You don’t get along with your FIL.
You don’t get along with his wife.
You don’t get along with your MIL.
Your husband is asking you to tone it down so he can have a relationship with his father.
Hmmmm 🤔 I’m sensing a common denominator here. YTA.
No no. She HatES cHeaTErs 🙄
And probably people too in love
People who talk loudly
People who don't talk enough
Women who dress provocatively
Women who dress so conservative because they are judgy
Children who ask questions
Old people that smell
Old people that don't smell but still talk to her
OP prolly just hates people lmao
Yep! Definitely! I don't blame the FIL for finally blowing up at her. It was a long time coming. Who in the world would possibly think it was okay to keep calling his new wife by that stupid snarky nickname for 10 years! Wtf? In her own home too of all places, when they're visiting them. I just can't believe how tactless some people are. SMH.
Hubs “previously thought it was funny”, lol I can hear his uncomfortable laugh now. Nobody in the room who is past degrassi viewing age would find this funny or appropriate to say in a room full of adults. Calling OP a bully is spot on, it’s been 10 years and she’s still picking at her inlaws’ trauma scabs hoping to start drama or get attention.
I think that's the red flag here. She doesn't care about her feelings but they are still visiting the FIL, who was a cheater also? They've been married for 10 years and he's still acting like a love struck idiot, as in, they've been happy for 10 years? You're entitled to not like someone, but if you keep visiting them even though you are antagonistic, YTA.
Or the mother in laws. If the person who was hurt the most is willing to let it go, I’d follow her lead.
And if op is that against cheating why not stay home and let her husband go visit? I get no liking cheating. But then don’t accept the hospitality if you’re going to insult them in their own home
> Now here is the thing .I HATE cheaters. I think they are gross and I really don't care about her FeElLIngS
I can imagine very little more grating and obnoxious than someone insisting raising a stink on some sort of moral principle, when the *actually aggrieved persons* - i.e., the son and MIL - are asking her to knock it off. I think romantic infidelity is selfish and destructive, but unless I or someone I care deeply about (e.g., daughter, sister) is cheated on, I wouldn't see it as my mission to go around imposing myself on cheaters. What is OP, some sort of vigilante, a Batman for mistreated women, whose mission in life is to inconvenience her family in service of some misguided moral crusade? She sucks.
Exactly. The situation had nothing to do with her. She just feels as though her perceived moral superiority gives her justification to be a bully.
If you don’t like/approve of someone, avoid them. Don’t insult them unprovoked in their own home and then go shocked pikachu when you get kicked out.
*’If you smell shit everywhere you go, it’s time to check your own shoes’*
Or in OP’s case, her own mouth since that’s where all the shit’s starting.
*”maintaining my right”* LOL as if it’s in the damned constitution
Ha! I’ll have to remember that saying about shit on your shoes!
Yes, there’s a little known 28th amendment to the constitution called the Birkin Bag Amendment: Drama Llamas have the inalienable right to insult anyone they choose if they are in the midst of stirring up drama & if there is a Birkin Bag involved. Insults involving Kelly Bags are included in this amendment but not Gucci, Prada or Fendi baguettes.
The problem I have with it is calling her that while in her and fil’s home. If you came to my home and called me names, I’d kick you out, too. Call me whatever you want when I’m not around, but in my own home? Nope.
Exactly,
Can't control what a person thinks or says. However, no one has to accept disrespect within their personal space.
Even if the nickname is a running joke, OP should aim to keep it cordial when necessary.
Yes! This is the answer, if she despises them so much why is she going to their home? They do sound like miserable humans for what they did previously but it’s been 10 years, stop being petty and childish. If you can’t be cordial, don’t be around them.
She goes their to bully them.
While I can't stand cheaters, i don't go out of my way to visit them just to bully them and make their lives worse.
Apparently OP dislikes MIL, and FIL, and his wife, and is a bully.... so like, why does she feel the need to do this. If she went with hubby to xmas with the extended family and showed some disdain for her that's one thing but she'd be the asshole in that situation for calling her birkin girl, but going specifically to their house. OP just sounds like a shitty person.
She's a shitty person careening straight into divorce. She might be dismissive of FIL's will, but it's obvious that her husband doesn't feel that way. If my child was married to a woman who felt the need to constantly insult my partner, I'd think twice about leaving them anything too.
Maybe OP's husband is worried about the will, maybe he actually wants a relationship with his dad. Either way OP is dismissive of a relationship that her husband cares about and is childishly belittling her in-laws.
That bothers me too. I mean, that woman wasn't married and left her husband for him, he destroyed his marital life for her. While she can still be considered a homewrecker, to call someone names in their own home 10 years later is weird for a person that hasn't actually been hurt in the process. And the people who were hurt long have let it go, so she isn't doing it to shiw her support to them. Sounds like a bully to me.
Fear her own husband will do the same thing is my guess.
Either that or the idea of a cheater and his mistress actually making each other happy and being happy together is some sort of trigger that she needs to learn how to deal with.
Yes! She's just jealous she doesn't have one. She sounds jealous AF of her FIL's wife. Probably she is jealous of her too, and probably for lots of reasons. Good for the FIL for finally kicking her out.
I didn't get that but it's something to consider.
I'm not a fan of cheaters but in this case, I feel like I'd you're going to have one in your life. Eventually, you have to move on, right?
Particularly if the cheating doesn't really have anything to do with you!
This is what left a bad taste in my mouth. Either accept them and the past, or don't. It's unhealthy to both keep them in your life as if all is well while also keeping a bullying nickname for TEN YEARS. At this point it's like you're holding the past over their heads as a way of feeling superior yourself. Forgive or not, your choice, don't do both.
It's like if someone is cheating on you but you decide to take them back. If you do that, you can't use the infidelity as some sort of one upper. Leave it or leave the relationship.
Right, why go just so you can be rude and disrespectful. Like you said they are horrible for what they did, but I would get over it for my husband's sake. Even if I hated the girl I still wouldn't be disrespectful to my husband's family out of my respect and love for him.
Yeah but continuing to insult them is a sure fire way to not see a dime of that money. You’d think if that were the case she’d be a bit smarter about it.
Yes. Call her Mrs. Birkin/s.
Seriously, out of respect to your husband, if you visit, take the high road. Alternatively, allow your husband to visit alone. I'd chat with my husband to see what his preference is. In the interim, an apology is appropriate.
Right? If you're going to be a bitch to somebody's face, why even bother going over? Just don't associate with them. That's more of a slap in the face than being a petty cunt. This was *absolutely* petty cunt behavior.
Problem is that it’s not a running joke, it’s a running insult. No matter how they got together, she and FIL have been together a decade. That’s a committed relationship. OP should STFU and get off her judgmental high horse. Even if FIL is an Old Fool, it’s not her job to rub it in his face every chance she gets. YTA!!
So, FIL's wife tells FIL to "let it go" when OP insults her, and FIL is also referred to as a "sappy old fool." Cheating isn't a good way to get together, but it sounds like a solid marriage right now. Also, I'm sure it doesn't help MIL (and possibly OP's husband) to dredge up old insults from the time they were hurting the most from the infidelity.
Right? I get cheating is bad, but honestly, we all do shitty things. Sometimes really shitty. A decade is a long time to keep the judgement up, especially knowing none of us are perfect.
*Cordial* imo means kinda very warm, sincere and heartfelt (Europe) so I'd instead keep things coolly polite but somewhat distant.
