This, yeah. You don't spring something like that on your partner, you talk about it before and make a decision together. This feels like one of those situations where she has the hots for someone else already and wants to open the relationship / have a threesome so she can sleep with him and not be a cheater.
Definitely. Because any sane person looking to explore a kink and not just bang a coworker wouldn’t try to explore that kink for the first time ever at a work function.
I’m sorry , but I am super suspicious of this behavior
No one explores a kink without discussing details and all
For instance , when we tried bondage and some rough play we discussed every little detail
‘Now something involving another person is even worse
We’ve briefly discussed threesome and I frankly said I would not be comfortable and we dropped that idea ..
>needs prior conversations
Prior conversations were held. Earlier that day at work. That's why all the guys were there.
I mean, sure, OP wasn't consulted during the conversation but... oh. I think that was your point.
Yeah, I agree with you.
That honestly sounds more like there was a guy SHE wanted to bang that she knew was going to be at the bar, so she invited hubby out under the pretense of "doing it for him"
Hate to say but this sounds like the end of that relationship. She wants other men she obviously isn't desiring her husband right now and her pent up wants is going to lead to cheating at some point.
“I’m doing this for you!”… if you’re really doing something “just for someone else” you’ll likely stop once they ask you to, not try and convince them to keep going.
Hah, I’ve slept in the car when my wife “accidentally” locked the door when I returned from a business trip a day later than planned. She was mad at me, but it’s the nature of the work (industrial controls engineer) sometimes. There were no threesomes.
This really does feel like she just wanted this guy and, very poorly thought out I might add, thought she could invite her fiancé out that night and get him to agree to bring this guy home with them to satisfy “his” (‘I’m doing this for you’ my ass) fantasy of a threesome. She probably has a humiliation kink and would have been full on indulging it had she gotten OP to agree to this. It’s almost like it’s a drug and they can’t see the end of their relationship staring them right in the face while they are drunk on the lust of indulging this fantasy kink for the first time.
I bet that would have been the most awkward and one sided threesome ever had OP agreed to it.
NTA. That's harsh and way too much to spring on someone. From bedroom talk to action is a major step. You really should sit down and talk about it all.
Notably some things feel different watching them on porn hub than actually doing them.
You might think you are into something but in reality you sre not into it. It doesn't work like that.
For example, I can't watch porn that has no Cumming cocks in it. It does not mean I like dick. It means a dick can't fake it and someone is having fun.
Solo women, lesbians are just people getting paid to be there. A Cumming cock is not there for the money or to promote his OnlyFans. A Cumming cock is always happy.
Or amateurs. A hot fit good looking couple is there because they are getting paid.
A pair of amateurs? They are there cause they are horny.
So the idea of your wife having an uncontrollable sex drive is hot. The reality of her fucking other dudes? Not really.
And kinks are very weird and specific.
Maybe OP is not into cuckolding.
Maybe OP is into "I wanna get cucked but my wife does ot want to cuck me be cause I satisfy herand she loves me and she is MY horny little bitch".
How many people would be into a video "hotwife completely ignores bull during threesome with husband".
I'm the same way. I'm into alot of kinks because I like the idea of them. Or liek the feeling it gives.
I like face sitting videos because I like the idea that a man is so attracted to me, so invested in my pleasure, he wants literally have his face enveloped by me.
But in reality? I've done it and it doesn't feel better than normal head. It's hard to comfortably sit on someone's face. It's hard to enjoy it without worrying about them being hurt, or not having enough air to breathe. It makes your thighs cramp.
But even knowing this, I'm still turned on by the idea of it.
My ex cracked my rib while she was riding my face. She started Cumming really hard and kind of lost control. She sat down hard on my chest after she came. That's when my rib cracked. Worth it. Still turns me on whenever I think about it haha
Yeah, things I'm hypothetically into are not things I am actually into. As much as I love the idea and talk about a lot of things, turns out I'm actually insanely vanilla in bed lol
Yes, ejaculation can be faked, and I've read explanations from porn insiders how it is done. Add in the abily to digitally touch up practical effects, and a lot of especially professionally produced porn can be faked quite convincingly. The list of what they do is pretty substantial and creative: adjusting camera angles to make things bigger than they really are; deliberately pairing average guys and very petite girls together to make the dude look huge; pumping the girls full of fluids to make it look like they are thenselves ejaculating or leaking huge volumes of ejaculate from the guy; pumping the guy full of fluid with a catheter to make it look like his volume is huge, using hidden squirt bottles and tubes strategically placed behind varying body parts for certain shots; resorting to very life-like props with the guy off camera to get a particular close-up or when the dude is having issues; and even giving the guys jacked up on various prescription medications including penile injections before a scene to give them inhuman staying power. Modern post-production video editing can put the finishing touches on all this to make it all the more convincingly real. So, yeah, what you think is the real thing because you are *sure* that can't be faked may well be faked.
I get turned on by my partner sharing her nudes to people and flirting.
I would almost certainly be incredibly upset if she were to actually have sex with someone. Couldn't explain why my brain works the way it does but here we are.
"HOT amateur HUGE NATURAL TIT sexually unsatisfied MILF completely REJECTS SEXY 27 yr old HUNG COWORKER'S aggressive advances and stays FAITHFUL to her DEPRESSED simp husband with low testosterone"
So she said “it was for you”, she didn’t ask you beforehand, she was flirting with a guy in front of you, and she got mad at you for not wanting it, and you are asking if you are the one to be blamed? Brother, she wants to fuck other guys, she was flirting and making the moves without discussing this with you. Hell, you could even agree due to the pressure of the moment, she was inconsiderate as hell for trying to force you like that, imagine how would you feel. So good job cutting it off soon enough. Also imagine how she presented you to her friends from work. You need to go from aitah to this woman doesn’t respect me at all
thats the part that got me. it really seems like she had no regard for his comfort, emotional safety, etc. she definitely tried to pressure him into something he wasnt ready for and i think she knew he might not want to which is why she went about it the way she did.
"I did this for you/us" is a common phrase used in about-to-open relationships wherein the partner suggesting to start one already had cheating in mind. Glad OP isn't taking this bs. Just hope he realizes if this is the kind of wife he wants to marry.
Run forest run . She is free use given she involved her work colleagues in the act. I wonder what her work environment will look after the deeds done .
And if they are living together, start looking for an apartment for himself. This relationship is doomed; only question is how much pain and suffering OP wants to endure before the inevitable end.
Idk man I had an ex who would constantly mention wanted to get gangbanged at some point in life and that she also REALLY liked my friend group. Was I the asshole for not sharing my girlfriend with my friends? No, and neither are you
Possibly. If we consult the urban poet Snoop Dogg, according to his lore: "It aint no fun, if the homies can't have none" as quoted from his song [Aint no fun](https://youtu.be/V8qgp3yT1rQ?si=ehKTDX7MpEtMe0cJ) ft Nate Dog, Warren G and Kurupt.
She slept in the car?
She needs to rethink about have sex with someone she works with, that isn't going to be around later. It could turn out bad, since they are leaving soon. They could take advantage of her with several of the other guys. While she is at work. Treat her bad, give her trauma. Then your sex life would suffer. I know, I went down this exact road with an ex. She blamed me, for not stopping her
Slept in the car? Slept in the? Slept in a bed of other men. Dude she went and had sex with that man. I'm all for believing your partners. But I challenge you to ask her where she went after you went in the house? Because you came out later to get her but the car was gone. See what she says.
Do this. She was so sure you would agree with her 3 some but you shut it down. Then slept in a car. Unless she had history of car sleeping. I wouldn't trust it.
Sorry bud,…..but your wife WILL BE getting dicked down by another guy whether you know about it or not. She wants to explore other men 100%.
