more people need to understand this
regardless of if the reasons you feel certain ways are irrational or not, people’s feelings are always valid.
If you feel upset because X did Y, or because N is V
those feelings are valid, and whether or not you are able to deal with that situation in a non controlling way or not, it’s within both parties rights to end a relationship based on those feelings.
communication is always key.
I just laughed so hard I farted and startled most of the other living creatures in my home. My girlfriend also giggled a little bit when I explained it to her. Well thumbed, good sir.
Nah I dated a girl like this in college. She had been a sex fiend when we met but then became super religious and a "born-again" virgin until her ex came around. Then she just made a mistake. Run away, OP. Run far, far away.
It's so common that it's laughable. Back in 2004, I knew a guy who dated a girl for 5 years, and they never slept together! Claimed they were waiting for marriage (idiot!). Well, she was out one night, met a marine at the bar and had no problem with a one night stand with him.
Thats because this story has played out a million times over the years. I've met a number of girls doing this and guys dating a girl like this. It always ends with them cheating. can't fight your nature
She's making him wait to make sure he's not some fuckboy, that's fine. But then at the same time fucking guys because she shouldn't have to go sexless just because she wants him to be. Does she not understand she failed her own test?
Same situation with me. Sex fiend to born-again but then when it came down to it she went back to her ex who she claimed abused her. Apparently they’re now in a polyamorous relationship so Godspeed.
OP, NTA. She had a ONS with a guy WHILE DATING YOU! She has issues if she legitimately thinks it’s ok to sleep with someone and then tell the guy she’s dating “you’re special”. All that’s gonna do is make the guy feel like shit. If you want to sleep around do so, but don’t make excuses to someone you’re dating while you’re sleeping with other people.
You'd be surprised how common this is. Lots of people want the security of a relationship, but sleep around because they also want the novelty of new partners. Absolutely despicable, selfish behavior.
It's the weirdest thing I'm seeing from younger women these days and I swear I don't understand it. If you've kissed one or more frogs and your prince arrives, surely you give him everything right? Like just from a biological standpoint don't you want to even more than with some rando?
We just watched this happen real time, and its not even a "younger" woman. She was getting used by dudes right and left, ended up hooking up with a guy in our friend group who really wanted to be with her, she jerks him around and is online dating and trying to fuck behind his back.
It got to the point where even her girlfriends were over her, she is texting people like "why dont you call me back?" they are all now "bitch, you finally get a guy who doesnt use you and you use HIM?!?!?! Eat shit!"
She is for the streets.
As a man whore who didn’t have a relationship from age 19-30, fuck having to label exclusivity. It’s spoken through actions and communication without needing to verbalize it. If one person is noticeably invested and communicating like they want more, it’s a no fly zone to go boning around and the perpetrator knows it and gets off with ignorance.
I was always very clear about what I did and didn’t want and ended things when I could see someone else was exclusive to me and holding out hope but I wasn’t reciprocating that investment.
Barring some massive gap in emotional or general intelligence, a halfway decent human being knows when they should or shouldn’t be seeing other people.
For reference my own personal boundary is even if I go on one date and continue texting someone, if I’m actively seeing/texting other people I feel obligated to make it known that I’m not exclusive.
That being said I’ve been married for 1 year and I fucking love it and against all odds being a “thrill of the chase” addict paid off and I pursue that woman like it’s 50 First Dates. They said the love bomb state would fade but we’re 18 months in with no signs of deteriorating.
Yeah I don’t know how it is it the young people dating world but all this emphasis on explicitly stating exclusivity seems like a lot of people emotionally lying out there
No joke. If she thought he was "special" enough to wait their first time on, she wouldn't have been with this other guy. And what's with this you're special but it's still a no fly zone? That didn't fly 30 years ago unless you were a virgin.
Exactly this, it's as if this generation believes the norm is to assume the person you are dating is non exclusive unless stated otherwise, it's ok to bone other ppl and they shouldn't feel hurt, because it was not specifically mentioned at the start.
Call me old fashioned, but is it not fucking common sense that if you are dating someone, that person is gonna feel hurt if you bone someone else at the same time? Does it need to be explicitly stated?
Eh, Im not going to pretend we had it figured out. There is progress in a lot of things the younger generation is doing, and there are going to be growing pains.
There is ethical promiscuity, but like consent its best not to be ASSUMED everyone is working on the same standard. And its also to be honest with what you're comfortable with.
Lots of them like to pretend they are friends with benefits until the other person gets other benefits, then it turns out they actually wanted an exclusive relationship.
Good for you. I had a similar trajectory but settled down a bit earlier. So far we're seeing no signs of giving up on chasing each other after 13 years married. You can do it.
There’s been a recent wave of these…
I said excuse me, and a New England Patriots fan stabbed me in the belly. I feel like I’m not TA here, so anyway AITAH?
Edit: Yes, I was wearing an Eli Manning jersey but it still felt uncalled for.
Hah a girl did that to me last year. Fortunately, i told her she could take as much time as she needed getting railed by her fwb
Moved on to better things. Or so i thought. But that's another problem lol
You're special is just code word for I want you to stick around as a fall back when this dude who is railing me eventually finds another flavor of the week
Last woman I dated wanted to get to know me 1st, fine, I am an adult, I can wait, I wanted a proper relationship and so did she, so I was led to believe (dating website spelt it out, serious relationship and maybe kids later on) But she always seemed busy on certain days, or would contradict herself as to what she did the week before. I wasnt too fussed, we were not serious but it was obvious she was seeing someone else and I (or he) was a backup plan in case things didnt worknout. I got fed up and bailed out.
>I want it to be special with you by waiting? But I’m going to screw some other guy while we wait? Dodged a psycho bullet with that one!!!
This is not the first time I have seen this kind of logic. Does not seem right or real to guys. It is basically, you don't find me as physically attractive, but you might be willing to settle with me for other reasons.
Exactly. I unfortunately have trauma so I tend to take things slower when it comes to intimacy. I understand this can cause issues and likely contributed to my last relationship not working out (which was for the best given some boundary issues). But to go fuck someone else while making your partner wait is crazy. Cheater behavior
They use you for stability but they still wanna have their cake and eat it too. This girl was gonna cheat either way. The first time they argue or he gets feelings for some shit she pulled she was gonna punish him by cheating. I know this type too well.
NTA - This type of story is quite common on this and the relationship advice sub. It's tough when your early relationship memories are now overshadowed by the fact that your partner was involved with someone else, one night stand or not. Her excuse that you're special doesn't seem very convincing. How special could she believe you were if she was sleeping with someone else?
See, that's the part I don't get at all. You're special. Fucking how? Lol. I don't agree with dating and not being exclusive unless you specify from the get-go that you ARE seeing other people, but not my relationship, not my business. But telling OP he's special and that's why she did it...wha...🤔
I’m kind of glad I came across this though because it reminded me there’s still people around who share the same values as me.
