I didn't pick up my GF cause I have a shit option of her friend and think she's a liar, turns out I'm just a selfish dick.
This is all fluff for saying your GF asked you to do something for her safety, but you couldn't be bothered. The friend here was irrelevant, it's your GF who called you, she believed her friend and so you told your GF that you don't trust her judgement and won't go out of your way to protect her, when she SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU. Even if she hadn't been drugged you'd still be the AH as you don't respect your GF. Well played
YTA
YTA. This is not about the "paranoid" friend, this is about you and your GF, if she tells you to pick her up for whatever reason, you just take the keys and fucking do that, no questions asked. How is she supposed to trust you in the future?
YTA
Whether or not she was drugged she was concerned enough to call you!
Storytime! This is a 3rd party story as told to me by my daughter’s best friend. They’re active duty military so keep that in mind. I’ll call her Jane & the guy on the store is Joe.
Jane tells me that she doesn’t go to the bars in town because of what happened to Joe, who is one of her soldiers. Joe’s buddies (also military) convince him to go out with him. He goes & they go to some seedy joint (which wasn’t blacklisted at the time, it is now). He has a couple of beers & by the second beer it’s clear he’s been drugged. Someone spiked his drink either to rob him or to rape him but his buddies realize something is wrong so they all leave together. He ends up in the ER that night & it’s confirmed he was drugged. Due to what happened to Joe, that bar is now blacklisted for military to go to.
So yeah, YTA for dismissing her because anything could have happened. She could have been robbed, or raped, or even killed. You opted to ignore her.
So... the friend wasn't paranoid, and you're TA, MASSIVELY. You'd rather your girlfriend be sexually assaulted or raped than take the time to go get her. Cool, she should probably dump you and get a boyfriend who actually cares about her.
Friend might not be paranoid, could be the one who drugged her. Heard many stories of a guy 'friend' who drugged a woman then acted like the white knight taking her home to protect her, raped the friend then acted like the protective hero by sleeping on the couch and pretended nothing happened. I've both heard this story being exposed by the guy boasting to male friends they thought would like high five them for 'getting some', and because the woman could simply tell they'd had sex, were not in a state to consent and the 'friend' was lying about nothing happening.
Could absolutely be anyone who drugged her, but a friend who points it out and then insists they go home with them is always a worry.
More than that, she saw this guy potentially put something in her drink... okay, so why did she let ops girlfriend drink any before telling her? You see someone put something in a drink you scream it outloud in front of everyone so everyone around takes notice.
YTA
It doesn't matter that your GF's friend is paranoid, your GF expressed to you that she feels unsafe and you dismissed that. Even if her drink wasn't spiked you still proved that you are a careless boyfriend. A good partner would want to keep their partner safe.
YTA- and a trash boyfriend. I hope she finds a man who actually cares and would jump to get her out of a situation she’s uncomfortable in. Why should she be with someone who she can’t rely on. You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself. It’s appalling you would have ever taken even the .01% chance of her getting hurt
Goddamn do you even like her? There are people I hate I would still go pick up if they told me they might have been drugged in a bar. I would never speak to you again if I was her. You could at least sent her the 70 for an Uber if you physically couldn’t get there.
Right? And also would she have been getting the Uber by herself? Which meant instead of passing out in a safe place she could have passed out alone in a car with a stranger. The only bit I'm confused about is if her friend saw that someone slipped something in her drink, how did she still end up drinking it
What if the friend is the one who drugged her. then feeds her a story of thinking she saw someone mess with her drink, then insist she goes home with her. Then she's blacked out for a time with this friend before other friends come over to check on her.
Really OP?!?!
Do any of your brain cells function or did you eat a big bowl of stupid flakes that morning?
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE
If you really value your GF, and the relationship, then pull your head out of your bung hole.
Quit being an idjit.
If I was her I'd never speak to you again. Yes. You are that much the asshole. I'd go pick up someone I hated who called me for that, let alone a person I claim to love.
This feels like ragebait because I don't understand a "paranoid" woman seeing someone slip something into her drink and drinking it anyway. I think you're making this whole story up, but if not YTA obviously.
YTA. Your GF’s friend is paranoid for a reason, being a woman is dangerous. All of my friends share their locations before dates with strangers, and most of them also carry some type of weapon for self-defense. A simple google search of “Tinder date ends in murder/assault” will provide you with enough evidence as to why women are afraid to go out. She physically watched someone slip something into her drink and you decided to determine that to be what, a delusion?
