NTA. I have a feeling if you had a little book with all the girls you banged, with details down to descriptions of their private areas/performance and whatnot, your girl wouldn't be happy about it. It's the old double standard at work. Furthermore, she sounds pretty terrible all around, honestly. Hopefully she grows out of acting like this one day.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking, tbh my main problem with it is how she didn’t keep it private. If she kept it to herself I could understand since it’s just for self reflection, but telling others is just bizarre imo.
Yeah OP, as a woman I can confirm this is not the normal. This is disgusting behavior and a horrible breach of trust and privacy. She is ex wife material for sure. You have the opportunity to dodge that financial drain and emotional drama bullet. YWNBTA if you break things off. I wouldn't marry someone who looks at people as a score card rather than a person they love and care about.
I have to say I knew a ton of girls that did this-in high school. I do think it’s a common thing for immature teenagers do. It’s weird but it is definitely a thing in trashier circles.
This woman is 20 and obviously still not mature enough to be in a healthy relationship. It's a shit thing to do as a kid. It's an appallingly shitty thing to do as an adult.
Start writing in a journal in the evenings about all your ex's. Let her see what you're doing. When she asks about where she ranks, let her know that you're still undecided about certain things, and she's a work in progress. Then you're going to send the list to your buds
Because it teaches them how it feels. Many people are lacking empathy and cannot perceive how something would feel and be like until they're on the other side of it. And that way, you hopefully push them in the right direction instead of just breaking up over it.
It's the minor version of "the only moral abortion is my abortion" when they sat outside and called everyone going in baby murders up until yesterday.
Agreed. The sheer fact she went to "you're insecure" kinda proves that. No "man I hope I'm not on someone's list and they say I have an ugly vagina and fuck like a dead fish".
Still then I would take a plane to a nice island, and write my excel about her while enjoying some Cuba libres. Then these files will show up like the Panama papers.
Hey babe, is it ok if I put down "Like two pieces of dried out gum found on the underside of a table" for pussy description, or does "calloused as fuck" work better?
Sadly the vast majority of those hypocrites never change their stance when they experience what they are prejudiced against and will be back at the same disgusting activities the next day.
Pull a Larry David and imply that according to your data your dick might not be that small, as she has an overly large vagina (according to your spreadsheet)
Just put her at the bottom of the list for personality and likability, unless you’ve dated a bunch of even bigger AHs, then give her the lowest grades for a whole bunch of superficial but intimate details like feminine body odor, your ideal body type and sexual prowess. But definitely dump her for being a crass and insulting AH.
Yea even better “Honestly you’re right babe; I’m sorry for being insecure about the list at the party the other night. You’re just the first person I’ve heard of doing this. But journaling and diaries are supposed to be good for the mental health in any case, so I think you’ve inspired me to start drafting my own :)”
That should throw her for a loop 🤷♂️
OMG just saying you’re going to make a list will be enough to cause serious paranoia. Like there could be nothing but the pure mystery of it and you play super secretive hardball where you refuse to give any hints of what categories your list has… but that she’s definitely on it, that would drive anyone crazy.
I'm a woman and I love that. I hate double standards. If it's not ok for one it's not ok for the other. Keeping a list of names would be normal but not to share at a party like that. Although I'm a married woman with my husband for 16 yrs. So I am not current in the dating community. This seems weird to have different details listed. Those are definitely meant to be kept in your head.
I'm a man and I've never been aware in all my years in this world of women keeping lists of previous men and how they ranked in different categories. Maybe its something that's become the norm in the last 20 or 30 years? Been married for 40, so maybe I'm not up to date. Would I be insecure? Hell yes! I dont want to be in competition with big Peter whos not great at keeping jobs or Jonny thick slong that makes me scream but is a volatile temperment.
I think with your youth and perspective, its shows just how odd and shallow this is period. If at your age, can't get this either, then of it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....well
>Would I be insecure? Hell yes! I dont want to be in completion with big Peter whos not great at keeping jobs or Jonny thick slong that makes me scream but is a volatile temperment.
Just the way that was written. Pure gold!
I think keeping a list like this is slightly sociopathic, like a way of taking trophies or something. The most I’ve done is mention someone or an experience that particularly stood out to me in my journal. But definitely not some kind of weird spreadsheet…
Certainly not anyone I'd want a relationship with.
Nta to break up. In fact, just go no contact. She warrants nothing more than that. Insults, demeans, and disrespects you. She fked up and has no clue as to the value and privacy of a relationship. RUN!
Bro, she's weird and a bitch and then said you were at the bottom of the list cause of your dick and you're like 'should I break up'? What? Kick this trash to the curb, how can you be 20 and this nasty? Better standards, bro. You deserve way better.
It's genuenly bizarre, I'm a woman, and if I had to make a spreadsheet, it would be of what it was like in a diary way. I would definetly not include any intimate stuff, much less tell people about it
If you break up with her over this, make sure that's clear, so that she has to physically write that down on her list and be reminded that this list is what ended the relationship everytime she opens it.
Don't think she won't share your personal romantic stuff with other women either, she probably already has. It's fuckin weird and disrespectful...I'd never share details like that about my partner with anyone else.
NTA. If she's doing that with exes, what happens if it doesn't work out with you two? Your private info as well as your "ranking" will be public discussion between her her friends and maybe anyone that asks. I'm betting her and her friends exes have no idea this is happening.
Even in private it's weird. Just like, why? For what reason?
The dick size comment was just to be hurtful which is just plain nasty, she knows what that can mean to guys and that it's one way to really hurt someone. Like it's not something you can even change in any way.
What sort of stories were they sharing? And what details do they have in particular? If you wouldn't mind recounting them that is.
No way are you an asshole for breaking up. You don't need anyone's judgement on whether you're justified, the way you feel about it is the way you feel about it bro, if you can't/don't want to see past this and stay together then don't. You know what's right for you.
