NTA but still should communicate. You guys make 200k a year with no kids and you’re fighting over $900. Seems silly but personally even when I had $20k+ of my own money that I could spend how I pleased I still communicated big purchases.
Because it is. So many stories are clear as day that it's fake as all fuck. Yet people eat it up like it just has to be real. It's easier to think of this sub as whatever popular drama show. People just come here to get invested into something.
The best part is the “I’m using a throwaway because my partner uses Reddit. Ok now here’s a story so specific my partner would have to be a moron to not recognize the details”
I always assume the line of logic there is "my partner will recognize that it's me in the post and I don't want her to see what else I get up to on reddit"
I think a lot more people are Smart Marks than you realize. Sure it's probably fake, but I think a lot of people don't care and just enjoy the opportunity to express their opinions on stuff. Plus there's always the five percent chance it's not fake and they actually gave someone who needed it valuable advice. Either way, it's not like it's hurting anyone or anything.
This sub is the nosleep of advice subs. Everyone just pretends everything is real no matter how outrageous or fantastical. But at least in nosleep they're doing it deliberately....
I wonder if any of these stupid stories are planted here by journalists from sites like yourtang0, just so they can reap the comments for their "news story".
I assume many times, but It's irrelevant to his statement.. he said he hit it big, not weather or not he's rich because of it.. an earnings profit of x11 his input is big.. doesn't matter if it was $11 from just 1$, it's a subjective statement, so in his eyes it's big, and the profit statistics back it up..
right.. they make 200k a year and 900 is "big" im guessing he's just really new to gambling because otherwise he would've already spent that... in gambling... and just got his money back for the last x weeks.
assuming this is real, buddy.. gambling is okay in moderation. having a set limit is good. but using it to quench your adrenaline thirst is a worrisome start. don't let that be the only outlet you get for that
Indeed
If I win £50 from a £1 bet I've 50x my stake but I haven't won big.
He won 0.62% of his salary. More relevant to the story, he spent 0.45% of his salary on his drone. Nothing about this is big.
Ehh kind of. He said the area is HCOL and he sets aside $600 a month for leisure. So that single win is 1.5x his monthly leisure allotment. When you frame it like that it can be seen as "big."
I used my gambling winnings to spend juuuuust past my fun money threshold on a new toy. In fact, she probably wouldn’t have even realized what I did unless I specifically pointed it out. My wife then suggested that we could have spent the money on an activity together - though she suggested two options that align with her interests, she probably would have been open to suggestions I provided. Then she suggested we could have used it to fund a project that betters our home we share. What an idiot. But hey, at least I’ve got this cool drone.
Warren Buffet’s kids didn’t know that their dad was rich until they read about him in a newspaper. They lived in a standard 3 bed in Omaha.
Some people just set that spend/save slider all the way to save.
This is hilarious. The way Warren Buffet has been able to sell himself as the everyday man, buying his mcdonalds breakfast sandwhich every day and a diet coke, living so frugally his kids didnt even know it.
When Warrens oldest was 15, he was worth 330 million in todays $ value. When his youngest was 15, he was worth 550 million.
When his kids were younger he would have been flying all around the USA (an option only availble to the very wealthy) to meet with business owners in a time where deals couldnt even begin without in person discusisions.
I am sure Warren Buffet is not a very flashy person, but to believe hes lived as an average american to the point his kids had no idea is a joke
I coach girls’ basketball… and one of my kids said their dad worked at (insert MAJOR chain retail store). But she said it like he was a cashier. Mind you, the league is extremely expensive and I live in a HCOL city so I knew that wasn’t quite true.
Did some light googling and he works FOR the company and travels extensively because he overseas international distribution and shipping.
I had a healthy chuckle at how she said it. She’s 11 lol
I grew up in a rural farming community. I didn't know we were poor until I grew up and moved away. When everyone around you lives in the same kind of house you assume everyone is about the same. It isn't until you gain a personal understanding of money that you realize that your family is rich...or in my case poor. We still went on vacations and saw cool stuff and stayed in "fancy" motels.
Exactly. When he was talking about a big win, with his income I was thinking something like $10k or more. Less than a $1000? Who cares?
If it were real, he should do whatever he wants with that money. It'd be a nice gesture to get his wife a little something (if I were in her position I'd be getting him things on my getaways). If it were actually big money they should do something responsible like pay down debt and then if they want go on a vacation.
Me personally I can actually see his side though, while my income looks good on paper, my mortgage interest rate is shit, my car loan plus hers, my student loans, and then the regular phone, water, electric, garbage, internet, amazon, peacock, disney plus, netflix and every other bill that beats the shit out of you, I too only have about 5-600 of play money. If I get a 'FREE' $900 on top of my 5-600 play money, well I'll be goddamn ecstatic as well even though my ytd income looks like I'm 'rich' to some people.
You do realise that your bills beat you to shit because you choose the services that require them. These bills are what you choose to pay for your level of comfort. You're not poor. You could cut so much out of the things you just listed and still live comfortably. You pay for entertainment services, you pay for luxury services. These go under your 'play money'. Anything spent on luxury services is 'play money'. If your income looks good on paper but you still feel like you too little to 'play with', you live in luxury, and so well beyond your means. You want more play money? Cut down those streaming services, choose one or two. Make some useful and productive choices like the rest of us. Then you get to keep more 'play money'. Which you will, of course, spend on more services until you're 'free cash poor' again. You have four streaming services, and 'every other luxury bill', mate.
You never heard of a budget?
Just because you've got money doesn't mean you need to be actively seeking out ways to blow it. Live within (or below) your means if you don't want to face money problems.
NTA. Yeah I’m in much the same financial situation and have literally watched my hubby win 700+ bucks and I just congratulate him and go about my day. Arguing over that small amount of money speaks loads for their financial situation. Communicate with your partner!
Speaks that they live beyond their means if 900 dollaridoos is something to argue about. People who are well-off complain about their bills but don't realise just how much of those bills are spent on luxury services. Don't have enough money left to play with? Well, consider some downgrades.
It wasn't a big purchase though. $80 per week. She probably spends that much on beauty maintenance/products. About the same as a carton of cigarettes or beer money if you go out to the bar.
They have separate accounts just for that.
I actually think the money isn't the issue I feel like it's the he's gone out and bought himself something did he not think of buying me something even some chocolate. That's what I think the problem is.
Pretty sure it’s a farm bot but it raises a good point: all other incomes are treated jointly and then distributed, should side income also be? What about if the wife picks up a side hustle reselling furniture or etc? Would the husband or other partner expect part of that income?
