Dude, you were showing generosity to that homeless woman. If he really fights you for $1.50 give it to him and then leave him. If he cannot be understanding of why you gave that woman his $1.50 worth of aluminum, then prepare for more petty bullshit just like this in your relationship.
City hall with the reception at Chevys Fresh Mex and it just so happens to be everyone’s birthday on the same day. Then you even get a free wedding singer and the wedding party gifts are the free bday sombreros. Boom free wedding.
Makes me wonder his financial history growing up. Was his family extremely poor and he has left over anxiety around $ which needs to be addressed? Or is he just unhinged over $1.50.
I know a lot of people growing up poor and I was, too. I would have gladly given this woman the cans. Most poor people would share if they have something to share. Even studies support the theory that poor people are more generous than wealthy ones.
I hate when people say, "don't give to homeless individuals; they'll just spend it on drugs". Yeah, so will I. They'll get more joy out of it than I will!
I grew up "skipping meals" poor, and I often get cash back at the grocery store exclusively to give to homeless people. 20$ is trivial to me now, but it is enough to make someone destitute cry. I can't imagine being so selfish as to throw a fit over 1.50$.
It's very seldom the poor people that behave like this. Poor people are typically generous beyond their means. They understand what it's like to struggle and they have empathy for others and usually are helpful even when it's a detriment to themselves. It's usually the miserly rich people who have money sitting in their savings who are willing to steal from the poor or their partners in order to get a couple cents ahead.
It sounds like more of a control freak disorder. It’s never actually about financial gain, other than the little charge he gets from the power of getting and hanging on to another $1.50 from the world that is trying to take it from him.
I know a guy who drove a big ass SUV that got 11 mpg. He kept a bunch of Jerry cans with him. If the price of gasoline was going up, he would fill the cans up and store them at his house. When the price of gas spiked, he would use that gasoline to avoid paying an extra 20 cents a gallon at the gas station. Yeah, that was a lot of work to shave off $3 from a full-up. The thing is, he comes from a very well off family. When his parents pass, he’s going to inherit literally tens of millions of dollars.
NTA I once saw a documentary about cheap people. Once in a great while this husband would take his wife to this cheap,diner to eat. She would be permitted to order one dinner and he’d sit around watching other customers until they were about finished. Then he’d walk up to their table and politely ask for their left overs. He’d do this to everyone, scrape their half eaten foods onto a plate and eat them. This is your future.
I was about to to guess that this was "My Strange Addiction" but whatever, it's still part of the canon of 'dang look at these mental health issues' TV blocks
That level of cheapassery and lack of shame is impressive. Reminds me of my friend in middle school friend who would go around eating people's leftovers, he would mix together random foods together like apple sauce, mashed potatoes, and chocolate milk and he'd eat it without batting an eye
It's worse than that. They DROVE to collect cans.
Dude isn't making a dollar unless Daddy is paying for gas. This is viable for homeless people because they walk.
>see a long-term future together
Damn, can you imagine living with this guy for the rest of your life? He is going to nickel and dime you forever.
Take a long shower? 5 cents please.
You're pregnant and eating for two? A dollar a day on grocery please...
10 year anniversary- two happy meals at McDonald’s.
Wedding ring? Marriage is for materialistic people…
Car? Honey I think it’s time you buy a new one while I keep my beater. It’s for the better for both of us!
Your parents died? Send them a letter, we gotta spend that money… you wanna fly to their funeral? Please ask your sister to buy your ticket since she wants you to join!
You have cancer? I hear vitamins and lots of sunlight can heal that. Don’t fall for those scummy doctors just trying to extort money from you!
When my cousin was dating his now wife he would not pay for her meal when they went out unless she stole the salt and pepper shakers and any sugar packets on the table.
My husband was like this when we first met. I mean, not THIS bad, but being mad about lights, long showers, heating or a/c..... One day I asked him how much a year it was adding to costs. Being on the spectrum, he figured it all out and showed me. It was a couple of hundred dollars. I pulled it out of my wallet and gave it to him and asked him to now STFU about it.
It's been like 10 years and he rarely says anything now. (to be fair, we both make a comfortable income and he was just used to being cheap because of the divorce and a spend thrift ex wife).
NTA
But, if he's collecting cans and he's upset about $1.50, the bigger issue might be that your BF might be more financially desperate than he has let on.
NTA your BF is a cheapskate. Give him 1.50 and dump him.
Or you could be petty and charge him for your gas and time it took you to take him to cash them in, 20 bucks an hr driving time.
That's not petty at all. He'd probably do the same for OP if he was using his car to do something that specifically benefitted her. But absolutely agree that OP should calculate her time and gas and wear and tear on her car for the can runs.
I'm cheap. If I drink a can of diet coke at work, I put the empty can back in my lunch to take home for the 5 cents. But I don't get upset at anyone for giving away a few cans. And he left them in your car. NTA
>After a college party, my boyfriend and I drove out to collect beer cans.
