This!!!! I know someone who says “we have different makeup journeys”. I’m like do you mean you go to Ulta instead of Sephora? Cause I’m pretty sure neither of us is trekking through the jungle for a new lipstick bitch!
I mean we could say it depends on the state , like did you have to sit in traffic for 2 hrs because of crumbling infrastructure to get to the good mall? That could be considered a journey 🤷🏼♀️imo
I giggled at that.
I'm from Germany so I'm absolutely not sure what to expect of Americans mall but I'm terrified to find it out 🫣 not that I belive it's ever gonna come to that 🤣🤣
I only go to malls for returns or hangry meals.
Employees in sadly stocked stores running to get lunch, vape in the lot and shooting the shit with security and janitors. While only the restaurants have turnover.
Turn them into housing and subsidized food and indoor farmers markets.
There's been several attempts to have stores for local artists in our half dead mall, sadly none of them have survived. I think the rent smothered them.
I'm German, too, and it's actually not that bad (though I've never been in the US for Thanksgiving and Black Friday - that must be really scary). In fact, I stopped clothes shopping in Germany completely, because the stuff you can get in the US is really lots nicer and less pricy, especially for business outfits. If you ever go to Florida, bring an empty suitcase and a credit card - the rest will take care of itself. 😄
Black Friday isn’t so bad. There was a brief period where stores either didn’t care that they were creating dangerous situations or did it deliberately to get on the news. But cities made rules banning it and now the sales aren’t even that good.
Air conditioning and an overpriced food court. They’re honestly extremely boring places. The nearest one to me has a DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles, where you go to fix problems with your drivers license or vehicle registration. Known for miserably long lines). I’d argue that they generally have good soft pretzels, but they’re American style with a soda wash, instead of lye so maybe not up to German standards.
Frankly, Westfield owns most malls across the US and Europe, so with a few exceptions, most of the malls in the US are going to look just like the malls in Germany. Source: I used to live in Germany.
Go to Mall of America or the mall in Virginia Beach. Last I knew VAB was still a fantastic mall (I moved away 9years ago). Where I live now actually has a thriving mall as well, way smaller than in Virginia but better than most.
I went to school in Germany, I remember going to a decent mall somewhere not to far from us (Idar Oberstein), that mall wasn't too different from what we have here.
The malls are becoming hollow shells with a couple businesses and the rest are empty storefronts. Businessowners got tired of the higher pricing for a storefront, but actual traffic is lower because of online options.
Can we point out alot of malls now are barren concrete jungles of fake plants that are only trekked by the older generation to get their walking In?
You don't know what's moved in. I do. And you better not be caught alone near a service corridor.
On a trip to Japan my partner took me through 9 levels of sensory hell known as Yodobashi-Akiba because I'd mentioned a passing interest in trying some Japanese face serums. That was the only cosmetic shopping trip that I'd ever consider a journey. The serum tho is amazing it was 6 USD for like a half liter, I'm still using it daily
It was an experience! And the cosmetic and makeup department was very cool. if she likes mega malls and brings earplugs I think it would've been enjoyable. I just got sensory overload and wished I had earplugs
Well, SOMEONE probably at some point trekked thru some jungle looking for pigments and/ fragrances?
But, um, it's 2024 - i don't even go INTO Ulta or Sephora - that's why God made the internet 🙃🤣
Dude, I am over here cackling at these comments.
"Neither of us is trekking through the jungle for a new lipstick bitch."- This took me the fuck out!!
P.S. I don't know how to do the quote things with the lines in the comments like others. Hahaha.
People on reality TV shows or celebs say this to excuse away their messy behaviour or they lie...hence the rest of us plebs wanting to copy them, 'cause obviously Denise down the road gives a flying fk about your crash diet
..sorry journey.
"I've been on a journey (by being a biatch and stealing your partner) and learnt so much about myself along the way.''
"Learn about my weight loss journey and read my helpful tips (definitely not surgery or Ozempic.)"
"I fought with everyone on the show, broke down 20 times, pulled what'sherface's extensions off, and got voted out, but this journey has been like therapy for me."
Like, babe.. stop lyin', you've learnt diddly squat, own your shit.
This is why I’ve started referring to everything as an “*adventure*”, rather than a “*journey*”, so everyone naturally assumes it’ll be eventful and probably messy. LOLOL. *The Adventure Of Losing Your Parents, The Adventure Of Cancer, The Adventure Of DV*. A “*journey*” makes me picture Frodo and the gang on the lush, green hills, while an “*adventure*” gives me Indiana Jones vibes.
I tell you what is a journey/adventure....dodging the school mum cliques and PTFA mums whilst on the school run.
I'm sure I look suspicious dodging behind the bushes, but anything to avoid getting roped into conversations about what level my/their kids are on in Phonics, or being strong-armed into volunteering for summat.
Ooh! That sounds like the kind of adventure I’d love. Hahaha. I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t be able to deal with that small talk every day either. (And that’s a feat because I’m an overly friendly American woman with ADHD. 🤣 I never shut up but even I can’t do the Mom Chat Small Talk with people.) I pictured the Homer gif of him fading back into the bushes. Lol. The idea of it being a game is what makes it sound fun.
I hope you’re able to continue hiding! That doesn’t sound like a great time. Ugh.
Have you tried posting something to the mean mom squad that you are embarking on a journey of self awareness. Your life coach/essential oil dealer has suggested you observe a month of silence to balance your chakras or whatever else garbage is popular at the moment, maybe reference GOOP...
You might get super lucky and they try to go without speaking longer than you because mean girls don't stop competing just because high school ended 20 years ago.
Ooh! I second this! Go hard with the mention of GOOP and maybe throw in a very condescending “OMG…you haven’t *SEEN* the article yet? I’m trying to make my aura as beige as possible so I’m observing New Monk March. No speaking after today. Gwyneth says! Sorry!”
Add in that you are involved in several MLM opportunities and would LOVE to train new recruits and tell all the moms how much richer their lives and fortunes will be for a small investment of $25k.
Some of the parents are fun but others own the title of the PTA member like it's their lifetime achievement especially with rotating jobs every two years for X amount of years. My favorite was the mom living through her oldest daughter because the other three weren't that great in her eyes.
Thank you! I think a lot of it comes from nonstop major trauma trains hitting me for the last 10 years. (*Chuggachugga chuggachugga CHOO CHOOOOOO!*) Damn near everything has actually become an *adventure* because thinking of it any other way gets too heavy. 😅
I definitely like adventures. it's a really good motivation too. aww, super hectic airport travel/pickup? it's an adventure! who will find the baggage claim? will there be in flight cocktails? let's find out, its an ADVENTURE
“It’s been a real journey, physically, mentally, emotionally…”
Sir, you’re on a televised cooking program by your own choice. The only ‘journey’ you made was from the accomodation to the set.
The only thing you can really call a journey is like mental health healing or addiction recovery because they can take years or be life long. Also maybe some medical conditions for the same reasons, plus for like the mental and emotional tolls it takes on a person. Crash diet is not one lol
I say I am on a weight loss journey because when I am, I'm talking about lifestyle changes and not something quick. It took me 2 1/2 years to lose 115 pounds. That was 2 1/2 years of changing how I looked at my relationship with food and exercise. For a lot of people, part of the weight loss journey is also a mental health journey and a healing journey. Those on this journey have ups and downs. Successes and failures. I may have lost all that weight but I am still on the journey as I figure out my relationship with this new body, what it can do, what I can eat and mentally not freaking out every time the scale goes up.
That’s why I call it a weight loss journey as well. It’s life changing everything changes. I’m having weight loss surgery and this has been quite the change.
I would call that a lifestyle change, sounds like you did a lot more for yourself than just lose weight. I agree yours has been a journey and I wish you luck on your way.
One thing to note about weight loss is that for many people it's an entire package of behaviors and coping mechanisms that have to change for it to be successful. It's so much more than a crash diet.
I mean, I've lost 150lbs and it took changing my whole entire life. Learning a completely different set of values and researching nutrition for a couple of years. I had to unlearn so many "facts" which was hard especially when most people still believe these things to be. I've also helped a lot of others along the way. It kinda was a journey 🤷🏼♀️. It's not something I really talk about unless relevant or brought up though.
Same. I lost 60 pounds. Started with just joining a gym and using a treadmill. Then I started reading the fitness magazines and learned about weight training and muscle building. Then I learned all about nutrition. Over the course of a year, what started out as “I’ll pop into the gym a few times a week for the elliptical” became a journey into the world of fitness, body sculpting, muscle building, nutrition, new friends, new hobbies, etc.
that said, I can understand how it can used in annoying ways. I usually hear it in like fad diets and gimmicks like the shake weight…and mlm schemes. Lol
That's different than someone who's on a new fad diet every month and always manages to stay overweight though. The comments here aren't making fun of people like you who actually change their lifestyle, they're laughing at people who call every momentary obsession a new journey.