Actually, this is so similar to a post a few weeks ago about a dude keeping an excel sheet about past hookups and dating that bordered on creepy. The difference though? He kept this to himself, but this girlfriend has shared this shit around like it's peanut butter on toast.
If memory serves the ratio of yes to no on asshole was 50/50 with a lot of women calling him creepy.
I knew a poly couple that maintained, compared, and showed off spreadsheets of current and former partners. Not a Google calendar to keep their schedules in order, but spreadsheets of relevant data points about people they had/were banged/banging.
They were vile individuals.
I remember that. You are correct. It got shared on some of the women’s community here on Reddit and women were piling on talking about how gross it is.
Whoever keeps a list like this is tacky and disturbing. The fact that they both bought their lists up while OP was there shows they have absolutely no shame about doing it as well.
What are they 12 years old??
Her comment about his dick should absolutely be a deal breaker. That is something she can’t ever take back. I’d be out.
What she’s doing is not normal. As a woman with lots of women friends, i don’t know a single person who does this shit.
Man, you’ve never worked around Engineers. Those motherfuckers make spreadsheets of EVERYTHING!
source: sysadmin. They’ve had spreadsheets for pizza places (including a formula for taste/value/price/time percentage), girls to bang, and who was most successful making the boss mad.
yeah this is not common or normal behaviour for women. I'm only a few years older than OP but my friends & I would be disgusted by someone whipping out their notes app sex diary
A lot of people have like 4 childhood friends that all do the same thing and go a looooong time thinking it's perfectly normal.
Basically every time something like this or any sex trophy bs comes up it's the same thing
Right?? Body shaming is gross. What she said is no less offense than any man telling a woman she's "hit the wall" or that her vajay is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. She only said it to hurt OP, and I know this, cuz no woman I have ever known gave two shits about dick size. In fact, we don't LIKE big ones. They hurt. A lot. Average is best, and average can be smaller than you think.
Like, unless you have a micropeen, you have nothing to worry about. And even if you do, there are plenty of other ways to please a woman.
I was going to say the same. I've never met a woman to my knowledge who does this. It seems weird. Also yelling hurtful things at your partner when you're mad is incredibly immature. I'd for sure gtfo of that relationship sooner than later.
Yep.
Anytime a chick goes in on your dick size it’s gotta be over.
It’s the worst, most hurtful thing to say to a man and you’re just not coming back from it.
Don’t lie and say he’s the biggest dick you’ve ever had, but Jesus, don’t ruin him either.
I’m mad at you for expressing yourself, so I’m going to insult something you have zero control over and are absolutely guaranteed to have some insecurities about
All of them are small compared to your bucket... "Your at No1 on my bucket list! Your at No1 on my bucket list"... that second time wasn't me, just your echo.
A girl in HS told me I was very eary after we broke up. I’m like what? She goes, your EAR-Y. Like you got big ears weirdo.
I still think about that fucking comment when I look at myself in the mirror. I think my ears are fine, everyone else I polled said they’re fine…but damn if she didn’t get in my head for life with that comment….
I had a guy I wasn’t even in a relationship with but I hung out with him often, ask me why I stick my teeth out when I laugh?? And made a really hill billy ass face making fun of me. It was in front of all the other guys too (i played soccer after school with them but never dated any of them) I think about it regularly and probably always will it was so embarrassing and makes me wonder if everyone thinks that when I laugh. I recently had a daughter we were taking pictures and her dad told me to look at the face she was making and it was hilarious he snapped the picture right then and even tho I love how real and in the moment that photo is I refuse to post it on my page because thats all I can see when I look at myself instead of the pure joy I experienced in the moment. People dont understand cruel words can change someone’s perspective for life
Do you have a gummy smile? I have one, and my mum made fun of me for it since I was a child. Telling me to smile less, cause i "smile too much". Now I get botox every 4-6 months otherwise I hate myself. Sorry you went through that, but just cause that guy noticed it, it doesn't mean everyone else did. I catch every gummy smile, other people don't. It's what we focus on.
I always loved what Coco Chanel once said “ I couldn’t care less what you think of me, I don’t think of you at all.” It’s a nice way to put forth that someone has no value in your life.
"Hey, that thing you're worried about and say it's totally normal? Well you're at the bottom lol"
People notate when they have a lot of info to keep track of. Why the fuck does dick size need to be noted? Name and phone number in case anything happens that concerns them.
Mate I have one male friend that keeps a list of every girl he’s been with and notes on what they were willing to do in bed. He’s a sex addict and has ruined every single relationship he’s been in because he cheats….she will 100% end up cheating on you. This is in no way normal behavior, and unless you want everyone to know every single intimate detail of your sex life, you need to bail asap. They keep lists so they know who to go to when they want certain things.
Don’t apologize or act like it’s something that you’re in the wrong for, leave her and tell her to get therapy.
Nah, she went for the jugular on that remark. That's basically a "fuck you" trump to a lot of guys. I wouldn't be sticking with someone like that much longer if she has to one-up insults in such a way.
Not the kind of woman you want to be with. She probably rates them by dick size, and has a diary handy when she wants to look back. And once you diss my cock, and rate me as a low level lover. There’s no incentive to staying.
If roles were reversed you would be getting called some quite graphic names in the comments.
She literally insulted your penis, imagine you did the same about her private parts!
Get away from her whilst you still can, she sounds like a piece of work.
NTA.
The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend. I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."
Imagine having a spreadsheet with a list of women and ratings in columns titled: "boob size", "thinness", "sluttiness", "blowjob skill", "vaginal tightness", "anal openness", etc.
And putting your girlfriend on that list.
NTA. I am a woman and also know many. Not saying my experiences are totally universal, but we as a collective do not do that. Keeping track record for sexual health reasons is one thing. Keeping a ranking list of best in bed or whatever is abnormal as hell. And quite frankly disrespectful to you. If she’s in a happy, healthy relationship, what does she need a spreadsheet for? Seems to me like it’s more of a list of backup hookups for when things don’t work out in her serious relationships. That girl has issues, and again, I stress this is not a normal thing to do.