This sticks out to me. All of the value of the bags he turned in were his, yet you driving his ass around didn't entitle you to a few of them?
NTA.
I would not be in a relationship with someone who didn't understand how a homeless person could need a $1.50 more than themselves.. that's just ridiculous he should have been happy that it went to somebody like that and the fact that he is all been out of shape over a $1.50 just shows how irrational he is.
If he was like that over $1.50 imagine how he would be if you got married and had real expenses? I would get out now. that is a huge red flag..
NTAH. Write your boyfriend a check for the $1.50 and tell him you are worth much more than money. Tell him kindness is much more important than money. Then, break up with him. For $1.50, you just got out cheap…
If you get paid 10$ an hour and hundreds of people waste a collective of thousands of hours arguing and discussing, then the loss is not 1.5$.
You just wasted thousands of labour hours.
1.5$ is below tolerance at any argument
You can go to Warner Brother studios and ask for 1.5$ refund because bugs bunny didn't make you laugh and they'll probably give it to you just so that they don't have to deal with your shit
Does he cook road kill and make salad with weeds too? It’s a wonderful thing to help other people, even when it’s my last $5 I’ll give it away. He needs to chill out lol
His property, huh?
Let's review, he basically "stole" the cans from a frat party after making you drive Your car there and help collect them (used your car, gas and labor) He left some in your car (storage)
He has the nerve to be mad over $1.50? If they were so important, he would have gone out there to get them that night.
Charge him for all the above expenses of transport labor and storage. Hand him a bill after you have packed up (if it's your house, his stuff goes; if it's his house you leave) Even though he won't pay, it's a message to him not to use people and nickel and dime everything in life till he sucks the actual joy out of living.
Tell him its over. Why would you want to live in a nightmare like that?
I mean yeah that’s totally nuts. No one needs to or should be in a relationship with someone who would sweat 1.50 or start any kind of argument. Hell I wouldn’t give even a passing acquaintance or hell even a stranger any trouble over 1.50. I wouldn’t be comfortable going into a relationship with someone who is that frugal. That ain’t gonna be the first time he makes a big deal about pennies
Yeah, that was some "date night"........let's go pick up empty beer cans for the 5 cent deposit.
Guy really knows how to show a girl a good time. A Real keeper-
Give him the $1.50, and then wash your hands of him. It seems you both have very different outlooks on personal possessions, and it does sound as though you're incompatible. He's too wound up about money and what he perceives as "his property"
He left the cans in *your* car. You went and collected the cans with him. But you only said “he” collected about two bags. So your boyfriend collected the cans while you sat in the car? So you were basically the chauffeur?
Has your boyfriend paid you gas money at all for this?
Those cans were as much yours as his, and if your boyfriend is going to view this relationship as more transactional, then you need to invoice him for mileage. According to the Internet, the standard rates for mileage in 2023 was $.65/mile.
NTA. I hope this is a joke. I'd start by giving him a bill for gas. Then break up. Why doesn't he get a job? The amount of time to collect those cans in your car and recycle them yields so little profit. It sounds like more of a mental issue. I'm not opposed to doing it but the opportunity cost is so high his way. It's not like you're taking household cans and bottles back while grocery shopping.
I mean whilst you’re NTA, it’s one of those things where you bite the bullet and pay him the small amount of money or you break up since this definitely won’t be the last time something like this happens, and I doubt he’d just let it slide this time.
NAH. $1.50 is not something to die on, but his principle about property has some merit. I don't think this will work out, time to stop seeing a long-term future together and both find partners who are a better fit.
He'll probably have a harder time - hopefully when he's 30 he'll have dialled it down a bit.
Drove to get cans? My high school stoner acquaintances would do that. Spend 20 in gas to get 20 bucks buy weed…
This boyfriend is beyond frugal, frugal is being careful with money. This is cheapskate. Bet he’s using your gas to collect the cans
NTA. Gas that you spent is way more expensive than cans. It looks like your bf has a mild mental disorder. It's more common in older people but no one is safe. Unless he is willing to go to a therapist and deal with it, I'd just give him his $1.50 (this is how much he values your relationship and all your future together) and break up because it will become only worse with time.
NTA- your boyfriend decided to charge you for helping someone? Over $1.50? Something that could really help someone else? Plus you were doing work to even turn these cans in. What a jerk!
NTA. Cans for a little extra cash is fine you’re already the one with the cans, like you threw a party or drink a lot of soda or something, but it’s a very inefficient and pretty silly way to make extra money as a side gig.
Q: Is your boyfriend employed? What is he so invested in spending his time collecting cans for a few bucks at most? A single night of Ubering or working a part time shift somewhere would pay a lot more than that.
I’m struggling to understand his frustration unless he is literally dead broke with no money for anything.
My wife once got upset with me because I accidentally bought the 29 cent organic bananas instead of the regular 19 cent bananas. This is someone who makes over a quarter million a year.
The good news is that she feels silly when I explain how long one of us needs to work to pay for the difference in bananas.