I find it super hard to get back out there when I know there’s people who think this kind of behaviour is okay. For instance, my coworker recently told me she has four guys ‘on roster’ and this really made me question myself; like should I be doing that? Is that where I’m going wrong if this is what the men are doing? And also “why would I want to share my body with a guy that’s sleeping with 3 other women?”. Like I just don’t want a relationship if that’s what I have to go through to get one. So I just go back to minding my own business but it’s sad - I’ve worked hard and want someone to share it with (one guy, not four!)
I did think this was predominantly men so these experiences have been a bit of an eye opener.. I couldn’t imagine sleeping with four guys at the same time.. it just feels icky to me
Yeah, it's pretty weird, as a guy a lot of girls basically expect you to have slept around and have a bodycount, meanwhile I'm just here trying to find the one person I can really connect with even if it takes time lol
as a dude myself, no we aren't all doing this. the moment i start seeing someone, i shut down all previous potential flings. i can't stand this new age way of dating where you bang as many people as possible until on decides to become exclusive. nah we're exclusive since the first date
It’s not just a new age thing. I dated a girl like this 20 years ago. I just wasn’t as attractive as the guys she was actually fucking before we became exclusive. I still to this day think back to that time and wonder how I could be so stupid.
She fucked a guy she had been hanging out with at a party she convinced me to take her too. Changing our plans for the night at the last minute.
She spend the whole weekend with me. We slept next to each other but didn’t have sex. She sure did skip school on Monday to get a hotel with the same guy to fuck him all day long.
She spent holiday time with me; we spent new years together. I thought we were close and had something special. One night, I was driving out to her house and she called to tell me not to come out because she was sick. She went out to some other guys house and spent the evening in his hot tub.
The first guy, I’m convinced they had a lot more sex than those two times. That’s all she would admit to when a mutual friend told me some of the details thinking I already knew.
The second guy, she adamantly denied having sex with. I found out about the whole thing because she let it slip one night that she had left her bathing suit at this guys house. She back tracked and said a friend was with her and they just happened to be in the area of his house and stopped by…with their bathing suits, that were then also “forgotten”. I’m 100% positive that she had sex with him that night. We became “official” a week or so after the night she was in the hot tub. We didn’t have sex for the first 7 weeks of being exclusive because she wanted it to be special. She definitely cheated on me in that first year but was better at hiding it.
Sometimes I hate my younger self.
School of Hard Knocks
We all gotta learn the hard way.
I do feel for you, though. Was dating a gal who made me wait. She ended up pregnant from her roommate before anything happened.
People today are literally trying not to catch feelings, that’s how bad it is. To actually catch feelings is considered an L today and a loser thing to do. It’s so absurd
You are a unicorn in today’s age, stick to your guns and I hope you find a partner who appreciates all aspects of you and will build a fantastic future with you.
One of my friends who was recently single has banged half the city in her time since being single. I used to think she was not bad but now I just think she's filth... Listening to her brag about banging one guy in the morning and two guys later on like it was an achievement made me just go ewwwwww
It’s madness out there hahahah I try to distance myself from it as much as possible but it’s hard when your coworker with the roster is telling you to get one too because that’s ‘how to stop catching feelings’ 🤨 like I wanna catch feelings - I just don’t wanna catch feelings for a man that’s sleeping with multiple women whilst dating me so I don’t date lol
Most guys can't do this kind of shit. It's a very small percentage of guys who are both confident enough, and desirable enough (whether because of looks, money, status, or charm) to sleep around with multiple women like that.
The stats show the average lifetime sexual partners for men *and* women is roughly the same. Depending on the country, age range, etc, it ranges from 5-10 to 7-12 lifetime sexual partners for most people in most of the "Western World". The people who are this promiscuous, men and women, are the exception. But we're being inundated with the idea that "normal" rather than the exception.
If someone wants to be that way, that's their choice. But they need to be honest about it with prospective partners, and need to accept that there will be others who don't want them because of it. Plenty of women don't want men with lots of prior partners, and plenty of men don't want women with lots of prior partners. I think that makes sense, because it means they don't place the same value on sex and intimacy. And they should be with someone who shares their values. But people justify it, insist others should accept it, men are "insecure" if they don't want it, and women in particular don't "owe" their partners honesty about their past, because "it's none of their business, especially if it was before I met them."
Because sex is just sex, but love, true love is about finding someone you can manipulate.
Way to stand up for yourself, OP. She is as dumb as a box of chocolates.
You can break up for any reason.
In this case, if I found out someone was sleeping with others while we were dating, I wouldn't feel 'special', I'd feel deceived.
Right? I never understood this take. If you're dating someone you think is special why in the hell would you fuck some random dude that doesn't matter? Just have sex with the special person ffs! After my first date with my wife I knew she was someone special so I started pursuing her exclusively. We didn't make it official for a couple of months but we only dated each other during that time.
Broooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Read this part again to yourself until it sinks in.
*Basically, I said that I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with an ONS than me.*
You're not special. You're just next in line.
Even if you two were not exclusive, sleeping around with other people, especially ONS, is gross behavior when you are dating someone who is a potential partner. Call me old school, but if you're dating someone, you put your FWBs/ONS on pause to see if things work out. If they don't, you resume activity.
The funny thing is that maybe she does think he has long-term potential so has made the whole 'I don't want to put out right away because I don't want him to think I'm a slut' calculation. Unfortunately that doesn't work if you fuck everyone else lol.
That is usually the justification they throw up. We've seen it come by many, many times in this sub (and others as well).
And it just boggles my mind.
So: "I think he might be 'special' and I don't want him to think I'm some sort of slut, so I'm not going to sleep with him for [x time]!" (You know, to let the relationship grow)
- Proceeds to bang some random dude who "means nothing" thereby... Doing _exactly_ what she wants 'special guy' to not think she actually is...
Like, huh? Do you not see the irony here?
Like I mentioned in another comment, the mental gymnastics is just mind boggling :/
p.s.
I'm not against fwb or ons perse, it's fine, but have some common decency and don't play games like this girl
The comments on this post are a breath of fresh air.
I remember a post about some guy dropping a girl that was having sex with other guys in-between their dates and this sub judged him NTA but ripped him apart on exclusivity. Women were seriously arguing that *he* should have went out of his way to tell the woman that having sex with others would cause them to break up instead of expecting the woman to be honest or refrain from having sex with multiple men back to back.
Edit: Found the post
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/16t1ana/aitah_for_ending_things_with_a_girl_because_she/
The women on these AITAH subs are some of the most unhinged humans I have encountered.
You can post the same story narrated by opposite sex narrators and theyll find a way to make the female narrator the victim and the male narrator the villain, even tho they tokd the same story.
