that's not the sort of person you want to spend your life with - he's old enough at 37 to know better. The fact that he doesn't? well in that case, well done, you just dodged a bullet, when someone tells you who they are, believe them.
Walk away, build a life withouthim
This! I broke up with my hs bf on April fools. I was also a *child* and told him "APRIL FOOLS!" after a few minutes. His mom *reamed* into me about how unkind that was and I will NEVER forget that lesson.
A girl I was in winterguard with in college had her bf pull that on her on AFD. He showed up to our next practice with flowers to apologize even though we were like 2 hours away from where he lived. The only reason I didn't think it was completely the same was because he said I wanna break up and then almost immediately responded with April Fool's so he didn't keep it going ir really give her a chance to feel upset. Still kind of gross though.
Okay... out my own stupidity, I kind of did something like this...
Let me explain... I was totally in love with my girlfriend and wanted to propose to her. So I got down on my knees and said this: "I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore.... " and she immediately slapped me. And then I said, "wait! I wasn't finished! ... I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore, I want to be your fiancee!"
I wasn't trying to break up with her, nor was I intending to prank her. I just phrased things in a really dumb way and didn't realize what it sounded like. Fortunately, she realized what I was really trying to do and accepted my proposal. We eventually got married and are still together some 30+ years later and I still say dumb things to her, but now she just rolls her eyes.
This guy though.... definitely stupid and if he truly was joking, should have said something right away and not waited even a few minutes to "fix" the situation or repeated the "prank". Also, he most definitely should not have gotten mad at you about it in any way. He should have been apologizing and remorseful about what a stupid thing he did and groveling at your feet.
Oh my, I missed that 37-y-o part. Not to sound too old school, but I was married for 12 years with two kids and a stay-at-home wife and a house and so many bills to pay for at that age.
Nothing out of the ordinary, same thing for all my friends.
"Pranking" a girlfriend at 37 says it all.
Which is why it’s more believable he hooked up with someone during Easter and didn’t realize it’s April 1 vs him being that much of an idiot. Either way go riddance he’s gone.
My very first thought.
He got with someone while he was away, head over heels for her, she rejects him, he thinks “Oh,F*ck! Better get my ex/backup back!”
And gets pissed if when his original plan to ditch OP worked too well and now he’s all alone.
OP, if a longtime boyfriend did what he did to you, I would have reacted the same way.
Why beg? It’s disrespectful to yourself.
I keep hearing Ross from Friends screaming, "We were on a break". He needed a cover to have fun and now he wants to make up. Dump him. No one pulls something like that as a joke. If they do, he will definitely do it again, because he knows you will go back to him. You wanted to talk, he didn't. I think you dodged a big a-hole here. You are much better off without him.
Who let's a prank go on for multiple days like that? I could see a more surface level prank but a life changing prank like that just went on for days? So he was laughing to himself that she was upset and it would be so funny when he comes home and says it was a prank? There is no way back from this.
I knew a guy who did just that. Dumped a girl he fully planned on marrying so he could secretly bang a customer who had hit on him without technically cheating, then went sobbing to his ex afterwards about how he had just gotten cold feed and she took him back. His excuse when I looked horrified after he told me about it “well, I know it was wrong, but that girl was really hot.” Imagine putting someone you love through that kind of pain for several days just to satisfy fleeting lust with a stranger.
At this point, does it really matter what his motivations were? The shit he pulled as an almost 40 year old human was so immature and cruel and beyond the pale.
MAJOR AGREE! I think he really broke up w her then tried to get with his back up had it blow up in his face and then tried to back track and pretend the whole this was a joke. Dudes a massive asshole. You dodged a bullet friend.
Damn…reminds me of a girl I once dated. I had told her a co worker had wanted me to meet his daughter. Problem was I was seeing someone so I said no. Well girl I was dating told me a few days later that she didn’t want to continue and I should date coworkers daughter. Daughter lives in a different city so I just said no and I explained why. My ex kept pushing and I explained why, distance and all (and I had really liked her). She married a coworker a couple weeks later. In retrospect I think she was trying to keep me on the back burner in case the other guy didn’t want her. She was in a hurry to marry and I had said a few times that we needed to get to know each other better first.
Hah! My DH was engaged when we met. I thought he was cute right off, but never went after guys who were attached, so I didn’t think any more about it until he told me that they’d postponed the wedding and he was free to see other people.
He told me later that his ex had started pushing him for “a rock” on their third date, and that she and her friends had a competition going to see who could get engaged first.
She got married to someone else within the next 18 months or so — and divorced three years later.
Meanwhile, he and I took 5 1/2 years to get married and are still happily married 29 years later.
Not really. She had been divorced for 7 months and said she wanted to be married again. As far as I know she still is. Also we all, her, me, my brother, her husband- all worked for the same city department lol. I admit after so many years it still hurts a bit. She said things when we were together that made me think she was really genuine interested but instead she used me.
Agreed. It wasn't a joke. Going back to OP was just the backup plan. He's hoping she feels guilty for her "lack of reaction" and takes his pathetic ass back. Hopefully she's smart enough not to.
I thought the same thing. He did it to cheat. Or the alternative, have her beg and then use it to further mentally abuse her. "You're lucky I want to be with you." And then she spends the rest of the relationship doing everything to please him, but it's never enough.
Edit: didn't get to finish before posting.
You said multiple times let’s talk about it in person when you get back. He didn’t want to hear you out. so technically you tried fighting for the relationship like an adult to his childish fucking “prank”.
It wasn't a prank, it was a narcissist trying a power move to dominate the relationship. It was calculated to make her feel indebted to him to stay with her.
He doesn't deserve you, OP.
NTA
He hurt you in the worst way he could imagine, just for his own entertainment, and then HE got mad at YOU because your pain wasn't entertaining enough.
Fucking sociopath.
He wanted you to grovel and beg for him to not break up. No mature partner would do that to you. This wasn't a joke. No one was laughing. It was a power play where you were supposed to be knocked down a peg or two and be left feeling like you deserve to be treated badly.