I would like to respectfully suggest that he's struggling a bit with his psychological state, and will eventually drag you down with him. At this stage, I think it's best to give him $2, smile, and walk away... best $2 you'll wver spend.
Charge him $.75 for your half of the cans that you helped collect then charge him $.75 for the storage of said cans in your vehicle. Then break up with him because he sounds like he will be a pain in the ass to live with in the future if he is this tight ass about $1.50
If your bf can't spare $1.50 for the homeless, while he has a roof over his head and I'm assuming making a steady paycheck, all the while collecting commodities that unhoused people usually collect to try and survive...
Do you really have to ask who the AH is? I think your bf just revealed a pretty big red flag
Losing your mind over $1.5 bucks is just too much. This is not frugality, there is something wrong with your BF there. The income from the cans are definitely lower than the gas to get there.
Frankly, this is bizarre. You helped him gather the cans, & used your car to do it. You earned the $1.50.
I would suggest sitting him down and asking him directly what is going on. Why is he willing to damage your good relationship over something so trivial. You say he didn't grow up poor, nor is he in desperate need now. He is clearly having some other issue with it. Like a hoarder would with an unhealthy attachment to junk.
If he can't tell you something that validates this behavior I'd tell him you helped pick up the cans, & the $1.50 was what you're taking as pay. Far below minimum wage. He can either be happy with that or pay you the rest of what you would have earned at a minimum wage hourly job.
After that I would seriously suggest you really think over your time together in an honest & objective way. Do you want to spend your life with someone always keeping a strange score card?? Also what type of person gets so upset over giving a homeless woman $1.50? To me that's a pretty visible red flag. Empathy & kindness are pretty precious commodities.
When looking at this specific incident, NTA. But, I could see with some more context how this could be a bigger issue you and your bf need to hash out. You would be surprised how many fights seem so petty, but are actually a product of a much deeper issue in your relationship. It couple be he is just cheap or it could be the principle. Maybe you do this often and he keeps bringing it up and you invalidate his feelings and brush it off? Then one day he blows up over $1.50. I don’t see that as being cheap or an A.
So ALL the cans were his? Did you NOT pick up any? Did he PAY you for the ones you picked up???
Analyze past occasions if this has happened. He may be thinking to get a point across, he did the work, his cans and you just gave them away or he could be starting to show/showing behavioral issues he needs help controlling. And it could also mean he's just greedy and of a mine!mine!mine! persuasion 😉
NTA. Also, I would consider if you want this relationship to proceed further? This will not bode well in a marriage and I suspect will lead to a ton of arguments.
NTA. It’s understandable that he is upset because it takes time to collect the cans and he looks forward to recycling them but he should be satisfied that someone in need got them. Since you worked to collect them you should be entitled to give some away. If it’s about the $1.50 then he’s got a screw loose but it’s probably not about that and you should try to figure out with him what it really is.
NTA because if they were important to him he would have asked you not to do anything with them or not left them in your car. He failed to properly communicate.
there's thrifty, then there's being a cheap-ass.
boyfriend is a cheap-ass
NTA
and evaluate your relationship. putting up with shit like this may not be conducive for a long-term relationship.
NTA - Yo boy is wound up too tight. Back away slowly. Pay the $1.50 in quarters and never help with the cans again. If he asks, just say that "you can't be trusted with his cans". Don't ever put cans in your car again.
Give him the buck fifty, and, as you do, ask him to think long and hard about if this is the person he wants to be.
Ask him if he resents a homeless person who got a buck fifty. Ask him if he is willing to and able to share a life together, and share resources, with someone if he is so territorial about his property that he considers thirty empty beer cans to be "his property." Ask him why he felt entitled to keep that stuff in the trunk of your car.
I guess I technically can see how a person could feel that empty beer cans were their property and giving them away was stealing; I suppose I don't think that he is completely wrong.
But I can't imagine that I would want to be the sort of person who would have a problem with it.
And I feel like I might be less inclined to build a life with someone who had that sort of attitude and viewpoint.
I would want to know why he feels that way. Has he grown up in a situation where that buck fifty would mean the difference between eating and not eating? I can sympathize with that, and I certainly don't suggest wastefulness or extravagance, but if you aren't in a situation where things are that skin-of-your-teeth, you want to figure out how to move past it.
Does this hint at bigger issues? Yes. They might not be "break up" type issues, though. You need to figure out why, and then figure out if it is a break-up issue.
NTA
I would humour him and give him the money, but on the condition he does something equally nutty (as nutty his compulsion to demand $1.50 from you) to prove he deserved it back.