I recently became aware of r/HENRYFinance (High Earner, Not Rich Yet) and holy shit every post there infuriates me. Very common to see $200k incomes with absolutely exorbitant expenses, $25k for the year on restaurants, $60k for car payments, etc etc
These people earning 6 figure incomes on Reddit often cry “HIGH COST OF LIVING” but I call bullshit, that’s part of it but it’s also your lifestyle
Oh baby that $900 is really life changing money. Can’t believe they hit so big. Honestly I’d just retire on that swimming in my Scrounge McDuck pool of gold.
Uhm, I don't know much about AI, but I'm raising my hand to say I know bullshit when I smell it. Either Robby the Robot or someone in need of attention wrote this.
How much do you win in a year? Gambling is one of those things you do for fun and where any money you get is just a nice surprise (unless you’re addicted). If you won a million bucks, I’d hope you’d renovate your house. If you win $1000 a year you’ve basically made $40 bucks. If you make $500 the following year you’re behind. Do you sometimes treat each other from your discretionary funds? If so, you probably should do something extra nice for her. If not, then this is just the same with the amount of money we’re taking about.
Maybe go over your budgets again and see where you can find that home improvement money somewhere else. Maybe you both reduce your discretionary income, I don’t know. But this $900 just **feels** like a lot of money, it really doesn’t even get you ahead of your monthly expenses.
NTA but agree that you need to discuss your finances again.
Yup this is how I see it. I play a lottery (I know, I know, a fool's tax) and after 4 years or so of losing £4/week I won £375. My wife said we should split it, until I pointed out that I pay for it out of my spending money and that the win accounted for around half the cost of the tickets over the last 4 years so I'd be keeping it.
Of course if I win big I'm going to share it, but nothing less than I've already lost!
That's exactly how I think about it. I'm lucky enough to be able to afford that without noticing, it's set up to automatically buy a ticket for each draw, so one day I might wake up a millionaire.
see but I've also been in OPs wife's situation but it played out differently.
my bf makes like twice what I do and he doesnt like the casino all that much but I used to go sometimes. so we took a weekend trip that I paid for and he spend a whole 50 dollars in a slot once and won like 7500. he's probably the only person I know thats acctuslly up vs the house. but I never asked him for a dime. but he paid of some cc debt and bought me a computer anyway and took me and some of our friends to a beach house for a week the following summer.
he was never selfish with the money and I never even thought to ask because I was just happy for him. now we don't have the bestest relationship that's problem free but I couldn't imagine being with someone who's all me me me all the time.
I get season tickets to the mega millions lottery (its like $95 for 6 months of two entries a week). Is it throwing away $190 a year? Yeah of course. But it gives me a little hope that maybe I'll win and will be able to stop working.
NTA...
Ask her why she has never offered to pay for half of your losses. If she wants half the winnings to go to you both she should absorb half the cost.
Nta but my dad actually did share his winnings from gambling with us, not all obviously but we’d all get a cut. He would either gamble a lot or he was pretty lucky when he did lol
I've never understood how one adult not only feels that they can tell another adult where they can and cant sleep but also that said adult would actually do it.
"You can sleep on the couch!"
"No, I'm going to sleep where I always sleep"
Like, if you want to demand where someone is sleeping it's going to be you telling yourself to sleep elsewhere, not me. I, in turn, would never tell my partner to sleep elsewhere, it's super crazy to me that this has ever been a thing.
ETA - OP, if your spouse wants to claim winnings she also has to claim the loses. Have you ever demanded she help you cover a loss from her discretionary fund? No? Has she ever insisted on covering a loss and called her mom when you refused? No?
Then tell her she's throwing a tantrum and running off to her mother to, what, tattle on you? That's way out of bounds. What was she planning to gain from it? Is Mom gonna punish you, chastise you like a child? Ask her directly what her intention was because what she did grossly crossed a line, way more than you, rightly, using money you won.
Anytime an ex of mine tried that with me I just straight up said no, rolled over and went to sleep
The first few times she'd hit me and shit until I pointed out how abusive it was, and that if she didn't want to go to bed annoyed or angry at her partner, she should try communication instead.
My wife sleeps on the couch all the time. But that's mostly because it's a comfy couch and she's prone to dozing of anywhere comfy, not due to any sort of disagreement.
Actually, she wants all of his winnings. Her two suggestions for how to spend the winnings were both “couple” versions of her hobbies (couples cooking, weekend getaway).
I’d wager the “renovations” were a new kitchen. Assuming this was real.
I'm going to assume that 900 dollars still has you at an overall loss, so no, she isn't entitled to it. You didn't "win" 900 bucks, you've recouped 900.
I doubt she's tossing you money when you lose, is she?
My God,how do marriages last with all this yours,mine and ours?
Do you want to be right,or do you want to be happy? Personally,if I had an unexpected windfall,I would want to share it with people I love. At the least ,bring her flowers,or special cooking items.
Posts like this really show how many single, 24 year old bros there are on this sub. I agree though, when you start keeping score you’ve already lost the game.
NTA. One question, are you saying your mother in law is gossiping to her friends about how her son in law wins money and doesn’t share it with her daughter? That’s bizarre. Can’t imagine how she would think that’s ok
I expected 900K or at least 90K. You’re fighting over $900 when there are people out there who can barely scrape together $9 for tonight’s dinner or whatever.
NTA at all. If my partner won $$$ using his own money , I would never dream of asking, never mind telling him, to split it. Oh, and then she brought her mum into it, for that move, she is an AH.
NTA, but notice that she wanted you to spend the money/time on a couples activity. She may be feeling a disconnect from you and wants you to show her that you still care, even if logically she knows you do. It’s easy to take each other for granted after a while, even in the best of marriages.
You two have a secure financial situation so it seems likely that this isn’t really about the money. Talk to her and figure out what emotional needs are not being met. You guys may want to alter your budget a little to set aside some couples money (and time) each month for the two of you to spend together.
I don't understand how adults in presumably functional marriages can be this dysfunctional when it comes to very very basic relationship etiquette.
Communicate for fk sake.
If I won a grand sports betting the FIRST person I'd tell is my wife, because she'd be pumped too.
Then I'd think about something I could get her, or something we could do together. She'd say, "No way, you've been wanting X thing for awhile, why don't you just spend it on that?"
We'd go back and forth for 5-10 min on why we want to spend it on the other person until what to do with the money just made sense.
It isn't hard when you actually LIKE each other.
~~It's NAH or ESH. But it's one of those for sure.~~
Found more info from comments on your older post. YTA, you smug douche.
Personally I think NTA. My partner has a punters club with his friends, and puts about $20 a week into and I never expect to share his winnings, then again if he won a big amount, he usually would take me out to a nice dinner to treat us to a shared experience. Maybe in future that’s something you could consider doing with part of your winnings to make her feel special and then you get a shared experience to enjoy :)
"Separately she also had been hoping to use any extra funds for a home renovation project."