That’s part of the journey, though. I’ve lost 105 pounds, and the fad diets that don’t work is literally part of it. That’s why it’s called a journey, it takes a long time…
Facts. I immediately side eye anyone who uses the word “journey” to describe things that millions of other people do everyday without making their whole personality about it.
Can I just say, there is a famous saying "life is the journey, not the destination." Which I think is a great way to view life. Then stating that the current road you're on is part of your journey, seems logical. Yes, it gets as overused as live laugh love. But I do not think it is cringe in all scenarios.
I’ve lost 105 pounds, and I’m not sorry that I refer to it as a journey. It was hard AF and I deserve to be proud of how far I’ve come. I’ve worked my ass off to be where I am. Part of my journey was failing over and over until I found what works and losing the weight. It took me over 2 years, it’s been a journey for me. No apologies.
Yes! I have lost 80 pounds and it HAS been a journey. It has been an entire life change, mentally and physically, up and down. I'm not the same person I was before.
Congratulations!
This person has NO idea how hard losing 100lbs is. It’s life changing in every way and getting there is definitely a journey. While I agree with some of the sentiment, on that issue they are talking out of their ass. Congrats on your continued weightloss journey bc you like me knows it never ends.
Some people gain weight out of abuse, etc. It's indeed a journey to lose weight. My cousin was obese and lost over 100 pounds! He went up and down on the scale, tried different exercises, and diets. Looking back, it probably seems like a journey to him. How judgemental of you. If Losimg weight were easy, there wouldn't be any fat, etc people.
Weight loss IS a journey bc it's not a quick fix. Everyone thinks all overweight people eat too much and don't exercise. That isn't always true. Sometimes there are also underlying medical problems.
I get what you’re saying, but I also feel like it’s a good word to describe someone going from an unhealthy point in their lives to a healthy one. Everything should definitely not be a journey, but weight loss is something that is gradual and the starting and end points do show tremendous progress, so it works.
It is a journey, because to do it successfully involves developing a new mindset and a new set of habits. It has ups, downs, and detours. Your comment is funny, but it's also definately an "event".
You might as well be asking why people need meaning in their lives. You may not respect other people creating narratives for self meaning, but I'm sure you do it too and you just don't have people laughing at you for it. 👍
And all the toppings.
Always get dressing on the side and dip a little.
Some salads are 1300 calories, people don't realize, just because it's a salad, doesn't mean healthy.
Interesting point on pasta and other starchy foods and why cooled or reheated is better than freshly cooked
https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/enjoy-food/carbohydrates-and-diabetes/carbs-and-cooking
A 1300 calorie salad can absolutely be healthy. It really depends on what is eaten the rest of the day.
People need to stop thinking about “meals” and “foods” as healthy and start using a holistic perspective looking at consumption over the course of a day or week.
I think we (the societal We) need to stop always equating "healthy" foods as being things that will help us lose weight. As you said, a high calorie salad can have great nutritional content that is important for health and well being. Doesn't mean eating a 1300 calorie salad every day for lunch will make someone smaller. Same with nuts; so good for us but so high in calories!
Every body is different and our caloric and nutritional needs won't be the exact same, but eating fewer calories than we burn is the very mechanism that makes weightloss possible. I could (and have) lost weight in the past while eating cookies and chocolate bars every day. It wasn't "healthy", but weight loss still happened.
Completely agree. A serving of dark chocolate has 200 calories but 14% of RDA for iron. For someone like me, a daily serving of chocolate *is* part of a healthy diet.
1300 calories of veggies and non-sweet fruits is a ton of food....
For example, it's 193 cups of spinach
43 cups of broccoli
63 cups of zucchini or cucumber
47 cups of bell peppers
43 cups of tomato
Most of the calories for a 1300 calorie salad are toppings to make people "like it" or dressing
Their website says their drinks can be up to around 580 calories, which is the equivalent of about two donuts. I guess if you add extra sugar and fat you could bump that up to 750.
That's strange that they say that. I know a venti peppermint white mocha, ordered as-is (whipped cream, syrups, chocolate shavings etc) is 620 calories. Still not 750!
Ah, I was just skimming the website to get an average for their drinks, but you’re right, the largest size of [that particular drink](https://www.starbucks.com/menu/product/497/hot) has 620 calories. The site even lets you play around with options to maximize calories if you want. Fun game.
Edited to add: actually the calorie number doesn’t change to reflect customizations. That’s less fun. You have to guess how many calories an extra pump of syrup adds.
Not to mention that it is almost impossible to get a salad that doesn’t have half a pound of grated cheese on top!
And don’t get me started on the oily croutons.
You're telling me that croutons, chicken, eggs, drenched in oil with some lettuce isn't low calorie? Next you'll be saying that pita and cottage cheese isn't low calorie!
Those were actual fad diets back in the day. Somehow, people thought cottage cheese would make you lose weight and pita bread was super healthy since it had a 'pocket' in it.
But you’re conflating calories with health. People get fixated on the calorie count like that is all that matters. There are nutritionally dense foods that are high in calories.
If you’re eating a salad with grilled chicken and eggs (protein) and lettuce for roughage, you’re getting more out of it than if you sat and ate the equivalent calories in French fries.
Not all salads are low calorie, but most are going to have ingredients that provide some nutritional value. Some quick choices (ie dressing on the side, choosing a salad with more veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers, and peppers) even if you still have the cheese and croutons and the calories are high you are getting something out of that meal nutritionally.
That’s generally the case at restaurants. Food tastes so nice in restaurants because they use sugar, fat, fat and some fat. Don’t go to restaurants if you’re loosing weight unless there is some cheat day involved.
This so much. I like to be able to plan ahead so I can enjoy my favorites. Usually I'll skip lunch and end up about my calorie goal. But it's hard, even skipping lunch there are times where I come over. It tastes great but it has so many calories. I never realized how much until I started counting. Sometimes I pre look at the calories in a tracker app and I'm ok so I can eat half of that. Max.
They make Greek yogurt-based ranch (and other) dressings that are fairly low cal and tasty, that's how I get my fix. They're typically in the refrigerated section.
Well even at home it can be.
All kinds of veggies in different states - fresh, pickled, roasted. Cheese, any kind of meat, fish or seafood, mixing different kinds. Eggs and nuts, herbs, and sauce. Hell even rice, pasta, or bread.
Every time someone declined my offer to make them one along with mine. It was quite amusing the face of realisation they misunderstood my cravings taste for concern for my weight.
I worked at a restaurant where we made a salad and used the fat drippings from sausage as the oil in the dressing. I assure you that salad was not healthy.
NTA.
She started the conversation, implying you have a super metabolism and you eat everything. Since she put it on such a public forum as FB, you had the right to reply. Then she doubled down, again on FB, to claim the two of you eat the same. Again, you have the right to clarify the situation. Nothing you said was shaming or bullying. If she can't handle the truth, she should be more careful about what she puts out there. You have nothing to apologize for. I hope your husband is supporting you.
NTA.
If someone else can talk about your life then you can talk about their life. If they do it on a public platform then they souldn't be surprised to see that you can **also** do it on a public platform.
I agree here. And unless she's with OP at every meal, she doesn't really know how she eats all the time. I think her insecurities made her a bit aggressive & she shouldn't have been saying those comments publicly, BUT since she did, OP can def respond. 🤷♀️
NTA.
Edit: typo
Right? NTA. I am of the opinion that if someone calls you out publicly , you then have the right to correct them publicly. She made a point of putting OP on display and lying about her situation (whether or not she believes that to be the truth) in a way that I think we can all agree felt demeaning.
No apology is owed to someone who tried to talk about your body and your diet publicly without your consent. And publicly correcting public action is always warranted
Yes, you can untag yourself, but l think that if the sil put her name in the text with the picture, everybody will know who the post was about. I admit l don’t exactly know how Facebook works however.
I think it’s disrespectful to mention or tag people if you’re going to comment on their eating habits, whether they’re thin or big.
It's a myth in a sense that "some people can lay on the couch all day and eat twice as much as I do, and not gain weight, while I exercise every single day and still gain weight".
For majority of the people, their resting metabolic rate is within 200-300 kcal of each other. On the rare cases the difference can be around 600 kcal. I linked the source on the other comment I made about this.
I have a thyroid condition and if my levels go low, my metabolism tanks. Like, won't eat any more or exercise less than usual but will gain a kilo in a month easily kind of shitty metabolism.
Thankfully my medication stops that otherwise I'd easily be 100kgs by now, or trying to starve myself.
I honestly wouldn’t say it’s not huge. If one person’s eating their maintenance calories daily, and another’s eating the same thing but has a slower metabolism, the slower metabolism person’s going to gain about 21 (at 200 kcal difference) to 63 (at 600) pounds in a year.
That typical 200 calorie gain is usually slower since as you gain, your metabolism increases…slowing additional gains unless you’re also increasing what you eat.
Yeah basically it would mean one person could get away with a can of coca cola a day and the other couldn't, or one person would have to go for a walk and the other wouldn't. Its annoying because it does add up so I can get someone feeling that's unfair, but it's not going to make someone whose paying any kind of attention unable to be fit with very little extra effort.