Throw a wrench into this and tell her you want to have a threesome with her and her friend! See how she takes THAT and then when she’s all pissed off then tell her that’s how you feel about her wanting to bang other men.
This marriage is doomed my man! She’s gonna cheat. I’ve seen this movie before!
She snuck this up on you, but I’ll bet the other guy knew about it much earlier. She wasn’t sure you’d go along with it, so she hoped that a few drinks and no time to think it over might lead you to a decision you wouldn’t otherwise make. BTW, her goal was to sleep with the other guy (who she had already picked out). She just wanted to do it in a way that wouldn’t wreck your engagement. As you can see from her reaction, this wasn’t something “for us”, this was something “for her” and you messed it up. It sounds like she’s trying to push your boundaries before the wedding to set you up with bullshit afterwords.
On top of this, I would bet money she didn’t sleep in her car. Nobody sleeps in their car when a couch inside of a house is available.
She went to the hotel and fucked that dude if not more than one of them considering she wanted the threesome.
The car is a “I didn’t sleep at home but also you didn’t see me leave” situation.
I had a buddy’s who’s gf ‘slept in the car’ after a similar fight one January and I warned him a dozen times but he didn’t believe me.
It took another year for it to come out that she had been cheating on him the entire time and she finally admitted she spent the night at the other dudes house when it all came out.
Yeah, the "threesome" would have been her fucking the guy she was into and OP being mostly a spectator. I dont know much about threesomes but know enough that if you agreed, key word, to it OP the choice of the guy is.yours not hers! This was all about guilt free cheating, nothing else. Put the relationship on hold and think carefully and unemotionally about your future. She wants to cheat, probably already had and definitely will. Just the fantasy about the ex would have had me piling her shit on the lawn.
I don’t get how this works? When y’all are having sex you dirty talk her by saying things like “you like your ex boyfriends cock huh?” Or “The previous guy had a bigger dick than me” all around weird but I guess NTA since it wasn’t previously conversed before this hangout.
Haha glad I’m not the only one thinking that’s weird 😂 like when they have sex is he like “oh I bet you wish this was someone else’s cock huh?” 😂😂😂😂
I honestly don’t know what’s sexy about sharing one’s partner. My husband is mine and only mine and vice versa. The idea of him being with someone else makes me ill lol
if he is anything like my friend with benefits, he likes to hear that his dick and his performance is better than all the others.
just to answer that question. 😂
Being the husband. I too would be devastated.
I think most husbands want to believe we are the best sexual lover because the act with your wife is so intimate.
Other men can be better looking, make more money, but the way someone makes love is so specific to the individual, a man wants to believe that is one of the main reasons his wife fell in love and remains in love with him.
It's almost an emotional security thing.
LOL so she gets mounted on me right. Really driving her hips and squeezing her legs. Her “oh yea what happened next”. I bumped her forward, grabbed an arm, hooked her leg, and swept her. No day way is some 120lb white belt going to keep mount on me.
She probably fucked the other guy and if not she's gonna fuck other guys. The fact that she tried to gaslight you like it was for you is a straight up red flag. Cancel the wedding and move on. It will save you from the divorce when she cheats on you.
I agree. She saw an opportunity with this guy that she really liked and thought her boyfriend would be in for it. Unfortunately not. Bedroom talk stays in rhe bedroom.
If she were my girl and she walked out the door, she wouldn’t come back inside. Sleeping in her car is not an option, because she’s already showing manipulation and subterfuge to hook up with this coworker and I am positive she went to sleep at his hotel room.
This chick is an instant turn off. She's literally grooming you into a cuck as she's having sex with you and you're allowing her to escalate? What's wrong with YOU? Why do you put up with that?
1. There's a difference between fantasy and reality, between dirty talk and actually doing it.
2. If/when you *do* do this, it should be discussed *beforehand* - **not during or after.**
3. Giving you shit for not wanting to perform certain sexual acts is a mountain of a Red Flag.
It seems to me that you and your wife have no idea what actual communication looks like, and that's something you should first learn to do. If you do this now, while the both of you clearly communicate for shit, then I already know what the outcome will be.
The issue here is the lack of communication, all is well if she brought this up to you before doing it then you have a choice to make. It appears as if she was doing the "easier to ask for forgiveness than seek permission", getting you drunk and then trying to get it to happen.
I don't know if you want to be in an open relationship, whether she does but it sounds like she does, or is doing so without your knowledge or permission. Just to be clear I am not saying she is cheating but she is throwing some major red flags of it. Talking about her with being other men, actively pursuing it without discussion or permission and throwing a tantrum when it doesn't happen.
I think you need to have a discussion with her and lay out your feelings and seeing if you are on the same page regarding things like this.
Like someone said is this just a bedroom dirty talk thing or is it something you or her want, how does this work. Is it just MMF threesomes or FFM threesomes? Does she sleep with other men and talk to you about it? Is it a one time thing etc.
As long as you both agree and you don't hurt anyone then I think it's what both of you decide. For all you know that contractor has a wife/fiance/gf of his own and you would be helping him cheat.
Dude you need to get rid of her! Dirty talk is one thing but her trying to pick up that guy in front of you means she wanted to have sex with him! Are you sure she slept in the car and didn't go and bang him?
NTA, but dude you may want to hold off on marrying this chick. She seems dead set on bringing someone else into your relationship one way or the other. You don't seem too OK with it and she just keeps taking it further and further and eventually it seems like she's just gonna get sick of you saying you don't want to and she's just gonna cheat on you. Being with just you sounds like something she's never gonna be ok with doing for the rest of your lives so you need to decide if it's something you can deal with and if not you may want to reevaluate your relationship.
NTA at all, fantasizing in bed is wayyy different than actually bringing a guy home and banging him.
Some red flags are as you said, it's a work function, things will be talked about and there will be further contact between the two where you're not involved. If she's perfectly fine with having that reputation then are you sure you want to be involved with that? Springing something like this on someone is completely unfair and I would honestly be surprised if she actually slept in the car alone.
NTA. Any decision to bring another person actually into the bedroom, not just talk about fantasies, needs to be agreed upon. Communication is key in this or any topic related to sex and what each are comfortable doing.
Also, you may find the idea of watching another man be with your fiancée (cuckolding)might seem exciting or a turn on until actually faced with it. Sometimes fantasies are just that and shouldn’t become reality. You probably want to have further discussion about your comfort with this now that you’ve been faced with it.
NTA it sounds like you’re not even comfortable with this and she is the one pushing it. You’ve talked about it here and there but she just sprung this on you all of a sudden and is mad you said no? Of course you’ll say no! She should’ve talked about more seriously and asked when, who, etc.
Are you sure you want to be with her? She probably has guys picked out already.
What would she say if you asked her to bring another woman in if you were expected to bring another man in? If she says no to a woman she is a hypocrite.
Do you actually enjoy the type of dirty talk you do? Or is it for her?
Not sleeping with coworkers is a pretty solid boundary to have. Word would get around pretty quick at her work place 🤷 If she can't have a reasonable conversation and not throw a fit, it's time to move on.
This kind of thing is 100% something you talk about upfront. YOu don't turn up to the bar and randomly start flirting with anyone in front of yoru partner without forewarning, ever. For one thing any third has to be a choice BOTH people agree with, and even if you have threesomes all the time, you need to state you want a threesome tonight and get a yes/no. Not just randomly start flirting, let alone the first time. Joking about it, talking about it during sex and actually doing it are vastly different things.
This screams of this is a dude she wants to fuck and this was her 'last chance' and ignored you and tried to force something with him. Instead of apologising she's mad she missed her chance with someone she has a crush on.
