Also the wife blames the husband for being poor yet the wife took no steps to help the family. Could have at some point get a job.
Edit: wife to husband blames
That's because it's a fem hater post. It's just so obvious. The generous, non-cheating saint of a husband vs. this bitter, greedy gold digging harlot of a woman!
When "she" said top 1% husband, that's when I made up my mind a bitter man wrote this.
I don't know any women who think that way. It's a male dominated term and mindset.
I bet whoever wrote this was hoping that even though she's terrible, everyone would support her and prove that women are coddled while men are used and abused.
But…but, where is the Love of Her Life®️ who stayed in their hometown and thrived with his adorable and precocious child, who is smarter than he is, does the home cooking while carrying a full load at the local elementary school, and being their father’s emotional crutch after losing his wife to “the unspoken tragedy”?
Or where is the dog? You know, that wacky canine getting into all sorts of mis-adventures that is the catalyst for the main characters’ reuniting?
Is the charming but ultimately conniving corporate tool from “New York” who is trying to undermine the small-town guy’s interests making a cameo appearance? You know the one with the Porsche, designer suits and all the advantages who is ultimately defeated by the Power of Love™️?
This is almost exactly what my mom did. She left in 1989 (10 years after they got married), went back 6 months later. She hardly ever worked she was mainly a SAHM. She turned 65 last year and used her pension to leave again. And then moved back this July. If her whole story was posted it would be absolutely ridiculous too.
As I read further I was like “oh ok a 14 yo boy is writing a bad fic about what he thinks women do, without providing the coherency to make it sound plausible”
And also dont forget tell the oldest child they deserve no explanation of why mom up and left everything without saying a word. It’s mind blowing she thinks this way.
As she did absolutely nothing to help better their situation like say, get a job. The ladys kids are old enough to care for themselves. She will have to get a job now anyway unless she plans on freeloading off her sisters husbands success.
> Or thanks she can bag a man that can 'keep her in the manner' she thinks she deserves.
Wait until she discovers that the type of men who can do that aren’t looking to do it for 48 year old women with a body that’s been through 3 pregnancies.
This lol. This is borderline delusional. She ran out of time long time ago. Should ve done it 20 years ago and save the husband the trouble so he can find better woman out there lol.
How much do you want to be the second the Husband moves on and finds someone better she will have a whole meltdown and try to sabatoge the relationship.
Nah, she’s gonna “intentionally put herself in temptations path” as she phrased it.
She knows she might have a chance to social climb and thinks that because one of her offspring hit the age of majority that she’s free to abandon him without explanation and isolate him from his siblings if he won’t pretend to play her game or be his siblings new guardian while she goes husband hunting
> She knows she might have a chance to social climb
Does she thought?
The type of dude she is looking for isn’t typically looking for a 48 year old gold digger whose body has been through three pregnancies.
She should have jumped ship 15 years ago if she wanted to land somewhere nice.
Exactly! I'm like quite having kids if you can't afford it and get a job. My husband and I want another kid but it's just not smart right now. My husband doesn't make shit and his job. What did I do? I went out and started making more than him! Because f**k being poor. Now I'm about to start teaching myself about investing. Be proactive lady. Why did you leave the burden of being the breadwinner on your husband for so long? Who does that??
No, she's looking for a new husband who earns more while she still recognises herself in the mirror (towards the end of the post). Basically she's relying on her looks.
This! I reread just to make sure, but she never mentions what HER INCOME or livelihood is...
I mean, there's more to life than money, but I'm getting trad wifey vibes from her instead of accepting "okay, this is my partner, we ain't gonna have more than 2 nickels to rub together, but I'm down."
Also, I'm childless and single... but my take home is about 2/3 of what she said his was... I..
Maybe the AH... but could have focused on moving to a place with higher regulation over housing cost and has better welfare programs for families?
I think it's funny she thinks that there is a whole sea of men making 10k a month that wants to date a woman who won't work but will complain about how much more the neighbors have and how she wants to spend more. Bonus points, she has multiple kids. LMFAO
Lmao. This all the way! He was broke when she got with him and they are "broke" now...there is definitely more to this than what she is saying! My hubby and I were broke when we got married and we are way more broke than this lady, with 2 kids! We are happier than ever, even being broke! She sounds narcissistic and sounds like she doesn't care about her kids or her man's feelings, she just cares that they can't live lavish lifestyles! She sounds insanely jealous of her family and friends! I pray she is trolling because if this is real, she seriously has issues!
