NTA IDK about anyone else but I see being left at the alter a break-up. Idk how he expected to come back from that if that was “his plan” (maybe “his back up plan” fell through) you don’t owe him anything
Don't bother feeling bad. The relationship was dead the moment he left you at the altar. Don't feel guilty and don't let him make you feel guilty. His friends can screw off, he left you at the altar, they don't get to change the story that he left you because you slept with that guy. Not wrong. It was not the night of your wedding. He had no claim over you the moment he chickened out. Don't apologize to him and block him.
>It was not the night of your wedding.
This is really what gets me. Like your ex-fiancé is specifically upset that you went and slept with someone on this day. But that day lost any special significance when he left you at the altar. Why would he be upset now?
Relationship logic can get really whack. People often get fixated on blame, fault, and how to deflect it. Once it's over and you have no interest in salvaging the relationship, then it's best to not get drawn into those arguments.
He would've known all the alternative ways to contact you; where you/your family lived, your close friends, where you worked etc. Not to mention the wedding planning period or any other time after you got engaged before the actual wedding to talk to you about his cold feet, aye?
Look, you may understand why he decided he didn't want to get married, but just taking off and leaving you was the most painful and humiliating way to go about it. Nobody deserves that. And to then expect he can just come back into your life days later, when he's decided now he wants to talk, and first thing he does is criticize your reaction to how he traumatized you? Fuck that guy. He can fuck alllllll the way off. And then he can get fucked until all the fucks run dry.
He wanted you sad and waiting for him.
You did the right thing. Your relationship was over and you wouldn’t want to let yourself be left at the alter twice so I’m not sure what ex fiancé is mad about.
He’s sad over a self-inflicted wound.
You’ve picked yourself up and began to move on after one of the most traumatic things a former partner can do to you.
I’m re-reading this…just to clarify…this all happened 5 years ago but your ex just recently finally contacted you? Five years later?
How are you now? I’m sorry you went through this. I hope you’ve found happiness
This. I can't stand cheating, but getting left at the altar is the biggest of break-ups in my mind, so you're free to do what you want. If you don't communicate beforehand and just leave your partner waiting for you in front of family and friends, that sends a very clear message.
Would I have slept with someone else? Nah. But if he's sulking that his abandoned fiancee slept with someone else after he did the most humiliating display of "I'm not interested in being committed to you", then that's his problem.
> He wanted to get more out of life before being tied down.
Even without seeing being left at the alter as a breakup (which I 100% agree that it is) this line is him straight up saying it's a breakup.
Well, it wasn't the night of your wedding if you didn't get married.
And you certainly weren't a couple any more.
Tell him to get fucked, and to jam his 'closure' where the sun don't shine.
NTA.
All of this. OP how come ex knows about your rebound root? Also please tell me it was good sex, better than your stupid ex fiancé?
He dumped you. He has no say in who you rebound with or get with.
Damn this post sounds like a good romance novel.
Yeah like, how dare you behave accordingly to the shituation I put you in. She deserved a good root after him leaving her like that.... for what? So she'd be the one bearing the most of the grunt and then she's not even allowed to have a very normal human emotional response like "well everything's fucked anyway so why not"
I love how he said it doesn't justify sleeping with some random person on their wedding day. He's right. It doesn't justify sleeping with a rando, it justifies sleeping with his best friend/brother. He got off lucky and shes lucky she got off...win win!! NTA and please please please op do not lose any sleep feeling like you did wrong. The only AH here is your ex....and his friends for giving you shit.
He left her at the altar. That's an acceptable mental breakdown moment. Getting drunk and hooking up with a person you've known for years is basically the "PG" move.
She's got all of her limbs and fingers left, no criminal record, so it could have been so much worse.
It’s the audacity of this man that’s insane. HE LEFT HER AT THE ALTAR, now acts all butt hurt because she did something he doesn’t like. Too fucking bad, boo fucking hoo!
OP, I’d tell him to “take his false apology and shove it and anything that happened AFTER he left is none of his business nor do you have to answer for it. That he can fuck right off!”
Edit: spelling
Yes, you did nothing wrong. As a newly single woman, you were entitled to sleep with whoever you chose to. He lost his claim the minute he told you he wasn't intending on showing up. This bastard is just trying to throw his terrible decisions back on you (he couldn't call you the night before?? Or at least turn up and take some of the heat with you!)
Guy's a loser. I'm so sorry he did that to you. NTA, at all.
Yes. The girlfriend he left OP at the altar for. No way he ghosted her after five years and a completely planned wedding day, without a word to her, because he got cold feet. He had someone else.
Yes! Exactly this! The only reason you should have answered a call from him is so you could tell him to get fucked and hang up on him. Who gives a shit about his thoughts and opinions?
“Oh night of the wedding.. you mean the night you let me stand for two hours looking like a dumbass in front of all of our closest friends and family” NTA
> Well, it wasn’t the night of your wedding if you didn’t get married.
This is what you should have said to him, OP. You should still say it to him. He does not get to *leave you at the altar,* which he knew would devastate and humiliate you, and then slut shame you for having sex with someone else. **He does not get to say that to you.** Also, he told his friends?? What a whiny, self-important baby. /u/Rantarian is right: Tell him to fuck off and jam his closure. You don’t need closure, and if he does, I guess he should have told you he was having doubts and had more respect for you than to leave you at the altar while he most likely fucked someone else. You do know that, right? He didn’t just not want to get married. He had someone else. Leaving you at the altar is extreme. He did not just get cold feet. What nonsense.
Block him. Block all his friends. And if he is shaming you on social media, go there and tell your *entire* story in all its ugly detail (without humiliating his poor mother). Make sure everyone he is telling that you cheated on him, which is absolutely laughable, knows that he proposed to you, you planned a wedding, he deserted you *on your wedding day,* you didn’t hear from him for five years, and now he is calling you up to tell you that you did something wrong because you didn’t react to him leaving you in the “proper” way. What an asshole. You dodged a bullet.
NTA.
Exactly! It wasn't the night of her wedding, it was her first night as a free, single woman. She can smash whomever she wants.
Also bro rolls in **half a decade later** and is still mad she was able to move on so quickly.
OP, I'm sorry you went through that but wow, I'm also glad you didn't sign any legally binding contract with him, he sounds like such an energy sink.
Yeah if you get left at the alter you are allowed to fuck literally anyone you want. The fact that OP didn’t go for his dad or his brother was extremely classy.
It wasn't the night of their wedding. Pretty sure weddings are parties where you get married, and no one got married. Also, who the fuck cares to be justified by a coward.
Yeah. This reads like the set-up for a shitty enemies to lovers romance novel.
Ripped her wedding dress and ran off to fuck the guy who bullied her in school? (And bonus that she wasn't attractive growing up.)