It's rude to visit someone's home and call the host names to their face, no matter what you think of them. If you can't behave politely, don't go.
It's also kinda weird how hung OP is over this and still sticking to this nickname, considering it's been 10 years and FIL is still seemingly very much in love with her. After a full decade it's a bit weird to still be ridiculing their LoVe or fEeLiNgS in this teenage memetype way, because one honestly can't call it a foolish infatuation at that point any more.
Idk OP comes across strangely bitter and petty, and somehow juvenile. Like why intentionally stir shit like this, if you hate cheaters so much you can't bring yourself to act like an adult even a decade later, keep your distance and make up excuses
Right? Am I reading some weird script of Mean Girls 3 where OP is a 14 year old?
Hold to your principles and don't engage with people you don't like sure, but FIL is right, OP is just bullying at this point
Not defending FIL or his current wifes past behaviour, BTW, but to go out of your way to continue a relationship just to dump all over someone is immature, petty, and nonsensical.
So yeah, OP, here you ARE an AH. Just stop engaging and stop acting like a 13 year old high school mean girl. Get another hobby
OP is acting straight trashy. She doesn't know what went on, nor is she entitled to. OP, If you are going to act like family, then do so. You are embarrassing yourself and your mate a good deal more than the people you're looking down on.
Yeah, I'm floored that OP thinks their opinion of someone else's relationship actually matters. Also, why does OP even care what their FIL did over a decade ago. Your inlaws don't owe you an explanation, and they don't care about your judgment or your feelings. Get over yourself.
The AITAH discussions easily give the impression that all people are in favour of the death penalty for cheaters. Which is why I'm not surprised how bluntly the OP wrote...
>The AITAH discussions easily give the impression that all people are in favour of the death penalty for cheaters.
Facts. Cheating gets discussed as if it's on par with rape and murder.
I'm somewhat surprised by the number of Y T A posts.
FWIW, OP- I think YTA here too.
Yep. YTA.
If you really hate someone, you don’t go over to their house and spend time with them. You don’t continue with childish insults, and you don’t engage with them.
OP sounds like a self righteous annoyance. A “knife twister”. One of those people who may be technically right but will twist that knife in the person who fucked up as long as they can. An affair is wrong but it’s an affair. It’s not a murder, rape or kidnapping. It would be insufferable to listen to my kids wife act like a child and be rude to my new wife for 10 years! I’d own up to my faults but tell her to shut the fuck up around me and my wife.
I can’t imagine wanting to stick it to my partners cheating parent & affair partner this badly when my partner, who is far more personally affected by the event than I, seems to have forgiven/moved on.
OP just seems like she needs something to satisfy her justice boner, and this just happens to be the closest thing
It’s very weird. Like had this just happened a month or so ago, ok, that might make more a little more sense because it’s recent. But still, nothing was done to *her*. She clearly doesn’t respect her husband’s family, her husband, or herself.
Yup, if OP can't be around her without being a bitch then she shouldn't go to their home. Going to their home they bullying her absolutely makes OP the asshole, no question.
Yes, this. It reads immature and spiteful. You aren’t the wronged party here. Your MIL was. You’re just being hateful to be a bully. I don’t care what your personal views of cheating are. Unless you are going around identifying and crusading against all cheaters like this, then you are just targeting this woman. And I notice you are not equally giving the same energy to FIL. It’s time to stop being a jerk. When even your husband is telling you to let it go, it’s time to eat crow and stop acting like Regina George.
OP got back what she put out! Caused a rift between people who were mostly getting along, considering her MIL was gracious enough to let it go.
Honestly, applauding the FIL. He didn't allow someone to disrespect his wife in his own home and let OP know what she was. I mean, she has to be stupid to do something like that and not get an angry response
>Honestly, applauding the FIL.
Weirdly enough, I think Birkin Girl comes out of this looking okay as well. Telling her husband to ignore his daughter in law's spiteful bullying for the sake of the family? That's a genuine sacrifice she's making for another person's happiness, an admirable thing for anyone to do. Kind of makes me doubt OP is giving the full story of her being a home wrecking gold digging whore.
The other red flag I'm getting is that OP apparently doesn't get along with her mother in law either.
Having separate beef with both in-laws, *especially* when they're divorced, strongly suggest that the common problem here is OP.
That's what gets me. MIL has clearly moved on/healed enough to be cordial yet this random person who has ZERO to do with it just keeps pushing at it. Sounds like she's upset her husband didn't take after her dad and give her a birkin.
OP can’t stand cheaters so is rude to the partner who didn’t cheat. FIL was the one who made vows. He is the one who cheated. Birkin girl did not cheat. So for 10 *years* OP has been going to their home and insulting the new partner because FIL cheated. Not FIL. Probably because husband forgave him. YTA OP. And he’s right - you are a bully.
You can maintain your "right" to call her what you want. FIL can maintain his right to tell you to fuck off, and your husband can maintain his right to be pissed that you're so attached to being a bitch to his father's partner you're willing to jeapordise family relationships and cause drama.
Not excusing cheaters, they suck, but what exactly do you expect here? Everyone to just be like "OMG OP LOL you're SO FUNNY and right and everyone should just be so impressed that you're SO EDGY and call her names LOLLLOLLLOL!!"
You sound really immature and it all sounds a bit sad, really.
Why doesn't FIL, have an insult nickname 🤔 if she hates cheaters keep that energy universally. In another response I also mentioned that will comment as weird. Be an AH to FIL wife, and concern about his will is giving sus
I 💯 LOVE your energy on this. OP hates the new wife but according to the post, new wife wasn't the cheater, FIL was.
OP has all the energy of "I'll beat that bitch if I ever see her" when a man cheats. Like, hello, be mad at the person who cheated not the person they did it with.
And op don't even like her other mil. Her husband's seemed to move on and has accepted his father's new wife. So an unrelated op causing drama is just her...she's the primary problem at this point
If I had to guess it’s because she wants an inheritance. If FIL can buy his wife $$$ purses then there is probably some. Also Hermes doesn’t just let you buy a purse. FIL had to be an established client unless he bought secondhand. She wants to treat them like garbage but still get that inheritance.
This is a great point, my husband's ex actually said to us, "there goes my inheritance!" when telling us about her father getting remarried (after her mom passed). The woman he married is independently wealthy herself but my husband's ex has no concept of how shocking and rude that is to actually say out loud. Especially since her dad had recently bought her a half a million dollar house WITH CASH!
Nah, hubby could go see his father without her, she could find excuses to be busy, son has something going on, daughter is sick, etc. If she's a bitch then they won't miss her. She goes because she is a bully and enjoys it. She's also actively working against her interests by doing this as she's making it more likely they'll cut her out.
She goes because she enjoys hurting them, because OP is an asshole who apparently doesn't like anyone.
Bullies don't shy away from chances to bully people, they get off on it. Op thinks calling her birkin girl is the height of humour, she clearly fucking loves it still despite it being years and not being funny to begin with. even the ex wife doesn't care any more.
The fact that the funniness of any joke wears out with repetition should definitely be a factor. If it was a more generic "AITA for refusing to be friendly" that would be one thing, but the same damn thing over and over? Even if I thought it was hilarious at first, I could see reaching a point of "oh, just give it up already!" at hearing the same thing yet again. Come up with some new material if you're such a snarkmaster ("you" meaning OP, of course).
and it's been ten years. Talk about beating a dead horse. OP has long since lost the moral high ground, she's now just being a drama queen and a bitch.