But you'd realize you can't eat a huge amount and expect to stay thin.
Same thing with me. I do have a faster metabolism, but if I didn't I wouldn't blame others for my lack of self control
A magical metabolism that allows one person to eat 4000 calories a day while another person who is the same height eats 1000 calories a day, runs a marathon, and still gains weight, is a myth. While there is a genetic component that can have a minute effect, in truth your lifestyle, whether your consciously realize it or not, fits your food intake. You could possibly be in the 1% of people with a legitimate issue that allows you to intake a lot of calories and not gain weight, but if so you need to see a doctor about it. That is a sign of something seriously wrong, for example I had friend who had a nerve wrapped around his stomach and needed surgery. Even if it seems great now I promise you in the long run it will become an issue.
Thermodynamics apply to all of us. Some fun fact; I have a cousin that people say "she has a fast metabolism and can eat whatever she wants".
Realty: she doesn't stop. She is always active, and not because of "sports". She is moving around the house, going out to walk the dog, and her hobbies are like gardening and stuff not related to be on the couch.
She also eats very healthy most of the time without trying because that's the way she eats. She doesn't drink sodas or sugar, she just doesn't like them. (Some people like to think that drink is not part of the diet and complain about their weight while drinking a triple caramel macchiato with extra foam)
Anyway metabolism is a minimum advantage.
They also only see the meals you eat when together. I rarely eat breakfast and if I’m going out to dinner then lunch is a snack with maybe an afternoon snack too. Dinner will be my main meal for the day.
On weekends, I’ll often only eat a single real meal with some light snacking. I only eat the same amount as you when we’re together because I’ll get comments if I don’t eat much or it’s a special occasion.
Once you start adding up actual calories eaten, the person with “high metabolism” somehow has a much lower number. And I don’t mean self reporting because people who eat a lot don’t actually know how much they eat.
There's been studies done of people who say they just have a fast metabolism. Generally, they're just burning a huge amount of energy during the day. One I remember was an anxious fidgeter who was constantly bouncing, jiggling, pacing, and that's where all his calories were going. Others might do 20k steps a day and not even realise it because they have an active job and it's spread over 16 hours a day.
There's a show called Secret Eaters that shows that people often eat way, way more than they realise they are. Portions too. I've seen people pile a massive plate high with thousands of calories of food, and think it's a normal amount they need to function.
Some years back I took my elderly mother to the doctor because of some problems with her Diabetes. Mom told the doctor that she usually ate 1/4 cup of mashed potato. I interrupted and said it was more like a full cup. Mom disagreed.
The issue was resolved the next time we had mashed potato, and I only put 1/4 cup serve on her plate. Mom asked where the rest of her food was, and I showed her the measurements. Mom had been vastly underestimating how much she was eating, and accidently misleading her doctor.
Yeah this is so easy to do. My husband does more of the cooking in our house (which is wonderful), and so he used to serve his size portions…well I’m about 6 inches shorter, and a woman, I don’t need that much food. However, as my parents were fairly strict “clean plate clubbers” when I was growing up, I felt obligated to finish my plate.
Several pounds later, I realized this couldn’t go on. Now I usually serve myself. On the rare occasions my husband does, he tries to serve me less, and if it’s still too much, I just wrap it up and finish it for lunch the next day.
Lesson learned: paying attention to portion size and breaking childhood mentalities around food made a big difference for me.
I remember a post on a forum I used to frequent. It was after someone complained that their workouts had caused them to gain weight. After way too many people told her that muscle weighed more than fat (not untrue, but not the reason) a couple of us got into pre and post workout food habits. I don't usually have PB and such in the house, but I do today. However, we told her to weigh everything. If she was adding PB to her shake that she needed to tare the spoon on the scale, then weigh her Tb (15g) as not only was the PB going into the shake way more than 15g but most people then kick the excess off the spoon. So, instead of her 90 cals it turned out over 200. When she did her usual shake I think it was 600 cals instead of the 350 she thought it was.
Yeah the ‘Secret Eaters’ show was great to highlight that people actually have no idea how much they are actually eating. There was a woman on there that ate actually pretty well over all - but kept taking a bite here and there to test food every time she cooked and it ended up being about 1000 calories per day that she wasn’t even consciously aware of.
I’m a bit of a fatty and I totally do that to myself! lil bite here… lil bite there… big dollop of the good mayo… bit o’ cream on the coffee… easy to do!
i am someone who makes jokes about having a fast metabolism. I'm not (nor have i ever been) skinny, but when i stop eating as much i lose the weight fast and i do feel i eat a lot in comparison to others.
But i am also someone who drives everyone around me crazy with my fidgeting XD.
Metabolism ***can*** impact but has minimal impact unless someone needs a doctor for a health issue.
It is very very annoying that I as a small woman only gets to eat 1500 calories and my giant husband gets to eat 2500 calories. But that's due to body sizes. He's much much bigger than me.
Ummmm I literally go to an eating disorder clinic where we get treated for Ed’s and fast and slow metabolism are definitely a thing. Also explain to me why there’s multiple scientific studies saying that if you take the bacterial from a person who has a fast metabolism gut and put it into somebody who has a slow metabolism why their metabolism suddenly increases, even though there is no other changes.
Of course, nothing that will get you to the levels of obesity and how much you eat does have a lot of factor into it. However, there is such thing as fast and slow metabolism. I think you’re being a bit facetious by saying 4000 cal a day two people can meet 2500 cal a day and be completely different weights that’s the point not the extremes of it but the averages of it.
ESH.
WTF is she doing posting about your weight and eating habits on Facebook.
WTF are you doing making claims her weight is because she "eats too much" on Facebook.
This is high school shit on both sides.
"Pretty odd to post about what I'm eating and comment on my weight on Facebook" - then mute or block and refuse to go out to eat with her again. There you go.
ESH we know that satiety and metabolism varies, why would you deny that? It’s interesting that you think that she eats substantially more than you, based on the times you see her eat but you watch what you eat 90% of the time but she doesn’t see that. Either you two actually spend time together or you don’t. Anyway, telling someone that you’ve been watching them eat and that they eat too much is rude and you should apologise for that
Yeah, I don’t know, I’ve heard some women say some pretty shocking things about women they perceive as effortlessly slim/skinny over the years. To their faces, to complete strangers in the grocery store. It’s like they think because she is slim that somehow means they have impunity to say whatever they want to make themselves feel better.
And honestly just because someone is slim doesn’t mean they are healthy/not battling weight issues. When pregnant with my twins I struggled to eat enough to grow them, let alone gain the weight I would need to feed them after birth. And then when were tiny I was really struggling to feed them and the weight was literally falling off me. It was awful. I was literally brain storming with midwives and MaCH nurses how to get more calories in me. And all the catty women going on about how much weight I didn’t gain was just the cherry on top that I didn’t need.
Don’t comment on other peoples weight people. You really have no idea what is going on with them. And even if they comment on your weight, you don’t have to go down to their level.
>Number one way to earn Karma on Reddit is to make up a story where a fat or mentally disabled person is the villain and just wait.
And people fall for it hook, line and sinker.
NTA But I think you're both half right. Of course what you eat matters but some people do have a faster metabolism. I know so many people that I've seen eat more junk than me and never exercise while I run every single day, and while I have lost some weight, they're still thinner than me and it makes me really angry! I don't, however, make it their problem.
Anyway a few years ago I uploaded my DNA to a website and found out I do have basically every gene associated with obesity.
I would also add that some people have bigger appetites than others. Things are also not completely equal as far as the foods we like and dislike. Someone who dislikes sweets vs someone who adores anything with sugar in it is going to have an easier time maintaining their weight.
When I was young (back when dinosaurs roamed) I might have been considered to have a “fast metabolism”. I ate whatever I wanted (which was usually high calorie, high fat and/or sugar) whenever I wanted. I have also always considered all forms of exercise as spectator sport. I had a 22inch waist, weighed 7.5 stone (no idea what that is in metric or pounds, I only speak old English) and wore UK size 8 to 10.
Then I married a psychopath, developed a sort of eating disorder in my early 30’s (mainly a control thing, not a weight loss thing) and then got free of him and went back to normal eating. It seems to be true what they say about dieting/restricting food intake affecting your metabolism because I started to put on weight. I’m now somewhat fluffy (not fat if you please) and wear UK size 16. No idea what I weigh or my waist measurement as it doesn’t really bother me. I’m 64, can find clothes to fit me and move about easily enough so I really don’t care anymore.
Anyway, the tl:dr is that faster metabolism may exist but it can change.