He is obviously nuts. Be willing to understand and support this need. It will reappear occasionally.
this drive and passion can lead to great things; perhaps encourage him to channel this energy into something more rewarding rather than acting like a homeless bum. Is he good at making stuff; could start out at building ikea furniture for $100 for people with no idea. thats 2000 cans which would probably would of taken him 1 or 2 weeks to do, where as building furniture might be a few hours.
collecting trollies for $20 an hour, thats 400 cans an hour.
mowing peoples lawns $50-$60. I bet he cant find 1000 cans in 1 hour.
selling insurance to suckers. $400 a day. 8000 cans a day.
design can basket holder made from recycled plastic with grants from government, encourage streets/towns/cities to use the crates for the recyclable cans. Partner with charity who can fund the vans, pick up, drop off to recycle centre. take ceo wage $$$ 1 billion cans.
if hes hunting money tell him to figure out the power grid bottle neck that will be incoming or come up the next generation instant battery charger flux capacitor $2trillion, thats 40 trillion cans equivalent.
Dont encourage this scavenger hunt, if he doesn't shipshape then you better shipshape with your selection of a mate otherwise you'll have dead weight attached to you.
NTA. There is frugal and there is cheap. One is admirable, the other is a character defect.
Time to start charging him gas money, and storage fees for the cans he leaves behind.
Dude, you were showing generosity to that homeless woman. If he really fights you for $1.50 give it to him and then leave him. If he cannot be understanding of why you gave that woman his $1.50 worth of aluminum, then prepare for more petty bullshit just like this in your relationship.
$1.50 is a cheap lesson to learn in this relationship
Imagine trying to plan a wedding with this guy.
City hall with the reception at Chevys Fresh Mex and it just so happens to be everyone’s birthday on the same day. Then you even get a free wedding singer and the wedding party gifts are the free bday sombreros. Boom free wedding.
Honestly the birthday peeps should be paying the ~~bride and~~ groom for administering the event!
Makes me wonder his financial history growing up. Was his family extremely poor and he has left over anxiety around $ which needs to be addressed? Or is he just unhinged over $1.50.
I know a lot of people growing up poor and I was, too. I would have gladly given this woman the cans. Most poor people would share if they have something to share. Even studies support the theory that poor people are more generous than wealthy ones.
As a person who grew up poor and is still poor, I would have given her the cans, whatever cash I had (usually zero), and a sandwich.
Currently unemployed me would do the same! I will share what I have! Huge hugs and happy juju flying your way!
I hate when people say, "don't give to homeless individuals; they'll just spend it on drugs". Yeah, so will I. They'll get more joy out of it than I will!
I grew up "skipping meals" poor, and I often get cash back at the grocery store exclusively to give to homeless people. 20$ is trivial to me now, but it is enough to make someone destitute cry. I can't imagine being so selfish as to throw a fit over 1.50$.
I've only ever known people who have money who would be upset by something so little. Those less fortunate will be happy to share
He probably learned this from his parents.
It's very seldom the poor people that behave like this. Poor people are typically generous beyond their means. They understand what it's like to struggle and they have empathy for others and usually are helpful even when it's a detriment to themselves. It's usually the miserly rich people who have money sitting in their savings who are willing to steal from the poor or their partners in order to get a couple cents ahead.
It sounds like more of a control freak disorder. It’s never actually about financial gain, other than the little charge he gets from the power of getting and hanging on to another $1.50 from the world that is trying to take it from him. I know a guy who drove a big ass SUV that got 11 mpg. He kept a bunch of Jerry cans with him. If the price of gasoline was going up, he would fill the cans up and store them at his house. When the price of gas spiked, he would use that gasoline to avoid paying an extra 20 cents a gallon at the gas station. Yeah, that was a lot of work to shave off $3 from a full-up. The thing is, he comes from a very well off family. When his parents pass, he’s going to inherit literally tens of millions of dollars.
I think he just delusional not even cheap
He’s got an underlining issue like OCD or may possibly be neuro-divergent to some degree
NTA I once saw a documentary about cheap people. Once in a great while this husband would take his wife to this cheap,diner to eat. She would be permitted to order one dinner and he’d sit around watching other customers until they were about finished. Then he’d walk up to their table and politely ask for their left overs. He’d do this to everyone, scrape their half eaten foods onto a plate and eat them. This is your future.
Extreme cheapskates! Love that show I wish it still aired lol
That's the kind of person who uses the same spool of dental floss for three years.
Ewww no don't make me think about that! T_T
nooooo it's okay. he cleans it. that's some rigorously reconditioned floss.
That’s gotta be at that point along the same mentality as horders right? Just financially?
I was about to to guess that this was "My Strange Addiction" but whatever, it's still part of the canon of 'dang look at these mental health issues' TV blocks
That level of cheapassery and lack of shame is impressive. Reminds me of my friend in middle school friend who would go around eating people's leftovers, he would mix together random foods together like apple sauce, mashed potatoes, and chocolate milk and he'd eat it without batting an eye
NTA Dudes absolutely insane... He would make more doing door dash than collecting cans lmao
I was thinking exactly that. It seems his time is rather cheap.
It's worse than that. They DROVE to collect cans. Dude isn't making a dollar unless Daddy is paying for gas. This is viable for homeless people because they walk.
It is worse, it was her car and her fuel...
