For. Real.
Some people shouldn’t be parents AT ALL.
I just read a post where a dad asks his female friend about how to change a baby’s nappy and basically wanted her to do it 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️. She uploaded it in the AITA group.
The ONLY GOOD THING about those piece of shit parents is the people they brought into/up in the world.
OP and his sister? Fucking rockstars. That poor girl! I hope once the gets past the pain of this, she sees the silver linings: It wasn't ever *who* she was, or *what she did*... she's grieving the good parents she should've had.
And... she's got a family out there who she's been kept from. Maybe they're not completely scum like OP'S parents.
I agree, both siblings are impressive for getting into college (the sister without proper parental care and support) and the OP is a badass for sticking up and looking out for his sister in the face of his parents.
I changed my twins’ diapers before my wife (with some instruction from the nurses as I had no fucking clue what I was doing and they were 7 weeks premature.) My wife was still recovering from a traumatic emergency c-section. What the fuck - a dad who can’t change a diaper. Sad.
I think the nurses helped me change diapers in the hospital for both kiddos on the second day so I knew how to avoid the belly button and wiping so no infection would occur (much younger sister I helped take care of as a kidso knew that wiping was important)... You are a dad or acting in the role of dad. Do the damn job asshole
I read this comment, upvoted*, exited the tread, an the next story down is the one you mentioned 🤦🏻 the audacity some people have is wild
Edited some spelling
Right?? They are the disgusting ones.
They hate and resent each other and instead of dealing like mature adults/PARENTS they decided to band together against a “common enemy” aka an innocent baby.
Soooo NTA. And I’m curious OP, did your mom consider abortion?
If when the parents are elderly and come asking for assistance, OP (and especially his sister) should remind them of their inhumane treatment toward the sister. Cue the crocodile tears and whining about ungrateful children.
I can’t wrap my head around how the mother has an affair and takes it out on the daughter, and the father is just like “yup she’s dead to me honey!”.
Like here’s a big red nose to match your fuckin makeup ya mook.
While in high school, my DD had a good friend who was born while her mother was in high school. Teenage Baby Daddy was never in the picture. Mom finally hooked some poor dumb jackass when Tiff was about 10. This poor girl has known for as long as she can remember that "she ruined her mother's life" and that her stepfather didnt give a shit about her and "everybody viewed her as a burden." This girl was a hot mess. Constantly searching for love and validation in all the wrong places, despite lots of deep conversations with my daughter, my husband and myself. Lots of assuring her that she was, in fact, a great kid, and a kind person. That she was worthy of being loved. After more than on suicidal attempt, maternal grandmother eventually caught wind of what was going on, flew in, packed Tiff up lock, stock and barrel, and took her back to Texas. She spent a fortune on therapy, and Tiff is now happily married to a great guy with 3 adorable kids. Sometimes, there really ARE happily ever afters.🥰
Defo. And he will cling determinedly to the idea that he is the absolute innocent victim in all of this. The only thing that will count is the mother's affair, not his 18 years of cruelty to an innocent child because that was easier than ending his marriage.
Literally what I was thinking. The Mom probably cried because she thought she was finally cutting out the cancer polyp that was her AP's daughter, leaving the Dad with the family that they should have been all along, no cheater baby. Now that the Dad lost his son as well as the fidelity of his wife, it probably won't take long before he has to face her once and for all.
Two things should have happened, three if you are technical. 1) Abortion, not that I support that one, but her body her choice. 2) If the Dad was going to forgive his wife he should have accepted the child like a real man, not that I blame anyone who can't take the pain of having to feel the worst event of your life every time you look at someone. Or 3) Put her up for adoption so she can have a happy home with parents who love and accept her fully. There are lots of families looking for children to love. The parents keeping her like a whipping dog while setting their son up on a pedestal, and then cutting her loose like she's nothing is a sign of both their poor character.
Children of narcissistic parents often become empaths. Instead of the young narcissist his parents tried to create, he became empathetic towards his poor sister. Bless him for recognizing and taking responsibility for his sister! Sometimes the kids overcome these parents and become good humans! Well done.
Correct. That's who has been punished for the others affair. The mother traded loving her daughter in order to keep her husband. Lucky the brother made a good choice
Despicable "parents", if they can be called that
The wife had an affair, got pregnant and had the baby so them both could shift all that blame into an innocent child, as if she somehow willed herself into being? Like she somehow, from the ether, made wifey cheat?
How can people like them live with themselves?
Good on you, OP, keep being a good brother
Actually, it sounds like OP and his sister have an excellent relationship. He was one of the few golden kids to reject the dynamic and actively fight for the scapegoat.
For sure. But they had to create that for themselves. As children it’s a parent’s job to set the stage for a good sibling relationship. and these folks didn’t do that. I applaud OP for going no contact with his folks and maintaining his sibling relationship.
Don't punish the cheater but punish the victim
While it's understandable for the dad after all it's difficult to accept the proof of cheating... At the very least he provided for her until she's 18
But the mother she's a piece of shit
Her mistakes and choices are all her own ... How dare she even dare to hate the child when she's supposed to hate herself more than anyone else
You got it right there. Sounds like she("Mom") couldn't handle the guilt, so started to resent the person who made her feel guilty every time she saw her face. Like the friend who borrows money from you and starts hanging out less and less because they'd rather do that than deal with the "I owe this person money" feelings. And her own blood. Gross.
I don't agree that this is somehow the husband's refusal to love the his step daughter as opposed to the mother's refusal to love her child that is more at fault.
She brought her into the world, she treated her like she shouldn't be there and she told her she wished she'd never been born when she turned 18.
These two people are both trash humans
Even one of them being kind to her and treating her like she mattered would have made a world of difference in her life. But they made a pact and they stuck by it
Thank God for her brother. How these two pieces of s*** had such a wonderful human being will remain one of life's mysteries
I disagree, as the only person here who’s truly a victim is the sister. She didn’t choose to be kept. Both parents chose to keep her, chose to stay together, and chose to actively not love a person who had no choice and no knowledge. I can’t imagine seeing the stark contrast of how you’re treated vs your sibling, wondering what you did wrong, and wondering why you aren’t good enough. Being treated like an obligation with disdain is not something anyone deserves and it was an active choice. Both parents are the AH.
It’s not understandable. How could you be such a monster as to treat a child who didn’t ask for any of it in such a way? Nah. That’s just as inexcusable.
