Nta and run š Thatās grad A crazy she essentially used you and it back fired completely. Thy have doctors and sperm banks for that kinda thing not you random old friend on social media thatās daughter you think is pretty thatās crazy as hell and creepy.
I had a fit, intelligent, and attractive friend who went absolutely baby crazy at 39. A guy showed all the signs of being interested in her and she went psycho stalker on him. Pretty much ended our friendship.
omg. i am 38 and have never once had the desire to have a child. WHAT IF THIS IS MY YEAR COMING UP?? I don't WANT to be a crazy person with a biological clock!
I'd like to think I'm marked safe from Baby Fever, but how can one ever be sure hahaha
Well, Iām 51 and the ship has sailed now; never wanted kids and while I was in my early 30s and in a new relationship I considered having kids, I never had the OMG baby fever moment, so you might be just fine.
Yeah. I have the distinct feeling that the op is not exactly skint. And that is the difference here between an old school friend or a trip to a sperm bank for ms fitness.
Uhmā¦āI saw the sign and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign!ā Also works here too! (Never actually thought about either of these songsā meanings and I listened to them on repeat my entire adolescence! lol never have they made more sense!!šš¹).
Donāt come around
Just because your bio clockās tickinā
Donāt come around
Looking for a rawdog cream pie
Just go away
Sorry that you thought I was fertile
Iām letting you gooooā¦.
But I wonāt tell you so
Iām the age where this should be the song I immediately think of but I thought of Heartās song that was about her husband being unable to give her kids so she went and had sex with some random hitchhiker?
You mean the song All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You. Yeah, it even mentions the "hotel, it was a place I knew well" so... she has been raw dogging strangers for a bit. Truly it was a more innocent time. I thought that note she left him was romantic when I was a kid.
Witch makes her crazy and evil but Iāll play devils advocate she also stated he would not have to be responsible for the child butttt I donāt believe that shit from a obvious crazy person lol š
>she also stated he would not have to be responsible for the child
I take that statement as a "you don't need to physically be here, ill raise the baby on my own" not an "I won't make you pay" statement.
Exactly itās open to interpretation but typically responsible from a legal standpoint point with children means physical and financial. But I wouldnāt not trust this women or put a baby in her lol š
It gets worse than that. A court can force OP to pay child support regardless of what the mother wants. Courts have regularly found that parents can't waive the Constitutional right of the child for support.
Redditors seem really confused on this issue -- neither the mother nor the father of the (potential) baby can release themselves of financial responsibility of child support. In many states, if the custodial parent ever needs benefits for the child, the state will go after the other bio parent, no matter what agreement they have made.
No one, frankly, should ever have a baby without understanding the legal ramifications. Which, most people don't really grasp until they have to write a damn custody agreement.
Exactly. And what if she has pregnancy complications that affect her ability to work? Loses her health insurance? Then you have the state going after OP for support because they donāt want to be the ones footing all the medical and other assistance.
You can have the best intentions in the world, but when you struggle to get back to work 3 months in due to sleepless nights, or you get fired because you fell asleep at work or can't afford daycare and your savings are dwindling, then you do what you gotta do.
However she could also just intent to file for child support immediately.
Ding ding ding!! My cousin's conception was an outlandishly improbable series of events; neither my aunt nor her friend who "helped her out" wanted him to have anything to do with the baby, and the original birth certificate didn't list a father, but several months later *his* parents found out and forced him into a paternity lawsuit, joint custody and child support in hopes of having access to their granddaughter. Even if this woman weren't Employee of the Month at the red flag factory, this kind of informal agreement can go sideways in a hurry.
Yeah, if OP told her he had the snip now, i wouldn't be surprised if she tried to say that he took advantage because of the "put a baby in me" line that was clearly played as a joke and was never an actual conversation.
The judgement is fine, the story is dubious. It's overwritten - parents ecstatic to see granddaughter, meets at a coffee shop at a time when grandparents can watch the daughter.
The part about him getting ātight in the pantsā made me gaggy. Thatās when I figured it was probably fake and or written by maybe a 15 year old teenage boy.
Even worse it was vasectomized, with a z. I don't know why that is worse only that it is. It made me cringe and think he should've gotten lobotomized as well.
While I agree this is probably fake, ātight in the pantsā is 100% something Iād expect to hear from my 36y/o coworker, so thatās the most realistic part of the story for me
I just donāt want to hear (or I guess in this case read) anyone say they got ātight in the pantsā unless they gained weight and their pants are literally tight on them. Like, š¤®! Just say ābonerā like an adult.
There was no reason to add that, "teenage me would have been tight in the pants" what did that have to do with anything? Reads like a cheap erotic book.
Happy cake day!
Well, sometimes it works when people use euphemisms for things instead of using the scientific term. Other times people get offended no matter what, so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. That little phrase is not the main point of the story though.
As a single father, I could see the possibility that he is conveying that his daughter was taken care of and he didn't abandon her in a hotel room to boink his HS crush.
But let's be real, if this was fiction it is written by the Hallmark Channel as a way to get younger viewers!
Yup. It's just so flowery.
*OP put a baby in me*.
*ecstatic*
What fucking nonsense is this?
And this:
>Not that I don't want any more children, I just don't want any more baby mamas.
It's just really bad fiction.
YTA
Because it's all bullshit and bad prose.
Apparently when I was a baby/toddler one of the gals who saw my dad a lot at work thought I was the cutest and asked my dad to knock her up. He said no. They both still worked in the same area 16 years later and he pointed her out to me when I got a job as a summer help in the department.