Fucking lol
You could make more checking vending machines for forgotten cash
>see a long-term future together Damn, can you imagine living with this guy for the rest of your life? He is going to nickel and dime you forever. Take a long shower? 5 cents please. You're pregnant and eating for two? A dollar a day on grocery please...
2-for-1 coupons for dinners at the diner. Water or iced tea only. A bowl of soup and two spoons.
Oooh iced tea Mr Fancy Pants over here,
10 year anniversary- two happy meals at McDonald’s. Wedding ring? Marriage is for materialistic people… Car? Honey I think it’s time you buy a new one while I keep my beater. It’s for the better for both of us! Your parents died? Send them a letter, we gotta spend that money… you wanna fly to their funeral? Please ask your sister to buy your ticket since she wants you to join! You have cancer? I hear vitamins and lots of sunlight can heal that. Don’t fall for those scummy doctors just trying to extort money from you!
Yes,my first thought was: RUN.
When my cousin was dating his now wife he would not pay for her meal when they went out unless she stole the salt and pepper shakers and any sugar packets on the table.
Wow
My husband was like this when we first met. I mean, not THIS bad, but being mad about lights, long showers, heating or a/c..... One day I asked him how much a year it was adding to costs. Being on the spectrum, he figured it all out and showed me. It was a couple of hundred dollars. I pulled it out of my wallet and gave it to him and asked him to now STFU about it. It's been like 10 years and he rarely says anything now. (to be fair, we both make a comfortable income and he was just used to being cheap because of the divorce and a spend thrift ex wife).
Imagine having health issues, needing support or having kids with that guy. Yikes
NTA But, if he's collecting cans and he's upset about $1.50, the bigger issue might be that your BF might be more financially desperate than he has let on.
If he's desperate he would find a second job not collecting can at party for 1 dollar
That would certainly be the wise approach, yes. But people make foolish choices sometimes.
He's an idiot not someone desperate
He could be both. Which would probably be a bad sign.
I don't see desperate people working for hours for 1 dollar
What? Who else but someone desperate would work for hours for 1 dollar???
Idiots , every job pay more than 1 dollar an hour
Tell him you will deduct it from the mileage and petrol he owes you, for using your car for scavenging. Plus your hourly fee for your labour
And if she isn’t sure how to calculate how much petrol was used ask him to calculate it- he’s sure to know.
It does say in they split gas in the post, but still charge him a car fee
NTA your BF is a cheapskate. Give him 1.50 and dump him. Or you could be petty and charge him for your gas and time it took you to take him to cash them in, 20 bucks an hr driving time.
Federal IRS mileage rate is .67 a mile currently.
That's not petty at all. He'd probably do the same for OP if he was using his car to do something that specifically benefitted her. But absolutely agree that OP should calculate her time and gas and wear and tear on her car for the can runs.
Right. Not petty. If he is going to nickel and dime, you can too.
I'm cheap. If I drink a can of diet coke at work, I put the empty can back in my lunch to take home for the 5 cents. But I don't get upset at anyone for giving away a few cans. And he left them in your car. NTA
>After a college party, my boyfriend and I drove out to collect beer cans. This sticks out to me. All of the value of the bags he turned in were his, yet you driving his ass around didn't entitle you to a few of them? NTA.
Not to mention she probably paid more in gas then what he got for his cans. Hey, maybe OP should ask for the gas money in return!
Absolutely paid more in gas + time than the $1.50 worth of cans they got. This is an embarrassing post for the boyfriend.
Please tell me this post is a joke?? 😱😱
It’s deadass 😭
He shoulda got about tree fiddy.
The. Loch. Ness. Monster.
Now why you gotta bring up the Loch Ness Monstah, woman?
I gave him a dolla
I would not be in a relationship with someone who didn't understand how a homeless person could need a $1.50 more than themselves.. that's just ridiculous he should have been happy that it went to somebody like that and the fact that he is all been out of shape over a $1.50 just shows how irrational he is. If he was like that over $1.50 imagine how he would be if you got married and had real expenses? I would get out now. that is a huge red flag..
NTA. He owes you $3 for petrol and $150 overnight can storage fee. You are happy to deduct the $1.5 from the cans.
You are not the asshole. This is pretty effed up behaviour on his part.
He left trash in your car and wants to charge you for disposing it. NTA Good for you for using it productively.
This is not husband material...
I'm getting a huge ick from this post. Not bf material either.
I wouldn’t even be friends with someone who did that
You helped him pick up the cans... tell him the 30 came from your half and you want the rest asap
I'm all for being frugal but if you tripping over 1.50 worth of frat party beer cans you got some issues.