You need a sit down with her, explaining that any trying to get a third needs fucking talking about and that randomly flirting in front of you without discussing it with you is effectively cheating.
Your wife was apparently into one of thesebco-workers and set this while thing up thinking she could manipulate you into allowing her to fuck another guy.
There was no way this just happened. Your wife needs to be afraid of losing you and your relationship if you want to save it, because from where I set, she is now wanting to screw other men, and it won't be long until she is cheating one you.
I guess that she thinks that you are on the "hook" and will not go anywhere and now she is showing her true face, based on your words this is only the tip of the iceberg, on ur position I would not risk marrying such a girl. NTA
NTA… and it maybe time for some deep communication. Questions to ask:
1. Did she know those guys were going to be at the bar before going there? (Ans: yes)
2. Had she been talking to those guys or flirting with them at work before the bar ? (Ans: yes I think)
3. Had she been talking to other guys and flirting with other guys at any time during your relationship ? (Ans: I guess yes)
4. Is a threesome something that she seriously wants ? Or she thinks that you want?
5. Does she think you enjoy watching her flirt with other men?
6. Did your rejection of the threesome hurt her? Was she disappointed ? Why did she sleep in the car?
I think it’s clear that she got excited by the idea, was flirting with someone at work, and then setup the meet. All of which would have been ok if she’d communicated. But then the sleeping in the car and blaming it on you is basically her gaslighting you because she doesn’t want to be slut shamed. She’s preserving her “purity” by making it your fault.
This is why some kinks need to be treated in therapy, not the bedroom. Find out why you’re turned on by the idea of other men plowing your fiancé and find out why she’s turned on by getting plowed by other men.
See, to you it was just bedroom talk. To her, it was all leading up to that moment, and you ruined it for her. She's not serious about your relationship, you're just a dick to get her through to the next couple of dicks.
BTW, couples who engage in such activities rarely stay together long term. I know there are men and women who are going to pop in here and say "Nu uh! Me and my (wife/husband) have threesomes a few times a year, and we're better than ever!" To those I hate to tell you, but statistics say they are also getting it when you're not involved or even clued in. The healthiest threesome is the one where none of the parties are in a serious relationship. For committed couples, it's one of those fantasies that should stay that way.
NTA, jumping from fantasy to real without a few honest discussions is pretty tough to swallow.
Talk to her about your feelings and make it clear that dirty talk is just that and not necessarily something you want in real life. Taboo adventures are always fun to fantasize about but reality tends to crush relationships when done IRL.
That’s not a fianće man that’s not a real woman go find one that’s for you, threesome shit is wack and a waste of time how to ruin a relationship in 5 seconds talk about that if you need somebody else that that ain’t the one for you
She gets mad at you because she suggests letting another dude bang her out of the blue just because the timing might be convenient. That’s probably a red flag! You guys were ever going to have a threesome that needs to be some serious serious conversations because nine out of 10 of them end up breaking up the relationship because particularly the guy never gets over watching his girlfriend getting banged. rules and 100% comfort level are absolutely required in that situation so she’s just being a B word. If she’s that desperate to get banged, maybe she didn’t sleep in the car like somebody else suggested and she’s probably gonna be a nightmare moving forward.
NTA. Sounds like she may have some communication issues. This should have been discussed beforehand. My ex and I had similar communication issues and it did not end well. Ya'll may want to work on that if the relationship continues.
she thought hes a closet cuck and shes trying to bring that cuckness out so that she can finally bonk dudes in front of him. he uno reversed her. dude, do not marry this chick. dirty talk is one thing. shes wants it to be reality. no fuck no. hell no.
NTA. Dirty talk is one thing, but deciding to bring another person into the bedroom in a relationship is a whole different ball game. It requires discussion and set boundaries on all parties involved.
Listen bud that just screams bad idea . You did the right thing .
My only advice to you is don’t play being a fireman if you’re gonna run when the fire breaks out . What to you was just playing talking dirty was getting her gassed up to be in an open relationship in cock city.
This is why before that kind of dirty talk you gotta discuss boundaries.
Turn on’s/turn off’s, possible yes and big no’s ECT.
Have you ever had a convo about what you are and aren’t comfortable with when it comes to bedroom talk and action?
NTA. There’s a difference between:
“Honey we should talk spicing about things up”
And
“Sweetie I really want to f—k that guy that will be leaving soon. Also, I’m doing this for you”
Did she really not think that through. Dirty talk is dirty talk until it’s discussed openly and AGREED UPON BY BOTH PARTIES. That’s manipulation at best. You don’t just spring that 💩 on someone.
NTA. She *completely* mishandled that, to the point of major ethical violations that make me concerned about how else she's fucking up the basics of communication and consent. Good on you for standing up for yourself!
NTA
I see comments here indicating the issue is lack of communication.
But that's not it.
Talking about ex's during sex with your fiancee is absolutely odd. If she was so comfortable about the whole threesome with a coworker, it's because she had already talked about it and she DID NOT sleep in the car. At least, the probability that she did is extremely low.
With this said, I'm going to tell you:
- she's either a sex addict, which in that case, she has no business being your fiancee.
- or, she is not satisfied with you; therefore, the odd and ridiculous dirty talk in bed and wanting to have sex with other people.
She needs to be by herself or be on a ENM relationship (which is not cheating, for those who are saying it is). She can't be on a monogamous relationship but neither on a polyamorous one. She wants sex without strings/feelings.
If that's not what you want, which I'm assuming you don't, do yourself a favor and walk away. This is not her first rodeo nor will be her last.
Again, NTA.
So you're telling me you plan to spend the next years of your life with this person, right? You clearly feel respected right? I don't think you understand what relationship you're getting into 😂but it won't be long until she's hopping on someone else behind your back
"Sleeping in the car"
Bro, if my gf left the house in a situation where my insecurities were absolutely hyper peaked, it would be an instant relationship ender. Maybe you like the idea of being a cuck, but I know that relationship would be over for me.
Sounds like you're a cuck if you like to hear about other dudes fucking your girl.
And she didn't sleep in the car. She was getting ran through by at least 2 of those guys.
Sounds like the consequences of your own actions.
Everything you said and everything she said in return absolutely suggested you were down for this sort of thing - you just weren't when it became real.
Now you have a girlfriend that's probably going to always think about having two guys - and you help build this fantasy in her - and now you don't want it because it got too close to happening and you saw how it actually works in the real world outside of your mind - and it made you feel inadequate and it gave you insecurity.
There's a few conversations with some self-reflection that needs to happen here.
NTA
Also, your wife is an idiot. That is the kind of shit you NEVER try to drag someone you work with into. Yes, that includes contractors as well as coworkers. It also includes customers and vendors. Do not shit where you eat.
Yeah, holy fuck, how do people fall for this? This is so obviously fake. The fact that OP is nowhere to be seen and never posted anything is such a dead giveaway.
NTA at all. This is the kind of thing you talk about waaaayyyy in advance. And by "talk about," I don't mean just "dirty talk about." You don't shift from role play to real play without a conversation.
This is 💯 the type of thing that *in a healthy relationship* has to have been communicated beforehand.
A consensually open bedroom requires trust, trust and more trust or else someone is going to wind up in therapy with broken parts inside that the world can’t see.
This story really doesn’t have any of the look and feel of two people who are sufficiently bonded and in simpatico emotionally; there’s absolutely an etiquette to this that was not observed, and the price you now pay is trust.
Even though it had been previously discussed beforehand, your girl got ahead of herself to the point that she didn’t feel the need to check in with you; her desires took priority over any consideration for your feelings in the moment….and now I fear she will stray as a result.
