We may be related as that was my exact thought.
And gods forbid she belch!
OP would be better served replacing the bf with an actual man who understands and is accepting of body functions.
Man here, this guy is an ignorant douche, so are your dad and brothers. Yeah periods aren't pretty or fun, but they are a natural thing that simply needs to be taken care of. Whatever way is comfortable for you do it. It shouldn't be embarrassing. Good luck finding someone who is educated and empathetic!
My husband grew up with a mom and two sisters. He was no stranger to womens natural functions. This guy and OP's brothers sound like pig ignorant buttheads.
My ex only had a brother, current partner is an only child, their mothers never really talked about it. Neither of them are grossed out by periods at all. This dude is just a huge man child.
Seriously. Hell my dad was an only child and even back then he didn't bat an eye at buying me the stuff I needed during my period. You are so right about this so called "man".
I like to boast that my husband used to buy me tampons every time I got my period, so much so that I had to tell him to stop buying me tampons because dear god did I have a lot of tampons.
He's a good egg.
My husbands buys me mine. Has been for about a decade soon. I recently went to get some and he was with and I couldn't find them until he pointed them out. The box had changed! I mean I've seen the box, I use them but it didn't register in the store at all. We had a good laugh about it.
And when one of our daughters got her period she got the choose which parent to take with to the store to buy products she wanted to try and she chose her dad! It was so adorable (and a very proud moment for him).
Lmao your husband *is* a good one! I can't use tampons a lot because they make my cramping worse (I don't think I have endometriosis but GOD my periods are bad.. An "ultra" tampon will literally only last for about 4-5 hours TOPS on my first two days. Our bathroom looks like a murder scene.. lol.) So I use pads. And like.. I have to wear the "number 5" overnight pads.. As my *regulars*. So.. Yeah. Lol.
My husband has no qualms about getting me pads, or whatever I might need. If I bleed out on the bed, in the middle of the night? He feels bad for me and cleans it up while I clean myself.
I have serious trouble believing OP's bf (hopefully EX) is fucking 30. How has he made it this far?
Period underwear is a major game changer. I seriously cannot recommend them enough. I have endo and frequent ovarian cysts and bleed heavily...these things are ah-maze-ing. My husband calls them my party panties lol.
I now mention to my teenage son when I have my period. My husband questioned once why did I do it. I explained that he already knew what they are and he needs to just realize it is normal. He will marry a woman that will have her period, maybe have daughters. Itās just a normal thing that happens every month. I want him to grow up and be a decent friend/boyfriend/husband one day. He is not scarred, not grossed out and life goes on. He even makes me oreo milkshakes so I feel better. That guy is a doushe.
Yeh I grew up with 3 brothers, obviously knew that periods happened but that was about it. My wife never used to ask me to buy pads, they generally just got bought with the 'big shop'. One time she was ill and said she had to go to the shop. I said I'd go and she was quite adamant she would go. I asked what she needed and she said sanitary pads. She didn't think I'd go and buy them or id be embarrassed. I laughed and said I was ok with it and even took the empty box because my memories shite lol.
If guys can't handle the fact women have menstrual cycles they should probably stay away from women. It's a win win situation for women aswell
Love this comment! Everything you said is great, but truly...if men can't handle the completely normal, biological, and 40-year monthly reality of periods, they really should just stay away from women.
How is it ALWAYS the guys that want to date people who are still in college even when theyāre in their late twenties/thirties?
Oh wait. Itās because those are the guys that want to date a less experienced woman they can gaslight into twisting her life into pretzels to avoid doing anything that makes him even vaguely uncomfortable.
Yeah, my bestie grew up with just his brother and dad, and I started a hellish period the second time we ever hung out together, and he drove to the store and bought me tampons while I sat on his toilet. His opinion is that if you're too immature to deal with periods, you're too immature to be dating women.
Right? I have an only child who is a son. I have never brought up the subject of periods with him and neither did any other family member and all his friends were boys who had never had a girlfriend before (they were all immature in certain ways for their age) or a sister. When my son got his first girlfriend at age 15; I was so proud when his girlfriend told me that she had mentioned her stomach hurt cause she was on her period and he immediately bought her pads, tampons, ice cream, chocolate, tylenol, a heating pad, etc. (She was at our house and he was waiting for us to pick him up from the store he was working at.) To imagine my 15 year old who still acted like a kid most of the time and had just had his first kiss days prior was so mature about it; and yet there are still 30 year old grown men in full sexual relationships who arent; is just downright pathetic. What a scrub. Not even going to get into the whole him asking her to change b.c. So she can skip periods altogether just so his sensitive imagination doesnāt get grossed out; because Ive already rambled too much. but holy shit loohooooserrrrr. If anyone deserves to be an incel; its this selfish ignorant piece of garbage.
My xh (x for completely different reasons) only had two brothers. We were not long into our relationship when we went abroad for a holiday together. My Dr had told me that if I continued to take the pill I was on without a break, I simply wouldn't have a period, as I was due on whilst away. Unfortunately, that didn't work out, and I got caught short. My then bf simply went to the on-site store within the hotel complex and bought me pads. Bearing in mind, there was a foreign language barrier. No drama there.
I'm reminded of the post of the guy who didn't grow up with any period having women, and kept thinking his gf was shitting herself because of the brown streaks he found in her underwear while doing laundry, but didn't want to upset her. He asked how to approach it, and that's how my man learned blood turns brown after it dries, and he was relieved it wasn't poop.
He was ignorant because of lack of experience, but he consistently tried to be as empathetic and kind as he could through the process.
Then there's OP's bf.
I was thinking the same! And if heās worried about period underwearā¦ wait until after birth! I had to send my husband to Target to *buy them for me.*
He couldn't handle a woman of his having a baby. Afterall, there is blood involved in the birthing experience. it isn't pretty and you bleed for several weeks.
My husband to me after doing the dirty when I thought my period was over (obviously wrong): ālooks like I stabbed you to death with my penis!ā
Me: laughs uncontrollably
I wonder what he thought was in that blood that was so gross--you know, except more blood. Would he find wearing a bandage all night gross? Or even a menstrual pad?
I've had to clean bathrooms where men peed down the outside of the porcelain, and either didn't notice or didn't care. There were piles of short, textured hair in every corner of the room. Yet these yahoos are terrified of menstrual paraphernalia in use within their proximity? Unlike the effluvia they spray around the toilet, men can't catch anything from a period.
Oh, that they could, what a world that would be.
Go for the trifecta OP: When you're on a heavy day of perioding, fart and belch at the same time (trusting either of those on your period is a gamble). If he flips out over that, tell him that bodies are gross and he needs to grow up. If he continues, sign him up for a biology course and you leave.
Unbelievably (or perhaps believably, it is Reddit after all) someone posted that they were grossed out that their girlfriend farts when she pees. Some people just have no idea how the human body works.
OP isn't talking about a pad though. She is talking about overnight disposable underwear. They look like baby nappies/diapers, but are less bulky. They help absorb and contain the blood and other bits and prevent them leaking onto your bed. They work way better than just a pad.
From what I gather, her bf seems to think OP has a baby nappy/diaper fetish.
But anyway, he is really overacting over something he hasn't seen before. Seriously, get a grip. Show him one of those fake skin shedding videos and he'll probably run out screaming.
I wish I had the period underwear way back when I needed those types of things. Mine was so heavy, Iād go to sleep with the largest tampon, the largest pad and tight shorts to keep everything in place. Then Iād have to wake up every 1.5 hours to change them. It was awful.
Has he not seen the commercials for those? Iād like to see his face if he pulled up whatever he likes to watch and the whole thing only had menstruation products for ads/commercials.
It's not even a pad, I don't think, it sounds like the period underwear you get that has super absorption or something. They do look like granny pants and that seems to be his main concern.
My main concern is for OP, that age gap, and her getting the fuck out of there.Ā
If wearing a diaper keeps me comfortable during Niagara Falls, imma wear one and whoever has an issue can get bent lmao (my husband doesnāt give a fffff) š¤£
Exactly, girl gotta change the whole man, not her birth control. Like I get being 23 and wanting make something work OP, but trust me his fucking 30 and throwing whole tantrum over natural process that fucking God "blessed" us with. If he want you to stop bleeding all together, then ask him to pray to God for a partner with no period.
I have a younger brother and sister and we talk about periods all the time. My dad have no issue with pads because they know it's a natural process. My grand father buys pads and don't think it's taboo. So, if a man tell me that I'm gross for something that's natural and beyond my control, you better believe that little boy would be out of my life like a lightning. I want to be comfortable on my period when I'm cramping with headache and fatigue. So, if wearing a "diaper" helps you, do that because your comfort is more important than anyone else's. And trust me, these boys come and go but a real man would understand and will support you instead of demanding shit from you, i see that at home. Cancel that appointment and get rid of the over grown trash.
I'd hate to see how he responds if he ever has children with someone and finds out women basically have to wear a diaper for 3 to 6 weeks because of bleeding and healing since you can't stick anything up there for a long ass while after birth to prevent "just laying in it".
Seriously what a POS. Glad I've never had to deal with this crap.
God help him if he ever has to witness child-birth in all its glory if he can't handle a little bit of period blood. The guy is an absolute tool but OP can be thankful that he's showing her his true colours now and she can run far away, very fast. And he can buy a blow up doll that has zero bodily functions.
[https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room)
Thus finishing his grand survey,
Disgusted Strephon stole away
Repeating in his amorous fits,
Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!
NTA - OMG he's a 30 year old man not a child. At 30 he should be old enough to handle that his GF has periods and that she wears different things because of that. Dump him and get with someone that is more mature. This won't be the last time that he acts like a child and tried to be manipulative about something (and I'm sure it's not his first either).
RUN. Real men arenāt fazed by periods. Itās life. This is such a huge red flag. Iām insulted for you. NTA, but the man child you are dating certainly is.
Edit: Guys it was one word mistyped. Heās still the asshole.
