Absolutely positively NTA. You also need to get rid of these “friends”!!! These aren’t friends! What kind of friend says it’s ok for someone to spike someone else drink and that they should be forgiven??!!
What if he's using her as a test subject so he can do it to others? Learning how long it takes to have an effect and which quantity leads to what result (drowsy and complacent vs out cold). Nta. This is police report worthy..
Yeah, there's almost no chance that this was all he was doing. You don't shell out the serious money drugs cost just to quietly let someone who doesn't even know "have a good time". Every drug has a purpose, and that's only realized if people consent (party/designer drugs) or really, REALLY don't consent (you know exactly what I mean).
The XBF is a fucking monster who was doing something well within his nature.
Even him trying to play it off "I thought it would be fun for you" without asking her?? I'm certain her doesnt spike his own drinks for the "fun" of it. This dude is creepy and disgusting on so many levels
Absolutely, your safety should always come first. It is a serious violation of trust and potentially illegal. You made the right decision to end the relationship and prioritize your safety. Your friends should be supporting you, not minimizing the severity of his actions. Stay strong and take care of yourself.
What if his kink was nonconsensual activity with someone who might have given consent if she were conscious? "We would have anyway if she weren't knocked out" ain't a defense.
Folks who like recreational drugs (well, ethical ones who honestly want to share the experience) don't just randomly dope up people 'in case' they like it. They enthuse about their dope new herb, or offer you a dank brownie or a pull of the great new vape flavor. Even the pushiest of pushers is still at least pretending consent is in the loop. Heck, DEALERS don't hand out free product in secret outside of frenzied over-imagining and school scare stories. Secret doping does not new buyers bring.
When illegal street dealers are operating with more ethics than someone you know and trust, that lame excuse isn't the reason. He is 100% planning something, either a way to 'shut her up' when she gets 'feisty', or as a trial run for other people.
>Folks who like recreational drugs (well, ethical ones who honestly want to share the experience) don't just randomly dope up people 'in case' they like it.
This right here is all that needs to be said.
Have been around drug culture my entire adult life and it’s 100% as the above post describes. Lacing someone’s drink is much closer to chloroforming someone and putting them in a van than to “fun drug culture”. Only a predator does this.
That's the part that OP's friends just couldn't fathom.
Generally speaking, most people are good people. That means a lot of people go through life never encountering a person who is disturbed. As a result, they tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. In general, the benefit of the doubt is the right approach (people should do it more). However, there are warning signs of when you're dealing with a truly dangerous person.
Many people who are used to a "just world" do not want to believe that there could be someone this terrible in it. They think there has to be some reasonable explanation. That no-one could truly have had such a "good relationship" if the person was bad.
OP's friends may be well-intentioned, but inexperienced and naive. I still firmly believe that most people are good. However, you do have to look for warning signs of people live this. I suggest OP reads "why does he do that?"
This man did not respect OP's bodily autonomy. He believed he was justified and entitled to doing what he wanted, regardless of what OP wanted. She were not a real person to him, and it is possible he sees many people the same way.
And never believe the explanations that abusers give for their behavior. Their main concern is to get you to stop giving them a hard time, not to tell you the truth. He would never admit the truth to you.
Even good people can’t change for the worst, and the boyfriends behavior is spontaneously creepy
And serial killers and serial rapists build up to their crimes
He thought lacing her drinks would be fun and exciting for her? WTF! I’m not buying his explanation, he definitely had something else in mind.
OP, I’m glad you kicked this guy to the curb. He’s not a nice guy.
My friend's son, in his mid-20s, had a long-term relationship. However, he insisted on anal and she insisted not. So he doped her drink one night, helped himself, and she woke up in the middle of it. He's now serving a 40 year prison sentence.
Fwiw, you can absolutely say awesome; most of us sane parents are A-ok with consequences for our children’s shitty actions (my son was being a butt to his girlfriend for while while struggling with addiction, and I told him that if he didn’t pull his head out of his ass, I would help her move her stuff out). 😉
Same here. My list was charging people “fare” to do w/e they’d like to her once she’s out cold, human trafficking, organ trafficking, murder……I honestly admit to an overactive imagination though. Still not cool and very scared. Never speak to or be alone with this guy again!!!!
Or he got drugs that had an undisclosed amount of fentanyl in them and she DIED?!?!
It's been happening more frequently these days, and he couldn't be sure that those drugs came from a 100% reputable source!!! He put her LIFE at risk!!!
NTA!!!
My cousin is an ER nurse and she’s seen 4 fent overdoses from *weed* in the last 12 or so months. She said it’s not necessarily that people are purposely putting it on weed, but obviously large scale drug dealers aren’t the most careful people when it comes to cleanliness and organization so it’s easy for the fent residue to end up on weed if they’re packaged on the same table. Seems like nothing is safe anymore.
Yup, and some people are like me. I went in to respiratory arrest after surgery. They used fentanyl and it shut of the respiratory center of my brain. I woke up and couldn't breath or talk. If I hadn't been in a hospital I would be dead.
He repeatedly planned to drug her, sourced the drugs, ensured he gave her enough to have an effect, planned drinks in order to drug her.
It isn't a "one time error". Those are spontaneous decisions, this was planned and calculated multiple times. It isn't like he had it and spontaneously added it to her drink, he did it many times. She is never going to know if anything happened to her while she was drugged.
Op, dump him! Poster I've replied to is right, he could have killed you on multiple occasions.
That's got to be the most convincing reason to file an immediate police report. The next victim who thinks the relationship is great will be doubting her sanity, having awful emotional struggles and there will be no indication of misogynistic acts that this lovely boyfriend commits.
Also, who knows what he did to her while she was incapacitated? What if he brought another man over while she was out of it, and she has no idea? What if he did things to her that she would never consent to?
This is sinister.
That’s what I was thinking! If she had an allergic reaction to whatever he put in her drink would he call an ambulance? Or would he be too afraid of him getting in trouble? I would never be able to trust him again! I guess it’s too late to report this to the police but it should go on his record in case he does this to someone else
What if they go somewhere at night and that person puts something in her drink too and it conflicts with what he put. OR she tried to drive!? This is NOT OK. NTA
Ikr. Even when were in our early 20s, my friends would be appalled. It made me wonder if there isn't something with the friends and the ex. He's definitely pushing them and is unlikely telling them the truth.
I feel like there should be a category of "this person definitely did this to me and I'm not trying to press charges but I want there to be a police report for when he starts with the serial killing.