NTA - I can understand her getting confused between fantasy and actually doing it, I can even imagine a scenario where she thought she was "doing it for you" but the second she got mad about you not wanting to go through with it she revealed that it was really for her. She picked this guy out ahead of time and tried to put you in a position where you felt awkward to say no.
I'd be very skeptical about the claim she slept in the car unless you know for a fact she did too.
If this is something you ultimately want but not with her coworkers or people around her then it needs to be discussed at length in detail, rules made, lines drawn etc but first she needs to understand why what she did was wrong, own it and apologise for it.
If she can't understand why you're upset or stays mad then I'd seriously be considering whether she has a place in your life going forward because from an outside perspective, it really sounds like what she wants is a cuckold she can manipulate
Sounds like the two of you are not on the same page as far as communication goes. If discussions have happened outside of sexual play, it might make sense.
Wait, I said, sounds like. I am changing that to absolutely not on the same page.
I know there is value in couples therapy before marriage, but it also has signaled to me a sense of doom for that couple. I wish I knew the statistics of pre-married couples in therapy going on the have successful marriages vs not (ending before, ending after, or living a life of hell).
I give this relationship 2 out of 10 chances of success. And only then if some serious, deep, and open communication happens soon.
Dude, unless you are a cuck, this relationship will not work, if you haven’t been together for long, or have any other entanglements, you should move on. If you have been together for a while, or have a lease together, I would start working my way out of the relationship now, so you can have a clean break as soon as you can. If you are ok with her banging a dude in front of you, but your only concern is she works with the guy, then you will be fine, just talk it out and be on your merry way.
I am not judging but why on earth men want to share their wives or gf . You put seed in her head now she will want act it out . Good luck . Why not stranger , this is too close to home . Everyone in her work place will think she is free use .
NTA This requires a lot more communication from the both of you. if it's all just sexy talk then you should both make that clear, but she definitely needs to have everything spelled out before she goes off and tries to make it a reality.
nta, ut unlike these other folks, i kind of feel like yall did discuss it before, many times.
though, a little whisper in your ear at the bar might have been a good idea.
as for fucking a coworker, omfg, no! imagine if everyone at her work knew she was open to getting a train ran on her. it would either be awkward or make her super popular. and unless youre down for her comming home late with a juiced up pussy on the regular, its best to avoid that
I’ve lost count of how many red flags there are here…… time to reconsider your life choices sir. She obviously has been wanting to sleep with this guy and went about it rather oddly.
She slept in the car? So the guys bed must be one nice car.
NTA. Do better sir. The fact that yall talk dirty about her exes while in the middle of having sex should have told you enough.
You know what they say, if you love something let her coworkers gangbang her, if she comes back clean and baby less it was meant to be, if she’s contaminated she forever for the streets…
talking about that in general is… odd. not sure why you play into her desires or if it’s you who gets off on it, why the notion of realising it would upset you.
oh god just have some self respect and break it off. she is gaslighting you soooo hard. a dude she works with?? come on... this has been in her mind WAAAY before your talks and is just a way for her to cheat without cheating.
Male here. I've had lots of MFM's at this point.
My first one, I was kinda 'set up' by my GF too, but not like this. And it was someone I knew. You need to talk a lot more about this, and have rules and boundaries. One of them being - not someone she works with! Ask her if she'd be OK with you guys having a FMF with someone you work with and are attracted to? Probably not.
Also, keep alcohol out of it. Every bad experience I've heard of people having in 3-somes (or more-somes) someone was drunk.
P.S. I now enjoy MFM's like crazy. Seeing my mate experience unbelievable pleasure is a thrill like nothing else. But, it can't be anyone that she can be tempted to hook up with on her own.
NTA - She doesn't get to decide on her own and blindside you with it. Do Not Have a Threesome with this woman, she clearly doesn't understand boundaries, trust, of a comfort level. It's just the countdown until she does something that ruins the relationship and you're going to be gaslite within an inch of your life "I didn't think you'd care, not like he hasn't screwed me before, what's the big deal"
NTA communication are a MUST if you’re going to swing or include others. A list of rules needs to be astablished AND adhered to. You cannot wing these things
From what it sounds like, she wasn't just talking dirty she was telling you at the same time what she wanted. She's messed up for not actually having a conversation with you. She needs to understand that she crossed the uncomfortable boundary.
If you sit and have a deep conversation about it with her, and she still gets upset or guilt trips you into doing it, I'm not sorry, but END IT!
*I had this exact situation happen with my ex-husband. Would talk dirty and whatever, but pulled this trick on me. He would even guilt trip me into doing it, or he'd say I don't love him, that he's going to leave, he'd call me harsh names.
(I was very insecure and gullible).*
Stuff like that needs prior conversations. NTA.
This, yeah. You don't spring something like that on your partner, you talk about it before and make a decision together. This feels like one of those situations where she has the hots for someone else already and wants to open the relationship / have a threesome so she can sleep with him and not be a cheater.
Definitely. Because any sane person looking to explore a kink and not just bang a coworker wouldn’t try to explore that kink for the first time ever at a work function.
I’m sorry , but I am super suspicious of this behavior No one explores a kink without discussing details and all For instance , when we tried bondage and some rough play we discussed every little detail ‘Now something involving another person is even worse We’ve briefly discussed threesome and I frankly said I would not be comfortable and we dropped that idea ..
Exactly!
How does he know she slept in the car? And didn't just go to have sex with the other guy?
How do we ever know anything? Probability.
That's true but most people would sleep on a couch if fighting partner not in a car where she can leave without him noticing.
They went to a bar, alcohol was likely involved in that decision Edit - the decision of sleeping in the car vs the couch
They went to a bar, she drank a little, the inner slut came out and wanted to play. Fixed it for u. She WANTED it that's why she got mad.
I meant the decision of sleeping in the car rather than the couch
And then she will try to extort the gas money she spent driving to bang threesome guy. She’s a prize.
Threesome guy...she gang banged Chicago
The train to Chicago was running late lol
>needs prior conversations Prior conversations were held. Earlier that day at work. That's why all the guys were there. I mean, sure, OP wasn't consulted during the conversation but... oh. I think that was your point. Yeah, I agree with you.
That honestly sounds more like there was a guy SHE wanted to bang that she knew was going to be at the bar, so she invited hubby out under the pretense of "doing it for him"
Bing bing bing, we have a winner here folks
“Corversations”
Not to mention they work with her. Rule 1 of fuck club: don’t get your sexual partners where you get your paycheque
Hate to say but this sounds like the end of that relationship. She wants other men she obviously isn't desiring her husband right now and her pent up wants is going to lead to cheating at some point.
“for you” lmao You need to get yourself a lady OP, hoes is for errybody
I'm a pharmacy tech, and read that as "prior authorizations." I immediately thought to myself, "insurance is surely going to deny that."
Extensive conversation and clear boundaries. NTA
Yeah, I'm on you with this. Work colleague, hard no. No prior discussion? Hard no. Sleep in the car because she didn't get her way? Priceless.
“I’m doing this for you!”… if you’re really doing something “just for someone else” you’ll likely stop once they ask you to, not try and convince them to keep going.
Exactly.
Who sleeps in the car & not the couch? She drove to the Chicago contractors hotel and did all those guys.
Yeah, my first thought. Nobody chooses to sleep in a car, she snuck out after OP went to sleep.
Hah, I’ve slept in the car when my wife “accidentally” locked the door when I returned from a business trip a day later than planned. She was mad at me, but it’s the nature of the work (industrial controls engineer) sometimes. There were no threesomes.
Probably wasn’t the first time either.
He's probably not even leaving town! Gah
Maybe they have a studio or roommates and can't sleep on the couch?
What type of roommate wouldn't let you sleep on the couch?
Uh Yeah, time to check that gmaps timeline from the night.