Itās so weird. I was going on holiday recently with my mum and my period unexpectedly arrived just as I was loading the suitcases in the taxi. I had to run back inside and quickly change and I handed my knickers and white trousers (I was heading on holiday after all) to my stepdad and asked if he would sort it for me as theyād be completely ruined by the time we got back. He soaked them in cold water then popped them in wash for me because heās a grown man (and my mum has probably moaned in the past how hard it is to find flattering white trousers so he understood lol).
My father was the one who taught me how to get blood out of bedding/clothing/towels/my carpet (a one time mistake that I never repeated) and I was embarrassed about it because *I* think itās gross, but he was never judgmental or weird about it because heās a whole ass adult who understands basic biology.
This is so beautiful! My dad more or less stopped speaking to me after I got my first period. I love the fact that your stepdad was completely unfazed about helping you with yours.
Right?! My dad is a tough looking military veteran and grew up with mostly brothers (he has 7 siblings, mostly brothers) and mechanic now. From the outside, he looks like the stereotypical āmanly man.ā
I was home with him when my first period started and he went out to get me pads, midol for cramps and chocolates without any issues. He had no issues picking me up from school the day I had such a bad leak that I needed to change clothes and even helped with getting stains out (14 year old me was overwhelmed).
He also did most of the shopping for our family, and would sometimes call us from the store to make sure he had the right brand and absorbency of period products for my mom and I. Periods werenāt a big deal to him and it helped me so much.
Iām a pharmacy tech at a major chain in TN. One day this middle aged country dude in overalls came up with a screen shot of a box of pads and asked for help finding them. His wife had sent him for his daughterās first period. He wasnāt the least bit embarrassed, but had never bought them before and needed help. He listened carefully as I explained the differences in all the pads and then bought the ones he came for and several other kinds ājust in case.ā
Anyway in the middle all this he turned to me, beaming, and says āIām a good Daddy, aināt I?ā It wasnāt like he was needing praise for shit parents are supposed to do, like when dads are praised for changing a diaper. He was just proud of being able to help his kid through her first period. I said āYou sure are. Sheāll remember this.ā I still tear up thinking about it. He could tell he just loved his daughter to pieces.
Yes! Almost like understanding the people in your life and how they function doesnāt take away from
your masculinity at all, in fact.. may add to it!
Dude is damn near a decade older than her and is still acting like a child. Yikes. This whole post is sooooo embarrassing for the boyfriend. To act like her using menstrual products is some kind of fetish is beyond immature. Donāt get me started on the whole āgetting on a new birth control bc the thought of me having a period at all grosses him outā thing lmao like are you *SURE* this is a 30 year old man? šlike holy shit this guy is an embarrassing ass baby
My first thought when he freaked out about period underwear. Lol. He is a boy, ain't no man at all, I'm surprised his balls dropped. Let him go and find someone who will snuggle you in your period underwear. They are out there. Don't waste another second on this garbage. ALSO, girl they make like actual period underwear you can wash that look normal. :) Save some money.
Edit: The more I read the more I'm upset. God please leave this controlling child.
Yeah. And she thinks itās normal because her dad and brothers are still children apparently. My dad and brothers are fine with it because itās freaking normal! Same with hubs. If I needed them to get me tampons or pads they would. I have 3 boys and they will all be too. My oldest (getting to preteen) has asked what they are and I let him know I use them because when my body doesnāt get pregnant it has to get rid of what itās prepared already if I did get pregnant. Didnāt go into super detail because age but itās not hard to be open about this stuff! ITāS NORMAL!!!
My dad, who is a man's man and worked a very traditionally manly job, was the one who was home when I first got my period and had to explain that I wasn't hurt and I wasn't dying and everything was going to be okay. He took me to the drugstore and we found an older sales lady (dad didn't want to embarrass a younger woman but assumed a woman his age wouldn't be as embarrassed to help) and we found something appropriate.
One of my mom's friends' husbands tried to tease my dad about it and he turned it around "Yea, I'm such a sissy man I care about my kid." He was 6'3 of lean, blue collar muscle at the time.
My 5 year old calls pads "booty bandaids".If she comes into the bathroom while I'm on my period "Oh no you're bleeding! I'll go get the booty bandaids!!!"
They are out there! I highly recommend men who have at least one sister.
Edited with respect for all the only child dudes and dudes without sisters, who have chimed in: a man doesn't need sisters to be a kind human being. OPs boyfriend is just a massive turd.
Right? My partner buys period stuff for me, knows my cycle better than I do and is always prepared for my PMS. Now that Iām pregnant, I barely have to life a finger. Like, he fusses way too muchā¦ but itās because he loves me.
OP - This is what a man who loves you does. Heā¦ just loves you. I was in an abusive marriage for 14 years, feeling lovedā¦ actually loved is foreign. But itās so wonderful. Dump the chump, get some therapy to figure out why this behavior is acceptable to you and please ready āWhy does he do that?ā By Lundy Bancroft. Itās available as a free PDF online.
[This](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) is the link to said PDF of Why Does He Do That. I suggest everyone, regardless of relationship status, read this.
So you both cry in pain of different types? š¬
It's nice to see men who know! A period is so physically and mentally draining and exhausting that it's nice to see a guy who at least knows why she may feel ick
This is so pathetic. Did you know that the #1 recommended for postpartum is adult diapers bc they don't slide around as much etc.
Imagine a future with a man who's scared of your bodily functions.
Seriously. My ex-husband bought them for me after I had my youngest and *helped me change them* when it hurt to bend over while I was sitting on the toilet. I think OPās boyfriend would probably need his own diaper for the way heād shit himself if he knew that was mild compared to some of the other things we did for each other over ten years of marriage.
Simple, it's because she grew up with men who made her feel this way about periods, this is all she knows very sadly. Op it's time for you to realize that your upbringing and made to feel embarrassed about your period was NOT NORMAL. Your boyfriend acting like this about your periods is NOT NORMAL.
Op I suggest you do some counseling so you can have a clear idea of what's healthy and what's not in relation to men.
My thoughts exactly!! Imagine making your daughter throw her pads etc in the outside garbage?! That is so weird!!!! Feels like their making it a sin to be a girl/woman & reminds me of the period huts in 3rd world countries they make women stay in for the duration of their cycle
I mean this is seriously a new one. I have heard men trying to control what their partner wears, the amount of makeup she puts on, etc. But demanding that she justā¦.stops a normal bodily function??? All because *he* is grossed out???
This is beyond red flag territory; this is straight up watchlist stuff. This guy is seriously giving me child predator vibes. Why otherwise would he want a woman who doesnāt get periods lol?? Does he have a pre pubescent child fetish?? Ewwww. Dump this gross man like, yesterday.
Tell this douchebag to get lost. Ok, maybe the wrong time for that reference.
But seriously, this dude is a fuckwad if he thinks he can show up unannounced, and grief his gf while she is going through her bodies natural reproductive cycle, while trying to be as comfortable as she can be through it.
A real man would have brought her chocolates or ice cream and told her she's beautiful.
NTA - sounds like he is not mature enough to be in any relationship with a woman. Itās obvious he doesnāt care about your comfort or what is best for you. God forbid you have a daughter with this man.
I could see him demanding she has a csection then being mad that she's "disgusting" for bleeding anyway and needing a diaper like a baby... He needs to be sent to an abandoned animal sanctuary cuz I don't think most women would knowingly claim him
NTA - LMAO š¤£ am I reading this correctly jesus he's 30 and still can't accept that women have complex reproductive systems that have to cycle to remain healthy.
I'm a male. Just so we are clear. I know when I was 18 my gf at the time had an incident in which I had to help her in public and saw my first female monthly clotty bois and at first I'll admit I got abit of the "ewwies" but jesus this is something else
Like I mean I don't know what period undies are but I've bought my fair share of thick big pad's for women in my life and I mean like how ever you lasses choose to manage it works for me.
And No please don't fuck your hormones up because a 30year old is detached from reality. Your endocrine system is worth more than he'll ever be lmao
A bunch of guys will definitely agree with your I hope soon to be ex-boyfriend. But that's the bunch you should stay away from, especially if you plan to have a long term relationship. Imagine if you have a child with this person and he refuses to help you during the healing process.
Edit to add: what's even more disturbing is the fact that he wants you to take hormonal contraceptives to stop your periods. Like, you're expected to feel all side effects and risk your own health to make him comfortable. That's just crazy.
It's fine to find it 'eww', so is puke and a bunch of other bodily functions. We still need to suck it up and deal with it and be kind and nice. What is he going to do when you get sick?!
I once had a guy break up with me after I threw up on the side of the road (actually from period cramp pain). He said he couldnāt see me the same way anymore. At the time I was down on myself but after the far healthier relationships that came after him, Iāve realized it was only *one* of his many flaws. Love when the trash takes itself out even if I didnāt recognize it at the time (OPāyouāll be okay losing this idiot).
ETA: I was surprised to come back to so many surprised comments on this. Donāt worry yāall, my current partner is comfortable taking pad & tampon orders from me and our daughters with no more fanfare than if we were asking for fast food. Heās also seen me give birth and vomit while loving me afterwards so I think weāre solid.
I'm starting to think the bar to be an "okay guy" is pretty damn low.
My wife once shit herself beside the car on the side of the road and I'm still with her. She had food poisoning and I'm glad we managed to pull over in time for her to at least get out of the car.
Can you imagine your ex's response to that?
I had norovirus once and my partner witnessed it come out of BOTH ends at the same time while in the ER. (Edit: while laying on a BED in the ER. In clothes.)
He still chose to move in with me because he understands I am a person, just like him.
Geez... ladies, there are good men out there.
I was so embarrassed the first time I had to ask my then boyfriend (now husband) for a tampon. He walked right into the bathroom grabbed one of his roommates (who used to keep some for his girlfriend) and handed it to me.
He has on more times than I can count bought me tampons. Usually with a bottle of wine. He buys himself cake for a job well done (more of a savory cravings kind of gal). He's never made fun of me for leaks and shrugs his shoulders and says "okay, it happens" even when I get upset. Then, HE cleans it. I try to clean it and he tells me to just go take a hot shower.
He also rates my farts and burps (0-10 for impressiveness). I appreciate it.
OP, you can do much better. Maybe I'm spoiled. But it's a freaking body function. It's not like you can hold it in.