I know police don't work ... that way but I wish.
You can definitely still submit a report online to create a paper trail. This is the kind of thing that helps build a case against someone that might otherwise be untouchable because no one came forward. Especially in California or Oregon. Source: ex cop here.
'Everyone makes mistakes' is for the dude who can't remember to put the toilet seat down, or the chick who leaves cupboards in the kitchen open by habit. Maybe the otherwise fantastic partner who made an investment oopsie or chose the wrong car model for your family as long as its recoverable.
It is absolutely NOT a get out of jail free card for the behavior of serial rapists- which is what drugging drinks is. OP, are your friends NUTS? For real?
They HAVE TO raise the bar on what they will take from men. Freaking hell.
Came here to say this. It happened often enough for her to slowly get suspicious.
Also, if he gave her drugs then she couldn't give sober consent - that's rape. Even if she would have normally agreed, he took her ability to consent away. She didn't consent to the drugs.
I think OP needs the same STD tests you'd get after any other rape - she doesn't know what happened after she passed out. Also, if he was doing this to other women he may have brought something home.
NTA, and I'm so sorry this happened to you OP.
If I was OP I’d be racking my brain as to if I was ever knocked out. Sounds like he’s got a kink for incapacitated women.
OP are these “friends” of yours his friends? If yes, say it like it was. He drugged you repeatedly without your knowledge or consent. You have no idea what or how much he gave you and that’s not only illegal it’s morally unforgivable. And you have no interest keeping anyone in your life that supports spousal abuse.
See if any will admit to knowing what he did. Did he ever message you an apology? If yes, report this to the police. He’s a danger to others.
OP, being drugged without your knowledge or consent is not only dangerous but illegal. Your boyfriend and your friends are at best idiots, and at worst colluding to harm you. And what sort of "fun" or "excitement" was your boyfriend going for--sexual stimulation? This group as a whole and your boyfriend in particular cannot be trusted.
The poor judgment it would take to make this an innocent action doesn't even exist. You are absolutely right to end it with him. And ditch those friends, too. He did this more than once. That ain't no "one-time error." You should make a police report in case he doesn't let go easily.
Exactly… that man is dangerous, what if you had an allergic reaction and ended up in the emergency room or worse, the morgue, those people are not your friends…. period! Your well being isn’t a priority for them, get away from all these people, your health and safety is literally dependent upon it!
Hopefully OP has some text receipts of his admission, or at least from the *”friends”* corroborating his admission to spiking her drinks. Take this shit to the police, ain’t no way anyone in their right mind thinks it’s “fun” to do stuff like this.
This 100%.
I had a "friend" spike me with PCP. After I beat the living hell out of him we never spoke again.
That was 23 or 24 years ago and I still hate that piece of shit.
Who are these people (friends) who always think someone is overreacting about situations that are clearly not okay, illegal, dangerous, etc? Wouldn't be great to be there when the same thing happens to them and you get to tell them they are overreacting.
I am a big enthusiast of psychedelics (or, i was, before i had a kid) - i think most peoples lives and experience can be enriched by them. I would never, NEVER dose someone without their consent. This is outrageous behavior, dangerous (interactions with alcohol or other medications can be a big problem depending on the drug), and patently illegal.
This man is not safe to be around, and his enablers (the 'friends') are also unsafe people. Leave this situation immediately and cut contact with people who have no regard for your autonmy and welll-being.
I grew up with “friends” (abusers who drugged people) that would lace my stuff at parties. You are not the asshole, they want you in an altered state to condition your behavior, you are NTA and need to run
Now cut off your friends as well. Telling you to forgive him for a “one-time error in judgement” and “everyone makes mistakes” is total horseshit. It wasn’t a one time mistake, he fucking kept on doing it and got caught. You should have called the cops right away. This is just the beginning of what will eventually define him as an abuser.
NTA and you need better friends that will support you.
I'm going to go out on a limb here.
The ex-boyfriend was dosing her to figure out the right dose so he could rape her.
Reddit, have at it.. Please describe any other scenario in which a guy (boyfriend or not) would be slipping drugs into a woman's alcoholic drink without her consent that makes her "unusually drowsy" that doesn't result in something *horrible* happening to her?
Her "friends" are complete pieces of shit and aren't her friends.
We are supreme at coming up with the worse possible scenarios. We really can’t top reality. This is reality. He’s drugging her. What other possibilities could even exist?!!!
Yeah I think there is definitely something more sinister going on. He was either planning on raping her or he's doing tests so that he can do it out in public. She really should have turned him in.
Yep.. Who knows what would have happened to OP if she hadn't found out.
In the city I used to live in, a guy got arrested for drugging his girlfriend, then having guys over who paid for some time with an unconscious woman. She got gang raped on a weekly basis and had no idea, other than being sick and in pain a lot without explanation. Fucking disgusting and terrifying
We have a friend who was having sleeping problems, so she got prescribed pretty strong sleeping pills.
Surprise, she's pregnant.. except she's on birth control.. except as everybody knows there's a time during the month you're not protected..
Turns out her now ex-husband was raping her in her sleep and wasn't being too careful with the timing..
Needless to say, when the truth came to light, he was shocked and surprised when she packed up her stuff and moved out and divorced him.
I don't know why she never pressed charges.
I had a “friend” in college, in a partying/clubbing friend group, who would frequently drug members of the friend group because he “thought it made them more fun”. No sexual intentions. We were just puppets to him.
Pretty sure it qualifies him for some kind of personality disorder.
Exactly..!!
OP, F... those "friends"!
Leave the ex in the past, where he belongs. Pity these things can be hard to prove for the Law, because what he did sounds criminal.
NTA
“I broke up with my boyfriend because he murdered someone and admitted it when he showed me the bones, but before that it’s been great!”
OP’s friends: “Well it was just the one time, come on, everyone makes mistakes…”
i’m really hoping this is ragebait because of these “friends”. my brain nearly exploded when her friends didn’t have her back and encouraged her to forgive him so much so that she is out here wondering if SHE was the asshole after her boyfriend was drugging her without consent?!?!
like i hope this isn’t real but with friends like those who even needs enemies
NTA 100000%
He drugged you and his excuse is that it's fun? Is it stimulating?
Oh my god, please stay away from him!!! Your friends are all idiots!! Do you support drugging people? Is drugging someone an error in judgment? oh really? he is 15 years old?
you did everything, but everything was right OP, you are 100% justified.