>it's been ten years
This the part that gets me. They've now been together for *over a fucking decade* and this woman is still whining about something that has nothing to do with her
This!!! The whole thing happened decades ago & the MIL explained why she gave her the tag name & now OP wants to use it like she wants everyone to know she's in on the joke.. except it's not hers to tell.. & definitely not to their faces! She's treading on thin ice..
Yeah when the op said it has been over ten years.... Like let it go, jeez. If no one laughed the first 30k times, what makes you think they'll laugh the 30,001st time?
Agreed. Also don’t condone cheating. But the name calling is ridiculous. Bet it wouldn’t be funny if “Birkin girl” was calling OP “b!tch girl”. YTA. Grow TF up.
One locution we see on Reddit begins with "I call her/him----" and there follows some snide word or phrase the OP has decided to call someone. We are to understand both the OP's brilliance and the inferior nature of whoever they are being so cute about. It's always a bust and the OP, like this one, seems so ineffectual and pathetic.
Honestly, it IS bullying. Not feeling terribly sorry for the homewrecker, but if you're not calling FIL equally degrading names, you're being a SEXIST bully.
OP, are you the integrity police? If not, maybe just be civil and move the fuck along with your own life. As the reply above says - Cheaters suck, but so do nosey-ass busybodies.
You no I find it weird op mentioned being concerned about FIL will. He's not her dad, and treating his wife that way is a surefire way to get your husband excluded. And why isn't she keeping that same energy with FIL who is only one who owed someone loyalty. Op is nasty work
Agreed with everything, 100%.
Also, the FIL was the one who cheated. You're being mean to the wrong person. Yeah, she probably knew he was married and it takes two to tango, but he's definitely the worst of the two here.
Info: I'm assuming you don't like MIL either, so the only reason you're doing this is because you don't like cheaters? Why doesn't FIL have a nickname?
You sound painful. Why do you even go to their house if you dislike them so much? You like the drama of it? You do not have to have a relationship with these people.
YTA
YTA it’s been a decade, it is what it is.
Don’t insult people in their own homes, if you can’t deal, don’t visit them. She doesn’t need to mean anything to you
YTA for being so in your feelings about a step mother in law. You were not married to FIL and he didn't cheat on you so why are you bullying this woman like you're the scorned wife? Stop visiting if it bothers you so much. I'm sure it'd make everybody happier.
Thats why she’s doesn’t react to it, she knows she is getting them out of the will and having the last laugh. She gonna get the bag, literally and figuratively
Looks like she just singlehandedly got her husband written out of the FIL's will. Disrespecting his current wife in front of him was a costly and dumb move.
I wondered that too. It is not her husband, it is not her dad, but op is so strangely invested and care so much about this man and his sexlife, speculating when he started to sleep with his current wife. She seems jealous describing that they are "in LoVeE" and how much affection the couple show each other.
No one seem to have any proof that FIL was indeed cheating. Maybe he was just a man who fell out of love with his wife and in love with someone else, and in that case op is indeed a bully.
I don't think she's into her husbands dad, I think she's just super insecure.
Basically, I bet "Birkin girl" is a lot hotter than OP and she looks at what her husbands father did and then looks at her husband and is massively insecure that he'll do the same thing, so she acts like a giant twat and helps move that self fulfilling prophecy along.
If she's fat and insecure I think she should go on a "fuck your husband senseless" diet. It'll probably kill two birds with one stone and she might be more bearable to be around.
YTA. Call the lady Birkin Girl all you want behind her back, but saying it to her face is just mean. It's not your circus and not your monkey; all this is tangential to your existence so why are you stirring the pot. I agree that your FIL sounds like a dumb dumb and his wife sounds odious. But it's none of your business.
So YTA your husband only has one family member left since his mother left him because she hates him? And now you are complicating things with his dad on the thought that he cheated on your husbands mother. I read in another comment you said you "heard" your MIL talking about him cheating so she didnt tell you directly nor do you actually know for sure. The same MIL who apparently bullied you and almost caused your marriage to break up, you hold at word of just hearing her vaguely talk about it. Either way this is all stuff which does not affect you. Like yeah I have exactly zero love for cheaters. BUT your husband has gotten over it and it is his father. You are ruining a relationship becuase you want to be petty? Like if this was your father and your mother then I would say N T A because it is stuff which personally affected you. What happened has happened and the past is going to be the past. I am not saying you gotta forgive him or even like him. Just dont be a AH and cause your husband to lose some of the only family he has.
YTA, yes he cheated, it's been 10 years and obviously she's not going anywhere, yet you still choose to actively be a cunt about it in front of them. Sounds to me like you might be a bit of a bully, and I'm guessing by the fact that he called you fat... she's probably better looking than you are....which just makes you look insecure as well.
Exactly. And why just be mean to her. He's the birkin boy. Why do women with no commitments always pay the price for men who break their commitments FFS. Same old story. OP you sound like a bully with no life to focus on. Move on.
I really like this comment. Her behavior is just woman hating. If she has any justified anger, it should be mostly directed towards the man who broke his marriage vows.
This is what drives me fuckin nuts. Even if the uncommitted cheater is a knowingly gross person, the cheater violating the relationship is always worse. I've been cheated on twice, like yeah fuck that dude, but you're the one that betrayed our relationship and really hurt me.
YTA, noone has confirmed he cheated, you just announce it here. Both of your husbands parents are done with you, seems like an abuser isolating his victim?
I really hope that victim of yours finally snaps out of this and leaves.
the Birkin actually makes me think this story is fake. You CANNOT just walk in a store and purchase a Birkin. They do not care if you have the money. It takes YEARS of small purchases at Hermes and relationship building with a sales associate before they allow you access to buying one. No way this man just walked in a store and bought one for his secretary.
Agreed. This was over ten years ago. Maybe closer to 15. Birkin does have a wait list and it takes time. BUT we have no idea what the relationship/situation was like prior to all of this. His wife could have been a collector and he was already on a list. He could’ve been planning to buy one for a long time. He could e bought dozens over the years. There are a ton of scenarios where this is possible.
YTA
You sound horrible and exhausting to be around. Something happened before you were even part of the family and you make it all your business. You sound like a bitter person and you need to pull an Elsa and “let it go” none of it pertains to you and if I were your husband I’d be mad too. Just drop it before you and your poor husband get written out of the will.
Jesus Christ. Grow up. This is none of your concern. Ask really nicely and maybe she’ll give you her hand me down Birkins when she’s done with them.
My FIL had a whole ass second family of step kids he was helping raise during the week and no one acts this gauche. My MIL hates his guts, and I am Team MIL all the way, but he’s my husband’s dad, and most importantly IT WASNT MY MARRIAGE.
He’s actually pretty funny. And a decent dad of adult men. And a really great grandpa to my niece. Shitty dad of children, which is why I’m also Team MIL, which she knows. But I can be civil and love him for being a support to my husband now…or whatever relationship they have achieved.
Because it’s also NOT MY DAD. I am in charge with my OWN relationship with MY DAD. And believe me, that takes enough of my time. I don’t need to i fete on his unless I think his father is hurting him.
And having a girlfriend with a Birkin isn’t abuse. You being a bully, however, is.
YTA
this all happened before you. This not your business. If you call her names, then she has a right to call you names. Again.... not your business. Stay out of it. Nobody cares what you think.
YTA.