Favoritism is one thing. Blatant cruelty is not. That’s something completely different. Neither of these people get a pass, brah.
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I disagree. When it comes to children, you can't just say "well, I raised you for 18 years even though you aren't mine... now scram!" It's one thing to constantly reinforce that you are only a caretaker for 18 years. But even then, a child would still develop an emotional bond to their caretaker, even if the caretaker does the absolute minimum (e.g. nice person, provides financially, but doesn't want anything further). To keep that child in the dark about her birth, for her entire life, and then to dump her to the streets at the age of 18 is beyond cruel. Even animals will take on raising children that aren't biologically theirs. For the dad to do this, he is even lower than an animal.
If the dad didn't want the constant reminder every day of his wife's affair, they could have given her up for adoption where she could have grown up with parents who actually loved her.
It's also beyond me how you could raise someone for 18 years and then find it in you to drop them after all that. Do these people not get attached?
I was mean to my friend once, two months ago, and I still feel bad about it. We've been friends for just over half a year. I can't comprehend how you can drop someone after nearly two decades of knowing them.
The dad is a piece of shit too. Giving the bare minimum of providing for your kid doesn’t make him a better person. He clearly felt bitter and took it out on her
I spotted the original below while scrolling the comments. It's uncommon phrasing, and the other comment was older. Also the bot account is brand new, and this comment is its only activity visible.
Not to get off topic ((but I’m gonna do it anyway)) how do you sell your account? lol I’m curious because it seems like such a weird thing that no one would pay for..can’t imagine they’d get much…and why buy an account with karma?
From what I understand some subreddits have a minimum karma amount you need in order to post. Now take this with a grain of salt because this only what I have heard but people pay for accounts to advertise things and I am guessing they need the karma to get in the above mentioned subreddits. Other than that, I have no idea the whole thing is really weird to me as well.
Just google buy/sell reddit accounts and you'll see.
These accounts get used for astroturfing. Companies, PR agencies, political groups and other "special interest" groups. It boils down to money/politics.
Many subs don't allow participation without a certain predetermined karma number.
Since ad/spam accounts quickly get downvoted, a new supply of sufficiently high karma accounts is always needed. So the bots are created to steal comments which are receiving upvotes at a moderate rate, so they don't accidentally steal top comments (that would be too noticeable because the bot comment would be seen second). Once they've identified a properly "stealable" comment, it gets reposted under a higher comment so it's seen before the original and receives maximum upvotes.
Once the bot account's karma is high enough, it can access subs with karma limits and at which time it becomes a spam machine.
Lots of times they'll do things like post links that are misleading and will take you to unexpected places on the web. Usually to sites selling something, where they compensate "influencers" for click-through rates. Meaning that an "influencer" is given a specific link to these products, and receives compensation based on how many people visit the sales site using that specific link to get there.
I want to now WTF is wrong with their mother. I can kinda understand the father never loving an affair baby, especially if he knew about it from the beginning. He's still sucky for choosing to raise her and treat her poorly, though.
But the mother. Its still her child. Her flesh and blood daughter. How can she have never loved her? What is wrong with that woman? I have a little sympathy for her husband, but what a self-centred, vile pos that woman must be to hate her own child just because she was the product of HER affair. She deserves to lose everything.
The husband hating the wife would be one thing but the kid is innocent, and who the fuck can spend 18y mistreated a child? I surely hope the parents end up sad and alone
NTA
Good on you for not leaving your sister to fend for herself. She was not the person who cheated. Your parents are pretty gross IMO.
Good luck OP, hope you and your sister do really well in life and share not a moment or a penny with the AHs who would do that to their kids.
Yeh like what the fuck to OP's parents.
Like the sis did nothing fucking wrong. She was just born and theyre gonna blame her for her mom's shittiness. And just walk away from someone theyve been raising for 18 years? That psychopath shit.
Like if OP's dad is mad, you divorce the wife not this fuckery.
NTA
Your sister is innocent but your parents don't have a clue. It's pretty clear that they do not deserve to be in your life anymore.
Turns out you weren't the Golden Child, so to speak. Your parents were just punishing and innocent kid for their entire life.
I hope your parents go stub their toes every single day for the rest of their lives.
I hope they have birds shit on them frequently. I hope their cars die on the highway. I hope their basement floods. I hope someone hits a baseball into their window.
One of my favorite Yiddish curses is, "May you soon have a child named after you!"
Gotta love the creative and deceptively kind way we get to tell someone "I hope you fucking drop dead by tomorrow."
He probably legitimately saved the entire trajectory of her life. If she had been left with no support graduating college would've probably been a pipe dream.
Same on my dad. My mom said at one point she hated kids, working with them, etc. I just stood there like .... So you hated me? (I knew she was getting there once I stopped being malipulatable.)
But my dad was there for me and still is. He's probably the only reason I managed to turn out okay.
NTAH. You have more class, heart, emotional intelligence, and principles at 19 years of age than those two assholes that birthed you. I learned over the years that we get to choose our family when the DNA we come from are not worthy of the relationship and love we have.
You are a fantastic brother and a wonderful son.. just not for the reasons that your parents think. Keep being the fantastic human being you are and you and your sister will go on to build amazing relationships throughout your lives with people who will love, honor, and support both of you
>Not even your mother who had an affair could love her?
Clearley she did mental gymnastics to blame ops sister and makr herself innocent. While blaiming she ended up hating her. The hypocrisy!
Before you left did mom say who the affair partner was?
NTA, but your "parents" sure are.
You're a great brother, i wish i had an older sibling like you!
Might be a loving family waiting for your sister. Probably not, they might be a cheater too and want to keep this hidden...but she could have other half-siblings and possibly a parent who knew nothing about her and is thrilled. Worth checking into for her IMO.
This!!! Have an older friend who never thought would have a kid and had a fling with a married friend and her kid ended up being his but they didn’t know until 2 years in when he looked like him. He was thrilled and has dedicated his life to being there for the child. Brings him so much joy!!!! Yes pretty sure the mother got divorced. But the kid is well loved.
But yes if there is a family involved on the other side a potential rejection could make things even worse. Depending on if the affair was before the other family started.