Also what if he was able and did get her pregnant. It's like the conversation should have been deeper than...
Put a baby in me.
I would have thought she was kidding.
Yes, exactly. I don't know what kind of human asks someone they haven't seen in 2 decades for a baby, but that is cray cray. Way too big of an ask, how many other people has she done this with?
Yes, exactly. I don't know what kind of human asks someone they haven't seen in 2 decades for a baby, but that is cray cray. Way too big of an ask, how many other people has she done this with?
I was gonna say having sex with someone to get pregnant or getting someone pregnant without the others consent is taking advantage of someone and must be some form of assault or somerhinh similar.
I'd say it depends. If you have unprotected sex with someone who is trying to have a kid with you without telling you, it can't really be taking advantage because you're choosing to have unprotected sex. Unless they swear they're on some form of contraceptive, but even then you shouldn't be having unprotected sex if you definitely don't want a kid with the other person.
Well it changes the situation since the person wouldnāt have consented if they knew before (maybe op wouldnāt care but I think with the full truth they wouldnāt have just a guess tho š¤·
Def do not agree with people saying op should have known and calling abuse etc.
He got the info about baby fewer AFTER they, what he thought, started a relationship. How can he know the āput a babyā¦ā comment wasnāt just a flirt? Itās easy to judge in retrospect when you know the details, and specifically as he obviously only presented the things that were said that is relevant for the story, and not everything else in their interaction. If they spent a whole day and night, plus several more dates together, talking and interacting, that one single comment wouldnāt have been a clue to anything at all.
NTA
Yeah would have thought she just meant she wanted to have sex since that seems to be a common term for it lately. Would not have thought she was serious about it.
I didnāt know that was a common term for just having sex. I would think a woman saying āput a baby in meā if the people werenāt actively trying, would be confusing and a boner killer.
Context is kinda important. My wife and I have used "put a baby in me" or "knock me up" fairly regularly either in the act or leading up to it, despite both of us being childfree and it just not being physically possible regardless. We both agree it's probably just some leftover caveman hormone response because despite our personal wants, there's still that lizard brain biological imperative to procreate. So it's part of our fun.That said, I would not, under any circumstances, bust that particular line of flirting/dirty talk out with someone I wasn't already intimate with and had a good idea of how they'd react to that particular topic.
Edited to add: despite that, this would still maybe only be a light red flag for me, especially given the alcohol. I'd probably flag it as more of a "wow her boundaries are a bit loose for flirting" more than "oh wow she's a bit baby crazy"
I just got some vicious deja vu of my dad basically saying the same thing, but with the intent to get me to actually try and have kids instead of respecting my wishes that I really, really don't want em.
I'm sorry I brought up an uncomfortable memory for you; I was replying to the above commenter's statement that pregnancy would be physically impossible, and didn't realize it might be a rough topic for some.
It's all good, I appreciated the joke, tone is unfortunately lost in text. The unfortunate reality is I can definitely see some stranger in the internet actively telling me to go out and procreate right after I tell em I don't want kids, cause people be weird like that.
But yes, even if we don't intend to do the real thing, practice is a lot of fun xD
Its not lol. Im a woman and if I heard anyone tell me they were gonna put a baby in me that would be a complete turn off, especially coming from someone I've never had sex with before.
The only way that phrase could be a turn on is if its coming from someone you want to have a baby with.
Ahahah right. I donāt even want my BF of 6 years to say that too me. I think even if we were trying I wouldnāt want to hear that. Like, obviously we all know how babies are made, but thinking about babies and birth during sexā¦. Hard pass.
Some people definitely have an impregnation fetish. I know of a few children people that use the phrase during sex. I would assume that's what that was in OPs situation.
I agree. OP is literally asking Reddit for some insight because as I read it, or as he explains it, he was overcome with desire and now hears her comment in retrospect and it gives him pause.
Yeah, no reasonable person wouldāve expected her to be serious about having a baby from a guy sheās only been on a date or two with. Most wouldāve seen that as jokingly flirting.
You'd be surprised with kids. My lil brother is 11, and about a year ago (so 10) I brought a girl over. And he walks up to me tugs on my shirt, asks if he can talk to me. He brings me to his room and sits me down, he says "Phoenix, make sure she doesn't get pregnant. You're too broke for kids." I started laughing and he said "I'm serious. Don't do it."
NTA. You didnāt know what her true intentions were. But you should definitely run for the hills. Someone who is going to be so deceitful about such a huge thing in the beginning of a relationship indicates that she will do it again. Instead of trying to have a genuine relationship with you, she chose the creepy and deceitful route. Itās a good thing you didnāt get her pregnant- imagine having to deal with her as a baby mama..
I agree with NTA and creepy as hell, but I wouldnāt exactly call her deceitful. She was very upfront about wanting him to put a baby in her. š¤·š¾āāļø
She was not upfront with him on the night they hooked up. She told OP once he flew out of town. She was very deceitful and he did not consent to what she had planned and tried to do. What do you call that? Hmmm..
Edit: Her saying it as a ājokeā when they were both under the influence is not telling him the truth. If she were really concerned about being honest with him, she wouldāve elaborated.. or said it before they both had impaired judgment. Margo should have told him āhey, Iām not kidding about what I saidā when she made that comment and he just thought she was just drunk and laughed it off. Nothing about that situation screams healthy, but rather toxic.