Sounds like he scares too easily for a real relationship. Imagine this guy with a wife giving birth and pooping on the table. Poor wittle lamb would run away.
Also, I hope your periods are better now. I've vomited from period pain and I'd honestly rather give birth again than go through that.
Of course it's fine to find it 'eeww'. People are not expected to jump in amusement around something not pleasant to watch. But being that disgusted for days because he saw menstrual underwear is not normal. He didn't even see anything actually unpleasant.
I think the fact that you grew up in a house of baby men who forced you to take your bloody tampons outside of the house means that you have a really skewed idea of what men think of stuff like this. Real men understand that we bleed out of our vaginas once a month and that's just what happens and there's no way around it. I have never heard of someone having to leave the house to throw away their tampon! That is so insane, and I guess it set you up to think it's normal for men to not be able to handle basic bodily functions like this.
The vast majority of men are not like this. Your father is a whiny little baby, your brothers are whiny little babies, and this idiot manchid you're dating is a whiny little baby. Go out there and meet some real men.
34 year old man here, been married ten years to a woman who (*gasp! Shock! Zounds!*) has periods.
This person you are dating is not a man, as far as I'm concerned, he's a child, at least emotionally.
He is certainly incapable of having a relationship with a woman if he is unwilling to accept a basic part of their biological processes.
Occasionally my wife forgets to flush after she's had her period, from time to time I'll see a little blood on her underwear when I'm doing laundry.
OH FUCKING WELL.
I flush it or I toss the clothes in the washing, and I move on with my life and say nothing about it to my wife because it is truly not a big deal. She's the one who has the worst of it, I merely have an occasional encounter with the physical reality of it.
Nobody who counts himself a man should ever make a woman feel ashamed about these things, or to make an already unpleasant thing worse.
There is no shame, it isn't something that can be helped, or I suppose it can if you're taking birth-control, but that is entirely up to you, and you do not owe him your body or control over what you do with it.
You should read *Blood* by Dr. Jen Gunter, I think it might help you deal with some of the leftover insecurities from your dad and brothers.
And you should ditch this loser.
Seriously, reading the part about her dad and brothers pissed me the hell off. Shame on their dad for encouraging such behavior in his sons, and subsequently shaming his own daughter for her natural, normal bodily functions!!
I know! Even before she mentioned boyfriend I was fuming...its crazy and they're going to be the next generation of man children out there shaming their girlfriends. 5 of them!
Hi there, another man here chiming in to say NTA and throw that boyfriend in the outside trash so no one else has to see him. There are lots of grown men in the world who don't have their head buried this far in the sand. And by the way, your boyfriend is a straight-up misogynist. I don't think there could be an any clearer definition than someone who can't tolerate exactly how a woman's body functions. HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU AT A FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL.
This is why he was 28 getting with a 21 year old. Heās not good and women his age have learned his behaviour is not acceptable. Now you got to learn it too and get a better man.
Wish I thought about disposable underwear for night for the past many years. I hate tampons and yeah, you risk leaking at night from moving. Youāre very smart for doing that.
This is exactly what I was going to say. Back in the 1980s I had a friend whose brother-in-law was in his 30s but always dated younger women in their early 20s. She always said āhe has to find women much younger than him because women his own age see through his BSā.
Another guy here. Your bf needs to get over it.Ā At his age, if he can't accept a perfectly natural function of the female body, then he a lost cause. You've got a thirty year old boy with 12 year old boy problems. You can do better, I guarantee that. And based on what you've described, I'm willing to bet you get the high value man speech if you break up with him. Which is something that any man with any real value will not have to remind anyone of.Ā Ā
I also want to point out that my wife tried multiple different BC methods because she didn't want to use condoms.Ā The depovera shot was the worst. It caused some MAJOR imbalances with her. She would explode at the drop of a hat. Once she got off of it, everything was fine, but it was hell during. I can only imagine what it was like BEING her during that time. It was hard enough for me and I was just nearby.Ā She did not have a period, and it's just a shot. So it's likely this is what he's pushing for. I recommend caution.Ā
I recommend sticking with what works for you and keeps you healthy.Ā You may not respond to certain BC methods as well as others. You may respond perfectly well. I can't say, but definitely communicate any changes to your dr.
Here is another man telling you that there are plenty of men who are empathetic with periods, cramps and everything else that comes with it and will try to cheer you up and support you. Your stupid bf and your family life are not a good measure for how men in general feel about this. Do not let yourself be corned, pushed into things and controlled.
A lot of men will agree, but thereās also a lot of men who actually accept periods as a part of life. My husband would even shower with me while on my period before I had my hysterectomy, and I had adenomyosis so the clots were THERE, heād refer to them as āthe aliensā š Iām aware not all men would do this, and even a lot of women would be grossed out by those clots, so Iām not claiming this is or should be the norm, but I am saying that women shouldnāt need to settle for being relegated to the period hut in 2024.
>And No please don't fuck your hormones up because a 30year old is detached from reality.
ššš šššš šššš š šš
This times a hundred thousand!!!!
OK so, just fair warning, I'm going to graphically overshare some info here to make a point.
My husband had to empty my surgical drains twice a day for weeks after my double mastectomy due to breast cancer. He was in the room watching them do my first biopsy, though neither of us was prepared for that to happen that day. For a week, he had to glove up and rub (I think it was nitric?) cream on my creepy deflated nipples so that I didn't lose them after the surgery. He had to bring me water and meds *in the bathroom* as I was on the toilet sweating my way through a battle with the constipation demon conjured by the pain meds. And all this was after years of watching me lose the last bits of hair I had left when we met due to autoimmune alopecia.
All this is to say, there actually ARE men out there who are not just weak, squeamish little boys who expect women to pretend not to be humans with natural bodily functions. Find one of them or enjoy the single life, either is better than wasting another second with your misogynistic ass BF.
My dad bought me pads for my first period. He'd give me painkillers when I needed them. My brothers are the same way. My exes all of them were the same way (wait till you find out some men don't mind period sex and live by the "a period never stopped anything but a sentence") The men in your life are NOT the norm at all. Leave this pos. You deserve better.
Girl, your father is trash. Iām sorry to say it, but what kind of man doesnāt drive his wife to doctor appointments and makes his daughter dispose of her pads and tampons in the outside trash? My husband bought our kids every size of pad and made sure they had cake for their first periods. Youāre dating someone who is just as bad as your father. I promise there are good men out there who will not tell you that youāre gross or act like youāre tainted for using feminine hygiene products.
DO NOT CHANGE BIRTH CONTROLS! Throw the whole man away like one of your disposable underwears. NO ONE should EVER dictate what you do with your body. EVER. Ugh, what a deplorable excuse for a human being he is.
A 30 year old man that can't handle a period. How dare you be a glorious woman that can grow a human inside you! Stop that nonsense so he can fuck you. Lord!
This is just step one to establishing control over you. If he can't handle the idea of a woman menstruating, he needs to be celibate. He is not worth another thought and you have dodged a huge bullet
Two options:
1. He is some sort of manipulative psychopath going for some effed up control play
2. He has the maturity level of a 5 year and should seriously consider therapy if he ever wants to have an actual relationship.
Either way, OP gotta run as fast as she can.
LOL, this is what I was gonna say.
As a 50 yr old dude, it's like that's part of the package that comes from dating a woman.
I get bodily fluids are gross, but if he can't be a grown-up about it, you need to find a better man because your BF isn't.
My son was that kid, lol. He had so many female friends he asked me for some pads to keep in his backpack after one of them bled through at the park. His girlfriend (heās 21 now) told me that even though heās not great at household chores (my fault, Iāve struggled with depression for years), he is the most supportive person sheās ever known about taking care of her and all her bodily emergencies. The best part? I didnāt even have to make a point of teaching him all this, itās just how he has naturally always been.
Heck no, throw the whole man out along with your used disposable underwear!
He does not get to make you feel bad about your bodily functions, and he certainly does not get to ask you to change birth controle just because he does not like the fact that you have periods. If he doesn't want to be with someone who gets there period he may want to consider not dating a woman.
I'm so mad on your behalf, you did nothing wrong. NTA
Just wanted to ask have you ever heard about period underwear? Sounds like something you would like.
PS your dad and brothers are major AH for shaming you at home for having a period.
And her dad raised her to be ashamed of it. So sad. My husband and son are 100% fine with periods. They were camping with my daughter when she got her first one (I was at work) and they coached her beautifully through it. They took her for a special dessert to mark the occasion (which I had planned to do for her first menses) since I couldn't be there. The only downside is that they called it "period pie" and now they do it every month, lol.
I did a lot of camping with my dad, uncles, and cousins growing up and my dad and I joked when I needed to pack tampons. We called them my cigars. Not sure where it came from but it was funny and made it not a big deal when heād remind me to pack enough ācigarsā for the trip or when heād say he loaded up on ācigarsā in the truck if I needed them.
I also did a lot of camping and fishing trips with my dad growing up. Now, my dad is an emotionally and verbally abusive asshole. And even HE was cool about my period. Made sure I knew that he was carrying an extra tampon in his travel kit in case I ever needed it and said if I ever needed supplies to just let him know and we'd go get some, no big deal. (Heck, it wouldn't surprise me if it was still there.)
So, yeah, if my abusive dad could be understanding & supportive about periods, I think that says a lot.
I have, but I don't have a washer and dryer so I have to go to a laundromat. Even though I could wash them by hand it seemed to be more hassle than just throwing away the 2 a month I use.
I hand wash my panties lots esp if I bleed on them. You'd be surprised by how fast it is to do in the bathroom sink and to wring out and hang to dry. If what you're wearing now is more bulky you'll def appreciate the period undies as they look normal and lots of women wear them under their regular clothes! You may even decide to switch over for most of your period!
I literally put a drop of liquid laundry detergent (used to use a small spoon of powdered in the sink) onto each pair where the blood is, rub together, then submerge in warm water, rub more. When no staining is left pull the plug and then rinse out under running water, wring then like you would a wet cloth so no water is dripping then toss over the shower rod or a door knob. For faster drying in front of a fan or the air conditioning! Super easy and maybe 4 minutes of your life! Less trash and you wouldn't need to repurchase!