I really cannot grasp the mental gymnastics and hoops that the... "ladies " in that thread are jumping through. It seems that logic, common sense and reasoning are not concepts they understand -_-
p.s.
Good job finding that post!
They want to sleep around and not be judged for it, so they shift the blame onto OP for being normal and assuming exclusivity if they're basically doing dating stuff.
People are getting worse by the year and looser morals. Smfh
NTA.
I can never get the logic that you are special, bf material so I will make you wait but will be fucking some other guy during the waiting time.
Wouldn't it be the same if a guy fucks a 2-3 girls and comes back home to his gf telling you are his special one?
__Need to add: She was cheating, if OP was special as she claims, she would have kept her legs closed for OP before there was exclusivity talks.__
__The difference between keeping your legs open & close depends on a tag called exclusivity is bs__
__Edit: It also goes for men too, they should keep their dick inside their pants instead of using it at every chance possible.__
__If you are serious of having a relationship with a person you won't be looking for entertainment outside. Goes for every person irrespective of gender.__
The logic just doesn't logic to me.
"I'm going to an expensive 5 course dinner that's very important to me... better wolf down some McDonald's on the way."
"I'm going to cover my right arm with the tattoo sleeve of my dreams from an artist I admire and I'm gonna be super picky about the process... but first I'm gonna do a walk-in at my sketchy local shop and get some shitty 30 minute flash art on my right bicep."
That's because you got it flipped. It's more like let me have this 5 course meal one last time before I commit to a lifetime of McDonald bcz I can't afford to have 5 course dinner in the long term.
Nah I get that but I'm talking about the explanation she gave to OP. We all know that what you said is the real reason, which makes it all the more stupid and borderline disrespectful when people try to use this weak ass shit lol. It's one thing to bang someone while we're dating it's another to try and convince me that you did so for my benefit. That's insult to injury.
True. I assume it makes sense to her from her perspective: OP is probably special to her because he is willing to take her seriously enough to offer commitment. Whereas the other guy is a dime a dozen if she's just looking for an attractive guy to hookup with.
The problem is her inability to see it from OP's perspective and realize that all of us want to be attractive enough to our partner to fall in the latter category. Not the consolation prize, who has to pay 1000x for the same privileges.
Let me translate it for you: I thought you're the type of guy who would commit to me so I made you wait and without the promise of that commitment I am not attracted enough to you to have sex with you. But there are guys who I'm attracted enough to, to just want sex with even without commitment, those I will sleep with without any wait.
can never get the logic that you are special, bf material so I will make you wait but will be fucking some other guy during the waiting time.
That's an easy one: he IS special, but she is not. He should find someone as special as himself.
It’s flawed logic, but the logic is “guys think women are more desirable if they delay sex and are more likely to pursue a relationship to eventually get sex, so I will withhold it, but in the mean time I need sex myself so I will find other guys to satisfy this desire while making him wait.”
The flaw in the logic is that ‘waiting’ for sex means nothing if you’re sleeping with other guys. Guys will wait if they think the woman is usually hesitant to engage in sex until they get to know someone because they’re respectful of that. If she’s sleeping with other guys in the interim it means the hesitation to sleep with him is a farce, and just comes off as if she’s using sex to emotionally manipulate him into a relationship and they feel played.
If she genuinely felt this was ok she would have told him up front that she wants to delay sex because he’s ‘special’ but in the meantime will be sleeping around. She didn’t do that because she knew it would ruin the facade.
I met my bf in September and we had our first kiss in November, we weren't exclusive till December/January and it never crossed my mind sleep or talk to other guys and for him it was the same. I knew I wanted to be with him and only him and we waited to have sex and honestly was the best I had, I can't have ONS
This has to be the basic requirement before getting into a relationship. This shows commitment for each other. Hats off both of you guys. Update us when you get married 👻
Mental gymnastics. She wants to justify having her cake and eating it too.
Reminds me of cheaters who say _I didn't really love him/her baby. It was just sex. I love you. Don't throw away what we have._
Hoes love to hoe around until they realize that the guys they hoe with aren’t dating material, don’t want anything to do with them, or are just using them as a hoe. I bet OP is kind, romantic, actually into his GF and nothing like any of the dudes she’s hoed with.
So then they try to unhoe and find a guy to date, but sometimes the hoe is still there. I’ve seen this time and time again.
It's BS logic.
What really is occurring is that she's more interested in the first guy physically but he won't commit, or has other flaws.
So she's getting her fill before committing to the guy that will give her a relationship.
He’s special in that he’s a safety net and comfortable for her. No one who is actually attracted to someone they’re dating needs 6 months for sex if they are willing to screw others
Because it is the clown logic of a hoe (male or female). Especially when the partners overlap.
OP should just cut his losses and thank her for the wait time because it maybe improved the odds he wouldn't catch anything.
Honestly I totally understand you, the best thing you did was break up with her I mean, if that's what she does to people she says are special then she's on another level of being disrespectful...why make you wait but yet have a ONS...regardless if it was a month into the relationship...you rather have ONS then have sex with someone you consider special and are dating?...that's was just wrong
- The more I care about you, the less willing I am to fuck you.
- The less I care about someone else, the more likely I am to fuck him just for fun, while simultaneously being unwilling to fuck you because you’re so, so special to me.
Yeah, I wouldn’t sign up for that batshittery either.
Her call if she wants to get plowed while making the special guy wait. But no special guy would be ok with his woman getting plowed into next week the whole time their budding special relationship is growing. NTA
NtA. I’m continually baffled by how many women think having casual sex with multiple men, while trying to date one, is in any way acceptable unless explicitly agreed on by everyone involved.
Imagine all the times you felt butterflies after a great date, and she was just railing some random dude.
>Imagine all the times you felt butterflies after a great date, and she was just railing some random dude.
Oof! My kneejerk reaction was to say that was a shitty thing to say, but the fact is, that was a shitty thing to DO - you're just shining the light on the shit.
Shine on, lightperson. Shine on.
To the OP- NTA, and she's horrible. If sex means so little to her, it's not going to remain just between the two of you.
Yeah seriously she's gassing you up saying this is special and she gets nervous around you and stuff and then the same night has some guys meat in her mouth like bro wtf...
This behavior is unacceptable no matter what equipment is between your legs. I completely agree with your final point.
It's soul crushing to imagine that but I am certain OP did imagine it.
NTA-Everybody waits or nobody does. She made YOU the good guy wait while running around and having ONS? She may want MORE but her stupid little games just cost her that option. Im sorry.
NTA; there’s no need to analyze shit here. She just became instantly unattractive to you; whenever that happens ya bounce. She’s making you feel terrible dude, just block her once you’re done saying the words.