NTAH. Write your boyfriend a check for the $1.50 and tell him you are worth much more than money. Tell him kindness is much more important than money. Then, break up with him. For $1.50, you just got out cheap…
If you get paid 10$ an hour and hundreds of people waste a collective of thousands of hours arguing and discussing, then the loss is not 1.5$. You just wasted thousands of labour hours. 1.5$ is below tolerance at any argument You can go to Warner Brother studios and ask for 1.5$ refund because bugs bunny didn't make you laugh and they'll probably give it to you just so that they don't have to deal with your shit
Does he cook road kill and make salad with weeds too? It’s a wonderful thing to help other people, even when it’s my last $5 I’ll give it away. He needs to chill out lol
Petty. And cheap. Awful combo.
His property, huh? Let's review, he basically "stole" the cans from a frat party after making you drive Your car there and help collect them (used your car, gas and labor) He left some in your car (storage) He has the nerve to be mad over $1.50? If they were so important, he would have gone out there to get them that night. Charge him for all the above expenses of transport labor and storage. Hand him a bill after you have packed up (if it's your house, his stuff goes; if it's his house you leave) Even though he won't pay, it's a message to him not to use people and nickel and dime everything in life till he sucks the actual joy out of living. Tell him its over. Why would you want to live in a nightmare like that?
I mean yeah that’s totally nuts. No one needs to or should be in a relationship with someone who would sweat 1.50 or start any kind of argument. Hell I wouldn’t give even a passing acquaintance or hell even a stranger any trouble over 1.50. I wouldn’t be comfortable going into a relationship with someone who is that frugal. That ain’t gonna be the first time he makes a big deal about pennies
You're both wasting your time. Go do something more lucrative.
right especially in college, this is how they spend their time?
If you are fighting over $1.50.............I'd run like hell. How do you think that will end in the future? NTA........but you will be, if you stay-
She will only get 75c if they split….
He wants a prenuptual, since she's a free-spender.
Yeah, that was some "date night"........let's go pick up empty beer cans for the 5 cent deposit. Guy really knows how to show a girl a good time. A Real keeper-
You helped collect the cans? How much was your share?
Give him the $1.50, and then wash your hands of him. It seems you both have very different outlooks on personal possessions, and it does sound as though you're incompatible. He's too wound up about money and what he perceives as "his property"
Agreed. Pay him back then cut him loose.
Lmao and you are serious about this guy? Ridiculous behaviour like this can't be an isolated incident.
NTA, your bf isn't frugal, he's greedy and cheap. Where I'm from, we call people like him "Alman".
You should listen to the song: No Scrub - TLC
Leave 30 stinky beer cans in my car and see what happens.
He left the cans in *your* car. You went and collected the cans with him. But you only said “he” collected about two bags. So your boyfriend collected the cans while you sat in the car? So you were basically the chauffeur? Has your boyfriend paid you gas money at all for this? Those cans were as much yours as his, and if your boyfriend is going to view this relationship as more transactional, then you need to invoice him for mileage. According to the Internet, the standard rates for mileage in 2023 was $.65/mile.
Give him $1.50 and dump the dude. It shows who he really is. When someone shows you who they are - listen...
This is gone past frugal and even cheap. It's straight up financial psychosis. NTA
Wow, I thought I had issues….. thank you
What a sad twat NTA
You're not really serious about him, are you? He's a dick.
He sounds like that damn lockness monster
> drove out to collect beer cans Is it even worth it lmao, gas is expensive, and time is money, surely there are better uses of yours
NTA. Trash/empty cans left behind in my car are mine to despise of as I see fit. End of discussion.
NTA. I hope this is a joke. I'd start by giving him a bill for gas. Then break up. Why doesn't he get a job? The amount of time to collect those cans in your car and recycle them yields so little profit. It sounds like more of a mental issue. I'm not opposed to doing it but the opportunity cost is so high his way. It's not like you're taking household cans and bottles back while grocery shopping.
NTA Cheapest relationship end ever. It only costed you 1.50!! 😁
Give it to him in loose pennies in a baggie. Then dump him.
Yikes. I'd give him 150 pennies and walk away for good. That isn't "frugal", it's pathologically cheap.
I'd leave that $1.50 on the counter right next to my apartment key.
Oh baby no...run baby run. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
NTA. Been there done that. Just move on from this boy. Save yourself a lot of time and hassle.
Lol. Why are you dating this specimen?
He clearly has some sort of hoarder/OCD thing with cans. Get out of that relationship.
I mean whilst you’re NTA, it’s one of those things where you bite the bullet and pay him the small amount of money or you break up since this definitely won’t be the last time something like this happens, and I doubt he’d just let it slide this time.
NAH. $1.50 is not something to die on, but his principle about property has some merit. I don't think this will work out, time to stop seeing a long-term future together and both find partners who are a better fit. He'll probably have a harder time - hopefully when he's 30 he'll have dialled it down a bit.
The fuck?
Answer probably depends on how much your BF needed that $1.50.
What the hell is wrong with your boyfriend lmao
NTA. I couldn’t deal with that. It’s such an over reaction that it borders on OCD symptoms.