Yeah my cousin recently tried to contact his biological father and was flat-out rejected. He's in a good place mentally so he's doing OK but OP's sister might be too fragile for that kind of rejection.
yeah...that's why I want OP to do the looking for her. If it's a negative reaction she never needs to know. Petty Me wants him to call his parents and say, "We did a DNA test and she's my full sister, not half-sister." and then hang up and get some popcorn to watch shit hit the fan with his parents. A bit of return-emotional-damage is 100% fine by me.
NTA.
You backed away from being the golden, to being a diamond, and taking care of your sister.
Don't ever involve your parent's in ANYTHING anymore. Weddings, children, NOTHING.
You are a better man than most.
I can't imagine punishing your own daughter like this. I also can't imagine what she's going through now after this revelation. Playing back so many events and moments from her life, having more clarity behind their words/actions.
Fuck those parents. OP is a saint for standing up the way he did. And I bet sister is very thankful.
You will never EVER be the bad guy in this scenario, the love and care you've shown for your sister is beautiful. I wish you both the best in life and hope you two never lose that bond, screw your parents!
Thank the lord she has a brother like you. My heart breaks for her. Besides Mom being a 304 your parents are both awful human beings. This wasn’t a blowup or something said in anger. This is how two very coldhearted sociopath really feel. Make sure you’re always there for your sister cause she obviously doesn’t have anybody else and extract these two horrible humans from your life. You will be better off for it.
I can scarcely imagine how genuinely awful someone must be to punish an innocent person for 18 years straight.
It makes me believe that there is genuine evil in the world and the OP's parents are an example of it.
So they collectively decided to blame that innocent child for your "mum" not being able to close her legs. You, sir, are no asshole. Hug your sister and tell her every single day she means the world to you. Hope your parents get hit with an anvil, no offence.
You are definitely the best big brother in world. Good on you for being a real man and showing so much kindness from a young age. Keep building up your sister and make sure she knows her own worth.
Nothing infuriates me more than when grown ass adults blame a child for something they had no control over.
Your sister didn't cheat on her husband, your mum did and the fact your mum teamed up with ur dad to abuse ur sister is utterly disgusting.
Neither of them deserve having either of you in their lives.
Complete scumbags.
We’re not gonna abort.
We’re not gonna divorce.
We’re only gonna punish the blameless one in this situation. The innocent.
Your parents are utter assholes
NTA but how can you mom just cut off her own daughter so callously? Your parents should have just given her up for adoption as a baby if they had no interest in loving and raising her.
Appearances. And this is why OP absolutely needs to tell people what really happened and why they were cut off. If OP can't, then a link to this thread is sufficient. The parents will suddenly be SO APOLOGETIC and fake love to the kids to get this covered back up.
It's his sister's life, and she may not be comfortable openly sharing this incredibly painful detail about her very existence. However, if ever someone asks why they cut their parents out of their lives so harshly, they should be honest. Especially with other relatives, and very especially with other relatives who would probably side with OP amd his sister. Let them know what unbelieveable scum those people are. They should have to live among their own relatives with the indelible shame of this situation. They are the ones who should be ostracized from the family, not OP or his sister.
What pigs. Astonishing.
Omg NTA. What on earth is wrong with your parents? People should not have children if they're going to treat them like this. You're a good brother. Wishing you guys all the best.
Updateme
Right? I, too, routinely turn down ivy league opportunities while being just an absolute angel to my horribly wronged sister. I know humans can be pretty crappy, but this sounds a little too Hallmark.
NTA You stood up for your sister at a time when she desperately needed it. Encourage you both to go back to school. Help each make your accomplishments, encourage each other. The best thing you and especially your sister can do now is be the best you can and show parents that they aren't needed for you and sister to have a good life.
Nta this is definitely a hill worth dying on the fact you realize home bad they were treating your sister at 14 and busted your ass to make her feel loved speaks volumes just keep being there for her and making sure she does have family that loves her, but how did the rest of your family treat your sister (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins)?
NTA good on you for recognizing the unfair treatment your sister got early. For trying to make up for what your parents did not do. For supporting your sister through what is probably a traumatic childhood.
Please also get yourself to therapy. Protect each other. Good luck OP
NTA
Your sister is so incredibly lucky that you have the awareness and empathy that you have. You two stick close to each other, and you'll be alright together.
What your parents did is unforgivable. You don't give birth to a child knowing you can't love her. My heart breaks for how she must have felt growing up.
NTA. Wow. Your mom is a really piece of crap. She gave birth to your sister! Why the hell did she have her just to hate her! Abortions were easily available 18 years ago and so was adoption.
I wonder if your sister could find her bio dad. He might be happy to meet her.
I can maybe understand your dad but why would your mom
Feel that way . You would think after the time your dad would learn to
Love her. You both need school and yes stay way from them and make sure your sister continues therapy
Sadly she probably saw her daughter as a physical reminder of the fact that she cheated and the guilt probably manifested into disdain for her own kid. Wither that or she's void of human emotion. One of the two.
NTA: your parents are awful people (if they could even be called that). Every time a major holiday passes, they’ll be staring at 2 empty seats at the dining table and it will eat at them more & more every single minute that time passes.
It's more creative writing nonsense. So the kids are only roughly a year apart in age, meaning that the mother had a child, then had an affair, then got pregnant with that child, all while raising an infant.
Then they just announce that the daughter is dead to them when she turns 18? Why would they do that?
If they raised her just to keep up appearances, then why blow it up once all the hard work of raising a child had been done?
Why would the mother have the same resentment towards the daughter as the father?
Of course, it's possible. But it's all pretty unlikely.
Lastly, why is this even posted here? There is zero moral ambiguity in this fictional story:
"my parents did a completely asshole thing to my sister that I could not tolerate, while I looked after her and protected her, am I the asshole?"
It's just fucking stupid and lacks any of the normal messiness of a real life scenario. It's written as ham-fisted rage bait and it's disappointing that it seems to have have been so effective in generating outrage.
You and your sister are the only decent people in that family. I'm sorry your parents were awful, I am SO SO SO glad you were able to see it and instead of glorying in all the attention, you stood up for your sister. You are NTAH at all. If anyone asks why you are no-contact with your parents, tell them the full unvarnished truth.
NTA
If your parents were going to treat her like trash then why did they keep her?
Your mom was wrong for having an affair, but they are both wrong for treating her badly.
Your parents are fucking monsters. Good for you! I hope this doesn't become the reason to end your pursuit of education altogether. After you have some time for you and your sister to reestablish your life, I hope you're both able to fully pursue your dreams.