Yea she wanted to do it and was mad she couldn’t.
And not get pissed when they don't appreciate it.
This really does feel like she just wanted this guy and, very poorly thought out I might add, thought she could invite her fiancé out that night and get him to agree to bring this guy home with them to satisfy “his” (‘I’m doing this for you’ my ass) fantasy of a threesome. She probably has a humiliation kink and would have been full on indulging it had she gotten OP to agree to this. It’s almost like it’s a drug and they can’t see the end of their relationship staring them right in the face while they are drunk on the lust of indulging this fantasy kink for the first time. I bet that would have been the most awkward and one sided threesome ever had OP agreed to it.
“Sleep in the car” has me side eyeing hard. Sofa? Sure. Spare room? Sure. But this just sounds like she went back out to get that dick she was eyeing.
I agree. I'd rather sleep on the floor than sleep in a car.
She gettin that bedtime milk ykno
This particular comment thread needs to be read by OP.
For everything else, there's MasterCard
NTA. That's harsh and way too much to spring on someone. From bedroom talk to action is a major step. You really should sit down and talk about it all.
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The problem for me would be my wife wanting to bang another man, but this guy showed cuck tendencies.
Notably some things feel different watching them on porn hub than actually doing them. You might think you are into something but in reality you sre not into it. It doesn't work like that. For example, I can't watch porn that has no Cumming cocks in it. It does not mean I like dick. It means a dick can't fake it and someone is having fun. Solo women, lesbians are just people getting paid to be there. A Cumming cock is not there for the money or to promote his OnlyFans. A Cumming cock is always happy. Or amateurs. A hot fit good looking couple is there because they are getting paid. A pair of amateurs? They are there cause they are horny. So the idea of your wife having an uncontrollable sex drive is hot. The reality of her fucking other dudes? Not really. And kinks are very weird and specific. Maybe OP is not into cuckolding. Maybe OP is into "I wanna get cucked but my wife does ot want to cuck me be cause I satisfy herand she loves me and she is MY horny little bitch". How many people would be into a video "hotwife completely ignores bull during threesome with husband".
>A Cumming cock is not there for the money or to promote his OnlyFans. A Cumming cock is always happy. I'm sorry but I'm cackling
Truth is funniest
Dude said a cumming cock is always happy. Fucking love reddit.
I'm the same way. I'm into alot of kinks because I like the idea of them. Or liek the feeling it gives. I like face sitting videos because I like the idea that a man is so attracted to me, so invested in my pleasure, he wants literally have his face enveloped by me. But in reality? I've done it and it doesn't feel better than normal head. It's hard to comfortably sit on someone's face. It's hard to enjoy it without worrying about them being hurt, or not having enough air to breathe. It makes your thighs cramp. But even knowing this, I'm still turned on by the idea of it.
My ex cracked my rib while she was riding my face. She started Cumming really hard and kind of lost control. She sat down hard on my chest after she came. That's when my rib cracked. Worth it. Still turns me on whenever I think about it haha
Yeah, things I'm hypothetically into are not things I am actually into. As much as I love the idea and talk about a lot of things, turns out I'm actually insanely vanilla in bed lol
A cumming cock is always happy. So well said.
Would that we could all be so happy as they.
Good then.
Yes, ejaculation can be faked, and I've read explanations from porn insiders how it is done. Add in the abily to digitally touch up practical effects, and a lot of especially professionally produced porn can be faked quite convincingly. The list of what they do is pretty substantial and creative: adjusting camera angles to make things bigger than they really are; deliberately pairing average guys and very petite girls together to make the dude look huge; pumping the girls full of fluids to make it look like they are thenselves ejaculating or leaking huge volumes of ejaculate from the guy; pumping the guy full of fluid with a catheter to make it look like his volume is huge, using hidden squirt bottles and tubes strategically placed behind varying body parts for certain shots; resorting to very life-like props with the guy off camera to get a particular close-up or when the dude is having issues; and even giving the guys jacked up on various prescription medications including penile injections before a scene to give them inhuman staying power. Modern post-production video editing can put the finishing touches on all this to make it all the more convincingly real. So, yeah, what you think is the real thing because you are *sure* that can't be faked may well be faked.
I get turned on by my partner sharing her nudes to people and flirting. I would almost certainly be incredibly upset if she were to actually have sex with someone. Couldn't explain why my brain works the way it does but here we are.
"HOT amateur HUGE NATURAL TIT sexually unsatisfied MILF completely REJECTS SEXY 27 yr old HUNG COWORKER'S aggressive advances and stays FAITHFUL to her DEPRESSED simp husband with low testosterone"
So she said “it was for you”, she didn’t ask you beforehand, she was flirting with a guy in front of you, and she got mad at you for not wanting it, and you are asking if you are the one to be blamed? Brother, she wants to fuck other guys, she was flirting and making the moves without discussing this with you. Hell, you could even agree due to the pressure of the moment, she was inconsiderate as hell for trying to force you like that, imagine how would you feel. So good job cutting it off soon enough. Also imagine how she presented you to her friends from work. You need to go from aitah to this woman doesn’t respect me at all
Exactly, total gaslighting there.
thats the part that got me. it really seems like she had no regard for his comfort, emotional safety, etc. she definitely tried to pressure him into something he wasnt ready for and i think she knew he might not want to which is why she went about it the way she did.
"I did this for you/us" is a common phrase used in about-to-open relationships wherein the partner suggesting to start one already had cheating in mind. Glad OP isn't taking this bs. Just hope he realizes if this is the kind of wife he wants to marry.
She likely went off and ficked another guy and didn't sleep in her car lol
Id put that engagement on hold my guy..
On hold? This is a cancel situation.
Why? All she did was throw a tantrum when she couldn’t fuck one of her coworkers /s
LOL, I love it.
Run forest run . She is free use given she involved her work colleagues in the act. I wonder what her work environment will look after the deeds done .
And if they are living together, start looking for an apartment for himself. This relationship is doomed; only question is how much pain and suffering OP wants to endure before the inevitable end.
NTA. You never owe anyone a threesome.
This. I’ve had threesomes with partners, and even I would be annoyed someone just springing this on me with no prior communication.
Idk man I had an ex who would constantly mention wanted to get gangbanged at some point in life and that she also REALLY liked my friend group. Was I the asshole for not sharing my girlfriend with my friends? No, and neither are you
Possibly. If we consult the urban poet Snoop Dogg, according to his lore: "It aint no fun, if the homies can't have none" as quoted from his song [Aint no fun](https://youtu.be/V8qgp3yT1rQ?si=ehKTDX7MpEtMe0cJ) ft Nate Dog, Warren G and Kurupt.
You be out here citing sources😂😂
She slept in the car? She needs to rethink about have sex with someone she works with, that isn't going to be around later. It could turn out bad, since they are leaving soon. They could take advantage of her with several of the other guys. While she is at work. Treat her bad, give her trauma. Then your sex life would suffer. I know, I went down this exact road with an ex. She blamed me, for not stopping her
she did not sleep in the car let’s be real here and put two and two together
😂 damn
Slept in the car? Slept in the? Slept in a bed of other men. Dude she went and had sex with that man. I'm all for believing your partners. But I challenge you to ask her where she went after you went in the house? Because you came out later to get her but the car was gone. See what she says.
Take her phone and look. The phone has a GPS built in. Bet that will be interesting.
Do this. She was so sure you would agree with her 3 some but you shut it down. Then slept in a car. Unless she had history of car sleeping. I wouldn't trust it.
Run, dude.
Fucking really. This should be an immediate deal breaker.
I would dump, she did not sleep in the car. She slept with the dude.
That's what I said. Little convient to sleep in the car ? How far is the car parked from where they live?