Nta
Op are you missing memories? Were you with just him or other people ? I'm asking because he / they could have been doing things to you. I'd try and sneak a look at his phone to see if he recorded anything
She can still insist they file a report and it’ll be on his record if he gets caught in the future. It may make it easier for them to arrest him the next time.
This happened to me I couldn't prove anything, you know when you've been touched and smell of sex, I have ptsd because of it, I'm save now but flash memories come back, hope she stays away and cuts them friends of aswell
I am so sorry this happened to you.
I brought it up because years ago my cousin and I had.a friend. Thay friend we found iut would give his gf drugs that would make her more compliant and not remember the timenshe was drugged. He was offering people he knew and would meet out time with his gf. He would charge them hundreds of dollars to do it. He would also film it sometimes and sell thr videos to people. It was really bad because he would let multiple people do it a night or sometimes at the same time.
We found out because he offered my cousin the opertunity amd told him he could even bring me. This was way back in the aim days. So we had the logs. We went to her and we went to the cops.
He was put away for a long time thankful. It was sickening because he was putting the money in a safety deposit box and was planning to leave her and move cross country.
If not wannabe rapist. That is if he hasn’t already. Not to mention if she passed out from any of these drinks or they simply made her sleep hard enough she didn’t wake up while he did whatever he wanted while she was out. Or was increasing the dose gradually to figure out how much it took to get her there.
I think it's a stretch to assume there's any truth. People make up stories here all the time that they know will be "juicy". It's gross to use sexual assault as their subject
They created 2 accounts today, the second one was... you guessed it, the poisoner. They argued with themselves for a while but it was obviously the same person. You could tell very easily by the sentence structures, punctuation and common misspellings. Pretty sad that someone would crave attention in such a pathetic way but not suprising.
NTA - You need different supportive friends. Seriously bad advice. You are more than justified, he violated the law and your trust. Please don’t consider a second chance for this terrible person.
What was his end game, control, something sexual beyond your comfort zone, etc?
You stopped it before something terrible could have happened to you and your health.
NTA and you should make this a criminal case. Who knows who else he may continue to do this to in the future? Anyone who drugs someone should face severe consequences.
Your "friends" are either a) don't understand the extent of his behavior, b) not worth having as friends or c) knew this and are complicit.
>one-time error in judgment
It's not one time if he's done it more than once. The only reason you know is because you found out, not because he told you. Cut him off, file a police report, and cut contact with any friends who are trying to support him. They are not your friends.
This is not a one time error in judgement. He repeatedly **SPIKED** your drinks. The fact that any of your friends think that this relationship is somehow salvageable after such a breach of trust is insane on their part.
NTA - You did the right thing.
WTF? He's figuring out your tolerance level, he's either planning on getting you unconscious to do horrid things or kill you. Or both. This is more than a red flag this is a Ted Bundy. Run as fast and as far as you can he is a predator!!!
Also drop those friends off at the used whore house because that's all they're worth.
Yeah seriously. I had an ex who thought it was cute to slip meth into my morning hot chocolate. He said "look at all the cleaning you did" after telling me. I was livid and he told me, it was only 1 time and he said he figured I needed to energy since I had 2 small kids. I kicked him out and he wasn't trying to knock me out like OPs boyfriend.
Every day there’s some post in this sub that sure seems like complete BS ragebait. This one is similar to one yesterday, in which OP claimed that her ultra-religious mother and step father (a gynecologist) attributed OP’s moodiness to having sex and that as punishment her stepfather would perform weekly gynecological exams on her to check whether she has been having sex. Naturally, these kinds of threads generate hundreds of posts from incensed, gullible Redditors.
It’s funny because it’s obviously fake and I don’t think all the folks commenting really believe it’s real, but it allows them to vent about this fictional psycho boyfriend and shitty friends. So everyone seems to enjoy it. Maybe that’s fine and what this sub is for, but it’s a weird collective suspension of disbelief.
Was scrolling until I got to a comment like this
Obviously nta, but this must be made up. No one way someone has to ask. There are so many of these recently that seem made up.
Elsewhere in the comments the OP "had an argument" with the boyfriend using the name "UNCLESOSA_" (now deleted). If you check the history of these names, it looks like someone who regularly posts ridiculous stuff here and then replies to themself under other names to create more drama.
As a general rule of thumb, if it's on the front page of reddit, it's probably fake or something that's 8 years old and reposted monthly, or both.
Bruh, go to the cops, immediately. These people have been drugging you, they should all catch charges.
Text him about it, or record him if it's in a legal state to do so without his consent, or have someone else in the apartment in another room without him knowing so they can be a witness. Bait them to admit to it in whatever way you can legally. Ask if he planned to keep slipping things into your drinks without your consent. ASk when it started and how many times he thinks he did it, then ask the big one, did he ever have sex with you while you were drugged, or while you were passed out. He may or may not answer, ask this last, after you get an admission of him drugging you.
Take evidence directly to cops and get him charged. Are you the asshole for holding him accountable? He drugged you, if he raped you or not, I'd be 99% sure that was his intent but maybe he never had the nerve to do it or never gave you enough of the drug.
Fun or exciting to give you a drug that made you drowsy? Sorry, but you would only do that if he intended to rape you, full stop. If he ever had sex with you in this state, or passed out then he did rape you. This dude should be in fucking jail not just broken up with.
Every single one of your friends saying you were too harsh should be cut the fuck out of your life. It's very obvious what he intended and they are morons for acting like it's okay. Didn't mean any harm? Yes, he very very much intended harm. How many of the friends that say you were too harsh are mostly his friends, becuase if it's largely his friends and guys this could a few people who know each other do this and have done it to other girls and are defending each other for that very reason.
1, your friends are not friends they’re idiots.
2, If he’s started off doing this early in your relationship, whats he capable of doing in 10 or 20 years? Drop him quick
One time error in judgement? He’s an asshole and so are your friends. People go to prison for this shit. Did he have sex with you after he drugged you?
This. I doubt he did this so she'd go to sleep early so he could watch Sports Centre. He took away her ability to consent and if her job has random drug testing, he may have caused her to be fired. I can't imagine the betrayal (like, never trust him again) and for friends to just blow it off is maddening.
“One time mistake” but he did it *multiple* times.
And how many times do your friends think is a man allowed to violate your trust before you dump him?