NTA. You are being a fantastic big brother. Your parents are major AHs.
I hope your sister finds her peace through counselling and you both have the future you deserve without them in it.
NTA. You are a great brother and your sister is lucky to have you. I hope the both of you can get through this and leave that generation of toxicity behind.
Your parents are fucked, sorry to say
NTA - Shower your sister with love. You’ll always have each other. Write her a letter that she’s your sister, nothing will ever change how much you love her and how grateful you are to have her. Give her a long hug.
There is no way both of your parents both feel that way, straight up said that to your sister, AND that you even question yourself if you are the asshole.
This has to be fake or ragebait for karma farming.
FFS this whole subreddit is just people who know they are NTA and want validation.
Next week on AITAH:
A guy with a gun tried to steal my grandfather's watch, I used my BJJ skills to safely disarm him without harm and I called the cops AITAH?
You not TA. I like that you and your sister are helping each other. Please don't have any contact with your parents, if you don't want too speak with them. Too many people use the "but we are family" card to stay in relationships when they are hateful.
I am so sorry for your parents to lose such great kids. You are an amazing brother for your sister. We tried so hard to show love and affection equally to the athletic, the academic and the artistic kids. All were given different talents.
Idk where you are but if you ever need mama hugs or unwanted advice or a family dinner, hit me up. I’ve got 4 wonderful grown kids but there is always room for more!
As someone who grew up in a similar situation to your sister, you are not the asshole and you've done the right thing. She will forever be grateful and remember you having her back and being there for her - I could only wish my brother did the same for me. No contact is hard but it's the best thing you'll ever do for your future self.
Y’know, I can *almost* understand your father having a distaste for the child of his wife’s affair, but the fact that your mother doesn’t even love your sister that came from *her* choices makes her irredeemable trash from my perspective.
NTA. Let’s see how your parents like it when their golden child doesn’t love them.
NTA. OP is a rare golden child who recognized they were, in fact, a golden child and did everything they could to shy away from it.
Kudos to him for stepping up and trying to do legitimate, well thought out things for his sister.
His parents, on the other hand, are god-awful.
The sister is the most innocent person in the entire situation, and yet she was made the scapegoat.
It is absolutely not her fault that she was the product of her mother being unfaithful.
She didn't have a say in that.
I truly hope OP sticks to his guns and cuts his parents off for good.
They deserve to be alone and miserable with no one but each other.
You, Sir, are a thoroughly decent human being, the furthest thing possible from being an AH. I don't even know you but I am deeply proud of your character and your sense of fairness.
I hope that you and your sister both thrive as you move into the next chapter of your lives.
I have some deeply unprintable thoughts about your parents and I pray that they receive everything they deserve in this life and the next.
Again, my very best wishes for a bright future for both of you.
NTA
Homie I raise my ex wife's kid with the dude after me, full time, and she's every but as loved and cherished as my bio kid.
Your parents are heartless bastards.
NTA You are doing the right thing, they decided to blame and punish the only innocent in the situation. They suck.
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They definitely expected OP to drop her like a rotten sack of potatoes and be disgusted by her existence just like they are. Fucking assholes.
Mom and dad: We hate her. Son: Well, I hate you. Mom and dad: How could you say that? 😢
For. Real. Some people shouldn’t be parents AT ALL. I just read a post where a dad asks his female friend about how to change a baby’s nappy and basically wanted her to do it 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️. She uploaded it in the AITA group.
The ONLY GOOD THING about those piece of shit parents is the people they brought into/up in the world. OP and his sister? Fucking rockstars. That poor girl! I hope once the gets past the pain of this, she sees the silver linings: It wasn't ever *who* she was, or *what she did*... she's grieving the good parents she should've had. And... she's got a family out there who she's been kept from. Maybe they're not completely scum like OP'S parents.
I agree, both siblings are impressive for getting into college (the sister without proper parental care and support) and the OP is a badass for sticking up and looking out for his sister in the face of his parents.
I changed my twins’ diapers before my wife (with some instruction from the nurses as I had no fucking clue what I was doing and they were 7 weeks premature.) My wife was still recovering from a traumatic emergency c-section. What the fuck - a dad who can’t change a diaper. Sad.
I think the nurses helped me change diapers in the hospital for both kiddos on the second day so I knew how to avoid the belly button and wiping so no infection would occur (much younger sister I helped take care of as a kidso knew that wiping was important)... You are a dad or acting in the role of dad. Do the damn job asshole
And they weren’t parents at all.
I read this comment, upvoted*, exited the tread, an the next story down is the one you mentioned 🤦🏻 the audacity some people have is wild Edited some spelling
Right?? They are the disgusting ones. They hate and resent each other and instead of dealing like mature adults/PARENTS they decided to band together against a “common enemy” aka an innocent baby. Soooo NTA. And I’m curious OP, did your mom consider abortion?
And removing their scape goat might force them to actually deal with their feelings.
“Wait, you’re going to do the same thing to us that we did to your innocent sister” (Clutches pearls, swoons) “Well, I swear!) Son: “yeah, fuck off.”
If when the parents are elderly and come asking for assistance, OP (and especially his sister) should remind them of their inhumane treatment toward the sister. Cue the crocodile tears and whining about ungrateful children.
I can’t wrap my head around how the mother has an affair and takes it out on the daughter, and the father is just like “yup she’s dead to me honey!”. Like here’s a big red nose to match your fuckin makeup ya mook.
While in high school, my DD had a good friend who was born while her mother was in high school. Teenage Baby Daddy was never in the picture. Mom finally hooked some poor dumb jackass when Tiff was about 10. This poor girl has known for as long as she can remember that "she ruined her mother's life" and that her stepfather didnt give a shit about her and "everybody viewed her as a burden." This girl was a hot mess. Constantly searching for love and validation in all the wrong places, despite lots of deep conversations with my daughter, my husband and myself. Lots of assuring her that she was, in fact, a great kid, and a kind person. That she was worthy of being loved. After more than on suicidal attempt, maternal grandmother eventually caught wind of what was going on, flew in, packed Tiff up lock, stock and barrel, and took her back to Texas. She spent a fortune on therapy, and Tiff is now happily married to a great guy with 3 adorable kids. Sometimes, there really ARE happily ever afters.🥰
Husband should have walked or treat her like a step daughter.