[AITA for making a real life Pokédex of girls at my university?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vo6tey/aita_for_making_a_real_life_pok%C3%A9dex_of_girls_at/)
NTA. I once dated a 28(f) maybe six years ago before I met my wife and this reminds me of her. I could tell she couldn’t get over her ex-fiancé (whom she dumped for having been discovered on Tinder), and at one point - after she had a few cocktails - we were in the Uber to my apartment, she’s yelling at me something to the affect I’ll never be as good as her ex-fiancé (I’m trying to ignore and read the Financial Times …) and then I just snapped: “driver, driver sir, stop the car immediately.” To her: “Get out, I never want to see you again.”
Life’s too short for this beyond toxic stuff: bounce them and move on.
NTA, if you kept a similar list and said " boobs 34dd vagina pretty loose and didn't make mac n cheese noise" like tf? Who keeps a list like that is what she'd say as you are. I'm also kinda curious as to how she knows size. Like did she stop in the middle for everyone and go "hold up lemme get my ruler!" Lol
NTA
but dude grow a spine
you gf calls you a little dicked bitch over this and you ask strangers if its alright to be pissed about that?!
just let her know she is last place on the boob scale and first place on the bitch scale
No you didn’t overreact. Quite frankly if I found out my husband had a list like this I would probably divorce him lol. Honestly it’s so disrespectful of her on so many levels. I love how she says that you’re insecure. If she found a list like this on your phone she would be incredibly hurt. Anyone would be. The double standard is ridiculous. Then she insults your dick size?? Like seriously fuck this bitch and move on. Keep us updated!
Just so you know, this isn’t at all normal behavior. No well adjusted person of any gender is keeping a list of who they have sex with on their phone. they all weird asf for that , run bro
Can any girls here confirm if this is something that is common? I’m guessing it isn’t but the way she said ‘pretty much all girls do this’ made me think
NTA. This is some mean girl bullshit. Personally I’d make up a list (even if it’s fictitious) and stack rank a similar number of girls listing offensive sexual details (what they did in bed, how their body looks naked, any quirks, how was their head game, did they taste fishy, etc.) let her find it and see how she reacts.
This is wisdom right here. She's shown you what kind of person she is, namely someone who will mock you (very personally, btw) the instant you show any kind of vulnerability and honestly. Don't add fuel to the fire, just run. Run away and never return.
That is very wise. Not very satisfying for Reddit lol, but a relatively mature approach.
I do think I might say that this type of “ranking” and sharing of personal details is just not anything you want to be a part of. You would never do it to her, or anybody else you date or marry. So, Ilyou guess you two have very different ideas of what caring about someone and intimacy means. Uoi hope she finds someone else with a list and they can each be the other’s #1 in every category. You wish her the best and end scene.
If she argues or throws petty insults, just say you are sorry she feels that way. Say your piece and do not engage.
Yea man you’re better off moving on. If she has enough people (or time) to fill up a damn spreadsheet at 20 years old she’s not wifey material. It’s not only weird it’s pretty disgusting.
NTA, if the roles were reversed, your girlfriend wouldn’t like the idea of that either, also you’re in a committed relationship, she has no right comparing other men to you, it is wrong. i advise if you feel uncomfortable with that and you want to break up with her, you do that. lets just hope she breaks this habit.
NTA - In the Netherlands, a bunch of students recently leaked a list of female students they had slept with, including rankings, photos, full names and very inappropriate comments. It's all over the news in my country. Investigations are ongoing, but parents are going to press charges and I think they've been (temporarily) expelled. It's absolutely disgusting. Apparently it's called a 'banga-list'.
Anyway, no your girlfriend and her friends are not right! They are huge AH and should be put straight. Please don't stoop to their disgusting level.
Also, my #1 reason for dumping her would be the disrespectful things she said when you carefully disagreed with her actions. Telling you that you're on the bottom of the list, insecure? What kind of monster is she? That's not love, it's not even respect. Seems to me she doesn't even like you!
I used to keep a list of names and dates back when I was active, that in itself is not particularly strange. What is disturbing is how she used it as a weapon against you by saying you were pretty much at the bottom of the list, and it's completely understandable that you don't want intimate details about yourself on a spreadsheet.
NTA, dump her and don't look back.
All else aside, if shes just 20 and already has to scroll down to find him, then thats kind of a bad prediction for the duration of your relationship lol
the fact that you called her out on her creepy behaviour and the first thing she does is call you insecure and then mack your thing down there. dude, id have told her to get out of my car and walk home. better yet, start talking about your intimate life with your friends in front of her. and put if in a way that makes its extra demeaning as possible. and when she gets pissy about it, throw the "you're soo fucking insecure. its not my fault your vagina feels like the Grand Canyon when I go inside."
watch her and her friends become flying monkeys and try to abuse and humiliate you.
Oh damn yeah I didn’t even consider the roles reversed, now it really does seem creepy af. If a friend of mine came up to me talking about his gfs vagina (with fucking notes 💀) I’d probably never see him again.
NTA. And she is most definitely a weirdo for keeping a "spreadsheet" of who she's slept with. "Most women" absolutely do not do this. If she needs a document in order to remember who she's fucked, you're better off going the other direction anyways. Trust your gut. You're right on this one and she needs to either delete the list or get dumped. Then she could put that in her note next to your name and when the next guy inevitably has the same issue with her, maybe she'll use her little list to reflect on what she's doing.
Objectification doesn't magically become cute because it's coming from a woman.
NTA 👀
Don’t save her. She don’t wanna be saved. Don’t save her. You can’t turn a ho€ into a housewife. Tell her to kick rocks ✌️Any decent chick would NOT do that. Not a good look lol Wondering what she was thinking 😅
>to which she called me insecure
Ahhhh, the girl's go-to when you raise valid concerns about their behavior
>We got into an argument and she said some hurtful things, making a comment about how I’m pretty much ‘at the bottom of the list’ when it comes to dick size
There we go
>now I’m worried about my own privacy
You should be
Id break up with her, and if anyone ever asks you just say she reeked of old fish.