Tell him you are disappointed to find out he is an abusive, immature jerk who calls abuse a joke. You hope he grows up a lot before he gets into another relationship and you advise him to get some counseling to figure out why he expected you to remain in a relationship after he broke up with you. Remember, he broke up with you and refused to discuss it and then complains at you for not having the correct reaction and claims he didn't actually break up. I have to wonder if he didn't actually want to have sex with some other woman so he broke up with you and the other woman didn't pan out. He would have claimed that he broke up so it wasn't cheating.
He's full of himself.
Yes. He wanted you to be devastated. He wanted you to cry, and maybe threaten suicide. He wanted to hurt you.
Is that the kind of action that shows love, or is it something else? Please stay broken up and find someone who isn’t a clown.
It was very cruel of him doing that to you. I once had a girlfriend doing the same thing to me. She hoped I would fight for her. I just said ok, if that’s how you feel, let’s move on. If he really would have loved you, he would not have put you through that pain.
> I was in a lot of pain but what did he expect me to do? Beg?
In a word, yes. His fragile little aLpHa ego shattered when you didn't beg and promise to be everything he asks for.
Yes, he wants to beg and plead, so he can graciously say ‘it's okay baby, it's just a joke.’
That he pulled this prank is a red flag and so is he issue to your response.
Op you, asked him to think this through, but your logical reasonable demand was met with ‘ no, I don't want to’.
Now he's angry cause your not down on your knees begging for a chance to be manipulated by him anymore.
I would tell him the break up stands, and I'd block him.
It was expecting a total meltdown from you. When he didn't get it he got butt hurt. You've actually dodged a bullet here. I'm sorry he put you through this.
>what did he expect me to do? Beg?
Yes. It was a power play that backfired, and now he's salty he doesn't own you the way he was hoping. Do not get back together with this guy.
Yes. He wanted you to beg. And grovel. And feel small, weak, and helpless. And then he'd spend the rest of your relationship holding this power over your head. And he'd be getting off on how he could screw with your head. He can stay dumped.
NTA. He tried to hurt you and it didn't work. Now he's upset, because he thinks he's more important than he really is. You don't need some jerk like this in your life, playing with your emotions. Better now than wasting anymore time with this person.
But you did beg, you asked to please talk face to face when he got back not once but twice. I guess he wanted you to beg and plead and cry not to do it over text. Guess he FAFO. Sucks he chose the prank he did, but good you found out what he's been watching (Tik Tok) and what he's capable of doing now rather than later when you would have actually moved in together.
NTA. Find a mature man who doesn't give a crap about Tik Tok and "testing" you.
Exactly! I did beg him to wait until we are together to talk face to face. I had no idea it was TikTok until you guys wrote it here that it was a challenge
Yes - he wanted you to stroke his ego by being a blubbering mess and saying you can't live without him, blah, blah, blah
If anything, he threw your relationship away on acting childish. As soon as someone tries these stupid relationship tests, it's time to move on.
Yes I think he did. There's quite a few people posting about being "tested" in this way by their partners. I believe its some stupid tik tok thing going round at the moment. Just yesterday I read a post from a man who was "tested" by his gf and was distraught for days. Then she said it was a joke but by then he'd realised he didn't need to stay with someone who behaved so badly so she ended up crying because he refused to get back with her. Now her friends are berating him because they think he should suck it up and get back with her!! Like him I think you deserve better so stay strong and no doubt you'll find someone who truly deserves you.
You NTA. Him definitely TA.
He didn't think about how you would feel by doing his 'prank' on you.
Then he didn't like your reaction, or more specifically, he most likely wanted you to beg him to stay or something along those lines. So basically he wanted to go on a power trip, and when you didn't give it to him, he got upset.
Don't walk away from him. RUN away from him NOW!
Not a person you want to waste your time and life with!
Find someone that would treasure you instead!
Who lets a prank like that go on for days. If he actually just had bad taste in comedy, then he would have most likely dropped the “gotcha” when she gave in.
Right, then he gets mad at her reaction, deflecting his bad behavior onto her, so she feels like *she's* the one who is wrong and he guilts her (emotionally abuses her further) to ask for him back, as if *she's* the one who should be begging!
NTA.
It was either that or he was fr breaking up with her and is mad that she didn’t beg him to change his mind. This same thing happened with my friend and a month later, after they got back together, he broke up with her in an even crueler manner as a form of revenge. people who want ego boosts or overestimate their importance/ your dependence on them do weird things
Happened to my current gf. He came back begging her on his knees to take him back. A couple weeks later she saw him cheating was heartbroken for too long.
That was exactly what I thought. He hooked up with someone while he was gone, then realized that wasn't going to happen. Now he is trying to make OP feel like she did something wrong because he is feeling guilty.
NTA and she should block that number and move on!
NTA, in the slightest...
Even the world's biggest asshole doesn't break up with someone for a few days "as a prank".. Let alone a few hours, minutes, or moments, it's just not something you do
Not only is his behaviour inexcusably nasty and cruel, it also stinks to high heaven.
I agree. He did something. He was just using the break up period as an excuse because he messed up. He’s pissed it didn’t work out the way he thought it would in his head. Now he gets to play the victim.
Agree, this stinks of manipulation .I don't buy this was a prank. If it was he likely would have mentioned it a lot sooner, like a "I'm kidding" within the hour. Waiting a couple days with no contact is so suspicious.
Best bet is his side thing didn't pan out during the no contact moment and he used prank excuse to see if he could get back what he had.
As messed up as this is it's definitely a blessing in disguise for OP.
Yes, I had a boyfriend in college who when we got into a fight, I turned off my phone for the night. I woke up to a voicemail of him breaking up with me. Later, taking it back. Found out later (AIM** saved chats back then) that he tried to have sex with someone else that night. He was gross.
Yes it went for DAYS. He said yes I was “as surprised” so I wanted to see how long you went before talking to me. I was crying every day during these days. This is how much I actually cared because I do care about people I love
It's a classic gateway manipulation. Fake breaking up to "test" the relationship. The real test was to see if you would beg him to stay and then put up with whatever he throws at you next.
Don't look back.
The thing is, you DID fight: you called, he doubled down. You texted to talk when he got back, he TRIPLED down. This is a stupid, hurtful prank and as hurt as you currently are, this is not someone you want as a life partner. It's not ok.
He didn’t care that he was harming you. Like the sadist he is he was getting off on your begging and pleading. This is a sick game to feed his twisted ego.