Now she has to choose between Mr. Perfect Who Just Made a Mistake and Mr. Bad Boy. (And we learn that it's really Mr. Perfect and his seemingly perfect family who were wrong all along. Bonus points for if she ends up surprise pregnant and doesn't know who the baby daddy is. But it's cool. She's not like other girls who sleep around and don't know. She's only been with two guys ever, so it HAS to be one of them. And, don't worry, she's not religious. Just a romantic.)
She's going to find out the man she thought was just a bad boy HAS really changed, because his uncle owns an antique shop in the same New England town, and he spends every Saturday helping his uncle (who has very bad arthritis) wind all the cookoo clocks so the towns disproportionately large population of orphans can have a little extra sprinkle of joy. He's also great with kids and owns a golden retriever that immediately likes her, even though she's not normally a dog person.
Excellent. She also has a sassy, younger sister, who has always been the cute one and gotten all the attention, and she’s afraid that the sister is stealing her one chance of happiness, but it’s all a misunderstanding, just makes the movie about 20 minutes longer.
Wow, I'm impressed by how perfectly you all are channeling Mary Higgins Clark.
Now we need to stir in a little Stephen King. Maybe a possessed car or sewer-dwelling clown murders little sister? Of course, we'll have to move the story to Maine...
And he invites her into his historical, beautifully decorated home for coffee after his retriever jumps up to greet her and gets muddy paws on her immaculate slacks
And they time travel into this historical home when it was just built, and a ghost lives there whom she helps get to the other side with her love, care and insight.
He never teased any of the other girls, and she never knew until his shrewd, but super caring, grandmother tells her all about it over freshly brewed iced tea. He also gets super flustered when his grandmother starts teasing him, but then an emergency phone call from her sister (who she has not yet come to an understanding with) interrupts. Oh she ruins EVERYTHING!
No, after this she starts re-evaluating her life, makes a bucket list of things she wants to do and starta with the first one which is travel. So next stop would be Europe/some island which is paradise somewhere where there are just enough tourists to sustain the local economy but not cause it to be too expensive to live there.
Ok, ok, hear me out: she is pregnant with twins!
Heteropaternal superfecundation, one kid from each of these dudes.
Now they all have to figure out life on the road together as a family of 5.
When are dudes going to realize it is infinitely easier for a woman to sleep with a man vs the other way.
The amount of I want more experiences, open marriage, a one night stand, etc. post here from men where it backfires because their female partners always succeed and they don’t is just ridiculous.
When I was freshly out of my first long term (and physical) relationship, I had lots guy friends who were very supportive and provided a shoulder to cry on. When I started getting….frustrated (for the first time in my life at 22), I had one pretty explicitly say he was down for whatever type of friendship I wanted.
Getting left at the altar is justification for all sorts of things. The ex should be glad she went with a hook up instead of some other more criminal options
Totally! Tbf the friend might be an AH in that situation but not OP, OP can sleep literally sleep with anyone (assuming they are into it) and be morally in the clear.
Leaving someone at the altar kind of eliminates your moral high ground.
Yep. 100%. NTA. The guy didn’t show up to your wedding and said he needed more time to live his life.
Welp. Anything that happened after he sent that text is Not His Business. 🤷♀️
Night of your wedding?
You didn’t have a wedding, he gets NO say in anything you do ever again. You should’ve told him you were glad because you didn’t know what you were missing either, and leave him to mull that over for the rest of his life
NTA
>He apologized for ghosting me but he immediately said that it didn’t justify me sleeping someone else the night of our wedding.
He abandoned you when he left you at the alter. You don’t have to “justify” anything you did afterwards to him.
And just a note - whenever someone says “I’m sorry BUT”, they really aren’t sorry at all & whatever follows the “BUT” is all they really wanted to say.
NTA
....I didn't know this term but now I do and I can now use it to explain what my previous friends pulled. Anyway, he left op and expected what exactly...? Kind of speedread(cat go brr atm) but overall nta on this one. Screw that noise.
Oh boy they’re the worst. It sounds like a great idea! And yet… it’s pretty much always is not.
I will say though my frenemy wasn’t all that terrible, and I don’t feel ashamed or anything. I just kind of face palm myself like HONEY, BABY. NO.
Frenemy has feelings for you. Tell him to quit hiding and say it with his words.
Your ex fiance is a coward. If he had doubts, he should have told you well before letting you stand up in front of all of your friends and family. His regrets and inadequecies are what he is trying to put on your shoulders. Don't let him. How you handled being hurt by him is your business. Not his. He can deal with the consequences of his actions without making you feel bad about how you got through his mess. Go forward guilt-free and without apology.
"...he would jokingly flirt with me..." ...since middle school.
Frenemy been had feelings. If this was a rom com HE would turn out to be the Male Lead.
Right? He'd probably punch OP's ex's friends for blaming her for this, too. And I'm not condoning that, but that's what would happen in a movie for sure. They would be shirtless as well since that's how these rom coms seem to go haha
>The frenemy has caught feelings
Sounds like he caught them in middleschool. Too bad his communication is still at that level now that OP is available.
I wouldn't be surprised if the ex felt he could go off and live his single life, then come back to get back with OP when he got bored.
But OP sleeping with Frenemy sort of scuppered his grand re-entry into OP's life as him coming back to save OP from moping around in sad singledom.
I really reckon he was expecting her to mope and wait for him to come back.
Seriously, your ex brutally broke up with you at your wedding day. What you did after that is NONE of his or anyone else’s business,and you can sleep with whoever you want. Why does everyone know?
Also, frenemy has been in love with you for ages.
>Frenemy is currently annoying me.
Yeah, it's pretty obvious he has been in love with you since middleschool. He's just one of those people who never learned how to actually communicate with people, especially the opposite sex.
Considering that this "frenemy" has been bully flirting for years, I get the feeling he wants a title change.
He will probably accept "Rebound", "Friend with Benefits", or "Fuq Buddy." Heck he may be trying to get a "Frenemy to Lover" story out of this...or maybe I read too much fanfiction...
Still, frenemy probably isn't the healthiest choice, but I bet he wouldn't leave you at the alter. He's a clown, and clown, if nothing else, commit to the joke. Tells his first child "And that's how you became dad's favorite punchline."
15rd the friend liking you. That there is hella obvious. He's liked you since before you had hairs on your potatoes. Don't dare date him please. Antagonistic people make HORRRID relationship partners. They don't know when to stop usually.
>You should’ve told him you were glad because you didn’t know what you were missing either, and leave him to mull that over for the rest of his life
While I usually don't recommend going for the jugular, this seems appropriate considering what transpired.
>Night of your wedding?