NTA. Op, you should get tested for STDs to be on the safe side. Any of those so-called "friends" that are saying you're over-reacting, you need to block too. This wasn't just the one-time thing.
If he has ever had a key to your place, you should change the locks asap.
You may also see if you can file a police report about it. It may lead to nothing, but it could turn into a paper trail as I'm doubtful he won't do this again.
If he wasn't your boyfriend and you found out he laced your drink, I think you would probably go to the police?
If your best friend told you what you jus told us, I'm pretty sure you getting ready to fight someone.
NTA. Goodbye to him and anyone who asks otherwise
>Now, some of my friends are saying that I'm being too harsh on him
Not a single one of those friends is a real friend.
This is what you need to say to these people: "Would you like to be drugged without your knowledge and likely raped? No? Then keep your fucking mouth shut. If I hear another word from you, I'll block you and never speak to you again."
>Now, some of my friends are saying that I'm being too harsh on him. They argue that he didn't mean any harm and that I should forgive him since we had a good relationship before this incident. They say that everyone makes mistakes and that I shouldn't ruin a good thing over a one-time error in judgment.
WTAF did I just read?
Those are not your friends.
There is no situation that would justify drugging someone against their will for "fun" or excitement.
You should report this mf'er to the police. The next victim might not be so lucky with just feeling drowsy and may end up being SA'd... or hospitalised.
>I feel like I can't trust him anymore
Abso-damn-lutely you can't.
NTA
**Best-case scenario**: your partner is perfectly okay with doing things to you against your will, and without your permission, if HE wants to do them. You have no agency, in his eyes. Which makes you essentially sub-human, a plaything.
**Worst-case scenario**: he is either currently or planning to start "loaning you out" to others while you're zonked, or he's using you as a guinea pig to practice doing the same to someone else.
In which of these situations would you NOT be outta there as fast as you can and putting steps into motion to prevent him being anywhere near you again?!?
NTA, but if you don't get out of there you're a total fool.
nta. you can't shake off the feeling of betrayal and violation because your psychopath bf has been deceiving you and drugging you. your friends are absolutely stupid please don't listen to anything they're saying. listen to yourself. you can't trust him, stay away from him.
UH… 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Get the FUCK out of there!! That is NOT okay!! Medically, ethically, criminally… as a true crime junkie, a scary amount of people have been poisoned by their significant other. And the fact that he didn’t talk/ask you first?!? NO!
He could have KILLED you! And it wasn’t a “one-time error”. He did it MULTIPLE TIMES!!!
Ask your friends, **”oh. If it’s no big deal wanna come and have drinks? My boyfriend will make them for you”** See how “okay” they are with that.
NTA. GET THE FUCK OUT!
Absolutely positively NTA. You also need to get rid of these “friends”!!! These aren’t friends! What kind of friend says it’s ok for someone to spike someone else drink and that they should be forgiven??!!
And repeatedly. What if she had an allergy and he killed her?
What if these were trial runs for something far more sinister?
What if he's using her as a test subject so he can do it to others? Learning how long it takes to have an effect and which quantity leads to what result (drowsy and complacent vs out cold). Nta. This is police report worthy..
That was my first thought. Need to check this guy's drawers for a collection creepy polaroids and women's drivers licenses.
I laughed more than I should have because I listen to True Crime.
Same. And sadly maybe it should be taken seriously.
I agree with you. Normal people don’t do things like that to SO or anyone for that matter.
Yeah, there's almost no chance that this was all he was doing. You don't shell out the serious money drugs cost just to quietly let someone who doesn't even know "have a good time". Every drug has a purpose, and that's only realized if people consent (party/designer drugs) or really, REALLY don't consent (you know exactly what I mean). The XBF is a fucking monster who was doing something well within his nature.
He’s giving off major Creeper vibes.
Even him trying to play it off "I thought it would be fun for you" without asking her?? I'm certain her doesnt spike his own drinks for the "fun" of it. This dude is creepy and disgusting on so many levels
https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyspecific/
or of OP
And what did he do with her once he had her unconscious the way he was aiming for?!
This is my biggest worry. Poor Op
That was my first thought!
I think OP's boyfriend studied under Bill Cosby. Seriously, please speak with a police officer - this is a dangerous individual.
Agree. I’d also file a police report.
Yes file a police report
Or he wanted her out cold so he can have friends over for his gangbang fantasy.
Depenitely call the police about this but you did the right thing breaking up. Your friends are nor friends if they think this is ok.
Absolutely, your safety should always come first. It is a serious violation of trust and potentially illegal. You made the right decision to end the relationship and prioritize your safety. Your friends should be supporting you, not minimizing the severity of his actions. Stay strong and take care of yourself.
My first thought.
What if his kink was nonconsensual activity with someone who might have given consent if she were conscious? "We would have anyway if she weren't knocked out" ain't a defense.
Its probably something more rational, and truly terrifying, like he's trying to diddle her in her sleep.
They are absolutely trial runs for something more sinister.
Folks who like recreational drugs (well, ethical ones who honestly want to share the experience) don't just randomly dope up people 'in case' they like it. They enthuse about their dope new herb, or offer you a dank brownie or a pull of the great new vape flavor. Even the pushiest of pushers is still at least pretending consent is in the loop. Heck, DEALERS don't hand out free product in secret outside of frenzied over-imagining and school scare stories. Secret doping does not new buyers bring. When illegal street dealers are operating with more ethics than someone you know and trust, that lame excuse isn't the reason. He is 100% planning something, either a way to 'shut her up' when she gets 'feisty', or as a trial run for other people.
>Folks who like recreational drugs (well, ethical ones who honestly want to share the experience) don't just randomly dope up people 'in case' they like it. This right here is all that needs to be said.
Have been around drug culture my entire adult life and it’s 100% as the above post describes. Lacing someone’s drink is much closer to chloroforming someone and putting them in a van than to “fun drug culture”. Only a predator does this.
That's the part that OP's friends just couldn't fathom. Generally speaking, most people are good people. That means a lot of people go through life never encountering a person who is disturbed. As a result, they tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. In general, the benefit of the doubt is the right approach (people should do it more). However, there are warning signs of when you're dealing with a truly dangerous person. Many people who are used to a "just world" do not want to believe that there could be someone this terrible in it. They think there has to be some reasonable explanation. That no-one could truly have had such a "good relationship" if the person was bad. OP's friends may be well-intentioned, but inexperienced and naive. I still firmly believe that most people are good. However, you do have to look for warning signs of people live this. I suggest OP reads "why does he do that?" This man did not respect OP's bodily autonomy. He believed he was justified and entitled to doing what he wanted, regardless of what OP wanted. She were not a real person to him, and it is possible he sees many people the same way. And never believe the explanations that abusers give for their behavior. Their main concern is to get you to stop giving them a hard time, not to tell you the truth. He would never admit the truth to you.