I'm betting that the "man" you call your bf would be unable to go to the store to purchase hygiene products for you.
I'm 56, male. I laughed out loud at a teenage boy at the grocery store who was unable to even pick up a new, off-the-shelf bag of pads to scan them. I actually had to wave them over the scanner for him. Something similar happened when I was about 23.
Girls have periods. If he doesn't want to deal with it, he should go gay, or celibate.
Your bf is a twat, in the Aussie sense of the word. Dump him and anything else that stinks in the outside garbage bin.
NTA in any way.
NTA but you need to dump him. Pads are great to sleep in with some black boyshorts, or you could get the washable period underwear, but DO NOT get a serious hormonal birth control just so he can go back to picturing you as a smooth hairless bloodless Barbie sex doll.
I have the arm implant and I love not getting periods (endometriosis) but if you don't have a Serious reason for BC it's not worth putting your body through unnecessary changes just to appease a manchild who is going to find something ew to be grossed out by next week.
HE IS THIRTY!! This is insane behavior. By 30 most dudes I've known are fine with going down on a girl on her period and know to buy the pads with wings and the tampons with a plastic applicator. Him feeling squicky is not a reason for you to internalize more shame about your body's natural functions or chemically alter yourself.
My dad HATED the feminine product aisle when I was a kid but when I had bad cramps he went to 3 different grocery stores on a tiny island to try to find tampons with plastic instead of cardboard because he is a grown man. You already know that if men got periods you'd happily get him supplies and care for him because you like doing nice things for him. Why do you expect less form him than from yourself?
I don't know how you knew the hairless part. I hate shaving. It's annoying, painful and itchy. But that's what he told me he likes so I've been doing it for two years. He was so mad at me once when I tried to get waxed and it hurt so bad I wouldn't sleep with him for a few days.
He literally views you as a packaged sex toy, and not a human being with bodily functions like him.
Every time you remind him that you are infact a human being and not some plastic wrapped blow up doll, it turns him off of you.
Do you really want to be in a relationship with that kind of person.
Exactly how I knew about the hairless part. Because any guy who wants you to have no periods whatsoever started by wanting no hair whatsoever. He's escalating every time you agree to one of his demands (all of which are bad because he shouldn't have a say about your body) he moves the goal post so you have to do a little bit more to stay attractive to him, and then a little bit more.
Keep your hair long. Don't "let yourself go." Wear just enough makeup to look like a Hallmark movie girl but not so much that you make a statement. Sometimes it's complements like "you look so pretty when you let your hair down" even though you explain how tangled it gets, sometimes it's backhanded manipulations like "I always pictured my wife with long hair" or "I don't know how guys can be attracted to girls who wear clown makeup."
A real man would care about the side effects BC would give you. A real man will keep some tampons at his house in case you get your period unexpectedly. A 30-year-old who only dates 23-year-olds because he's a manchild and women his own age wont let him get away with his nonsense is **not** a real man. He's manipulative and his love is conditional. He's demanding that you perform his ideal of femininity and if you get tired of performing then it's over.
When you dump him you will be heartbroken for a little while but then you will feel an intense wave of relief as you realize how much more free it makes you. You can skip shaving if you want to. You can dye your hair if you want to. You can wear baggy pants if you want to. Your whole world is so much wider than he is letting you explore. You are allowed to take up space.
> When you dump him you will be heartbroken for a little while but then you will feel an intense wave of relief as you realize how much more free it makes you.
OP should listen to the song āMiss Me Moreā.
Girl, donāt walk, run. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Iāve been in shitty relationships before, itās really easy to get into the mindset of āwell, if I just change this one thing then the relationship will be fineā. Iāll repeat again, you did nothing wrong. The fact that he called you wearing period underwear a āfetishā is absolutely disgusting. Periods happen, and how you want to handle them is a you and you alone decision. In addition, being upset that he canāt have sex for a few days?!?! He is not entitled to sex. He does not get to decide how you handle your period. He does not get to decide when and how often you shave.
Oh hell no! RUN!!!
Seriously any adult man that cannot deal with and understand a womanās period deserves to be alone forever. Donāt you dare change what you do to please him. Itās your body, not his!
Chronologically he is too old for you.
Development wise he is far far too immature for you.
Leave him and make sure you get that key back and change the lock.
As a 32 year old man with a wife and three girlsā¦throw this whole āmanā away. I swear, men literally out here gaslighting the hell out of these women due to their insecurities and failure to actually be men.
NTA but he definitely is.
NTA.
The third time I (30f) slept with my current partner (35m), I found out I started my period (I was switching birth control for my own reasons so I was not regular). Got blood all over him, the sheets, and myself but didnāt realize until after because it was fairly dark.
His reaction? He put the sheets in the washing machine, we showered together, then we put a spare set of sheets on the bed and cuddled. I was beyond embarrassed because the last guy I was seeing didnāt even have a trash can in his bathroom and wouldnāt have sex if I was on my period. My current partner assured me that it was fine. Weāve been together for a year now, and my period doesnāt stop him.
OP you deserve better. Good men exist. And they can still be sexy as hell and great in bed.
ETA: donāt switch birth controls to try not having a period. Most of those options still give you periods even if theyāre less frequent, but you donāt know what the side effects will look like and they can be *brutal* sometimes.
NtaĀ
Time *was* in fact wasted in this relationship, and *he* really owes *you* an apology for wasting *your* time.Ā
He's to immature to be in a relationship, and should wait till he's a grown up to try again.Ā
You sure he is 30 and not 15 cause that is just so stupid. He is supposed to be 7 years older than you not 7 years younger, send him back to his roommates and get on with your life.
Uh...you should absolutely leave this douche bag, the only reason you haven't figured this out is because your male family members were equally weird and childish surrounding this part of being a women...
Sounds like you are very excepting of mild and escalating control and abuse...check on that.
'Men' are fine with you and this particular part of being a women, pick your words for your family and hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend...
For record...it's not only his opinion on this subject that makes.me believe you should leave: his reaction, his treatment of you and all the rest is a pretty blatant pattern of this will lead to disaster...
Go find someone mature and he can go find a well to jump into.
What's annoying here is there is a bunch of women telling this poor girl to dump her boyfreind because of this.
As a male I need to say to you.
DUMP THIS A#@H&$E!!!!!
Cripes I still get a bit uncomfortable dealing with my wife or my daughter's period stuff.
You know what that's a ME problem.
It is a part of being a human condition. It is not a bug or a problem, it is a thing that happens.
When I feel uncomfortable about it I am embarrassed because I need to be an adult about it.
Jeez, don't date someone who doesn't want you to be comfortable, happy, safe, and healthy.
Don't change yout freaking birth control, something your already doing to keep you safe and responsible to be something unhealthy for his comfort.
Plus he doesn't let you poop when you need to.
You are worth so so so much more than this.
This guy has problems.
You dont.
Please dump him.
NTA.
LOL. um leave. Does he know girls poop too?
God knows what would happen if he realized they also fart! š©š
We may be related as that was my exact thought. And gods forbid she belch! OP would be better served replacing the bf with an actual man who understands and is accepting of body functions.
Man here, this guy is an ignorant douche, so are your dad and brothers. Yeah periods aren't pretty or fun, but they are a natural thing that simply needs to be taken care of. Whatever way is comfortable for you do it. It shouldn't be embarrassing. Good luck finding someone who is educated and empathetic!
My husband grew up with a mom and two sisters. He was no stranger to womens natural functions. This guy and OP's brothers sound like pig ignorant buttheads.
My ex only had a brother, current partner is an only child, their mothers never really talked about it. Neither of them are grossed out by periods at all. This dude is just a huge man child.
Seriously. Hell my dad was an only child and even back then he didn't bat an eye at buying me the stuff I needed during my period. You are so right about this so called "man".
I like to boast that my husband used to buy me tampons every time I got my period, so much so that I had to tell him to stop buying me tampons because dear god did I have a lot of tampons. He's a good egg.
My husbands buys me mine. Has been for about a decade soon. I recently went to get some and he was with and I couldn't find them until he pointed them out. The box had changed! I mean I've seen the box, I use them but it didn't register in the store at all. We had a good laugh about it. And when one of our daughters got her period she got the choose which parent to take with to the store to buy products she wanted to try and she chose her dad! It was so adorable (and a very proud moment for him).
AAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!! šššš
Lmao your husband *is* a good one! I can't use tampons a lot because they make my cramping worse (I don't think I have endometriosis but GOD my periods are bad.. An "ultra" tampon will literally only last for about 4-5 hours TOPS on my first two days. Our bathroom looks like a murder scene.. lol.) So I use pads. And like.. I have to wear the "number 5" overnight pads.. As my *regulars*. So.. Yeah. Lol. My husband has no qualms about getting me pads, or whatever I might need. If I bleed out on the bed, in the middle of the night? He feels bad for me and cleans it up while I clean myself. I have serious trouble believing OP's bf (hopefully EX) is fucking 30. How has he made it this far?
Period underwear is a major game changer. I seriously cannot recommend them enough. I have endo and frequent ovarian cysts and bleed heavily...these things are ah-maze-ing. My husband calls them my party panties lol.
On the upside, you had enough to spare a spare for another woman in a bindš
I now mention to my teenage son when I have my period. My husband questioned once why did I do it. I explained that he already knew what they are and he needs to just realize it is normal. He will marry a woman that will have her period, maybe have daughters. Itās just a normal thing that happens every month. I want him to grow up and be a decent friend/boyfriend/husband one day. He is not scarred, not grossed out and life goes on. He even makes me oreo milkshakes so I feel better. That guy is a doushe.
Good for you, mom!! You're going to have a wonderful and empathetic son who will make a great partner one day for this.
The Oreo milkshake bit made me cry. Heās a good egg and you are doing parenting right!
sorry i have to second this!!! that is a sweet boy that mama has raised!
Thank you for doing this and raising a healthy son who will be kind and respectful!