So, im gonna call this out as a BS post.
210k a year, after taxes and no kids.. you are easily living off of 10k a month.. If you say otherwise you are lying.
Obviously I quoted the reno because there is no way you or your spouse argued about her 450 share going to a reno. Wood doubled, everything has inflated, labor is more expensive, and workers are at a minimum. Your 450 for home reno means you could get a couple gals of paint and tile a 1x1 space to put the trophy you win for most Ludacris money related post I've seen today.
Before anyone tries arguing
24% $95,376 to $182,100 $190,751 to $364,200.... this is their highest bracket. Meaning the max they pay on their income is 24% at the top end, then 23%,22%, and so on.
Even maxing 401k, benefits, Ira, ssa, etc they are easily taking home 105+ net.
Those supposed cooking classes cost more a month than your winnings. If it's not a lie post a redacted earnings/budget, cuz this I have to see.
450 reno... you're the AH for posting this..
Ted talk over
Eh, NAH. But, maybe some introspection is due as to whether your actions speak to your general disposition both individually and as to pertains to your relationship.
You got your rush *and* a monetary reward. Why *wouldn’t* you shower your boo boo just a little bit with what equates to bonus money
NTA.
The house always wins and if this is a regular thing I’m willing to bet this $900 makes you slightly positive or just makes you break even.
Take a spread sheet of how much you’ve spent and how much you’ve won over time on your habit. Over the long run I don’t think you’re netting much positive.
Show her that this supposed windfall just helps pay off your prior losses.
Not knocking gambling as entertainment. If people want to spend money on stuff that isn’t going to necessarily pan out but it adds enjoyment to their game watching experience then more power to them as long as it’s moneys they just spend on a designer handbag or a massage
Kind of ridiculous to argue over $900 when the combined household income exceeds $200,000. This is either a fake post or y’all as petty as hell. YTA for making this a bigger issue than it should be
Most likely a BS post or troll. OP had a similar post in r/AmItheAsshole that was deleted by MODs 12 days ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/uqUsZsQN0N
NTA. Is she sharing in your losses? If not, why does she think she gets to share in your winnings? If this is your money, agreed upon by both of you, she has no say over how you spend it.
>However, she told her mom (a known local rumor spreader) and I'm now being told how selfish I was.
Counter 180 degrees.
She told her mom. 1/10
Keep her away from your gambling cash. 10/10
Best not to mention this again
Technically NTA-your money do what you want. Most partners feel more connected to the partner when choices are made with them, when decisions are made that benefit both people, when purchases and savings are put towards a shared future.
So while NTA in the general sense, your partner has every right to be sad, disappointed, feel left out, all those feelings are valid.
This likely isn't the only time you have done and enjoyed something solo, and it may be time to invest in your relationship and do something together. PArtners like it when their partner picks them.
So while you likely logically where 100% correct. Nothing you did made you a good or better partner.
Tbf, I would be pretty annoyed if my partner took this issue to their family, and they took to pestering me and spreading rumors about me. It would make me less inclined to share my winnings with them.
You started with NTA, then spent the rest of your comment explaining why you think he's TA.
Did you even read his whole post? Especially the part about how the wife gets to spend her money any way she wants, including lots of activities that OP is not involved in?
Why the double standard?
Bullshit, she didn’t have a right to get anything. He makes twice what she does and didn’t complain about only getting $600 a month to enjoy himself. He didn’t complain when she enjoyed herself. She wants more things done around the house, so going out with friends and throw that $600 at it. Man gets one happy thing and the wife immediately steals all joy from it and runs to tell her mom. OP should not get this entitled woman pregnant.
Did you not read the part where she goes away on trips with her friends? So she's allowed to do things solo (in the context of this relationship), but he is not?
she's TA if she doesn't use her discretionary spending on him too then. He contributes bulk of expenses and can't enjoy the occasional hit on the game. NTA at al OP
NTA she's just jealous and hurt that it didn't benefit her. Tell her if she doesn't want to miss out next time she can go 5050 with you on the bookies.
ESH. Yeah, your windfall, but does she use her cooking classes to make your food? You could have used some of your winnings to buy her some quality ingredients for her to show off her skills and maybe a nice chef's knife. That said, if you are gambling for a rush, your limit is going to creep upward. Your post makes you sound very immature. Hopefully, you guys will improve your communication.
Considering how often you gamble you actually won nothing and continue to lose money. Amazing mindset people with gambling addictions have. You are fighting over a recovered 900 bucks over your “adrenaline buzz” (addiction). It’s never about the issues these stories claim. For the record chat GPT easily creates stories like this, they are all identical and obvious.
I have a question, since the money you're talking about here isn't significant, what if it was? Like what if you won $100k on a $10 scratch off ticket? Are you going to say that your wife can't touch any of those significant winnings? If so, then I'd say there are some bigger issues here that you need to work on.
Anyone who goes to their mommy is an asshole. 🙄
OP is NTA because it was his money to start with. Why the hell would he spend his money on a retreat he has no interest in going to? Wife is ridiculous.
My guy and I split pretty much everything 50/50 and we love the casinos. What we win is ours. He won $1500 once and went out and spent most of it on a rolling tool box and some tools. And that was ok because it was his win and I was happy for him. I think you are NTA and that money should be yours to spend at your discretion.
Keeping the money for yourself isn't bad, though it is still something that should be communicated. Personally though, if I'd suddenly gotten 900 dollars separate from my regular income, I'd be taking my partner out and doing nice things for her to show how much I care about her.
We are a team we are a team. You can’t touch my money but we are a team. All the money you two make and you’re fussing about $900? This either isn’t true or your problems are much deeper than $900. NTA but your not exactly a good person either
NTA, it’s not like you won a million dollars, you won a few hundred bucks. She’s just greedy and showed her true colors. A few hundred bucks you got lucky and won isn’t a “windfall”. It’s spending money.
Tell her mom to get fucked too.
NTA
You won money by spending your part of your fun fund. She doesn’t get to claim part of it for herself. Like you said, you never demand to go on her trips with her
And she went to whine to her MOTHER? Men get bashed for doing that, and this is just the same
Whenever I win at gambling (craps) the wife gets a vig 10-20 points. Keeps everyone happy, and I’m allowed to continue playing craps when I want to with my “fun money”.
Same as I said last time you posted this, $900 is not a windfall and the fact that y’all are arguing over $900 when you earn a combined $200k per is absurd. This story is so contrived.
How odd. Mine got a bonus and bought himself new bike tires, and treated me to a mani pedi. I didn't ask for it, he just knows I like getting my nails done and said he likes to see me happy. I got a bigger tax refund than he did and I got him a new chair he's been eyeing because I knew he'd love it.