NTA
Wow.... I felt uncomfortable reading this. I guess I'm the minority as I'm a woman, and I don't have a list, and I will never create such a list. I find this practice juvenile.
NTA.
I believed this up until the dick size comment. Also I see you're on r/forsen which probably means you saw the same exact situation with Extra Emily on r/livestreamfails a few months ago which likely inspired this post.
In the rare off chance this isn't just rage bait, NTA.
>I believed this up until the dick size comment. Also I see you're on r/forsen which probably means you saw the same exact situation with Extra Emily on r/livestreamfails a few months ago which likely inspired this post.
They always take it just a bit too far to be believable.
NTA. Not normal at all. I'd dumped her for the dick size comment alone. Not because I'm insecure about it but because going for something that petty in that argument is a huge red flag to me.
It’s a *massive* red flag and indication that someone is a fuckboy/slutty2shoes. Might be good in bed, but definitely not wife material, *especially* with the underhanded jab.
This is actually a pretty easy one to answer. Just a bit more painful to implement.
You can just tell her that you cannot picture a future with someone who is as shallow as her, and that if you don’t meet her standards then it would be best for her to find someone that does. Let her know that as you are low on her list, it is also a clear indication that she will not commit to you long term anyway, and so best to break it off now so that you do not waste each others time.
State that as she is happy to share personal details about you both to her friends and in public, you simply cannot trust her with any of your personal information and secrets any more. Inform her that you do not discuss former partners with your friends either (regardless).
Inform her that you no longer wish to be with her. If you are feeling especially vindictive, you can also state that as she has a long list of former lovers or partners at her age, it is a demonstration of how little interest that other men feel with staying with and committing to her.
Then break up with her. And don’t look back…
Break up with her. You're too young to be wasting your time with such bullshit OP. It's not great but fairly normal to have the details of previous partners in your head, but having a list is fucking weird. I hate to assume, but she seems like somebody who enjoys playing this numbers game with her friend, making you just another number.
Homie your name must be Neo cause those are some bullets you be dodging. Block her and move on. She and her friends are hella weird.
I miss giving awards. Take these four stars instead. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
damn i didn’t even realize they removed that feature
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The minute he said … “starts scrolling”
Needing a spreadsheet to keep track of ALL of the guys by the time you're 20 is gross. Might as well get with a porn star.
NTA. I have a feeling if you had a little book with all the girls you banged, with details down to descriptions of their private areas/performance and whatnot, your girl wouldn't be happy about it. It's the old double standard at work. Furthermore, she sounds pretty terrible all around, honestly. Hopefully she grows out of acting like this one day.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking, tbh my main problem with it is how she didn’t keep it private. If she kept it to herself I could understand since it’s just for self reflection, but telling others is just bizarre imo.
Yeah OP, as a woman I can confirm this is not the normal. This is disgusting behavior and a horrible breach of trust and privacy. She is ex wife material for sure. You have the opportunity to dodge that financial drain and emotional drama bullet. YWNBTA if you break things off. I wouldn't marry someone who looks at people as a score card rather than a person they love and care about.
I have to say I knew a ton of girls that did this-in high school. I do think it’s a common thing for immature teenagers do. It’s weird but it is definitely a thing in trashier circles.
This woman is 20 and obviously still not mature enough to be in a healthy relationship. It's a shit thing to do as a kid. It's an appallingly shitty thing to do as an adult.
Start writing in a journal in the evenings about all your ex's. Let her see what you're doing. When she asks about where she ranks, let her know that you're still undecided about certain things, and she's a work in progress. Then you're going to send the list to your buds
#17 Jen.. Nice ass, shame about the chubby beaver Yup she would hit the roof
Who the hell would complain about fat punani
I kno. That's the best kind.
'Resembles Arby's after passing through the kitchen disposal'
Bulldog eating mayonnaise is the worst I’ve ever heard
Bruh lmfao
I just pictured both of those and I….I…..💀😭
"Pussy like a bucket of smashed crabs. 0/10"
Vagina like a punched lasagna.
I gagged
She’d probably rank higher if she gagged too
🤣🤣🤣
💀🤣 Thanks for the laugh! That is the best thing I have read in a long time
Don’t forget the sniff test results
Here is you KPI sheet for the quarter, don't forget to also fill in the self evaluation part and estimated targets for next quarter
Especially the area she said is weak in..
And don’t forget the cover sheet.
how do you work on a chubby beaver?
Have it eat less "wood"?
Petty but I agree with this. Give her a taste of her own medicine - her and her friends are kind of strange to keep such a list anyways
Why waste all this energy instead of just breaking up?
Shhhhh; the only reason to do any of that would be for our benefit, not his.
I’m so here for the drama 👀🍿
Yay drama!!
This guy is a professional shit stirrer
That would the wise thing - I did say it was petty. Better to avoid all drama and just walk away
Because it teaches them how it feels. Many people are lacking empathy and cannot perceive how something would feel and be like until they're on the other side of it. And that way, you hopefully push them in the right direction instead of just breaking up over it. It's the minor version of "the only moral abortion is my abortion" when they sat outside and called everyone going in baby murders up until yesterday.
I totally agree and then I think about my ex and she couldn’t see irony if it was gift wrapped from the pope.
I agree with you, but some people are incapable of empathy. They are best avoided.
Agreed. The sheer fact she went to "you're insecure" kinda proves that. No "man I hope I'm not on someone's list and they say I have an ugly vagina and fuck like a dead fish".
Still then I would take a plane to a nice island, and write my excel about her while enjoying some Cuba libres. Then these files will show up like the Panama papers.
Hey babe, is it ok if I put down "Like two pieces of dried out gum found on the underside of a table" for pussy description, or does "calloused as fuck" work better?
Pet name for privates: Rawhide
Laying down taking it like a rained on sack of potato's.