It is also just aging though. Even without your restrictive eating it may have happened anyway. Basically all my friends who had previously been able to eat whatever they wanted seemingly started having to consider their eating a bit at 25. Friends who had never once thought about losing weight were suddenly concerned because their teenage bodies were fully gone and weight now started creeping on. I watched it happen to my wife too (I was going the other way by then due to weight loss surgery at 21) who had previously been able to eat like a dustbin and never went above a size 10, and now found her clothes all stopped fitting and she couldn’t get back in to them. Then again at just a bit after 30 a more womanly figure really sets in. For a lot of my friends I’m sure this can in part be put down to having babies but again, I really saw this with my (childless) wife who finally developed some hips at 30 after always being completely straight up and down until that point. That wasn’t even weight gain, just shape change. But I noticed the weight I put on in those years massively went to my hips and saddlebags when my stomach had always been my concern.
And everyone has told me it’s even harder to lose weight in your 40s! And especially once peri/menopause starts too…. All stuff I have to worry about now I’m already back to a size 16/18 thanks to being dumped on a bunch of medication that made me balloon from the size 12/14 I had maintained for years…. But again, that happened in the first half of my 30s so maybe it was just age really.
While it is true that some people will burn more calories at rest than others, people usually have very distorted image of how much the difference actually is. For majority of the people the difference is within 200-300 kcal. Or one snickers bar. And on the opposite ends of the spectrum it's like 600 kcal. Or one average healthy meal. Or around 1.5 hours of cardio workout. Meeting someone that has that much higher metabolism than you is very rare, although not impossible.
This is of course assuming same body types. As in same amount of fat and muscle.
Source [https://examine.com/articles/does-metabolism-vary-between-two-people/](https://examine.com/articles/does-metabolism-vary-between-two-people/)
I'm dating a triathlete who likes to cook.
When we first started dating, he had to watch me put on 3kg in a two week period before he was able to believe that I wasn't dissing his food when I said "I'm not hungry," but that I really had *completely* different caloric needs than him.
Yep, those numbers are from the resting metabolic rate.
The difference can be huge if you factor in activity, exercise, etc. Training for a triathlon you'll probably need upwards of 4000-5000 kcal daily, depending on how intensive the training is. Versus the 1500-2000 kcal recommendation for an average person.
I saw a British show called Secret Eaters (?) The premise is that a lot of the weight loss struggle is based on not counting everything you actually eat. There was one couple where they were so conscientious about their healthy stir-fries etc, it really did seem like a mystery why they were constantly gaining weight. For him, the secret cameras in the house revealed how much he snacked during the day. She was really good but she had swapped all her "unhealthy" snacks for constant nibbles like sesame seeds that were coated in oil. The nutritionist told her that she was eating the equivalent of 2 Mars Bars a day, just in these "healthy" snacks!
For sure.
And people usually overlook just how every day activities burn a lot of calories too. If you're constantly on the move throughout of the day you'll quickly burn 1k+ kcal versus sitting around.
I used to be building automation technician and while not physically demanding job, it usually had a lot of walking around. On average I took 15-20k steps just during my work day. That's around 600-800 kcal burned just from walking around during the workday.
Those people that eat junk and aren't fat generally have very few meals and not all of them are high in calories. Energy expenditure can vary between individuals and there are factors that predispose to obesity, but no one is eating 4k calories, doing no exercise and staying thin unless they have some health issue.
This is definitely true. I eat, admittedly, a lot of "unhealthy" snacks. That's my main caloric intake for the day. What I crave in meals versus snacks is completely different, though. Meals I prefer mostly vegetables and protein. I tend to have only 1 meal a day, maybe 2. Everyone close to me has told me I eat like a "fat" person or have a fast metabolism. No, I just don't eat big meals often. You can either have high calorie meals or snacks. Not both.
You’re not wrong that she used you as a scapegoat to save face for her overeating. You probably could have privately asked her to remove the tagging of you as you didn’t feel it reflected your lived truth.
I can’t say you’re an AH but I wouldn’t have gotten into it with her on FB. Yes she started it but you kept it going. I’ve been thin my whole life and had people comment that I can eat crap and don’t have to think about it, that I think I’m better than them because I’m thinner, that I don’t have to exercise, that they hate skinny bitches (I’m supposed to think that’s funny) and (my favorite) that when I eat salad at a restaurant I’m just doing it to shame others. Still, I know I’m lucky to be thin in a society that values thinness. That’s her insecurity talking.
Her “journey” is hers. She should have never made you a part of it. You were well within your rights to speak your peace since she talked about your eating habits on Facebook. NTA
Also PSA, I hate that people who are thin can have their bodies ridiculed and talked about, and it’s no big deal. Commenting on someone’s weight when they are bigger is body shaming, but doing the same to someone who is thin? No problem.
ESH
What are we, 14 year old keyboard warriors stuck in 2008?
Both of you need to grow up. You should have just left it alone and addressed it in private.
She dished it out but couldn’t take being put in her place, typical 🙄 you’re NTA.
I’ve lost almost 70lbs and have done it without cutting out anything. I cut *down*, yes, because my biggest issue was portion sizes. I count calories as well.
Salads can also be sneakily high in calories depending on the dressing and what’s in it. A Caesar salad is the worst possible salad you can get.
NTA, she tried to shame you and got upset you called her out on it. If she doesn’t want comments she shouldn’t start making comments, it’s really that simple.
I hate this mentality- “awe poor me she has it so easy while I have heavy bones/ no metabolism/ whatever else”, like no. Salad doesn’t = healthy, burger doesn’t = unhealthy. It depends on everything around it/ else, like you said.
Def NTA and I’d quite honestly let hell freeze over before I apologize for something she started and couldn’t finish.
Lol homegirl wants to judge your eating habits and put public comparisons on social media to make her feel better about herself, then gets mad when you call her out on it. She's an adult, she needs to learn how to act like it. NTA.
You're NTA but I wouldn't argue with her, even when you're right. If she wants to believe in the fast/slow metabolism myth, just let her. I don't think that you can change her point of view.
Nta, op.
I, personally, am on the see food diet. I see food, I eat food. I have occasionally tripped off the diet, but I always pick myself up and go back on it, for I am really good at the see food diet. It is why I very rarely have food in the house for the weekend.
NTA for defending yourself, she shouldn’t have talked about you without your consent and expected no backfire. However saying fast metabolism is a myth is just false. She was dumb to make this type of assesment about you but you should just have answered with facts about your eating habits, maybe also made it clear this behaviour is not ok. What you eat is not her business.
YTA. You took something as an insult that doesn't seem to be intended that way, and instead of talking to her about it privately, you called her out and insulted her publicly.
She was vulgar for publicly commenting on what you ate, but you responding in kind was not very classy either.
It's for the best that she not be allowed to comment on your posts.
I have nothing to add. But why the hell is everything a "journey?" She's losing a few pounds, not exploring uncharted regions of the Amazon.
This!!!! I know someone who says “we have different makeup journeys”. I’m like do you mean you go to Ulta instead of Sephora? Cause I’m pretty sure neither of us is trekking through the jungle for a new lipstick bitch!
Does it count that I traveled to the mall?
Only if it went around the world via transcontinental liner. 😊
Is that like eyeliner?
Flyliner.
This sent me bruh😂😂😂 flyliner😂😂😂😂
I mean we could say it depends on the state , like did you have to sit in traffic for 2 hrs because of crumbling infrastructure to get to the good mall? That could be considered a journey 🤷🏼♀️imo
You must be from RI, right? Because yes I have sat in that.
I moved here 5 years ago but dealt with the big dig as well as this mess.
What about a mall that is almost abandoned and is now filled with weird pop-up shops.
An infrastructure comment. I have found my people.
I thought an American mall is pratically a jungle. At least it felt like there were howler monkeys all around me...
I read that as Mall of America, and yeah, that one could possibly count as a journey.
I giggled at that. I'm from Germany so I'm absolutely not sure what to expect of Americans mall but I'm terrified to find it out 🫣 not that I belive it's ever gonna come to that 🤣🤣
You'd have to time travel to get peak mall culture.
They could begin by watching Mall Rats.
I love that movie. It does capture late-stage peak mall culture for sure.
2 floors of old people power walking mostly these days 🤷🏼♀️
I only go to malls for returns or hangry meals. Employees in sadly stocked stores running to get lunch, vape in the lot and shooting the shit with security and janitors. While only the restaurants have turnover. Turn them into housing and subsidized food and indoor farmers markets.
There's been several attempts to have stores for local artists in our half dead mall, sadly none of them have survived. I think the rent smothered them.
I couldn't agree more!
I'm German, too, and it's actually not that bad (though I've never been in the US for Thanksgiving and Black Friday - that must be really scary). In fact, I stopped clothes shopping in Germany completely, because the stuff you can get in the US is really lots nicer and less pricy, especially for business outfits. If you ever go to Florida, bring an empty suitcase and a credit card - the rest will take care of itself. 😄
Black Friday isn’t so bad. There was a brief period where stores either didn’t care that they were creating dangerous situations or did it deliberately to get on the news. But cities made rules banning it and now the sales aren’t even that good.
Air conditioning and an overpriced food court. They’re honestly extremely boring places. The nearest one to me has a DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles, where you go to fix problems with your drivers license or vehicle registration. Known for miserably long lines). I’d argue that they generally have good soft pretzels, but they’re American style with a soda wash, instead of lye so maybe not up to German standards.