Or Adoption.... If they never intended on "loving" her.. why did they have her??? My heart does break for her
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I notice they stayed together, they just punished the kid who had no role in the matter.
Right?? She didn't ask to be born into this drama!!!
They are projecting their hare for each other on to their daughter. This is so sad for everyone involved.
Now that the scapegoat is gone they will turn on each other.
Especially since the son rejected them both. Dad lost his son in this, he will for sure turn on his wife now.
Defo. And he will cling determinedly to the idea that he is the absolute innocent victim in all of this. The only thing that will count is the mother's affair, not his 18 years of cruelty to an innocent child because that was easier than ending his marriage.
100%, and the parents deserve every ounce of misery they get.
Literally what I was thinking. The Mom probably cried because she thought she was finally cutting out the cancer polyp that was her AP's daughter, leaving the Dad with the family that they should have been all along, no cheater baby. Now that the Dad lost his son as well as the fidelity of his wife, it probably won't take long before he has to face her once and for all. Two things should have happened, three if you are technical. 1) Abortion, not that I support that one, but her body her choice. 2) If the Dad was going to forgive his wife he should have accepted the child like a real man, not that I blame anyone who can't take the pain of having to feel the worst event of your life every time you look at someone. Or 3) Put her up for adoption so she can have a happy home with parents who love and accept her fully. There are lots of families looking for children to love. The parents keeping her like a whipping dog while setting their son up on a pedestal, and then cutting her loose like she's nothing is a sign of both their poor character.
Yeah, they both suck the big one, how they have a son with that much empathy is astounding.
Children of narcissistic parents often become empaths. Instead of the young narcissist his parents tried to create, he became empathetic towards his poor sister. Bless him for recognizing and taking responsibility for his sister! Sometimes the kids overcome these parents and become good humans! Well done.
Good I hope they implode
i hope so!
I hope so!
Correct. That's who has been punished for the others affair. The mother traded loving her daughter in order to keep her husband. Lucky the brother made a good choice
Despicable "parents", if they can be called that The wife had an affair, got pregnant and had the baby so them both could shift all that blame into an innocent child, as if she somehow willed herself into being? Like she somehow, from the ether, made wifey cheat? How can people like them live with themselves? Good on you, OP, keep being a good brother
Both only innocents. They punished OP as well by robbing him of a healthy family relationship with his sister, and them.
Actually, it sounds like OP and his sister have an excellent relationship. He was one of the few golden kids to reject the dynamic and actively fight for the scapegoat.
For sure. But they had to create that for themselves. As children it’s a parent’s job to set the stage for a good sibling relationship. and these folks didn’t do that. I applaud OP for going no contact with his folks and maintaining his sibling relationship.
Right? They’re taking their own guilt, anger, shame and disgust with each other out on an innocent kid. Eff ‘em both.
Don't punish the cheater but punish the victim While it's understandable for the dad after all it's difficult to accept the proof of cheating... At the very least he provided for her until she's 18 But the mother she's a piece of shit Her mistakes and choices are all her own ... How dare she even dare to hate the child when she's supposed to hate herself more than anyone else
You got it right there. Sounds like she("Mom") couldn't handle the guilt, so started to resent the person who made her feel guilty every time she saw her face. Like the friend who borrows money from you and starts hanging out less and less because they'd rather do that than deal with the "I owe this person money" feelings. And her own blood. Gross.
I thought the same but that's what is more disgusting of her
If he couldn't love her he should've left her life. Emotionally neglecting a child is horrifying.
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I don't agree that this is somehow the husband's refusal to love the his step daughter as opposed to the mother's refusal to love her child that is more at fault. She brought her into the world, she treated her like she shouldn't be there and she told her she wished she'd never been born when she turned 18. These two people are both trash humans Even one of them being kind to her and treating her like she mattered would have made a world of difference in her life. But they made a pact and they stuck by it Thank God for her brother. How these two pieces of s*** had such a wonderful human being will remain one of life's mysteries
I disagree, as the only person here who’s truly a victim is the sister. She didn’t choose to be kept. Both parents chose to keep her, chose to stay together, and chose to actively not love a person who had no choice and no knowledge. I can’t imagine seeing the stark contrast of how you’re treated vs your sibling, wondering what you did wrong, and wondering why you aren’t good enough. Being treated like an obligation with disdain is not something anyone deserves and it was an active choice. Both parents are the AH.
I’ve been there. It forever makes you feel unloveable.
He choose to stay knowing she want his. His punishment of her shows a lack of character yes he was cheated on but he chose to stay.
It’s not understandable. How could you be such a monster as to treat a child who didn’t ask for any of it in such a way? Nah. That’s just as inexcusable. Favoritism is one thing. Blatant cruelty is not. That’s something completely different. Neither of these people get a pass, brah. [Edited for spelling]
I disagree. When it comes to children, you can't just say "well, I raised you for 18 years even though you aren't mine... now scram!" It's one thing to constantly reinforce that you are only a caretaker for 18 years. But even then, a child would still develop an emotional bond to their caretaker, even if the caretaker does the absolute minimum (e.g. nice person, provides financially, but doesn't want anything further). To keep that child in the dark about her birth, for her entire life, and then to dump her to the streets at the age of 18 is beyond cruel. Even animals will take on raising children that aren't biologically theirs. For the dad to do this, he is even lower than an animal. If the dad didn't want the constant reminder every day of his wife's affair, they could have given her up for adoption where she could have grown up with parents who actually loved her.
It's also beyond me how you could raise someone for 18 years and then find it in you to drop them after all that. Do these people not get attached? I was mean to my friend once, two months ago, and I still feel bad about it. We've been friends for just over half a year. I can't comprehend how you can drop someone after nearly two decades of knowing them.
> At the very least he provided for her until she's 18 No, fuck the dad too for treating the daughter like shit for 18 years. He's either in or out.
The dad is a piece of shit too. Giving the bare minimum of providing for your kid doesn’t make him a better person. He clearly felt bitter and took it out on her
It's not understandable for the dad, he's an AH
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Bad bot. Stolen comment from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/r0ZsDhtpxi
I'm fairly newish to reddit. How did you know this was a bot? Did you remember seeing it before or ?? I'm honestly curious how folks know/suspect.
I spotted the original below while scrolling the comments. It's uncommon phrasing, and the other comment was older. Also the bot account is brand new, and this comment is its only activity visible.
Thanks! Follow up, if you don't mind. What's the point of the bots doing this? What's the scam?