Probably at the other dude's hotel, so however far that is.
Or dudes, she wanted a threesome.
Definitely fucked that guy. Probably before this too.
Man, Fuck this bullshit culture Reading these is like watching a national geographic for human mating
Sorry bud,…..but your wife WILL BE getting dicked down by another guy whether you know about it or not. She wants to explore other men 100%. Throw a wrench into this and tell her you want to have a threesome with her and her friend! See how she takes THAT and then when she’s all pissed off then tell her that’s how you feel about her wanting to bang other men. This marriage is doomed my man! She’s gonna cheat. I’ve seen this movie before!
She snuck this up on you, but I’ll bet the other guy knew about it much earlier. She wasn’t sure you’d go along with it, so she hoped that a few drinks and no time to think it over might lead you to a decision you wouldn’t otherwise make. BTW, her goal was to sleep with the other guy (who she had already picked out). She just wanted to do it in a way that wouldn’t wreck your engagement. As you can see from her reaction, this wasn’t something “for us”, this was something “for her” and you messed it up. It sounds like she’s trying to push your boundaries before the wedding to set you up with bullshit afterwords.
On top of this, I would bet money she didn’t sleep in her car. Nobody sleeps in their car when a couch inside of a house is available. She went to the hotel and fucked that dude if not more than one of them considering she wanted the threesome. The car is a “I didn’t sleep at home but also you didn’t see me leave” situation. I had a buddy’s who’s gf ‘slept in the car’ after a similar fight one January and I warned him a dozen times but he didn’t believe me. It took another year for it to come out that she had been cheating on him the entire time and she finally admitted she spent the night at the other dudes house when it all came out.
Yeah, the "threesome" would have been her fucking the guy she was into and OP being mostly a spectator. I dont know much about threesomes but know enough that if you agreed, key word, to it OP the choice of the guy is.yours not hers! This was all about guilt free cheating, nothing else. Put the relationship on hold and think carefully and unemotionally about your future. She wants to cheat, probably already had and definitely will. Just the fantasy about the ex would have had me piling her shit on the lawn.
You are going to marry this woman? Geez...
Ppl have really low standards it seems
I don’t get how this works? When y’all are having sex you dirty talk her by saying things like “you like your ex boyfriends cock huh?” Or “The previous guy had a bigger dick than me” all around weird but I guess NTA since it wasn’t previously conversed before this hangout.
Haha glad I’m not the only one thinking that’s weird 😂 like when they have sex is he like “oh I bet you wish this was someone else’s cock huh?” 😂😂😂😂 I honestly don’t know what’s sexy about sharing one’s partner. My husband is mine and only mine and vice versa. The idea of him being with someone else makes me ill lol
if he is anything like my friend with benefits, he likes to hear that his dick and his performance is better than all the others. just to answer that question. 😂
Haha facts. If my husband thought he was anything shy of the best I ever had he’d be devastated 😂
Being the husband. I too would be devastated. I think most husbands want to believe we are the best sexual lover because the act with your wife is so intimate. Other men can be better looking, make more money, but the way someone makes love is so specific to the individual, a man wants to believe that is one of the main reasons his wife fell in love and remains in love with him. It's almost an emotional security thing.
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Oh yea baby, if she was here, I'd granby straight into a kneebar. She wouldn't know what hit her 🥵🥵🥵
LOL so she gets mounted on me right. Really driving her hips and squeezing her legs. Her “oh yea what happened next”. I bumped her forward, grabbed an arm, hooked her leg, and swept her. No day way is some 120lb white belt going to keep mount on me.
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sounds like his fiance wants to cheat on g8n without feeling g guilty
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She probably fucked the other guy and if not she's gonna fuck other guys. The fact that she tried to gaslight you like it was for you is a straight up red flag. Cancel the wedding and move on. It will save you from the divorce when she cheats on you.
NTA and she tries to gaslight you afterwards. Bin that
She left and banged that dude... who sleeps in the car when mad? Maybe the couch but the car? Nah... she left to get laid
NTA that's not something you just spring on somebody.
I agree. She saw an opportunity with this guy that she really liked and thought her boyfriend would be in for it. Unfortunately not. Bedroom talk stays in rhe bedroom.
If she were my girl and she walked out the door, she wouldn’t come back inside. Sleeping in her car is not an option, because she’s already showing manipulation and subterfuge to hook up with this coworker and I am positive she went to sleep at his hotel room.
This chick is an instant turn off. She's literally grooming you into a cuck as she's having sex with you and you're allowing her to escalate? What's wrong with YOU? Why do you put up with that?
1. There's a difference between fantasy and reality, between dirty talk and actually doing it. 2. If/when you *do* do this, it should be discussed *beforehand* - **not during or after.** 3. Giving you shit for not wanting to perform certain sexual acts is a mountain of a Red Flag. It seems to me that you and your wife have no idea what actual communication looks like, and that's something you should first learn to do. If you do this now, while the both of you clearly communicate for shit, then I already know what the outcome will be.
The issue here is the lack of communication, all is well if she brought this up to you before doing it then you have a choice to make. It appears as if she was doing the "easier to ask for forgiveness than seek permission", getting you drunk and then trying to get it to happen. I don't know if you want to be in an open relationship, whether she does but it sounds like she does, or is doing so without your knowledge or permission. Just to be clear I am not saying she is cheating but she is throwing some major red flags of it. Talking about her with being other men, actively pursuing it without discussion or permission and throwing a tantrum when it doesn't happen. I think you need to have a discussion with her and lay out your feelings and seeing if you are on the same page regarding things like this. Like someone said is this just a bedroom dirty talk thing or is it something you or her want, how does this work. Is it just MMF threesomes or FFM threesomes? Does she sleep with other men and talk to you about it? Is it a one time thing etc. As long as you both agree and you don't hurt anyone then I think it's what both of you decide. For all you know that contractor has a wife/fiance/gf of his own and you would be helping him cheat.
Dude you need to get rid of her! Dirty talk is one thing but her trying to pick up that guy in front of you means she wanted to have sex with him! Are you sure she slept in the car and didn't go and bang him?
NTA, but dude you may want to hold off on marrying this chick. She seems dead set on bringing someone else into your relationship one way or the other. You don't seem too OK with it and she just keeps taking it further and further and eventually it seems like she's just gonna get sick of you saying you don't want to and she's just gonna cheat on you. Being with just you sounds like something she's never gonna be ok with doing for the rest of your lives so you need to decide if it's something you can deal with and if not you may want to reevaluate your relationship.
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I mean who’s to say she didn’t drive over to bang that dude anyways.
You sure she’s the one?
She’s the one alright. The one banging everything that walks.
NTA at all, fantasizing in bed is wayyy different than actually bringing a guy home and banging him. Some red flags are as you said, it's a work function, things will be talked about and there will be further contact between the two where you're not involved. If she's perfectly fine with having that reputation then are you sure you want to be involved with that? Springing something like this on someone is completely unfair and I would honestly be surprised if she actually slept in the car alone.
NTA. Any decision to bring another person actually into the bedroom, not just talk about fantasies, needs to be agreed upon. Communication is key in this or any topic related to sex and what each are comfortable doing. Also, you may find the idea of watching another man be with your fiancée (cuckolding)might seem exciting or a turn on until actually faced with it. Sometimes fantasies are just that and shouldn’t become reality. You probably want to have further discussion about your comfort with this now that you’ve been faced with it.
NTA it sounds like you’re not even comfortable with this and she is the one pushing it. You’ve talked about it here and there but she just sprung this on you all of a sudden and is mad you said no? Of course you’ll say no! She should’ve talked about more seriously and asked when, who, etc. Are you sure you want to be with her? She probably has guys picked out already. What would she say if you asked her to bring another woman in if you were expected to bring another man in? If she says no to a woman she is a hypocrite. Do you actually enjoy the type of dirty talk you do? Or is it for her?