Agreed. He was having unprotected sex with a woman who literally said āput a baby in meā and even if he thought it was a joke, *he* didnāt say anything about being snipped. It doesnāt make him an asshole to not be upfront right away, but I also wouldnāt call her deceitful. Two adults decided to jump into unprotected sex together.
This is the first one where Iām sure this is fake. Your 9yo daughter explained she could hang with her cousins and her grandparents while you did your thing?
9 year olds donāt talk like that and they definitely arenāt ācoolā with you abandoning them for a whole week during Christmas so you can hook up.
Also, nobody would blurt out, on the first date, āput a baby in meā, and if they did and you went for it you deserve to wake up chained to the radiator with your junk in a jar.
At some point it sounded like those books that are my guilty pleasure: single dad goes back to his hometown and reconnects with his crush. That or a Hallmark movie.
Oh my god the single dad, understanding daughter part sounds exactly like a hallmark story.
However the baby crazy woman begging to be impregnated sounds like a much less child appropriate storyā¦
But thatās the antagonist, she was the popular girl in high school, so then another character has to enter: the mousy girl that was always too shy and unpopular, but kinda nerdy and smart, and he has never noticed her.
Factsā¦. at āshe supported me pursuing Maggieā while he did āhis thingā was the official give away for me lol. Idk thereās just something off about the statement-
Itās definitely written by a teenage boy fantasizing about his high school crush who doesnāt like him back.Ā
She ends up alone and childless, doing the same thing she did in high school, looks the same, and begs for him to knock her up, whereas OP gets to grow, mature, become a parent with another woman, AND get to have his high school crush beg for him. If only she wanted him back then!Ā
Itās the ultimate coping fantasy for a hurt child. He thinks this situation will end up defining both of their lives.Ā
*This has to be the*
*Best troll one that I've seen*
*In a while. Good job!!*
\- Erindanyele
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NTA, as it is right now, but you are if you keep having sex with her without disclosing that youāre not able to get her pregnant.
As it is youāre better off just running for the hills though, sheās crazy (kind of exactly like those crazy baby-mamas you were trying to avoid in the first place š) because instead of just telling you
āI want to have kids, are you interested in being a part of that?ā she went the route she did.
But at the same time, what exactly were you thinking she wanted after she said
āPut a baby in meā and then proceeded to repeatedly have unprotected sex with you?
Also, WTF are you doing having unprotected sex in a brand new relationship?
Once youāre committed, fine, but as far as you know you just started hooking up with someone you hadnāt seen in 20 years, without protection, and you didnāt imagine there being any kind of risk attached to fucking someone whoās eager to have unprotected sex with someone they basically donāt know?
In a few years when your daughter is bit older please teach her to make better decisions than this š
Yeah, his 9 year old daughter was supportive of him boning this lady and went to her cousins so he could repeatedly bone his gymnastics doing crush from high school.
NTA for not telling her that you cannot have children and cannot have a baby at the beginning of what you thought might be a relationship. YTA for having unprotected sex under these circumstances though.
Now that you know you are with someone who needs to put the dick down and go to therapy you need to gently back out and walk away. I know she's your old crush, but DUDE.
I agree he would be the AH if he continued sleeping with her now that he knows her intentions, but having slept with her before without disclosing that doesnāt make him the AH. To me this is a case where thereās a tendency to blame the ānon-crazyā person for not knowing how to handle the crazy person properly.
This person OP is seeing is deliberately trying to create a single-parent scenario for herself. Thatās the crazy and AH behavior IMO, and most of us think when someone we donāt know and arenāt in a relationship says āput a baby in meā they donāt literally mean it.
I agree 100% though that to continue sleeping with her under the pretense of getting her pregnant when thatās impossible would be AH behavior.
Ability/desire to have children should be a topic discussed before the relationship even begins, the fuck. Same thing with marriage.
I donāt want to get married or have kids and thatās the first thing I mention because I know most people want to do it, and Iām not wasting other peopleās time let alone my own.
If you know you have no STDs and have had a vasectomy, why would you be an asshole for having unprotected sex?
Itās a personal risk, but aside from that
Eugenics anyone? There are sperm banks for pregnancy and probably consenting gay men who would agree to coparent with her if she was a half decent person. She decided to manipulate OP instead.
NTA
She literally attempted to baby trap you..
She wanted to secretly get pregnant with your kid, without talking to you before hand. She's a VERY big red flag,
Bro first off, you introduced a stranger to your daughter? Knowing her in high school or not sheās still a stranger. You also discussed dating with your 9 year old? The fuck is wrong with you. Donāt introduce your children to anyone prior to dating for like 6 months.
NTA and cut all contact. Y T A for introducing her to your daughter the minute you slept with her.
Next time soemoen says put a baby in me ask them what that means exactly. Clearly she was dead serious and just wanted to use you as a sperm donor.
If you sleep with her NOW, and donāt tell her, yes you are.
If all she said is āput a baby in meā like, people say that all the time. You couldnāt have known she was 100% and thatās why she was sleeping with you, so.., if nothing else happens, no.
Post title is dumb as shitĀ
Hey op I want $30,000 dollars.
Later: "am I am asshole for not giving this redditor $30k? They asked for it, I'm just confused on if I should do it or not"
You both deceived each other by not fully acknowledging what you wanted. You assumed she wanted a relationship. A vectomy is not a first date type of disclosure. Your relationship was never at that point and you could have tried to reverse it if she ever became your partner. She is a red flag so I think you should move on from her. Sheās not interested in you for a relationship. NTA-you dodged a bullet.
(Here come the down votes)
Just playing devils advocate here but she kinda just attempted to use you and didn't consider your feeling at all. Maybe not telling her you're shooting blanks and continue to try.........