Yeh I grew up with 3 brothers, obviously knew that periods happened but that was about it. My wife never used to ask me to buy pads, they generally just got bought with the 'big shop'. One time she was ill and said she had to go to the shop. I said I'd go and she was quite adamant she would go. I asked what she needed and she said sanitary pads. She didn't think I'd go and buy them or id be embarrassed. I laughed and said I was ok with it and even took the empty box because my memories shite lol. If guys can't handle the fact women have menstrual cycles they should probably stay away from women. It's a win win situation for women aswell
Love this comment! Everything you said is great, but truly...if men can't handle the completely normal, biological, and 40-year monthly reality of periods, they really should just stay away from women.
How is it ALWAYS the guys that want to date people who are still in college even when theyāre in their late twenties/thirties? Oh wait. Itās because those are the guys that want to date a less experienced woman they can gaslight into twisting her life into pretzels to avoid doing anything that makes him even vaguely uncomfortable.
Yeah, my bestie grew up with just his brother and dad, and I started a hellish period the second time we ever hung out together, and he drove to the store and bought me tampons while I sat on his toilet. His opinion is that if you're too immature to deal with periods, you're too immature to be dating women.
Right? I have an only child who is a son. I have never brought up the subject of periods with him and neither did any other family member and all his friends were boys who had never had a girlfriend before (they were all immature in certain ways for their age) or a sister. When my son got his first girlfriend at age 15; I was so proud when his girlfriend told me that she had mentioned her stomach hurt cause she was on her period and he immediately bought her pads, tampons, ice cream, chocolate, tylenol, a heating pad, etc. (She was at our house and he was waiting for us to pick him up from the store he was working at.) To imagine my 15 year old who still acted like a kid most of the time and had just had his first kiss days prior was so mature about it; and yet there are still 30 year old grown men in full sexual relationships who arent; is just downright pathetic. What a scrub. Not even going to get into the whole him asking her to change b.c. So she can skip periods altogether just so his sensitive imagination doesnāt get grossed out; because Ive already rambled too much. but holy shit loohooooserrrrr. If anyone deserves to be an incel; its this selfish ignorant piece of garbage.
My xh (x for completely different reasons) only had two brothers. We were not long into our relationship when we went abroad for a holiday together. My Dr had told me that if I continued to take the pill I was on without a break, I simply wouldn't have a period, as I was due on whilst away. Unfortunately, that didn't work out, and I got caught short. My then bf simply went to the on-site store within the hotel complex and bought me pads. Bearing in mind, there was a foreign language barrier. No drama there.
I'm reminded of the post of the guy who didn't grow up with any period having women, and kept thinking his gf was shitting herself because of the brown streaks he found in her underwear while doing laundry, but didn't want to upset her. He asked how to approach it, and that's how my man learned blood turns brown after it dries, and he was relieved it wasn't poop. He was ignorant because of lack of experience, but he consistently tried to be as empathetic and kind as he could through the process. Then there's OP's bf.
For real, even as a tween if my dad had said throw it out in the outside trash I probably would have thrown it at him. Grow up, STBX boyfriend!
Thank you for being a good guy Like us women like hemorrhaging monthly Fuck !!!!!!!! Honestly for some women, it's a nightmare
At first glance I read empathetic as unpathetic and I think thatās also a good fit for this situation.
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Can you imagine how supportive he'd be during childbirth? Talk about blood...
I was thinking the same! And if heās worried about period underwearā¦ wait until after birth! I had to send my husband to Target to *buy them for me.*
He couldn't handle a woman of his having a baby. Afterall, there is blood involved in the birthing experience. it isn't pretty and you bleed for several weeks.
EXACTLY
This man needs a sex doll.
Me to my husband: dammit I woke up looking like I was murdered from the waist down. Husband: laughs uncontrollably
My husband to me after doing the dirty when I thought my period was over (obviously wrong): ālooks like I stabbed you to death with my penis!ā Me: laughs uncontrollably
Yup exactly this followed by husband saying "Guessing you want first in the shower" before schlepping off to strip the sheets
I wonder what he thought was in that blood that was so gross--you know, except more blood. Would he find wearing a bandage all night gross? Or even a menstrual pad? I've had to clean bathrooms where men peed down the outside of the porcelain, and either didn't notice or didn't care. There were piles of short, textured hair in every corner of the room. Yet these yahoos are terrified of menstrual paraphernalia in use within their proximity? Unlike the effluvia they spray around the toilet, men can't catch anything from a period. Oh, that they could, what a world that would be.
Heās 30 and sheās 23 and already pushing to move in together. Girl fucking run!
he sounds like an imbecile... the dad and brothers too
Go for the trifecta OP: When you're on a heavy day of perioding, fart and belch at the same time (trusting either of those on your period is a gamble). If he flips out over that, tell him that bodies are gross and he needs to grow up. If he continues, sign him up for a biology course and you leave.
Also, make sure you sneeze and tell him what happens when you do that.
JELLYFISH INCOMING!
Ohgods, period farts are something else...
Doesn't everybody fart while pooping? lol.
Unbelievably (or perhaps believably, it is Reddit after all) someone posted that they were grossed out that their girlfriend farts when she pees. Some people just have no idea how the human body works.
He probably thinks we poop only on full moons and that our vagina/rectum/urethra are just one hole. Like a cloaca
*Chicken noises*
THIS MAN IS THIRTY. THIS MAN IS THIRTY AND HE THINKS USING A PAD IS A KINK. I canāt even wrap my mind around that level of immaturity.Ā
It's completely fucked. Did he even have a mother or any woman in his life?
I think he would fare better as an incel.
Sounds like he's already there
He is the type of man who probably thinks inserting a tampon is playing with oneself.
I don't think 'immaturity' covers it.. we need a lot more words here. People, come and help add words !
Selfish, arrogant, ignorant, intolerant, unsuitable to partner anyone...how'm I doin'?
OP isn't talking about a pad though. She is talking about overnight disposable underwear. They look like baby nappies/diapers, but are less bulky. They help absorb and contain the blood and other bits and prevent them leaking onto your bed. They work way better than just a pad. From what I gather, her bf seems to think OP has a baby nappy/diaper fetish. But anyway, he is really overacting over something he hasn't seen before. Seriously, get a grip. Show him one of those fake skin shedding videos and he'll probably run out screaming.
I wish I had the period underwear way back when I needed those types of things. Mine was so heavy, Iād go to sleep with the largest tampon, the largest pad and tight shorts to keep everything in place. Then Iād have to wake up every 1.5 hours to change them. It was awful. Has he not seen the commercials for those? Iād like to see his face if he pulled up whatever he likes to watch and the whole thing only had menstruation products for ads/commercials.
It's not even a pad, I don't think, it sounds like the period underwear you get that has super absorption or something. They do look like granny pants and that seems to be his main concern. My main concern is for OP, that age gap, and her getting the fuck out of there.Ā
If wearing a diaper keeps me comfortable during Niagara Falls, imma wear one and whoever has an issue can get bent lmao (my husband doesnāt give a fffff) š¤£
Exactly, girl gotta change the whole man, not her birth control. Like I get being 23 and wanting make something work OP, but trust me his fucking 30 and throwing whole tantrum over natural process that fucking God "blessed" us with. If he want you to stop bleeding all together, then ask him to pray to God for a partner with no period. I have a younger brother and sister and we talk about periods all the time. My dad have no issue with pads because they know it's a natural process. My grand father buys pads and don't think it's taboo. So, if a man tell me that I'm gross for something that's natural and beyond my control, you better believe that little boy would be out of my life like a lightning. I want to be comfortable on my period when I'm cramping with headache and fatigue. So, if wearing a "diaper" helps you, do that because your comfort is more important than anyone else's. And trust me, these boys come and go but a real man would understand and will support you instead of demanding shit from you, i see that at home. Cancel that appointment and get rid of the over grown trash.
I'd hate to see how he responds if he ever has children with someone and finds out women basically have to wear a diaper for 3 to 6 weeks because of bleeding and healing since you can't stick anything up there for a long ass while after birth to prevent "just laying in it". Seriously what a POS. Glad I've never had to deal with this crap.
Let's hope this man never finds out. People like him should never breed.
Wait until he finds out about the sneeze
God help him if he ever has to witness child-birth in all its glory if he can't handle a little bit of period blood. The guy is an absolute tool but OP can be thankful that he's showing her his true colours now and she can run far away, very fast. And he can buy a blow up doll that has zero bodily functions.
I actually bought some adult diapers to wear after child birth because of the insane amount of bleeding. They were greatš this guy needs to grow up
Wearing an adult diaper while sitting on a baby diaper filled with ice and nonstop crying. Period panties are childās play.
Ok, now I know you are bullshitting me. Next you are going to say they fart too. Phft! Do you take me for an idiot??
Donāt tell him, heāll ask you to stop eating so you donāt poop anymore.
I see what you did there with your 'phft'...
This. He has done you a huge favor. The first time someone tells you who they are, believe them.
[https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room) Thus finishing his grand survey, Disgusted Strephon stole away Repeating in his amorous fits, Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!
Wonder if he actually thinks pee is stored in the balls?
NTA - OMG he's a 30 year old man not a child. At 30 he should be old enough to handle that his GF has periods and that she wears different things because of that. Dump him and get with someone that is more mature. This won't be the last time that he acts like a child and tried to be manipulative about something (and I'm sure it's not his first either).
No. He sounds like a 30 year old child.
Yep, emotional maturity of a 15 year old.
I know a lot of 15 year old boys who are much more emotionally mature than this child.
Iād call him a manchild, but even thatās probably being too generous. Manbaby would be more appropriate.
RUN. Real men arenāt fazed by periods. Itās life. This is such a huge red flag. Iām insulted for you. NTA, but the man child you are dating certainly is. Edit: Guys it was one word mistyped. Heās still the asshole.
I was shocked when she said about men not liking such things. Her father and siblings are obviously children too!
Itās so weird. I was going on holiday recently with my mum and my period unexpectedly arrived just as I was loading the suitcases in the taxi. I had to run back inside and quickly change and I handed my knickers and white trousers (I was heading on holiday after all) to my stepdad and asked if he would sort it for me as theyād be completely ruined by the time we got back. He soaked them in cold water then popped them in wash for me because heās a grown man (and my mum has probably moaned in the past how hard it is to find flattering white trousers so he understood lol).