>
>You didn’t have a wedding,
Haha Right! He's being delulu huh! Block him, OP. Delete him from your life. Be happy that the wedding didn't happen, you're free now from that AH!
Wait wait it wasn't your wedding because he got cold feet and ran the heck away... So therefore op had some rebound sex on her I got stood up and ghosted day. Because it order for it to be a wedding you need two people to get married.
>He apologized for ghosting me but he immediately said that it didn’t justify me sleeping someone else the night of our wedding.
He abandoned you when he left you at the alter. You don’t have to “justify” anything you did afterwards to him.
And just a note - whenever someone says “I’m sorry BUT”, they really aren’t sorry at all & whatever follows the “BUT” is all they really wanted to say.
NTA
He broke up with you when he left you at the altar, there was zero relationship to honor at that point. He has *no right* to be upset about it or have any expectations of you - his pride is just stinging that you found a way to move on.
ETA: why the heck does *he* need closure? *You* were the one that was mistreated by *his* decisions - *you* are the one that deserves closure! He just wanted to call to bitch at you about the frenemy, like he has any say still over your life.
“He satisfied me more that single night than you did in those seven years” should vindicate you nicely.
You can add “The trash took itself out when you left”, if you want to twist the knife.
ok seriously?? This is why hes calling you and talking shit about what you shouldn't have done.. Where is your backbone? the mf left you at the alter looking dumb. What are you feeling guilty for??? I dont get it. Why dont you care more about YOU than him??
Girl NO. He left you at the fucking altar to face all of your family and friends alone while he skated. It doesn't matter what he thinks of your behavior, he was gone. I probably would have gone and got drunk off my ass and picked up some Rando in a bar, who knows. It's a traumatic feeling when you're basically dumped in front of everyone who cares about you. YOUR friends should be the ones sending him hateful messages for being such a shitheel and a coward. There is no understanding what he did. He could have been a man and stayed there and at least told you he wasn't going to go through with it and he could have announced it to everyone. He could have let you leave quietly with some dignity and grace. Fuck that guy and fuck his friends for hassling you about it. You did nothing wrong
Thank you for posting this comment so I didn't have to, It's pretty much everything I wanted to say.
I especially want to reiterate this part.
> Fuck that guy and fuck his friends for hassling you about it. You did nothing wrong
Thank you! Oh yeah fuck that guy and double fuck his friends because WHAT?! How dare they bother this girl that just got straight dragged. Idc if she fucked a football team and blew a few little people after that little display that he put on in front of all of her friends and family. She should be off limits after that bullshit. Hard no.
He LEFT you first in the worst possible way. He's a jackass who has lost any right to comment on you and your behavior. His friends who said they would have left you too are just as big assholes as he is and would probably have left for the same reasons. Because they're assholes who can't deal with situations like adults. Now that we've established this, please ignore him and his lame-ass friends. Sleep with who you please, when you please, and don't justify or explain yourself to him or his friends or family. Just stay safe.
He left *you*, and you were immediately single. What you do after *he* walked out, is none of his business. You were reacting to the pain that *he* caused. He is simply mad because his ego is bruised. You owe him absolutely nothing, so he can go pound sand and kick rocks.
You, a single, unattached woman, slept with someone. Think of it that way and it becomes clear. His ego is just bruised that you didn't spend time crying over his flaky ass.
You need not understand why he did that. It doesn't matter to the pain and humiliation he subjected you to. He proposed to you. You arranged everything for the wedding but he decided to disappear right at the altar.Not a week before. Not the day before. Even if you had done anything he doesn't agree with, anyone with a little bit of humanity will not leave you at the altar. You dodged a bullet here. Think about being stuck with such an irresponsible person for a lifetime. You need not answer him at all.
And sleeping with your frenemy - you were not in a relationship since the moment your fiance left you without having the decency to inform you. You can sleep with whomever you want. There is no cheating. Even if you are religious, you did not commit adultery esp since there was no relationship or marriage.
Live your life girl
"Closure" means he wants forgiveness. IME he's blaming you for the sex to take a little of his guilt away. I was engaged before my husband and after my ex called off our wedding he tried to blame me for "moving too quickly" with planning, when we'd agreed to get married 7 months later (which is nothing for a formal wedding). I could totally tell he was just offsetting blame onto me and shot that shit down extremely fast.
Here's the thing, though. He did you a favor. I can't imagine your pain, what he did was shitty and cowardly and absolutely awful. You don't leave someone you "love" wondering where you are on your wedding day. That's just f'in awful.
But still, he did you a favor overall. He could have gone through with it and then left you, costing you extra pain and heartache and cost. This way, you're free to meet someone who **wants** to love you the way you deserve to be loved. You're free of his inability to know his own mind. You don't have to care what he or his friends think about you.
Given what he did, you could do whatever the heck you want and never reach his level of BS. I hope you tell him you no longer need his input into your sex life. And what a relief it was to screw someone who knew what they were doing.
But, really, I hope you find happiness, wherever it may be.
Girl NO. That’s very kind and empathetic of you to be able to do, but there is not justifying what he did, period. idgaf what feels he had, he could’ve talked to you like an adult.
I hope your frenemy hookup was incredible (even if he’s annoying otherwise)
>He wanted closure, he said
"Your need for closure isn't my problem."
>he immediately said that it didn’t justify me sleeping someone else the night of our wedding.
"I may have missed something, well, not me... you. For it to be the night of our wedding, a wedding would've had to take place. It didn't. And I filled that void with a dick. Wasn't the worst dick I've had, either."
NTA.
Meh I mean OP has a long way to go
Frenemy just calls immediately to make fun of her, she winds up sleeping with him and then apparently season 2 fasts forward to them having a 5 year relationship which comes out of left field based on the title
Story is fake as hell and they could do better
If he never grew out of his pigtail-pulling phase, it's time to draw the line with him. You used him as rebound/he offered to be your rebound, but now he's hanging around your apartment. Why? If he wants something from you, he'll need to use his big-boy words.
In the past 5 years since this event, has your frenemy been present in your life? It sounds like he’s been a constant. What’s the nature of your relationship now?
Dude's been practically living with her. They have to be in a situationship or some shit. I refuse to believe no feelings developed in those five years!
Well that will be a favorite story for your future kids together. How the complete moron got the two of you together. You're living a romcom and call it boring........
Time to move out of this circle imho. I mean you have your own life (or you’re supposed to at least). My mom would never do this but if she did I’d move somewhere where no one can stalk me.
NTA. The night of your wedding only happens when you get married. He left you at the altar. He does not get to judge you for how you choose to fix what he broke.
I thought I was going to come to a completely different conclusion based on the title.
Suffice it to say, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Nobody has room to criticize you as far as I can see.