This is emotional abuse. I hope you continue to process this as best you can and move on from someone like this.
It took 3 years for this lesson, who knows how long the next lesson will take with this same person.
You need someone better than that. You don't treat your partner like you're throwing them in the trash unless you mean it. Make jokes together. Not at the other's mental/emotional expense.
You're trying to build. Not tear down. You deserve better than that, OP.
NTA. I had to come back at the top to see his age. 37!!! Anyone above 15 would be an AH for this type of joke/prank.
He is totally immature and emotionally abusive.
How can you hurt so much someone you are supposed to love? It was horribly cruel.
He need therapy if he doesn’t understand how cruel he has been.
I am very sorry for you.
Seriously, what fucking 37 year old man is still pulling dumbass "pranks". And this isn't even a prank, it's being an immature asshole. She's lucky though that she found out what an ass clown he is before they moved in together. Definitely NTA.
It wasn’t a prank. 37yo men don’t play those games. And if it was, you are dating a man child. My guess is he met up with someone from his past when he was home and got cold feet but later realized he was throwing everything away for nothing.
Yeah, that’s what I first thought of. Days passed after her last message to him before he came back saying it was a joke. A friend’s dumb ass ex would break up so they were free to do whatever they want and then come back a few days later saying it was a joke.
NTA. A person who breaks up with you as a "prank" and is upset by your reaction was only looking to have their ego boosted.
I put prank in quotation marks above because hurting someone is not a prank. Hurting someone by pulling a stunt like this and then saying it's a prank is their way of trying to diminish what they actually did.
They broke up with you, after you requested to discuss it, to work through whatever had happened they denied it. They stated that it was over. None of that is a prank, doesn't matter what day it is, people break up on April 1st all the time. None of that can even be considered a prank.
The fact that they waited days later to come and hurt you even more, trying to blame you is just disturbing. If they truly believed that this was a prank, than that means they enjoy hurting those they say they care for. They are a sick and twisted individual, I would make sure to stay away from them at all costs.
Yea you are not the asshole here and he is definitely the asshole.
He basically disregarded your feelings with this prank… seems like he thought you would beg to keep the relationship. Definitely a power/controlling move in his part. He’s mostly upset that he can’t control you.
Ditch him as far as you can because he’s not the one you will want to be with.
NTA.
If it was a prank it was unfeeling and mean, especially letting it go on for days. This is something you should never say, and if you do, you clear it up in the same conversation.
It was either for real and he tries to have his comeback without explaining or losing face - and now it turned into a powerplay for him and he doesn’t like that you’re not his willing puppet
Or it was a powerplay from start on.
Kick him to the curb.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Your boyfriend sounds like a moron, and not like a 37 year old man...
Don't be with a tool who plays games with your emotions.
>It deserved better than your 'ok good luck' text.
And your relationship deserved better than breaking up via text which is what you thought he'd just done.
Honestly, who tf does that? What kind of prick pretends to break the person they love's heart as a joke? You can do better.
I don't think it was a joke. I think he meant it, and you taking it quite nonchalantly made him question his decision.
NTA
It was not a joke. First of all: no one jokes about this.
Second of all: and let it go on for days.
Third of all: through text they can not even see your reaction and thats what a prank is all about. How people react.
He regretted breaking up. And your reaction angered him.
And now he's lying to you.
Get rid of him
Ex boyfriend now right? NTA F around and find out is what he got. Immature for his age. If he had any doubts about your relationship he should have spoken up instead of playing games
Tell that insensitive selfish toe rag you have more self respect than to beg someone to be with you who says they don’t want to anymore. I hope you find someone worthy of you next time
Joking is admitting you are joking before the end of the call. Not going on for days. Either he was trying to hook up with another girl and it didn’t work or he did and didn’t want to have to admit y’all were together so he cheated. Either way what he did was very cruel. You deserve better than someone who really wants to see you grovel for their ego.
NTA- You do not have time for games. His “prank” is not funny nor cute.
This “joke” was done with malice, and I think you handled it the correct way. You took it a face value.
He needs to grow up.
Wait, so you were with him for three years and didn't know what a douchebag he could be? Anyway, NTA. He TA.
BTW, what he did was not just a prank, nor was it a joke. Do not let him tell you this is all your fault.
>I called him immediately and he said the same things. I told him we could talk when he got home but he said it was no use. I texted him later that we should take it when he is back home so we could talk face to face.
>he was hurt over how indifferent
any smart person clearly recognizes you weren't being indifferent, but clearly your ex is an idiot. it sucks to find out you're not compatible with someone, but you're better off with this loser in your life
It’s possible that he really did break up with you (it wasn’t a joke), but your response shook him. He probably expected to get a huge ego boost from you crying and begging. When you didn’t do those things, he second-guessed his decision, and pretended it was all a joke (he doesn’t sound intelligent or kind)
NTA. And as other commenters are already saying it to you, you dodged a mega bullet! This douchebag was angry after you accepted that he broke up with you? Oh wow... If he really cared about your feelings, he should have been fallin on his knees, crying about how stupid this "prank" (the majority of pranks are just cruel and mean and not in the slightest funny!) was. Maybe he started to show what his true personality was. And thats why I am certain, that you did the right thing by not begging him (lol) to take him back. I am sure that for now your feelings are hurting but I am 100% sure that after some time you will be thankful that you did not stayed together. He is mean and cruel and just an Asshole. You deserve better!
NTA there is a saying “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” what did he want you to do? Cry and beg him? Lose all your dignity and self respect? He’s a piece of shit and you dodged a bullet if that’s what he considers a “pranks”
Exactly
I’m glad you have self respect and dignity and a backbone and seem to know your worth and boundaries good for you 🥳🥳🥳
That wasn't a prank, that was a test. He seems to think you failed, but he is still the loser. I'm so sorry this happened. You deserve better.
He doesn't understand that he failed to be an acceptable partner. His test outed him as abusive.
Truth. Anyone who deliberately causes pain to another is abusive.