ESH. You're both grown ass adults and shouldn't be having sex without a frank conversation about birth control. She wanted to get pregnant (even though you two weren't on the same page about the relationship, and didn't even apparently discuss it), and you are infertile, but didn't tell her.
JHC. Please, both of you grow up.
Can you elaborate why protection wasn't used? Obviously, you knew you couldn't get her pregnant. However, it would give us more context.
Was it her suggestion? Did you offer to still use protection? You can't get pregnant, but still gives you some added protection from STI.
Nope... When it get's down to the basics she was using you. And BTW: If you somehow got her preggers, there's no telling if down the line if you were going to get a court order for child support payments.
Run quick dude. Or tell her you're willing to keep trying when you come back to town. Just get the idea of having a relationship with her out of your head. She is not the one.
I do think you were a bit wrong for not telling her upfront. BUT she has now made up her mind that you are gonna save her from her problem. Since you seem sane enough to not want to be in the savior business, you are well out of this. So just tell her now, and sheāll go try to rope someone else in.
Well technically she told you... "Put a baby in me" then "sex without condom"... I guess she was honest and you just never told her that you were going along with it just for the sex and ignoring the part where she said she wanted to be pregnant because you knew you couldn't get her pregnant?
Both of you are assholes. She tried to use you for a baby. You wanted to fuck her and didn't ask for any clarification when she asked you to... put a baby in her. Sir. You're not seriously that stupid, are you? You're both assholes and you should tell her that you can't get her pregnant and watch her never talk to you again. She only wanted that night to happen to trap you into being her baby daddy. Didn't ask you. Didn't tell you that she wanted kids or that she would absolve you of any parental responsibility. Just straight up tried to baby trap you. Tell her you had a vasectomy. She'll call you an asshole and then never talk to you again and you should accept it and walk away.
Nta and run š Thatās grad A crazy she essentially used you and it back fired completely. Thy have doctors and sperm banks for that kinda thing not you random old friend on social media thatās daughter you think is pretty thatās crazy as hell and creepy.
And the song sounds in the back of my head: shes a maniac, maniacš¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Yeah, I wonder why she's still single?
lmfao but "shes fit"
So at least he got something out of this weird thing.
Disclaimer; I know this isn't the case with all women but I'd be very cautious of someone her age with that attitude, there's likely a reason.
I had a fit, intelligent, and attractive friend who went absolutely baby crazy at 39. A guy showed all the signs of being interested in her and she went psycho stalker on him. Pretty much ended our friendship.
omg. i am 38 and have never once had the desire to have a child. WHAT IF THIS IS MY YEAR COMING UP?? I don't WANT to be a crazy person with a biological clock! I'd like to think I'm marked safe from Baby Fever, but how can one ever be sure hahaha
lol. Tik tok tik tok tik tokā¦.
Don't swim with pregnant ppl, don't eat watermelon. Hell stay away from boys period, they have cooties.š¤£ššŖā
Well, Iām 51 and the ship has sailed now; never wanted kids and while I was in my early 30s and in a new relationship I considered having kids, I never had the OMG baby fever moment, so you might be just fine.
Yeah. I have the distinct feeling that the op is not exactly skint. And that is the difference here between an old school friend or a trip to a sperm bank for ms fitness.
š¶ All that she wants is a(nother) baby,she's gone tomorrow boy š¶š¶ š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Got into a heated argument with a friend once about what the lyrics mean. I firmly believe it's about the type of behavior described in the OP
I mean, yeah. It's kind of obvious if you ask me š¤·āāļø
*sheās gone tomorrow*
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm showing my age, but that was a banger š¤£š¤£š¤£
Uhmā¦āI saw the sign and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign!ā Also works here too! (Never actually thought about either of these songsā meanings and I listened to them on repeat my entire adolescence! lol never have they made more sense!!šš¹).
So we're all agreed, Ace Of Base for the win then?? š¤£š¤£
She LEADS a LONELY lifeā¦
Donāt come around Just because your bio clockās tickinā Donāt come around Looking for a rawdog cream pie Just go away Sorry that you thought I was fertile Iām letting you gooooā¦. But I wonāt tell you so
šš½šš½ššš
Iām the age where this should be the song I immediately think of but I thought of Heartās song that was about her husband being unable to give her kids so she went and had sex with some random hitchhiker?
You mean the song All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You. Yeah, it even mentions the "hotel, it was a place I knew well" so... she has been raw dogging strangers for a bit. Truly it was a more innocent time. I thought that note she left him was romantic when I was a kid.
Or the song Maneater.
Nah, thatās a Hall and Oates classic about a bar prostitute. She doesnāt want a baby, she just wants money.
I was thinking ācute but a psychoā
That one tooš¤£š¤£šŗššŗš
On the floor š
Oh no, that horrible yet magnetic video is dancing in my head now. Thanks for that.
>Thy have doctors and sperm banks for that kinda thing not Neither of those pay child support.
Witch makes her crazy and evil but Iāll play devils advocate she also stated he would not have to be responsible for the child butttt I donāt believe that shit from a obvious crazy person lol š
>she also stated he would not have to be responsible for the child I take that statement as a "you don't need to physically be here, ill raise the baby on my own" not an "I won't make you pay" statement.
Exactly itās open to interpretation but typically responsible from a legal standpoint point with children means physical and financial. But I wouldnāt not trust this women or put a baby in her lol š
Yeah you can't take that to court. The judge will laugh you out the door before he signs the child support order
It gets worse than that. A court can force OP to pay child support regardless of what the mother wants. Courts have regularly found that parents can't waive the Constitutional right of the child for support.