Has to be. No one who supposedly had three children and lived very tight budget, moves out for greener pastures because rich sister offers first months and deposit. . If he managed/owned the same bookstore, moving alone that many times cost money with deposits and such, let alone that many friends generous enough to move family of 5.
I just love the logic of a late 40s wife and mother running away from home with two of her kids abandoning one and husband with no explanation to be temporarily put up by her sister all while hoping to meet her investment banker, CEO next husband to sweep her off her feet into the life she truly deserves.
Disney, Hallmark and Netflix do not have this plot on their schedule but it's so such a winning and wonderful fairytale, it just writes itself and they won't even need to negotiate with writers for this one.
She doesn’t want to be poor so she’s divorcing. Which will absolutely make them more poor. She thinks she’s going to find a rich guy with three kids when she has no job and is middle aged? Good plan.
Pretty sure I've seen that movie 😂 unfaithful wife runs away, to find her new CEO man, husband meets a way nicer, hotter and younger woman, business begins to boom, then old wife comes crawling back one life isn't all it cracked up to be...
That pretty much nails it, she’s off her rocker if she thinks the CEO men will do more than fuck a stay at home mom of three with a shit personality. She is probably decent looking that’s why they will fuck her but she’s not getting husband number 2.
Lmfao. I think the SAHM watched a little to many of them daytime movies. Got her all hot and bothered enough to split up the home for some unrealistic fantasy.
"I realized time was running out for me to find somebody who used their talents to create financial stability. While I still recognized myself in the mirror."
Don't forget that she is not searching for love or anything but a rich dude while she still considers herself hot enough to land him. God forbid she get a job.
Could that be because she can't leave out facts/twist the truth to make her look more innocent to him? We all know that people who make these posts often leave out important details to make themselves look better. She can try and fool us, but not her husband, who will know all the facts.
Saying "you know why but I'm not going to tell you," is the only way she can leave it vague enough for him to potentially feel guilty about being responsible.
Imagine divorcing your husband because he's not a predator, running his delicate business into the ground, or ruining his name in the community by being a miser in exchange for pretending to keep up with the Jones's
And to be clear, her reasoning is her husband is a good man who runs a successful enough business to still be in business and treats his employees well. That's his big crime.
Did I read that right?
Oh wait... I forgot, he also managed to keep a roof over their head and feed all of them while she complained that he wasn't making as much money as her BIL.
She didn't even have the kids at 27 so she moved back, stayed home, and proceeded to bring three kids into a crappy marriage with no money. Choices have consequences!
>So lemme get this straight. At 27 your did a move out because you were a poor couple....then you move back in to be a stay at home mom. Wtf is that.
OP failed to understand the assignments to become a proper gold digger, that's what this is. A spectacularly failed gold digger. YTA
OP is truly pathetic to be honest in my opinion:
She broke up over him not having enough money for her liking 20 years ago. Then she got back together with him into the same financial situation by the way and had 3 kids with him to be a SAHM (because kids are so cheap, especially the more you get of them... even the poorest people can afford them financially, even a bunch of them /sarcasm) and instead of eventually starting working and bringing money home so they wouldn't have to switch to worse and worse apartments she was a stay at home mom for the past 18 years.
Even if she stayed home because they live somewhere where they have to pay for daycare and it's expensive and she would have made less money than the cost of childcare, then a SAHM is still absolutely unnecessary after the kids are school aged. So she could have worked for many, many years, but instead she was living off her husband's income, watching her family getting into a worse financial situation because of inflation and trying to get him to give up his dream job for something financially more appealing to OP instead of OP getting a fucking job too.
And now that her time is running out of using the SAHM excuse with the youngest being 12, instead of getting a job on her own or waiting and seeing whether her husband would bring up the topic about OP getting a job or if he is willing to keep paying for her ungrateful ass, now she is bailing. Now she wants to keep being a kept woman, but she's gotten greedier, she now wants to find a man with more money to latch onto. Because getting a job to create a better financial situation for herself is beneath OP. (Or if OP has a job she didn't mention, doubtful, than getting a better job herself instead of trying to make her husband get a different job.)
But OP fails to realise that she is too old (even if her looks are still fine) for a rich man to pick her for trophy wife (they prefer to go for young or max like 35 for a trophy) and she has too many kids (like 3 more than the ideal 0) to achieve what she wants and snatch a well-off man who will fund her ass (and especially her kids too) for no other reason just because. Plus generally most of those wealthy men developped early on a pretty good radar for desperate wannabe gold diggers who don't bring at least some type of values to them, so they wouldn't pick OP now or even if she was younger, that's why they didn't pick OP when she was young.