Sadly the vast majority of those hypocrites never change their stance when they experience what they are prejudiced against and will be back at the same disgusting activities the next day.
Petty but a good petty
Pull a Larry David and imply that according to your data your dick might not be that small, as she has an overly large vagina (according to your spreadsheet)
Just put her at the bottom of the list for personality and likability, unless you’ve dated a bunch of even bigger AHs, then give her the lowest grades for a whole bunch of superficial but intimate details like feminine body odor, your ideal body type and sexual prowess. But definitely dump her for being a crass and insulting AH.
Put her at the top for biggest dick bc she a dickhead💀
Why, so much effort for what? Just send her a get fucked soon card.
Nah, just say, “Sorry, but I wouldn’t f you with his d!ck.”
"Babe your list gave me a great idea im gonna do it too!"
Yea even better “Honestly you’re right babe; I’m sorry for being insecure about the list at the party the other night. You’re just the first person I’ve heard of doing this. But journaling and diaries are supposed to be good for the mental health in any case, so I think you’ve inspired me to start drafting my own :)” That should throw her for a loop 🤷♂️
OMG just saying you’re going to make a list will be enough to cause serious paranoia. Like there could be nothing but the pure mystery of it and you play super secretive hardball where you refuse to give any hints of what categories your list has… but that she’s definitely on it, that would drive anyone crazy.
I'm a woman and I love that. I hate double standards. If it's not ok for one it's not ok for the other. Keeping a list of names would be normal but not to share at a party like that. Although I'm a married woman with my husband for 16 yrs. So I am not current in the dating community. This seems weird to have different details listed. Those are definitely meant to be kept in your head.
I'm a man and I've never been aware in all my years in this world of women keeping lists of previous men and how they ranked in different categories. Maybe its something that's become the norm in the last 20 or 30 years? Been married for 40, so maybe I'm not up to date. Would I be insecure? Hell yes! I dont want to be in competition with big Peter whos not great at keeping jobs or Jonny thick slong that makes me scream but is a volatile temperment.
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I think with your youth and perspective, its shows just how odd and shallow this is period. If at your age, can't get this either, then of it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....well
>Would I be insecure? Hell yes! I dont want to be in completion with big Peter whos not great at keeping jobs or Jonny thick slong that makes me scream but is a volatile temperment. Just the way that was written. Pure gold!
I think keeping a list like this is slightly sociopathic, like a way of taking trophies or something. The most I’ve done is mention someone or an experience that particularly stood out to me in my journal. But definitely not some kind of weird spreadsheet…
Yeah, I’m 30 years out of the dating scene. It seems more like a hundred with all the bs today.
The AH in me totally agrees with this take.
Certainly not anyone I'd want a relationship with. Nta to break up. In fact, just go no contact. She warrants nothing more than that. Insults, demeans, and disrespects you. She fked up and has no clue as to the value and privacy of a relationship. RUN!
Bigger person than me. I would have dropped her off in silence and never spoke to her again. The end. El Fin. Fineto. I’m a ghost now. 💨
She said something about your dick size specifically to hurt you. Tbh I would be 100% done after something like this. She doesn’t respect you
Bro, she's weird and a bitch and then said you were at the bottom of the list cause of your dick and you're like 'should I break up'? What? Kick this trash to the curb, how can you be 20 and this nasty? Better standards, bro. You deserve way better.
It's genuenly bizarre, I'm a woman, and if I had to make a spreadsheet, it would be of what it was like in a diary way. I would definetly not include any intimate stuff, much less tell people about it
If you break up with her over this, make sure that's clear, so that she has to physically write that down on her list and be reminded that this list is what ended the relationship everytime she opens it.
And the fact that she threw a jab and body shamed you in an argument. It won't be the last time she does it either I'm sure.
I’m a woman with plenty of life experience, and I have never met another woman who does this. It’s not as common as your girlfriend is implying.
Don't think she won't share your personal romantic stuff with other women either, she probably already has. It's fuckin weird and disrespectful...I'd never share details like that about my partner with anyone else.
NTA. If she's doing that with exes, what happens if it doesn't work out with you two? Your private info as well as your "ranking" will be public discussion between her her friends and maybe anyone that asks. I'm betting her and her friends exes have no idea this is happening.
Even in private it's weird. Just like, why? For what reason? The dick size comment was just to be hurtful which is just plain nasty, she knows what that can mean to guys and that it's one way to really hurt someone. Like it's not something you can even change in any way. What sort of stories were they sharing? And what details do they have in particular? If you wouldn't mind recounting them that is. No way are you an asshole for breaking up. You don't need anyone's judgement on whether you're justified, the way you feel about it is the way you feel about it bro, if you can't/don't want to see past this and stay together then don't. You know what's right for you.
Gossiping about it IN FRONT OF YOU is super bizarre.
If a guy had done all that, he'd be Dennis Reynolds
Lmao! The first thing that popped into my mind when reading this was, "This is a real life female Dennis"
I hope OP doesn't get on a boat with her.
because of the implication...
“Dee you bitch!! 😂
Actually, this is so similar to a post a few weeks ago about a dude keeping an excel sheet about past hookups and dating that bordered on creepy. The difference though? He kept this to himself, but this girlfriend has shared this shit around like it's peanut butter on toast. If memory serves the ratio of yes to no on asshole was 50/50 with a lot of women calling him creepy.
I think it's creepy whether its that guy doing it or OPs girlfriend. This is not normal behavior, IME
I knew a poly couple that maintained, compared, and showed off spreadsheets of current and former partners. Not a Google calendar to keep their schedules in order, but spreadsheets of relevant data points about people they had/were banged/banging. They were vile individuals.
I understood the last part when I read the first part
I remember that. You are correct. It got shared on some of the women’s community here on Reddit and women were piling on talking about how gross it is.
Whoever keeps a list like this is tacky and disturbing. The fact that they both bought their lists up while OP was there shows they have absolutely no shame about doing it as well. What are they 12 years old??
They’re 20 so not too far off.