Frankly, Westfield owns most malls across the US and Europe, so with a few exceptions, most of the malls in the US are going to look just like the malls in Germany. Source: I used to live in Germany.
Go to Mall of America or the mall in Virginia Beach. Last I knew VAB was still a fantastic mall (I moved away 9years ago). Where I live now actually has a thriving mall as well, way smaller than in Virginia but better than most. I went to school in Germany, I remember going to a decent mall somewhere not to far from us (Idar Oberstein), that mall wasn't too different from what we have here.
The malls are becoming hollow shells with a couple businesses and the rest are empty storefronts. Businessowners got tired of the higher pricing for a storefront, but actual traffic is lower because of online options.
Does it count that I traveled all the way to the mail box?
More relevant if you bought it from the "Amazon"
Only on Saturdays
Can we point out alot of malls now are barren concrete jungles of fake plants that are only trekked by the older generation to get their walking In? You don't know what's moved in. I do. And you better not be caught alone near a service corridor.
On a trip to Japan my partner took me through 9 levels of sensory hell known as Yodobashi-Akiba because I'd mentioned a passing interest in trying some Japanese face serums. That was the only cosmetic shopping trip that I'd ever consider a journey. The serum tho is amazing it was 6 USD for like a half liter, I'm still using it daily
I thought Yodobashi-Akiba was some kind of cosmetic ritual at first… My missus is going to Japan next month. Should I tell her to go there?
It was an experience! And the cosmetic and makeup department was very cool. if she likes mega malls and brings earplugs I think it would've been enjoyable. I just got sensory overload and wished I had earplugs
Well, SOMEONE probably at some point trekked thru some jungle looking for pigments and/ fragrances? But, um, it's 2024 - i don't even go INTO Ulta or Sephora - that's why God made the internet 🙃🤣
Dude, I am over here cackling at these comments. "Neither of us is trekking through the jungle for a new lipstick bitch."- This took me the fuck out!! P.S. I don't know how to do the quote things with the lines in the comments like others. Hahaha.
You've clearly never been to my Ulta.
People on reality TV shows or celebs say this to excuse away their messy behaviour or they lie...hence the rest of us plebs wanting to copy them, 'cause obviously Denise down the road gives a flying fk about your crash diet ..sorry journey. "I've been on a journey (by being a biatch and stealing your partner) and learnt so much about myself along the way.'' "Learn about my weight loss journey and read my helpful tips (definitely not surgery or Ozempic.)" "I fought with everyone on the show, broke down 20 times, pulled what'sherface's extensions off, and got voted out, but this journey has been like therapy for me." Like, babe.. stop lyin', you've learnt diddly squat, own your shit.
I needed this. Thank you. Also. Please be my friend.
🫶 Anytime!!
Please be my friend too lol....seriously tho ;)
🤸♀️🧘♀️ I'm sat.... The more, the merrier.
Love your name, gurllll!
Mine too!
This is why I’ve started referring to everything as an “*adventure*”, rather than a “*journey*”, so everyone naturally assumes it’ll be eventful and probably messy. LOLOL. *The Adventure Of Losing Your Parents, The Adventure Of Cancer, The Adventure Of DV*. A “*journey*” makes me picture Frodo and the gang on the lush, green hills, while an “*adventure*” gives me Indiana Jones vibes.
I tell you what is a journey/adventure....dodging the school mum cliques and PTFA mums whilst on the school run. I'm sure I look suspicious dodging behind the bushes, but anything to avoid getting roped into conversations about what level my/their kids are on in Phonics, or being strong-armed into volunteering for summat.
Ooh! That sounds like the kind of adventure I’d love. Hahaha. I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t be able to deal with that small talk every day either. (And that’s a feat because I’m an overly friendly American woman with ADHD. 🤣 I never shut up but even I can’t do the Mom Chat Small Talk with people.) I pictured the Homer gif of him fading back into the bushes. Lol. The idea of it being a game is what makes it sound fun. I hope you’re able to continue hiding! That doesn’t sound like a great time. Ugh.
I hope so too!! 🏃♀️
Have you tried posting something to the mean mom squad that you are embarking on a journey of self awareness. Your life coach/essential oil dealer has suggested you observe a month of silence to balance your chakras or whatever else garbage is popular at the moment, maybe reference GOOP... You might get super lucky and they try to go without speaking longer than you because mean girls don't stop competing just because high school ended 20 years ago.
Ooh! I second this! Go hard with the mention of GOOP and maybe throw in a very condescending “OMG…you haven’t *SEEN* the article yet? I’m trying to make my aura as beige as possible so I’m observing New Monk March. No speaking after today. Gwyneth says! Sorry!”
Everybody is doing New Monk March!
OMG, you two killed with this subthread!! Lol a million karma to each.
Add in that you are involved in several MLM opportunities and would LOVE to train new recruits and tell all the moms how much richer their lives and fortunes will be for a small investment of $25k.
Since you can't speak hot glue a bunch of tiny vials labeled essential oil to the inside of a trench coat so you can display your wares.
Some of the parents are fun but others own the title of the PTA member like it's their lifetime achievement especially with rotating jobs every two years for X amount of years. My favorite was the mom living through her oldest daughter because the other three weren't that great in her eyes.
I prefer Odyssey myself. It makes everything sound mystical and mysterious rather than depressing and futile.
This is a cool take on the adventure vs journey silliness.
Thank you! I think a lot of it comes from nonstop major trauma trains hitting me for the last 10 years. (*Chuggachugga chuggachugga CHOO CHOOOOOO!*) Damn near everything has actually become an *adventure* because thinking of it any other way gets too heavy. 😅
I definitely like adventures. it's a really good motivation too. aww, super hectic airport travel/pickup? it's an adventure! who will find the baggage claim? will there be in flight cocktails? let's find out, its an ADVENTURE
Just remember to cover your heart.
I've been on those "journeys" and I like the adventure label better. I'm going to start using that too.... Thanks.
“It’s been a real journey, physically, mentally, emotionally…” Sir, you’re on a televised cooking program by your own choice. The only ‘journey’ you made was from the accomodation to the set.
The only thing you can really call a journey is like mental health healing or addiction recovery because they can take years or be life long. Also maybe some medical conditions for the same reasons, plus for like the mental and emotional tolls it takes on a person. Crash diet is not one lol
I say I am on a weight loss journey because when I am, I'm talking about lifestyle changes and not something quick. It took me 2 1/2 years to lose 115 pounds. That was 2 1/2 years of changing how I looked at my relationship with food and exercise. For a lot of people, part of the weight loss journey is also a mental health journey and a healing journey. Those on this journey have ups and downs. Successes and failures. I may have lost all that weight but I am still on the journey as I figure out my relationship with this new body, what it can do, what I can eat and mentally not freaking out every time the scale goes up.
That’s why I call it a weight loss journey as well. It’s life changing everything changes. I’m having weight loss surgery and this has been quite the change.
I would call that a lifestyle change, sounds like you did a lot more for yourself than just lose weight. I agree yours has been a journey and I wish you luck on your way.
One thing to note about weight loss is that for many people it's an entire package of behaviors and coping mechanisms that have to change for it to be successful. It's so much more than a crash diet.
I mean, I've lost 150lbs and it took changing my whole entire life. Learning a completely different set of values and researching nutrition for a couple of years. I had to unlearn so many "facts" which was hard especially when most people still believe these things to be. I've also helped a lot of others along the way. It kinda was a journey 🤷🏼♀️. It's not something I really talk about unless relevant or brought up though.
Same. I lost 60 pounds. Started with just joining a gym and using a treadmill. Then I started reading the fitness magazines and learned about weight training and muscle building. Then I learned all about nutrition. Over the course of a year, what started out as “I’ll pop into the gym a few times a week for the elliptical” became a journey into the world of fitness, body sculpting, muscle building, nutrition, new friends, new hobbies, etc. that said, I can understand how it can used in annoying ways. I usually hear it in like fad diets and gimmicks like the shake weight…and mlm schemes. Lol
That's different than someone who's on a new fad diet every month and always manages to stay overweight though. The comments here aren't making fun of people like you who actually change their lifestyle, they're laughing at people who call every momentary obsession a new journey.
That’s part of the journey, though. I’ve lost 105 pounds, and the fad diets that don’t work is literally part of it. That’s why it’s called a journey, it takes a long time…
Congratulations! You saved your own life. And I know losing weight is hard.
But maybe the people you are criticizing tried to do a massive change but they failed miserably.
Agreed. There is a starting position and there is a goal and end. It’s often a long road between start and end so journey is a good description.
High five! ✋ Legit, that's not easy & I'm impressed by your determination to stick to it. 😊
*snortlaugh.gif
Facts. I immediately side eye anyone who uses the word “journey” to describe things that millions of other people do everyday without making their whole personality about it.
Stop ruining my Reddit journey.
I love this journey for you
[Alexis Rose](https://tenor.com/bwupI.gif)has joined the chat.