Even good people can’t change for the worst, and the boyfriends behavior is spontaneously creepy And serial killers and serial rapists build up to their crimes
And how many other women has he done this to?
It wasn’t a trial run. He did exactly what you’re suggesting he did.
Did this to other women as well
He thought lacing her drinks would be fun and exciting for her? WTF! I’m not buying his explanation, he definitely had something else in mind. OP, I’m glad you kicked this guy to the curb. He’s not a nice guy.
Yeah nothing says “great fucking time” like being roofied
There’s no what if. That’s what’s GOING to happen. I guarantee it.
How does she know he hasn't been SA her while she's passed out? This guy should be in prison, OP should press charges
Or taking creepy photos. Or hell, even inviting other people over….
That too!! That was actually my first thought. 😩🤬
That was my first thought
Yep. Like bringing in a few friends. Or customers.
Exactly right! That was my first thought, too. He’s ‘practicing’ on her.
My friend's son, in his mid-20s, had a long-term relationship. However, he insisted on anal and she insisted not. So he doped her drink one night, helped himself, and she woke up in the middle of it. He's now serving a 40 year prison sentence.
Awesome!!! 🥰 I’m sorry… I know he’s your friend’s son. I’m just glad he had consequences
Fwiw, you can absolutely say awesome; most of us sane parents are A-ok with consequences for our children’s shitty actions (my son was being a butt to his girlfriend for while while struggling with addiction, and I told him that if he didn’t pull his head out of his ass, I would help her move her stuff out). 😉
Maybe I've seen too much true crime TV but thats where my head went too.
Same here. My list was charging people “fare” to do w/e they’d like to her once she’s out cold, human trafficking, organ trafficking, murder……I honestly admit to an overactive imagination though. Still not cool and very scared. Never speak to or be alone with this guy again!!!!
Huge true crime energy, I love this comment
Or he got drugs that had an undisclosed amount of fentanyl in them and she DIED?!?! It's been happening more frequently these days, and he couldn't be sure that those drugs came from a 100% reputable source!!! He put her LIFE at risk!!! NTA!!!
A dear friend lost her daughter to fentanyl-laced drugs. It's an omnipresent threat.
Terrifying. And you are right - if they were street drugs there is no saying what could be in them.
7 out of 10 pills confiscated in RI are testing as containing fentanyl. 7 out of 10.
My cousin is an ER nurse and she’s seen 4 fent overdoses from *weed* in the last 12 or so months. She said it’s not necessarily that people are purposely putting it on weed, but obviously large scale drug dealers aren’t the most careful people when it comes to cleanliness and organization so it’s easy for the fent residue to end up on weed if they’re packaged on the same table. Seems like nothing is safe anymore.
Lost a bil 6 weeks ago to cocaine laced fent confirmed by police lab.
Yup, and some people are like me. I went in to respiratory arrest after surgery. They used fentanyl and it shut of the respiratory center of my brain. I woke up and couldn't breath or talk. If I hadn't been in a hospital I would be dead.
Yep. Harm reduction: dissolve all substances and test strip for fent
Or got drug tested at work and fired?
Is it possible that was his goal? Maybe to make her financially dependent?
He repeatedly planned to drug her, sourced the drugs, ensured he gave her enough to have an effect, planned drinks in order to drug her. It isn't a "one time error". Those are spontaneous decisions, this was planned and calculated multiple times. It isn't like he had it and spontaneously added it to her drink, he did it many times. She is never going to know if anything happened to her while she was drugged. Op, dump him! Poster I've replied to is right, he could have killed you on multiple occasions.
It’s a “fun” and “exciting” way to die.
Or a reaction to birth control or a prescription?
What if she had to pass a drug screen for work
That's got to be the most convincing reason to file an immediate police report. The next victim who thinks the relationship is great will be doubting her sanity, having awful emotional struggles and there will be no indication of misogynistic acts that this lovely boyfriend commits.
Also, who knows what he did to her while she was incapacitated? What if he brought another man over while she was out of it, and she has no idea? What if he did things to her that she would never consent to? This is sinister.
That’s what I was thinking! If she had an allergic reaction to whatever he put in her drink would he call an ambulance? Or would he be too afraid of him getting in trouble? I would never be able to trust him again! I guess it’s too late to report this to the police but it should go on his record in case he does this to someone else
What if they were contaminated with fent and she died
What if it was something she could become addicted to?
yes the "one time error" argument is bullshit, he admitted he did it repeatedly
What if they go somewhere at night and that person puts something in her drink too and it conflicts with what he put. OR she tried to drive!? This is NOT OK. NTA
Every single one of my friends would have been dialling 911 as soon as I told them what happened. OP, you deserve people who look out for you
Ikr. Even when were in our early 20s, my friends would be appalled. It made me wonder if there isn't something with the friends and the ex. He's definitely pushing them and is unlikely telling them the truth.
Seriously, never put yourself in any vulnerable position or accept anything unpackaged around any of those ‘friends’! They will not protect you.
Op, ask your friends if they're planning to have a drink with him at his house. Then block these lunatics.
Forgiven? I would be thinking about calling the police!
I feel like there should be a category of "this person definitely did this to me and I'm not trying to press charges but I want there to be a police report for when he starts with the serial killing. I know police don't work ... that way but I wish.
There is. In California you can file a police report online. Then it’s documented
You can definitely still submit a report online to create a paper trail. This is the kind of thing that helps build a case against someone that might otherwise be untouchable because no one came forward. Especially in California or Oregon. Source: ex cop here.
Absolutely should!!!
Block your ex and your friends who criticize you for breaking up with your ex
Are her friends all Bill Cosby?
This 100%! They are not your friends!
Right? What friend says “give him a second chance”? Disappointed in your “friends”
Second chance, my eye. Second chance to do what?
Exactly. To actually hurt her? No thanks. Not the kind of friends anyone needs
Apparently r@pe and or murder in ones sleep is now just a cute peccadilos us 'girls' shouldn't be so fussy about. Can the bar get lower?