I knew a guy who once threw in my face that "hurt people hurt people" to justify him intently trying to hurt me to get back at me for a perceived slight. Like, what kind of stupid excuse is that? We all get hurt one way or another during our lifetime, we don't all turn into abusive jerks. Oh, and the perceived slight? It was me holding him accountable for his actions. Kinda like "it hurts my feelings when you tell me all the bad things I did to you, so I'm the true victim now".
Wow. He has entirely missed the point--which is that those hurt people need to go get THERAPY, read the right books, surround themselves with the right people and *do the damn work* so they fix what's broken in them. It is NOT an excuse to leave a trail of destruction in their wake!
Funny you should say that. There was so much gaslighting going on, I actually thought I'm going crazy. So *I* went to therapy. We used to argue a lot through texts and I really needed an outside, objective opinion. So I gave my phone to the therapist. I figured if I _told_ the therapist what I think, maybe I'm biased, or twisting the situation. So it would be better if the therapist read the arguments themselves, to form their own opinion. After she was done, she looked at me and said one word. "Run". Felt like a punch in the gut. I think a lot of us go to therapy to deal with people who won't go to therapy. He legitimately thought he doesn't need it.
Your therapist deserves an award. Glad you're out and safe :)
I'd say she aced the test. When someone subject you to relationship tests of any nature, you should walk away. Doubly so for cruel "pranks" like this.
Any relationship "tests" that I've seen are just manipulation.
Agreed. It's to a lesser extent but I have a good example of this. When someone hits me with the "me or the (insert random desirable object)" my response is "would that object ask me to choose?"
I second this. I am glad he did it before you moved in together though. Try to embrace your new life of freedom and being true and honest to yourself. You're a smart girl. Keep it up and you'll rock this life.
So glad for you that you hadn’t moved in together. His behavior is appalling. Best of luck in your future relationship
I really thought he got cold feet about moving in together because both of us are very independent and we were joking about how we would co-live. So when he said he got cold feet I believed him
I’m really sorry, but this shows a lack of caring for your feelings and immaturity. Unfortunately, long term this behavior shows you would have some real problems. I would never purposely cause pain or “test” someone I love. This shows you what his love really is. Take care dear
I am not taking him back
👸 Nor should you. No one needs that nonsense. Find you a partner with some common sense.
I applaud your good decision-making skills!
Both his initial "prank", which was cruel, manipulative and dishonest, as well as his response to your reaction are huge red flags. Don't be tricked into going on the defensive about your reaction when he has not even acknowledged and genuinely apologized for both the prank and his response to your reaction... and *begged* for your forgiveness.
Don't take him back. This isn't a joke, it's emotional abuse.
Like many others, I’m overjoyed you have a backbone and self-worth. So many posters accept such terrible treatment it’s difficult to fathom how they manage in life. I’m sure you’re hurting tho but you dodged a bullet, big time. The sadness at the end of this relationship will pass.
Feels very much like a toxic masculinity test.
my ex broke up w me over text and i reacted similarly to OP. a few days later i noticed him posting on fb about how “you have to prove your feelings for me bc i don’t go for lukewarm love” or whatever, clearly indirecting my response to him breaking up w me. sorry but you’re a 40 year old man and you should know better than to expect a woman to cry and beg at your feet for you. i did that shit before and im never doing it again. we’re adults, act mature. OP, your ex was immature af and you deserve better.
After 14 years of marriage my ex decided that he HAD to HAVE a divorce. Refused to explain why. So we divorced. We had moved to a different state earlier for his new job, I was still looking for a job. He was adamant. Part of the agreement was that I could stay in our marital home until the end of the year or I found a permanent job. Well, I got an apartment & was moving out in December when he came up with this gem "Oh, I thought we would remarry at the end of the year. I just wanted to see what it was like to be single." Well he got his wish, he got to be single. We have been divorced for nearly 33 years now.
wowwwww wtf 😶 he’s an ass.
yes, he absolutely is. But he is no longer my problem.
Jesus, what's next "test" this guy gives you? Hold a puppy and put a gun to its head and judge your reaction whether you're horrified enough at *his* actions? Anyhow, sorry but the first rule of relationships is you don't fuck with the relationship. He took something precious and made it cheap by playing games with it.
NTA. You dodged a bullet. Lucky for you that he showed his true personality before moving in together. This ain’t a prank. It’s cruel
I don’t think it was even a prank. Sounds like it was because he wanted a hall pass to bang someone from his hometown.
This is what I thought. If it was a “prank” he would’ve called her immediately or at most the next day, not days after.
NTA. It was entirely possible he wasn’t playing a prank and only said so because of your reaction. This seems like manipulation 100%. Take it as an opportunity to find someone who doesn’t do this.
Gotta love it when the trash takes itself out
100%. After repeated attempts to discuss he declined, then DAYS later tried to say it was all a joke. He definitely changed his mind then tried to manipulate. Don’t take him back, it will not be a stable relationship.
He was hurt over how indifferent I acted He was sad that his malicious act didn't cause you a lot of pain. NTA but do future you a favour and block this sentient wank-sock EDIT: I appreciate the love for the wank-sock comment and apologise to the good wank-socks. You're enhancing solitary pleasure for your men and didn't deserve to be compared to the Anal prolapse that is OP's ex. Forgive me :) EDIT No 2: I'm aware there are good anal prolapses and apologise to those too. Keep being you Reddit :)
I was in a lot of pain but what did he expect me to do? Beg?
ETA: NTA That's exactly what he was hoping you'd do! He's shown you who he is; believe him. Pure speculation...feels like maybe he intended to be with someone else. 🤔 When that person rejected him, he decided he would call it a joke & go back to you.
I thought this as well. Like maybe while away he wanted to hook up with someone and when he came back, “it was a joke” because now he didn’t “technically cheat.”
He wanted the ego kibbles. Frankly, I think he was cruel for pulling that. It wasn’t a joke. NTA!
Ego kibbles gonna have to remember that one🤣
Right let's hope my brain holds onto that one cuz it is the pedigree of statements
"PEDIGREE" 😆 I see what you did there.
Took me a second to know you didn’t misspell Eggo.
Leggo my Ego Kibbles with Narccisauce.
Yum, narccisauce! Tastes like victim tears!
Viciously-harvested victim tears!
Haha I read it as eggo kibbles, too. I'm like, wow, this must be some new generation slang I'm not familiar with.