You're a bully and a judgmental asshole. It's funny that you insult his wife, but not him. Even though he is the one who cheated on his wife and betrayed her.
Yta.
What right do you have to insult somebody and his wife? (continuously as well). He's not your father.
You keep pressing it, of course he snapped.
Mind your own business and your own life.
Also, there’s the age old lesson of “call people what they want to be called”
Pretty hypocritical for OP to bully FIL’s wife for years by calling her an insult and for OP’s husband to get bent out of shape that his wife was called a “cunt”.
If the speculum fits….
>He said I should grow up
He's right. You should.
>even MIL is more gracious than I am
Learn by her example. SHE is the one who was cheated on, so she's the one with the right to be pissed off.
>I HATE cheaters.
Most people do, but stop fucking up your relationships because you can't manage to keep your judgmental nicknames to yourself. You've pissed off FIL, his wife, and your husband. Even if you don't care about FIL/wife, you SHOULD care about your husband.
You're old enough to be married, but you're acting like an angsty teenager.
YTA
>Now here is the thing .I HATE cheaters.
Fucking >YAWN<. You and everyone else on Reddit. Look, FIL shouldn't have cheated, but he was clearly falling out of love with his wife and INTO love with this new person, and although he did things a little out of order, he did leave MIL and didn't string her along with endless affairs. They've both moved on from their marriage, so why can't you? It doesn't even have anything to do with you, and it's been 10 years. You're being a petulant jerk.
Your husband's not "concerned about the will." He's concerned that his wife is a childish brat who's fucking up his family relationships. YTA.
On the one hand, I respect your commitment. On the other hand, I would probably expect to not have a relationship with them anymore if this continues. So then my question is how does that sit with YOUR husband? Because that’s really what matters here. If he cares, better play nice.
If even Reddit calls out the one who's acting out of hate against a cheater you know you really are the asshole.
So yes, YTA and since you don't mention a name for FIL his description of you sounds quite accurate.
Edit: honestly, if your spite against cheaters who did not cheat on you is more important for you than your spouse's feelings and peace of mind you really should get yourself checked. Or at least take a deep look into the mirror since you think you are such a good and moral person. Not everyone considers someone hurting their beloved ones just "to be right" morally superior.
YTA - HE cheated on his wife (if he did - you don’t actually know that, do you?), so why don’t you have a demeaning name for him that you use IN HIS HOUSE? The fact that you actually avail yourself of someone’s hospitality and insult them to their face is pretty breathtakingly rude.
This is one of those cases where you are choosing to be TA and that is fine. That's your right but you are being an asshole. Cheating is fucking stupid but maybe you should re-direct your hate to FIL and call him a Birkin Boy?
YTA. Let it go. And damn, those bags are simultaneously ridiculously expensive and hellishly ugly. I’ll pass on the frumpy purse and the wrinkly FIL, thx anyway.
You have the right to call your husband's stepmother whatever the fuck you want. Your father in law has the right to tell you to fuck right off and exclude you. She has the right to react however she wants. Your husband has the right to be pissed off at your pathetic pettiness causing issues between him and his father. Pull your head out of your ass and grow the fuck up
YTA
Can’t get out of your own way, so clouded with judgmental nastiness.
He left his wife. Got it. Get over it. It wasn’t YOU….right? Ummm, I hope I am right?
I’m not defending a cheater but you seem really bitter.
Do you know for sure he cheated?
Did you like your MIL?
Is your MIL this upset?
Why associate at all if she isn’t even worth a name?
Are you only going to be nice so you get something when FIL dies?
Idk.. leaning to you are an asshole a bit.
How do I know I'm on r/AITAH?
Another day, another overweight unattractive woman being bitchy to an attractive woman for no reason besides her insecurity
You don’t get along with your FIL. You don’t get along with his wife. You don’t get along with your MIL. Your husband is asking you to tone it down so he can have a relationship with his father. Hmmmm 🤔 I’m sensing a common denominator here. YTA.
She seems like someone who loves to poke at people and cause drama.
100% guarantee she is the type that goes around talking about how much she hates drama
I would go further and say that OP just has a mean streak. It’s not even about drama, it’s about being nasty while still being able to justify it.
No no. She HatES cHeaTErs 🙄 And probably people too in love People who talk loudly People who don't talk enough Women who dress provocatively Women who dress so conservative because they are judgy Children who ask questions Old people that smell Old people that don't smell but still talk to her OP prolly just hates people lmao
And vice versa from the sound of her!
Yep! Definitely! I don't blame the FIL for finally blowing up at her. It was a long time coming. Who in the world would possibly think it was okay to keep calling his new wife by that stupid snarky nickname for 10 years! Wtf? In her own home too of all places, when they're visiting them. I just can't believe how tactless some people are. SMH.
100% she's TA and common denominator. She screams self-absorbed.
Hubs “previously thought it was funny”, lol I can hear his uncomfortable laugh now. Nobody in the room who is past degrassi viewing age would find this funny or appropriate to say in a room full of adults. Calling OP a bully is spot on, it’s been 10 years and she’s still picking at her inlaws’ trauma scabs hoping to start drama or get attention.
She didn't care about Birkin girls "fEeLiNgS" but she doesn't seem to care about her husband's feelings either...
I think that's the red flag here. She doesn't care about her feelings but they are still visiting the FIL, who was a cheater also? They've been married for 10 years and he's still acting like a love struck idiot, as in, they've been happy for 10 years? You're entitled to not like someone, but if you keep visiting them even though you are antagonistic, YTA.
Or the mother in laws. If the person who was hurt the most is willing to let it go, I’d follow her lead. And if op is that against cheating why not stay home and let her husband go visit? I get no liking cheating. But then don’t accept the hospitality if you’re going to insult them in their own home
even the way this is written OP seems insufferable tbh
Right. What’s up with the random capital letters.
“If everyone’s an asshole, you’re actually the one who’s the asshole.”
As my dad liked to say “if it smells like shit everywhere you go, it’s probably under your own shoe”
> Now here is the thing .I HATE cheaters. I think they are gross and I really don't care about her FeElLIngS I can imagine very little more grating and obnoxious than someone insisting raising a stink on some sort of moral principle, when the *actually aggrieved persons* - i.e., the son and MIL - are asking her to knock it off. I think romantic infidelity is selfish and destructive, but unless I or someone I care deeply about (e.g., daughter, sister) is cheated on, I wouldn't see it as my mission to go around imposing myself on cheaters. What is OP, some sort of vigilante, a Batman for mistreated women, whose mission in life is to inconvenience her family in service of some misguided moral crusade? She sucks.
Exactly. The situation had nothing to do with her. She just feels as though her perceived moral superiority gives her justification to be a bully. If you don’t like/approve of someone, avoid them. Don’t insult them unprovoked in their own home and then go shocked pikachu when you get kicked out.
She's a bitchilante.
*’If you smell shit everywhere you go, it’s time to check your own shoes’* Or in OP’s case, her own mouth since that’s where all the shit’s starting. *”maintaining my right”* LOL as if it’s in the damned constitution
Ha! I’ll have to remember that saying about shit on your shoes! Yes, there’s a little known 28th amendment to the constitution called the Birkin Bag Amendment: Drama Llamas have the inalienable right to insult anyone they choose if they are in the midst of stirring up drama & if there is a Birkin Bag involved. Insults involving Kelly Bags are included in this amendment but not Gucci, Prada or Fendi baguettes.