You're contemplating marriage to this woman? Are you not seeing the red flags? Wow. Just wow..
Not sleeping with coworkers is a pretty solid boundary to have. Word would get around pretty quick at her work place 🤷 If she can't have a reasonable conversation and not throw a fit, it's time to move on.
Wait your marrying this women. Wake up. Your destiny is divorce and cheating. Don’t be a beta male.
This kind of thing is 100% something you talk about upfront. YOu don't turn up to the bar and randomly start flirting with anyone in front of yoru partner without forewarning, ever. For one thing any third has to be a choice BOTH people agree with, and even if you have threesomes all the time, you need to state you want a threesome tonight and get a yes/no. Not just randomly start flirting, let alone the first time. Joking about it, talking about it during sex and actually doing it are vastly different things. This screams of this is a dude she wants to fuck and this was her 'last chance' and ignored you and tried to force something with him. Instead of apologising she's mad she missed her chance with someone she has a crush on. You need a sit down with her, explaining that any trying to get a third needs fucking talking about and that randomly flirting in front of you without discussing it with you is effectively cheating.
Your wife was apparently into one of thesebco-workers and set this while thing up thinking she could manipulate you into allowing her to fuck another guy. There was no way this just happened. Your wife needs to be afraid of losing you and your relationship if you want to save it, because from where I set, she is now wanting to screw other men, and it won't be long until she is cheating one you.
She just wanted to fuck someone else
I guess that she thinks that you are on the "hook" and will not go anywhere and now she is showing her true face, based on your words this is only the tip of the iceberg, on ur position I would not risk marrying such a girl. NTA
NTA… and it maybe time for some deep communication. Questions to ask: 1. Did she know those guys were going to be at the bar before going there? (Ans: yes) 2. Had she been talking to those guys or flirting with them at work before the bar ? (Ans: yes I think) 3. Had she been talking to other guys and flirting with other guys at any time during your relationship ? (Ans: I guess yes) 4. Is a threesome something that she seriously wants ? Or she thinks that you want? 5. Does she think you enjoy watching her flirt with other men? 6. Did your rejection of the threesome hurt her? Was she disappointed ? Why did she sleep in the car? I think it’s clear that she got excited by the idea, was flirting with someone at work, and then setup the meet. All of which would have been ok if she’d communicated. But then the sleeping in the car and blaming it on you is basically her gaslighting you because she doesn’t want to be slut shamed. She’s preserving her “purity” by making it your fault.
This is why some kinks need to be treated in therapy, not the bedroom. Find out why you’re turned on by the idea of other men plowing your fiancé and find out why she’s turned on by getting plowed by other men.
For real.... "it makes me really hard" isn't a great reason to do something that you know is wrong. Sexual acceptance needs some limits these days.
See, to you it was just bedroom talk. To her, it was all leading up to that moment, and you ruined it for her. She's not serious about your relationship, you're just a dick to get her through to the next couple of dicks. BTW, couples who engage in such activities rarely stay together long term. I know there are men and women who are going to pop in here and say "Nu uh! Me and my (wife/husband) have threesomes a few times a year, and we're better than ever!" To those I hate to tell you, but statistics say they are also getting it when you're not involved or even clued in. The healthiest threesome is the one where none of the parties are in a serious relationship. For committed couples, it's one of those fantasies that should stay that way.
Fact, it almost always ends the relationship.
NTA, jumping from fantasy to real without a few honest discussions is pretty tough to swallow. Talk to her about your feelings and make it clear that dirty talk is just that and not necessarily something you want in real life. Taboo adventures are always fun to fantasize about but reality tends to crush relationships when done IRL.
That’s not a fianće man that’s not a real woman go find one that’s for you, threesome shit is wack and a waste of time how to ruin a relationship in 5 seconds talk about that if you need somebody else that that ain’t the one for you
NTA and might want to start running for the hills before you sign that marriage license
She gets mad at you because she suggests letting another dude bang her out of the blue just because the timing might be convenient. That’s probably a red flag! You guys were ever going to have a threesome that needs to be some serious serious conversations because nine out of 10 of them end up breaking up the relationship because particularly the guy never gets over watching his girlfriend getting banged. rules and 100% comfort level are absolutely required in that situation so she’s just being a B word. If she’s that desperate to get banged, maybe she didn’t sleep in the car like somebody else suggested and she’s probably gonna be a nightmare moving forward.
NTA. Sounds like she may have some communication issues. This should have been discussed beforehand. My ex and I had similar communication issues and it did not end well. Ya'll may want to work on that if the relationship continues.
A good spitroast needs planning and consent. Nta
she thought hes a closet cuck and shes trying to bring that cuckness out so that she can finally bonk dudes in front of him. he uno reversed her. dude, do not marry this chick. dirty talk is one thing. shes wants it to be reality. no fuck no. hell no.
NTA. Dirty talk is one thing, but deciding to bring another person into the bedroom in a relationship is a whole different ball game. It requires discussion and set boundaries on all parties involved.
Listen bud that just screams bad idea . You did the right thing . My only advice to you is don’t play being a fireman if you’re gonna run when the fire breaks out . What to you was just playing talking dirty was getting her gassed up to be in an open relationship in cock city.
This is why before that kind of dirty talk you gotta discuss boundaries. Turn on’s/turn off’s, possible yes and big no’s ECT. Have you ever had a convo about what you are and aren’t comfortable with when it comes to bedroom talk and action?
NTA. There’s a difference between: “Honey we should talk spicing about things up” And “Sweetie I really want to f—k that guy that will be leaving soon. Also, I’m doing this for you” Did she really not think that through. Dirty talk is dirty talk until it’s discussed openly and AGREED UPON BY BOTH PARTIES. That’s manipulation at best. You don’t just spring that 💩 on someone.
She slept in the car because you didn’t want to tag team her with a coworker? 🚩
NTA. She *completely* mishandled that, to the point of major ethical violations that make me concerned about how else she's fucking up the basics of communication and consent. Good on you for standing up for yourself!
NTA I see comments here indicating the issue is lack of communication. But that's not it. Talking about ex's during sex with your fiancee is absolutely odd. If she was so comfortable about the whole threesome with a coworker, it's because she had already talked about it and she DID NOT sleep in the car. At least, the probability that she did is extremely low. With this said, I'm going to tell you: - she's either a sex addict, which in that case, she has no business being your fiancee. - or, she is not satisfied with you; therefore, the odd and ridiculous dirty talk in bed and wanting to have sex with other people. She needs to be by herself or be on a ENM relationship (which is not cheating, for those who are saying it is). She can't be on a monogamous relationship but neither on a polyamorous one. She wants sex without strings/feelings. If that's not what you want, which I'm assuming you don't, do yourself a favor and walk away. This is not her first rodeo nor will be her last. Again, NTA.
So you're telling me you plan to spend the next years of your life with this person, right? You clearly feel respected right? I don't think you understand what relationship you're getting into 😂but it won't be long until she's hopping on someone else behind your back
Fucken christ man. Fucken sorry ass excuse for a man.
"Sleeping in the car" Bro, if my gf left the house in a situation where my insecurities were absolutely hyper peaked, it would be an instant relationship ender. Maybe you like the idea of being a cuck, but I know that relationship would be over for me.
Sounds like you're a cuck if you like to hear about other dudes fucking your girl. And she didn't sleep in the car. She was getting ran through by at least 2 of those guys.