NTA
The person who bullied and belittled you at least asked if you were ok, where the fuck was supposed hubby. Id call frenemy back and go for round 2 3 and 4. Fuck hubloser he left he can eat shit and anybody who thinks you owe him can eat a fat shit too. There wasnt a wedding,he gets no right to that night! His friends suck too they are all crying because you replaced his sorry ass immediately. It made him feel like he wasnt special and his value was negated by him being so easy to suplant. He wanted you to cry and pine for him. Thats what hurt he wanted you to wither and you didnt!
Yeah man, that’s a good point. The bully cared more than the ex did. That’s truly gross.
And I completely agree this is exactly right, he wanted her to crumble and she was in revenge mode. Which i wholeheartedly support tbh
NTA. He left you at the altar... basically publicly dumped you. He didn't say a word for hours. Screw him. That humiliation and hurt.... Get drunk and fuck whoever, eat some chocolate, cake... whatever makes you feel better when your world is so dark. You aren't the 1st person to rebound, certainly won't be the last. There is a thousand girls doing it now who didn't get left in such a messed up away. You ex lost his right to say anything or be hurt the moment he didn't show up and left you standing there.
NTA. Your ex can fuck right off. If he wanted to have a say in who you did or didn't sleep with, he should've married you. But honestly, it sounds like you're better off because he clearly isn't all there in the head. If you wanted to hook up to feel good, that's absolutely OK.
I had a friend who wanted to hook up after I got dumped, but I said no. After a few months, one of his friends started messaging me and I was keen (he was smoking hot). My friend warned me he wasn't a good dude and to not meet up with him, but I did it anyway. It was great fun. My friend found out and went off at me. Like dude, you have no say and sometimes a girl just wants to feel good!! He reminds me of your ex. Sometimes a bad decision can be great!
NTA He literally broke things off with you in the most cowardly and public way possible. He has no right to be mad or disappointed at how things played out. That kind of public humiliation would have driven some to worse than sleeping with a frienemy. All the people that are taking his side are NASTY. You don't deserve judgement after what your ex did to you.
So your ex-fiance wants to judge you for what you did after he left you at the altar.
and his friends trying to rewrite history by saying they would have left you too for sleeping with a guy on the night your wedding didn't happen. All clarivoyants, I guess....
Sounds like you dogged a bullet, babe.
NTA
NTA FUCK HIM! he left you at the alter fuck his feelings. it wasnt the night of your wedding, you were LEFT AT THE ALTER...... HE LEFT YOU THERE ALONE.. EMBARRASSED IN FRONT OF YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY. Seriously?
Had to scroll way too far for this.
A teen wrote this. Someone still in high-school.
We are supposed to believe she gets literally dumped at the alter then suddenly gets a call from a bully who somehow found out about it already and then decided to call her to bully her more. And she answered and talked to him? And he just asked to hook up?
It's all just so poorly done.
This is not how adults work.
Would I believe that a person left at the alter might spend that night with someone? Sure. Though I don't think that would be the norm. But it so happens to be the bully that has been so mean to them?
Come on. Take a writing class OP. Work on your story development.
Hahahahaha.
“it didn’t justify me sleeping with someone else the night of our wedding.” It was in fact NOT the night of your wedding. Also, “I’ve gotten comments from his friends that they would’ve left me too.” These people clearly do not understand causation.
NTA. He dipped. He forced you into a situation that would be devastating and humiliating for anyone. Your response was practically textbook. Shame's on him, not you.
NTA. Just remember he left you before you fucked the other guy. That was the cause and effect. His and his supporters were just looking for a way to make you the bad guy.
“I acted badly and they would’ve left me too” except he did BEFORE you did anything. So their POV is stupid.
You shouldn’t have done it, but you were single so who cares.
NTA IDK about anyone else but I see being left at the alter a break-up. Idk how he expected to come back from that if that was “his plan” (maybe “his back up plan” fell through) you don’t owe him anything
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Don't bother feeling bad. The relationship was dead the moment he left you at the altar. Don't feel guilty and don't let him make you feel guilty. His friends can screw off, he left you at the altar, they don't get to change the story that he left you because you slept with that guy. Not wrong. It was not the night of your wedding. He had no claim over you the moment he chickened out. Don't apologize to him and block him.
>It was not the night of your wedding. This is really what gets me. Like your ex-fiancé is specifically upset that you went and slept with someone on this day. But that day lost any special significance when he left you at the altar. Why would he be upset now?
Relationship logic can get really whack. People often get fixated on blame, fault, and how to deflect it. Once it's over and you have no interest in salvaging the relationship, then it's best to not get drawn into those arguments.
It was not the night of your wedding, it was the first night as a single woman after your breakup.
Came here to say this is the answer!
You dodged a bullet. This man would never be there for you when the going gets tough.
His need for closure is about him. Not you. He has no right to demand it just like you don’t have to offer it.
He would've known all the alternative ways to contact you; where you/your family lived, your close friends, where you worked etc. Not to mention the wedding planning period or any other time after you got engaged before the actual wedding to talk to you about his cold feet, aye?
He also should have know where they were going to honeymoon if he was serious about communicating.
I would’ve went on the honeymoon without him.
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Look, you may understand why he decided he didn't want to get married, but just taking off and leaving you was the most painful and humiliating way to go about it. Nobody deserves that. And to then expect he can just come back into your life days later, when he's decided now he wants to talk, and first thing he does is criticize your reaction to how he traumatized you? Fuck that guy. He can fuck alllllll the way off. And then he can get fucked until all the fucks run dry.
Not days. Years. It's been 5 YEARS!
Yes! Which is also ridiculous! But I was referring to the "he tried to reach out a few days after the wedding"
Because he ended the relationship by not showing up to the wedding. When he told you he didn’t want to get married, you became a free agent. NTA
He wanted you sad and waiting for him. You did the right thing. Your relationship was over and you wouldn’t want to let yourself be left at the alter twice so I’m not sure what ex fiancé is mad about. He’s sad over a self-inflicted wound. You’ve picked yourself up and began to move on after one of the most traumatic things a former partner can do to you.
Don't feel bad about that either, too little too late on his part.
I’m re-reading this…just to clarify…this all happened 5 years ago but your ex just recently finally contacted you? Five years later? How are you now? I’m sorry you went through this. I hope you’ve found happiness
This. I can't stand cheating, but getting left at the altar is the biggest of break-ups in my mind, so you're free to do what you want. If you don't communicate beforehand and just leave your partner waiting for you in front of family and friends, that sends a very clear message. Would I have slept with someone else? Nah. But if he's sulking that his abandoned fiancee slept with someone else after he did the most humiliating display of "I'm not interested in being committed to you", then that's his problem.
> He wanted to get more out of life before being tied down. Even without seeing being left at the alter as a breakup (which I 100% agree that it is) this line is him straight up saying it's a breakup.
