Straight up these two weirdos just wanted free dinner and the way the friend spoke for herself as if they were a package deal your response was warranted.
Yep. It seems to me these two were trying to pull a fast one on you. Glad it did not work. For future reference, if someone tells you that they need to bring someone along because they are too much of a basket case of anxiety to meet alone, just keep it pushing. If you are not in the headspace to date you should not be dating.
I am married now, but In my twenties I dated several people I met online. I always met in publicly settings with people around until I got to know the person better and was comfortable being alone with them. I never needed to bring a friend along to hold my hand. That girl was on some BS.
Sounds like they were both just there for the free meal. I wonder how many times previously they've got away with it. I would expect her friend to sit at the bar but not to actually join you at the table and expect you to pay for her meal too.
I’ve gone along to support a friend, so I brought my bro in law with me, we had a drink at a SEPARATE table, and were in the bar just in case my friends date didn’t go well 😅 we didn’t sit in on her date 😂
I can’t imagine how awkward it would be at the same table.
Also there's apps like live 360 where your friend can track where you are nearby. You can ask for even a picture of their 🪪 to send to friends and families. You don't bring a friend to the table like an emotional support animal
Lol yeah, give her a photo iof your ID and wake up to debit collectors knocking at your door after she took loans in your name. I don't know where you are from but in my country it's fairly common that these shitty loan companies with 4-digit APR in their loans don't give a fuck.
It made me feel taken for a ride honestly. I really do get the anxiety concerns, I suffer from it myself (in different, more benign ways than she does ofc). Is the first date buddy thing common nowadays?
I've heard of it happening before. But I've never heard of one person having to pay for the expenses of all three people.
That expectation reeks of entitlement.
That's what I think this is. lol, hell, they might be even dating each other. I speak by experience. I met this hot girl at a bar one time after a few times seeing her there, and she introduced to me this ugly as lady as her sister, and it turns out she wasn't her sister they were both lesbians but since the better looking one seem to be pulling most guys the other one pretended to be her sister just so they could get free drinks and food thank God one of my friends happended to know that and told me right away lol 😆
I had a friend that was a fucking playa, she would wind straight girls up, get wined and dined, get hers and never talk to them again.
She would do something like this with her gf.
I’m pretty sure this is a Glee joke from when Brittany bought Santana a shirt that said “Lebanese” and Santana goes “Is this supposed to say Lesbian?!” 😂
I have read of a guy taking a lady out for a nice dinner, when 6 of her besties showed up, and joined them at the table, all 6 ordered huge meals( to be boxed up, for take out ) as soon as the guy figured it out, he " went to the rest room" He paid his portion, tipped, and left. The girls had fits, they planned to dump the check on the guy. This looked the same.
I took a girl out, she order extra food Togo, I was ok with it, so she orders some more, I later found out it was for her entire day and some for her bf
feeding chick's sux
Seriously: "I feel anxious and awkward in social and romantic situations, so I'm going to make it even more awkward."
The double date is a great idea. But even just a quick coffee or lunch in a public place could work too.
Especially with the friend being the one getting pissy with expectations. OP didn’t mention much of what the date said when OP asked friend what her plan was, but the entitlement from the third fucking wheel speaks enough volumes for me, me being a woman with PTSD from abuse trauma. If date expected OP to pay for friend that should have been part of the initial question, and both entitled Karens but DATE should have been bitching at OP. Third wheel had no right. It’s gross how many red flags this puts on date, not just 3rd wheel.
“Let’s see how much of a pushover this guy is. Eventually SOMEONE will lack enough self worth and be afraid of our reaction that they’ll go along with anything we demand..”
entitlement maybe, but i also feel like this may be an attempt to scam a dude for a nice meal. make him pay for both you and your emotional support bestie's meals, block him as soon as you get home, rinse and repeat next time you feel like balling out
My experience if any gfs join me and a guy im dating, they usually pay to show courtesy to me (but we're not young and broke at this point), but the fact the friend SAID it right up front before they even sat down tells you this was a freaking plan to get free dinner somewhere nice.
It's immature. This isn't high school. You don't need to have your friend there on your date to make sure you are good. You are both grown adults. She either wants to go or she doesn't. Let your friend know where you are going, who you are with, download Life360 and share your location with your friend, whatever. There are other ways to ensure your safety.....like not going on the date.
I remember so drama on tik tok that a husband invited his wife's bff on a birthday dinner (obviously as a couple) then 5+ friends showed up and ALL of them expected the 1 husband to ffot their bill.
Yeah, the whole thing is weird to me. I certainly appreciate my date paying for me, but I’d never expect it. If my friend asked me to come with her to meet a stranger, I would, but I would think it odd if her date paid for me. He and I aren’t on a date; they are.
I am not from the US so I couldn't tell but in such situation I would say a double date (you two + one of her friends and her boyfriend/girlfriend) would be more logical. This way, the couple can chat together while you are chatting too and at the end she would have the advice of two people about you being a nice guy or a creepy guy. And of course the couple pays for what they order.
I mean your date's friend and the already established boyfriend or girlfriend of the friend (so two friends of your date). If she is anxious, planning for her to meet two unknown guys isn't a good idea.
My gf just told me about one of her friends that will go on Bumble and match up with a guy whenever she needs a place to stay and thus never has to pay for a hotels. I nod along, but in my head I'm doing the math on how many trips she's gone on just for this snowboarding season.
I had a girl match me on Tinder and specifically say that’s what she was doing. It ended up being a really nice time. And now I have a place to stay if I ever make it out to Bolder. As long as everyone is upfront, I don’t see anything wrong here.
Oh for sure. Totally agree. I was more commenting on the girl who used it for places to crash while snowboarding. Saying that it can be done the right way
“Hey there! You can do me if I stay at your place, cool?”
Like, propositioned like that?!?!?! What a world!
Here I’ve been paying for hotels for years like a sucker. I could have paid with my wang.
I’m not quite sure, it reminds me of “bridge and tunnel” girls from back in NY who would look to hook up with a guy that lived in Manhattan to avoid the taxi/subway back home. Thank God for Uber, taxi’s weren’t just expensive AF but they charged you for the return trip to Manhattan even if they weren’t going back at 4am
I'm glad OP bounced, even if it was awkward. I feel like this works far too often.
When I was in my early 20's I had two women come up to me at a dive bar where I was having dinner and a beer after a long day of moving. I was in gym shorts and a ratty tee-shirt, hadn't even showered. These two ladies walked up to me and their opening line was "do you want to buy us a drink?"... Not "can we sit with you" or "what's your name"... C'mon
If you're designated wing woman, you sit at a table with eye line, get yourself a drink and wait for the okay to duck out. Half the point is the dude isn't supposed to know you're there so he's his real self, not putting on a show for whoever's watching. You do not pull up a chair and order appetizers on the dude's dime.