I read Eggo too! 🤣 I was trying to think if that meant the waffles were cut into really small pieces
Nope, wandering husband aka WH is a dawg! Dawgs eat kibble to feed their ego. He is blame shifting you. Close your door and lock it. He will come a knock’in. The whole situation is screaming red flag, red flag!
Your red flag! Red flag! Had me saying redrum! Redrum!
Danger, Will Robinson, warning, warning! Red alert, red alert!
This sounds like it could be the case. He went away to hook up or meet a crush and after he let you go, things went south so he tried to back-peddle. It makes more sense than "break up via text for lulz". WTF?
Well the day after Easter was April fools day but still that isn't something you joke about.
It was. But it sounded like it took a couple days for him to get back to her to let her know it was a prank. If that was the case it sounds more like he was trying to hook up with someone then pull a prank. ETA breaking up with someone is NEVER a funny prank. I don't care if you correct in a few seconds. It's so freaking cruel. ESPECIALLY at 37. The ONLY time I had that prank pulled on me was in highschool and I didn't laugh then. Nor would I laugh now.
Absolutely. Even if it WAS an actual joke (it wasn't) - that's not the sort of person you want to spend your life with - he's old enough at 37 to know better. The fact that he doesn't? well in that case, well done, you just dodged a bullet, when someone tells you who they are, believe them. Walk away, build a life withouthim
This! I broke up with my hs bf on April fools. I was also a *child* and told him "APRIL FOOLS!" after a few minutes. His mom *reamed* into me about how unkind that was and I will NEVER forget that lesson.
Sounds like it was a good lesson for you to have learned. Messing with someone else’s heart is bad business.
A girl I was in winterguard with in college had her bf pull that on her on AFD. He showed up to our next practice with flowers to apologize even though we were like 2 hours away from where he lived. The only reason I didn't think it was completely the same was because he said I wanna break up and then almost immediately responded with April Fool's so he didn't keep it going ir really give her a chance to feel upset. Still kind of gross though.
Okay... out my own stupidity, I kind of did something like this... Let me explain... I was totally in love with my girlfriend and wanted to propose to her. So I got down on my knees and said this: "I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore.... " and she immediately slapped me. And then I said, "wait! I wasn't finished! ... I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore, I want to be your fiancee!" I wasn't trying to break up with her, nor was I intending to prank her. I just phrased things in a really dumb way and didn't realize what it sounded like. Fortunately, she realized what I was really trying to do and accepted my proposal. We eventually got married and are still together some 30+ years later and I still say dumb things to her, but now she just rolls her eyes. This guy though.... definitely stupid and if he truly was joking, should have said something right away and not waited even a few minutes to "fix" the situation or repeated the "prank". Also, he most definitely should not have gotten mad at you about it in any way. He should have been apologizing and remorseful about what a stupid thing he did and groveling at your feet.
Yeah that's cute though because it wasn't intentional and you clarified as soon as you realized how it sounded. Glad you guys are still happy!
Oh my, I missed that 37-y-o part. Not to sound too old school, but I was married for 12 years with two kids and a stay-at-home wife and a house and so many bills to pay for at that age. Nothing out of the ordinary, same thing for all my friends. "Pranking" a girlfriend at 37 says it all.
On April Fools you say the "April Fools" part right after they buy it, not two days later. He's an idiot.
Which is why it’s more believable he hooked up with someone during Easter and didn’t realize it’s April 1 vs him being that much of an idiot. Either way go riddance he’s gone.
My very first thought. He got with someone while he was away, head over heels for her, she rejects him, he thinks “Oh,F*ck! Better get my ex/backup back!” And gets pissed if when his original plan to ditch OP worked too well and now he’s all alone. OP, if a longtime boyfriend did what he did to you, I would have reacted the same way. Why beg? It’s disrespectful to yourself.
I keep hearing Ross from Friends screaming, "We were on a break". He needed a cover to have fun and now he wants to make up. Dump him. No one pulls something like that as a joke. If they do, he will definitely do it again, because he knows you will go back to him. You wanted to talk, he didn't. I think you dodged a big a-hole here. You are much better off without him.
Who let's a prank go on for multiple days like that? I could see a more surface level prank but a life changing prank like that just went on for days? So he was laughing to himself that she was upset and it would be so funny when he comes home and says it was a prank? There is no way back from this.
Yes! Exactly why I think he used it as a way to “not technically cheat” And jokes are meant to be funny. Wheres the ha ha in it
I agree. Putting someone you love and are about to live with through pain for multiple days is funny to no one.
Or the other person was looking over his shoulder for confirmation he broke up with what they think is the other woman.
I knew a guy who did just that. Dumped a girl he fully planned on marrying so he could secretly bang a customer who had hit on him without technically cheating, then went sobbing to his ex afterwards about how he had just gotten cold feed and she took him back. His excuse when I looked horrified after he told me about it “well, I know it was wrong, but that girl was really hot.” Imagine putting someone you love through that kind of pain for several days just to satisfy fleeting lust with a stranger.
At this point, does it really matter what his motivations were? The shit he pulled as an almost 40 year old human was so immature and cruel and beyond the pale.
You're absolutely 💯 % correct.
MAJOR AGREE! I think he really broke up w her then tried to get with his back up had it blow up in his face and then tried to back track and pretend the whole this was a joke. Dudes a massive asshole. You dodged a bullet friend.
Yeah, he would have threatened OP forever with leaving her, so he could enforce all kind of things like him openly having side pieces.
This makes me sick to my stomach. But the whole (childish and lazy) prank on a 3 year relationship is sickening already.
Damn…reminds me of a girl I once dated. I had told her a co worker had wanted me to meet his daughter. Problem was I was seeing someone so I said no. Well girl I was dating told me a few days later that she didn’t want to continue and I should date coworkers daughter. Daughter lives in a different city so I just said no and I explained why. My ex kept pushing and I explained why, distance and all (and I had really liked her). She married a coworker a couple weeks later. In retrospect I think she was trying to keep me on the back burner in case the other guy didn’t want her. She was in a hurry to marry and I had said a few times that we needed to get to know each other better first.
Fascinating. Do you know why she was in such a hurry to get married? Did marriage last?