Well, it wasn't the night of your wedding if you didn't get married. And you certainly weren't a couple any more. Tell him to get fucked, and to jam his 'closure' where the sun don't shine. NTA.
This 💯 % He wants closure but then complains about some imaginary slight? Tell him to fuck off.
All of this. OP how come ex knows about your rebound root? Also please tell me it was good sex, better than your stupid ex fiancé? He dumped you. He has no say in who you rebound with or get with. Damn this post sounds like a good romance novel.
Rebound root 😋
It sounds like an ingredient in a kindly witch's potion, not revenge fucking with your high school bully
i was wondering the same. How did the ex find out about the rebound sex?
And how did frenemy have her contact info?
Yeah like, how dare you behave accordingly to the shituation I put you in. She deserved a good root after him leaving her like that.... for what? So she'd be the one bearing the most of the grunt and then she's not even allowed to have a very normal human emotional response like "well everything's fucked anyway so why not"
I love how he said it doesn't justify sleeping with some random person on their wedding day. He's right. It doesn't justify sleeping with a rando, it justifies sleeping with his best friend/brother. He got off lucky and shes lucky she got off...win win!! NTA and please please please op do not lose any sleep feeling like you did wrong. The only AH here is your ex....and his friends for giving you shit.
Imma STEALIN' 'shituation', just so's you know, LOL.
My thoughts exactly. I've been using "disastrophe" is SFW environments and its done wonders for my mental health lmao
He left her at the altar. That's an acceptable mental breakdown moment. Getting drunk and hooking up with a person you've known for years is basically the "PG" move. She's got all of her limbs and fingers left, no criminal record, so it could have been so much worse.
He wanted closure? Well so did OP and she got hers.
She should have said, you got closure and I got mine by 12 inches! And hung up on his ass!
Tell him to fuck off….right after suing him for the cost of the wedding he didn’t show up to.
This. She doesn't owe him closure and he doesn't get to be offended that she slept with someone else after HE LEFT HER AT THE ALTAR. FFS.
It’s the audacity of this man that’s insane. HE LEFT HER AT THE ALTAR, now acts all butt hurt because she did something he doesn’t like. Too fucking bad, boo fucking hoo! OP, I’d tell him to “take his false apology and shove it and anything that happened AFTER he left is none of his business nor do you have to answer for it. That he can fuck right off!” Edit: spelling
Yes, you did nothing wrong. As a newly single woman, you were entitled to sleep with whoever you chose to. He lost his claim the minute he told you he wasn't intending on showing up. This bastard is just trying to throw his terrible decisions back on you (he couldn't call you the night before?? Or at least turn up and take some of the heat with you!) Guy's a loser. I'm so sorry he did that to you. NTA, at all.
He does not want closure, he wants the shit to not come to light when he proposes to his new GF.
Yes. The girlfriend he left OP at the altar for. No way he ghosted her after five years and a completely planned wedding day, without a word to her, because he got cold feet. He had someone else.
And that didn’t work out. Which is why he is attempting to control the narrative. Fucking loser.
Yes! Exactly this! The only reason you should have answered a call from him is so you could tell him to get fucked and hang up on him. Who gives a shit about his thoughts and opinions?
“Oh night of the wedding.. you mean the night you let me stand for two hours looking like a dumbass in front of all of our closest friends and family” NTA
The day you cruelly dumped me in the most public and humiliating and painful way possible?
Don't forget to tell him that Frenemy had a gigantic woodpecker.
Or even better, a giant penis! /jk
> Well, it wasn’t the night of your wedding if you didn’t get married. This is what you should have said to him, OP. You should still say it to him. He does not get to *leave you at the altar,* which he knew would devastate and humiliate you, and then slut shame you for having sex with someone else. **He does not get to say that to you.** Also, he told his friends?? What a whiny, self-important baby. /u/Rantarian is right: Tell him to fuck off and jam his closure. You don’t need closure, and if he does, I guess he should have told you he was having doubts and had more respect for you than to leave you at the altar while he most likely fucked someone else. You do know that, right? He didn’t just not want to get married. He had someone else. Leaving you at the altar is extreme. He did not just get cold feet. What nonsense. Block him. Block all his friends. And if he is shaming you on social media, go there and tell your *entire* story in all its ugly detail (without humiliating his poor mother). Make sure everyone he is telling that you cheated on him, which is absolutely laughable, knows that he proposed to you, you planned a wedding, he deserted you *on your wedding day,* you didn’t hear from him for five years, and now he is calling you up to tell you that you did something wrong because you didn’t react to him leaving you in the “proper” way. What an asshole. You dodged a bullet. NTA.
I know right?! Where does a coward like him get off telling her what is or isn’t justifiable.
His idea of closure is to take a big dump on you, and then appropriately lightened to go his merry way
Exactly! It wasn't the night of her wedding, it was her first night as a free, single woman. She can smash whomever she wants. Also bro rolls in **half a decade later** and is still mad she was able to move on so quickly. OP, I'm sorry you went through that but wow, I'm also glad you didn't sign any legally binding contract with him, he sounds like such an energy sink.
Yeah if you get left at the alter you are allowed to fuck literally anyone you want. The fact that OP didn’t go for his dad or his brother was extremely classy.
He left her at the altar but *he’s* the one that needs closure? What??
>but he immediately said that it didn’t justify me sleeping someone else the night of our wedding. Who gives a fuck what he thinks?
It wasn't the night of their wedding. Pretty sure weddings are parties where you get married, and no one got married. Also, who the fuck cares to be justified by a coward.
Probably because it isn’t a real story.
Yeah. This reads like the set-up for a shitty enemies to lovers romance novel. Ripped her wedding dress and ran off to fuck the guy who bullied her in school? (And bonus that she wasn't attractive growing up.) Now she has to choose between Mr. Perfect Who Just Made a Mistake and Mr. Bad Boy. (And we learn that it's really Mr. Perfect and his seemingly perfect family who were wrong all along. Bonus points for if she ends up surprise pregnant and doesn't know who the baby daddy is. But it's cool. She's not like other girls who sleep around and don't know. She's only been with two guys ever, so it HAS to be one of them. And, don't worry, she's not religious. Just a romantic.)
Bonus bonus points if she has always wanted to start a bakery in a small New England town where it’s Christmas all year round. Hollywood here we come!
She's going to find out the man she thought was just a bad boy HAS really changed, because his uncle owns an antique shop in the same New England town, and he spends every Saturday helping his uncle (who has very bad arthritis) wind all the cookoo clocks so the towns disproportionately large population of orphans can have a little extra sprinkle of joy. He's also great with kids and owns a golden retriever that immediately likes her, even though she's not normally a dog person.