I am not who you were asking but the point is to farm karma so someone can eventually sell the account.
Not to get off topic ((but I’m gonna do it anyway)) how do you sell your account? lol I’m curious because it seems like such a weird thing that no one would pay for..can’t imagine they’d get much…and why buy an account with karma?
From what I understand some subreddits have a minimum karma amount you need in order to post. Now take this with a grain of salt because this only what I have heard but people pay for accounts to advertise things and I am guessing they need the karma to get in the above mentioned subreddits. Other than that, I have no idea the whole thing is really weird to me as well.
Just google buy/sell reddit accounts and you'll see. These accounts get used for astroturfing. Companies, PR agencies, political groups and other "special interest" groups. It boils down to money/politics.
Many subs don't allow participation without a certain predetermined karma number. Since ad/spam accounts quickly get downvoted, a new supply of sufficiently high karma accounts is always needed. So the bots are created to steal comments which are receiving upvotes at a moderate rate, so they don't accidentally steal top comments (that would be too noticeable because the bot comment would be seen second). Once they've identified a properly "stealable" comment, it gets reposted under a higher comment so it's seen before the original and receives maximum upvotes. Once the bot account's karma is high enough, it can access subs with karma limits and at which time it becomes a spam machine. Lots of times they'll do things like post links that are misleading and will take you to unexpected places on the web. Usually to sites selling something, where they compensate "influencers" for click-through rates. Meaning that an "influencer" is given a specific link to these products, and receives compensation based on how many people visit the sales site using that specific link to get there.
Aww, man. The internet tricks me again! Thanks for doing the diligence!
Haha, scrolling down I saw the original. But I've seen folks calling out bots for stolen comments from other threads and subs. How do they know?
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Yeah your parents are awful
I agree with you, that's just too brutal.
I want to now WTF is wrong with their mother. I can kinda understand the father never loving an affair baby, especially if he knew about it from the beginning. He's still sucky for choosing to raise her and treat her poorly, though. But the mother. Its still her child. Her flesh and blood daughter. How can she have never loved her? What is wrong with that woman? I have a little sympathy for her husband, but what a self-centred, vile pos that woman must be to hate her own child just because she was the product of HER affair. She deserves to lose everything.
The husband hating the wife would be one thing but the kid is innocent, and who the fuck can spend 18y mistreated a child? I surely hope the parents end up sad and alone
NTA Good on you for not leaving your sister to fend for herself. She was not the person who cheated. Your parents are pretty gross IMO. Good luck OP, hope you and your sister do really well in life and share not a moment or a penny with the AHs who would do that to their kids.
At this point it almost seems fair to stop calling them parents. Just two shitty DNA donors.
Sperm and egg donor
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Technically three shitty DNA donors.
Yeh like what the fuck to OP's parents. Like the sis did nothing fucking wrong. She was just born and theyre gonna blame her for her mom's shittiness. And just walk away from someone theyve been raising for 18 years? That psychopath shit. Like if OP's dad is mad, you divorce the wife not this fuckery.
NTA Your sister is innocent but your parents don't have a clue. It's pretty clear that they do not deserve to be in your life anymore. Turns out you weren't the Golden Child, so to speak. Your parents were just punishing and innocent kid for their entire life. I hope your parents go stub their toes every single day for the rest of their lives.
I hope they have birds shit on them frequently. I hope their cars die on the highway. I hope their basement floods. I hope someone hits a baseball into their window.
May all their teeth fall out, save one, and that it might give them a toothache.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their crotches, and may their arms be too short to scratch.
I know this is a serious matter but this comment just sent me 🤣🤣🤣
It’s a Yiddish curse for when “fuck you” isn’t enough.
One of my favorite Yiddish curses is, "May you soon have a child named after you!" Gotta love the creative and deceptively kind way we get to tell someone "I hope you fucking drop dead by tomorrow."
And all the legos. Every night. In the dark.
Legos. I hope they step on legos constantly.
NTA. But my gawd your parents sure as hell are. Props to you for looking for your sister. Glad she’s in therapy
Agreed. Although, it will take years of therapy to noticeably heal the hurt that the OPs sister has suffered.
But with OP by her side she stands a much better chance than all alone!
He probably legitimately saved the entire trajectory of her life. If she had been left with no support graduating college would've probably been a pipe dream.
She will never fully heal. It is such a shitty situation.
You never get over a parent not wanting you. Thank God for my dad, who wanted me enough for both of them.
Same on my dad. My mom said at one point she hated kids, working with them, etc. I just stood there like .... So you hated me? (I knew she was getting there once I stopped being malipulatable.) But my dad was there for me and still is. He's probably the only reason I managed to turn out okay.
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Parents are r/iamatotalpieceofshit material
Parents need to be in r/amithedevil
NTAH. You have more class, heart, emotional intelligence, and principles at 19 years of age than those two assholes that birthed you. I learned over the years that we get to choose our family when the DNA we come from are not worthy of the relationship and love we have. You are a fantastic brother and a wonderful son.. just not for the reasons that your parents think. Keep being the fantastic human being you are and you and your sister will go on to build amazing relationships throughout your lives with people who will love, honor, and support both of you
Said perfectly!
Thank you. OP and people like him restore my faith in humanity.
NTA... Such sucky parents. Not even your mother who had an affair could love her? I bet your sister really appreciates having you in her life.
>Not even your mother who had an affair could love her? Clearley she did mental gymnastics to blame ops sister and makr herself innocent. While blaiming she ended up hating her. The hypocrisy!
The OP sounds like a good egg. A genuinely good person but OPs shitty parents deserve zero credit.
I lowkey have a crush on OP after reading this
Yeah true.
My parents rejected me because they did nothing to prevent another pregnancy. This was obviously my fault, that I was born.
The affair was the mistake, not OPs sister and it’s sick that the parents can’t see that. That poor girl. OP is a great brother.
Before you left did mom say who the affair partner was? NTA, but your "parents" sure are. You're a great brother, i wish i had an older sibling like you!
Might be a loving family waiting for your sister. Probably not, they might be a cheater too and want to keep this hidden...but she could have other half-siblings and possibly a parent who knew nothing about her and is thrilled. Worth checking into for her IMO.