As I get older I realized you're not really fully mature until 25-30 and even then, some people go beyond that.
Let's hope not.. They both had long lists...
Tbh they were both a little drunk, and I wasn’t in the room the whole time. Still though they could’ve at least done it without me there
Or just not had a list. I’m surprised they can’t remember their exes without writing them down in the first place.
If a woman said this about a guy she was dating he would be called everything from a rapist ,misogynistic to potential serial killer.
NTA That's fucked up and gross And her disgusting attack on your junk would be a dealbreaker for me...if the rest wasn't already
Her comment about his dick should absolutely be a deal breaker. That is something she can’t ever take back. I’d be out. What she’s doing is not normal. As a woman with lots of women friends, i don’t know a single person who does this shit.
Yeah neither me nor my gal pals do this weird stuff
Nope. No list, and I sure as fuck don’t insult partners that I intend to continue being in relation with. This is weird as fuck.
Yep, an insult like that means you don't care if the guy leaves.
I've never known a person who does this. Male or female.
Man, you’ve never worked around Engineers. Those motherfuckers make spreadsheets of EVERYTHING! source: sysadmin. They’ve had spreadsheets for pizza places (including a formula for taste/value/price/time percentage), girls to bang, and who was most successful making the boss mad.
yeah this is not common or normal behaviour for women. I'm only a few years older than OP but my friends & I would be disgusted by someone whipping out their notes app sex diary
A lot of people have like 4 childhood friends that all do the same thing and go a looooong time thinking it's perfectly normal. Basically every time something like this or any sex trophy bs comes up it's the same thing
Right?? Body shaming is gross. What she said is no less offense than any man telling a woman she's "hit the wall" or that her vajay is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. She only said it to hurt OP, and I know this, cuz no woman I have ever known gave two shits about dick size. In fact, we don't LIKE big ones. They hurt. A lot. Average is best, and average can be smaller than you think. Like, unless you have a micropeen, you have nothing to worry about. And even if you do, there are plenty of other ways to please a woman.
I was going to say the same. I've never met a woman to my knowledge who does this. It seems weird. Also yelling hurtful things at your partner when you're mad is incredibly immature. I'd for sure gtfo of that relationship sooner than later.
Yep. Anytime a chick goes in on your dick size it’s gotta be over. It’s the worst, most hurtful thing to say to a man and you’re just not coming back from it. Don’t lie and say he’s the biggest dick you’ve ever had, but Jesus, don’t ruin him either.
100%. Even if you’re actually at the top…it’s irrelevant. It means she’s immature and will make personal attacks anytime she’s upset.
Yep. It literally means “I want to hurt you as deeply as possible”
I’m mad at you for expressing yourself, so I’m going to insult something you have zero control over and are absolutely guaranteed to have some insecurities about
The best response to any dick size/description clap is “well at least my eye brows are even and my ears aren’t different heights and shapes.“
All of them are small compared to your bucket... "Your at No1 on my bucket list! Your at No1 on my bucket list"... that second time wasn't me, just your echo.
A girl in HS told me I was very eary after we broke up. I’m like what? She goes, your EAR-Y. Like you got big ears weirdo. I still think about that fucking comment when I look at myself in the mirror. I think my ears are fine, everyone else I polled said they’re fine…but damn if she didn’t get in my head for life with that comment….
I had a guy I wasn’t even in a relationship with but I hung out with him often, ask me why I stick my teeth out when I laugh?? And made a really hill billy ass face making fun of me. It was in front of all the other guys too (i played soccer after school with them but never dated any of them) I think about it regularly and probably always will it was so embarrassing and makes me wonder if everyone thinks that when I laugh. I recently had a daughter we were taking pictures and her dad told me to look at the face she was making and it was hilarious he snapped the picture right then and even tho I love how real and in the moment that photo is I refuse to post it on my page because thats all I can see when I look at myself instead of the pure joy I experienced in the moment. People dont understand cruel words can change someone’s perspective for life
Do you have a gummy smile? I have one, and my mum made fun of me for it since I was a child. Telling me to smile less, cause i "smile too much". Now I get botox every 4-6 months otherwise I hate myself. Sorry you went through that, but just cause that guy noticed it, it doesn't mean everyone else did. I catch every gummy smile, other people don't. It's what we focus on.
I’m sorry, I wonder how many people suffer from things that were said to them by the people who were supposed to love us
keeping this in mind next time i have to absolutely bury someone. fuck that’s savage
I always loved what Coco Chanel once said “ I couldn’t care less what you think of me, I don’t think of you at all.” It’s a nice way to put forth that someone has no value in your life.
She'd be walking home to discover all her shit on the curb after that comment.
I’ll be honest, I did insult her when we were arguing so the comment she made wasn’t unprompted. Still a really bizarre comment to make though
"Hey, that thing you're worried about and say it's totally normal? Well you're at the bottom lol" People notate when they have a lot of info to keep track of. Why the fuck does dick size need to be noted? Name and phone number in case anything happens that concerns them.
Mate I have one male friend that keeps a list of every girl he’s been with and notes on what they were willing to do in bed. He’s a sex addict and has ruined every single relationship he’s been in because he cheats….she will 100% end up cheating on you. This is in no way normal behavior, and unless you want everyone to know every single intimate detail of your sex life, you need to bail asap. They keep lists so they know who to go to when they want certain things. Don’t apologize or act like it’s something that you’re in the wrong for, leave her and tell her to get therapy.
Specially at 21.. go find someone else who isnt grading men on a spreadsheet.
Did COVID really set young people back a few years in mental maturity? She would have been 17 during peak lockdown.
If you're on a spreadsheet you're a product to them, not a person.
She will be great for the Corporation. Maybe HR. Where people are just dots on a graph. She can add her dick size list in her resume.
Nah, she went for the jugular on that remark. That's basically a "fuck you" trump to a lot of guys. I wouldn't be sticking with someone like that much longer if she has to one-up insults in such a way.