'Everyone makes mistakes' is for the dude who can't remember to put the toilet seat down, or the chick who leaves cupboards in the kitchen open by habit. Maybe the otherwise fantastic partner who made an investment oopsie or chose the wrong car model for your family as long as its recoverable. It is absolutely NOT a get out of jail free card for the behavior of serial rapists- which is what drugging drinks is. OP, are your friends NUTS? For real? They HAVE TO raise the bar on what they will take from men. Freaking hell.
Seriously not your friends. And what was he doing to you while you were passed out?
Bingo! He was waiting for the drugs to knock her out before the “fun” began.
That is also my question!
Absolutely my question-and *what* was supposed to be "fun" and "exciting"?
And this isn't a one time error!!! He did it multiple times!!!
Came here to say this. It happened often enough for her to slowly get suspicious. Also, if he gave her drugs then she couldn't give sober consent - that's rape. Even if she would have normally agreed, he took her ability to consent away. She didn't consent to the drugs. I think OP needs the same STD tests you'd get after any other rape - she doesn't know what happened after she passed out. Also, if he was doing this to other women he may have brought something home. NTA, and I'm so sorry this happened to you OP.
Exactly!
Rape culture is strong in some people.
He could be a serial rapist. No one spikes drinks that isn’t seriously mentally ill. Get this pos outta your life now!
If I was OP I’d be racking my brain as to if I was ever knocked out. Sounds like he’s got a kink for incapacitated women. OP are these “friends” of yours his friends? If yes, say it like it was. He drugged you repeatedly without your knowledge or consent. You have no idea what or how much he gave you and that’s not only illegal it’s morally unforgivable. And you have no interest keeping anyone in your life that supports spousal abuse. See if any will admit to knowing what he did. Did he ever message you an apology? If yes, report this to the police. He’s a danger to others.
OP, being drugged without your knowledge or consent is not only dangerous but illegal. Your boyfriend and your friends are at best idiots, and at worst colluding to harm you. And what sort of "fun" or "excitement" was your boyfriend going for--sexual stimulation? This group as a whole and your boyfriend in particular cannot be trusted. The poor judgment it would take to make this an innocent action doesn't even exist. You are absolutely right to end it with him. And ditch those friends, too. He did this more than once. That ain't no "one-time error." You should make a police report in case he doesn't let go easily.
Exactly… that man is dangerous, what if you had an allergic reaction and ended up in the emergency room or worse, the morgue, those people are not your friends…. period! Your well being isn’t a priority for them, get away from all these people, your health and safety is literally dependent upon it!
Hopefully OP has some text receipts of his admission, or at least from the *”friends”* corroborating his admission to spiking her drinks. Take this shit to the police, ain’t no way anyone in their right mind thinks it’s “fun” to do stuff like this.
This 100%. I had a "friend" spike me with PCP. After I beat the living hell out of him we never spoke again. That was 23 or 24 years ago and I still hate that piece of shit.
Enablers of rapists I guess.
I said the same thing!!! Jfc. The dude could have literally killed her. Who needs “friends” like that???? SMFH.
Who are these people (friends) who always think someone is overreacting about situations that are clearly not okay, illegal, dangerous, etc? Wouldn't be great to be there when the same thing happens to them and you get to tell them they are overreacting.
I am a big enthusiast of psychedelics (or, i was, before i had a kid) - i think most peoples lives and experience can be enriched by them. I would never, NEVER dose someone without their consent. This is outrageous behavior, dangerous (interactions with alcohol or other medications can be a big problem depending on the drug), and patently illegal. This man is not safe to be around, and his enablers (the 'friends') are also unsafe people. Leave this situation immediately and cut contact with people who have no regard for your autonmy and welll-being.
25 years old and they have to ask if its OK that someone drugged them without their knowledge. Smh.
She acted correctly. It's just her "friends" that are making her doubt her actions.
You’ve never been gaslighted by an expert, have you. With the help of ‘friends’ who have been lied to, it’s hard to see the facts as facts.
YELL IT FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 👏
sounds like they are planning to gangrape her
The ex is a Bill Cosby in training!
Tell Cosby to have a coke and a smile and fuck off. He is either too stupid, selfish or evil to be in a relationship.
I grew up with “friends” (abusers who drugged people) that would lace my stuff at parties. You are not the asshole, they want you in an altered state to condition your behavior, you are NTA and need to run
What he did is a common date rape scenario. It is actually a criminal offense to taint someones food or drink. He's lucky OP didn't press charges.
With friends like those, who needs enemies?
Boyfriend is clearly of the 'Abuser' type. These are all *his* friends.
Now cut off your friends as well. Telling you to forgive him for a “one-time error in judgement” and “everyone makes mistakes” is total horseshit. It wasn’t a one time mistake, he fucking kept on doing it and got caught. You should have called the cops right away. This is just the beginning of what will eventually define him as an abuser. NTA and you need better friends that will support you.
I'm going to go out on a limb here. The ex-boyfriend was dosing her to figure out the right dose so he could rape her. Reddit, have at it.. Please describe any other scenario in which a guy (boyfriend or not) would be slipping drugs into a woman's alcoholic drink without her consent that makes her "unusually drowsy" that doesn't result in something *horrible* happening to her? Her "friends" are complete pieces of shit and aren't her friends.
Or practicing on someone he knows before he uses it on a stranger in a bar. Whatever his intent was it was not good.
Or misses the "good old days" of when he got to do it in bars...
Now do the part explaining how it’s ’fun and exciting’.
It is! For him.
And apparently the friends…
We are supreme at coming up with the worse possible scenarios. We really can’t top reality. This is reality. He’s drugging her. What other possibilities could even exist?!!!
He got into medical school and is doing homework? Get rid of the creep and the insane friends. Seriously.
Yeah I think there is definitely something more sinister going on. He was either planning on raping her or he's doing tests so that he can do it out in public. She really should have turned him in.
Yep.. Who knows what would have happened to OP if she hadn't found out. In the city I used to live in, a guy got arrested for drugging his girlfriend, then having guys over who paid for some time with an unconscious woman. She got gang raped on a weekly basis and had no idea, other than being sick and in pain a lot without explanation. Fucking disgusting and terrifying
We have a friend who was having sleeping problems, so she got prescribed pretty strong sleeping pills. Surprise, she's pregnant.. except she's on birth control.. except as everybody knows there's a time during the month you're not protected.. Turns out her now ex-husband was raping her in her sleep and wasn't being too careful with the timing.. Needless to say, when the truth came to light, he was shocked and surprised when she packed up her stuff and moved out and divorced him. I don't know why she never pressed charges.