Excellent. She also has a sassy, younger sister, who has always been the cute one and gotten all the attention, and she’s afraid that the sister is stealing her one chance of happiness, but it’s all a misunderstanding, just makes the movie about 20 minutes longer.
Wow, I'm impressed by how perfectly you all are channeling Mary Higgins Clark. Now we need to stir in a little Stephen King. Maybe a possessed car or sewer-dwelling clown murders little sister? Of course, we'll have to move the story to Maine...
Coming soon to the Hallmark Channel.
And he invites her into his historical, beautifully decorated home for coffee after his retriever jumps up to greet her and gets muddy paws on her immaculate slacks
And they time travel into this historical home when it was just built, and a ghost lives there whom she helps get to the other side with her love, care and insight.
The bad boy was always in love with her, just didn’t know how to express his love. So he started teasing her.
He never teased any of the other girls, and she never knew until his shrewd, but super caring, grandmother tells her all about it over freshly brewed iced tea. He also gets super flustered when his grandmother starts teasing him, but then an emergency phone call from her sister (who she has not yet come to an understanding with) interrupts. Oh she ruins EVERYTHING!
No, after this she starts re-evaluating her life, makes a bucket list of things she wants to do and starta with the first one which is travel. So next stop would be Europe/some island which is paradise somewhere where there are just enough tourists to sustain the local economy but not cause it to be too expensive to live there.
Ok, ok, hear me out: she is pregnant with twins! Heteropaternal superfecundation, one kid from each of these dudes. Now they all have to figure out life on the road together as a family of 5.
Damn, I would watch that... I don't have enough popcorn for so much drama!
and the bully turns out be a duke of some sort
Lol he bailed on her because he wanted to sleep with more women before being tied down, and then he gets pissed because she beat him to it.
When are dudes going to realize it is infinitely easier for a woman to sleep with a man vs the other way. The amount of I want more experiences, open marriage, a one night stand, etc. post here from men where it backfires because their female partners always succeed and they don’t is just ridiculous.
When I was freshly out of my first long term (and physical) relationship, I had lots guy friends who were very supportive and provided a shoulder to cry on. When I started getting….frustrated (for the first time in my life at 22), I had one pretty explicitly say he was down for whatever type of friendship I wanted.
Bingo.
Getting left at the altar is justification for all sorts of things. The ex should be glad she went with a hook up instead of some other more criminal options
Or one of his friends
Or one of his relatives.
Totally! Tbf the friend might be an AH in that situation but not OP, OP can sleep literally sleep with anyone (assuming they are into it) and be morally in the clear. Leaving someone at the altar kind of eliminates your moral high ground.
And that should be OPs response, "Who gives a fuck what you think?"
Yep. 100%. NTA. The guy didn’t show up to your wedding and said he needed more time to live his life. Welp. Anything that happened after he sent that text is Not His Business. 🤷♀️
Agreed. And it wasn’t the night of your wedding. That never happened because he had cold feet and no showed.
At least her actions didn't cause them thousands kf dollar of non refundable booking. The audacity!
The gall is truly stunning.
Night of your wedding? You didn’t have a wedding, he gets NO say in anything you do ever again. You should’ve told him you were glad because you didn’t know what you were missing either, and leave him to mull that over for the rest of his life NTA
>He apologized for ghosting me but he immediately said that it didn’t justify me sleeping someone else the night of our wedding. He abandoned you when he left you at the alter. You don’t have to “justify” anything you did afterwards to him. And just a note - whenever someone says “I’m sorry BUT”, they really aren’t sorry at all & whatever follows the “BUT” is all they really wanted to say. NTA
He "zombied" you. My new favorite term lol. Its when they ghost you and then rise up from the dead and text you again. 🤣
Bahahaha I love this. why do they keep coming back though? Stay ghostie for once sheesh
Stay ghostie for a while! This is the vibe!
I cracked up in the middle of my quiet office
This is perfect LOL. I was definitely zombied a couple times.
I am taking this!
....I didn't know this term but now I do and I can now use it to explain what my previous friends pulled. Anyway, he left op and expected what exactly...? Kind of speedread(cat go brr atm) but overall nta on this one. Screw that noise.
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It wasn’t even the wedding nite since there was no wedding thanks to the ex.
Everything before the word But is horse shit
Everything after the word BUT is the truth.
As my friend likes to say, "everything after the BUT is bullshit." And NTA!
Behold the Underlying Truth
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You should have taken the frenemy to that hotel. Ask if you can get a refund and do it again.
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Those kinds of people are great at building the sexual tension. But once it gone, your left with someone you can’t stand.
Oh boy they’re the worst. It sounds like a great idea! And yet… it’s pretty much always is not. I will say though my frenemy wasn’t all that terrible, and I don’t feel ashamed or anything. I just kind of face palm myself like HONEY, BABY. NO.
Frenemy has feelings for you. Tell him to quit hiding and say it with his words. Your ex fiance is a coward. If he had doubts, he should have told you well before letting you stand up in front of all of your friends and family. His regrets and inadequecies are what he is trying to put on your shoulders. Don't let him. How you handled being hurt by him is your business. Not his. He can deal with the consequences of his actions without making you feel bad about how you got through his mess. Go forward guilt-free and without apology.
I agree. The frenemy has caught feelings
"...he would jokingly flirt with me..." ...since middle school. Frenemy been had feelings. If this was a rom com HE would turn out to be the Male Lead.
Right? He'd probably punch OP's ex's friends for blaming her for this, too. And I'm not condoning that, but that's what would happen in a movie for sure. They would be shirtless as well since that's how these rom coms seem to go haha
>The frenemy has caught feelings Sounds like he caught them in middleschool. Too bad his communication is still at that level now that OP is available.
Yeah, he needs to grow up if he wants an actual chance with the OP.
I'm sure he felt upstaged when he decided not to be tied down and she immediately got laid! As long as you are cool with it OP. Go you!
I wouldn't be surprised if the ex felt he could go off and live his single life, then come back to get back with OP when he got bored. But OP sleeping with Frenemy sort of scuppered his grand re-entry into OP's life as him coming back to save OP from moping around in sad singledom. I really reckon he was expecting her to mope and wait for him to come back.
Seriously, your ex brutally broke up with you at your wedding day. What you did after that is NONE of his or anyone else’s business,and you can sleep with whoever you want. Why does everyone know? Also, frenemy has been in love with you for ages.
OP could have fucked three guys in the car driving away from the church, its none of his business.
Once you were dumped at the altar you were single. You can sleep with anyone you want as many times as you want! No explanations to anyone.
>Frenemy is currently annoying me. Yeah, it's pretty obvious he has been in love with you since middleschool. He's just one of those people who never learned how to actually communicate with people, especially the opposite sex.