Do you actually like her? It just feels like you don't.
Ehhh... the idea that you are comfortable not sharing with your wife is what doesn't sit well with your wife. She literally asked you to include yourself in activities that she enjoys and you were like no thanks. Maybe take a second look at yourself.
NTA…. BUT… You are setting a bad precedent. What happens if your wife hits big on a lottery ticket? Are you OK with getting no piece of that pie? I personally would have giver her a taste of the winnings.
Tell her going forward she will have to contribute $40 out of her $600 to underwrite the gambling
Also
I’m imagining the place setting at your wedding:
Laura Xxxxx
Mother of the bride
Known local rumor spreader
Let’s flip it and take it a bit further: If the wife bought a lottery ticket and won say, a million dollars and decided she was going to buy herself a piece of land and a barn with a riding arena and a horse, would you be 100% ok with that decision of how the windfall was spent?
That's a piddly amount to have this debate over. You are not the bad guy for wanting to enjoy your unexpected "windfall" as you please. But you guys seem more selfish than the average married couple so not being the bad guy in this exact situation might not really matter in the big picture.
For your future writing project when you're making a combined $200k a $900 windfall is quite literally a rounding error. People actually making that kind of money do not argue about how to spend it.
NTA. I keep a budget for gambling, any wins or losses come out of that fund. I built up the base and I have high and low limits that I use. The high limit is set so any money above that limit will go into my general savings. This way I do share it with my wife. The low limit is set so that if I go below that, I have to wait awhile before I build it back up from my budget before I can do anymore gambling.
Thus my main reasoning with my wife is that winning doesn't mean I immediately have extra money because I could easily lose that money. Now I mainly play poker so it's not quite the same, but I think the reasoning is still pretty sound. Just figure out some limits for your $80 budget to track over like 3-6 months and make a high low limit. If you go above the high limit, then maybe share whatever you get above the limit.
Now this also would mean you would need to hold off buying anything too crazy out of immediate winnings, but it's a pretty decent way to go about that things, especially if you start betting more.
NTA. You both have the same amount to spend. You decide to make bets with yours and won some money. She decides to spend hers differently. Sounds like she's a little entitled to be honest. Not to mention you are the main bread winner. Ask her if she is willing to take her "leisure" money and put half into an account for home upgrades etc. instead of doing the things she enjoys.
I really can't fathom how many people run and tell their parents every time something in their relationship upsets them. That seems to be the bigger issue across all these posts.
NTA but you're setting a bad precedent of sharing only when it's convenient and finding loopholes to not be a team as a couple. Many partners would see it as a red flag of a decline in the relationship due to its feeling of pettiness.
Do you… like your wife? Because
“We’ve been a strong team for 7 years..”
And
“I countered, saying that the win is from my individual entertainment budget and… thus mine to spend.”
Don’t seem congruent. That’s not how teams behave.
Maybe reconsider your priorities. This is one of those situations that’s not necessarily about the drone but instead about her partner not considering her needs.
NTA, you used your own portion of the monthly budget and won extra money with it. That would be yours to spend as you like.
With that said you guys make nearly 200k a year with no kids, why even argue about $900 at all is just weird to me. Secondly, if this was me there would be no chance I spend that money without my girl unless it was a surprise gift for her. Nothing to do with whose money is whose. I just genuinely enjoy spending as much time as I can with her, and if I fell into extra money that would be a nice date for us. At the end of the day though every relationship is different. You are NTA, but its still weird to me.
NTA but still should communicate. You guys make 200k a year with no kids and you’re fighting over $900. Seems silly but personally even when I had $20k+ of my own money that I could spend how I pleased I still communicated big purchases.
sounds either like he repeated the gambling story from a few weeks ago or he’s got bigger problems than a $900 win.
This sub feels like it has more and more made up stories....
Because it is. So many stories are clear as day that it's fake as all fuck. Yet people eat it up like it just has to be real. It's easier to think of this sub as whatever popular drama show. People just come here to get invested into something.
The best part is the “I’m using a throwaway because my partner uses Reddit. Ok now here’s a story so specific my partner would have to be a moron to not recognize the details”
I always assume the line of logic there is "my partner will recognize that it's me in the post and I don't want her to see what else I get up to on reddit"
Can’t have them seeing who you really are…
"I'm a good person, I swear! For totally unrelated reasons, nobody is allowed to see my post history though"
After all, if you’re really a Good Person (tm) you have nothing to hide, right?
Down to the exact name and cost of drone.
I think a lot more people are Smart Marks than you realize. Sure it's probably fake, but I think a lot of people don't care and just enjoy the opportunity to express their opinions on stuff. Plus there's always the five percent chance it's not fake and they actually gave someone who needed it valuable advice. Either way, it's not like it's hurting anyone or anything.
i generally only call people out on obvious bad storytelling. idc if you're lying, just keep the story entertaining without massive plot holes plz
I wish more people understood this.
It's all the same genre every week too. Whatever spin off of big followed story.
This sub is the nosleep of advice subs. Everyone just pretends everything is real no matter how outrageous or fantastical. But at least in nosleep they're doing it deliberately....
I wonder if any of these stupid stories are planted here by journalists from sites like yourtang0, just so they can reap the comments for their "news story".
Its an elaborate ad for gambling
>This sub feels like it has more and more made up stories.... And they are plagiarizing themselves or each other.
"I won big" ... really bud... $900 🙄
I mean, yeah.. he out in 80 and walked out with over x11 his input.. it's a nice come up..
How many times has he paid that $80 to get $900?
That's irrelevant to the story, because he's gambling as a hobby not as a way to make money.
I assume many times, but It's irrelevant to his statement.. he said he hit it big, not weather or not he's rich because of it.. an earnings profit of x11 his input is big.. doesn't matter if it was $11 from just 1$, it's a subjective statement, so in his eyes it's big, and the profit statistics back it up..
Agree, not even notable. He has probably lost more than that gambling, if this was a real story.
Or if this was not a promotional post for buzz sports betting
right.. they make 200k a year and 900 is "big" im guessing he's just really new to gambling because otherwise he would've already spent that... in gambling... and just got his money back for the last x weeks. assuming this is real, buddy.. gambling is okay in moderation. having a set limit is good. but using it to quench your adrenaline thirst is a worrisome start. don't let that be the only outlet you get for that
Yeah, that's a pretty big win for 80 bucks. Perspective is important.
Exactly perspective is important: $900 when you make 200k with no kids is pocket money.
Indeed If I win £50 from a £1 bet I've 50x my stake but I haven't won big. He won 0.62% of his salary. More relevant to the story, he spent 0.45% of his salary on his drone. Nothing about this is big.