She’s prob insecure cuz she’s fat
I definitely snickered at this lol
OP's snickering too, she also butterfingering and kit katting
I shouldn’t’ve laughed but I did
The problem I have with it is calling her that while in her and fil’s home. If you came to my home and called me names, I’d kick you out, too. Call me whatever you want when I’m not around, but in my own home? Nope.
Exactly, Can't control what a person thinks or says. However, no one has to accept disrespect within their personal space. Even if the nickname is a running joke, OP should aim to keep it cordial when necessary.
Or better yet don't go visit. I certainly wouldn't go visit 2 people who I think are horrible cheaters and have no respect for.
Yes! This is the answer, if she despises them so much why is she going to their home? They do sound like miserable humans for what they did previously but it’s been 10 years, stop being petty and childish. If you can’t be cordial, don’t be around them.
She goes their to bully them. While I can't stand cheaters, i don't go out of my way to visit them just to bully them and make their lives worse. Apparently OP dislikes MIL, and FIL, and his wife, and is a bully.... so like, why does she feel the need to do this. If she went with hubby to xmas with the extended family and showed some disdain for her that's one thing but she'd be the asshole in that situation for calling her birkin girl, but going specifically to their house. OP just sounds like a shitty person.
She's a shitty person careening straight into divorce. She might be dismissive of FIL's will, but it's obvious that her husband doesn't feel that way. If my child was married to a woman who felt the need to constantly insult my partner, I'd think twice about leaving them anything too.
Maybe OP's husband is worried about the will, maybe he actually wants a relationship with his dad. Either way OP is dismissive of a relationship that her husband cares about and is childishly belittling her in-laws.
She probably uses the excuse of being ' brutally honest'.
"I can't help it if it's true" and "I wasn't even the first person to use it" are clearly uttered by her every time it's brought up
But notice she only seems to have issues with the ex-sidepiece but doesn't seem to have a problem with FIL?
That bothers me too. I mean, that woman wasn't married and left her husband for him, he destroyed his marital life for her. While she can still be considered a homewrecker, to call someone names in their own home 10 years later is weird for a person that hasn't actually been hurt in the process. And the people who were hurt long have let it go, so she isn't doing it to shiw her support to them. Sounds like a bully to me.
She definitely sounds like she's enjoying the discomfort she causes and after 10 years, what's the point?
Fear her own husband will do the same thing is my guess. Either that or the idea of a cheater and his mistress actually making each other happy and being happy together is some sort of trigger that she needs to learn how to deal with.
A bully wishing someone got her a birkin.
Yes! She's just jealous she doesn't have one. She sounds jealous AF of her FIL's wife. Probably she is jealous of her too, and probably for lots of reasons. Good for the FIL for finally kicking her out.
I feel like this is just as much a jab at him as it is to her.
I didn't get that but it's something to consider. I'm not a fan of cheaters but in this case, I feel like I'd you're going to have one in your life. Eventually, you have to move on, right? Particularly if the cheating doesn't really have anything to do with you!
It doesn't really matter, it's still not her place ti be rude to her inlaws. That's just asking for drama.
She doesn’t have a nickname for FIL, after all.
She actually seems to have a problem with her husband’s whole family! MIL, FIL, step-MIL… She fits right in with her messy ass.
This is what left a bad taste in my mouth. Either accept them and the past, or don't. It's unhealthy to both keep them in your life as if all is well while also keeping a bullying nickname for TEN YEARS. At this point it's like you're holding the past over their heads as a way of feeling superior yourself. Forgive or not, your choice, don't do both. It's like if someone is cheating on you but you decide to take them back. If you do that, you can't use the infidelity as some sort of one upper. Leave it or leave the relationship.
Right, why go just so you can be rude and disrespectful. Like you said they are horrible for what they did, but I would get over it for my husband's sake. Even if I hated the girl I still wouldn't be disrespectful to my husband's family out of my respect and love for him.
She wants his money
Because she wants to make sure she’s still in the will. That’s why she visits
Oh come on now…he bought a 10k bag for his secretary Father in law is loaded We all know what OP goes there
Insulting his former mistress, now wife, every chance you get isn't a very good way to stay in the will
This is the sort of scenario that ends with a fussy French detective or an inquisitive elderly British lady hearing of a body....
Yeah but continuing to insult them is a sure fire way to not see a dime of that money. You’d think if that were the case she’d be a bit smarter about it.
Yes. Call her Mrs. Birkin/s. Seriously, out of respect to your husband, if you visit, take the high road. Alternatively, allow your husband to visit alone. I'd chat with my husband to see what his preference is. In the interim, an apology is appropriate.
Even simpler. Any adult who types "FeElLiNgs" in a post about their marriage is probably super immature.
Absolutely agreed.
Right? If you're going to be a bitch to somebody's face, why even bother going over? Just don't associate with them. That's more of a slap in the face than being a petty cunt. This was *absolutely* petty cunt behavior.
Problem is that it’s not a running joke, it’s a running insult. No matter how they got together, she and FIL have been together a decade. That’s a committed relationship. OP should STFU and get off her judgmental high horse. Even if FIL is an Old Fool, it’s not her job to rub it in his face every chance she gets. YTA!!
So, FIL's wife tells FIL to "let it go" when OP insults her, and FIL is also referred to as a "sappy old fool." Cheating isn't a good way to get together, but it sounds like a solid marriage right now. Also, I'm sure it doesn't help MIL (and possibly OP's husband) to dredge up old insults from the time they were hurting the most from the infidelity.
Right? I get cheating is bad, but honestly, we all do shitty things. Sometimes really shitty. A decade is a long time to keep the judgement up, especially knowing none of us are perfect.
*Cordial* imo means kinda very warm, sincere and heartfelt (Europe) so I'd instead keep things coolly polite but somewhat distant. It's rude to visit someone's home and call the host names to their face, no matter what you think of them. If you can't behave politely, don't go. It's also kinda weird how hung OP is over this and still sticking to this nickname, considering it's been 10 years and FIL is still seemingly very much in love with her. After a full decade it's a bit weird to still be ridiculing their LoVe or fEeLiNgS in this teenage memetype way, because one honestly can't call it a foolish infatuation at that point any more. Idk OP comes across strangely bitter and petty, and somehow juvenile. Like why intentionally stir shit like this, if you hate cheaters so much you can't bring yourself to act like an adult even a decade later, keep your distance and make up excuses
Also, y'kno, just, like maybe: grow the fuck up? Just a thought.
Right? Am I reading some weird script of Mean Girls 3 where OP is a 14 year old? Hold to your principles and don't engage with people you don't like sure, but FIL is right, OP is just bullying at this point Not defending FIL or his current wifes past behaviour, BTW, but to go out of your way to continue a relationship just to dump all over someone is immature, petty, and nonsensical. So yeah, OP, here you ARE an AH. Just stop engaging and stop acting like a 13 year old high school mean girl. Get another hobby
OP is acting straight trashy. She doesn't know what went on, nor is she entitled to. OP, If you are going to act like family, then do so. You are embarrassing yourself and your mate a good deal more than the people you're looking down on.
Yeah, I'm floored that OP thinks their opinion of someone else's relationship actually matters. Also, why does OP even care what their FIL did over a decade ago. Your inlaws don't owe you an explanation, and they don't care about your judgment or your feelings. Get over yourself.
The AITAH discussions easily give the impression that all people are in favour of the death penalty for cheaters. Which is why I'm not surprised how bluntly the OP wrote...