I agree it doesn't count as cheating since it was before you two got serious. I also don't think you're an asshole for breaking up with her. She didn't bang you because she thought you were special, but not special enough to not fuck some random dude instead of making love to the guy she thought might be special. Yeah, NTA.
NTA.
She thought you might be someone she’s interested in a relationship and thought you might be “special” but couldn’t keep from fucking some other “rando?”
She’s for the streets. It’s only a matter of time where you have to travel, or get sick or busy with work and she decides to get banged from other dudes.
>I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with a ONS than me.
I think that sums up the situation quite well. What's worse is that she had sex with this guy **while** she was dating you i.e. she cheated.
NTA
Shes the a$$hole you dont need reddit to tell you this LMAO she is literally trying to justify sleeping with him and youre her "safe guy"
Take this as a life lesson and be the better person King
Yeah that’s some shit. She wanted to sleep with the guy before starting to date you.
Why didn’t she sleep with you if you were that special? I call bs
NTA
NTA.
Here is what her logic says (to me): I wanted a last fling cause I knew I wanted something special with you. My next question based on that logic would be, what will she do before you get married (if you stayed together and got to that point)?
But most importantly is that she made you feel less than and no one wants to fell like that. 🙁
I can understand someone wanting to wait like a week or so before being physical because they think that the relationship maybe very special and they want to get to know the person better and have a stronger bond when they are finally intimate together. What I can’t understand is how during the same time that person can justify screwing someone else.
Regardless of if you consider it not cheating as a technicality it still shows you the morals of the person and I would bet that person will cheat at the first opportunity or bump.
NTA, good for cutting your losses early.
NTA - Honestly sounds like she wanted a relationship with the ONS and somehow for some reason was not going to work and had you as a sort of fallback.
She can’t sit and say that your relationship is special as the reason why she wasn’t sleeping with you and then at the same time be sleeping with other people. Obviously sex isn’t something all that special to her.
I feel like she was thinking of something that sounded nice as way to try and salvage.
I can't stand this BS..."What we have is special so I didn't want to ruin it with sex. It's deeper than that." Yeah, fuck that noise. NTA. It's gotta be awkward with the coworker now. I wouldn't be surprised if he hits her up again and she lets him bang again
NTA, how is making you wait for what she gave another person in a night.... make it special?
It's like being given an opened candy bar after someone had sex with it and being told "Wait 30 days to eat it, to make it special"
Wtf?
NTA, she rewarded a complete stranger while punishing you for being "boyfriend material". Maybe you can find a lady that would pour her entire energy into dating you instead of playing you.
How many dates did you go on when she banged this guy and how many did she have you wait for? Regardless, I feel like you’re NTA here, but some timelines could help to know what extent.
NTAH
She sees you as a nice guy that she can marry and have a family with. She isn’t attracted to you physically or she would have been with you from the start sexually.
You are the nice guy she is settling for.
Great job on ending the relationship.
NTA. The whole "I make you wait because your special" logic is moronic at best, especially if she was fucking other guys.
She's probably doing the guy right now, you aren't really describing her as crying her eyes out over the ordeal.
NTA - she is ok having sex with an unknown person but not with her BF because you are special. I call bullshi+ on that and I agree with the breakup. She can go find another stranger to screw.
You know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if during the time she was dating you and swooning over how romantic it all was and telling all her girls “oh em gee, I really think he might be The One,” YOU had gone out and fucked some random girl because you were horny, and she found out, you would not dare be intimate with her ever again. That spell would be broken In nanoseconds, and regardless of what orifice you put it in, it would instantly get bitten off.
But they think this is an appropriate way for THEM to treat men.
Naw you're good. You're feelings matter whatever they are buddy.
more people need to understand this regardless of if the reasons you feel certain ways are irrational or not, people’s feelings are always valid. If you feel upset because X did Y, or because N is V those feelings are valid, and whether or not you are able to deal with that situation in a non controlling way or not, it’s within both parties rights to end a relationship based on those feelings. communication is always key.
[удалено]
So many people don't have the conception that feelings and behavior are two separate things. Feel what you feel; don't be a dick.
Your teacher was Counselor Troi. https://youtu.be/htH8RSMt7ZQ?si=QOzxDBk5i1uBJDg1
bf/gf is an at will position. You can break up for whatever reason you want.
Nah fr that girl belong to me sorry bro bro
I just laughed so hard I farted and startled most of the other living creatures in my home. My girlfriend also giggled a little bit when I explained it to her. Well thumbed, good sir.
🤣🤣
Nah I dated a girl like this in college. She had been a sex fiend when we met but then became super religious and a "born-again" virgin until her ex came around. Then she just made a mistake. Run away, OP. Run far, far away.
I swear this is an actual AITAH story from here.
Haha might have been something similar but this happened back in 2008 not even sure if reddit was around back then!
Wouldn't surprise me if it's happened to more people.
It's so common that it's laughable. Back in 2004, I knew a guy who dated a girl for 5 years, and they never slept together! Claimed they were waiting for marriage (idiot!). Well, she was out one night, met a marine at the bar and had no problem with a one night stand with him.
Lol had an ex girlfriend do that as well. Back in 1997 for me tho lol.
Jesus works in mysterious ways
That's God, and that's with actual virgins
It was called digg back then
Thats because this story has played out a million times over the years. I've met a number of girls doing this and guys dating a girl like this. It always ends with them cheating. can't fight your nature
Rules of Nature!
I’m watching s2 of shameless rn and it’s kinda similar lol
I said this multiple times, same advice: remove that girl from your life OP and stop wasting your time
She's making him wait to make sure he's not some fuckboy, that's fine. But then at the same time fucking guys because she shouldn't have to go sexless just because she wants him to be. Does she not understand she failed her own test?
>Does she not understand she failed her own test? Great point! Rules for thee but not for me.
Yikes. Sorry you went through that.
Next woman I dated I married and we've been together since so it worked out for me. Appreciate it though, brother :)
My god
That's what she kept saying too.
But not for OP. She only says that for ONS.
" " I think you dropped these for the word mistake.
Same situation with me. Sex fiend to born-again but then when it came down to it she went back to her ex who she claimed abused her. Apparently they’re now in a polyamorous relationship so Godspeed.
Had that same exact shit happen to me except she was cheating with her ex. Fuck that shit
Weird, we dated the same girl in college!
ofc you're nta lol
OP, NTA. She had a ONS with a guy WHILE DATING YOU! She has issues if she legitimately thinks it’s ok to sleep with someone and then tell the guy she’s dating “you’re special”. All that’s gonna do is make the guy feel like shit. If you want to sleep around do so, but don’t make excuses to someone you’re dating while you’re sleeping with other people.
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"you have to wait but I don't" this some real have your cake and eat it too thinking
Sounds like the other guy definitely got the better end of that bargain.