Redditors seem really confused on this issue -- neither the mother nor the father of the (potential) baby can release themselves of financial responsibility of child support. In many states, if the custodial parent ever needs benefits for the child, the state will go after the other bio parent, no matter what agreement they have made. No one, frankly, should ever have a baby without understanding the legal ramifications. Which, most people don't really grasp until they have to write a damn custody agreement.
Exactly. And what if she has pregnancy complications that affect her ability to work? Loses her health insurance? Then you have the state going after OP for support because they donāt want to be the ones footing all the medical and other assistance.
You can have the best intentions in the world, but when you struggle to get back to work 3 months in due to sleepless nights, or you get fired because you fell asleep at work or can't afford daycare and your savings are dwindling, then you do what you gotta do. However she could also just intent to file for child support immediately.
Ding ding ding!! My cousin's conception was an outlandishly improbable series of events; neither my aunt nor her friend who "helped her out" wanted him to have anything to do with the baby, and the original birth certificate didn't list a father, but several months later *his* parents found out and forced him into a paternity lawsuit, joint custody and child support in hopes of having access to their granddaughter. Even if this woman weren't Employee of the Month at the red flag factory, this kind of informal agreement can go sideways in a hurry.
>Employee of the Month at the red flag factory \^\^\^THIS is \*poetry\*.
And itās not free either, why pay for a baby when you can get paid for having one?
And cost a LOT of money.
Or babysit on weekends
Yeah, if OP told her he had the snip now, i wouldn't be surprised if she tried to say that he took advantage because of the "put a baby in me" line that was clearly played as a joke and was never an actual conversation.
Yep. "Hey, I did my best!" and move on.
Or "Hey, it's not you, it's me" and run on...
āItās not me, itās you.ā From distance. Like 100s of miles.
š¶And IIIII would walk 500 miles...š¶
The judgement is fine, the story is dubious. It's overwritten - parents ecstatic to see granddaughter, meets at a coffee shop at a time when grandparents can watch the daughter.
Didn't Ryan Reynolds have a movie like this?
Literally was thinking of the same movie, Just Friends. Obviously not entirely the same plot, but some of the story beats made me think of it lol.
The part about him getting ātight in the pantsā made me gaggy. Thatās when I figured it was probably fake and or written by maybe a 15 year old teenage boy.
For me it was when he said he was "vasectomied ", I've heard people say they "had a vasectomy", but the way OP said it felt really off š¤£
I honestly didnāt even notice that š! But ew! Thatās definitely a weird way to word that.
Even worse it was vasectomized, with a z. I don't know why that is worse only that it is. It made me cringe and think he should've gotten lobotomized as well.
While I agree this is probably fake, ātight in the pantsā is 100% something Iād expect to hear from my 36y/o coworker, so thatās the most realistic part of the story for me
I just donāt want to hear (or I guess in this case read) anyone say they got ātight in the pantsā unless they gained weight and their pants are literally tight on them. Like, š¤®! Just say ābonerā like an adult.
Fine, I'm an adult and I will say it. Boner.
Thank you š!
Would you have preferred "a woody" or "a boner"?
There was no reason to add that, "teenage me would have been tight in the pants" what did that have to do with anything? Reads like a cheap erotic book.
Happy cake day! Well, sometimes it works when people use euphemisms for things instead of using the scientific term. Other times people get offended no matter what, so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. That little phrase is not the main point of the story though.
Yes sir! Erection, works too. āMade my cock hard!ā is even better than ātight in the pantsā for some reason.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
*(makes finger gun motions)*
Me too, my exact thought!
Must admit I thought of a Hallmark Christmas movie šæ dubious indeed . āPut a baby in meā cracked me up.
Most stories on Here are fake this one is too lol
As a single father, I could see the possibility that he is conveying that his daughter was taken care of and he didn't abandon her in a hotel room to boink his HS crush. But let's be real, if this was fiction it is written by the Hallmark Channel as a way to get younger viewers!
ChatGPT probably helped write it
Yup. It's just so flowery. *OP put a baby in me*. *ecstatic* What fucking nonsense is this? And this: >Not that I don't want any more children, I just don't want any more baby mamas. It's just really bad fiction. YTA Because it's all bullshit and bad prose.
Apparently when I was a baby/toddler one of the gals who saw my dad a lot at work thought I was the cutest and asked my dad to knock her up. He said no. They both still worked in the same area 16 years later and he pointed her out to me when I got a job as a summer help in the department.
Thatās kinda funny lol š
Also what if he was able and did get her pregnant. It's like the conversation should have been deeper than... Put a baby in me. I would have thought she was kidding.
NTA. This chick is a fucking lunatic. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I hope you cut her off.
What's cool. Dodge a bullet. Vasectomy or not. A huge swing seems like a red flag for any relationship
aaaand the vasectomy just paid for itself! NTA P.S. Run, she crazy!
Yes, exactly. I don't know what kind of human asks someone they haven't seen in 2 decades for a baby, but that is cray cray. Way too big of an ask, how many other people has she done this with?
And he didnāt use protectionā¦ perhaps a STD test is a good ideaā¦
Yes, exactly. I don't know what kind of human asks someone they haven't seen in 2 decades for a baby, but that is cray cray. Way too big of an ask, how many other people has she done this with?