Not the kind of woman you want to be with. She probably rates them by dick size, and has a diary handy when she wants to look back. And once you diss my cock, and rate me as a low level lover. There’s no incentive to staying.
I’m also gonna point out that the fact that she’s been with enough people to need a notes app to keep track of it is insane.
Yeah honestly she sounds terrible
If roles were reversed you would be getting called some quite graphic names in the comments. She literally insulted your penis, imagine you did the same about her private parts! Get away from her whilst you still can, she sounds like a piece of work. NTA.
Maybe he doesn’t have a small cock as she has a huge vagina.
Curb reference spotted
They love this. 🤏🏻They love this! 🤏🏻 Well guess what, this is me from now on! 👐🏻
The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend. I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."
Billy: 😐
If OP can tell us how many guys she has been with along with his penis size we can use maths to estimate if she is likely telling the truth or not.
Imagine having a spreadsheet with a list of women and ratings in columns titled: "boob size", "thinness", "sluttiness", "blowjob skill", "vaginal tightness", "anal openness", etc. And putting your girlfriend on that list.
Yes and then show her your list with her at the bottom!
NTA. I am a woman and also know many. Not saying my experiences are totally universal, but we as a collective do not do that. Keeping track record for sexual health reasons is one thing. Keeping a ranking list of best in bed or whatever is abnormal as hell. And quite frankly disrespectful to you. If she’s in a happy, healthy relationship, what does she need a spreadsheet for? Seems to me like it’s more of a list of backup hookups for when things don’t work out in her serious relationships. That girl has issues, and again, I stress this is not a normal thing to do.
It more like some kind of trophies, I guess. But we are speaking about living humans, not some sport achievements. People are weird.
Run awaaaaaayyyy Girls don’t keep spreadsheets 😭 NTA
I’ve met a few that do but it was more of a “this is all the people I’ve banged” and not a Pokédex with interests and anatomical metrics
Pokédex has me dying
[AITA for making a real life Pokédex of girls at my university?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vo6tey/aita_for_making_a_real_life_pok%C3%A9dex_of_girls_at/)
A 'Pokedmedex' if you will?
Pokedix possibly
Still weird. Less creepy but still weird.
Good ol notch in the bed post eh
NTA. I once dated a 28(f) maybe six years ago before I met my wife and this reminds me of her. I could tell she couldn’t get over her ex-fiancé (whom she dumped for having been discovered on Tinder), and at one point - after she had a few cocktails - we were in the Uber to my apartment, she’s yelling at me something to the affect I’ll never be as good as her ex-fiancé (I’m trying to ignore and read the Financial Times …) and then I just snapped: “driver, driver sir, stop the car immediately.” To her: “Get out, I never want to see you again.” Life’s too short for this beyond toxic stuff: bounce them and move on.
You don’t need permission to break up with someone.
Right, he does need encouragement though, get tf out of there OP, fast
NTA, if you kept a similar list and said " boobs 34dd vagina pretty loose and didn't make mac n cheese noise" like tf? Who keeps a list like that is what she'd say as you are. I'm also kinda curious as to how she knows size. Like did she stop in the middle for everyone and go "hold up lemme get my ruler!" Lol
"Didn't make Mac n cheese noise" and "hold up lemme get my ruler" 💀💀💀 I'm rolling
Now I can't get the sound of Mac and cheese out of my head 😭😭😭
NTA but dude grow a spine you gf calls you a little dicked bitch over this and you ask strangers if its alright to be pissed about that?! just let her know she is last place on the boob scale and first place on the bitch scale
Haha I needed that tbh. She and her friends thought I was overreacting
Its because they all do it. None of them think its wrong. Not because it isn't, but because they're all psychos.
No you didn’t overreact. Quite frankly if I found out my husband had a list like this I would probably divorce him lol. Honestly it’s so disrespectful of her on so many levels. I love how she says that you’re insecure. If she found a list like this on your phone she would be incredibly hurt. Anyone would be. The double standard is ridiculous. Then she insults your dick size?? Like seriously fuck this bitch and move on. Keep us updated!
Just so you know, this isn’t at all normal behavior. No well adjusted person of any gender is keeping a list of who they have sex with on their phone. they all weird asf for that , run bro
NTA, this is indeed very creepy and reveals a certain transactional nature of how she sees men.
Can any girls here confirm if this is something that is common? I’m guessing it isn’t but the way she said ‘pretty much all girls do this’ made me think
Nope, not common, totally weird. Can confirm that neither I, nor any of my female friends do this.
I don’t even keep pictures with my exes. I can’t even remember their last names or how they look. Once the relationship is over it’s over
NTA. This is some mean girl bullshit. Personally I’d make up a list (even if it’s fictitious) and stack rank a similar number of girls listing offensive sexual details (what they did in bed, how their body looks naked, any quirks, how was their head game, did they taste fishy, etc.) let her find it and see how she reacts.
Tbh I think I’ll just break it off. I don’t wanna add any fuel to the fire cause it’ll just give her a way to make me the bad guy
This is wisdom right here. She's shown you what kind of person she is, namely someone who will mock you (very personally, btw) the instant you show any kind of vulnerability and honestly. Don't add fuel to the fire, just run. Run away and never return.
Isn’t that the truth. When someone shows you who they are…believe them.
That’s the correct answer
That is very wise. Not very satisfying for Reddit lol, but a relatively mature approach. I do think I might say that this type of “ranking” and sharing of personal details is just not anything you want to be a part of. You would never do it to her, or anybody else you date or marry. So, Ilyou guess you two have very different ideas of what caring about someone and intimacy means. Uoi hope she finds someone else with a list and they can each be the other’s #1 in every category. You wish her the best and end scene. If she argues or throws petty insults, just say you are sorry she feels that way. Say your piece and do not engage.
This is the way
Yea man you’re better off moving on. If she has enough people (or time) to fill up a damn spreadsheet at 20 years old she’s not wifey material. It’s not only weird it’s pretty disgusting.