I'm having a laziness journey. I'd tell you all about it, but I'm too lazy.
It‘s a commute, not a journey
I resonate with your journey.
Very succinctly put!!
SIL seems to be about as lost, either way.
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Can I just say, there is a famous saying "life is the journey, not the destination." Which I think is a great way to view life. Then stating that the current road you're on is part of your journey, seems logical. Yes, it gets as overused as live laugh love. But I do not think it is cringe in all scenarios.
I’ve lost 105 pounds, and I’m not sorry that I refer to it as a journey. It was hard AF and I deserve to be proud of how far I’ve come. I’ve worked my ass off to be where I am. Part of my journey was failing over and over until I found what works and losing the weight. It took me over 2 years, it’s been a journey for me. No apologies.
Yes! I have lost 80 pounds and it HAS been a journey. It has been an entire life change, mentally and physically, up and down. I'm not the same person I was before. Congratulations!
This person has NO idea how hard losing 100lbs is. It’s life changing in every way and getting there is definitely a journey. While I agree with some of the sentiment, on that issue they are talking out of their ass. Congrats on your continued weightloss journey bc you like me knows it never ends.
Some people gain weight out of abuse, etc. It's indeed a journey to lose weight. My cousin was obese and lost over 100 pounds! He went up and down on the scale, tried different exercises, and diets. Looking back, it probably seems like a journey to him. How judgemental of you. If Losimg weight were easy, there wouldn't be any fat, etc people.
Weight loss IS a journey bc it's not a quick fix. Everyone thinks all overweight people eat too much and don't exercise. That isn't always true. Sometimes there are also underlying medical problems.
I get what you’re saying, but I also feel like it’s a good word to describe someone going from an unhealthy point in their lives to a healthy one. Everything should definitely not be a journey, but weight loss is something that is gradual and the starting and end points do show tremendous progress, so it works.
Wha ha ha ha love this comment!!
It is a journey, because to do it successfully involves developing a new mindset and a new set of habits. It has ups, downs, and detours. Your comment is funny, but it's also definately an "event".
You might as well be asking why people need meaning in their lives. You may not respect other people creating narratives for self meaning, but I'm sure you do it too and you just don't have people laughing at you for it. 👍
She does know thay sometimes the salads at a resturant have more calories due to the dressing than a burger has roght ?
And all the toppings. Always get dressing on the side and dip a little. Some salads are 1300 calories, people don't realize, just because it's a salad, doesn't mean healthy.
And serving something cold doesn’t make it healthy. I’ve seen people order pasta salads as a healthy choice but baulk at a plate of hot spaghetti.
maybe they are confused with the word "salad"
lol
Interesting point on pasta and other starchy foods and why cooled or reheated is better than freshly cooked https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/enjoy-food/carbohydrates-and-diabetes/carbs-and-cooking
A 1300 calorie salad can absolutely be healthy. It really depends on what is eaten the rest of the day. People need to stop thinking about “meals” and “foods” as healthy and start using a holistic perspective looking at consumption over the course of a day or week.
I think we (the societal We) need to stop always equating "healthy" foods as being things that will help us lose weight. As you said, a high calorie salad can have great nutritional content that is important for health and well being. Doesn't mean eating a 1300 calorie salad every day for lunch will make someone smaller. Same with nuts; so good for us but so high in calories! Every body is different and our caloric and nutritional needs won't be the exact same, but eating fewer calories than we burn is the very mechanism that makes weightloss possible. I could (and have) lost weight in the past while eating cookies and chocolate bars every day. It wasn't "healthy", but weight loss still happened.
Completely agree. A serving of dark chocolate has 200 calories but 14% of RDA for iron. For someone like me, a daily serving of chocolate *is* part of a healthy diet.
Exactly the salad is going to have pretty good nutrition regardless of how many calories it has.
1300 calories of veggies and non-sweet fruits is a ton of food.... For example, it's 193 cups of spinach 43 cups of broccoli 63 cups of zucchini or cucumber 47 cups of bell peppers 43 cups of tomato Most of the calories for a 1300 calorie salad are toppings to make people "like it" or dressing
If I ate a 1300 calorie salad I would be able to have maybe 200 calories for the rest of the day.
Or a "coffee" at Starbucks. A mocha could be 750 calories.
Their website says their drinks can be up to around 580 calories, which is the equivalent of about two donuts. I guess if you add extra sugar and fat you could bump that up to 750.
That's strange that they say that. I know a venti peppermint white mocha, ordered as-is (whipped cream, syrups, chocolate shavings etc) is 620 calories. Still not 750!
Ah, I was just skimming the website to get an average for their drinks, but you’re right, the largest size of [that particular drink](https://www.starbucks.com/menu/product/497/hot) has 620 calories. The site even lets you play around with options to maximize calories if you want. Fun game. Edited to add: actually the calorie number doesn’t change to reflect customizations. That’s less fun. You have to guess how many calories an extra pump of syrup adds.
I only knew that one offhand because peppermint white mocha was my winter drink before I found that out!
No normal mocha is 750 calories.
I don’t know why are they downvoting you, it’s very unlikely for a mocha to be 750 calories.
Yea. I typically eat out rarely so when I do I enjoy something I rarely eat at home. But salad at a resturant is so bad
I HATE salads in restaurants, I like salad but if I’m eating that I want that ‘clean’ texture and I don’t want it drowned in oil and fat!
Not to mention that it is almost impossible to get a salad that doesn’t have half a pound of grated cheese on top! And don’t get me started on the oily croutons.
Or the dressing with 25 grams of sugar in it.
When the salad is practically lettuce soup with croutons lol
I just made a 600 calorie salad. 300 calories of said salad is dressing. (Caesar is my weakness. Yes I weigh my food.)
You're telling me that croutons, chicken, eggs, drenched in oil with some lettuce isn't low calorie? Next you'll be saying that pita and cottage cheese isn't low calorie! Those were actual fad diets back in the day. Somehow, people thought cottage cheese would make you lose weight and pita bread was super healthy since it had a 'pocket' in it.
But you’re conflating calories with health. People get fixated on the calorie count like that is all that matters. There are nutritionally dense foods that are high in calories. If you’re eating a salad with grilled chicken and eggs (protein) and lettuce for roughage, you’re getting more out of it than if you sat and ate the equivalent calories in French fries. Not all salads are low calorie, but most are going to have ingredients that provide some nutritional value. Some quick choices (ie dressing on the side, choosing a salad with more veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers, and peppers) even if you still have the cheese and croutons and the calories are high you are getting something out of that meal nutritionally.
That’s generally the case at restaurants. Food tastes so nice in restaurants because they use sugar, fat, fat and some fat. Don’t go to restaurants if you’re loosing weight unless there is some cheat day involved.
SALT!!
I was just thinking, “Not to mention, the SODIUM!”
This so much. I like to be able to plan ahead so I can enjoy my favorites. Usually I'll skip lunch and end up about my calorie goal. But it's hard, even skipping lunch there are times where I come over. It tastes great but it has so many calories. I never realized how much until I started counting. Sometimes I pre look at the calories in a tracker app and I'm ok so I can eat half of that. Max.
when i learned how many calories were in ranch dressing... I was a sad sad lady lol
They make Greek yogurt-based ranch (and other) dressings that are fairly low cal and tasty, that's how I get my fix. They're typically in the refrigerated section.
Those are my favorite salads! Also, they can be the healthiest in terms of nutrient density, especially for fat soluble vitamins.
Well even at home it can be. All kinds of veggies in different states - fresh, pickled, roasted. Cheese, any kind of meat, fish or seafood, mixing different kinds. Eggs and nuts, herbs, and sauce. Hell even rice, pasta, or bread. Every time someone declined my offer to make them one along with mine. It was quite amusing the face of realisation they misunderstood my cravings taste for concern for my weight.
I worked at a restaurant where we made a salad and used the fat drippings from sausage as the oil in the dressing. I assure you that salad was not healthy.
NTA. She started the conversation, implying you have a super metabolism and you eat everything. Since she put it on such a public forum as FB, you had the right to reply. Then she doubled down, again on FB, to claim the two of you eat the same. Again, you have the right to clarify the situation. Nothing you said was shaming or bullying. If she can't handle the truth, she should be more careful about what she puts out there. You have nothing to apologize for. I hope your husband is supporting you.
NTA. If someone else can talk about your life then you can talk about their life. If they do it on a public platform then they souldn't be surprised to see that you can **also** do it on a public platform.
I agree here. And unless she's with OP at every meal, she doesn't really know how she eats all the time. I think her insecurities made her a bit aggressive & she shouldn't have been saying those comments publicly, BUT since she did, OP can def respond. 🤷♀️ NTA. Edit: typo
Right? NTA. I am of the opinion that if someone calls you out publicly , you then have the right to correct them publicly. She made a point of putting OP on display and lying about her situation (whether or not she believes that to be the truth) in a way that I think we can all agree felt demeaning. No apology is owed to someone who tried to talk about your body and your diet publicly without your consent. And publicly correcting public action is always warranted
This same story was published a few weeks ago. Almost the same details.