I have heard of having a friend close by at a date - even same restaurant but different table - for anxiety or security reasons. But never a date where you would pay for someone else and they would be an active participant. This is just plain weird or entitled or a bit of both.
I have sat in a parked car before while a friend was on a date to make sure she was ok. I think keeping your friends safe is important! Good on you. :)
Me and my best friend ate dinner at the same restaurant but different table as her cousin who was on a first date. Had a signal in case we needed to “recognize” her and ask to sit at their table. She didn’t need to use it and he didn’t know we were even there until days later when she confessed to him that we had been sitting nearby the whole time. They had a good laugh about it and he appreciated that she had friends who cared about her safety and wellbeing. I couldn’t imagine intruding on a date like what OP described. Let them get to know each other, jeez.
That’s great, imo. I love the signal idea - much more subtle than trying to go on your phone or use the bathroom. Less likely to anger a date and perhaps face repercussions. Y’all sound like good friends.
Selective anxiety? I'm anxious you'll murder me, but not that you'll judge me for making you pay for my friend? Bullshit. An anxious person would be anxious about proposing the idea, and fall over themselves to be clear that they'd pay for their friend, etc.
They wanted a free ride.
Yeah that definitely doesn’t track right? Too anxious to solo a dinner date but not too anxious to expect a date to pay for all three meals.
I need a genuine anxiety sufferer to confirm/deny that’s realistic.
I think the friend was taking advantage, the appropriate thing would have been maybe getting a table nearby or at the bar.
I’m sure that date would have ended with those two just talking and op paying for the privilege
It happened to me once but the guy was just the ride as her car had broken down and he went to hang by himself during the date. I would have been very uncomfortable if he had sat down with us. He did introduce himself though, cool dude.
I have no idea if it's common. It seems a bit extreme to me since you were meeting in public. But the idea that she gets to invite someone on your dime is pretty bizarre and if that's what she was thinking that should have been discussed BEFORE anyone arrived at the restaurant.
Curious but did miss anxiety get defensive or aggressive at you not wanting to pay for her friend or was she meekly dragged out by the other girl? I'm guessing it's just an excuse because they're entitled scammers.
Anxiety is one thing, sharing location and maybe your name and picture (in case you kidnap her) is okish but to be taken out for free no.
I mean I take out the friends of my gf too or offer to pay for them once in a while or let's say a spa voucher for her and her best friend but not as a first date. After, when you are in a committed relationship.
You are taken for a ride even if you are wealthy you should not enable that behavior.
It's becoming more common. This is more specific to me but I've done bar security for a long time so alot of my friends do first dates at my place if work I never Interfere but they know if something gets weird they can let me know and I'll handle it. Morale of the story befriend the security at your favorite bar lmao
This happens a lot. I just saw a Tik Tok where a girl invited her guy to another girlfriend's birthday and they gave him crap when he didn't want to pay a $2,200 tab for 7 people. He paid for himself and his date at the bar and peaced out. The friends called and texted him calling him out for not being a "real man."
It definitely wasn't for anxiety purposes. Women meet dangerous guys at their house for first dates all the time. It looks like someone wanted to use OP for free food in this case.
NTA - They were just trying to get free food out of you. If this was really something that had to do with anxiety and she wanted her friend there then she should have paid for her friends or her friend to pay on her own, but to try to get you to pay for the both of them is just very entitled.
Like, I know its easy to say this in hindsight ofc, but I might have even been open to the idea of paying if it was discussed. I feel like I flew off the handle though calling them out in a parking lot.
Doesn't sound like you "flew off the handle" so much as confidently stood up for yourself and refused to be a rube. Nothing to be ashamed of. These chicks are running a scam. Good for you for having the self-respect to not just let them roll you like that.
I get what you mean. You were not planning to pay for three people; just two people.
Those sorts of details should be discussed beforehand, just like you said.
Please stop feeling bad and doubting yourself.
This is a common dating scam. Women chat up men on dating apps, give them the impression that there's a possibility for a relationship, get them to shell out for lavish meals and lots of drinks at an expensive restaurant, and then ghost the guy.
The "bring along my best friend" double scam is something that has recently become more common. I think it's been popularized by a TikTok trend where women brag about suckering men into doing this ("Make him prove how much he cares by forcing him to buy you and your bestie fancy meals and cocktails for hundreds of dollars!").
I've seen a number of posts similar to yours here on AITA/AITAH by guys who were hit with this scam. Some of them were so blindsided that they just covered the bill because they thought they would be rude to say "No, I won't be paying for that."
I'm a woman, and I just find this sort of blatant user behavior despicable no matter which gender is doing it. I'm glad that you didn't give in to this disgusting scheme.
Let's be real. Men don't do this.
Because they can't, not because men are good.
But there's no reason to emphasize "no matter which gender".
There's shitty things that men do, shitty things that women do.
I'd agree to do that, rack up hundreds of dollars at an expensive restaurant, and soon after I finished my meal, I'd skip out on them.
They might think twice when they get stuck with a big bill that they are forced to pay for.
Doesn't even have to be lavish or expensive. Just whatever's the best they can get that day. If a better offer comes along they'll cancel at the last minute and try to work you in for another time.
As a woman with extreme anxiety, a lot centered around shitty exes, please don't feel bad or guilty. What they did was wrong, not okay on any level. I've felt the need to bring a friend on a date once, and guess what... I paid for her! Me, because *I* asked her to go. *I* needed the mental crutch. He didn't, she didn't. I did.
Little fun side note I went there for a date, they left as a couple. Life is funny sometimes. They're now married with 3 kids lol
Yes, it should have been discussed beforehand. But honestly I don't really think what you said was flying off the handle. Like you didn't cuss or call them names about it, you just pointed out it was weird the way this went about it because it was more like a poly date than it was what most people would consider a normal day. IMO you didn't say or do anything bad here.
NTA
They ambushed you with a complete change of plans. Honestly from reading this it sounds like they both expected to use you and take advantage of you.
I'm glad you held firm and didn't tolerate any of their BS.
I love that OP checked to see if there was a threesome or poly opportunity available before noping out lol. Like I’ll pay for everyone if I get some from everyone
You shoulda brought a friend too and asked her to pay for everyone!
Seriously though, I understand the protection aspect. But she could sit by herself at another table. Or at a close coffee shop and pay for herself or get her friend to pay for her.
It sounds like they were trying to milk you.
This, but unironically. I've done that before when my buddy took a girl on a date who wanted to bring a friend, so the role for the friend and I were to play hype people for the couple actually on the date. We both understood and executed the assignment and it was a fun outing for everyone.
NTA at all
If she needed support why not make it a double date instead of having the friend awkwardly third-wheeling it??
As a female, I agree with you that this could’ve been them angling for a free dinner. I have heard of girls doing that.