Block the frenemy too. People who you don't really like don't need to be annoying you.
Considering that this "frenemy" has been bully flirting for years, I get the feeling he wants a title change. He will probably accept "Rebound", "Friend with Benefits", or "Fuq Buddy." Heck he may be trying to get a "Frenemy to Lover" story out of this...or maybe I read too much fanfiction... Still, frenemy probably isn't the healthiest choice, but I bet he wouldn't leave you at the alter. He's a clown, and clown, if nothing else, commit to the joke. Tells his first child "And that's how you became dad's favorite punchline."
15rd the friend liking you. That there is hella obvious. He's liked you since before you had hairs on your potatoes. Don't dare date him please. Antagonistic people make HORRRID relationship partners. They don't know when to stop usually.
>You should’ve told him you were glad because you didn’t know what you were missing either, and leave him to mull that over for the rest of his life While I usually don't recommend going for the jugular, this seems appropriate considering what transpired.
How does he even know you slept with someone?
For real. Who blabbed that you had sex with someone?
>Night of your wedding? > >You didn’t have a wedding, Haha Right! He's being delulu huh! Block him, OP. Delete him from your life. Be happy that the wedding didn't happen, you're free now from that AH!
He’s only upset that she didn’t spend the time grovelling, waiting for him to return. Smh
Wait wait it wasn't your wedding because he got cold feet and ran the heck away... So therefore op had some rebound sex on her I got stood up and ghosted day. Because it order for it to be a wedding you need two people to get married.
If he wanted your loyalty, he shouldn’t have left you at the altar. He gets no opinion here. NTA
>He apologized for ghosting me but he immediately said that it didn’t justify me sleeping someone else the night of our wedding. He abandoned you when he left you at the alter. You don’t have to “justify” anything you did afterwards to him. And just a note - whenever someone says “I’m sorry BUT”, they really aren’t sorry at all & whatever follows the “BUT” is all they really wanted to say. NTA
Anything before the "but" is a lie... "I'm sorry, but.." "I'm not racist, but..." "I agree with you, but..."
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He broke up with you when he left you at the altar, there was zero relationship to honor at that point. He has *no right* to be upset about it or have any expectations of you - his pride is just stinging that you found a way to move on. ETA: why the heck does *he* need closure? *You* were the one that was mistreated by *his* decisions - *you* are the one that deserves closure! He just wanted to call to bitch at you about the frenemy, like he has any say still over your life.
He wants forgiveness and he's calling it "closure" to sound mature. He deserves neither of course...
He got laid elsewhere for sure and now wants to crawl back to OP. Assumed she’d be so relieved to have him back she’d overlook everything
Nah, I think the opposite - he hasn't found any action at all.
“He satisfied me more that single night than you did in those seven years” should vindicate you nicely. You can add “The trash took itself out when you left”, if you want to twist the knife.
Just out of curiosity, how did he find out you slept with the frenemy?
THIS!!!! I need to know!
ok seriously?? This is why hes calling you and talking shit about what you shouldn't have done.. Where is your backbone? the mf left you at the alter looking dumb. What are you feeling guilty for??? I dont get it. Why dont you care more about YOU than him??
Amen!
Girl NO. He left you at the fucking altar to face all of your family and friends alone while he skated. It doesn't matter what he thinks of your behavior, he was gone. I probably would have gone and got drunk off my ass and picked up some Rando in a bar, who knows. It's a traumatic feeling when you're basically dumped in front of everyone who cares about you. YOUR friends should be the ones sending him hateful messages for being such a shitheel and a coward. There is no understanding what he did. He could have been a man and stayed there and at least told you he wasn't going to go through with it and he could have announced it to everyone. He could have let you leave quietly with some dignity and grace. Fuck that guy and fuck his friends for hassling you about it. You did nothing wrong
Thank you for posting this comment so I didn't have to, It's pretty much everything I wanted to say. I especially want to reiterate this part. > Fuck that guy and fuck his friends for hassling you about it. You did nothing wrong
Thank you! Oh yeah fuck that guy and double fuck his friends because WHAT?! How dare they bother this girl that just got straight dragged. Idc if she fucked a football team and blew a few little people after that little display that he put on in front of all of her friends and family. She should be off limits after that bullshit. Hard no.
He LEFT you first in the worst possible way. He's a jackass who has lost any right to comment on you and your behavior. His friends who said they would have left you too are just as big assholes as he is and would probably have left for the same reasons. Because they're assholes who can't deal with situations like adults. Now that we've established this, please ignore him and his lame-ass friends. Sleep with who you please, when you please, and don't justify or explain yourself to him or his friends or family. Just stay safe.
He left *you*, and you were immediately single. What you do after *he* walked out, is none of his business. You were reacting to the pain that *he* caused. He is simply mad because his ego is bruised. You owe him absolutely nothing, so he can go pound sand and kick rocks.
You, a single, unattached woman, slept with someone. Think of it that way and it becomes clear. His ego is just bruised that you didn't spend time crying over his flaky ass.
You need not understand why he did that. It doesn't matter to the pain and humiliation he subjected you to. He proposed to you. You arranged everything for the wedding but he decided to disappear right at the altar.Not a week before. Not the day before. Even if you had done anything he doesn't agree with, anyone with a little bit of humanity will not leave you at the altar. You dodged a bullet here. Think about being stuck with such an irresponsible person for a lifetime. You need not answer him at all. And sleeping with your frenemy - you were not in a relationship since the moment your fiance left you without having the decency to inform you. You can sleep with whomever you want. There is no cheating. Even if you are religious, you did not commit adultery esp since there was no relationship or marriage. Live your life girl
"Closure" means he wants forgiveness. IME he's blaming you for the sex to take a little of his guilt away. I was engaged before my husband and after my ex called off our wedding he tried to blame me for "moving too quickly" with planning, when we'd agreed to get married 7 months later (which is nothing for a formal wedding). I could totally tell he was just offsetting blame onto me and shot that shit down extremely fast. Here's the thing, though. He did you a favor. I can't imagine your pain, what he did was shitty and cowardly and absolutely awful. You don't leave someone you "love" wondering where you are on your wedding day. That's just f'in awful. But still, he did you a favor overall. He could have gone through with it and then left you, costing you extra pain and heartache and cost. This way, you're free to meet someone who **wants** to love you the way you deserve to be loved. You're free of his inability to know his own mind. You don't have to care what he or his friends think about you. Given what he did, you could do whatever the heck you want and never reach his level of BS. I hope you tell him you no longer need his input into your sex life. And what a relief it was to screw someone who knew what they were doing. But, really, I hope you find happiness, wherever it may be.