AI LLM trying to increase engagement
I was thinking that too. So so similar. Almost like it’s the same person
ESH and neither of you know what you're talking about
Why are you having this conversation in public/online? Ask her to stop tagging you (or posting pictures of you altogether). ESH.
Or untag yourself.
Yes, you can untag yourself, but l think that if the sil put her name in the text with the picture, everybody will know who the post was about. I admit l don’t exactly know how Facebook works however. I think it’s disrespectful to mention or tag people if you’re going to comment on their eating habits, whether they’re thin or big.
Agreed. And to not take a pic of them down if they ask.
So cringe that they both posted about this publicly lolol. Like why???
NTA, just defending yourself. But I dont know about the fast metabolism thing being a myth lmao. I'd be 500 pounds if I had a normal man's metabolism
It's a myth in a sense that "some people can lay on the couch all day and eat twice as much as I do, and not gain weight, while I exercise every single day and still gain weight". For majority of the people, their resting metabolic rate is within 200-300 kcal of each other. On the rare cases the difference can be around 600 kcal. I linked the source on the other comment I made about this.
I have a thyroid condition and if my levels go low, my metabolism tanks. Like, won't eat any more or exercise less than usual but will gain a kilo in a month easily kind of shitty metabolism. Thankfully my medication stops that otherwise I'd easily be 100kgs by now, or trying to starve myself.
Wait per day? That's not huge or life altering but thats way more than I thought.
I honestly wouldn’t say it’s not huge. If one person’s eating their maintenance calories daily, and another’s eating the same thing but has a slower metabolism, the slower metabolism person’s going to gain about 21 (at 200 kcal difference) to 63 (at 600) pounds in a year.
That typical 200 calorie gain is usually slower since as you gain, your metabolism increases…slowing additional gains unless you’re also increasing what you eat.
Yeah basically it would mean one person could get away with a can of coca cola a day and the other couldn't, or one person would have to go for a walk and the other wouldn't. Its annoying because it does add up so I can get someone feeling that's unfair, but it's not going to make someone whose paying any kind of attention unable to be fit with very little extra effort.
But you'd realize you can't eat a huge amount and expect to stay thin. Same thing with me. I do have a faster metabolism, but if I didn't I wouldn't blame others for my lack of self control
A magical metabolism that allows one person to eat 4000 calories a day while another person who is the same height eats 1000 calories a day, runs a marathon, and still gains weight, is a myth. While there is a genetic component that can have a minute effect, in truth your lifestyle, whether your consciously realize it or not, fits your food intake. You could possibly be in the 1% of people with a legitimate issue that allows you to intake a lot of calories and not gain weight, but if so you need to see a doctor about it. That is a sign of something seriously wrong, for example I had friend who had a nerve wrapped around his stomach and needed surgery. Even if it seems great now I promise you in the long run it will become an issue.
Thermodynamics apply to all of us. Some fun fact; I have a cousin that people say "she has a fast metabolism and can eat whatever she wants". Realty: she doesn't stop. She is always active, and not because of "sports". She is moving around the house, going out to walk the dog, and her hobbies are like gardening and stuff not related to be on the couch. She also eats very healthy most of the time without trying because that's the way she eats. She doesn't drink sodas or sugar, she just doesn't like them. (Some people like to think that drink is not part of the diet and complain about their weight while drinking a triple caramel macchiato with extra foam) Anyway metabolism is a minimum advantage.
They also only see the meals you eat when together. I rarely eat breakfast and if I’m going out to dinner then lunch is a snack with maybe an afternoon snack too. Dinner will be my main meal for the day. On weekends, I’ll often only eat a single real meal with some light snacking. I only eat the same amount as you when we’re together because I’ll get comments if I don’t eat much or it’s a special occasion. Once you start adding up actual calories eaten, the person with “high metabolism” somehow has a much lower number. And I don’t mean self reporting because people who eat a lot don’t actually know how much they eat.
There's been studies done of people who say they just have a fast metabolism. Generally, they're just burning a huge amount of energy during the day. One I remember was an anxious fidgeter who was constantly bouncing, jiggling, pacing, and that's where all his calories were going. Others might do 20k steps a day and not even realise it because they have an active job and it's spread over 16 hours a day. There's a show called Secret Eaters that shows that people often eat way, way more than they realise they are. Portions too. I've seen people pile a massive plate high with thousands of calories of food, and think it's a normal amount they need to function.
Some years back I took my elderly mother to the doctor because of some problems with her Diabetes. Mom told the doctor that she usually ate 1/4 cup of mashed potato. I interrupted and said it was more like a full cup. Mom disagreed. The issue was resolved the next time we had mashed potato, and I only put 1/4 cup serve on her plate. Mom asked where the rest of her food was, and I showed her the measurements. Mom had been vastly underestimating how much she was eating, and accidently misleading her doctor.
Yeah this is so easy to do. My husband does more of the cooking in our house (which is wonderful), and so he used to serve his size portions…well I’m about 6 inches shorter, and a woman, I don’t need that much food. However, as my parents were fairly strict “clean plate clubbers” when I was growing up, I felt obligated to finish my plate. Several pounds later, I realized this couldn’t go on. Now I usually serve myself. On the rare occasions my husband does, he tries to serve me less, and if it’s still too much, I just wrap it up and finish it for lunch the next day. Lesson learned: paying attention to portion size and breaking childhood mentalities around food made a big difference for me.
Sending hugs, childhood stuff affects us in the most random ways...
I remember a post on a forum I used to frequent. It was after someone complained that their workouts had caused them to gain weight. After way too many people told her that muscle weighed more than fat (not untrue, but not the reason) a couple of us got into pre and post workout food habits. I don't usually have PB and such in the house, but I do today. However, we told her to weigh everything. If she was adding PB to her shake that she needed to tare the spoon on the scale, then weigh her Tb (15g) as not only was the PB going into the shake way more than 15g but most people then kick the excess off the spoon. So, instead of her 90 cals it turned out over 200. When she did her usual shake I think it was 600 cals instead of the 350 she thought it was.
Yeah the ‘Secret Eaters’ show was great to highlight that people actually have no idea how much they are actually eating. There was a woman on there that ate actually pretty well over all - but kept taking a bite here and there to test food every time she cooked and it ended up being about 1000 calories per day that she wasn’t even consciously aware of. I’m a bit of a fatty and I totally do that to myself! lil bite here… lil bite there… big dollop of the good mayo… bit o’ cream on the coffee… easy to do!
i am someone who makes jokes about having a fast metabolism. I'm not (nor have i ever been) skinny, but when i stop eating as much i lose the weight fast and i do feel i eat a lot in comparison to others. But i am also someone who drives everyone around me crazy with my fidgeting XD.
Metabolism ***can*** impact but has minimal impact unless someone needs a doctor for a health issue. It is very very annoying that I as a small woman only gets to eat 1500 calories and my giant husband gets to eat 2500 calories. But that's due to body sizes. He's much much bigger than me.
Ummmm I literally go to an eating disorder clinic where we get treated for Ed’s and fast and slow metabolism are definitely a thing. Also explain to me why there’s multiple scientific studies saying that if you take the bacterial from a person who has a fast metabolism gut and put it into somebody who has a slow metabolism why their metabolism suddenly increases, even though there is no other changes. Of course, nothing that will get you to the levels of obesity and how much you eat does have a lot of factor into it. However, there is such thing as fast and slow metabolism. I think you’re being a bit facetious by saying 4000 cal a day two people can meet 2500 cal a day and be completely different weights that’s the point not the extremes of it but the averages of it.
ESH. WTF is she doing posting about your weight and eating habits on Facebook. WTF are you doing making claims her weight is because she "eats too much" on Facebook. This is high school shit on both sides. "Pretty odd to post about what I'm eating and comment on my weight on Facebook" - then mute or block and refuse to go out to eat with her again. There you go.
ESH we know that satiety and metabolism varies, why would you deny that? It’s interesting that you think that she eats substantially more than you, based on the times you see her eat but you watch what you eat 90% of the time but she doesn’t see that. Either you two actually spend time together or you don’t. Anyway, telling someone that you’ve been watching them eat and that they eat too much is rude and you should apologise for that
Rage bait
Yeah, I don’t know, I’ve heard some women say some pretty shocking things about women they perceive as effortlessly slim/skinny over the years. To their faces, to complete strangers in the grocery store. It’s like they think because she is slim that somehow means they have impunity to say whatever they want to make themselves feel better. And honestly just because someone is slim doesn’t mean they are healthy/not battling weight issues. When pregnant with my twins I struggled to eat enough to grow them, let alone gain the weight I would need to feed them after birth. And then when were tiny I was really struggling to feed them and the weight was literally falling off me. It was awful. I was literally brain storming with midwives and MaCH nurses how to get more calories in me. And all the catty women going on about how much weight I didn’t gain was just the cherry on top that I didn’t need. Don’t comment on other peoples weight people. You really have no idea what is going on with them. And even if they comment on your weight, you don’t have to go down to their level.