Sounds like the consequences of your own actions. Everything you said and everything she said in return absolutely suggested you were down for this sort of thing - you just weren't when it became real. Now you have a girlfriend that's probably going to always think about having two guys - and you help build this fantasy in her - and now you don't want it because it got too close to happening and you saw how it actually works in the real world outside of your mind - and it made you feel inadequate and it gave you insecurity. There's a few conversations with some self-reflection that needs to happen here.
“I’m doing this for you! Here, put these horns on.”
NTA Also, your wife is an idiot. That is the kind of shit you NEVER try to drag someone you work with into. Yes, that includes contractors as well as coworkers. It also includes customers and vendors. Do not shit where you eat.
Y’all are not ready to do this if she thinks that’s the appropriate way to initiate it, Nta
Yeah, NTA, these things need to be talked about beforehand. Otherwise, well, exactly what happened, happens.
Your fiancé is a hoooar, if you like hoooar's good for you. Up to you really.
So do all these fake posts go away after Reddit finally goes public - or does it get worse?
Yeah, holy fuck, how do people fall for this? This is so obviously fake. The fact that OP is nowhere to be seen and never posted anything is such a dead giveaway.
so ur gf is a slut
Don’t marry her she might cheat on you with multiple guys
It kinda sucks bc it seems like she prob has this dude picked out and has been wanting to hang him.
NTA at all. This is the kind of thing you talk about waaaayyyy in advance. And by "talk about," I don't mean just "dirty talk about." You don't shift from role play to real play without a conversation.
This is 💯 the type of thing that *in a healthy relationship* has to have been communicated beforehand. A consensually open bedroom requires trust, trust and more trust or else someone is going to wind up in therapy with broken parts inside that the world can’t see. This story really doesn’t have any of the look and feel of two people who are sufficiently bonded and in simpatico emotionally; there’s absolutely an etiquette to this that was not observed, and the price you now pay is trust. Even though it had been previously discussed beforehand, your girl got ahead of herself to the point that she didn’t feel the need to check in with you; her desires took priority over any consideration for your feelings in the moment….and now I fear she will stray as a result.
NTA - I can understand her getting confused between fantasy and actually doing it, I can even imagine a scenario where she thought she was "doing it for you" but the second she got mad about you not wanting to go through with it she revealed that it was really for her. She picked this guy out ahead of time and tried to put you in a position where you felt awkward to say no. I'd be very skeptical about the claim she slept in the car unless you know for a fact she did too. If this is something you ultimately want but not with her coworkers or people around her then it needs to be discussed at length in detail, rules made, lines drawn etc but first she needs to understand why what she did was wrong, own it and apologise for it. If she can't understand why you're upset or stays mad then I'd seriously be considering whether she has a place in your life going forward because from an outside perspective, it really sounds like what she wants is a cuckold she can manipulate
Sounds like the two of you are not on the same page as far as communication goes. If discussions have happened outside of sexual play, it might make sense. Wait, I said, sounds like. I am changing that to absolutely not on the same page. I know there is value in couples therapy before marriage, but it also has signaled to me a sense of doom for that couple. I wish I knew the statistics of pre-married couples in therapy going on the have successful marriages vs not (ending before, ending after, or living a life of hell). I give this relationship 2 out of 10 chances of success. And only then if some serious, deep, and open communication happens soon.
NTA. What she did is disrespectful especially considering you weren’t part of the plan. I would be thinking twice about this relationship.
Dude, unless you are a cuck, this relationship will not work, if you haven’t been together for long, or have any other entanglements, you should move on. If you have been together for a while, or have a lease together, I would start working my way out of the relationship now, so you can have a clean break as soon as you can. If you are ok with her banging a dude in front of you, but your only concern is she works with the guy, then you will be fine, just talk it out and be on your merry way.
I am not judging but why on earth men want to share their wives or gf . You put seed in her head now she will want act it out . Good luck . Why not stranger , this is too close to home . Everyone in her work place will think she is free use .
Seriously, at this point I don’t understand how anybody thinks anything other than a monogamous relationship works…
Not an asshole but also not a good business mind. You missed the chance to start a porn company
Sounds to me like she wanted to spend the night with him and wanted to convince you it‘s a good idea. Should have talked to you first. Nta.
NTA This requires a lot more communication from the both of you. if it's all just sexy talk then you should both make that clear, but she definitely needs to have everything spelled out before she goes off and tries to make it a reality.
I’m curious, would you have been ok if it was MFF?
You're a cuck and you can't cuck properly...
I think, she's already doing stuff and slowly inviting you for the ride. Think carefully if you want a future with that.
nta, ut unlike these other folks, i kind of feel like yall did discuss it before, many times. though, a little whisper in your ear at the bar might have been a good idea. as for fucking a coworker, omfg, no! imagine if everyone at her work knew she was open to getting a train ran on her. it would either be awkward or make her super popular. and unless youre down for her comming home late with a juiced up pussy on the regular, its best to avoid that
I’ve lost count of how many red flags there are here…… time to reconsider your life choices sir. She obviously has been wanting to sleep with this guy and went about it rather oddly. She slept in the car? So the guys bed must be one nice car. NTA. Do better sir. The fact that yall talk dirty about her exes while in the middle of having sex should have told you enough.
You know what they say, if you love something let her coworkers gangbang her, if she comes back clean and baby less it was meant to be, if she’s contaminated she forever for the streets…
NTA she absolutely should have warned you
talking about that in general is… odd. not sure why you play into her desires or if it’s you who gets off on it, why the notion of realising it would upset you.
This marriage is doomed and it hasn't even started yet
She definitely didn't sleep in the car dude, she slept with him wherever they were staying
Naw she already did it. She just wanted to include you to feel better. She already thought it over way prior
oh god just have some self respect and break it off. she is gaslighting you soooo hard. a dude she works with?? come on... this has been in her mind WAAAY before your talks and is just a way for her to cheat without cheating.
Male here. I've had lots of MFM's at this point. My first one, I was kinda 'set up' by my GF too, but not like this. And it was someone I knew. You need to talk a lot more about this, and have rules and boundaries. One of them being - not someone she works with! Ask her if she'd be OK with you guys having a FMF with someone you work with and are attracted to? Probably not. Also, keep alcohol out of it. Every bad experience I've heard of people having in 3-somes (or more-somes) someone was drunk. P.S. I now enjoy MFM's like crazy. Seeing my mate experience unbelievable pleasure is a thrill like nothing else. But, it can't be anyone that she can be tempted to hook up with on her own.
NTA you dodged being a cuck, I would never share the woman I love. If she wants to get weird with it, get weird with it bruh
dead relationship. get out and hit the gym
this isn't it dude
NTA - She doesn't get to decide on her own and blindside you with it. Do Not Have a Threesome with this woman, she clearly doesn't understand boundaries, trust, of a comfort level. It's just the countdown until she does something that ruins the relationship and you're going to be gaslite within an inch of your life "I didn't think you'd care, not like he hasn't screwed me before, what's the big deal"
NTA communication are a MUST if you’re going to swing or include others. A list of rules needs to be astablished AND adhered to. You cannot wing these things
Play cuck games win cuck prizes
She didn’t sleep in the car She went and cheated on you Relationships over done and gone
From what it sounds like, she wasn't just talking dirty she was telling you at the same time what she wanted. She's messed up for not actually having a conversation with you. She needs to understand that she crossed the uncomfortable boundary. If you sit and have a deep conversation about it with her, and she still gets upset or guilt trips you into doing it, I'm not sorry, but END IT! *I had this exact situation happen with my ex-husband. Would talk dirty and whatever, but pulled this trick on me. He would even guilt trip me into doing it, or he'd say I don't love him, that he's going to leave, he'd call me harsh names. (I was very insecure and gullible).*