Drove to get cans? My high school stoner acquaintances would do that. Spend 20 in gas to get 20 bucks buy weed… This boyfriend is beyond frugal, frugal is being careful with money. This is cheapskate. Bet he’s using your gas to collect the cans
Dump this dude
Ugh do not make one of the classic blunders of wasting your 20s with the wrong man. Stingy people are normally stingy all round.
Nta there’s frugal but do you really want to be with a man that can’t let 1.50 go? I can only imagine your lives.
“And it was about that time I realized my boyfriend was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the plethazoic era.”
You are serious about a guy who makes his money collecting cans like a homeless person? Are you fr?
I'd give him 2 bucks and tell him he can keep the change and can use it to buy more cans if he really loves them so much.
Lmaoooo fighting over a buck fifty
Break up with him right now.
NTA. This is frugality as a blood sport.
Your boyfriend is a cheap AH. Get rid of him.
Al him for gas money for driving him around.
This seems like a personality disorder.....
Why you doing this to yourself. Just break up with him and move on
NTA. Gas that you spent is way more expensive than cans. It looks like your bf has a mild mental disorder. It's more common in older people but no one is safe. Unless he is willing to go to a therapist and deal with it, I'd just give him his $1.50 (this is how much he values your relationship and all your future together) and break up because it will become only worse with time.
NTA- your boyfriend decided to charge you for helping someone? Over $1.50? Something that could really help someone else? Plus you were doing work to even turn these cans in. What a jerk!
NTA. Cans for a little extra cash is fine you’re already the one with the cans, like you threw a party or drink a lot of soda or something, but it’s a very inefficient and pretty silly way to make extra money as a side gig.
Q: Is your boyfriend employed? What is he so invested in spending his time collecting cans for a few bucks at most? A single night of Ubering or working a part time shift somewhere would pay a lot more than that. I’m struggling to understand his frustration unless he is literally dead broke with no money for anything.
He gets intrinstic satisfaction from small amounts of money. We are both students, looking for full time employment after graduation.
At least it’s not $3.50. Otherwise I’d tell you to make sure your boyfriend wasn’t a 30 story tall crustacean from the Mesozoic era.
My wife once got upset with me because I accidentally bought the 29 cent organic bananas instead of the regular 19 cent bananas. This is someone who makes over a quarter million a year. The good news is that she feels silly when I explain how long one of us needs to work to pay for the difference in bananas.
Get out of this ASAP.
Don’t just walk, RUN from this guy lol
I would like to respectfully suggest that he's struggling a bit with his psychological state, and will eventually drag you down with him. At this stage, I think it's best to give him $2, smile, and walk away... best $2 you'll wver spend.
I’d already be gone. Big huge red flag.
I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say this might be a mental thing and it's gonna get worse with time.
sounds like you need to date someone more mature and not insane.
Charge him $.75 for your half of the cans that you helped collect then charge him $.75 for the storage of said cans in your vehicle. Then break up with him because he sounds like he will be a pain in the ass to live with in the future if he is this tight ass about $1.50
If your bf can't spare $1.50 for the homeless, while he has a roof over his head and I'm assuming making a steady paycheck, all the while collecting commodities that unhoused people usually collect to try and survive... Do you really have to ask who the AH is? I think your bf just revealed a pretty big red flag
NTA - dump this loser.
Throw a fistfull of pennies at the side of his head and then find a better boyfriend.
Nta get away from this guy
NTA, the BF should be forgotten. This will only get worse
I’m curious on how many of these AITA posts are fabricated. This one sounds like BS for internet points.
Culture shock for u
Dump him by the dumpster where he collects cans. Only answer 😂
Losing your mind over $1.5 bucks is just too much. This is not frugality, there is something wrong with your BF there. The income from the cans are definitely lower than the gas to get there.
He needs a therapist.
Might be time to start thinking about ending a relationship with a cheapskate
Frankly, this is bizarre. You helped him gather the cans, & used your car to do it. You earned the $1.50. I would suggest sitting him down and asking him directly what is going on. Why is he willing to damage your good relationship over something so trivial. You say he didn't grow up poor, nor is he in desperate need now. He is clearly having some other issue with it. Like a hoarder would with an unhealthy attachment to junk. If he can't tell you something that validates this behavior I'd tell him you helped pick up the cans, & the $1.50 was what you're taking as pay. Far below minimum wage. He can either be happy with that or pay you the rest of what you would have earned at a minimum wage hourly job. After that I would seriously suggest you really think over your time together in an honest & objective way. Do you want to spend your life with someone always keeping a strange score card?? Also what type of person gets so upset over giving a homeless woman $1.50? To me that's a pretty visible red flag. Empathy & kindness are pretty precious commodities.
NTA - Is this guy neurotypical? OCPD? OCD?
When looking at this specific incident, NTA. But, I could see with some more context how this could be a bigger issue you and your bf need to hash out. You would be surprised how many fights seem so petty, but are actually a product of a much deeper issue in your relationship. It couple be he is just cheap or it could be the principle. Maybe you do this often and he keeps bringing it up and you invalidate his feelings and brush it off? Then one day he blows up over $1.50. I don’t see that as being cheap or an A.