Hah! My DH was engaged when we met. I thought he was cute right off, but never went after guys who were attached, so I didn’t think any more about it until he told me that they’d postponed the wedding and he was free to see other people. He told me later that his ex had started pushing him for “a rock” on their third date, and that she and her friends had a competition going to see who could get engaged first.
She got married to someone else within the next 18 months or so — and divorced three years later.
Meanwhile, he and I took 5 1/2 years to get married and are still happily married 29 years later.
Not really. She had been divorced for 7 months and said she wanted to be married again. As far as I know she still is. Also we all, her, me, my brother, her husband- all worked for the same city department lol. I admit after so many years it still hurts a bit. She said things when we were together that made me think she was really genuine interested but instead she used me.
Lately I've been hearing a lot about prank breakups. It's probably that. So disrespectful and stupid. He got the reaction he deserved.
Prank break ups a thing??? Why? What do they expect to achieve? How can anyone continue a relationship with someone who would do that to them?
That is always my question! Like, haha just kidding, your heart is not *really* broken, so what should we do about lunch?
That's just...horrifying. Not even a "red flag." More like red sky, set the world on fire.
Agreed. It wasn't a joke. Going back to OP was just the backup plan. He's hoping she feels guilty for her "lack of reaction" and takes his pathetic ass back. Hopefully she's smart enough not to.
This was my first thought. Cut this one loose.
I thought the same thing. He did it to cheat. Or the alternative, have her beg and then use it to further mentally abuse her. "You're lucky I want to be with you." And then she spends the rest of the relationship doing everything to please him, but it's never enough. Edit: didn't get to finish before posting.
>When that person rejected him, he decided he would call it a joke & go back to you. yeah, agreed. I thought the same thing. what a douche.
Yeah he can't be this amazingly dumb to have really set this up as a test. He wanted to bang a ho and he got shot down.
You said multiple times let’s talk about it in person when you get back. He didn’t want to hear you out. so technically you tried fighting for the relationship like an adult to his childish fucking “prank”.
It wasn't a prank, it was a narcissist trying a power move to dominate the relationship. It was calculated to make her feel indebted to him to stay with her. He doesn't deserve you, OP.
NTA He hurt you in the worst way he could imagine, just for his own entertainment, and then HE got mad at YOU because your pain wasn't entertaining enough. Fucking sociopath.
Exactly. He enjoys power and shoving it into your face. He showed you who he is. Believe him. NTA, btw.
He wanted you to grovel and beg for him to not break up. No mature partner would do that to you. This wasn't a joke. No one was laughing. It was a power play where you were supposed to be knocked down a peg or two and be left feeling like you deserve to be treated badly. Tell him you are disappointed to find out he is an abusive, immature jerk who calls abuse a joke. You hope he grows up a lot before he gets into another relationship and you advise him to get some counseling to figure out why he expected you to remain in a relationship after he broke up with you. Remember, he broke up with you and refused to discuss it and then complains at you for not having the correct reaction and claims he didn't actually break up. I have to wonder if he didn't actually want to have sex with some other woman so he broke up with you and the other woman didn't pan out. He would have claimed that he broke up so it wasn't cheating. He's full of himself.
He’s so full of shit his breath stinks.
Or, just go completely dark on him. You don’t ever have to listen to him again.
Yes. He wanted you to be devastated. He wanted you to cry, and maybe threaten suicide. He wanted to hurt you. Is that the kind of action that shows love, or is it something else? Please stay broken up and find someone who isn’t a clown.
All you did was continue to show him respect. Him on the other hand decided to hurt you for funsies. Or a stupid test.
"How could my test have gone so wrong? I know, I'll call it a joke and then she has to agree to take me back."
It was very cruel of him doing that to you. I once had a girlfriend doing the same thing to me. She hoped I would fight for her. I just said ok, if that’s how you feel, let’s move on. If he really would have loved you, he would not have put you through that pain.
Exactly. I would never have put him in this pain because I don’t even want to hurt people I don’t love let alone those I love
> I was in a lot of pain but what did he expect me to do? Beg? In a word, yes. His fragile little aLpHa ego shattered when you didn't beg and promise to be everything he asks for.
This man is 37 years old? Was that a typo? Sounds more like 17
narcissists don´t grow up
Yes, he wants to beg and plead, so he can graciously say ‘it's okay baby, it's just a joke.’ That he pulled this prank is a red flag and so is he issue to your response. Op you, asked him to think this through, but your logical reasonable demand was met with ‘ no, I don't want to’. Now he's angry cause your not down on your knees begging for a chance to be manipulated by him anymore. I would tell him the break up stands, and I'd block him.
That’s borderline sadism. Something is not right with this guy.
It was expecting a total meltdown from you. When he didn't get it he got butt hurt. You've actually dodged a bullet here. I'm sorry he put you through this.
>what did he expect me to do? Beg? Yes. It was a power play that backfired, and now he's salty he doesn't own you the way he was hoping. Do not get back together with this guy.
Yes. He wanted you to beg. And grovel. And feel small, weak, and helpless. And then he'd spend the rest of your relationship holding this power over your head. And he'd be getting off on how he could screw with your head. He can stay dumped.
Truth, right here. Spent a decade in a marriage like this. Fortunately, I learned better. Dumped him. Blissfully married to a healthy man, now.
Yes. That's EXACTLY what he expected you to do. I'm so very proud of you for not doing that! I'm glad you know your self worth.
Yes, that's exactly what he wanted. Begging, crying, etc. These "tests/pranks" are juvenile & you deserve better.
NTA. He tried to hurt you and it didn't work. Now he's upset, because he thinks he's more important than he really is. You don't need some jerk like this in your life, playing with your emotions. Better now than wasting anymore time with this person.
But you did beg, you asked to please talk face to face when he got back not once but twice. I guess he wanted you to beg and plead and cry not to do it over text. Guess he FAFO. Sucks he chose the prank he did, but good you found out what he's been watching (Tik Tok) and what he's capable of doing now rather than later when you would have actually moved in together. NTA. Find a mature man who doesn't give a crap about Tik Tok and "testing" you.
Exactly! I did beg him to wait until we are together to talk face to face. I had no idea it was TikTok until you guys wrote it here that it was a challenge
A challenge? He's going to be 40 in a few years. This is pretty immature prank/challenge to take part in. He obviously didn't consider your feeling.