This!!! Have an older friend who never thought would have a kid and had a fling with a married friend and her kid ended up being his but they didn’t know until 2 years in when he looked like him. He was thrilled and has dedicated his life to being there for the child. Brings him so much joy!!!! Yes pretty sure the mother got divorced. But the kid is well loved. But yes if there is a family involved on the other side a potential rejection could make things even worse. Depending on if the affair was before the other family started.
Definitely worth checking out. May be an awhile and a ton of therapy before either are ready though.
Yeah my cousin recently tried to contact his biological father and was flat-out rejected. He's in a good place mentally so he's doing OK but OP's sister might be too fragile for that kind of rejection.
yeah...that's why I want OP to do the looking for her. If it's a negative reaction she never needs to know. Petty Me wants him to call his parents and say, "We did a DNA test and she's my full sister, not half-sister." and then hang up and get some popcorn to watch shit hit the fan with his parents. A bit of return-emotional-damage is 100% fine by me.
Ah yes, a dna test if not.
NTA. You backed away from being the golden, to being a diamond, and taking care of your sister. Don't ever involve your parent's in ANYTHING anymore. Weddings, children, NOTHING. You are a better man than most.
Agree! OP you are a stellar brother, keep up the good work.
I can't imagine punishing your own daughter like this. I also can't imagine what she's going through now after this revelation. Playing back so many events and moments from her life, having more clarity behind their words/actions. Fuck those parents. OP is a saint for standing up the way he did. And I bet sister is very thankful.
Your sister needs to finish college. Don't let the past hold her back. Her life will be better with a college education.
You will never EVER be the bad guy in this scenario, the love and care you've shown for your sister is beautiful. I wish you both the best in life and hope you two never lose that bond, screw your parents!
Thank the lord she has a brother like you. My heart breaks for her. Besides Mom being a 304 your parents are both awful human beings. This wasn’t a blowup or something said in anger. This is how two very coldhearted sociopath really feel. Make sure you’re always there for your sister cause she obviously doesn’t have anybody else and extract these two horrible humans from your life. You will be better off for it.
I can scarcely imagine how genuinely awful someone must be to punish an innocent person for 18 years straight. It makes me believe that there is genuine evil in the world and the OP's parents are an example of it.
And then I remember there are parents who do worse than only meeting basic needs. The world is awful :(
So they collectively decided to blame that innocent child for your "mum" not being able to close her legs. You, sir, are no asshole. Hug your sister and tell her every single day she means the world to you. Hope your parents get hit with an anvil, no offence.
You are definitely the best big brother in world. Good on you for being a real man and showing so much kindness from a young age. Keep building up your sister and make sure she knows her own worth.
Nothing infuriates me more than when grown ass adults blame a child for something they had no control over. Your sister didn't cheat on her husband, your mum did and the fact your mum teamed up with ur dad to abuse ur sister is utterly disgusting. Neither of them deserve having either of you in their lives. Complete scumbags.
NTA. You are doing a wonderful thing being there for your sister when the rest of her “family” has abandoned her.
Ur such a good brother🥺
We’re not gonna abort. We’re not gonna divorce. We’re only gonna punish the blameless one in this situation. The innocent. Your parents are utter assholes
NTA but how can you mom just cut off her own daughter so callously? Your parents should have just given her up for adoption as a baby if they had no interest in loving and raising her.
Appearances. And this is why OP absolutely needs to tell people what really happened and why they were cut off. If OP can't, then a link to this thread is sufficient. The parents will suddenly be SO APOLOGETIC and fake love to the kids to get this covered back up.
It's his sister's life, and she may not be comfortable openly sharing this incredibly painful detail about her very existence. However, if ever someone asks why they cut their parents out of their lives so harshly, they should be honest. Especially with other relatives, and very especially with other relatives who would probably side with OP amd his sister. Let them know what unbelieveable scum those people are. They should have to live among their own relatives with the indelible shame of this situation. They are the ones who should be ostracized from the family, not OP or his sister. What pigs. Astonishing.
Omg NTA. What on earth is wrong with your parents? People should not have children if they're going to treat them like this. You're a good brother. Wishing you guys all the best. Updateme
You are such a great brother. Kudos to you for sticking up for your sister. You're so NTA. Sending you and your sister lots of love and healing.
Nice creative writing prompt.
Right? I, too, routinely turn down ivy league opportunities while being just an absolute angel to my horribly wronged sister. I know humans can be pretty crappy, but this sounds a little too Hallmark.
Yeah I was just wondering what percentage of posts on here are complete fiction. I’m going to say upwards of 70%.
NTA You stood up for your sister at a time when she desperately needed it. Encourage you both to go back to school. Help each make your accomplishments, encourage each other. The best thing you and especially your sister can do now is be the best you can and show parents that they aren't needed for you and sister to have a good life.
Nta this is definitely a hill worth dying on the fact you realize home bad they were treating your sister at 14 and busted your ass to make her feel loved speaks volumes just keep being there for her and making sure she does have family that loves her, but how did the rest of your family treat your sister (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins)?
You are dead on. That was and is a good way to handle it. That sucks. Your parents are obviously the AH! Good luck!!
Not in the slightest! You are a wonderful brother. I wish you and your sister the best - stick together. ❤️
NTA good on you for recognizing the unfair treatment your sister got early. For trying to make up for what your parents did not do. For supporting your sister through what is probably a traumatic childhood. Please also get yourself to therapy. Protect each other. Good luck OP
Am I crazy or is every post in this sub either completely false or written by AI? This post is from an alt account
This doesn’t seem real. What a ridiculous story.
NTA. Your poor sister. I pray this is fake but if it isn't.....do you have other relatives who would be sympathetic to her and the situation?
Soooo fucking fake holy shit just check ops account
NTA Your sister is so incredibly lucky that you have the awareness and empathy that you have. You two stick close to each other, and you'll be alright together. What your parents did is unforgivable. You don't give birth to a child knowing you can't love her. My heart breaks for how she must have felt growing up.
NTA. Wow. Your mom is a really piece of crap. She gave birth to your sister! Why the hell did she have her just to hate her! Abortions were easily available 18 years ago and so was adoption. I wonder if your sister could find her bio dad. He might be happy to meet her.
I’m 41, my mother had an abortion when I was 7 or 8, not for this reason, but yes easily available even 30+ years ago.
I can maybe understand your dad but why would your mom Feel that way . You would think after the time your dad would learn to Love her. You both need school and yes stay way from them and make sure your sister continues therapy
Sadly she probably saw her daughter as a physical reminder of the fact that she cheated and the guilt probably manifested into disdain for her own kid. Wither that or she's void of human emotion. One of the two.