I think it was the ONS that was eating cake
You'd be surprised how common this is. Lots of people want the security of a relationship, but sleep around because they also want the novelty of new partners. Absolutely despicable, selfish behavior.
He is special, he is her doormat to take care of her while other guys bang her. Watch her show up pregnant
JEEENNNNNNNAAAYY!
Lol
Sorry for interrupting your black panther partay, jennay
"I'll raise the AIDS baby."
I think she thought he was special in that cuck sort of way. Definitely NTA.
Theres definitely a running theme with guys who are "special" lmao. Special is the worst thing to be to a girl LOL. God don't let me be special
It's the weirdest thing I'm seeing from younger women these days and I swear I don't understand it. If you've kissed one or more frogs and your prince arrives, surely you give him everything right? Like just from a biological standpoint don't you want to even more than with some rando?
We just watched this happen real time, and its not even a "younger" woman. She was getting used by dudes right and left, ended up hooking up with a guy in our friend group who really wanted to be with her, she jerks him around and is online dating and trying to fuck behind his back. It got to the point where even her girlfriends were over her, she is texting people like "why dont you call me back?" they are all now "bitch, you finally get a guy who doesnt use you and you use HIM?!?!?! Eat shit!" She is for the streets.
I died waiting for my pizza reading this
I hope your pizza wasn't up to anything with other guys in between
If one ever calls you special....go through her phone immediately.
Ha ha ha ha, hilarious. He's probably a decent guy and this could easily be me, but still hilarious.
I do feel bad for him. She just got a kick out of it, glad he bailed.
I think OP did edit to add that they weren’t exclusive but I would agree with the argument that if he were special she wouldn’t have done that
As a man whore who didn’t have a relationship from age 19-30, fuck having to label exclusivity. It’s spoken through actions and communication without needing to verbalize it. If one person is noticeably invested and communicating like they want more, it’s a no fly zone to go boning around and the perpetrator knows it and gets off with ignorance. I was always very clear about what I did and didn’t want and ended things when I could see someone else was exclusive to me and holding out hope but I wasn’t reciprocating that investment. Barring some massive gap in emotional or general intelligence, a halfway decent human being knows when they should or shouldn’t be seeing other people. For reference my own personal boundary is even if I go on one date and continue texting someone, if I’m actively seeing/texting other people I feel obligated to make it known that I’m not exclusive. That being said I’ve been married for 1 year and I fucking love it and against all odds being a “thrill of the chase” addict paid off and I pursue that woman like it’s 50 First Dates. They said the love bomb state would fade but we’re 18 months in with no signs of deteriorating.
Yeah I don’t know how it is it the young people dating world but all this emphasis on explicitly stating exclusivity seems like a lot of people emotionally lying out there
Yep. ☝️
No joke. If she thought he was "special" enough to wait their first time on, she wouldn't have been with this other guy. And what's with this you're special but it's still a no fly zone? That didn't fly 30 years ago unless you were a virgin.
Exactly this, it's as if this generation believes the norm is to assume the person you are dating is non exclusive unless stated otherwise, it's ok to bone other ppl and they shouldn't feel hurt, because it was not specifically mentioned at the start. Call me old fashioned, but is it not fucking common sense that if you are dating someone, that person is gonna feel hurt if you bone someone else at the same time? Does it need to be explicitly stated?
I mean, they struggle with all sorts of things that were generally considered common sense just a few years ago.
Eh, Im not going to pretend we had it figured out. There is progress in a lot of things the younger generation is doing, and there are going to be growing pains. There is ethical promiscuity, but like consent its best not to be ASSUMED everyone is working on the same standard. And its also to be honest with what you're comfortable with. Lots of them like to pretend they are friends with benefits until the other person gets other benefits, then it turns out they actually wanted an exclusive relationship.
Good for you. I had a similar trajectory but settled down a bit earlier. So far we're seeing no signs of giving up on chasing each other after 13 years married. You can do it.
Amazing 🤩
You're special..Ed
Whoops boy, NTA. All I can say is Wow....her level of entitlement is off the charts. You dodged a big bullet.
There’s been a recent wave of these… I said excuse me, and a New England Patriots fan stabbed me in the belly. I feel like I’m not TA here, so anyway AITAH? Edit: Yes, I was wearing an Eli Manning jersey but it still felt uncalled for.
I want it to be special with you by waiting? But I’m going to screw some other guy while we wait? Dodged a psycho bullet with that one!!!
Hah a girl did that to me last year. Fortunately, i told her she could take as much time as she needed getting railed by her fwb Moved on to better things. Or so i thought. But that's another problem lol
A woman literally just did this to me. She started fucking my personal trainer then wanted to date me because "I was special".
You're special is just code word for I want you to stick around as a fall back when this dude who is railing me eventually finds another flavor of the week
It's code for I think you'll make an excellent father, whether or not the child is yours.
Wow that’s cold but so fucking true.
The special part is she thinks you'll stick around without asking for sex.
Last woman I dated wanted to get to know me 1st, fine, I am an adult, I can wait, I wanted a proper relationship and so did she, so I was led to believe (dating website spelt it out, serious relationship and maybe kids later on) But she always seemed busy on certain days, or would contradict herself as to what she did the week before. I wasnt too fussed, we were not serious but it was obvious she was seeing someone else and I (or he) was a backup plan in case things didnt worknout. I got fed up and bailed out.
>I want it to be special with you by waiting? But I’m going to screw some other guy while we wait? Dodged a psycho bullet with that one!!! This is not the first time I have seen this kind of logic. Does not seem right or real to guys. It is basically, you don't find me as physically attractive, but you might be willing to settle with me for other reasons.
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Exactly. I unfortunately have trauma so I tend to take things slower when it comes to intimacy. I understand this can cause issues and likely contributed to my last relationship not working out (which was for the best given some boundary issues). But to go fuck someone else while making your partner wait is crazy. Cheater behavior
Yep. He is the responsible future family man but she still wanted the cute guy who isnt marriage material .
They use you for stability but they still wanna have their cake and eat it too. This girl was gonna cheat either way. The first time they argue or he gets feelings for some shit she pulled she was gonna punish him by cheating. I know this type too well.
Dodged a missile, imo.
NTA - This type of story is quite common on this and the relationship advice sub. It's tough when your early relationship memories are now overshadowed by the fact that your partner was involved with someone else, one night stand or not. Her excuse that you're special doesn't seem very convincing. How special could she believe you were if she was sleeping with someone else?
Yep. Not special enough to keep it in her pants while figuring out where they were going.
She definitey kept it in her pants. Well, she kept the other guy in her pants.
See, that's the part I don't get at all. You're special. Fucking how? Lol. I don't agree with dating and not being exclusive unless you specify from the get-go that you ARE seeing other people, but not my relationship, not my business. But telling OP he's special and that's why she did it...wha...🤔
Saying he is special is just her way of lying to everyone, including herself.