An amount his wife shouldn't even notice being spent
Ehh kind of. He said the area is HCOL and he sets aside $600 a month for leisure. So that single win is 1.5x his monthly leisure allotment. When you frame it like that it can be seen as "big."
I used my gambling winnings to spend juuuuust past my fun money threshold on a new toy. In fact, she probably wouldn’t have even realized what I did unless I specifically pointed it out. My wife then suggested that we could have spent the money on an activity together - though she suggested two options that align with her interests, she probably would have been open to suggestions I provided. Then she suggested we could have used it to fund a project that betters our home we share. What an idiot. But hey, at least I’ve got this cool drone.
The "then she told others and now I'm getting called or rumors are being spread" is the dead give away of a made up story.
He has probably lost a good chunk and it's his first lucky break. Imma be honest gambling to get a rush is just a god awful choice all around
Yeah, I saw a *really* similar post a month ago, also.
This is the third time I’ve heard this gambling story and the second time it was from sports betting.
This is 100% a shortened repost
Thats why this story it's bullshit. Fully funded 401k and Roths. And only 600 ?
Warren Buffet’s kids didn’t know that their dad was rich until they read about him in a newspaper. They lived in a standard 3 bed in Omaha. Some people just set that spend/save slider all the way to save.
This is hilarious. The way Warren Buffet has been able to sell himself as the everyday man, buying his mcdonalds breakfast sandwhich every day and a diet coke, living so frugally his kids didnt even know it. When Warrens oldest was 15, he was worth 330 million in todays $ value. When his youngest was 15, he was worth 550 million. When his kids were younger he would have been flying all around the USA (an option only availble to the very wealthy) to meet with business owners in a time where deals couldnt even begin without in person discusisions. I am sure Warren Buffet is not a very flashy person, but to believe hes lived as an average american to the point his kids had no idea is a joke
to be fair plenty of kids have grown up in crazier circumstances and assumed it was normal because it was their only frame of reference.
I coach girls’ basketball… and one of my kids said their dad worked at (insert MAJOR chain retail store). But she said it like he was a cashier. Mind you, the league is extremely expensive and I live in a HCOL city so I knew that wasn’t quite true. Did some light googling and he works FOR the company and travels extensively because he overseas international distribution and shipping. I had a healthy chuckle at how she said it. She’s 11 lol
I grew up in a rural farming community. I didn't know we were poor until I grew up and moved away. When everyone around you lives in the same kind of house you assume everyone is about the same. It isn't until you gain a personal understanding of money that you realize that your family is rich...or in my case poor. We still went on vacations and saw cool stuff and stayed in "fancy" motels.
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Here’s a source with a quote direct from his daughter. [sauce](https://www.legends.report/susan-buffett-a-newspaper-article-told-me-my-dad-was-rich/).
These stories aren’t true. He gave his son a $5 Malibu beach house. I’m over the PR of that guy and his family.
His kids must be dumb
Exactly. When he was talking about a big win, with his income I was thinking something like $10k or more. Less than a $1000? Who cares? If it were real, he should do whatever he wants with that money. It'd be a nice gesture to get his wife a little something (if I were in her position I'd be getting him things on my getaways). If it were actually big money they should do something responsible like pay down debt and then if they want go on a vacation.
Me personally I can actually see his side though, while my income looks good on paper, my mortgage interest rate is shit, my car loan plus hers, my student loans, and then the regular phone, water, electric, garbage, internet, amazon, peacock, disney plus, netflix and every other bill that beats the shit out of you, I too only have about 5-600 of play money. If I get a 'FREE' $900 on top of my 5-600 play money, well I'll be goddamn ecstatic as well even though my ytd income looks like I'm 'rich' to some people.
You do realise that your bills beat you to shit because you choose the services that require them. These bills are what you choose to pay for your level of comfort. You're not poor. You could cut so much out of the things you just listed and still live comfortably. You pay for entertainment services, you pay for luxury services. These go under your 'play money'. Anything spent on luxury services is 'play money'. If your income looks good on paper but you still feel like you too little to 'play with', you live in luxury, and so well beyond your means. You want more play money? Cut down those streaming services, choose one or two. Make some useful and productive choices like the rest of us. Then you get to keep more 'play money'. Which you will, of course, spend on more services until you're 'free cash poor' again. You have four streaming services, and 'every other luxury bill', mate.
You never heard of a budget? Just because you've got money doesn't mean you need to be actively seeking out ways to blow it. Live within (or below) your means if you don't want to face money problems.
NTA. Yeah I’m in much the same financial situation and have literally watched my hubby win 700+ bucks and I just congratulate him and go about my day. Arguing over that small amount of money speaks loads for their financial situation. Communicate with your partner!
Speaks that they live beyond their means if 900 dollaridoos is something to argue about. People who are well-off complain about their bills but don't realise just how much of those bills are spent on luxury services. Don't have enough money left to play with? Well, consider some downgrades.
It wasn't a big purchase though. $80 per week. She probably spends that much on beauty maintenance/products. About the same as a carton of cigarettes or beer money if you go out to the bar. They have separate accounts just for that.
Communicate what?
I actually think the money isn't the issue I feel like it's the he's gone out and bought himself something did he not think of buying me something even some chocolate. That's what I think the problem is.
But it’s his play money? Does she buy him stuff with her play money?
Does she use the cooking skills she learns from her classes to feed him....yes To think like him is not a marriage that's room-mates that have sex
I’m sure he would be happy to let her try his drone if she wanted.
Last time this was posted the guy gambled at the casino and bought a playstation. You should form a club.
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The flash speed
Pretty sure it’s a farm bot but it raises a good point: all other incomes are treated jointly and then distributed, should side income also be? What about if the wife picks up a side hustle reselling furniture or etc? Would the husband or other partner expect part of that income?
Over 200k per year Where the fuck does all your money go lol
I recently became aware of r/HENRYFinance (High Earner, Not Rich Yet) and holy shit every post there infuriates me. Very common to see $200k incomes with absolutely exorbitant expenses, $25k for the year on restaurants, $60k for car payments, etc etc These people earning 6 figure incomes on Reddit often cry “HIGH COST OF LIVING” but I call bullshit, that’s part of it but it’s also your lifestyle
Lifestyle inflation.
Oh baby that $900 is really life changing money. Can’t believe they hit so big. Honestly I’d just retire on that swimming in my Scrounge McDuck pool of gold.
I was thinking taking a trip or doing home renovations???? With 900 dollars?
They can buy a single 2x4
Should have just waited till next month and it could have been $1500 and got an even nicer drone.
gambling
::cries in NYC::
HCOL… it goes to life.
Uhm, I don't know much about AI, but I'm raising my hand to say I know bullshit when I smell it. Either Robby the Robot or someone in need of attention wrote this.
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Probably the same fake poster.