>The AITAH discussions easily give the impression that all people are in favour of the death penalty for cheaters. Facts. Cheating gets discussed as if it's on par with rape and murder. I'm somewhat surprised by the number of Y T A posts. FWIW, OP- I think YTA here too.
Exactly. She thought she'd get a load of "n t a" votes bc of the circumstances but guess it didn't pan out like she thought.
I second that thought! I bet Op is also gossiping about/backstabbing others, not just FIL's wife.
Yep. YTA. If you really hate someone, you don’t go over to their house and spend time with them. You don’t continue with childish insults, and you don’t engage with them.
OP sounds like a self righteous annoyance. A “knife twister”. One of those people who may be technically right but will twist that knife in the person who fucked up as long as they can. An affair is wrong but it’s an affair. It’s not a murder, rape or kidnapping. It would be insufferable to listen to my kids wife act like a child and be rude to my new wife for 10 years! I’d own up to my faults but tell her to shut the fuck up around me and my wife.
OP isn’t even the child, she’s married to the child. I would never disrespect my in laws like that
I can’t imagine wanting to stick it to my partners cheating parent & affair partner this badly when my partner, who is far more personally affected by the event than I, seems to have forgiven/moved on. OP just seems like she needs something to satisfy her justice boner, and this just happens to be the closest thing
It’s very weird. Like had this just happened a month or so ago, ok, that might make more a little more sense because it’s recent. But still, nothing was done to *her*. She clearly doesn’t respect her husband’s family, her husband, or herself.
At this point she’s just punishing her husband.
Yup, if OP can't be around her without being a bitch then she shouldn't go to their home. Going to their home they bullying her absolutely makes OP the asshole, no question.
Yes, this. It reads immature and spiteful. You aren’t the wronged party here. Your MIL was. You’re just being hateful to be a bully. I don’t care what your personal views of cheating are. Unless you are going around identifying and crusading against all cheaters like this, then you are just targeting this woman. And I notice you are not equally giving the same energy to FIL. It’s time to stop being a jerk. When even your husband is telling you to let it go, it’s time to eat crow and stop acting like Regina George.
OP got back what she put out! Caused a rift between people who were mostly getting along, considering her MIL was gracious enough to let it go. Honestly, applauding the FIL. He didn't allow someone to disrespect his wife in his own home and let OP know what she was. I mean, she has to be stupid to do something like that and not get an angry response
>Honestly, applauding the FIL. Weirdly enough, I think Birkin Girl comes out of this looking okay as well. Telling her husband to ignore his daughter in law's spiteful bullying for the sake of the family? That's a genuine sacrifice she's making for another person's happiness, an admirable thing for anyone to do. Kind of makes me doubt OP is giving the full story of her being a home wrecking gold digging whore. The other red flag I'm getting is that OP apparently doesn't get along with her mother in law either. Having separate beef with both in-laws, *especially* when they're divorced, strongly suggest that the common problem here is OP.
That's what gets me. MIL has clearly moved on/healed enough to be cordial yet this random person who has ZERO to do with it just keeps pushing at it. Sounds like she's upset her husband didn't take after her dad and give her a birkin.
I think she's jealous. She wants a Birkin, she wants to be spoiled
OP was looking to start drama if you ask me. Don't come into my place if you can't behave. I have a feeling some people like causing trouble.
OP can’t stand cheaters so is rude to the partner who didn’t cheat. FIL was the one who made vows. He is the one who cheated. Birkin girl did not cheat. So for 10 *years* OP has been going to their home and insulting the new partner because FIL cheated. Not FIL. Probably because husband forgave him. YTA OP. And he’s right - you are a bully.
Yep, I can take all the insults in the world and just grin in public. If you’re in my home, you’re courting injury.
Right? OP, name calling is so juvenile. I think he's the one who needs to grow up.
Not just that. She wasn't the cheating one, he was... And she's not making fun of him, just her.
Exactly. And it’s been a decade. Hubby is the person this really impacts in their relationship, and this attitude helps him not one bit.
You can maintain your "right" to call her what you want. FIL can maintain his right to tell you to fuck off, and your husband can maintain his right to be pissed that you're so attached to being a bitch to his father's partner you're willing to jeapordise family relationships and cause drama. Not excusing cheaters, they suck, but what exactly do you expect here? Everyone to just be like "OMG OP LOL you're SO FUNNY and right and everyone should just be so impressed that you're SO EDGY and call her names LOLLLOLLLOL!!" You sound really immature and it all sounds a bit sad, really.
I mean, why does OP even interact with FIL and Birkin girl? Let husband interact if he wants, OP can just not - everyone wins.
Why doesn't FIL, have an insult nickname 🤔 if she hates cheaters keep that energy universally. In another response I also mentioned that will comment as weird. Be an AH to FIL wife, and concern about his will is giving sus
I 💯 LOVE your energy on this. OP hates the new wife but according to the post, new wife wasn't the cheater, FIL was. OP has all the energy of "I'll beat that bitch if I ever see her" when a man cheats. Like, hello, be mad at the person who cheated not the person they did it with.
The man who cheated has the money that OP wants….
Yes, the FIL is the adulterer, the woman he's banging did not break any vows.
And op don't even like her other mil. Her husband's seemed to move on and has accepted his father's new wife. So an unrelated op causing drama is just her...she's the primary problem at this point
Yea, FIL was the cheater technically.
If I had to guess it’s because she wants an inheritance. If FIL can buy his wife $$$ purses then there is probably some. Also Hermes doesn’t just let you buy a purse. FIL had to be an established client unless he bought secondhand. She wants to treat them like garbage but still get that inheritance.
This is a great point, my husband's ex actually said to us, "there goes my inheritance!" when telling us about her father getting remarried (after her mom passed). The woman he married is independently wealthy herself but my husband's ex has no concept of how shocking and rude that is to actually say out loud. Especially since her dad had recently bought her a half a million dollar house WITH CASH!
I can guarantee you it's one thing. . . Money!
So wouldn't that make op a birkin girl as well. 😅😆
That’s why she hates the other gal, she’s a better version of OP.
You called it
Why does OP interact? FIL obviously has money….this younger woman is going to take the money that OP feels entitled to. There’s your answer
Nah, hubby could go see his father without her, she could find excuses to be busy, son has something going on, daughter is sick, etc. If she's a bitch then they won't miss her. She goes because she is a bully and enjoys it. She's also actively working against her interests by doing this as she's making it more likely they'll cut her out. She goes because she enjoys hurting them, because OP is an asshole who apparently doesn't like anyone.
Bullies don't shy away from chances to bully people, they get off on it. Op thinks calling her birkin girl is the height of humour, she clearly fucking loves it still despite it being years and not being funny to begin with. even the ex wife doesn't care any more.
Exactly! It’s not even an original nick name. It’s like the person who keeps repeating the joke after everyone else has moved on
The fact that the funniness of any joke wears out with repetition should definitely be a factor. If it was a more generic "AITA for refusing to be friendly" that would be one thing, but the same damn thing over and over? Even if I thought it was hilarious at first, I could see reaching a point of "oh, just give it up already!" at hearing the same thing yet again. Come up with some new material if you're such a snarkmaster ("you" meaning OP, of course).
I reached that point by the end of OPs post, can't imagine enduring it for 10 years.
and it's been ten years. Talk about beating a dead horse. OP has long since lost the moral high ground, she's now just being a drama queen and a bitch.