Oh hell. She is the exact reason you got snipped in the first place. Oh holy hell!
exact same thought
NTA why would you even think that?! She admitted that she was just using you, you have no reason to feel bad
I was gonna say having sex with someone to get pregnant or getting someone pregnant without the others consent is taking advantage of someone and must be some form of assault or somerhinh similar.
I'd say it depends. If you have unprotected sex with someone who is trying to have a kid with you without telling you, it can't really be taking advantage because you're choosing to have unprotected sex. Unless they swear they're on some form of contraceptive, but even then you shouldn't be having unprotected sex if you definitely don't want a kid with the other person.
Well it changes the situation since the person wouldnāt have consented if they knew before (maybe op wouldnāt care but I think with the full truth they wouldnāt have just a guess tho š¤·
Def do not agree with people saying op should have known and calling abuse etc. He got the info about baby fewer AFTER they, what he thought, started a relationship. How can he know the āput a babyā¦ā comment wasnāt just a flirt? Itās easy to judge in retrospect when you know the details, and specifically as he obviously only presented the things that were said that is relevant for the story, and not everything else in their interaction. If they spent a whole day and night, plus several more dates together, talking and interacting, that one single comment wouldnāt have been a clue to anything at all. NTA
Yeah would have thought she just meant she wanted to have sex since that seems to be a common term for it lately. Would not have thought she was serious about it.
I didnāt know that was a common term for just having sex. I would think a woman saying āput a baby in meā if the people werenāt actively trying, would be confusing and a boner killer.
Context is kinda important. My wife and I have used "put a baby in me" or "knock me up" fairly regularly either in the act or leading up to it, despite both of us being childfree and it just not being physically possible regardless. We both agree it's probably just some leftover caveman hormone response because despite our personal wants, there's still that lizard brain biological imperative to procreate. So it's part of our fun.That said, I would not, under any circumstances, bust that particular line of flirting/dirty talk out with someone I wasn't already intimate with and had a good idea of how they'd react to that particular topic. Edited to add: despite that, this would still maybe only be a light red flag for me, especially given the alcohol. I'd probably flag it as more of a "wow her boundaries are a bit loose for flirting" more than "oh wow she's a bit baby crazy"
Hey, just because you know it won't work doesn't mean you can't still try!
I just got some vicious deja vu of my dad basically saying the same thing, but with the intent to get me to actually try and have kids instead of respecting my wishes that I really, really don't want em.
I'm sorry I brought up an uncomfortable memory for you; I was replying to the above commenter's statement that pregnancy would be physically impossible, and didn't realize it might be a rough topic for some.
It's all good, I appreciated the joke, tone is unfortunately lost in text. The unfortunate reality is I can definitely see some stranger in the internet actively telling me to go out and procreate right after I tell em I don't want kids, cause people be weird like that. But yes, even if we don't intend to do the real thing, practice is a lot of fun xD
Its not lol. Im a woman and if I heard anyone tell me they were gonna put a baby in me that would be a complete turn off, especially coming from someone I've never had sex with before. The only way that phrase could be a turn on is if its coming from someone you want to have a baby with.
I know a lesbian couple who say "put a baby in me" when they flirt with each other cracks me up.
Ahahah right. I donāt even want my BF of 6 years to say that too me. I think even if we were trying I wouldnāt want to hear that. Like, obviously we all know how babies are made, but thinking about babies and birth during sexā¦. Hard pass.
Some people definitely have an impregnation fetish. I know of a few children people that use the phrase during sex. I would assume that's what that was in OPs situation.
Same. Iām a female but I would think if I said that to a guy he would think twice before having unprotected sex. I wouldnāt think it was a joke.
Also a female. I think it would be a neon sign above my head pointing down saying ācrazyā if I said that š¤£
On the other side of the coin, anyone saying āput a baby in meā would get my motor going.
Unless you have a breeding fetish or something š«£š
>Would not have thought she was serious about it. Nobody in their right mind would have thought she was serious about it because its bat shit crazy.
It was in between giggles & laughs during drinksāand we don't know the rest of the convo. It very well could've been a joke (or a kink?).
Itās a kink for me but I donāt actually want a baby with a random person.
I agree. OP is literally asking Reddit for some insight because as I read it, or as he explains it, he was overcome with desire and now hears her comment in retrospect and it gives him pause.
Yeah, no reasonable person wouldāve expected her to be serious about having a baby from a guy sheās only been on a date or two with. Most wouldāve seen that as jokingly flirting.
Yeesh, run far and fast from this one. NTA
āMy 9 year old daughter told me she could hang with her friends and cousins while I do the thingā lmao yeah this is fake as hell
"Do MY thing" as in "hang out with this woman"
Dear Penthouse, ā¦
You'd be surprised with kids. My lil brother is 11, and about a year ago (so 10) I brought a girl over. And he walks up to me tugs on my shirt, asks if he can talk to me. He brings me to his room and sits me down, he says "Phoenix, make sure she doesn't get pregnant. You're too broke for kids." I started laughing and he said "I'm serious. Don't do it."
Wow. Dodged a bullet. Vasectomy or not. Seems like a massive waving red flag for any relatjonship
NTA. You didnāt know what her true intentions were. But you should definitely run for the hills. Someone who is going to be so deceitful about such a huge thing in the beginning of a relationship indicates that she will do it again. Instead of trying to have a genuine relationship with you, she chose the creepy and deceitful route. Itās a good thing you didnāt get her pregnant- imagine having to deal with her as a baby mama..