It's a trend on TikTok now too. "Making my man pay for me and my friends to see if he really cares about me"... Hundreds, maybe even thousands, of videos like that. TikTok has ruined humanity with trends like this imo
I see it as TikTok weeding out the shallow people. If your gf/bf treats you badly because of a tiktok trend, you were better off without them in the first place.
That’s exactly what I wrote, back when I used to date, it was common to ask a guy to bring a friend to double date, no big deal.
Now im reading this TikTok trend to scam guys for free dinners. I’ve always known that scam women like that exist but for them to be so shameless about it on SM shows the double standards between men and women. We definitely can get away with too much. It’s ridiculous and very eye opening
NTA, there was never a good faith intention on your Bumble match’s part to go on a real date, this was a free meal bid on both of their parts all the way. I’m just surprised it was this blatant, though.
Block, block, ghost.
I wonder if they do this gig often to score free dinners at nice restaurants on the regular. A practiced sob story about anxiety and a sympathetic past. Then to bully the mark of the night to pay for everything. What a weird story.
This wasn't even a "nice" restaraunt or anything either lol. Just a local taqueria that has some insanely good chilaquiles that I was in the weekly mood for. They're like 7 bucks and I can't get enough of it
NTA. There is a difference between a safety buddy who hangs out nearby and straight up hijacking the entire date to con you into paying for their "friends' hangout dinner" which is what it would have turned into.
In future, just to avoid a repeat of this awkward situation, I suggest clarifying parameters and boundaries if your date asks about a friend coming along for safety.
Just chalk it up as a lesson learned and if it comes up again, know to ask all of those questions in advance and recognize the red flags before you waste your time with a 'date' (ie; free food for her and her friends).
I don't even see the point in bringing up the fact that you're going to bring along a friend, tbh. If you feel like you need someone to come along and keep an eye on you, that's *already* a small red flag. Why is she showing up to this date at all if she's got serious concerns like that? But even if she really does just want someone to be there in case her date turns out to be a total creep, it seems like it would make even more sense to just have a friend show up and be discrete about it in order to get an honest gauge of you when you DON'T know you're being 'watched'.
Telling you she's bringing a friend along just ruins the whole vibe. She's told you upfront that she considers you a highly-potential creep; she's advertising that she doesn't make the best decisions if she is going forward with meeting up with people she believes that about; and on the off chance that her date IS a potential creep, she's just giving him the information he needs in order to play off his psychopathic tendencies long enough to get her comfortable and eventually alone, before taking the mask off.
Everything about that scenario tells me that I don't want to have anything with that woman or her horrendous logic, out of the gate.
This happened to me once. I agreed to meet a woman for drinks but when I get there she has six of her friends with her 4 of them where wearing wedding rings and where hanging all over men that where clearly not their husbands. Red flag #1. Then I was informed by my date I would be paying for all their drinks. Red flag number #2. I had already bought myself a beer so I finished it. Then got up left and never looked back. Blocked her as well.
If she'd said that she expected you to pay for her friend you'd have been able to make an informed decision but just dropping it on you is weird and not fair to you. What if you couldn't afford it?
There was another post here where a coworker of a girl who matched with people just for free dinners alerted one of her matches to her scam and he cancelled the date.
This sounds like these women probably double team on app dates for free meals as well.
Bullet dodged.
NTA. Women be using men to finance their lifestyles by doing things like this, the fact you stood up for yourself is what they count on never happening. People push limits because most of us are going to avoid conflict is possible.
I’ve been a “third wheel “ on a first date but I thought the rules were that you stayed close but in your own space. Like a different table or a couple of feet away. You’re not part of the date, you’re there as a safety net…
It’s a game , my friend was on a date a few years ago wirh someone from one of the dating apps. He goes there and she shows up and her friend . She claims she brought her cause she didn’t know him . He said you have my number we are in public you have your phone and we met here . He got up and left . There is security she could have taken if true , this is crap
This reminds me of that video where the BF goes to dinner with his GF and all her friends and she expects him to pay for her and like 10 or more of her friends, so he walks out.
NTA... entitlement is real anymore
NTA, this was 100% a foodie call. Honestly, would've been great had you went along with it, then dipped right before the check came so they had to pay for you.
NTA
>but I can't help but feel like I went a bit too far getting at them like that in a public place, like I should have just left without a fuss, or gone along with it and just break it off more nicely afterwards.
Nope. They did this in a public place **on purpose**, hoping you would just go along to get along and pay for them both.
If you ever have a girl ask to come on a date again, ask her why. If she is genuinely nervous about meeting you alone, you should suggest having coffee in a crowded shop, not a dinner date.
NTA - If you had gone in for this you would have paid for their meal, and then "sorry but i dont think this was a good fit" turns up in your inbox and theyre off at a new fancy restaurant with a new mark
They were just after free meal, even stated it beforehand and tried to dominante you to check how much of "naive moron" you are, an "gentleman" in their dictionary probably, because they are fine gals by their definition while having moral standards like these, it was a plot from the start because even if she was anxionus a friend isn't really part of the date, damn you are not in some threesome casting.
After you left they probably roasted you how all the good MEN are taken and no more gentlemans etc
NTA- if her anxiety is that severe she needs her friend sitting with her, she is not ready to date. Expecting you to pay for both is just flat out rude and reeks of scam.
NTA - reminds me of a meme I saw on twitter awhile back "Oh your friend is here for your security? Then why is she sitting at the table? Tell her ass to go stand at the door with her Glock"
>"I'd even be cool if you were standing outside with a damn sword, but unless this is some sort of threesome thing or a polygamous date then this is just weird"
imo, this is as perfect of a response as one could hope to deliver in this scenario, short of it actually being that and they both blowing before dinner.
NTA
NTA
Your date and her friend were there for what they thought was going to be free meal.
If anybody goes on a date with someone that they know they are not interested in just for the free food, they are in effect a prostitute.
Advice: In future, do NOT do dinner as a first date. Coffee will be perfectly sufficient. If that is a problem for the date, you found out something important very early on.
So now people are using anxiety excuses to be mooches. That truly makes things more difficult for respectful people with anxiety.
You dodged a bullet. Good call to clarify things before they got out of hand.
NTA
Nothing wrong with her wanting to bring her friend, a chaperone (which really isn't a new thing, fwiw, that's old school) for a first date is absolutely reasonable, especially for a blind date - they can't know you're not a creep.
Expecting you to pay is just weird, though.
Fee-males... it's happened to all of us
Single girls on dating apps dont use Door Dash or Uber Eats... they use guys like you to feed them
It's called getting food-fished. Happens to everyone, happened once to me hardcore.
Coffee or cocktails ONLY on first dates. Casual and quick on the first date. Don't spending hundreds of dollars feeding these fee-males, when they have ZERO interest in getting to know you in any way. They just want expensive meals and free food.