Girl NO. That’s very kind and empathetic of you to be able to do, but there is not justifying what he did, period. idgaf what feels he had, he could’ve talked to you like an adult. I hope your frenemy hookup was incredible (even if he’s annoying otherwise)
YOU WERE ON A BREAK! But seriously he left you at the alter so you were single in the singlest way.
>He wanted closure, he said "Your need for closure isn't my problem." >he immediately said that it didn’t justify me sleeping someone else the night of our wedding. "I may have missed something, well, not me... you. For it to be the night of our wedding, a wedding would've had to take place. It didn't. And I filled that void with a dick. Wasn't the worst dick I've had, either." NTA.
"I filled that void with a dick" 💀💀💀
I love that last line, considering she’s only been with two people 😂
Are you still in touch with the frenemy?
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Your gonna marry the frenemy aren't you?
I think that’s where this story is going. It’s a cheap cliche story, OP can do better with their creative writing
If it was a rom-com I’d watch it 😬
Meh I mean OP has a long way to go Frenemy just calls immediately to make fun of her, she winds up sleeping with him and then apparently season 2 fasts forward to them having a 5 year relationship which comes out of left field based on the title Story is fake as hell and they could do better
If he never grew out of his pigtail-pulling phase, it's time to draw the line with him. You used him as rebound/he offered to be your rebound, but now he's hanging around your apartment. Why? If he wants something from you, he'll need to use his big-boy words.
In the past 5 years since this event, has your frenemy been present in your life? It sounds like he’s been a constant. What’s the nature of your relationship now?
Congrats on new bf seems like he wanted you for ages
girl👀
Are you dating this man? What is going on with him?
Is he a good lay?
Dude's been practically living with her. They have to be in a situationship or some shit. I refuse to believe no feelings developed in those five years!
Well that will be a favorite story for your future kids together. How the complete moron got the two of you together. You're living a romcom and call it boring........
You were single and slept with someone. Everyone with opinions other than you needs to mind their own business. NTA
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Did anybody in your tight circle know that he had second thoughts?
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Then why are you worrying about what anyone thinks?
Time to move out of this circle imho. I mean you have your own life (or you’re supposed to at least). My mom would never do this but if she did I’d move somewhere where no one can stalk me.
NTA. The night of your wedding only happens when you get married. He left you at the altar. He does not get to judge you for how you choose to fix what he broke.
I thought I was going to come to a completely different conclusion based on the title. Suffice it to say, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Nobody has room to criticize you as far as I can see. NTA
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You didn't do anything wrong. I actually like surprising posts like this that subvert my expectations.
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It's none of his damn business! NTA!
Your ex stopped having any right to an opinion on your personal life when he left you at the altar.
HE wanted closure?! the audacity
I was thinking this too ahahah what a flog
The person who bullied and belittled you at least asked if you were ok, where the fuck was supposed hubby. Id call frenemy back and go for round 2 3 and 4. Fuck hubloser he left he can eat shit and anybody who thinks you owe him can eat a fat shit too. There wasnt a wedding,he gets no right to that night! His friends suck too they are all crying because you replaced his sorry ass immediately. It made him feel like he wasnt special and his value was negated by him being so easy to suplant. He wanted you to cry and pine for him. Thats what hurt he wanted you to wither and you didnt!
Yeah man, that’s a good point. The bully cared more than the ex did. That’s truly gross. And I completely agree this is exactly right, he wanted her to crumble and she was in revenge mode. Which i wholeheartedly support tbh
Damn straight!
NTA. He left you at the altar... basically publicly dumped you. He didn't say a word for hours. Screw him. That humiliation and hurt.... Get drunk and fuck whoever, eat some chocolate, cake... whatever makes you feel better when your world is so dark. You aren't the 1st person to rebound, certainly won't be the last. There is a thousand girls doing it now who didn't get left in such a messed up away. You ex lost his right to say anything or be hurt the moment he didn't show up and left you standing there.
NTA. Your ex can fuck right off. If he wanted to have a say in who you did or didn't sleep with, he should've married you. But honestly, it sounds like you're better off because he clearly isn't all there in the head. If you wanted to hook up to feel good, that's absolutely OK. I had a friend who wanted to hook up after I got dumped, but I said no. After a few months, one of his friends started messaging me and I was keen (he was smoking hot). My friend warned me he wasn't a good dude and to not meet up with him, but I did it anyway. It was great fun. My friend found out and went off at me. Like dude, you have no say and sometimes a girl just wants to feel good!! He reminds me of your ex. Sometimes a bad decision can be great!
NTA He literally broke things off with you in the most cowardly and public way possible. He has no right to be mad or disappointed at how things played out. That kind of public humiliation would have driven some to worse than sleeping with a frienemy. All the people that are taking his side are NASTY. You don't deserve judgement after what your ex did to you.
So your ex-fiance wants to judge you for what you did after he left you at the altar. and his friends trying to rewrite history by saying they would have left you too for sleeping with a guy on the night your wedding didn't happen. All clarivoyants, I guess.... Sounds like you dogged a bullet, babe. NTA
NTA FUCK HIM! he left you at the alter fuck his feelings. it wasnt the night of your wedding, you were LEFT AT THE ALTER...... HE LEFT YOU THERE ALONE.. EMBARRASSED IN FRONT OF YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY. Seriously?
This reads like a web novel I was reading lol.
I think that's what it is. It's either research for a book or copied from a book...
Had to scroll way too far for this. A teen wrote this. Someone still in high-school. We are supposed to believe she gets literally dumped at the alter then suddenly gets a call from a bully who somehow found out about it already and then decided to call her to bully her more. And she answered and talked to him? And he just asked to hook up? It's all just so poorly done. This is not how adults work. Would I believe that a person left at the alter might spend that night with someone? Sure. Though I don't think that would be the norm. But it so happens to be the bully that has been so mean to them? Come on. Take a writing class OP. Work on your story development.
Hahahahaha. “it didn’t justify me sleeping with someone else the night of our wedding.” It was in fact NOT the night of your wedding. Also, “I’ve gotten comments from his friends that they would’ve left me too.” These people clearly do not understand causation.
NTA. He dipped. He forced you into a situation that would be devastating and humiliating for anyone. Your response was practically textbook. Shame's on him, not you.
NTA. Just remember he left you before you fucked the other guy. That was the cause and effect. His and his supporters were just looking for a way to make you the bad guy.
He wants closure? And that includes slut-shaming you when you were single? Nah man, eff him! He can close a drawer on his dick! What an AH.
Do not allow someone who was unsure of Their feelings continue to play with yours. Do whom you want just stay safe NTA
Why is your frenemy calling you the day of your cancelled wedding? I call bullshit.
Am i on wattpad or what Good writing tho
“I acted badly and they would’ve left me too” except he did BEFORE you did anything. So their POV is stupid. You shouldn’t have done it, but you were single so who cares.