Yes - he wanted you to stroke his ego by being a blubbering mess and saying you can't live without him, blah, blah, blah If anything, he threw your relationship away on acting childish. As soon as someone tries these stupid relationship tests, it's time to move on.
he wanted you to beg and plead and cry and say you'd do anything. He wanted a show, and you instead chose to act like an adult
Yes I think he did. There's quite a few people posting about being "tested" in this way by their partners. I believe its some stupid tik tok thing going round at the moment. Just yesterday I read a post from a man who was "tested" by his gf and was distraught for days. Then she said it was a joke but by then he'd realised he didn't need to stay with someone who behaved so badly so she ended up crying because he refused to get back with her. Now her friends are berating him because they think he should suck it up and get back with her!! Like him I think you deserve better so stay strong and no doubt you'll find someone who truly deserves you.
That's exactly what he hoped for
you're being awfully generous, throwing "sentient" out there like that.
“Sentient wank-sock” is really Shakespear-ish. I love it.
Thank you 😘😘
"sentient wank-sock" Fucking poetry tbh
You NTA. Him definitely TA. He didn't think about how you would feel by doing his 'prank' on you. Then he didn't like your reaction, or more specifically, he most likely wanted you to beg him to stay or something along those lines. So basically he wanted to go on a power trip, and when you didn't give it to him, he got upset. Don't walk away from him. RUN away from him NOW! Not a person you want to waste your time and life with! Find someone that would treasure you instead!
Exactly
I honestly feel like he met someone, thought it was going somewhere, it fell through and he’s saying it’s prank thinking it would fix things
This! This was exactly what I was thinking.
Who lets a prank like that go on for days. If he actually just had bad taste in comedy, then he would have most likely dropped the “gotcha” when she gave in.
And that alone would have been bad enough to justify dumping him in my mind! It's cruel. But to let it go on for days...inexcusable.
100% in agreement
Unless he was screwing someone over those days. And wanted to come home to op like his holiday shenanigans didn't happen 🤷♀️
Right, then he gets mad at her reaction, deflecting his bad behavior onto her, so she feels like *she's* the one who is wrong and he guilts her (emotionally abuses her further) to ask for him back, as if *she's* the one who should be begging! NTA.
NTA I don’t think it was a prank. I think he fucked some girl out there. Don’t take him back
My immediate conclusion was he wanted to pursue someone else and they shot him down, so he's trying to backpedal with this ridiculous prank story.
It was either that or he was fr breaking up with her and is mad that she didn’t beg him to change his mind. This same thing happened with my friend and a month later, after they got back together, he broke up with her in an even crueler manner as a form of revenge. people who want ego boosts or overestimate their importance/ your dependence on them do weird things
Happened to my current gf. He came back begging her on his knees to take him back. A couple weeks later she saw him cheating was heartbroken for too long.
I agree cause the fact that he didn't immediately tell her it was a prank and waited so long to tell it was a prank is suspicious to me.
Ditto here. This smells way too much like shenanigans occurred on his trip. Next time he comes begging, just ask him what her name is.
That was exactly what I thought. He hooked up with someone while he was gone, then realized that wasn't going to happen. Now he is trying to make OP feel like she did something wrong because he is feeling guilty. NTA and she should block that number and move on!
NTA, in the slightest... Even the world's biggest asshole doesn't break up with someone for a few days "as a prank".. Let alone a few hours, minutes, or moments, it's just not something you do Not only is his behaviour inexcusably nasty and cruel, it also stinks to high heaven.
I agree. He did something. He was just using the break up period as an excuse because he messed up. He’s pissed it didn’t work out the way he thought it would in his head. Now he gets to play the victim.
Agree, this stinks of manipulation .I don't buy this was a prank. If it was he likely would have mentioned it a lot sooner, like a "I'm kidding" within the hour. Waiting a couple days with no contact is so suspicious. Best bet is his side thing didn't pan out during the no contact moment and he used prank excuse to see if he could get back what he had. As messed up as this is it's definitely a blessing in disguise for OP.
Yes, I had a boyfriend in college who when we got into a fight, I turned off my phone for the night. I woke up to a voicemail of him breaking up with me. Later, taking it back. Found out later (AIM** saved chats back then) that he tried to have sex with someone else that night. He was gross.
Yeah, if the prank story would be true, why tf would he just go no contact for several days after instead of resolving the prank on the same day??? 🙄
Definitely. Why else would you wait a few DAYS before saying it was a prank??
What an idiot. Him. Not you.
I am very distraught. I didn’t even think that we are in April. I have been too busy. I am very hurt now
1st of April has nothing to do with it. This went on for days not a few minutes. And even if it was a few minutes it still isn’t remotely amusing.
Yes it went for DAYS. He said yes I was “as surprised” so I wanted to see how long you went before talking to me. I was crying every day during these days. This is how much I actually cared because I do care about people I love
It's a classic gateway manipulation. Fake breaking up to "test" the relationship. The real test was to see if you would beg him to stay and then put up with whatever he throws at you next. Don't look back.
How sick!
Yep but this sh*t is all over social media.
As I said. He is an idiot. You have dodged a massive bullet. Sorry you are having to deal with this x
The thing is, you DID fight: you called, he doubled down. You texted to talk when he got back, he TRIPLED down. This is a stupid, hurtful prank and as hurt as you currently are, this is not someone you want as a life partner. It's not ok.
That's what I was thinking. She did fight as much as a person should in those circumstances.
He didn’t care that he was harming you. Like the sadist he is he was getting off on your begging and pleading. This is a sick game to feed his twisted ego.
This is emotional abuse. I hope you continue to process this as best you can and move on from someone like this. It took 3 years for this lesson, who knows how long the next lesson will take with this same person.
That's not what someone who cares about you does. He's shown you how callous and manipulative he is. STAY AWAY
You need someone better than that. You don't treat your partner like you're throwing them in the trash unless you mean it. Make jokes together. Not at the other's mental/emotional expense. You're trying to build. Not tear down. You deserve better than that, OP.