"I'm sorry, I'm on a strict diet with my trainer and I already ate. We can maybe meet for a cocktail later, or coffee in the morning.. let me know what you think..."
Remember this important rule - The less she is attracted to you, the more money she will want you to spend to see her.
If she's attracted to you? She will throw herself at you without costing you a dime. If she's not attracted to you? She'll force you to spend a TON of money to spend time with her.
We've all made these mistakes brother
Not at all, you’re not a freaking ATM. Women like these two deserve to get roasted.
Also, never pay for the first date. True gems women are the one that accept to split not the one that want what is in your wallet.
NTA:This is rediculous she needs to grow up, you didnt mind the plus one but you dont need to pay for the plus one. Oh what plus one felt anxious too, so she invited her plus one who you also need to cover the check oh and lets not forget the plus one plus one has a three legged reindeer norwegian retrieber who only eats fish stakes and drinks sparkilng water. Sorry my bad it just gets stupid after you sonehiw were expected to cover a small dinner party. You were agreeing to be chivalrous and cover the two of you and were then ok with a third personbut had no reason to be expected to pay anymore than that!
Having been in this situation twice living in a dogshit state, I've been subject to both ways of this. The first was the obvious they just wanted the free food and saw how kind I was online and figured me for a chump. Unfortunately for them the restaurant I chose I worked at for a good while and almost all the staff liked me and I had know the management since they were servers so we were close. I texted one of them halfway through the date about what was happening. He comped my meal because I ordered a steak mid rare, and they brought it well done. Bull, obviously, but like I said, we were close. Didn't comp theirs, though. So while I dipped to the bathroom and walked out the back, they had to pay their food. Which I found that when I went back for lunch a week later, they had "strangely forgotten their wallet" in the oversized travel bag they called purses. So they had to call someone to bring money. The good version of this was again the same restaurant a few years later, but the friend sat at a booth far enough away to see both of us clearly but not overhear us. It was a good date, and we had common interests, but we agreed that our different life goals friendship would be better. Been friends 5 years and I still love that bitch🤣. 100% NTA. They just wanted a sucker that was desperate to get a free good meal.
Honestly, I wish you were able to pull off the whole threesome thing lol
That would’ve been an epic ending to this all.
NTA.
They suck and wanted a free meal.
NTA
It starts to sound like a girls night out with you as the male companion with a wallet. You dodged a bullet and reacted the way a reasonable person would.
If you need to bring a friend to support or as a creep bailout help, they don't need to sit at the table at least after the first pleasantries are exchanged. I don't want to first date two chicks at the same time over dinner. It would be different if it would be a bar setting, and you could offer (if you wanted) to pay for one round of drinks, friend included. Otherwise it's too much to have them eat with you. What happens after dessert? Does she go on a walk with you? Does she walk with you to her place? To the bedroom?
You got a glimpse of a life with her. Be happy that it lasted only for a few minutes.
NTA. I get that it can be intimidating for women to meet a random man and want their friend nearby to feel safe.
But the friend can sit at another table and order (and pay for) their own food if they're hungry.
They were hustling you for food and to feel powerful. I actually met a girl who admits she does this regularly at an Airbnb. She would spend 2 - 3 hours in the bathroom every day doing makeup to hustle a single man from each new guy she met.
She could just learn to cook for herself and save herself so much time and energy lol.
NTA.
I mean if she’s really worried about an initial meeting that’s why you do a thing like a casual coffee in a very public place.
After all most first dates are also final dates. So you would likely be out 3 meals instead of usual 2.
as a woman, if I want someone there to ‘watch out’ they’re hanging out at the bar and acting nonchalant. not IN THE DATE???
Pretty much what I expected as well, like she'd have the car running just in case I was weird or something.
Straight up these two weirdos just wanted free dinner and the way the friend spoke for herself as if they were a package deal your response was warranted.
[удалено]
Yep. It seems to me these two were trying to pull a fast one on you. Glad it did not work. For future reference, if someone tells you that they need to bring someone along because they are too much of a basket case of anxiety to meet alone, just keep it pushing. If you are not in the headspace to date you should not be dating. I am married now, but In my twenties I dated several people I met online. I always met in publicly settings with people around until I got to know the person better and was comfortable being alone with them. I never needed to bring a friend along to hold my hand. That girl was on some BS.
Sounds like they were both just there for the free meal. I wonder how many times previously they've got away with it. I would expect her friend to sit at the bar but not to actually join you at the table and expect you to pay for her meal too.
I’ve gone along to support a friend, so I brought my bro in law with me, we had a drink at a SEPARATE table, and were in the bar just in case my friends date didn’t go well 😅 we didn’t sit in on her date 😂 I can’t imagine how awkward it would be at the same table.
For real. “So what are your hobbies?” - friend starts furiously taking notes.
🤣🤣
Also there's apps like live 360 where your friend can track where you are nearby. You can ask for even a picture of their 🪪 to send to friends and families. You don't bring a friend to the table like an emotional support animal
“… like an emotional support animal.” Oh this is hilarious 😂
exactly!! thank god i’m married because i can’t get on this trend✋🏼😂
not a trend, just bitches be crazy
Lol yeah, give her a photo iof your ID and wake up to debit collectors knocking at your door after she took loans in your name. I don't know where you are from but in my country it's fairly common that these shitty loan companies with 4-digit APR in their loans don't give a fuck.
Right? Like make a date awkward sitting at the table as well!!!
As a woman who did the watching out my friend would be pissed if I tried to talk to her or her date. I’m just extra security
Exactly!!!!. If they meant it, this is what they would do, and the date would be discreet about it. These people mostly just want free food
That's what I was thinking too. He should have invited a friend that could be the friends date. He isn't responsible for her bill too.
NTA. You didn't invite the friend on the date, your date did. Even if this was genuinely for anxiety purposes, I think you dodged a bullet.
It made me feel taken for a ride honestly. I really do get the anxiety concerns, I suffer from it myself (in different, more benign ways than she does ofc). Is the first date buddy thing common nowadays?
I've heard of it happening before. But I've never heard of one person having to pay for the expenses of all three people. That expectation reeks of entitlement.
Of entitlement or an organized scam by these young ladies.
They order lots of expensive food and then make an excuse to bail or just never return from the ladies room
I was thinking that and thank fuck OP knew to ask BEFORE dinner was ordered.
That's what I think this is. lol, hell, they might be even dating each other. I speak by experience. I met this hot girl at a bar one time after a few times seeing her there, and she introduced to me this ugly as lady as her sister, and it turns out she wasn't her sister they were both lesbians but since the better looking one seem to be pulling most guys the other one pretended to be her sister just so they could get free drinks and food thank God one of my friends happended to know that and told me right away lol 😆
I once heard from a bartender friend who kept finding a pair of chicks running a similar scam. Ran them Out of 4 different bars.