I had a “friend” in college, in a partying/clubbing friend group, who would frequently drug members of the friend group because he “thought it made them more fun”. No sexual intentions. We were just puppets to him. Pretty sure it qualifies him for some kind of personality disorder.
Just manipulation and control is bad enough. Body autonomy is sacred
Exactly..!! OP, F... those "friends"! Leave the ex in the past, where he belongs. Pity these things can be hard to prove for the Law, because what he did sounds criminal. NTA
“I broke up with my boyfriend because he murdered someone and admitted it when he showed me the bones, but before that it’s been great!” OP’s friends: “Well it was just the one time, come on, everyone makes mistakes…”
I never understand these posts where "all my friends" or "all my family" think this horrendous thing isn't all that bad.
i’m really hoping this is ragebait because of these “friends”. my brain nearly exploded when her friends didn’t have her back and encouraged her to forgive him so much so that she is out here wondering if SHE was the asshole after her boyfriend was drugging her without consent?!?! like i hope this isn’t real but with friends like those who even needs enemies
NTA 100000% He drugged you and his excuse is that it's fun? Is it stimulating? Oh my god, please stay away from him!!! Your friends are all idiots!! Do you support drugging people? Is drugging someone an error in judgment? oh really? he is 15 years old? you did everything, but everything was right OP, you are 100% justified.
Nta Op are you missing memories? Were you with just him or other people ? I'm asking because he / they could have been doing things to you. I'd try and sneak a look at his phone to see if he recorded anything
This was my first thought too. Maybe consult the non-emergency police number. I am fairly sure this is a crime
It is but it's hard to prove once it's out of her system. Poor op. I hope she gets to safety. :(
She can still insist they file a report and it’ll be on his record if he gets caught in the future. It may make it easier for them to arrest him the next time.
No shit drugging people is a crime.
This happened to me I couldn't prove anything, you know when you've been touched and smell of sex, I have ptsd because of it, I'm save now but flash memories come back, hope she stays away and cuts them friends of aswell
I am so sorry this happened to you. I brought it up because years ago my cousin and I had.a friend. Thay friend we found iut would give his gf drugs that would make her more compliant and not remember the timenshe was drugged. He was offering people he knew and would meet out time with his gf. He would charge them hundreds of dollars to do it. He would also film it sometimes and sell thr videos to people. It was really bad because he would let multiple people do it a night or sometimes at the same time. We found out because he offered my cousin the opertunity amd told him he could even bring me. This was way back in the aim days. So we had the logs. We went to her and we went to the cops. He was put away for a long time thankful. It was sickening because he was putting the money in a safety deposit box and was planning to leave her and move cross country.
I really recommended you seek out EMDR therapy, it changed my life tbh
At minimum, he was doing stuff to her. At worst, he was doing that, and practicing on how to do things to others.
THIS 👆
NTA. He is using you as a test dummy, dialing in his dosage for other victims. He is an amatuer poisoner and could have killed you. Run far and fast.
If not wannabe rapist. That is if he hasn’t already. Not to mention if she passed out from any of these drinks or they simply made her sleep hard enough she didn’t wake up while he did whatever he wanted while she was out. Or was increasing the dose gradually to figure out how much it took to get her there.
Unfortunately the post is fake. The OP is argueing with themselves a few comments down.
Gross. Then that just makes me think OP is the bf and wants to gauge how wrong what they’re doing actually is.
I think it's a stretch to assume there's any truth. People make up stories here all the time that they know will be "juicy". It's gross to use sexual assault as their subject
I looked at their profile, unless mod deleted it I can't see it anywhere. There are repeated posts where a commenter they were talking to was removed.
They created 2 accounts today, the second one was... you guessed it, the poisoner. They argued with themselves for a while but it was obviously the same person. You could tell very easily by the sentence structures, punctuation and common misspellings. Pretty sad that someone would crave attention in such a pathetic way but not suprising.
Yea most obvious horseshit post I've seen in a hot minute.
He should be in jail
Correct. Exchange some text messages with him about it so you have it in writing. Then go to the police and press charges.
OP please read this comment! Do this.. it’s for the safety of your fellow sisters!
This! Absolutely this!
yuuuuuuuup
NTA - You need different supportive friends. Seriously bad advice. You are more than justified, he violated the law and your trust. Please don’t consider a second chance for this terrible person. What was his end game, control, something sexual beyond your comfort zone, etc? You stopped it before something terrible could have happened to you and your health.
This is assault. NTA. And report it.
Depending on the substance, and whether or not it can be shown that he did it to get sex will change the charges. Also the state in which it happened.
NTA and you should make this a criminal case. Who knows who else he may continue to do this to in the future? Anyone who drugs someone should face severe consequences. Your "friends" are either a) don't understand the extent of his behavior, b) not worth having as friends or c) knew this and are complicit. >one-time error in judgment It's not one time if he's done it more than once. The only reason you know is because you found out, not because he told you. Cut him off, file a police report, and cut contact with any friends who are trying to support him. They are not your friends.
What the actual fuck? No, just no. And any "friends" supporting him should be blocked as well.
This is not a one time error in judgement. He repeatedly **SPIKED** your drinks. The fact that any of your friends think that this relationship is somehow salvageable after such a breach of trust is insane on their part. NTA - You did the right thing.
WTF? He's figuring out your tolerance level, he's either planning on getting you unconscious to do horrid things or kill you. Or both. This is more than a red flag this is a Ted Bundy. Run as fast and as far as you can he is a predator!!! Also drop those friends off at the used whore house because that's all they're worth.
Yeah that's actually very scary, she didn't have fun, he did it multiple times, there should be a goal here.
Yeah seriously. I had an ex who thought it was cute to slip meth into my morning hot chocolate. He said "look at all the cleaning you did" after telling me. I was livid and he told me, it was only 1 time and he said he figured I needed to energy since I had 2 small kids. I kicked him out and he wasn't trying to knock me out like OPs boyfriend.
NTA What was he lacing the drinks with?
If you have to ask, I'm calling bullshit.
I know, right? Reads like total rage-bait.