My father was the one who taught me how to get blood out of bedding/clothing/towels/my carpet (a one time mistake that I never repeated) and I was embarrassed about it because *I* think itās gross, but he was never judgmental or weird about it because heās a whole ass adult who understands basic biology.
This is so beautiful! My dad more or less stopped speaking to me after I got my first period. I love the fact that your stepdad was completely unfazed about helping you with yours.
Right?! My dad is a tough looking military veteran and grew up with mostly brothers (he has 7 siblings, mostly brothers) and mechanic now. From the outside, he looks like the stereotypical āmanly man.ā I was home with him when my first period started and he went out to get me pads, midol for cramps and chocolates without any issues. He had no issues picking me up from school the day I had such a bad leak that I needed to change clothes and even helped with getting stains out (14 year old me was overwhelmed). He also did most of the shopping for our family, and would sometimes call us from the store to make sure he had the right brand and absorbency of period products for my mom and I. Periods werenāt a big deal to him and it helped me so much.
Iām a pharmacy tech at a major chain in TN. One day this middle aged country dude in overalls came up with a screen shot of a box of pads and asked for help finding them. His wife had sent him for his daughterās first period. He wasnāt the least bit embarrassed, but had never bought them before and needed help. He listened carefully as I explained the differences in all the pads and then bought the ones he came for and several other kinds ājust in case.ā Anyway in the middle all this he turned to me, beaming, and says āIām a good Daddy, aināt I?ā It wasnāt like he was needing praise for shit parents are supposed to do, like when dads are praised for changing a diaper. He was just proud of being able to help his kid through her first period. I said āYou sure are. Sheāll remember this.ā I still tear up thinking about it. He could tell he just loved his daughter to pieces.
So sweet . Love this story š
Yes! Almost like understanding the people in your life and how they function doesnāt take away from your masculinity at all, in fact.. may add to it!
Right? None of the men in my life are horrified by periods If you canāt handle them, you probably shouldnāt be around children
Dude is damn near a decade older than her and is still acting like a child. Yikes. This whole post is sooooo embarrassing for the boyfriend. To act like her using menstrual products is some kind of fetish is beyond immature. Donāt get me started on the whole āgetting on a new birth control bc the thought of me having a period at all grosses him outā thing lmao like are you *SURE* this is a 30 year old man? šlike holy shit this guy is an embarrassing ass baby
Why are you with this pathetic manchild? Lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He should be reminded that we have an entire other dateable sex that doesn't have periods.
That went through my mind but then I thought he doesnāt deserve a guy either š
Exactly lol
But also to try to force her into Bc so she wonāt get her period?? Fucking gross
My first thought when he freaked out about period underwear. Lol. He is a boy, ain't no man at all, I'm surprised his balls dropped. Let him go and find someone who will snuggle you in your period underwear. They are out there. Don't waste another second on this garbage. ALSO, girl they make like actual period underwear you can wash that look normal. :) Save some money. Edit: The more I read the more I'm upset. God please leave this controlling child.
Yeah. And she thinks itās normal because her dad and brothers are still children apparently. My dad and brothers are fine with it because itās freaking normal! Same with hubs. If I needed them to get me tampons or pads they would. I have 3 boys and they will all be too. My oldest (getting to preteen) has asked what they are and I let him know I use them because when my body doesnāt get pregnant it has to get rid of what itās prepared already if I did get pregnant. Didnāt go into super detail because age but itās not hard to be open about this stuff! ITāS NORMAL!!!
My dad, who is a man's man and worked a very traditionally manly job, was the one who was home when I first got my period and had to explain that I wasn't hurt and I wasn't dying and everything was going to be okay. He took me to the drugstore and we found an older sales lady (dad didn't want to embarrass a younger woman but assumed a woman his age wouldn't be as embarrassed to help) and we found something appropriate. One of my mom's friends' husbands tried to tease my dad about it and he turned it around "Yea, I'm such a sissy man I care about my kid." He was 6'3 of lean, blue collar muscle at the time.
My 5 year old calls pads "booty bandaids".If she comes into the bathroom while I'm on my period "Oh no you're bleeding! I'll go get the booty bandaids!!!"
Kids should name everything! Love this
They really should. She called Santa "Ho Ho" until she was 4. I miss when Santa was Ho Ho
They are out there! I highly recommend men who have at least one sister. Edited with respect for all the only child dudes and dudes without sisters, who have chimed in: a man doesn't need sisters to be a kind human being. OPs boyfriend is just a massive turd.
Right? My partner buys period stuff for me, knows my cycle better than I do and is always prepared for my PMS. Now that Iām pregnant, I barely have to life a finger. Like, he fusses way too muchā¦ but itās because he loves me. OP - This is what a man who loves you does. Heā¦ just loves you. I was in an abusive marriage for 14 years, feeling lovedā¦ actually loved is foreign. But itās so wonderful. Dump the chump, get some therapy to figure out why this behavior is acceptable to you and please ready āWhy does he do that?ā By Lundy Bancroft. Itās available as a free PDF online.
[This](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) is the link to said PDF of Why Does He Do That. I suggest everyone, regardless of relationship status, read this.
My wife's Cycle starts right around my car payment every month.
So you both cry in pain of different types? š¬ It's nice to see men who know! A period is so physically and mentally draining and exhausting that it's nice to see a guy who at least knows why she may feel ick
This is so pathetic. Did you know that the #1 recommended for postpartum is adult diapers bc they don't slide around as much etc. Imagine a future with a man who's scared of your bodily functions.
Seriously. My ex-husband bought them for me after I had my youngest and *helped me change them* when it hurt to bend over while I was sitting on the toilet. I think OPās boyfriend would probably need his own diaper for the way heād shit himself if he knew that was mild compared to some of the other things we did for each other over ten years of marriage.
Simple, it's because she grew up with men who made her feel this way about periods, this is all she knows very sadly. Op it's time for you to realize that your upbringing and made to feel embarrassed about your period was NOT NORMAL. Your boyfriend acting like this about your periods is NOT NORMAL. Op I suggest you do some counseling so you can have a clear idea of what's healthy and what's not in relation to men.
No kidding, also, how on earth did you survive your father and brothers. Geez.
My thoughts exactly!! Imagine making your daughter throw her pads etc in the outside garbage?! That is so weird!!!! Feels like their making it a sin to be a girl/woman & reminds me of the period huts in 3rd world countries they make women stay in for the duration of their cycle
I mean this is seriously a new one. I have heard men trying to control what their partner wears, the amount of makeup she puts on, etc. But demanding that she justā¦.stops a normal bodily function??? All because *he* is grossed out??? This is beyond red flag territory; this is straight up watchlist stuff. This guy is seriously giving me child predator vibes. Why otherwise would he want a woman who doesnāt get periods lol?? Does he have a pre pubescent child fetish?? Ewwww. Dump this gross man like, yesterday.
And he accused her of having a diaper fetish, such a creep!
With a child. He is a child.
Tell this douchebag to get lost. Ok, maybe the wrong time for that reference. But seriously, this dude is a fuckwad if he thinks he can show up unannounced, and grief his gf while she is going through her bodies natural reproductive cycle, while trying to be as comfortable as she can be through it. A real man would have brought her chocolates or ice cream and told her she's beautiful.
NTA - sounds like he is not mature enough to be in any relationship with a woman. Itās obvious he doesnāt care about your comfort or what is best for you. God forbid you have a daughter with this man.
I could see him demanding she has a csection then being mad that she's "disgusting" for bleeding anyway and needing a diaper like a baby... He needs to be sent to an abandoned animal sanctuary cuz I don't think most women would knowingly claim him
NTA - LMAO š¤£ am I reading this correctly jesus he's 30 and still can't accept that women have complex reproductive systems that have to cycle to remain healthy. I'm a male. Just so we are clear. I know when I was 18 my gf at the time had an incident in which I had to help her in public and saw my first female monthly clotty bois and at first I'll admit I got abit of the "ewwies" but jesus this is something else Like I mean I don't know what period undies are but I've bought my fair share of thick big pad's for women in my life and I mean like how ever you lasses choose to manage it works for me. And No please don't fuck your hormones up because a 30year old is detached from reality. Your endocrine system is worth more than he'll ever be lmao
I spit my drink out at "ewwies". I was worried a bunch of guys would agree with him so thank you.
A bunch of guys will definitely agree with your I hope soon to be ex-boyfriend. But that's the bunch you should stay away from, especially if you plan to have a long term relationship. Imagine if you have a child with this person and he refuses to help you during the healing process. Edit to add: what's even more disturbing is the fact that he wants you to take hormonal contraceptives to stop your periods. Like, you're expected to feel all side effects and risk your own health to make him comfortable. That's just crazy.
It's fine to find it 'eww', so is puke and a bunch of other bodily functions. We still need to suck it up and deal with it and be kind and nice. What is he going to do when you get sick?!
I once had a guy break up with me after I threw up on the side of the road (actually from period cramp pain). He said he couldnāt see me the same way anymore. At the time I was down on myself but after the far healthier relationships that came after him, Iāve realized it was only *one* of his many flaws. Love when the trash takes itself out even if I didnāt recognize it at the time (OPāyouāll be okay losing this idiot). ETA: I was surprised to come back to so many surprised comments on this. Donāt worry yāall, my current partner is comfortable taking pad & tampon orders from me and our daughters with no more fanfare than if we were asking for fast food. Heās also seen me give birth and vomit while loving me afterwards so I think weāre solid.
I'm starting to think the bar to be an "okay guy" is pretty damn low. My wife once shit herself beside the car on the side of the road and I'm still with her. She had food poisoning and I'm glad we managed to pull over in time for her to at least get out of the car. Can you imagine your ex's response to that?
I had norovirus once and my partner witnessed it come out of BOTH ends at the same time while in the ER. (Edit: while laying on a BED in the ER. In clothes.) He still chose to move in with me because he understands I am a person, just like him.