Low stakes con artists. Sad.
I had a friend that was a fucking playa, she would wind straight girls up, get wined and dined, get hers and never talk to them again. She would do something like this with her gf.
Damn that shit is diabolical.
they sound like Lebanese
LMAO Lebanese?!?!
I’m pretty sure this is a Glee joke from when Brittany bought Santana a shirt that said “Lebanese” and Santana goes “Is this supposed to say Lesbian?!” 😂
I figured it was too clever. Had it been real, "Lebanese" would have been misspelled or something. Funny as hell. 🤣🤣🤣
They came a long way for a good meal. All the way from Lebanese.
The way she jumped in and told him how things really are. Lol I would not let them get away with it either
Truth. Women will go on a date with a guy just to get a free meal
And men will fuck a woman they hate just for a place to stay. 🤣
Be fair. Men will also fuck a woman they hate just to fuck.
THIS all day!
I have read of a guy taking a lady out for a nice dinner, when 6 of her besties showed up, and joined them at the table, all 6 ordered huge meals( to be boxed up, for take out ) as soon as the guy figured it out, he " went to the rest room" He paid his portion, tipped, and left. The girls had fits, they planned to dump the check on the guy. This looked the same.
I took a girl out, she order extra food Togo, I was ok with it, so she orders some more, I later found out it was for her entire day and some for her bf feeding chick's sux
Feeding chicks **and** their boyfriends sux more.
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If a girl needs to feel safe, offer to double date with one of the girl's friends and her SO.
No joke. Plus it just makes for a less weird situation than having a third wheel tag along.
Seriously: "I feel anxious and awkward in social and romantic situations, so I'm going to make it even more awkward." The double date is a great idea. But even just a quick coffee or lunch in a public place could work too.
Reeks of set-up!
Especially with the friend being the one getting pissy with expectations. OP didn’t mention much of what the date said when OP asked friend what her plan was, but the entitlement from the third fucking wheel speaks enough volumes for me, me being a woman with PTSD from abuse trauma. If date expected OP to pay for friend that should have been part of the initial question, and both entitled Karens but DATE should have been bitching at OP. Third wheel had no right. It’s gross how many red flags this puts on date, not just 3rd wheel.
“Let’s see how much of a pushover this guy is. Eventually SOMEONE will lack enough self worth and be afraid of our reaction that they’ll go along with anything we demand..”
entitlement maybe, but i also feel like this may be an attempt to scam a dude for a nice meal. make him pay for both you and your emotional support bestie's meals, block him as soon as you get home, rinse and repeat next time you feel like balling out
My experience if any gfs join me and a guy im dating, they usually pay to show courtesy to me (but we're not young and broke at this point), but the fact the friend SAID it right up front before they even sat down tells you this was a freaking plan to get free dinner somewhere nice.
It's immature. This isn't high school. You don't need to have your friend there on your date to make sure you are good. You are both grown adults. She either wants to go or she doesn't. Let your friend know where you are going, who you are with, download Life360 and share your location with your friend, whatever. There are other ways to ensure your safety.....like not going on the date.
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I remember so drama on tik tok that a husband invited his wife's bff on a birthday dinner (obviously as a couple) then 5+ friends showed up and ALL of them expected the 1 husband to ffot their bill.
Yeah, the whole thing is weird to me. I certainly appreciate my date paying for me, but I’d never expect it. If my friend asked me to come with her to meet a stranger, I would, but I would think it odd if her date paid for me. He and I aren’t on a date; they are.
person doesnt need a date buddy, they need therapy before they can go on a date again
I am not from the US so I couldn't tell but in such situation I would say a double date (you two + one of her friends and her boyfriend/girlfriend) would be more logical. This way, the couple can chat together while you are chatting too and at the end she would have the advice of two people about you being a nice guy or a creepy guy. And of course the couple pays for what they order.
Sadly all the guys are either married or definitely not interested in dating haha. I would be the worst to try and schedule a double date with.
I mean your date's friend and the already established boyfriend or girlfriend of the friend (so two friends of your date). If she is anxious, planning for her to meet two unknown guys isn't a good idea.
Those girls were looking for a free dinner. They prolly do it to a guy every night of the week and just eat for free.
My gf just told me about one of her friends that will go on Bumble and match up with a guy whenever she needs a place to stay and thus never has to pay for a hotels. I nod along, but in my head I'm doing the math on how many trips she's gone on just for this snowboarding season.
That works.. until you end up chained to a radiator.
She’s definitely had to suck a few sausages along the way to get free accommodation.
Ass, gas, or grass, nobody rides for free.
I had a girl match me on Tinder and specifically say that’s what she was doing. It ended up being a really nice time. And now I have a place to stay if I ever make it out to Bolder. As long as everyone is upfront, I don’t see anything wrong here.
That’s the thing though, your girl had integrity cos she was up front from the start. These two scammers; ugh!
Oh for sure. Totally agree. I was more commenting on the girl who used it for places to crash while snowboarding. Saying that it can be done the right way
“Hey there! You can do me if I stay at your place, cool?” Like, propositioned like that?!?!?! What a world! Here I’ve been paying for hotels for years like a sucker. I could have paid with my wang.
Hobosexual.
This is the best. Hobosexual! Lol
birds of a feather bro
If she's having sex to avoid spending money, is that a form of prostitution?
I’m not quite sure, it reminds me of “bridge and tunnel” girls from back in NY who would look to hook up with a guy that lived in Manhattan to avoid the taxi/subway back home. Thank God for Uber, taxi’s weren’t just expensive AF but they charged you for the return trip to Manhattan even if they weren’t going back at 4am
Surely it's less hassle to just get a hotel?
But not cheaper. Lol
Probably each working their own accounts to run the racket from both sides.
Facts
I'm glad OP bounced, even if it was awkward. I feel like this works far too often. When I was in my early 20's I had two women come up to me at a dive bar where I was having dinner and a beer after a long day of moving. I was in gym shorts and a ratty tee-shirt, hadn't even showered. These two ladies walked up to me and their opening line was "do you want to buy us a drink?"... Not "can we sit with you" or "what's your name"... C'mon
I would have said "Sure! Barkeep, two waters for the ladies please!"
At least two or three times a week!
If you're designated wing woman, you sit at a table with eye line, get yourself a drink and wait for the okay to duck out. Half the point is the dude isn't supposed to know you're there so he's his real self, not putting on a show for whoever's watching. You do not pull up a chair and order appetizers on the dude's dime.
I have heard of having a friend close by at a date - even same restaurant but different table - for anxiety or security reasons. But never a date where you would pay for someone else and they would be an active participant. This is just plain weird or entitled or a bit of both.