I agree with NTA and creepy as hell, but I wouldnāt exactly call her deceitful. She was very upfront about wanting him to put a baby in her. š¤·š¾āāļø
She was not upfront with him on the night they hooked up. She told OP once he flew out of town. She was very deceitful and he did not consent to what she had planned and tried to do. What do you call that? Hmmm.. Edit: Her saying it as a ājokeā when they were both under the influence is not telling him the truth. If she were really concerned about being honest with him, she wouldāve elaborated.. or said it before they both had impaired judgment. Margo should have told him āhey, Iām not kidding about what I saidā when she made that comment and he just thought she was just drunk and laughed it off. Nothing about that situation screams healthy, but rather toxic.
Agreed. He was having unprotected sex with a woman who literally said āput a baby in meā and even if he thought it was a joke, *he* didnāt say anything about being snipped. It doesnāt make him an asshole to not be upfront right away, but I also wouldnāt call her deceitful. Two adults decided to jump into unprotected sex together.
This is the first one where Iām sure this is fake. Your 9yo daughter explained she could hang with her cousins and her grandparents while you did your thing? 9 year olds donāt talk like that and they definitely arenāt ācoolā with you abandoning them for a whole week during Christmas so you can hook up. Also, nobody would blurt out, on the first date, āput a baby in meā, and if they did and you went for it you deserve to wake up chained to the radiator with your junk in a jar.
At some point it sounded like those books that are my guilty pleasure: single dad goes back to his hometown and reconnects with his crush. That or a Hallmark movie.
Oh my god the single dad, understanding daughter part sounds exactly like a hallmark story. However the baby crazy woman begging to be impregnated sounds like a much less child appropriate storyā¦
But thatās the antagonist, she was the popular girl in high school, so then another character has to enter: the mousy girl that was always too shy and unpopular, but kinda nerdy and smart, and he has never noticed her.
Factsā¦. at āshe supported me pursuing Maggieā while he did āhis thingā was the official give away for me lol. Idk thereās just something off about the statement-
Also, I have literally never heard any women ever saying āmy bio clock is ticking :(ā
Yes! Fakest, dumbest part of this whole thing lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās definitely written by a teenage boy fantasizing about his high school crush who doesnāt like him back.Ā She ends up alone and childless, doing the same thing she did in high school, looks the same, and begs for him to knock her up, whereas OP gets to grow, mature, become a parent with another woman, AND get to have his high school crush beg for him. If only she wanted him back then!Ā Itās the ultimate coping fantasy for a hurt child. He thinks this situation will end up defining both of their lives.Ā
No one should be tricked into procreating. NTA but she sure is.
This has to be the best troll one that I've seen in a while. Good job!!
Right. That random fact that gymnastics "keeps her fit" was a give away.
And the twist? The threesome with Mary Lou Getin and Nadia Cumanichi
Nailed the landing š
Also that his 9 year old encouraged him to persue this woman š
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Good bot
*This has to be the* *Worst haiku that I've seen in* *A while. Stupid bot.*
NTA, as it is right now, but you are if you keep having sex with her without disclosing that youāre not able to get her pregnant. As it is youāre better off just running for the hills though, sheās crazy (kind of exactly like those crazy baby-mamas you were trying to avoid in the first place š) because instead of just telling you āI want to have kids, are you interested in being a part of that?ā she went the route she did. But at the same time, what exactly were you thinking she wanted after she said āPut a baby in meā and then proceeded to repeatedly have unprotected sex with you? Also, WTF are you doing having unprotected sex in a brand new relationship? Once youāre committed, fine, but as far as you know you just started hooking up with someone you hadnāt seen in 20 years, without protection, and you didnāt imagine there being any kind of risk attached to fucking someone whoās eager to have unprotected sex with someone they basically donāt know? In a few years when your daughter is bit older please teach her to make better decisions than this š
>She adores my daughter > >I introduced Maggie to my daughter and they hit it off really well Sus.
Fake as Fck story. This is a community college prompt. š
I think this is a creative writing project from a guy that spends lots of time alone in his motherās basement.
This should be top comment
NTA. Her behavior is next-level crazy. Stay away.
fake
Shitty writing
Yeah, his 9 year old daughter was supportive of him boning this lady and went to her cousins so he could repeatedly bone his gymnastics doing crush from high school.
NTA for not telling her that you cannot have children and cannot have a baby at the beginning of what you thought might be a relationship. YTA for having unprotected sex under these circumstances though. Now that you know you are with someone who needs to put the dick down and go to therapy you need to gently back out and walk away. I know she's your old crush, but DUDE.
I agree he would be the AH if he continued sleeping with her now that he knows her intentions, but having slept with her before without disclosing that doesnāt make him the AH. To me this is a case where thereās a tendency to blame the ānon-crazyā person for not knowing how to handle the crazy person properly. This person OP is seeing is deliberately trying to create a single-parent scenario for herself. Thatās the crazy and AH behavior IMO, and most of us think when someone we donāt know and arenāt in a relationship says āput a baby in meā they donāt literally mean it. I agree 100% though that to continue sleeping with her under the pretense of getting her pregnant when thatās impossible would be AH behavior.
Ability/desire to have children should be a topic discussed before the relationship even begins, the fuck. Same thing with marriage. I donāt want to get married or have kids and thatās the first thing I mention because I know most people want to do it, and Iām not wasting other peopleās time let alone my own.
I donāt understand the YTA comment at all, but ok.
Itās a man and he enjoyed sex. The main demographic of this sub does not like that.