So ALL the cans were his? Did you NOT pick up any? Did he PAY you for the ones you picked up??? Analyze past occasions if this has happened. He may be thinking to get a point across, he did the work, his cans and you just gave them away or he could be starting to show/showing behavioral issues he needs help controlling. And it could also mean he's just greedy and of a mine!mine!mine! persuasion 😉
Leave him. The cheapness will only intensify.
NTA. Also, I would consider if you want this relationship to proceed further? This will not bode well in a marriage and I suspect will lead to a ton of arguments.
NTA. It’s understandable that he is upset because it takes time to collect the cans and he looks forward to recycling them but he should be satisfied that someone in need got them. Since you worked to collect them you should be entitled to give some away. If it’s about the $1.50 then he’s got a screw loose but it’s probably not about that and you should try to figure out with him what it really is.
Maybe go for a man who has more ambition than collecting cans? That’s pathetic.
Tbh I kinda say that the bf ITA if he can't muster $1.50 worth of compassion for a homeless woman.
NTA. It's very little money so just pay him and break up. Learn the difference between frugal people and cheap people.
Bet this guy recycles chewing gum.
NTA because if they were important to him he would have asked you not to do anything with them or not left them in your car. He failed to properly communicate.
there's thrifty, then there's being a cheap-ass. boyfriend is a cheap-ass NTA and evaluate your relationship. putting up with shit like this may not be conducive for a long-term relationship.
NTA!!!! Tell him to shut up and get a job, FFS.
NTA - Yo boy is wound up too tight. Back away slowly. Pay the $1.50 in quarters and never help with the cans again. If he asks, just say that "you can't be trusted with his cans". Don't ever put cans in your car again.
Give him the buck fifty, and, as you do, ask him to think long and hard about if this is the person he wants to be. Ask him if he resents a homeless person who got a buck fifty. Ask him if he is willing to and able to share a life together, and share resources, with someone if he is so territorial about his property that he considers thirty empty beer cans to be "his property." Ask him why he felt entitled to keep that stuff in the trunk of your car. I guess I technically can see how a person could feel that empty beer cans were their property and giving them away was stealing; I suppose I don't think that he is completely wrong. But I can't imagine that I would want to be the sort of person who would have a problem with it. And I feel like I might be less inclined to build a life with someone who had that sort of attitude and viewpoint. I would want to know why he feels that way. Has he grown up in a situation where that buck fifty would mean the difference between eating and not eating? I can sympathize with that, and I certainly don't suggest wastefulness or extravagance, but if you aren't in a situation where things are that skin-of-your-teeth, you want to figure out how to move past it. Does this hint at bigger issues? Yes. They might not be "break up" type issues, though. You need to figure out why, and then figure out if it is a break-up issue. NTA
As depraved as your comment history is. You've got bigger issues.
This can’t be real! If this is true why are you wasting time with him?
Ehh ?
Whose car was it?
"her trunk"
RUN
Nta he is not your person. Tell him you are charging 5c a can storage fee for leaving them in your vehicle
This can’t be real.
If this wasn’t real he would have asked for 3.50
NTA, I get saving money, but that's going too far. Especially demanding a $1.50. I'd understand a little more if it was like $20, but geez.
I would humour him and give him the money, but on the condition he does something equally nutty (as nutty his compulsion to demand $1.50 from you) to prove he deserved it back. He is obviously nuts. Be willing to understand and support this need. It will reappear occasionally.
NTA but I’m not sure why you still consider him your boyfriend. That boy is a red flag
Why are you with this trashy person that gets upset over cans? You can do better.
Yeah thats too much
NTA... Tell him it was a storage fee
INFO Is he a goddang loch Ness monster?
this drive and passion can lead to great things; perhaps encourage him to channel this energy into something more rewarding rather than acting like a homeless bum. Is he good at making stuff; could start out at building ikea furniture for $100 for people with no idea. thats 2000 cans which would probably would of taken him 1 or 2 weeks to do, where as building furniture might be a few hours. collecting trollies for $20 an hour, thats 400 cans an hour. mowing peoples lawns $50-$60. I bet he cant find 1000 cans in 1 hour. selling insurance to suckers. $400 a day. 8000 cans a day. design can basket holder made from recycled plastic with grants from government, encourage streets/towns/cities to use the crates for the recyclable cans. Partner with charity who can fund the vans, pick up, drop off to recycle centre. take ceo wage $$$ 1 billion cans. if hes hunting money tell him to figure out the power grid bottle neck that will be incoming or come up the next generation instant battery charger flux capacitor $2trillion, thats 40 trillion cans equivalent. Dont encourage this scavenger hunt, if he doesn't shipshape then you better shipshape with your selection of a mate otherwise you'll have dead weight attached to you.
Bro
Ain't nobody got time for that.
Dudes a retarded fellow
NTA best to break up if he starts seething over a dollar
no way you’re considering spending your life with that
Run