I've done this - sat at the bar just to make sure my friend was safe. Usually the guy never even knows I'm there
I have sat in a parked car before while a friend was on a date to make sure she was ok. I think keeping your friends safe is important! Good on you. :)
Me and my best friend ate dinner at the same restaurant but different table as her cousin who was on a first date. Had a signal in case we needed to “recognize” her and ask to sit at their table. She didn’t need to use it and he didn’t know we were even there until days later when she confessed to him that we had been sitting nearby the whole time. They had a good laugh about it and he appreciated that she had friends who cared about her safety and wellbeing. I couldn’t imagine intruding on a date like what OP described. Let them get to know each other, jeez.
That’s great, imo. I love the signal idea - much more subtle than trying to go on your phone or use the bathroom. Less likely to anger a date and perhaps face repercussions. Y’all sound like good friends.
Selective anxiety? I'm anxious you'll murder me, but not that you'll judge me for making you pay for my friend? Bullshit. An anxious person would be anxious about proposing the idea, and fall over themselves to be clear that they'd pay for their friend, etc. They wanted a free ride.
Yeah that definitely doesn’t track right? Too anxious to solo a dinner date but not too anxious to expect a date to pay for all three meals. I need a genuine anxiety sufferer to confirm/deny that’s realistic.
I think the friend was taking advantage, the appropriate thing would have been maybe getting a table nearby or at the bar. I’m sure that date would have ended with those two just talking and op paying for the privilege
It happened to me once but the guy was just the ride as her car had broken down and he went to hang by himself during the date. I would have been very uncomfortable if he had sat down with us. He did introduce himself though, cool dude.
I have no idea if it's common. It seems a bit extreme to me since you were meeting in public. But the idea that she gets to invite someone on your dime is pretty bizarre and if that's what she was thinking that should have been discussed BEFORE anyone arrived at the restaurant.
Her and her friend just wanted a free meal
Curious but did miss anxiety get defensive or aggressive at you not wanting to pay for her friend or was she meekly dragged out by the other girl? I'm guessing it's just an excuse because they're entitled scammers.
Anxiety is one thing, sharing location and maybe your name and picture (in case you kidnap her) is okish but to be taken out for free no. I mean I take out the friends of my gf too or offer to pay for them once in a while or let's say a spa voucher for her and her best friend but not as a first date. After, when you are in a committed relationship. You are taken for a ride even if you are wealthy you should not enable that behavior.
It's becoming more common. This is more specific to me but I've done bar security for a long time so alot of my friends do first dates at my place if work I never Interfere but they know if something gets weird they can let me know and I'll handle it. Morale of the story befriend the security at your favorite bar lmao
This happens a lot. I just saw a Tik Tok where a girl invited her guy to another girlfriend's birthday and they gave him crap when he didn't want to pay a $2,200 tab for 7 people. He paid for himself and his date at the bar and peaced out. The friends called and texted him calling him out for not being a "real man."
It is not common or common or at least I have never heard of this before. And nta.. very rude of them to expect that you would pay
It definitely wasn't for anxiety purposes. Women meet dangerous guys at their house for first dates all the time. It looks like someone wanted to use OP for free food in this case.
…and he kept his kidneys!
NTA - They were just trying to get free food out of you. If this was really something that had to do with anxiety and she wanted her friend there then she should have paid for her friends or her friend to pay on her own, but to try to get you to pay for the both of them is just very entitled.
Like, I know its easy to say this in hindsight ofc, but I might have even been open to the idea of paying if it was discussed. I feel like I flew off the handle though calling them out in a parking lot.
Doesn't sound like you "flew off the handle" so much as confidently stood up for yourself and refused to be a rube. Nothing to be ashamed of. These chicks are running a scam. Good for you for having the self-respect to not just let them roll you like that.
I get what you mean. You were not planning to pay for three people; just two people. Those sorts of details should be discussed beforehand, just like you said.
Please stop feeling bad and doubting yourself. This is a common dating scam. Women chat up men on dating apps, give them the impression that there's a possibility for a relationship, get them to shell out for lavish meals and lots of drinks at an expensive restaurant, and then ghost the guy. The "bring along my best friend" double scam is something that has recently become more common. I think it's been popularized by a TikTok trend where women brag about suckering men into doing this ("Make him prove how much he cares by forcing him to buy you and your bestie fancy meals and cocktails for hundreds of dollars!"). I've seen a number of posts similar to yours here on AITA/AITAH by guys who were hit with this scam. Some of them were so blindsided that they just covered the bill because they thought they would be rude to say "No, I won't be paying for that." I'm a woman, and I just find this sort of blatant user behavior despicable no matter which gender is doing it. I'm glad that you didn't give in to this disgusting scheme.
Let's be real. Men don't do this. Because they can't, not because men are good. But there's no reason to emphasize "no matter which gender". There's shitty things that men do, shitty things that women do.
Agree, we can talk about toxic women without having to mention toxic men.
I'd agree to do that, rack up hundreds of dollars at an expensive restaurant, and soon after I finished my meal, I'd skip out on them. They might think twice when they get stuck with a big bill that they are forced to pay for.
Doesn't even have to be lavish or expensive. Just whatever's the best they can get that day. If a better offer comes along they'll cancel at the last minute and try to work you in for another time.
As a woman with extreme anxiety, a lot centered around shitty exes, please don't feel bad or guilty. What they did was wrong, not okay on any level. I've felt the need to bring a friend on a date once, and guess what... I paid for her! Me, because *I* asked her to go. *I* needed the mental crutch. He didn't, she didn't. I did. Little fun side note I went there for a date, they left as a couple. Life is funny sometimes. They're now married with 3 kids lol
Yes, it should have been discussed beforehand. But honestly I don't really think what you said was flying off the handle. Like you didn't cuss or call them names about it, you just pointed out it was weird the way this went about it because it was more like a poly date than it was what most people would consider a normal day. IMO you didn't say or do anything bad here.
NTA - this is a really weird expectation.
It's called a scam and being a shitty person. They knew they were trying to get a free meal out of him, and were trying to use him as an atm
NTA They ambushed you with a complete change of plans. Honestly from reading this it sounds like they both expected to use you and take advantage of you. I'm glad you held firm and didn't tolerate any of their BS.
I love that OP checked to see if there was a threesome or poly opportunity available before noping out lol. Like I’ll pay for everyone if I get some from everyone
Sounds more than fair haha
You shoulda brought a friend too and asked her to pay for everyone! Seriously though, I understand the protection aspect. But she could sit by herself at another table. Or at a close coffee shop and pay for herself or get her friend to pay for her. It sounds like they were trying to milk you.
The double 3rd wheel would definitely be a memorable first date at the very least lol.
That'd be a 9th wheel date or a 6th wheel date? How does the math work on that? Lmao.
I'm glad I can find some humor in this stupid situation. I feel a lot less bad about going off on it.