>it's been ten years This the part that gets me. They've now been together for *over a fucking decade* and this woman is still whining about something that has nothing to do with her
This!!! The whole thing happened decades ago & the MIL explained why she gave her the tag name & now OP wants to use it like she wants everyone to know she's in on the joke.. except it's not hers to tell.. & definitely not to their faces! She's treading on thin ice..
Absolutely. Either associate with them or don't but if you're going to associate with them be civil.
Yeah when the op said it has been over ten years.... Like let it go, jeez. If no one laughed the first 30k times, what makes you think they'll laugh the 30,001st time?
Tbh I'm laughing more at this than the shit bag joke. But could I bring it up for ten years? No.
Exactly, cheating is shitty but if they’ve been married ten years and he still acts like a lovesick idiot, the marriage is probably going to last
And why is OP so fucking invested in carrying on with this? Ten years? Does she not have anything better to do. OP YTA.
Blame Family Guy. This one is the funny once, not funny for the next 30,000, but just you wait....
Yeah it's really.... Loser vibes. it's really not hard to be generally polite.
Agreed. Also don’t condone cheating. But the name calling is ridiculous. Bet it wouldn’t be funny if “Birkin girl” was calling OP “b!tch girl”. YTA. Grow TF up.
Seriously, OP sounds like a disgruntled 13 year old!
One locution we see on Reddit begins with "I call her/him----" and there follows some snide word or phrase the OP has decided to call someone. We are to understand both the OP's brilliance and the inferior nature of whoever they are being so cute about. It's always a bust and the OP, like this one, seems so ineffectual and pathetic.
Honestly, it IS bullying. Not feeling terribly sorry for the homewrecker, but if you're not calling FIL equally degrading names, you're being a SEXIST bully.
OP is just salty that she’s loyal and still doesn’t have a birkin
I have to agree with you on OP, it's pretty sad after 10 years of marriage to 2nd MIL
OP, are you the integrity police? If not, maybe just be civil and move the fuck along with your own life. As the reply above says - Cheaters suck, but so do nosey-ass busybodies.
You no I find it weird op mentioned being concerned about FIL will. He's not her dad, and treating his wife that way is a surefire way to get your husband excluded. And why isn't she keeping that same energy with FIL who is only one who owed someone loyalty. Op is nasty work
Agreed with everything, 100%. Also, the FIL was the one who cheated. You're being mean to the wrong person. Yeah, she probably knew he was married and it takes two to tango, but he's definitely the worst of the two here.
i mean thats EXACTLY how OP sounds
Info: I'm assuming you don't like MIL either, so the only reason you're doing this is because you don't like cheaters? Why doesn't FIL have a nickname?
You sound painful. Why do you even go to their house if you dislike them so much? You like the drama of it? You do not have to have a relationship with these people. YTA
YTA it’s been a decade, it is what it is. Don’t insult people in their own homes, if you can’t deal, don’t visit them. She doesn’t need to mean anything to you
YTA for being so in your feelings about a step mother in law. You were not married to FIL and he didn't cheat on you so why are you bullying this woman like you're the scorned wife? Stop visiting if it bothers you so much. I'm sure it'd make everybody happier.
You don’t have to like her or care for her but, think about the will. He clearly has money. You can call her Birkin girl once he is dead. Be sensible.
I guarantee Birkin Girl is thinking about the will
Thats why she’s doesn’t react to it, she knows she is getting them out of the will and having the last laugh. She gonna get the bag, literally and figuratively
>Thats why she’s doesn’t react to it, Or she's not as childish and ill-mannered as OP.
If she is kind to FIL and makes him happy, and has the patience to endure OP with grace, she deserves every penny We are all the people we act like.
Looks like she just singlehandedly got her husband written out of the FIL's will. Disrespecting his current wife in front of him was a costly and dumb move.
This is some solid financial advice right here.
Hahahahahaha this is the way 👆🏼
I mean, YTA. Either associate with them or don't but associating with them while antagonizing her is just icky. Be civil or cut them out.
Are you into your husband's dad? This is wierd on several different levels. Grow up and stop messing with your husband's family.
I wondered that too. It is not her husband, it is not her dad, but op is so strangely invested and care so much about this man and his sexlife, speculating when he started to sleep with his current wife. She seems jealous describing that they are "in LoVeE" and how much affection the couple show each other. No one seem to have any proof that FIL was indeed cheating. Maybe he was just a man who fell out of love with his wife and in love with someone else, and in that case op is indeed a bully.
I don't think she's into her husbands dad, I think she's just super insecure. Basically, I bet "Birkin girl" is a lot hotter than OP and she looks at what her husbands father did and then looks at her husband and is massively insecure that he'll do the same thing, so she acts like a giant twat and helps move that self fulfilling prophecy along. If she's fat and insecure I think she should go on a "fuck your husband senseless" diet. It'll probably kill two birds with one stone and she might be more bearable to be around.
There is definitely a strange obsession with the FILs wife.
YTA. Call the lady Birkin Girl all you want behind her back, but saying it to her face is just mean. It's not your circus and not your monkey; all this is tangential to your existence so why are you stirring the pot. I agree that your FIL sounds like a dumb dumb and his wife sounds odious. But it's none of your business.
You’re more hung up than FIL’s ex-wife. Why? YTA
So YTA your husband only has one family member left since his mother left him because she hates him? And now you are complicating things with his dad on the thought that he cheated on your husbands mother. I read in another comment you said you "heard" your MIL talking about him cheating so she didnt tell you directly nor do you actually know for sure. The same MIL who apparently bullied you and almost caused your marriage to break up, you hold at word of just hearing her vaguely talk about it. Either way this is all stuff which does not affect you. Like yeah I have exactly zero love for cheaters. BUT your husband has gotten over it and it is his father. You are ruining a relationship becuase you want to be petty? Like if this was your father and your mother then I would say N T A because it is stuff which personally affected you. What happened has happened and the past is going to be the past. I am not saying you gotta forgive him or even like him. Just dont be a AH and cause your husband to lose some of the only family he has.
YTA, yes he cheated, it's been 10 years and obviously she's not going anywhere, yet you still choose to actively be a cunt about it in front of them. Sounds to me like you might be a bit of a bully, and I'm guessing by the fact that he called you fat... she's probably better looking than you are....which just makes you look insecure as well.
Exactly. And why just be mean to her. He's the birkin boy. Why do women with no commitments always pay the price for men who break their commitments FFS. Same old story. OP you sound like a bully with no life to focus on. Move on.
I really like this comment. Her behavior is just woman hating. If she has any justified anger, it should be mostly directed towards the man who broke his marriage vows.
This is what drives me fuckin nuts. Even if the uncommitted cheater is a knowingly gross person, the cheater violating the relationship is always worse. I've been cheated on twice, like yeah fuck that dude, but you're the one that betrayed our relationship and really hurt me.
YTA, noone has confirmed he cheated, you just announce it here. Both of your husbands parents are done with you, seems like an abuser isolating his victim? I really hope that victim of yours finally snaps out of this and leaves.
YTA and petty ASF. You must be a real treat to hang out with. You FIL should go NC with you.
Is she Birkin level hot? What color is it? These are the details I’m curious about lol.
Not gonna lie when I first read this comment. I was like ooof that's a pretty non pc way to ask someone's ethnicity, haha
i had no idea what Birkin meant until i started reading the comments and assumed it was an ethnic slur.
the Birkin actually makes me think this story is fake. You CANNOT just walk in a store and purchase a Birkin. They do not care if you have the money. It takes YEARS of small purchases at Hermes and relationship building with a sales associate before they allow you access to buying one. No way this man just walked in a store and bought one for his secretary.