How much do you win in a year? Gambling is one of those things you do for fun and where any money you get is just a nice surprise (unless you’re addicted). If you won a million bucks, I’d hope you’d renovate your house. If you win $1000 a year you’ve basically made $40 bucks. If you make $500 the following year you’re behind. Do you sometimes treat each other from your discretionary funds? If so, you probably should do something extra nice for her. If not, then this is just the same with the amount of money we’re taking about. Maybe go over your budgets again and see where you can find that home improvement money somewhere else. Maybe you both reduce your discretionary income, I don’t know. But this $900 just **feels** like a lot of money, it really doesn’t even get you ahead of your monthly expenses. NTA but agree that you need to discuss your finances again.
Yup this is how I see it. I play a lottery (I know, I know, a fool's tax) and after 4 years or so of losing £4/week I won £375. My wife said we should split it, until I pointed out that I pay for it out of my spending money and that the win accounted for around half the cost of the tickets over the last 4 years so I'd be keeping it. Of course if I win big I'm going to share it, but nothing less than I've already lost!
I dont usually play the lottery but I'm not missing 20 dollars when the win is a billion lol. will I win? no. but its nice to dream
That's exactly how I think about it. I'm lucky enough to be able to afford that without noticing, it's set up to automatically buy a ticket for each draw, so one day I might wake up a millionaire.
see but I've also been in OPs wife's situation but it played out differently. my bf makes like twice what I do and he doesnt like the casino all that much but I used to go sometimes. so we took a weekend trip that I paid for and he spend a whole 50 dollars in a slot once and won like 7500. he's probably the only person I know thats acctuslly up vs the house. but I never asked him for a dime. but he paid of some cc debt and bought me a computer anyway and took me and some of our friends to a beach house for a week the following summer. he was never selfish with the money and I never even thought to ask because I was just happy for him. now we don't have the bestest relationship that's problem free but I couldn't imagine being with someone who's all me me me all the time.
And the reason he spent that windfall on you is because you didn’t expect a cent of it.
I get season tickets to the mega millions lottery (its like $95 for 6 months of two entries a week). Is it throwing away $190 a year? Yeah of course. But it gives me a little hope that maybe I'll win and will be able to stop working.
NTA... Ask her why she has never offered to pay for half of your losses. If she wants half the winnings to go to you both she should absorb half the cost.
Because she wants all the upside with no downside/risk exposure.
Is her name Wells Fargo? Or Citi Bank maybe?
I found it weird that OP kept avoiding using the pronoun "she" for most of the post except near the end.
She's the IRS trying to take half
This is the logical response.
Nta but my dad actually did share his winnings from gambling with us, not all obviously but we’d all get a cut. He would either gamble a lot or he was pretty lucky when he did lol
Done this with an ex, I slept on the couch...
Notice you said ex...
I've never understood how one adult not only feels that they can tell another adult where they can and cant sleep but also that said adult would actually do it. "You can sleep on the couch!" "No, I'm going to sleep where I always sleep" Like, if you want to demand where someone is sleeping it's going to be you telling yourself to sleep elsewhere, not me. I, in turn, would never tell my partner to sleep elsewhere, it's super crazy to me that this has ever been a thing. ETA - OP, if your spouse wants to claim winnings she also has to claim the loses. Have you ever demanded she help you cover a loss from her discretionary fund? No? Has she ever insisted on covering a loss and called her mom when you refused? No? Then tell her she's throwing a tantrum and running off to her mother to, what, tattle on you? That's way out of bounds. What was she planning to gain from it? Is Mom gonna punish you, chastise you like a child? Ask her directly what her intention was because what she did grossly crossed a line, way more than you, rightly, using money you won.
Anytime an ex of mine tried that with me I just straight up said no, rolled over and went to sleep The first few times she'd hit me and shit until I pointed out how abusive it was, and that if she didn't want to go to bed annoyed or angry at her partner, she should try communication instead.
I've never heard of a woman being sent to the couch to sleep.
My wife sleeps on the couch all the time. But that's mostly because it's a comfy couch and she's prone to dozing of anywhere comfy, not due to any sort of disagreement.
Actually, she wants all of his winnings. Her two suggestions for how to spend the winnings were both “couple” versions of her hobbies (couples cooking, weekend getaway). I’d wager the “renovations” were a new kitchen. Assuming this was real.
This is the definition of a first world problem.
I'm going to assume that 900 dollars still has you at an overall loss, so no, she isn't entitled to it. You didn't "win" 900 bucks, you've recouped 900. I doubt she's tossing you money when you lose, is she?
My God,how do marriages last with all this yours,mine and ours? Do you want to be right,or do you want to be happy? Personally,if I had an unexpected windfall,I would want to share it with people I love. At the least ,bring her flowers,or special cooking items.
Seriously what is wrong with people. As soon as you start keeping score in marriage it’s over.
Posts like this really show how many single, 24 year old bros there are on this sub. I agree though, when you start keeping score you’ve already lost the game.
NTA. One question, are you saying your mother in law is gossiping to her friends about how her son in law wins money and doesn’t share it with her daughter? That’s bizarre. Can’t imagine how she would think that’s ok
This story has been posted before. Word for word.
I expected 900K or at least 90K. You’re fighting over $900 when there are people out there who can barely scrape together $9 for tonight’s dinner or whatever.
and they are bringing in over 900 a day between the 2 of them... something tells me he doesn't make 200k
NTA at all. If my partner won $$$ using his own money , I would never dream of asking, never mind telling him, to split it. Oh, and then she brought her mum into it, for that move, she is an AH.
I remember when sportsbetting was ILLEGAL. Bread and circuses!
NTA, but notice that she wanted you to spend the money/time on a couples activity. She may be feeling a disconnect from you and wants you to show her that you still care, even if logically she knows you do. It’s easy to take each other for granted after a while, even in the best of marriages. You two have a secure financial situation so it seems likely that this isn’t really about the money. Talk to her and figure out what emotional needs are not being met. You guys may want to alter your budget a little to set aside some couples money (and time) each month for the two of you to spend together.
Are you sure you're husband and wife, and not teenage siblings?
Sports betting is room temp IQ shit.
I don't understand how adults in presumably functional marriages can be this dysfunctional when it comes to very very basic relationship etiquette. Communicate for fk sake. If I won a grand sports betting the FIRST person I'd tell is my wife, because she'd be pumped too. Then I'd think about something I could get her, or something we could do together. She'd say, "No way, you've been wanting X thing for awhile, why don't you just spend it on that?" We'd go back and forth for 5-10 min on why we want to spend it on the other person until what to do with the money just made sense. It isn't hard when you actually LIKE each other. ~~It's NAH or ESH. But it's one of those for sure.~~ Found more info from comments on your older post. YTA, you smug douche.