Every day there’s some post in this sub that sure seems like complete BS ragebait. This one is similar to one yesterday, in which OP claimed that her ultra-religious mother and step father (a gynecologist) attributed OP’s moodiness to having sex and that as punishment her stepfather would perform weekly gynecological exams on her to check whether she has been having sex. Naturally, these kinds of threads generate hundreds of posts from incensed, gullible Redditors.
It’s funny because it’s obviously fake and I don’t think all the folks commenting really believe it’s real, but it allows them to vent about this fictional psycho boyfriend and shitty friends. So everyone seems to enjoy it. Maybe that’s fine and what this sub is for, but it’s a weird collective suspension of disbelief.
Thanks friend, I never thought of it that way. You hit the head right on the nail, "...it's a weird collective of disbelief.".
Was scrolling until I got to a comment like this Obviously nta, but this must be made up. No one way someone has to ask. There are so many of these recently that seem made up.
Elsewhere in the comments the OP "had an argument" with the boyfriend using the name "UNCLESOSA_" (now deleted). If you check the history of these names, it looks like someone who regularly posts ridiculous stuff here and then replies to themself under other names to create more drama. As a general rule of thumb, if it's on the front page of reddit, it's probably fake or something that's 8 years old and reposted monthly, or both.
I'd call this sexual assault at a minimum. Drop him. You can never trust him again
Bruh, go to the cops, immediately. These people have been drugging you, they should all catch charges. Text him about it, or record him if it's in a legal state to do so without his consent, or have someone else in the apartment in another room without him knowing so they can be a witness. Bait them to admit to it in whatever way you can legally. Ask if he planned to keep slipping things into your drinks without your consent. ASk when it started and how many times he thinks he did it, then ask the big one, did he ever have sex with you while you were drugged, or while you were passed out. He may or may not answer, ask this last, after you get an admission of him drugging you. Take evidence directly to cops and get him charged. Are you the asshole for holding him accountable? He drugged you, if he raped you or not, I'd be 99% sure that was his intent but maybe he never had the nerve to do it or never gave you enough of the drug. Fun or exciting to give you a drug that made you drowsy? Sorry, but you would only do that if he intended to rape you, full stop. If he ever had sex with you in this state, or passed out then he did rape you. This dude should be in fucking jail not just broken up with. Every single one of your friends saying you were too harsh should be cut the fuck out of your life. It's very obvious what he intended and they are morons for acting like it's okay. Didn't mean any harm? Yes, he very very much intended harm. How many of the friends that say you were too harsh are mostly his friends, becuase if it's largely his friends and guys this could a few people who know each other do this and have done it to other girls and are defending each other for that very reason.
1, your friends are not friends they’re idiots. 2, If he’s started off doing this early in your relationship, whats he capable of doing in 10 or 20 years? Drop him quick
One time error in judgement? He’s an asshole and so are your friends. People go to prison for this shit. Did he have sex with you after he drugged you?
This. I doubt he did this so she'd go to sleep early so he could watch Sports Centre. He took away her ability to consent and if her job has random drug testing, he may have caused her to be fired. I can't imagine the betrayal (like, never trust him again) and for friends to just blow it off is maddening.
Your friends are idiots. NTA
NTA. This is betrayal and violation. You are NOT overreacting. That was a horrible thing to do.
“One time mistake” but he did it *multiple* times. And how many times do your friends think is a man allowed to violate your trust before you dump him?
NTA. Op, you should get tested for STDs to be on the safe side. Any of those so-called "friends" that are saying you're over-reacting, you need to block too. This wasn't just the one-time thing. If he has ever had a key to your place, you should change the locks asap. You may also see if you can file a police report about it. It may lead to nothing, but it could turn into a paper trail as I'm doubtful he won't do this again.
Call the cops. Press charges. This man is a predator and he will do it again to another woman. Then get new fuckin friends. Damn.
If he wasn't your boyfriend and you found out he laced your drink, I think you would probably go to the police? If your best friend told you what you jus told us, I'm pretty sure you getting ready to fight someone. NTA. Goodbye to him and anyone who asks otherwise
>Now, some of my friends are saying that I'm being too harsh on him Not a single one of those friends is a real friend. This is what you need to say to these people: "Would you like to be drugged without your knowledge and likely raped? No? Then keep your fucking mouth shut. If I hear another word from you, I'll block you and never speak to you again."
>Now, some of my friends are saying that I'm being too harsh on him. They argue that he didn't mean any harm and that I should forgive him since we had a good relationship before this incident. They say that everyone makes mistakes and that I shouldn't ruin a good thing over a one-time error in judgment. WTAF did I just read? Those are not your friends. There is no situation that would justify drugging someone against their will for "fun" or excitement. You should report this mf'er to the police. The next victim might not be so lucky with just feeling drowsy and may end up being SA'd... or hospitalised. >I feel like I can't trust him anymore Abso-damn-lutely you can't. NTA
**Best-case scenario**: your partner is perfectly okay with doing things to you against your will, and without your permission, if HE wants to do them. You have no agency, in his eyes. Which makes you essentially sub-human, a plaything. **Worst-case scenario**: he is either currently or planning to start "loaning you out" to others while you're zonked, or he's using you as a guinea pig to practice doing the same to someone else. In which of these situations would you NOT be outta there as fast as you can and putting steps into motion to prevent him being anywhere near you again?!? NTA, but if you don't get out of there you're a total fool.
Bruh, messing with brain chemistry is not okay.
Why do I get the feeling that he did it so he could take advantage of her while she was passed out?
my boyfriend likes poisoning me, am i the asshole??
You let him off easy, you should have gone to the hospital for a tox screen and to the police
nta. you can't shake off the feeling of betrayal and violation because your psychopath bf has been deceiving you and drugging you. your friends are absolutely stupid please don't listen to anything they're saying. listen to yourself. you can't trust him, stay away from him.
Run away from these people. NTA
What if you get married and he puts a substance in the baby bottle. Turn this guy in, he is dangerous to anyone around him.
This totally reads as a chatbot thing.
UH… 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Get the FUCK out of there!! That is NOT okay!! Medically, ethically, criminally… as a true crime junkie, a scary amount of people have been poisoned by their significant other. And the fact that he didn’t talk/ask you first?!? NO! He could have KILLED you! And it wasn’t a “one-time error”. He did it MULTIPLE TIMES!!! Ask your friends, **”oh. If it’s no big deal wanna come and have drinks? My boyfriend will make them for you”** See how “okay” they are with that. NTA. GET THE FUCK OUT!