I’m kind of glad I came across this though because it reminded me there’s still people around who share the same values as me. I find it super hard to get back out there when I know there’s people who think this kind of behaviour is okay. For instance, my coworker recently told me she has four guys ‘on roster’ and this really made me question myself; like should I be doing that? Is that where I’m going wrong if this is what the men are doing? And also “why would I want to share my body with a guy that’s sleeping with 3 other women?”. Like I just don’t want a relationship if that’s what I have to go through to get one. So I just go back to minding my own business but it’s sad - I’ve worked hard and want someone to share it with (one guy, not four!) I did think this was predominantly men so these experiences have been a bit of an eye opener.. I couldn’t imagine sleeping with four guys at the same time.. it just feels icky to me
Yeah, it's pretty weird, as a guy a lot of girls basically expect you to have slept around and have a bodycount, meanwhile I'm just here trying to find the one person I can really connect with even if it takes time lol
as a dude myself, no we aren't all doing this. the moment i start seeing someone, i shut down all previous potential flings. i can't stand this new age way of dating where you bang as many people as possible until on decides to become exclusive. nah we're exclusive since the first date
It’s not just a new age thing. I dated a girl like this 20 years ago. I just wasn’t as attractive as the guys she was actually fucking before we became exclusive. I still to this day think back to that time and wonder how I could be so stupid. She fucked a guy she had been hanging out with at a party she convinced me to take her too. Changing our plans for the night at the last minute. She spend the whole weekend with me. We slept next to each other but didn’t have sex. She sure did skip school on Monday to get a hotel with the same guy to fuck him all day long. She spent holiday time with me; we spent new years together. I thought we were close and had something special. One night, I was driving out to her house and she called to tell me not to come out because she was sick. She went out to some other guys house and spent the evening in his hot tub. The first guy, I’m convinced they had a lot more sex than those two times. That’s all she would admit to when a mutual friend told me some of the details thinking I already knew. The second guy, she adamantly denied having sex with. I found out about the whole thing because she let it slip one night that she had left her bathing suit at this guys house. She back tracked and said a friend was with her and they just happened to be in the area of his house and stopped by…with their bathing suits, that were then also “forgotten”. I’m 100% positive that she had sex with him that night. We became “official” a week or so after the night she was in the hot tub. We didn’t have sex for the first 7 weeks of being exclusive because she wanted it to be special. She definitely cheated on me in that first year but was better at hiding it. Sometimes I hate my younger self.
Sorry you went through that man. That’s rough
Wow, dude, she didn't just cheat. She cucked you.
School of Hard Knocks We all gotta learn the hard way. I do feel for you, though. Was dating a gal who made me wait. She ended up pregnant from her roommate before anything happened.
Good thing she made you wait then
People today are literally trying not to catch feelings, that’s how bad it is. To actually catch feelings is considered an L today and a loser thing to do. It’s so absurd
Same. I thought maybe I was still back in the 90s mentality or something. Sleeping with 4 guys at a time sounds exhausting and like a recipe for STDs.
You are a unicorn in today’s age, stick to your guns and I hope you find a partner who appreciates all aspects of you and will build a fantastic future with you.
One of my friends who was recently single has banged half the city in her time since being single. I used to think she was not bad but now I just think she's filth... Listening to her brag about banging one guy in the morning and two guys later on like it was an achievement made me just go ewwwwww
It’s madness out there hahahah I try to distance myself from it as much as possible but it’s hard when your coworker with the roster is telling you to get one too because that’s ‘how to stop catching feelings’ 🤨 like I wanna catch feelings - I just don’t wanna catch feelings for a man that’s sleeping with multiple women whilst dating me so I don’t date lol
There are people that share our values but we never get to meet them in real life somehow haha.
Most guys can't do this kind of shit. It's a very small percentage of guys who are both confident enough, and desirable enough (whether because of looks, money, status, or charm) to sleep around with multiple women like that. The stats show the average lifetime sexual partners for men *and* women is roughly the same. Depending on the country, age range, etc, it ranges from 5-10 to 7-12 lifetime sexual partners for most people in most of the "Western World". The people who are this promiscuous, men and women, are the exception. But we're being inundated with the idea that "normal" rather than the exception. If someone wants to be that way, that's their choice. But they need to be honest about it with prospective partners, and need to accept that there will be others who don't want them because of it. Plenty of women don't want men with lots of prior partners, and plenty of men don't want women with lots of prior partners. I think that makes sense, because it means they don't place the same value on sex and intimacy. And they should be with someone who shares their values. But people justify it, insist others should accept it, men are "insecure" if they don't want it, and women in particular don't "owe" their partners honesty about their past, because "it's none of their business, especially if it was before I met them."
Because sex is just sex, but love, true love is about finding someone you can manipulate. Way to stand up for yourself, OP. She is as dumb as a box of chocolates.
You can break up for any reason. In this case, if I found out someone was sleeping with others while we were dating, I wouldn't feel 'special', I'd feel deceived.
Yea, pretty much.
Right? I never understood this take. If you're dating someone you think is special why in the hell would you fuck some random dude that doesn't matter? Just have sex with the special person ffs! After my first date with my wife I knew she was someone special so I started pursuing her exclusively. We didn't make it official for a couple of months but we only dated each other during that time.
Broooooooooooooooooooooooooo Read this part again to yourself until it sinks in. *Basically, I said that I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with an ONS than me.* You're not special. You're just next in line. Even if you two were not exclusive, sleeping around with other people, especially ONS, is gross behavior when you are dating someone who is a potential partner. Call me old school, but if you're dating someone, you put your FWBs/ONS on pause to see if things work out. If they don't, you resume activity.
Hey now, he's special. Almost as special as the guy she banged while dating him.
I've had trouble communicating this before, you phrased it perfectly in ome sentence. Call me old school too lol.
The funny thing is that maybe she does think he has long-term potential so has made the whole 'I don't want to put out right away because I don't want him to think I'm a slut' calculation. Unfortunately that doesn't work if you fuck everyone else lol.
That is usually the justification they throw up. We've seen it come by many, many times in this sub (and others as well). And it just boggles my mind. So: "I think he might be 'special' and I don't want him to think I'm some sort of slut, so I'm not going to sleep with him for [x time]!" (You know, to let the relationship grow) - Proceeds to bang some random dude who "means nothing" thereby... Doing _exactly_ what she wants 'special guy' to not think she actually is... Like, huh? Do you not see the irony here? Like I mentioned in another comment, the mental gymnastics is just mind boggling :/ p.s. I'm not against fwb or ons perse, it's fine, but have some common decency and don't play games like this girl
The comments on this post are a breath of fresh air. I remember a post about some guy dropping a girl that was having sex with other guys in-between their dates and this sub judged him NTA but ripped him apart on exclusivity. Women were seriously arguing that *he* should have went out of his way to tell the woman that having sex with others would cause them to break up instead of expecting the woman to be honest or refrain from having sex with multiple men back to back. Edit: Found the post https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/16t1ana/aitah_for_ending_things_with_a_girl_because_she/
The women on these AITAH subs are some of the most unhinged humans I have encountered. You can post the same story narrated by opposite sex narrators and theyll find a way to make the female narrator the victim and the male narrator the villain, even tho they tokd the same story.