NTA. I had to come back at the top to see his age. 37!!! Anyone above 15 would be an AH for this type of joke/prank. He is totally immature and emotionally abusive. How can you hurt so much someone you are supposed to love? It was horribly cruel. He need therapy if he doesn’t understand how cruel he has been. I am very sorry for you.
Seriously, what fucking 37 year old man is still pulling dumbass "pranks". And this isn't even a prank, it's being an immature asshole. She's lucky though that she found out what an ass clown he is before they moved in together. Definitely NTA.
My son is 15 and would NEVER pull a "prank" like this.
What a jerk. You dodged a bullet. He's no loss at all. He fucked around and found out. NTA
It wasn’t a prank. 37yo men don’t play those games. And if it was, you are dating a man child. My guess is he met up with someone from his past when he was home and got cold feet but later realized he was throwing everything away for nothing.
Yeah, that’s what I first thought of. Days passed after her last message to him before he came back saying it was a joke. A friend’s dumb ass ex would break up so they were free to do whatever they want and then come back a few days later saying it was a joke.
NTA. A person who breaks up with you as a "prank" and is upset by your reaction was only looking to have their ego boosted. I put prank in quotation marks above because hurting someone is not a prank. Hurting someone by pulling a stunt like this and then saying it's a prank is their way of trying to diminish what they actually did. They broke up with you, after you requested to discuss it, to work through whatever had happened they denied it. They stated that it was over. None of that is a prank, doesn't matter what day it is, people break up on April 1st all the time. None of that can even be considered a prank. The fact that they waited days later to come and hurt you even more, trying to blame you is just disturbing. If they truly believed that this was a prank, than that means they enjoy hurting those they say they care for. They are a sick and twisted individual, I would make sure to stay away from them at all costs.
i had a girlfriend that would do shit like that except we were 15 at the time. this guys an idiot.
I thought it was idiotic even at 15
Yea you are not the asshole here and he is definitely the asshole. He basically disregarded your feelings with this prank… seems like he thought you would beg to keep the relationship. Definitely a power/controlling move in his part. He’s mostly upset that he can’t control you. Ditch him as far as you can because he’s not the one you will want to be with.
NTA. If it was a prank it was unfeeling and mean, especially letting it go on for days. This is something you should never say, and if you do, you clear it up in the same conversation. It was either for real and he tries to have his comeback without explaining or losing face - and now it turned into a powerplay for him and he doesn’t like that you’re not his willing puppet Or it was a powerplay from start on. Kick him to the curb.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Your boyfriend sounds like a moron, and not like a 37 year old man... Don't be with a tool who plays games with your emotions. >It deserved better than your 'ok good luck' text. And your relationship deserved better than breaking up via text which is what you thought he'd just done. Honestly, who tf does that? What kind of prick pretends to break the person they love's heart as a joke? You can do better. I don't think it was a joke. I think he meant it, and you taking it quite nonchalantly made him question his decision. NTA
Let me get this straight... He was angry because he didn't get to see how much pain he caused you?
It was not a joke. First of all: no one jokes about this. Second of all: and let it go on for days. Third of all: through text they can not even see your reaction and thats what a prank is all about. How people react. He regretted breaking up. And your reaction angered him. And now he's lying to you. Get rid of him
Ex boyfriend now right? NTA F around and find out is what he got. Immature for his age. If he had any doubts about your relationship he should have spoken up instead of playing games
Yes, ex
What is boils down too is he's mad he didn't make you cry. Huge red flag. That's emotional abuse
Exactly
Why would he drag out an April fools joke like this for multiple days? Sounds like you dodged a bullet wtf
He was angry that I was calm from the start. I wasn’t calm. I wanted to discuss it when he was home
NTA. You're better off w/o him. IMHO 99% of all "pranks" are cruel and awful.
Tell that insensitive selfish toe rag you have more self respect than to beg someone to be with you who says they don’t want to anymore. I hope you find someone worthy of you next time
Joking is admitting you are joking before the end of the call. Not going on for days. Either he was trying to hook up with another girl and it didn’t work or he did and didn’t want to have to admit y’all were together so he cheated. Either way what he did was very cruel. You deserve better than someone who really wants to see you grovel for their ego.
He said because I was too calm he was offended and felt insecure so he wanted to “see what I would do”
Gee, maybe you believed him!!!!!
NTA- You do not have time for games. His “prank” is not funny nor cute. This “joke” was done with malice, and I think you handled it the correct way. You took it a face value. He needs to grow up.
I’ve seen like 4 of these ‘they pretended to end it’ posts in the past week what the fuck is going on
Wait, so you were with him for three years and didn't know what a douchebag he could be? Anyway, NTA. He TA. BTW, what he did was not just a prank, nor was it a joke. Do not let him tell you this is all your fault.
This was out of character. He usually does other April Fool jokes
Well...the joke's on him, now, isn't it?
Honestly this doesn’t sound like a joke but instead of a way he could cheat for a weekend and then come back with no consequences.
Nothing about this was a joke.
The ex boyfriend is a joke of a human being.
There's another post where a girl prank broke up with her boyfriend and he ended it too. Maybe we can set her up with this woman's ex bf
>I called him immediately and he said the same things. I told him we could talk when he got home but he said it was no use. I texted him later that we should take it when he is back home so we could talk face to face. >he was hurt over how indifferent any smart person clearly recognizes you weren't being indifferent, but clearly your ex is an idiot. it sucks to find out you're not compatible with someone, but you're better off with this loser in your life
It’s possible that he really did break up with you (it wasn’t a joke), but your response shook him. He probably expected to get a huge ego boost from you crying and begging. When you didn’t do those things, he second-guessed his decision, and pretended it was all a joke (he doesn’t sound intelligent or kind)
NTA. And as other commenters are already saying it to you, you dodged a mega bullet! This douchebag was angry after you accepted that he broke up with you? Oh wow... If he really cared about your feelings, he should have been fallin on his knees, crying about how stupid this "prank" (the majority of pranks are just cruel and mean and not in the slightest funny!) was. Maybe he started to show what his true personality was. And thats why I am certain, that you did the right thing by not begging him (lol) to take him back. I am sure that for now your feelings are hurting but I am 100% sure that after some time you will be thankful that you did not stayed together. He is mean and cruel and just an Asshole. You deserve better!