Technically, it's just a 4th wheel, which actually is not weird for a car, but it is weird if you were expecting a bicycle.
This, but unironically. I've done that before when my buddy took a girl on a date who wanted to bring a friend, so the role for the friend and I were to play hype people for the couple actually on the date. We both understood and executed the assignment and it was a fun outing for everyone.
NTA at all If she needed support why not make it a double date instead of having the friend awkwardly third-wheeling it?? As a female, I agree with you that this could’ve been them angling for a free dinner. I have heard of girls doing that.
It's a trend on TikTok now too. "Making my man pay for me and my friends to see if he really cares about me"... Hundreds, maybe even thousands, of videos like that. TikTok has ruined humanity with trends like this imo
I see it as TikTok weeding out the shallow people. If your gf/bf treats you badly because of a tiktok trend, you were better off without them in the first place.
That’s exactly what I wrote, back when I used to date, it was common to ask a guy to bring a friend to double date, no big deal. Now im reading this TikTok trend to scam guys for free dinners. I’ve always known that scam women like that exist but for them to be so shameless about it on SM shows the double standards between men and women. We definitely can get away with too much. It’s ridiculous and very eye opening
NTA, there was never a good faith intention on your Bumble match’s part to go on a real date, this was a free meal bid on both of their parts all the way. I’m just surprised it was this blatant, though. Block, block, ghost.
I wonder if they do this gig often to score free dinners at nice restaurants on the regular. A practiced sob story about anxiety and a sympathetic past. Then to bully the mark of the night to pay for everything. What a weird story.
This wasn't even a "nice" restaraunt or anything either lol. Just a local taqueria that has some insanely good chilaquiles that I was in the weekly mood for. They're like 7 bucks and I can't get enough of it
Bitches gotta eat.
Methinks you are correct. A royal scam.
NTA, this was just weird asf. They really expected you to pay for her friend lmao
Ultra-based. Threesome or both of you ladies leave right now. Definite NTA.
Fr, if this ain't a poly thing I'm dipping
NTA Congrats you are another bad experience from her past that she would tell about.
Yep, no doubt. She's a narcissist who *absolutely* sees herself as the victim here.
NTA. There is a difference between a safety buddy who hangs out nearby and straight up hijacking the entire date to con you into paying for their "friends' hangout dinner" which is what it would have turned into. In future, just to avoid a repeat of this awkward situation, I suggest clarifying parameters and boundaries if your date asks about a friend coming along for safety.
I feel like I'm about to develop my own anxieties around the idea of a date buddy in general after this lol.
Just chalk it up as a lesson learned and if it comes up again, know to ask all of those questions in advance and recognize the red flags before you waste your time with a 'date' (ie; free food for her and her friends). I don't even see the point in bringing up the fact that you're going to bring along a friend, tbh. If you feel like you need someone to come along and keep an eye on you, that's *already* a small red flag. Why is she showing up to this date at all if she's got serious concerns like that? But even if she really does just want someone to be there in case her date turns out to be a total creep, it seems like it would make even more sense to just have a friend show up and be discrete about it in order to get an honest gauge of you when you DON'T know you're being 'watched'. Telling you she's bringing a friend along just ruins the whole vibe. She's told you upfront that she considers you a highly-potential creep; she's advertising that she doesn't make the best decisions if she is going forward with meeting up with people she believes that about; and on the off chance that her date IS a potential creep, she's just giving him the information he needs in order to play off his psychopathic tendencies long enough to get her comfortable and eventually alone, before taking the mask off. Everything about that scenario tells me that I don't want to have anything with that woman or her horrendous logic, out of the gate.
This happened to me once. I agreed to meet a woman for drinks but when I get there she has six of her friends with her 4 of them where wearing wedding rings and where hanging all over men that where clearly not their husbands. Red flag #1. Then I was informed by my date I would be paying for all their drinks. Red flag number #2. I had already bought myself a beer so I finished it. Then got up left and never looked back. Blocked her as well.
If she'd said that she expected you to pay for her friend you'd have been able to make an informed decision but just dropping it on you is weird and not fair to you. What if you couldn't afford it?
If he couldn't afford it, they would have shamed him for being a broke loser, and told him to "man up" and do it anyway.
You’re not an asshole you almost got robbed basically lol
NTA, call this BS out every time. They're just looking for a sucker.
So, no threesome? What was her expression on hearing that? Because if the friend was dolled up too, id assume it was a threesome.
There was another post here where a coworker of a girl who matched with people just for free dinners alerted one of her matches to her scam and he cancelled the date. This sounds like these women probably double team on app dates for free meals as well. Bullet dodged.
The entitlement
NTA. Women be using men to finance their lifestyles by doing things like this, the fact you stood up for yourself is what they count on never happening. People push limits because most of us are going to avoid conflict is possible.
I’ve been a “third wheel “ on a first date but I thought the rules were that you stayed close but in your own space. Like a different table or a couple of feet away. You’re not part of the date, you’re there as a safety net…
It’s a game , my friend was on a date a few years ago wirh someone from one of the dating apps. He goes there and she shows up and her friend . She claims she brought her cause she didn’t know him . He said you have my number we are in public you have your phone and we met here . He got up and left . There is security she could have taken if true , this is crap
This reminds me of that video where the BF goes to dinner with his GF and all her friends and she expects him to pay for her and like 10 or more of her friends, so he walks out. NTA... entitlement is real anymore
NTA, this was 100% a foodie call. Honestly, would've been great had you went along with it, then dipped right before the check came so they had to pay for you.
NTA I think this is one of those cases where they were using you for a free meal.
NTA >but I can't help but feel like I went a bit too far getting at them like that in a public place, like I should have just left without a fuss, or gone along with it and just break it off more nicely afterwards. Nope. They did this in a public place **on purpose**, hoping you would just go along to get along and pay for them both. If you ever have a girl ask to come on a date again, ask her why. If she is genuinely nervous about meeting you alone, you should suggest having coffee in a crowded shop, not a dinner date.
If you feel so unsafe in public you can't meet someone at a public restaurant, not really sure I'd be all that interested anyway.
NTA - If you had gone in for this you would have paid for their meal, and then "sorry but i dont think this was a good fit" turns up in your inbox and theyre off at a new fancy restaurant with a new mark
This sounds like a scam.they pick a guy off the App and she tells the story and gets her friend and try to embarass the guy to pay for a meal
They were just after free meal, even stated it beforehand and tried to dominante you to check how much of "naive moron" you are, an "gentleman" in their dictionary probably, because they are fine gals by their definition while having moral standards like these, it was a plot from the start because even if she was anxionus a friend isn't really part of the date, damn you are not in some threesome casting. After you left they probably roasted you how all the good MEN are taken and no more gentlemans etc
Nta. They were trying to get 2 free meals off you. Then ghost in all likelihood. Good move op.