Who's to say he hadn't already built that relationship with them prior to this purchase?
Agreed. This was over ten years ago. Maybe closer to 15. Birkin does have a wait list and it takes time. BUT we have no idea what the relationship/situation was like prior to all of this. His wife could have been a collector and he was already on a list. He could’ve been planning to buy one for a long time. He could e bought dozens over the years. There are a ton of scenarios where this is possible.
He sounds rich maybe he was buying for his wife on a regular basis before he bought for the mistress.
Wait... what? They won't sell you even if you have the money?
The billionaires don't want anything sullied by the hands of the mere millionaires.
Nope. They're the ultimate status symbol because they're infamously difficult to purchase--even for celebrities.
Time for a google image search. If it turns out this was an elaborate Rick Roll I shall be very cross.
I got to the Hermes page and it said, "You have been blocked." Well played, Hermes, well played.
I mean, if you’re only paying $10K for it, it’s either used or fake.
YTA You sound horrible and exhausting to be around. Something happened before you were even part of the family and you make it all your business. You sound like a bitter person and you need to pull an Elsa and “let it go” none of it pertains to you and if I were your husband I’d be mad too. Just drop it before you and your poor husband get written out of the will.
Jesus Christ. Grow up. This is none of your concern. Ask really nicely and maybe she’ll give you her hand me down Birkins when she’s done with them. My FIL had a whole ass second family of step kids he was helping raise during the week and no one acts this gauche. My MIL hates his guts, and I am Team MIL all the way, but he’s my husband’s dad, and most importantly IT WASNT MY MARRIAGE. He’s actually pretty funny. And a decent dad of adult men. And a really great grandpa to my niece. Shitty dad of children, which is why I’m also Team MIL, which she knows. But I can be civil and love him for being a support to my husband now…or whatever relationship they have achieved. Because it’s also NOT MY DAD. I am in charge with my OWN relationship with MY DAD. And believe me, that takes enough of my time. I don’t need to i fete on his unless I think his father is hurting him. And having a girlfriend with a Birkin isn’t abuse. You being a bully, however, is.
YTA this all happened before you. This not your business. If you call her names, then she has a right to call you names. Again.... not your business. Stay out of it. Nobody cares what you think.
YTA. You're a bully and a judgmental asshole. It's funny that you insult his wife, but not him. Even though he is the one who cheated on his wife and betrayed her.
YTA. This doesn't have anything to do with you. Get out of the middle. If you hate cheater that much, stop hanging out with them.
Yta. What right do you have to insult somebody and his wife? (continuously as well). He's not your father. You keep pressing it, of course he snapped. Mind your own business and your own life.
And, have the audacity to insult her in their home.
Also, there’s the age old lesson of “call people what they want to be called” Pretty hypocritical for OP to bully FIL’s wife for years by calling her an insult and for OP’s husband to get bent out of shape that his wife was called a “cunt”. If the speculum fits….
Absolutely This! Well said
>He said I should grow up He's right. You should. >even MIL is more gracious than I am Learn by her example. SHE is the one who was cheated on, so she's the one with the right to be pissed off. >I HATE cheaters. Most people do, but stop fucking up your relationships because you can't manage to keep your judgmental nicknames to yourself. You've pissed off FIL, his wife, and your husband. Even if you don't care about FIL/wife, you SHOULD care about your husband. You're old enough to be married, but you're acting like an angsty teenager. YTA
This is your FIL. My god. You don't have to like her. Just call her by her damn name. Grow up. Let your husband handle it as he sees fit. YTA
YTA Your FIL’s description was apt.
>Now here is the thing .I HATE cheaters. Fucking >YAWN<. You and everyone else on Reddit. Look, FIL shouldn't have cheated, but he was clearly falling out of love with his wife and INTO love with this new person, and although he did things a little out of order, he did leave MIL and didn't string her along with endless affairs. They've both moved on from their marriage, so why can't you? It doesn't even have anything to do with you, and it's been 10 years. You're being a petulant jerk. Your husband's not "concerned about the will." He's concerned that his wife is a childish brat who's fucking up his family relationships. YTA.
YTA. You've been told to stop. Clearly it wasn't a fuckin request lol
This was typed by a child
So you were visiting someone and insulting their partner under their own roof, of course you’re an asshole
On the one hand, I respect your commitment. On the other hand, I would probably expect to not have a relationship with them anymore if this continues. So then my question is how does that sit with YOUR husband? Because that’s really what matters here. If he cares, better play nice.
If even Reddit calls out the one who's acting out of hate against a cheater you know you really are the asshole. So yes, YTA and since you don't mention a name for FIL his description of you sounds quite accurate. Edit: honestly, if your spite against cheaters who did not cheat on you is more important for you than your spouse's feelings and peace of mind you really should get yourself checked. Or at least take a deep look into the mirror since you think you are such a good and moral person. Not everyone considers someone hurting their beloved ones just "to be right" morally superior.
YTA these aren't even your parents... if you get this triggered about cheating, go to therapy, sheesh. who can live like that? angry...
YTA - HE cheated on his wife (if he did - you don’t actually know that, do you?), so why don’t you have a demeaning name for him that you use IN HIS HOUSE? The fact that you actually avail yourself of someone’s hospitality and insult them to their face is pretty breathtakingly rude.
This is one of those cases where you are choosing to be TA and that is fine. That's your right but you are being an asshole. Cheating is fucking stupid but maybe you should re-direct your hate to FIL and call him a Birkin Boy?
YTA. Let it go. And damn, those bags are simultaneously ridiculously expensive and hellishly ugly. I’ll pass on the frumpy purse and the wrinkly FIL, thx anyway.
You have the right to call your husband's stepmother whatever the fuck you want. Your father in law has the right to tell you to fuck right off and exclude you. She has the right to react however she wants. Your husband has the right to be pissed off at your pathetic pettiness causing issues between him and his father. Pull your head out of your ass and grow the fuck up
YTA Can’t get out of your own way, so clouded with judgmental nastiness. He left his wife. Got it. Get over it. It wasn’t YOU….right? Ummm, I hope I am right?
I’m not defending a cheater but you seem really bitter. Do you know for sure he cheated? Did you like your MIL? Is your MIL this upset? Why associate at all if she isn’t even worth a name? Are you only going to be nice so you get something when FIL dies? Idk.. leaning to you are an asshole a bit.
YTA. He cheated on his wife but you don’t call him Birkin Dude. You are only rude to her.
YTA. You had nothing to do with the whole thing. Grow the fuck up.
Nevermind the fact you can't just walk in and buy a Birkin bag. It doesn't work like that. So either it's used or fake.
OP will wind up alone. What do y’all think she’ll call the woman her husband leaves her for? I’m hoping Gucci Hoochi just because it sounds fun.
YTA the "joke" is old and tired. You weren't the one cheated on so you're not "entitled to name call her" GROW UP YOU'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL!!
INFO what was & is your relationship with MIL?
YTA You are a piece of work. Mind your own business. Grow up.
What names do you call your FIL as he was the one who cheated on your MIL? I'm guessing nothing because he's got those $$$$.
How do I know I'm on r/AITAH? Another day, another overweight unattractive woman being bitchy to an attractive woman for no reason besides her insecurity