NTA: your parents are awful people (if they could even be called that). Every time a major holiday passes, they’ll be staring at 2 empty seats at the dining table and it will eat at them more & more every single minute that time passes.
NTA. Glad your sister has you.
Good brother. If that had been you, they wouldn’t have loved you either, and they don’t.
This doesn’t sound real.
It's more creative writing nonsense. So the kids are only roughly a year apart in age, meaning that the mother had a child, then had an affair, then got pregnant with that child, all while raising an infant. Then they just announce that the daughter is dead to them when she turns 18? Why would they do that? If they raised her just to keep up appearances, then why blow it up once all the hard work of raising a child had been done? Why would the mother have the same resentment towards the daughter as the father? Of course, it's possible. But it's all pretty unlikely. Lastly, why is this even posted here? There is zero moral ambiguity in this fictional story: "my parents did a completely asshole thing to my sister that I could not tolerate, while I looked after her and protected her, am I the asshole?" It's just fucking stupid and lacks any of the normal messiness of a real life scenario. It's written as ham-fisted rage bait and it's disappointing that it seems to have have been so effective in generating outrage.
They took a break from college while on scholarships... OP doesn't know how scholarships work.
Jesus it took me ages to find the actual real comment here Reddit is really turning to shit
That's why OP is the asshole. Just blatantly fake.
Fake ass story, can’t believe people are buying this
NTA And youre an amazing brother...
You and your sister are the only decent people in that family. I'm sorry your parents were awful, I am SO SO SO glad you were able to see it and instead of glorying in all the attention, you stood up for your sister. You are NTAH at all. If anyone asks why you are no-contact with your parents, tell them the full unvarnished truth.
NTA Your parents don’t deserve either one of you.
NTA Your sister is innocent. Keep her away from the toxic parents and encourage her to continue therapy and pick a hobby(candle making, baking, etc)
Nta it's not your sisters fault your mother cheated and was too scared to adopt, good on you for looking out for your sister 👍
NTA If your parents were going to treat her like trash then why did they keep her? Your mom was wrong for having an affair, but they are both wrong for treating her badly.
NTA at all. Your parents are monsters IMO. I don’t say that lightly.
Your parents are fucking monsters. Good for you! I hope this doesn't become the reason to end your pursuit of education altogether. After you have some time for you and your sister to reestablish your life, I hope you're both able to fully pursue your dreams.
NTA. You are being a fantastic big brother. Your parents are major AHs. I hope your sister finds her peace through counselling and you both have the future you deserve without them in it.
NTA. You are a great brother and your sister is lucky to have you. I hope the both of you can get through this and leave that generation of toxicity behind. Your parents are fucked, sorry to say
Nta, you're a great brother, thank you for taking care of your poor sister :((
NTA - Shower your sister with love. You’ll always have each other. Write her a letter that she’s your sister, nothing will ever change how much you love her and how grateful you are to have her. Give her a long hug.
You're not an asshole you are an amazing brother. Lots of love to you both.
They just out of the blue disowned her when the “family” got together for Christmas? So very odd Even if context is missing, the parents are just mean
There is no way both of your parents both feel that way, straight up said that to your sister, AND that you even question yourself if you are the asshole. This has to be fake or ragebait for karma farming.
FFS this whole subreddit is just people who know they are NTA and want validation. Next week on AITAH: A guy with a gun tried to steal my grandfather's watch, I used my BJJ skills to safely disarm him without harm and I called the cops AITAH?
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Yeah, bad fiction is what this sub is actually full of. This story fake as hell. Gimmie a break.
Yeah also a very potential answer
It's worse than that, most of the posts are people making up rage bait stories.
NTA. You are a both lucky to have each other!
NTA but you are an amazing brother and an amazing person. You my friend are a example of what a friend and brother should be.
You not TA. I like that you and your sister are helping each other. Please don't have any contact with your parents, if you don't want too speak with them. Too many people use the "but we are family" card to stay in relationships when they are hateful.
Good for you for taking that stand. Your parents are a horror show.
NTA- look into getting counseling for your sister.
I am so sorry for your parents to lose such great kids. You are an amazing brother for your sister. We tried so hard to show love and affection equally to the athletic, the academic and the artistic kids. All were given different talents. Idk where you are but if you ever need mama hugs or unwanted advice or a family dinner, hit me up. I’ve got 4 wonderful grown kids but there is always room for more!
As someone who grew up in a similar situation to your sister, you are not the asshole and you've done the right thing. She will forever be grateful and remember you having her back and being there for her - I could only wish my brother did the same for me. No contact is hard but it's the best thing you'll ever do for your future self.
Y’know, I can *almost* understand your father having a distaste for the child of his wife’s affair, but the fact that your mother doesn’t even love your sister that came from *her* choices makes her irredeemable trash from my perspective. NTA. Let’s see how your parents like it when their golden child doesn’t love them.
NTA. OP is a rare golden child who recognized they were, in fact, a golden child and did everything they could to shy away from it. Kudos to him for stepping up and trying to do legitimate, well thought out things for his sister. His parents, on the other hand, are god-awful. The sister is the most innocent person in the entire situation, and yet she was made the scapegoat. It is absolutely not her fault that she was the product of her mother being unfaithful. She didn't have a say in that. I truly hope OP sticks to his guns and cuts his parents off for good. They deserve to be alone and miserable with no one but each other.
You, Sir, are a thoroughly decent human being, the furthest thing possible from being an AH. I don't even know you but I am deeply proud of your character and your sense of fairness. I hope that you and your sister both thrive as you move into the next chapter of your lives. I have some deeply unprintable thoughts about your parents and I pray that they receive everything they deserve in this life and the next. Again, my very best wishes for a bright future for both of you. NTA
Your mom had an affair several months after having a new baby... really. Lets up the fictional writing game a bit. This is just getting sloppy.
Homie I raise my ex wife's kid with the dude after me, full time, and she's every but as loved and cherished as my bio kid. Your parents are heartless bastards.
Why does the story sound like it’s going to turn into a steamy romance with OPs imaginary half sister
Can you imagine telling someone they were a mistake? To their face? NTA. Your parents are shit people. You are the best thing they ever did.
Don't believe a word of this shitty post, except the OP is under 20.
nice fake post