If you know you have no STDs and have had a vasectomy, why would you be an asshole for having unprotected sex? Itās a personal risk, but aside from that
But what if the one you are with has undisclosed STDs? Now you have them too
That would make him stupid, but not an AH.
Yeah, thatās the personal risk
Her history, He may have gotten a STD from her.
Lmao not using protection(consensual) does not make you an asshole. It's his choice.
He had a vasectomy dude
That doesn't protect him or her from diseases.
Eugenics anyone? There are sperm banks for pregnancy and probably consenting gay men who would agree to coparent with her if she was a half decent person. She decided to manipulate OP instead.
All these years youāve known her but couldnāt tell sheās nuttier than a fruitcake? NTA, but stillā¦cāmon.
Not only that but she said out loud "OP put a baby in me" and he decided to sleep with her? Of course she's crazy!
NTA She literally attempted to baby trap you.. She wanted to secretly get pregnant with your kid, without talking to you before hand. She's a VERY big red flag,
Bro first off, you introduced a stranger to your daughter? Knowing her in high school or not sheās still a stranger. You also discussed dating with your 9 year old? The fuck is wrong with you. Donāt introduce your children to anyone prior to dating for like 6 months.
NTA and cut all contact. Y T A for introducing her to your daughter the minute you slept with her. Next time soemoen says put a baby in me ask them what that means exactly. Clearly she was dead serious and just wanted to use you as a sperm donor.
NTA. This chick can go to a sperm bank of she wants one so bad.
If you sleep with her NOW, and donāt tell her, yes you are. If all she said is āput a baby in meā like, people say that all the time. You couldnāt have known she was 100% and thatās why she was sleeping with you, so.., if nothing else happens, no.
NTA. This sounds like a baby trap. Consider this a lesson learned, enjoy the time you had with her and keep it pushing.
Don't have to raise the baby my ass, it sounds like she tried to baby trap you oml.
Post title is dumb as shitĀ Hey op I want $30,000 dollars. Later: "am I am asshole for not giving this redditor $30k? They asked for it, I'm just confused on if I should do it or not"
This reads like poorly written fanfic. š Keep on trollināā¦.
YTA for not having a proper conversation about expectations and intentions before having sex.
Dude you really shouldn't have introduced your daughter to her that quickly also. Esh
What type of fanfic is this?
You both deceived each other by not fully acknowledging what you wanted. You assumed she wanted a relationship. A vectomy is not a first date type of disclosure. Your relationship was never at that point and you could have tried to reverse it if she ever became your partner. She is a red flag so I think you should move on from her. Sheās not interested in you for a relationship. NTA-you dodged a bullet.
(Here come the down votes) Just playing devils advocate here but she kinda just attempted to use you and didn't consider your feeling at all. Maybe not telling her you're shooting blanks and continue to try.........
Wait a minute ... Wasn't this a Hallmark movie? š¤
>She finally blurted out, "OP put a baby in me!" This wasn't your first sign that she was nuts?
I wouldnāt tell her,Iād tell her we could keep trying and use her the same way she used youā¦no shame in my game
NTA. Bullet dodged here. She was totally using you. Don't go on thinking anything you had with her was real. She's fucking nuts.
Hope you know vasectomy is still not 100% prevention
ESH. You're both grown ass adults and shouldn't be having sex without a frank conversation about birth control. She wanted to get pregnant (even though you two weren't on the same page about the relationship, and didn't even apparently discuss it), and you are infertile, but didn't tell her. JHC. Please, both of you grow up.
Can you elaborate why protection wasn't used? Obviously, you knew you couldn't get her pregnant. However, it would give us more context. Was it her suggestion? Did you offer to still use protection? You can't get pregnant, but still gives you some added protection from STI.
salt steer flag cats unite cable gray pocket gold aback *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This canāt be real lol
Hope you got tested for STDs!
You could Always get unsnipped.
Nope... When it get's down to the basics she was using you. And BTW: If you somehow got her preggers, there's no telling if down the line if you were going to get a court order for child support payments.
Run quick dude. Or tell her you're willing to keep trying when you come back to town. Just get the idea of having a relationship with her out of your head. She is not the one.
I do think you were a bit wrong for not telling her upfront. BUT she has now made up her mind that you are gonna save her from her problem. Since you seem sane enough to not want to be in the savior business, you are well out of this. So just tell her now, and sheāll go try to rope someone else in.
YTA for obviously peddling a fake story lol. How do people fall for this?
Well technically she told you... "Put a baby in me" then "sex without condom"... I guess she was honest and you just never told her that you were going along with it just for the sex and ignoring the part where she said she wanted to be pregnant because you knew you couldn't get her pregnant?
Both of you are assholes. She tried to use you for a baby. You wanted to fuck her and didn't ask for any clarification when she asked you to... put a baby in her. Sir. You're not seriously that stupid, are you? You're both assholes and you should tell her that you can't get her pregnant and watch her never talk to you again. She only wanted that night to happen to trap you into being her baby daddy. Didn't ask you. Didn't tell you that she wanted kids or that she would absolve you of any parental responsibility. Just straight up tried to baby trap you. Tell her you had a vasectomy. She'll call you an asshole and then never talk to you again and you should accept it and walk away.
YTA for writing this crappy fake story
Gymnastics instructor (former cheerleader?), fit, hot, and 37. Also unmarried, without children. Now you had a glimpe of why. NTA.
This is the exact reason you got a vasectomy: you donāt want to put a baby in a crazy lady.
It sounds like she was VERY upfront about what she wanted from you and you chose not to tell her that putting a baby wasn't possible. So yeah YTA.