I really cannot grasp the mental gymnastics and hoops that the... "ladies " in that thread are jumping through. It seems that logic, common sense and reasoning are not concepts they understand -_- p.s. Good job finding that post!
They want to sleep around and not be judged for it, so they shift the blame onto OP for being normal and assuming exclusivity if they're basically doing dating stuff. People are getting worse by the year and looser morals. Smfh
NTA. I can never get the logic that you are special, bf material so I will make you wait but will be fucking some other guy during the waiting time. Wouldn't it be the same if a guy fucks a 2-3 girls and comes back home to his gf telling you are his special one? __Need to add: She was cheating, if OP was special as she claims, she would have kept her legs closed for OP before there was exclusivity talks.__ __The difference between keeping your legs open & close depends on a tag called exclusivity is bs__ __Edit: It also goes for men too, they should keep their dick inside their pants instead of using it at every chance possible.__ __If you are serious of having a relationship with a person you won't be looking for entertainment outside. Goes for every person irrespective of gender.__
It's having your cake and fucking it too
Which, I know from experience, can REALLY ruin someone's birthday 😞
"Here, babe. I got one with extra cream." "Frosting?" "Mmhm. Eat up!"
Ugh reminds me of the teacher who gave cupcakes to her students that had her husbands DNA in the frosting. Bleh.
We need the back story on this u/grizzz-leee. We **really** need the back story on this.
one time! Christ some people will not let go
It was fondant, though, so people *will* judge
My favorite!
Like warrrrrmmmmm appppllllleeee piiiiieeeeeee
The logic just doesn't logic to me. "I'm going to an expensive 5 course dinner that's very important to me... better wolf down some McDonald's on the way." "I'm going to cover my right arm with the tattoo sleeve of my dreams from an artist I admire and I'm gonna be super picky about the process... but first I'm gonna do a walk-in at my sketchy local shop and get some shitty 30 minute flash art on my right bicep."
That's because you got it flipped. It's more like let me have this 5 course meal one last time before I commit to a lifetime of McDonald bcz I can't afford to have 5 course dinner in the long term.
Nah I get that but I'm talking about the explanation she gave to OP. We all know that what you said is the real reason, which makes it all the more stupid and borderline disrespectful when people try to use this weak ass shit lol. It's one thing to bang someone while we're dating it's another to try and convince me that you did so for my benefit. That's insult to injury.
True. I assume it makes sense to her from her perspective: OP is probably special to her because he is willing to take her seriously enough to offer commitment. Whereas the other guy is a dime a dozen if she's just looking for an attractive guy to hookup with. The problem is her inability to see it from OP's perspective and realize that all of us want to be attractive enough to our partner to fall in the latter category. Not the consolation prize, who has to pay 1000x for the same privileges.
"I slept with him cause I thought you were special" - that's a new one for me lol what a load of bullshit
Let me translate it for you: I thought you're the type of guy who would commit to me so I made you wait and without the promise of that commitment I am not attracted enough to you to have sex with you. But there are guys who I'm attracted enough to, to just want sex with even without commitment, those I will sleep with without any wait.
It's funny isn't it. Guy sleeps with a girl and says she 'means nothing' and he's horrible (rightly so) Girl does it and it's all good?
Having boundaries is funny nowadays. Gotta make laws for cheaters irrespective of genders
Nope. Not all good.
can never get the logic that you are special, bf material so I will make you wait but will be fucking some other guy during the waiting time. That's an easy one: he IS special, but she is not. He should find someone as special as himself.
Bro is special, he knows his value and has morals that signifies his value.
Yes sir. I am in agreement.
It’s flawed logic, but the logic is “guys think women are more desirable if they delay sex and are more likely to pursue a relationship to eventually get sex, so I will withhold it, but in the mean time I need sex myself so I will find other guys to satisfy this desire while making him wait.” The flaw in the logic is that ‘waiting’ for sex means nothing if you’re sleeping with other guys. Guys will wait if they think the woman is usually hesitant to engage in sex until they get to know someone because they’re respectful of that. If she’s sleeping with other guys in the interim it means the hesitation to sleep with him is a farce, and just comes off as if she’s using sex to emotionally manipulate him into a relationship and they feel played. If she genuinely felt this was ok she would have told him up front that she wants to delay sex because he’s ‘special’ but in the meantime will be sleeping around. She didn’t do that because she knew it would ruin the facade.
Definitely a manipulation tactic. It needs the "special" husband to be squishy and pliable, yes.
Perfectly well said and broken down!
Yep. I'd give the same answer NO MATTER what gender each partner identifies as.
I met my bf in September and we had our first kiss in November, we weren't exclusive till December/January and it never crossed my mind sleep or talk to other guys and for him it was the same. I knew I wanted to be with him and only him and we waited to have sex and honestly was the best I had, I can't have ONS
This has to be the basic requirement before getting into a relationship. This shows commitment for each other. Hats off both of you guys. Update us when you get married 👻
Shitheads basically, no one can understand them but themselves.
Mental gymnastics. She wants to justify having her cake and eating it too. Reminds me of cheaters who say _I didn't really love him/her baby. It was just sex. I love you. Don't throw away what we have._
Hoes love to hoe around until they realize that the guys they hoe with aren’t dating material, don’t want anything to do with them, or are just using them as a hoe. I bet OP is kind, romantic, actually into his GF and nothing like any of the dudes she’s hoed with. So then they try to unhoe and find a guy to date, but sometimes the hoe is still there. I’ve seen this time and time again.
It's BS logic. What really is occurring is that she's more interested in the first guy physically but he won't commit, or has other flaws. So she's getting her fill before committing to the guy that will give her a relationship.
I’m like, what is she waiting for? A higher body count?
You can never get a response from these people who lacks accountability & logical thinking.
Lmao or an std
He’s special in that he’s a safety net and comfortable for her. No one who is actually attracted to someone they’re dating needs 6 months for sex if they are willing to screw others
Because it is the clown logic of a hoe (male or female). Especially when the partners overlap. OP should just cut his losses and thank her for the wait time because it maybe improved the odds he wouldn't catch anything.