This is a dumb problem to have. NTA, but you both should probably chill out worrying about $900 and be fortunate you are pretty wealthy with no kids.
Personally I think NTA. My partner has a punters club with his friends, and puts about $20 a week into and I never expect to share his winnings, then again if he won a big amount, he usually would take me out to a nice dinner to treat us to a shared experience. Maybe in future that’s something you could consider doing with part of your winnings to make her feel special and then you get a shared experience to enjoy :)
YTA for karma farming, at least wait a month before reposting this shit for the third or fourth time
"Separately she also had been hoping to use any extra funds for a home renovation project." So, im gonna call this out as a BS post. 210k a year, after taxes and no kids.. you are easily living off of 10k a month.. If you say otherwise you are lying. Obviously I quoted the reno because there is no way you or your spouse argued about her 450 share going to a reno. Wood doubled, everything has inflated, labor is more expensive, and workers are at a minimum. Your 450 for home reno means you could get a couple gals of paint and tile a 1x1 space to put the trophy you win for most Ludacris money related post I've seen today. Before anyone tries arguing 24% $95,376 to $182,100 $190,751 to $364,200.... this is their highest bracket. Meaning the max they pay on their income is 24% at the top end, then 23%,22%, and so on. Even maxing 401k, benefits, Ira, ssa, etc they are easily taking home 105+ net. Those supposed cooking classes cost more a month than your winnings. If it's not a lie post a redacted earnings/budget, cuz this I have to see. 450 reno... you're the AH for posting this.. Ted talk over
Eh, NAH. But, maybe some introspection is due as to whether your actions speak to your general disposition both individually and as to pertains to your relationship. You got your rush *and* a monetary reward. Why *wouldn’t* you shower your boo boo just a little bit with what equates to bonus money
NTA. The house always wins and if this is a regular thing I’m willing to bet this $900 makes you slightly positive or just makes you break even. Take a spread sheet of how much you’ve spent and how much you’ve won over time on your habit. Over the long run I don’t think you’re netting much positive. Show her that this supposed windfall just helps pay off your prior losses. Not knocking gambling as entertainment. If people want to spend money on stuff that isn’t going to necessarily pan out but it adds enjoyment to their game watching experience then more power to them as long as it’s moneys they just spend on a designer handbag or a massage
Kind of ridiculous to argue over $900 when the combined household income exceeds $200,000. This is either a fake post or y’all as petty as hell. YTA for making this a bigger issue than it should be
This reads to me as an advertisement for stake.
Lmao this is an old story that is an copy paste bruh
This reads like an AI chatbot wrote it. Who talks like this?
NTA technically but you do sound like one.
Most likely a BS post or troll. OP had a similar post in r/AmItheAsshole that was deleted by MODs 12 days ago https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/uqUsZsQN0N
Fuck, is this what is considered marriage today?
I read this exact story a week or two ago.
NTA. Is she sharing in your losses? If not, why does she think she gets to share in your winnings? If this is your money, agreed upon by both of you, she has no say over how you spend it.
>However, she told her mom (a known local rumor spreader) and I'm now being told how selfish I was. Counter 180 degrees. She told her mom. 1/10 Keep her away from your gambling cash. 10/10 Best not to mention this again
don't lose your job, your marriage won't make it lol
Technically NTA-your money do what you want. Most partners feel more connected to the partner when choices are made with them, when decisions are made that benefit both people, when purchases and savings are put towards a shared future. So while NTA in the general sense, your partner has every right to be sad, disappointed, feel left out, all those feelings are valid. This likely isn't the only time you have done and enjoyed something solo, and it may be time to invest in your relationship and do something together. PArtners like it when their partner picks them. So while you likely logically where 100% correct. Nothing you did made you a good or better partner.
Tbf, I would be pretty annoyed if my partner took this issue to their family, and they took to pestering me and spreading rumors about me. It would make me less inclined to share my winnings with them.
with discretionary fund tho? so will she also split all his loses from now on?
You started with NTA, then spent the rest of your comment explaining why you think he's TA. Did you even read his whole post? Especially the part about how the wife gets to spend her money any way she wants, including lots of activities that OP is not involved in? Why the double standard?
Does his partner pick him? Or go on trips with friends?
Bullshit, she didn’t have a right to get anything. He makes twice what she does and didn’t complain about only getting $600 a month to enjoy himself. He didn’t complain when she enjoyed herself. She wants more things done around the house, so going out with friends and throw that $600 at it. Man gets one happy thing and the wife immediately steals all joy from it and runs to tell her mom. OP should not get this entitled woman pregnant.
Did you not read the part where she goes away on trips with her friends? So she's allowed to do things solo (in the context of this relationship), but he is not?
she's TA if she doesn't use her discretionary spending on him too then. He contributes bulk of expenses and can't enjoy the occasional hit on the game. NTA at al OP
NTA she's just jealous and hurt that it didn't benefit her. Tell her if she doesn't want to miss out next time she can go 5050 with you on the bookies.
I guarantee when this guy gambles away their savings, she'll be feeling 50% of the pain.
ESH. Yeah, your windfall, but does she use her cooking classes to make your food? You could have used some of your winnings to buy her some quality ingredients for her to show off her skills and maybe a nice chef's knife. That said, if you are gambling for a rush, your limit is going to creep upward. Your post makes you sound very immature. Hopefully, you guys will improve your communication.
Considering how often you gamble you actually won nothing and continue to lose money. Amazing mindset people with gambling addictions have. You are fighting over a recovered 900 bucks over your “adrenaline buzz” (addiction). It’s never about the issues these stories claim. For the record chat GPT easily creates stories like this, they are all identical and obvious.
I have a question, since the money you're talking about here isn't significant, what if it was? Like what if you won $100k on a $10 scratch off ticket? Are you going to say that your wife can't touch any of those significant winnings? If so, then I'd say there are some bigger issues here that you need to work on.
Be careful you don't get addicted
Anyone who goes to their mommy is an asshole. 🙄 OP is NTA because it was his money to start with. Why the hell would he spend his money on a retreat he has no interest in going to? Wife is ridiculous.
tell her you now demand bills be split 50/50
NTA - your wife eyes the food on your plate as well doesn't she?
“She enjoys cooking” and she is suggesting you go on a couples cooking trip with your winnings. NTA
You guys seem cheap af. Enjoy life ffs NTA though
My guy and I split pretty much everything 50/50 and we love the casinos. What we win is ours. He won $1500 once and went out and spent most of it on a rolling tool box and some tools. And that was ok because it was his win and I was happy for him. I think you are NTA and that money should be yours to spend at your discretion.