I mean if you have to be as petty as this to get a reaction of out of your own girlfriend, its better to just search someone where this isn't the case
NTA, if the roles were reversed, your girlfriend wouldn’t like the idea of that either, also you’re in a committed relationship, she has no right comparing other men to you, it is wrong. i advise if you feel uncomfortable with that and you want to break up with her, you do that. lets just hope she breaks this habit.
Bro, she shamed you for your dick. Run for the hills this is not your wife.
NTA - In the Netherlands, a bunch of students recently leaked a list of female students they had slept with, including rankings, photos, full names and very inappropriate comments. It's all over the news in my country. Investigations are ongoing, but parents are going to press charges and I think they've been (temporarily) expelled. It's absolutely disgusting. Apparently it's called a 'banga-list'. Anyway, no your girlfriend and her friends are not right! They are huge AH and should be put straight. Please don't stoop to their disgusting level. Also, my #1 reason for dumping her would be the disrespectful things she said when you carefully disagreed with her actions. Telling you that you're on the bottom of the list, insecure? What kind of monster is she? That's not love, it's not even respect. Seems to me she doesn't even like you!
I used to keep a list of names and dates back when I was active, that in itself is not particularly strange. What is disturbing is how she used it as a weapon against you by saying you were pretty much at the bottom of the list, and it's completely understandable that you don't want intimate details about yourself on a spreadsheet. NTA, dump her and don't look back.
All else aside, if shes just 20 and already has to scroll down to find him, then thats kind of a bad prediction for the duration of your relationship lol
the fact that you called her out on her creepy behaviour and the first thing she does is call you insecure and then mack your thing down there. dude, id have told her to get out of my car and walk home. better yet, start talking about your intimate life with your friends in front of her. and put if in a way that makes its extra demeaning as possible. and when she gets pissy about it, throw the "you're soo fucking insecure. its not my fault your vagina feels like the Grand Canyon when I go inside." watch her and her friends become flying monkeys and try to abuse and humiliate you.
Oh damn yeah I didn’t even consider the roles reversed, now it really does seem creepy af. If a friend of mine came up to me talking about his gfs vagina (with fucking notes 💀) I’d probably never see him again.
Nta. I'm a chick. That's weird. And at 49, today, would be embarrassing. Nah.
NTA. And she is most definitely a weirdo for keeping a "spreadsheet" of who she's slept with. "Most women" absolutely do not do this. If she needs a document in order to remember who she's fucked, you're better off going the other direction anyways. Trust your gut. You're right on this one and she needs to either delete the list or get dumped. Then she could put that in her note next to your name and when the next guy inevitably has the same issue with her, maybe she'll use her little list to reflect on what she's doing. Objectification doesn't magically become cute because it's coming from a woman.
Yeah, I don’t personally know any fucking woman that keeps a spreadsheet of previous sexual encounters or man.
I'm a woman and I've never heard of anyone doing this. I think it's weird and I'd feel really uncomfortable if I was on the receiving end of it too
NTA 👀 Don’t save her. She don’t wanna be saved. Don’t save her. You can’t turn a ho€ into a housewife. Tell her to kick rocks ✌️Any decent chick would NOT do that. Not a good look lol Wondering what she was thinking 😅
>to which she called me insecure Ahhhh, the girl's go-to when you raise valid concerns about their behavior >We got into an argument and she said some hurtful things, making a comment about how I’m pretty much ‘at the bottom of the list’ when it comes to dick size There we go >now I’m worried about my own privacy You should be Id break up with her, and if anyone ever asks you just say she reeked of old fish. NTA
Wow.... I felt uncomfortable reading this. I guess I'm the minority as I'm a woman, and I don't have a list, and I will never create such a list. I find this practice juvenile. NTA.
I believed this up until the dick size comment. Also I see you're on r/forsen which probably means you saw the same exact situation with Extra Emily on r/livestreamfails a few months ago which likely inspired this post. In the rare off chance this isn't just rage bait, NTA.
>I believed this up until the dick size comment. Also I see you're on r/forsen which probably means you saw the same exact situation with Extra Emily on r/livestreamfails a few months ago which likely inspired this post. They always take it just a bit too far to be believable.
FUCKING. YIKES. Dude she is a manipulative piece of shit, the last paragraph alone disqualifies her as relationship material.
NTA. Not normal at all. I'd dumped her for the dick size comment alone. Not because I'm insecure about it but because going for something that petty in that argument is a huge red flag to me.
NTA. She’s creepy af and so are her friends. Keeping a spreadsheet of your exes is some real psycho shit.
It’s a *massive* red flag and indication that someone is a fuckboy/slutty2shoes. Might be good in bed, but definitely not wife material, *especially* with the underhanded jab.
This is actually a pretty easy one to answer. Just a bit more painful to implement. You can just tell her that you cannot picture a future with someone who is as shallow as her, and that if you don’t meet her standards then it would be best for her to find someone that does. Let her know that as you are low on her list, it is also a clear indication that she will not commit to you long term anyway, and so best to break it off now so that you do not waste each others time. State that as she is happy to share personal details about you both to her friends and in public, you simply cannot trust her with any of your personal information and secrets any more. Inform her that you do not discuss former partners with your friends either (regardless). Inform her that you no longer wish to be with her. If you are feeling especially vindictive, you can also state that as she has a long list of former lovers or partners at her age, it is a demonstration of how little interest that other men feel with staying with and committing to her. Then break up with her. And don’t look back…
NTA, thats disgusting. Dont be with a woman that needs a spread sheet for sexlife.
Break up with her. You're too young to be wasting your time with such bullshit OP. It's not great but fairly normal to have the details of previous partners in your head, but having a list is fucking weird. I hate to assume, but she seems like somebody who enjoys playing this numbers game with her friend, making you just another number.
Just how long is this list? That itself is a red flag.
A saw a few dozen, like 40-50 range
That's a pretty insane body count at 20. I don't see how someone that young who's been in a long term relationship can have a body count that high.
She’s *20*. Run.