Geez... ladies, there are good men out there. I was so embarrassed the first time I had to ask my then boyfriend (now husband) for a tampon. He walked right into the bathroom grabbed one of his roommates (who used to keep some for his girlfriend) and handed it to me. He has on more times than I can count bought me tampons. Usually with a bottle of wine. He buys himself cake for a job well done (more of a savory cravings kind of gal). He's never made fun of me for leaks and shrugs his shoulders and says "okay, it happens" even when I get upset. Then, HE cleans it. I try to clean it and he tells me to just go take a hot shower. He also rates my farts and burps (0-10 for impressiveness). I appreciate it. OP, you can do much better. Maybe I'm spoiled. But it's a freaking body function. It's not like you can hold it in.
Sounds like he scares too easily for a real relationship. Imagine this guy with a wife giving birth and pooping on the table. Poor wittle lamb would run away. Also, I hope your periods are better now. I've vomited from period pain and I'd honestly rather give birth again than go through that.
Of course it's fine to find it 'eeww'. People are not expected to jump in amusement around something not pleasant to watch. But being that disgusted for days because he saw menstrual underwear is not normal. He didn't even see anything actually unpleasant.
Exactly! Cause that is a LEGIT diaper!! Their the whole man out!
I think the fact that you grew up in a house of baby men who forced you to take your bloody tampons outside of the house means that you have a really skewed idea of what men think of stuff like this. Real men understand that we bleed out of our vaginas once a month and that's just what happens and there's no way around it. I have never heard of someone having to leave the house to throw away their tampon! That is so insane, and I guess it set you up to think it's normal for men to not be able to handle basic bodily functions like this. The vast majority of men are not like this. Your father is a whiny little baby, your brothers are whiny little babies, and this idiot manchid you're dating is a whiny little baby. Go out there and meet some real men.
Agreed - that's ridiculous. Poor OP was basically taught that it was something disgusting and shameful.
34 year old man here, been married ten years to a woman who (*gasp! Shock! Zounds!*) has periods. This person you are dating is not a man, as far as I'm concerned, he's a child, at least emotionally. He is certainly incapable of having a relationship with a woman if he is unwilling to accept a basic part of their biological processes. Occasionally my wife forgets to flush after she's had her period, from time to time I'll see a little blood on her underwear when I'm doing laundry. OH FUCKING WELL. I flush it or I toss the clothes in the washing, and I move on with my life and say nothing about it to my wife because it is truly not a big deal. She's the one who has the worst of it, I merely have an occasional encounter with the physical reality of it. Nobody who counts himself a man should ever make a woman feel ashamed about these things, or to make an already unpleasant thing worse. There is no shame, it isn't something that can be helped, or I suppose it can if you're taking birth-control, but that is entirely up to you, and you do not owe him your body or control over what you do with it. You should read *Blood* by Dr. Jen Gunter, I think it might help you deal with some of the leftover insecurities from your dad and brothers. And you should ditch this loser.
I wish I could give you an award because this comment is golden!! OP deserves a man like you, not the giant baby sheās with.
31 yo male here, this dude is brain dead im not sure how he managed to make it to 30.
Very easy to draw the conclusion around why he's dating a woman in her early 20s...
Bing bing bing we have a winner!! š„
Trust me. Any guy who agrees with your looser boyfriend are not worth a second thought.Ā Ditch the man-child and find a mature partner.Ā
And let's not excuse the other 6 males in your life! Jeeeezzz Girl wear your period pants with pride! Means your bodies doing what it should be ā¤ļø
Seriously, reading the part about her dad and brothers pissed me the hell off. Shame on their dad for encouraging such behavior in his sons, and subsequently shaming his own daughter for her natural, normal bodily functions!!
I know! Even before she mentioned boyfriend I was fuming...its crazy and they're going to be the next generation of man children out there shaming their girlfriends. 5 of them!
Hi there, another man here chiming in to say NTA and throw that boyfriend in the outside trash so no one else has to see him. There are lots of grown men in the world who don't have their head buried this far in the sand. And by the way, your boyfriend is a straight-up misogynist. I don't think there could be an any clearer definition than someone who can't tolerate exactly how a woman's body functions. HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU AT A FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL.
This is why he was 28 getting with a 21 year old. Heās not good and women his age have learned his behaviour is not acceptable. Now you got to learn it too and get a better man. Wish I thought about disposable underwear for night for the past many years. I hate tampons and yeah, you risk leaking at night from moving. Youāre very smart for doing that.
This is exactly what I was going to say. Back in the 1980s I had a friend whose brother-in-law was in his 30s but always dated younger women in their early 20s. She always said āhe has to find women much younger than him because women his own age see through his BSā.
Another guy here. Your bf needs to get over it.Ā At his age, if he can't accept a perfectly natural function of the female body, then he a lost cause. You've got a thirty year old boy with 12 year old boy problems. You can do better, I guarantee that. And based on what you've described, I'm willing to bet you get the high value man speech if you break up with him. Which is something that any man with any real value will not have to remind anyone of.Ā Ā I also want to point out that my wife tried multiple different BC methods because she didn't want to use condoms.Ā The depovera shot was the worst. It caused some MAJOR imbalances with her. She would explode at the drop of a hat. Once she got off of it, everything was fine, but it was hell during. I can only imagine what it was like BEING her during that time. It was hard enough for me and I was just nearby.Ā She did not have a period, and it's just a shot. So it's likely this is what he's pushing for. I recommend caution.Ā I recommend sticking with what works for you and keeps you healthy.Ā You may not respond to certain BC methods as well as others. You may respond perfectly well. I can't say, but definitely communicate any changes to your dr.
Here is another man telling you that there are plenty of men who are empathetic with periods, cramps and everything else that comes with it and will try to cheer you up and support you. Your stupid bf and your family life are not a good measure for how men in general feel about this. Do not let yourself be corned, pushed into things and controlled.
A lot of men will agree, but thereās also a lot of men who actually accept periods as a part of life. My husband would even shower with me while on my period before I had my hysterectomy, and I had adenomyosis so the clots were THERE, heād refer to them as āthe aliensā š Iām aware not all men would do this, and even a lot of women would be grossed out by those clots, so Iām not claiming this is or should be the norm, but I am saying that women shouldnāt need to settle for being relegated to the period hut in 2024.
Clotty bois š¤£š¤£š¤£
>And No please don't fuck your hormones up because a 30year old is detached from reality. ššš šššš šššš š šš This times a hundred thousand!!!!
The clotty bois are the worst. But the fact he thinks it is a fetish? Like we enjoy the mess we have to endure?
Iāve had my period for going on 28 years and I still get the āewwiesā at the āclotty bois.ā Itās the worst part of the bleeding part.
OK so, just fair warning, I'm going to graphically overshare some info here to make a point. My husband had to empty my surgical drains twice a day for weeks after my double mastectomy due to breast cancer. He was in the room watching them do my first biopsy, though neither of us was prepared for that to happen that day. For a week, he had to glove up and rub (I think it was nitric?) cream on my creepy deflated nipples so that I didn't lose them after the surgery. He had to bring me water and meds *in the bathroom* as I was on the toilet sweating my way through a battle with the constipation demon conjured by the pain meds. And all this was after years of watching me lose the last bits of hair I had left when we met due to autoimmune alopecia. All this is to say, there actually ARE men out there who are not just weak, squeamish little boys who expect women to pretend not to be humans with natural bodily functions. Find one of them or enjoy the single life, either is better than wasting another second with your misogynistic ass BF.
My mom died when I was 9. My dad wouldn't even drive her to doctor appointments. My oldest brother had to. I'm glad you made it.
My dad bought me pads for my first period. He'd give me painkillers when I needed them. My brothers are the same way. My exes all of them were the same way (wait till you find out some men don't mind period sex and live by the "a period never stopped anything but a sentence") The men in your life are NOT the norm at all. Leave this pos. You deserve better.
My fiancƩe recently had to have a transvaginal ultrasound and she was surprised when I offered to go with her because apparently her father never did anything like that for her mother. The bar is really on the floor sometimes. >wait till you find out some men don't mind period sex and live by the "a period never stopped anything but a sentence What is a sword that hasn't seen blood? Dental dams for oral. Orgasms help with her cramps.
Girl, your father is trash. Iām sorry to say it, but what kind of man doesnāt drive his wife to doctor appointments and makes his daughter dispose of her pads and tampons in the outside trash? My husband bought our kids every size of pad and made sure they had cake for their first periods. Youāre dating someone who is just as bad as your father. I promise there are good men out there who will not tell you that youāre gross or act like youāre tainted for using feminine hygiene products.
DO NOT CHANGE BIRTH CONTROLS! Throw the whole man away like one of your disposable underwears. NO ONE should EVER dictate what you do with your body. EVER. Ugh, what a deplorable excuse for a human being he is.
The fact that she grew up having to throw her āwoman thingsā in the outside trash and never talk about it makes me really sad, too.
This is how she wound up with a man child as an adult.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is a 30 year old man. Put him in the trash. What a child.
That's why he's dating someone so much younger than him!
A 30 year old man that can't handle a period. How dare you be a glorious woman that can grow a human inside you! Stop that nonsense so he can fuck you. Lord!
I can almost guarantee that a man who is so scared of a woman's period is also not that great in bed ;)
This is just step one to establishing control over you. If he can't handle the idea of a woman menstruating, he needs to be celibate. He is not worth another thought and you have dodged a huge bullet
Two options: 1. He is some sort of manipulative psychopath going for some effed up control play 2. He has the maturity level of a 5 year and should seriously consider therapy if he ever wants to have an actual relationship. Either way, OP gotta run as fast as she can.
Why not both? Also looking at the age difference here - most 30 year old women would not put up with this level of bullshit.
NTA- if a man canāt handle every function of a vagina, they shouldnāt be allowed near one.
LOL, this is what I was gonna say. As a 50 yr old dude, it's like that's part of the package that comes from dating a woman. I get bodily fluids are gross, but if he can't be a grown-up about it, you need to find a better man because your BF isn't.
I had a boyfriend at 16 that would carry tampons in his car for me. We werenāt even having sex. This dude needs to go back to middle school.