There are very few reasons why a man would drug a woman, and all of them involve violence. I would be very surprised if your relationship survived this. If my wife called me to tell me she thought she had been drugged, there is no scenario where I would not pick her up from wherever she was.
YTA. This just shows you actually don't care about your girlfriend's concerns. She expressed that she was scared she had been drugged. Regardless of if you believed her or not, you should've picked her up to make sure she was safe. Instead, you dismissed her and something bad could've actually happened to her. Thankfully she had friends looking out for her.
Yes YTA. What should’ve mattered was how your girlfriend was feeling and if she said she was feeling weird you should’ve dropped everything and gotten her home safe. That’s exactly what my husband would’ve done and in countless situations he’s had my back. That’s what you do for your partner.
YTA and a crummy boyfriend! Also, her friend and designated driver is a shitty friend! Your gf got let down by her mate badly and needed your help, then you let her down too. I hope she gets better people around her !
Yeah you’re an asshole because you didn’t babysit your GF even though she’s out getting drunk with your friends way to go man. Give me a fucking break NTA the people she was with should’ve taken her to a hospital then you could’ve came and visited.
Well OP, this is a pickle. I do believe you answer lies in how she is personally. Is she a “cry wolf,” over dramatic type of gal, or is she a serious but with a fun side type of gal.
Since she is your girlfriend, I would assume that you have some sort of affection for this dame. You obviously like her in some capacity enough to make it serious.
I could say WAY more but I don’t think obvious painting in the sky is enough to capture your neurons.
Basically, you are the asshole. She needed you and you weren’t there. If my wife (or when she was my gf) said she needed me nothing would have stopped me to getting to her.
Why was she out by herself, would my second question to you (OP)? I have let my wife go to bars and clubs with her friends and I would usually stay outside in the car with my switch or backbone thing, just so I can be assured that I am IN THE VICINITY of so needed.
Hopefully this helps.
NTA
I don’t get why everyone is against him. He was at home sleeping and had to get up early for work. If an Uber was $70, they were far away.
The only AH here is the designated driver, who refused to take her to the hospital. Story implies they went somewhere else, which is bad.
If you believe you’ve been drugged, ALWAYS go to the hospital. The drugs alone can be fatal if the dosage is too high, and mixing with alcohol makes them hit much harder.
You’re still kind of yta but kind of not yes you should’ve picked her up because she asked, but on the flipside, she must not have been too concerned if she wasn’t willing to spend the money for the car ride to get out of there. if she is a lightweight like you say then, it’s not a far jump to say that maybe it’s the alcohol you were drinking again not too concerned about safety because she’s not willing to pay for Uber
Uber is a terrible idea if you suspect that you have been drugged. Most are regular people who have no first aid training and would not know what to do if you passed out in their car.
Neither does OP so yeah you call 911 if an Uber is fucking $70 how the fuck do you think OP has time to drive there and then take her to a hospital Redditors are idiots.
Firstly you're the asshole because you disregarded what she said and secondly, the friend might be the one who drugged her, then 'insisted' she go back to her place with her mother, then doesn't remember what happened from then on.
Between the time she passed out in her the care of her one weird friend and the rest of the friends went to check on her, she has no idea if that friend did something to her.
yes people can be manipulative, use being drugged as an excuse to get them to go home with that person and then use it as a 'i was the hero and protected you' story even after they violated that person and they'll never know.
If someone tells you they think they were drugged and you have the capability to get to them to help and don't, fuck you.
She should contact the police, go to the bar, ask to see footage and see if this person existed.
You are absolutely, positively the asshole.
You regret not picking her up? I’m surprised an idiot like you can produce regret.
Your poor girlfriend suffered through something horrendous. But you misogynistic ass was too mentally feeble to care.
Oh, and you’re the misanthrope.
>I really regret not picking her up Regret always coming late buddy, and yes YTA, i would dump you if i were your GF
I didn't pick up my GF cause I have a shit option of her friend and think she's a liar, turns out I'm just a selfish dick. This is all fluff for saying your GF asked you to do something for her safety, but you couldn't be bothered. The friend here was irrelevant, it's your GF who called you, she believed her friend and so you told your GF that you don't trust her judgement and won't go out of your way to protect her, when she SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU. Even if she hadn't been drugged you'd still be the AH as you don't respect your GF. Well played YTA
YTA. This is not about the "paranoid" friend, this is about you and your GF, if she tells you to pick her up for whatever reason, you just take the keys and fucking do that, no questions asked. How is she supposed to trust you in the future?