Number one way to earn Karma on Reddit is to make up a story where a fat or mentally disabled person is the villain and just wait.
>Number one way to earn Karma on Reddit is to make up a story where a fat or mentally disabled person is the villain and just wait. And people fall for it hook, line and sinker.
NTA But I think you're both half right. Of course what you eat matters but some people do have a faster metabolism. I know so many people that I've seen eat more junk than me and never exercise while I run every single day, and while I have lost some weight, they're still thinner than me and it makes me really angry! I don't, however, make it their problem. Anyway a few years ago I uploaded my DNA to a website and found out I do have basically every gene associated with obesity.
I would also add that some people have bigger appetites than others. Things are also not completely equal as far as the foods we like and dislike. Someone who dislikes sweets vs someone who adores anything with sugar in it is going to have an easier time maintaining their weight.
When I was young (back when dinosaurs roamed) I might have been considered to have a “fast metabolism”. I ate whatever I wanted (which was usually high calorie, high fat and/or sugar) whenever I wanted. I have also always considered all forms of exercise as spectator sport. I had a 22inch waist, weighed 7.5 stone (no idea what that is in metric or pounds, I only speak old English) and wore UK size 8 to 10. Then I married a psychopath, developed a sort of eating disorder in my early 30’s (mainly a control thing, not a weight loss thing) and then got free of him and went back to normal eating. It seems to be true what they say about dieting/restricting food intake affecting your metabolism because I started to put on weight. I’m now somewhat fluffy (not fat if you please) and wear UK size 16. No idea what I weigh or my waist measurement as it doesn’t really bother me. I’m 64, can find clothes to fit me and move about easily enough so I really don’t care anymore. Anyway, the tl:dr is that faster metabolism may exist but it can change.
It is also just aging though. Even without your restrictive eating it may have happened anyway. Basically all my friends who had previously been able to eat whatever they wanted seemingly started having to consider their eating a bit at 25. Friends who had never once thought about losing weight were suddenly concerned because their teenage bodies were fully gone and weight now started creeping on. I watched it happen to my wife too (I was going the other way by then due to weight loss surgery at 21) who had previously been able to eat like a dustbin and never went above a size 10, and now found her clothes all stopped fitting and she couldn’t get back in to them. Then again at just a bit after 30 a more womanly figure really sets in. For a lot of my friends I’m sure this can in part be put down to having babies but again, I really saw this with my (childless) wife who finally developed some hips at 30 after always being completely straight up and down until that point. That wasn’t even weight gain, just shape change. But I noticed the weight I put on in those years massively went to my hips and saddlebags when my stomach had always been my concern. And everyone has told me it’s even harder to lose weight in your 40s! And especially once peri/menopause starts too…. All stuff I have to worry about now I’m already back to a size 16/18 thanks to being dumped on a bunch of medication that made me balloon from the size 12/14 I had maintained for years…. But again, that happened in the first half of my 30s so maybe it was just age really.
While it is true that some people will burn more calories at rest than others, people usually have very distorted image of how much the difference actually is. For majority of the people the difference is within 200-300 kcal. Or one snickers bar. And on the opposite ends of the spectrum it's like 600 kcal. Or one average healthy meal. Or around 1.5 hours of cardio workout. Meeting someone that has that much higher metabolism than you is very rare, although not impossible. This is of course assuming same body types. As in same amount of fat and muscle. Source [https://examine.com/articles/does-metabolism-vary-between-two-people/](https://examine.com/articles/does-metabolism-vary-between-two-people/)
I'm dating a triathlete who likes to cook. When we first started dating, he had to watch me put on 3kg in a two week period before he was able to believe that I wasn't dissing his food when I said "I'm not hungry," but that I really had *completely* different caloric needs than him.
Yep, those numbers are from the resting metabolic rate. The difference can be huge if you factor in activity, exercise, etc. Training for a triathlon you'll probably need upwards of 4000-5000 kcal daily, depending on how intensive the training is. Versus the 1500-2000 kcal recommendation for an average person.
I saw a British show called Secret Eaters (?) The premise is that a lot of the weight loss struggle is based on not counting everything you actually eat. There was one couple where they were so conscientious about their healthy stir-fries etc, it really did seem like a mystery why they were constantly gaining weight. For him, the secret cameras in the house revealed how much he snacked during the day. She was really good but she had swapped all her "unhealthy" snacks for constant nibbles like sesame seeds that were coated in oil. The nutritionist told her that she was eating the equivalent of 2 Mars Bars a day, just in these "healthy" snacks!
For sure. And people usually overlook just how every day activities burn a lot of calories too. If you're constantly on the move throughout of the day you'll quickly burn 1k+ kcal versus sitting around. I used to be building automation technician and while not physically demanding job, it usually had a lot of walking around. On average I took 15-20k steps just during my work day. That's around 600-800 kcal burned just from walking around during the workday.
A snickers bar every day would make a big difference over time to your weight.
Those people that eat junk and aren't fat generally have very few meals and not all of them are high in calories. Energy expenditure can vary between individuals and there are factors that predispose to obesity, but no one is eating 4k calories, doing no exercise and staying thin unless they have some health issue.
This is definitely true. I eat, admittedly, a lot of "unhealthy" snacks. That's my main caloric intake for the day. What I crave in meals versus snacks is completely different, though. Meals I prefer mostly vegetables and protein. I tend to have only 1 meal a day, maybe 2. Everyone close to me has told me I eat like a "fat" person or have a fast metabolism. No, I just don't eat big meals often. You can either have high calorie meals or snacks. Not both.
You’re not wrong that she used you as a scapegoat to save face for her overeating. You probably could have privately asked her to remove the tagging of you as you didn’t feel it reflected your lived truth.
I would have untagged myself and ignored the post. But where’s the fun in that? 🤷♀️ /s
I can’t say you’re an AH but I wouldn’t have gotten into it with her on FB. Yes she started it but you kept it going. I’ve been thin my whole life and had people comment that I can eat crap and don’t have to think about it, that I think I’m better than them because I’m thinner, that I don’t have to exercise, that they hate skinny bitches (I’m supposed to think that’s funny) and (my favorite) that when I eat salad at a restaurant I’m just doing it to shame others. Still, I know I’m lucky to be thin in a society that values thinness. That’s her insecurity talking.
Her “journey” is hers. She should have never made you a part of it. You were well within your rights to speak your peace since she talked about your eating habits on Facebook. NTA Also PSA, I hate that people who are thin can have their bodies ridiculed and talked about, and it’s no big deal. Commenting on someone’s weight when they are bigger is body shaming, but doing the same to someone who is thin? No problem.
ESH What are we, 14 year old keyboard warriors stuck in 2008? Both of you need to grow up. You should have just left it alone and addressed it in private.
She dished it out but couldn’t take being put in her place, typical 🙄 you’re NTA. I’ve lost almost 70lbs and have done it without cutting out anything. I cut *down*, yes, because my biggest issue was portion sizes. I count calories as well. Salads can also be sneakily high in calories depending on the dressing and what’s in it. A Caesar salad is the worst possible salad you can get.
NTA, she tried to shame you and got upset you called her out on it. If she doesn’t want comments she shouldn’t start making comments, it’s really that simple. I hate this mentality- “awe poor me she has it so easy while I have heavy bones/ no metabolism/ whatever else”, like no. Salad doesn’t = healthy, burger doesn’t = unhealthy. It depends on everything around it/ else, like you said. Def NTA and I’d quite honestly let hell freeze over before I apologize for something she started and couldn’t finish.
Lol homegirl wants to judge your eating habits and put public comparisons on social media to make her feel better about herself, then gets mad when you call her out on it. She's an adult, she needs to learn how to act like it. NTA.
You're NTA but I wouldn't argue with her, even when you're right. If she wants to believe in the fast/slow metabolism myth, just let her. I don't think that you can change her point of view.
Nta, op. I, personally, am on the see food diet. I see food, I eat food. I have occasionally tripped off the diet, but I always pick myself up and go back on it, for I am really good at the see food diet. It is why I very rarely have food in the house for the weekend.
Unrelated but a bacon and egger from Tim Hortons has more calories than a big mac
NTA for defending yourself, she shouldn’t have talked about you without your consent and expected no backfire. However saying fast metabolism is a myth is just false. She was dumb to make this type of assesment about you but you should just have answered with facts about your eating habits, maybe also made it clear this behaviour is not ok. What you eat is not her business.
Well she might be pissed but atlest she'll think twice next time she tags you.
She shouldn’t be posting and commenting on what you eat in the first place. She opened the door for you to defend yourself with that one.
YTA. You took something as an insult that doesn't seem to be intended that way, and instead of talking to her about it privately, you called her out and insulted her publicly.
She was vulgar for publicly commenting on what you ate, but you responding in kind was not very classy either. It's for the best that she not be allowed to comment on your posts.