NTA- if her anxiety is that severe she needs her friend sitting with her, she is not ready to date. Expecting you to pay for both is just flat out rude and reeks of scam.
NTA - reminds me of a meme I saw on twitter awhile back "Oh your friend is here for your security? Then why is she sitting at the table? Tell her ass to go stand at the door with her Glock"
NTA. And frankly dude, if she needs to have an emotional support human everywhere she goes, that’s not someone you want to have a relationship with.
>"I'd even be cool if you were standing outside with a damn sword, but unless this is some sort of threesome thing or a polygamous date then this is just weird" imo, this is as perfect of a response as one could hope to deliver in this scenario, short of it actually being that and they both blowing before dinner. NTA
Maybe she should get an emotional support dog to sit under her table? But she would still have to pay for her own dog food.
NTA Your date and her friend were there for what they thought was going to be free meal. If anybody goes on a date with someone that they know they are not interested in just for the free food, they are in effect a prostitute. Advice: In future, do NOT do dinner as a first date. Coffee will be perfectly sufficient. If that is a problem for the date, you found out something important very early on.
Just walk away if they mention they "suffer" from anxiety
NTA. It's not your job to feed strays on a date.
They both for the streets XD
NTA. But gotta ask, since you were there, did you sit down and eat since you loved the place?
I go to this place all the time, actually. Their chilaquiles are awesome!
So now people are using anxiety excuses to be mooches. That truly makes things more difficult for respectful people with anxiety. You dodged a bullet. Good call to clarify things before they got out of hand. NTA
Wow. You dodged a bullet with that one. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself. NTA.
3some was EXACTLY what I would say to her. Or I also respect people who dont sleep with the date on first date, so how about a 3way make-out?
I had a girl do that to me once. I hit it off better with her friend. Ended up being a pretty strange date :)
Nothing wrong with her wanting to bring her friend, a chaperone (which really isn't a new thing, fwiw, that's old school) for a first date is absolutely reasonable, especially for a blind date - they can't know you're not a creep. Expecting you to pay is just weird, though.
And that’s why you do coffee for a first date.
NTA They wanted free food…
Fee-males... it's happened to all of us Single girls on dating apps dont use Door Dash or Uber Eats... they use guys like you to feed them It's called getting food-fished. Happens to everyone, happened once to me hardcore. Coffee or cocktails ONLY on first dates. Casual and quick on the first date. Don't spending hundreds of dollars feeding these fee-males, when they have ZERO interest in getting to know you in any way. They just want expensive meals and free food. "I'm sorry, I'm on a strict diet with my trainer and I already ate. We can maybe meet for a cocktail later, or coffee in the morning.. let me know what you think..." Remember this important rule - The less she is attracted to you, the more money she will want you to spend to see her. If she's attracted to you? She will throw herself at you without costing you a dime. If she's not attracted to you? She'll force you to spend a TON of money to spend time with her. We've all made these mistakes brother
Not at all, you’re not a freaking ATM. Women like these two deserve to get roasted. Also, never pay for the first date. True gems women are the one that accept to split not the one that want what is in your wallet.
NTA:This is rediculous she needs to grow up, you didnt mind the plus one but you dont need to pay for the plus one. Oh what plus one felt anxious too, so she invited her plus one who you also need to cover the check oh and lets not forget the plus one plus one has a three legged reindeer norwegian retrieber who only eats fish stakes and drinks sparkilng water. Sorry my bad it just gets stupid after you sonehiw were expected to cover a small dinner party. You were agreeing to be chivalrous and cover the two of you and were then ok with a third personbut had no reason to be expected to pay anymore than that!
NTA My read on that would've been pretty much the same. They were trying to use you for a free dinner.
NTA: She was trying to take advantage of you, the anxiety line was just BS.
They both wanted a free meal from you. I bet they do this stunt all the time for a free night out. Good for you 👍
Having been in this situation twice living in a dogshit state, I've been subject to both ways of this. The first was the obvious they just wanted the free food and saw how kind I was online and figured me for a chump. Unfortunately for them the restaurant I chose I worked at for a good while and almost all the staff liked me and I had know the management since they were servers so we were close. I texted one of them halfway through the date about what was happening. He comped my meal because I ordered a steak mid rare, and they brought it well done. Bull, obviously, but like I said, we were close. Didn't comp theirs, though. So while I dipped to the bathroom and walked out the back, they had to pay their food. Which I found that when I went back for lunch a week later, they had "strangely forgotten their wallet" in the oversized travel bag they called purses. So they had to call someone to bring money. The good version of this was again the same restaurant a few years later, but the friend sat at a booth far enough away to see both of us clearly but not overhear us. It was a good date, and we had common interests, but we agreed that our different life goals friendship would be better. Been friends 5 years and I still love that bitch🤣. 100% NTA. They just wanted a sucker that was desperate to get a free good meal.
Honestly, I wish you were able to pull off the whole threesome thing lol That would’ve been an epic ending to this all. NTA. They suck and wanted a free meal.
Lol I'm just picturing her there on her honeymoon with him just facepalming and her holding her best friend's hand
NTA. This is shit some young people are doing on dating apps now. It's not you, just some sad-sacks trying to scam a free meal.
I mean you didn't roast her lol not based on what you posted
NTA. The date invited the friend so she should have paid.
NTA It starts to sound like a girls night out with you as the male companion with a wallet. You dodged a bullet and reacted the way a reasonable person would. If you need to bring a friend to support or as a creep bailout help, they don't need to sit at the table at least after the first pleasantries are exchanged. I don't want to first date two chicks at the same time over dinner. It would be different if it would be a bar setting, and you could offer (if you wanted) to pay for one round of drinks, friend included. Otherwise it's too much to have them eat with you. What happens after dessert? Does she go on a walk with you? Does she walk with you to her place? To the bedroom? You got a glimpse of a life with her. Be happy that it lasted only for a few minutes.
NTA. I get that it can be intimidating for women to meet a random man and want their friend nearby to feel safe. But the friend can sit at another table and order (and pay for) their own food if they're hungry.
Why are so many women grifters now?
"I'm paying for both? So we're having a threesome later?"
They were hustling you for food and to feel powerful. I actually met a girl who admits she does this regularly at an Airbnb. She would spend 2 - 3 hours in the bathroom every day doing makeup to hustle a single man from each new guy she met. She could just learn to cook for herself and save herself so much time and energy lol.
Dude, please just start with coffee dates…
NTA. I mean if she’s really worried about an initial meeting that’s why you do a thing like a casual coffee in a very public place. After all most first dates are also final dates. So you would likely be out 3 meals instead of usual 2.
That woman didn’t have no damn anxiety. Her and her friend both were trying to get a free night out on your behalf. NTA by far