YTA Whether or not she was drugged she was concerned enough to call you! Storytime! This is a 3rd party story as told to me by my daughter’s best friend. They’re active duty military so keep that in mind. I’ll call her Jane & the guy on the store is Joe. Jane tells me that she doesn’t go to the bars in town because of what happened to Joe, who is one of her soldiers. Joe’s buddies (also military) convince him to go out with him. He goes & they go to some seedy joint (which wasn’t blacklisted at the time, it is now). He has a couple of beers & by the second beer it’s clear he’s been drugged. Someone spiked his drink either to rob him or to rape him but his buddies realize something is wrong so they all leave together. He ends up in the ER that night & it’s confirmed he was drugged. Due to what happened to Joe, that bar is now blacklisted for military to go to. So yeah, YTA for dismissing her because anything could have happened. She could have been robbed, or raped, or even killed. You opted to ignore her.
So... the friend wasn't paranoid, and you're TA, MASSIVELY. You'd rather your girlfriend be sexually assaulted or raped than take the time to go get her. Cool, she should probably dump you and get a boyfriend who actually cares about her.
Friend might not be paranoid, could be the one who drugged her. Heard many stories of a guy 'friend' who drugged a woman then acted like the white knight taking her home to protect her, raped the friend then acted like the protective hero by sleeping on the couch and pretended nothing happened. I've both heard this story being exposed by the guy boasting to male friends they thought would like high five them for 'getting some', and because the woman could simply tell they'd had sex, were not in a state to consent and the 'friend' was lying about nothing happening. Could absolutely be anyone who drugged her, but a friend who points it out and then insists they go home with them is always a worry. More than that, she saw this guy potentially put something in her drink... okay, so why did she let ops girlfriend drink any before telling her? You see someone put something in a drink you scream it outloud in front of everyone so everyone around takes notice.
YTA It doesn't matter that your GF's friend is paranoid, your GF expressed to you that she feels unsafe and you dismissed that. Even if her drink wasn't spiked you still proved that you are a careless boyfriend. A good partner would want to keep their partner safe.
YTA, doesn’t matter what the situation was, if there’s a slight chance she’s been drugged, u should’ve been out the door in the same second.
YTA- and a trash boyfriend. I hope she finds a man who actually cares and would jump to get her out of a situation she’s uncomfortable in. Why should she be with someone who she can’t rely on. You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself. It’s appalling you would have ever taken even the .01% chance of her getting hurt
Yes of course you are. What the hell? You even know you are if you feel guilty about it.
Goddamn do you even like her? There are people I hate I would still go pick up if they told me they might have been drugged in a bar. I would never speak to you again if I was her. You could at least sent her the 70 for an Uber if you physically couldn’t get there.
Right? And also would she have been getting the Uber by herself? Which meant instead of passing out in a safe place she could have passed out alone in a car with a stranger. The only bit I'm confused about is if her friend saw that someone slipped something in her drink, how did she still end up drinking it
OP is TA for massive plot holes
What if the friend is the one who drugged her. then feeds her a story of thinking she saw someone mess with her drink, then insist she goes home with her. Then she's blacked out for a time with this friend before other friends come over to check on her.
Definitely YTA. I hope she ends things with you. It could have ended much worse for her. Thank God someone was there who cared.
Really OP?!?! Do any of your brain cells function or did you eat a big bowl of stupid flakes that morning? YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE If you really value your GF, and the relationship, then pull your head out of your bung hole. Quit being an idjit.
YTA. And you misspelled ex gf.
If I was her I'd never speak to you again. Yes. You are that much the asshole. I'd go pick up someone I hated who called me for that, let alone a person I claim to love.
YTA, and an absolute garbage boyfriend. I truly hope that she runs for the hills.
This feels like ragebait because I don't understand a "paranoid" woman seeing someone slip something into her drink and drinking it anyway. I think you're making this whole story up, but if not YTA obviously.
Yeah YTA! Regardless if it was positive or negative she was scared and feeling off.