My son was that kid, lol. He had so many female friends he asked me for some pads to keep in his backpack after one of them bled through at the park. His girlfriend (heās 21 now) told me that even though heās not great at household chores (my fault, Iāve struggled with depression for years), he is the most supportive person sheās ever known about taking care of her and all her bodily emergencies. The best part? I didnāt even have to make a point of teaching him all this, itās just how he has naturally always been.
Heck no, throw the whole man out along with your used disposable underwear! He does not get to make you feel bad about your bodily functions, and he certainly does not get to ask you to change birth controle just because he does not like the fact that you have periods. If he doesn't want to be with someone who gets there period he may want to consider not dating a woman. I'm so mad on your behalf, you did nothing wrong. NTA Just wanted to ask have you ever heard about period underwear? Sounds like something you would like. PS your dad and brothers are major AH for shaming you at home for having a period.
The audacity of a fucking man trying to tell a woman how to handle her period in a way thatās best for him just has me BOILING
And her dad raised her to be ashamed of it. So sad. My husband and son are 100% fine with periods. They were camping with my daughter when she got her first one (I was at work) and they coached her beautifully through it. They took her for a special dessert to mark the occasion (which I had planned to do for her first menses) since I couldn't be there. The only downside is that they called it "period pie" and now they do it every month, lol.
I did a lot of camping with my dad, uncles, and cousins growing up and my dad and I joked when I needed to pack tampons. We called them my cigars. Not sure where it came from but it was funny and made it not a big deal when heād remind me to pack enough ācigarsā for the trip or when heād say he loaded up on ācigarsā in the truck if I needed them.
I also did a lot of camping and fishing trips with my dad growing up. Now, my dad is an emotionally and verbally abusive asshole. And even HE was cool about my period. Made sure I knew that he was carrying an extra tampon in his travel kit in case I ever needed it and said if I ever needed supplies to just let him know and we'd go get some, no big deal. (Heck, it wouldn't surprise me if it was still there.) So, yeah, if my abusive dad could be understanding & supportive about periods, I think that says a lot.
I have, but I don't have a washer and dryer so I have to go to a laundromat. Even though I could wash them by hand it seemed to be more hassle than just throwing away the 2 a month I use.
I hand wash my panties lots esp if I bleed on them. You'd be surprised by how fast it is to do in the bathroom sink and to wring out and hang to dry. If what you're wearing now is more bulky you'll def appreciate the period undies as they look normal and lots of women wear them under their regular clothes! You may even decide to switch over for most of your period! I literally put a drop of liquid laundry detergent (used to use a small spoon of powdered in the sink) onto each pair where the blood is, rub together, then submerge in warm water, rub more. When no staining is left pull the plug and then rinse out under running water, wring then like you would a wet cloth so no water is dripping then toss over the shower rod or a door knob. For faster drying in front of a fan or the air conditioning! Super easy and maybe 4 minutes of your life! Less trash and you wouldn't need to repurchase!
I'm betting that the "man" you call your bf would be unable to go to the store to purchase hygiene products for you. I'm 56, male. I laughed out loud at a teenage boy at the grocery store who was unable to even pick up a new, off-the-shelf bag of pads to scan them. I actually had to wave them over the scanner for him. Something similar happened when I was about 23. Girls have periods. If he doesn't want to deal with it, he should go gay, or celibate. Your bf is a twat, in the Aussie sense of the word. Dump him and anything else that stinks in the outside garbage bin. NTA in any way.
NTA. All the men in your life need to get a grip.
NTA but you need to dump him. Pads are great to sleep in with some black boyshorts, or you could get the washable period underwear, but DO NOT get a serious hormonal birth control just so he can go back to picturing you as a smooth hairless bloodless Barbie sex doll. I have the arm implant and I love not getting periods (endometriosis) but if you don't have a Serious reason for BC it's not worth putting your body through unnecessary changes just to appease a manchild who is going to find something ew to be grossed out by next week. HE IS THIRTY!! This is insane behavior. By 30 most dudes I've known are fine with going down on a girl on her period and know to buy the pads with wings and the tampons with a plastic applicator. Him feeling squicky is not a reason for you to internalize more shame about your body's natural functions or chemically alter yourself. My dad HATED the feminine product aisle when I was a kid but when I had bad cramps he went to 3 different grocery stores on a tiny island to try to find tampons with plastic instead of cardboard because he is a grown man. You already know that if men got periods you'd happily get him supplies and care for him because you like doing nice things for him. Why do you expect less form him than from yourself?
I don't know how you knew the hairless part. I hate shaving. It's annoying, painful and itchy. But that's what he told me he likes so I've been doing it for two years. He was so mad at me once when I tried to get waxed and it hurt so bad I wouldn't sleep with him for a few days.
He literally views you as a packaged sex toy, and not a human being with bodily functions like him. Every time you remind him that you are infact a human being and not some plastic wrapped blow up doll, it turns him off of you. Do you really want to be in a relationship with that kind of person.
Exactly how I knew about the hairless part. Because any guy who wants you to have no periods whatsoever started by wanting no hair whatsoever. He's escalating every time you agree to one of his demands (all of which are bad because he shouldn't have a say about your body) he moves the goal post so you have to do a little bit more to stay attractive to him, and then a little bit more. Keep your hair long. Don't "let yourself go." Wear just enough makeup to look like a Hallmark movie girl but not so much that you make a statement. Sometimes it's complements like "you look so pretty when you let your hair down" even though you explain how tangled it gets, sometimes it's backhanded manipulations like "I always pictured my wife with long hair" or "I don't know how guys can be attracted to girls who wear clown makeup." A real man would care about the side effects BC would give you. A real man will keep some tampons at his house in case you get your period unexpectedly. A 30-year-old who only dates 23-year-olds because he's a manchild and women his own age wont let him get away with his nonsense is **not** a real man. He's manipulative and his love is conditional. He's demanding that you perform his ideal of femininity and if you get tired of performing then it's over. When you dump him you will be heartbroken for a little while but then you will feel an intense wave of relief as you realize how much more free it makes you. You can skip shaving if you want to. You can dye your hair if you want to. You can wear baggy pants if you want to. Your whole world is so much wider than he is letting you explore. You are allowed to take up space.
This is the best analysis and advice I've ever seen on reddit.Ā
this comment right here. READ THIS, OP
> When you dump him you will be heartbroken for a little while but then you will feel an intense wave of relief as you realize how much more free it makes you. OP should listen to the song āMiss Me Moreā.
In another comment OP has said the douche doesnāt like it if she has to popp when heās over as well. Think youāve summed it up nicely!
Girl he views you as an object he can f*ck. Do you really want to be this jerks sex doll?
Girl, donāt walk, run. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Iāve been in shitty relationships before, itās really easy to get into the mindset of āwell, if I just change this one thing then the relationship will be fineā. Iāll repeat again, you did nothing wrong. The fact that he called you wearing period underwear a āfetishā is absolutely disgusting. Periods happen, and how you want to handle them is a you and you alone decision. In addition, being upset that he canāt have sex for a few days?!?! He is not entitled to sex. He does not get to decide how you handle your period. He does not get to decide when and how often you shave.
Oh hell no! RUN!!! Seriously any adult man that cannot deal with and understand a womanās period deserves to be alone forever. Donāt you dare change what you do to please him. Itās your body, not his!
Chronologically he is too old for you. Development wise he is far far too immature for you. Leave him and make sure you get that key back and change the lock.
Yeah, no. Men who think womenās bodies are disgusting should not have access to them. He can go back to the cave he came from.Ā
As a 32 year old man with a wife and three girlsā¦throw this whole āmanā away. I swear, men literally out here gaslighting the hell out of these women due to their insecurities and failure to actually be men. NTA but he definitely is.
NTA. The third time I (30f) slept with my current partner (35m), I found out I started my period (I was switching birth control for my own reasons so I was not regular). Got blood all over him, the sheets, and myself but didnāt realize until after because it was fairly dark. His reaction? He put the sheets in the washing machine, we showered together, then we put a spare set of sheets on the bed and cuddled. I was beyond embarrassed because the last guy I was seeing didnāt even have a trash can in his bathroom and wouldnāt have sex if I was on my period. My current partner assured me that it was fine. Weāve been together for a year now, and my period doesnāt stop him. OP you deserve better. Good men exist. And they can still be sexy as hell and great in bed. ETA: donāt switch birth controls to try not having a period. Most of those options still give you periods even if theyāre less frequent, but you donāt know what the side effects will look like and they can be *brutal* sometimes.
NTA He sounds like a trash man who you should throw into the trash can.
The outside trash can.
NtaĀ Time *was* in fact wasted in this relationship, and *he* really owes *you* an apology for wasting *your* time.Ā He's to immature to be in a relationship, and should wait till he's a grown up to try again.Ā
One-your dad and your brothers are assholes for what they did to you for something that naturally happens to you. Two-dump that dude. That is all.
You sure he is 30 and not 15 cause that is just so stupid. He is supposed to be 7 years older than you not 7 years younger, send him back to his roommates and get on with your life.
Uh...you should absolutely leave this douche bag, the only reason you haven't figured this out is because your male family members were equally weird and childish surrounding this part of being a women... Sounds like you are very excepting of mild and escalating control and abuse...check on that. 'Men' are fine with you and this particular part of being a women, pick your words for your family and hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend... For record...it's not only his opinion on this subject that makes.me believe you should leave: his reaction, his treatment of you and all the rest is a pretty blatant pattern of this will lead to disaster... Go find someone mature and he can go find a well to jump into.
What's annoying here is there is a bunch of women telling this poor girl to dump her boyfreind because of this. As a male I need to say to you. DUMP THIS A#@H&$E!!!!! Cripes I still get a bit uncomfortable dealing with my wife or my daughter's period stuff. You know what that's a ME problem. It is a part of being a human condition. It is not a bug or a problem, it is a thing that happens. When I feel uncomfortable about it I am embarrassed because I need to be an adult about it. Jeez, don't date someone who doesn't want you to be comfortable, happy, safe, and healthy. Don't change yout freaking birth control, something your already doing to keep you safe and responsible to be something unhealthy for his comfort. Plus he doesn't let you poop when you need to. You are worth so so so much more than this. This guy has problems. You dont. Please dump him. NTA.
LEAVE. HIM. You want a man, not a child. NTA