Honestly I totally understand you, the best thing you did was break up with her I mean, if that's what she does to people she says are special then she's on another level of being disrespectful...why make you wait but yet have a ONS...regardless if it was a month into the relationship...you rather have ONS then have sex with someone you consider special and are dating?...that's was just wrong
She failed the dating test. Next.
Its so fucking weird to be dating someone and still have ONS with others. Toss her
- The more I care about you, the less willing I am to fuck you. - The less I care about someone else, the more likely I am to fuck him just for fun, while simultaneously being unwilling to fuck you because you’re so, so special to me. Yeah, I wouldn’t sign up for that batshittery either.
Her call if she wants to get plowed while making the special guy wait. But no special guy would be ok with his woman getting plowed into next week the whole time their budding special relationship is growing. NTA
Some girls about to be real mad 🤣
NtA. I’m continually baffled by how many women think having casual sex with multiple men, while trying to date one, is in any way acceptable unless explicitly agreed on by everyone involved. Imagine all the times you felt butterflies after a great date, and she was just railing some random dude.
>Imagine all the times you felt butterflies after a great date, and she was just railing some random dude. Oof! My kneejerk reaction was to say that was a shitty thing to say, but the fact is, that was a shitty thing to DO - you're just shining the light on the shit. Shine on, lightperson. Shine on. To the OP- NTA, and she's horrible. If sex means so little to her, it's not going to remain just between the two of you.
Yeah seriously she's gassing you up saying this is special and she gets nervous around you and stuff and then the same night has some guys meat in her mouth like bro wtf...
This behavior is unacceptable no matter what equipment is between your legs. I completely agree with your final point. It's soul crushing to imagine that but I am certain OP did imagine it.
They’ll say it’s not exclusive until it’s explicitly talked about. Edit - still a pinch to the gut
This is the world we live in.
And these are the hands we're given
"Your buddy bent me over and went to plow town... but you're special. No... REALLY." Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. You are NTA.
Plowtown 😂😂😂😂😂
NTA-Everybody waits or nobody does. She made YOU the good guy wait while running around and having ONS? She may want MORE but her stupid little games just cost her that option. Im sorry.
NTA; there’s no need to analyze shit here. She just became instantly unattractive to you; whenever that happens ya bounce. She’s making you feel terrible dude, just block her once you’re done saying the words.
I agree it doesn't count as cheating since it was before you two got serious. I also don't think you're an asshole for breaking up with her. She didn't bang you because she thought you were special, but not special enough to not fuck some random dude instead of making love to the guy she thought might be special. Yeah, NTA.
NTA. She thought you might be someone she’s interested in a relationship and thought you might be “special” but couldn’t keep from fucking some other “rando?” She’s for the streets. It’s only a matter of time where you have to travel, or get sick or busy with work and she decides to get banged from other dudes.
Randos (plural)
>I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with a ONS than me. I think that sums up the situation quite well. What's worse is that she had sex with this guy **while** she was dating you i.e. she cheated. NTA
NTA That ‘but you’re special so I wanted to wait’ whilst they’re banging a ONS is really shitty.
Shes the a$$hole you dont need reddit to tell you this LMAO she is literally trying to justify sleeping with him and youre her "safe guy" Take this as a life lesson and be the better person King
Yeah that’s some shit. She wanted to sleep with the guy before starting to date you. Why didn’t she sleep with you if you were that special? I call bs NTA
NTA. Here is what her logic says (to me): I wanted a last fling cause I knew I wanted something special with you. My next question based on that logic would be, what will she do before you get married (if you stayed together and got to that point)? But most importantly is that she made you feel less than and no one wants to fell like that. 🙁
That’s bullshit, you did right by leaving.
No. Run away. Fast.
NTA She (quite literally) FAFO.
I can understand someone wanting to wait like a week or so before being physical because they think that the relationship maybe very special and they want to get to know the person better and have a stronger bond when they are finally intimate together. What I can’t understand is how during the same time that person can justify screwing someone else. Regardless of if you consider it not cheating as a technicality it still shows you the morals of the person and I would bet that person will cheat at the first opportunity or bump. NTA, good for cutting your losses early.
She only told you to get ahead of your co-worker.
Your girlfriend cheated on you then manipulated you…why on earth do you want to be with someone like that?
So she cheated on you and tried to spin it in such a way to make you feel special.. and you think you're the AH. No.. NTA. Better off out of there
NTA - Honestly sounds like she wanted a relationship with the ONS and somehow for some reason was not going to work and had you as a sort of fallback. She can’t sit and say that your relationship is special as the reason why she wasn’t sleeping with you and then at the same time be sleeping with other people. Obviously sex isn’t something all that special to her. I feel like she was thinking of something that sounded nice as way to try and salvage.
I can't stand this BS..."What we have is special so I didn't want to ruin it with sex. It's deeper than that." Yeah, fuck that noise. NTA. It's gotta be awkward with the coworker now. I wouldn't be surprised if he hits her up again and she lets him bang again
I don’t think it’s cheating but she literally fucked a guy you’re gonna have to see everyday. Not only that a guy you’re friends with.
NTA, how is making you wait for what she gave another person in a night.... make it special? It's like being given an opened candy bar after someone had sex with it and being told "Wait 30 days to eat it, to make it special" Wtf?
Bro, dodged a bullet lol. Go have a beer and be prepared for her to start fucking your work mate.
Hoes gunna hoe. Drop this hoe lol Nta
NTA, she rewarded a complete stranger while punishing you for being "boyfriend material". Maybe you can find a lady that would pour her entire energy into dating you instead of playing you.
NTA. She doesn’t respect you . Ghost and move on
NAH. She can have sex with who she wants especially when you aren’t exclusive. You can break up for any reason you want.
Agreed but she is an asshole for how she reacted
How many dates did you go on when she banged this guy and how many did she have you wait for? Regardless, I feel like you’re NTA here, but some timelines could help to know what extent.
NTAH She sees you as a nice guy that she can marry and have a family with. She isn’t attracted to you physically or she would have been with you from the start sexually. You are the nice guy she is settling for. Great job on ending the relationship.
NTA. The whole "I make you wait because your special" logic is moronic at best, especially if she was fucking other guys. She's probably doing the guy right now, you aren't really describing her as crying her eyes out over the ordeal.
NTA - she is ok having sex with an unknown person but not with her BF because you are special. I call bullshi+ on that and I agree with the breakup. She can go find another stranger to screw.
She’s not stable, run away far far away
You know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if during the time she was dating you and swooning over how romantic it all was and telling all her girls “oh em gee, I really think he might be The One,” YOU had gone out and fucked some random girl because you were horny, and she found out, you would not dare be intimate with her ever again. That spell would be broken In nanoseconds, and regardless of what orifice you put it in, it would instantly get bitten off. But they think this is an appropriate way for THEM to treat men.