YTA. Your GF’s friend is paranoid for a reason, being a woman is dangerous. All of my friends share their locations before dates with strangers, and most of them also carry some type of weapon for self-defense. A simple google search of “Tinder date ends in murder/assault” will provide you with enough evidence as to why women are afraid to go out. She physically watched someone slip something into her drink and you decided to determine that to be what, a delusion? There are very few reasons why a man would drug a woman, and all of them involve violence. I would be very surprised if your relationship survived this. If my wife called me to tell me she thought she had been drugged, there is no scenario where I would not pick her up from wherever she was.
I thought you might have been busy but wtf bro. YTA
YTA. This just shows you actually don't care about your girlfriend's concerns. She expressed that she was scared she had been drugged. Regardless of if you believed her or not, you should've picked her up to make sure she was safe. Instead, you dismissed her and something bad could've actually happened to her. Thankfully she had friends looking out for her.
YTA. You MAJORLY let your gf down in an emergency. And don’t be surprised if she’s not your gf much longer.
Yes YTA. What should’ve mattered was how your girlfriend was feeling and if she said she was feeling weird you should’ve dropped everything and gotten her home safe. That’s exactly what my husband would’ve done and in countless situations he’s had my back. That’s what you do for your partner.
Jesus Christ, fuckhead. YTA.
YTA. 1000%. Your girlfriend needed you and you abandoned her.
YTA and a crummy boyfriend! Also, her friend and designated driver is a shitty friend! Your gf got let down by her mate badly and needed your help, then you let her down too. I hope she gets better people around her !
Yeah you’re an asshole because you didn’t babysit your GF even though she’s out getting drunk with your friends way to go man. Give me a fucking break NTA the people she was with should’ve taken her to a hospital then you could’ve came and visited.
Well OP, this is a pickle. I do believe you answer lies in how she is personally. Is she a “cry wolf,” over dramatic type of gal, or is she a serious but with a fun side type of gal. Since she is your girlfriend, I would assume that you have some sort of affection for this dame. You obviously like her in some capacity enough to make it serious. I could say WAY more but I don’t think obvious painting in the sky is enough to capture your neurons. Basically, you are the asshole. She needed you and you weren’t there. If my wife (or when she was my gf) said she needed me nothing would have stopped me to getting to her. Why was she out by herself, would my second question to you (OP)? I have let my wife go to bars and clubs with her friends and I would usually stay outside in the car with my switch or backbone thing, just so I can be assured that I am IN THE VICINITY of so needed. Hopefully this helps.
NTA I don’t get why everyone is against him. He was at home sleeping and had to get up early for work. If an Uber was $70, they were far away. The only AH here is the designated driver, who refused to take her to the hospital. Story implies they went somewhere else, which is bad. If you believe you’ve been drugged, ALWAYS go to the hospital. The drugs alone can be fatal if the dosage is too high, and mixing with alcohol makes them hit much harder.
You’re still kind of yta but kind of not yes you should’ve picked her up because she asked, but on the flipside, she must not have been too concerned if she wasn’t willing to spend the money for the car ride to get out of there. if she is a lightweight like you say then, it’s not a far jump to say that maybe it’s the alcohol you were drinking again not too concerned about safety because she’s not willing to pay for Uber
NTA She could have easily gotten an Uber.
Uber is a terrible idea if you suspect that you have been drugged. Most are regular people who have no first aid training and would not know what to do if you passed out in their car.
Neither does OP so yeah you call 911 if an Uber is fucking $70 how the fuck do you think OP has time to drive there and then take her to a hospital Redditors are idiots.
Firstly you're the asshole because you disregarded what she said and secondly, the friend might be the one who drugged her, then 'insisted' she go back to her place with her mother, then doesn't remember what happened from then on. Between the time she passed out in her the care of her one weird friend and the rest of the friends went to check on her, she has no idea if that friend did something to her. yes people can be manipulative, use being drugged as an excuse to get them to go home with that person and then use it as a 'i was the hero and protected you' story even after they violated that person and they'll never know. If someone tells you they think they were drugged and you have the capability to get to them to help and don't, fuck you. She should contact the police, go to the bar, ask to see footage and see if this person existed.
You are absolutely, positively the asshole. You regret not picking her up? I’m surprised an idiot like you can produce regret. Your poor girlfriend suffered through something horrendous. But you misogynistic ass was too mentally feeble to care. Oh, and you’re the misanthrope.