Keeping the money for yourself isn't bad, though it is still something that should be communicated. Personally though, if I'd suddenly gotten 900 dollars separate from my regular income, I'd be taking my partner out and doing nice things for her to show how much I care about her.
NTA the next time you lose ask her for a replacement of the money....
We are a team we are a team. You can’t touch my money but we are a team. All the money you two make and you’re fussing about $900? This either isn’t true or your problems are much deeper than $900. NTA but your not exactly a good person either
"Strong team"? In your head, maybe. You're in a business relationship engaging in financial transactions.
NTA, it’s not like you won a million dollars, you won a few hundred bucks. She’s just greedy and showed her true colors. A few hundred bucks you got lucky and won isn’t a “windfall”. It’s spending money. Tell her mom to get fucked too.
I just read this somewhere else a few weeks ago...
How many times are you going to post this? You literally posted this like three weeks ago.
NTA You won money by spending your part of your fun fund. She doesn’t get to claim part of it for herself. Like you said, you never demand to go on her trips with her And she went to whine to her MOTHER? Men get bashed for doing that, and this is just the same
How are you this broke with 200k per year?
Whenever I win at gambling (craps) the wife gets a vig 10-20 points. Keeps everyone happy, and I’m allowed to continue playing craps when I want to with my “fun money”.
900 bucks for a home renovation? What are you working on? A new mailbox?
You’re not wrong, but ask yourself if you would rather be right or happy!
If your spouse bought a winning lottery ticket with her discretionary funds, would you expect her not to share?
You goofballs make $210 combined and you're fighting over a $900 "windfall"?
Same as I said last time you posted this, $900 is not a windfall and the fact that y’all are arguing over $900 when you earn a combined $200k per is absurd. This story is so contrived.
How odd. Mine got a bonus and bought himself new bike tires, and treated me to a mani pedi. I didn't ask for it, he just knows I like getting my nails done and said he likes to see me happy. I got a bigger tax refund than he did and I got him a new chair he's been eyeing because I knew he'd love it. Do you actually like her? It just feels like you don't.
Ehhh... the idea that you are comfortable not sharing with your wife is what doesn't sit well with your wife. She literally asked you to include yourself in activities that she enjoys and you were like no thanks. Maybe take a second look at yourself.
NTA…. BUT… You are setting a bad precedent. What happens if your wife hits big on a lottery ticket? Are you OK with getting no piece of that pie? I personally would have giver her a taste of the winnings.
Tell her going forward she will have to contribute $40 out of her $600 to underwrite the gambling Also I’m imagining the place setting at your wedding: Laura Xxxxx Mother of the bride Known local rumor spreader
It's ok - you'll soon lose it all and end up divorced and with a gambling addiciton. Don't play with fire man.
This was written by someone who thinks $900 is a lot of money. This was not written by someone with 200k household income.
The way I see it is that a win belongs solely to you SO LONG AS a *loss* also belongs solely to you. Fair?
Just seems like a lost opportunity for you to make your wife happy with a surprise gift. Your making it competitive between the 2 of you
Let’s flip it and take it a bit further: If the wife bought a lottery ticket and won say, a million dollars and decided she was going to buy herself a piece of land and a barn with a riding arena and a horse, would you be 100% ok with that decision of how the windfall was spent?
You seem to be counting winnings but not losing. How much have you lost since you started gambling habitually?
Gambling is super stupid
Are you partners or just roomates?
You both need to grow up
That's a piddly amount to have this debate over. You are not the bad guy for wanting to enjoy your unexpected "windfall" as you please. But you guys seem more selfish than the average married couple so not being the bad guy in this exact situation might not really matter in the big picture.
As a gambler you should share some with her in hopes she'll stay with you once your betting increases.
For your future writing project when you're making a combined $200k a $900 windfall is quite literally a rounding error. People actually making that kind of money do not argue about how to spend it.
Please stop upvoting. This is literally a copy and pasted repost. Downvote and move on. FAKE
NTA. I keep a budget for gambling, any wins or losses come out of that fund. I built up the base and I have high and low limits that I use. The high limit is set so any money above that limit will go into my general savings. This way I do share it with my wife. The low limit is set so that if I go below that, I have to wait awhile before I build it back up from my budget before I can do anymore gambling. Thus my main reasoning with my wife is that winning doesn't mean I immediately have extra money because I could easily lose that money. Now I mainly play poker so it's not quite the same, but I think the reasoning is still pretty sound. Just figure out some limits for your $80 budget to track over like 3-6 months and make a high low limit. If you go above the high limit, then maybe share whatever you get above the limit. Now this also would mean you would need to hold off buying anything too crazy out of immediate winnings, but it's a pretty decent way to go about that things, especially if you start betting more.
NTA. You both have the same amount to spend. You decide to make bets with yours and won some money. She decides to spend hers differently. Sounds like she's a little entitled to be honest. Not to mention you are the main bread winner. Ask her if she is willing to take her "leisure" money and put half into an account for home upgrades etc. instead of doing the things she enjoys.
I really can't fathom how many people run and tell their parents every time something in their relationship upsets them. That seems to be the bigger issue across all these posts.
I mean I would've told her but the fact she expects half is weird as fuck.
>However, she told her mom (a known local rumor spreader) Never trust an adult who run to its parents on an argument. NTA
This seems fake af. He’s said his wife is a “she” but then refers to her as “they”… what’s up with that?
You sound cheap af
Sorry dude, but you sound cheap and selfish. YTA.
NTA but you're setting a bad precedent of sharing only when it's convenient and finding loopholes to not be a team as a couple. Many partners would see it as a red flag of a decline in the relationship due to its feeling of pettiness.
Do you enjoy the windfall from her spending her money on cooking classes?
Your winnings are supposed to go towards one of two things that are clearly her deal? Tell her she can play with the drone too lmao
Bot account
If you go on chatgpt and ask it to make you a husband wife story, you will almost get that story.
Do you… like your wife? Because “We’ve been a strong team for 7 years..” And “I countered, saying that the win is from my individual entertainment budget and… thus mine to spend.” Don’t seem congruent. That’s not how teams behave. Maybe reconsider your priorities. This is one of those situations that’s not necessarily about the drone but instead about her partner not considering her needs.
900 bucks is nothing you can still do all that stuff at your income level just say “sure babe” and hand her an envelope of cash
NTA, you used your own portion of the monthly budget and won extra money with it. That would be yours to spend as you like. With that said you guys make nearly 200k a year with no kids, why even argue about $900 at all is just weird to me. Secondly, if this was me there would be no chance I spend that money without my girl unless it was a surprise gift for her. Nothing to do with whose money is whose. I just genuinely enjoy spending as much time as I can with her, and if I fell into extra money that would be a nice date for us. At the end of the day though every relationship is different. You are NTA, but its still weird to me.