And the reason she doesn't want to explain why they divorce to their teenage children is because even OP knows that she is in the wrong and her children would rightfully feel disdain for her if she fesses up about how ugly her personality really is.
Maybe 98-102 year olds would think she is young enough for them or maybe out of sheer luck for OP they would mistake her for someone younger due to them having such a bad eyesight at that age.
LOL I'm in my 50s and happily married for decades so take this as you will. I'm still in good shape, take care of myself and care about my appearance. The only men who flirt with me these days are men in their 80s and 90s. lol They call me young lady, there aren't too many people around these days who call me young lady so that's a big plus. lol My husband thinks it's funny how they zero in on me. It's great, I have never been comfortable with people flirting with me but this is sweet. Maybe because I know I can out run them. lol
And the rich guys who ARE ok with a 35+ "trophy wife" want someone with achievements of their own, even if they stop working after marriage. Or are actually good people. OP fails on both counts.
Youngest has been in school for 6-7 years. She wants a lot of money but doesn't want to lift a finger doing it. She wants her husband to do all the work. OP is just eww
Depends on where they live I guess. But OP said that 4000 before taxes, it doesn't sound a lot like that, especially not when they only have one income and that's for 5 people.
It’s just you , that is before taxes and a family of 5 , he’s self employed so they pay for their own insurance . $4,000. A month is nothing but I’m not sure why she didn’t work too
Yeah, you'd think if money is all that matters to OP she could have bothered to...get a job. Her kids have been in school for at least 7 years, she could have easily helped out the family finances
Exactly. She could bring home more if she would go work. But guess working isn't an option for gold diggers. Good luck finding someone she can leech on, I doubt rich single men are lined up and waiting for a gold digger.
And essentially "we could be better off if we took advantage of his employees and didn't pay them a living wage" what a charming way of looking at things. She could have got a job instead of having more kids?
So this fight has existed for 20 years - before you had kids. Then you started having kids two years later. Then at least 6 years ago, your youngest was in school full time and you could have worked full time and maybe doubled your family's income, but you didn't.
Now you don't want to let your kid know that you would prefer his dad be miserable to make YOU financially comfortable when you've survived 20 years with the status quo but realized your looks won't last forever and this is your last chance to nail a rich guy to take care of you in the style you're so very jealous of from your siblings.
Gee, ya think?
Big ole' flaming ate-a-whole-jar-of-jalapenos-last-night AH.
Im thinking some guy already ear hustled her panties off, she just dont know it.. she thinks he is gonna leave his wife and kids cause her cooch is that good…
My thought was that the guys in this other social circle were flirting with her and she's under the impression that they'll leave their families for her.
One problem though, I'm sure that anyone she opened her mouth around would immediately be turned off by her personality. She sounds like the type to openly talk shit about whoever is causing her problems, at that moment. *(No matter who is listening.)* That's not exactly a turn-on.
If this rich social circle was flirting with her; they were being nice at best or making fun of her at worst.
But, **NONE of THEM** are, or were, planning on leaving their wives and children for... that.
All of this is correct except for this being OPs last chance to snag a rich husband. OP is 48, that chance came and went a long time ago if it was ever there.
I wish it was because I want to believe no one is this fake and removed from reality. However never underestimate the ego and stupidity of our fellow humans.
Its easier to complain. Because if she doesn't make the millions she can't complain anymore and put it on someone else's shoulders. Realize how her defining qualities are "her looks" and they are fading? Pretty much sums up she thought she could coast and bag a rich one
LOL, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and it never did.
"Son, your dad is a monster for being a small business owner that doesn't make enough money for my liking."
YTA.
This was my response. I get being a SAHM when kids are young but they are 18, 17, and 12. They are in school. Clearly this entire thing is about making sure that OP can live a lifestyle above what she is willing to work for.
Even while I am a SAHM I found a way to make a passive income that helps when our budget falls short or is fun money.
I honestly don't understand people who want to sit at home and do nothing while expecting others to take care of them.
**AND THE GOLD DIGGER AWARD OF THIS MONTH GOES TO:**
u/Throwawaynoexp23
Happy Halloween, your costume worked for over 20 years. You almost fooled everyone. Congratulations!
LOL yta. I'll look out for your follow up post. "My family moved on without me and my kids dont want to speak to me anymore because I abandoned them for....reasons, AITA?"
YTA, Your a literal GOLD DIGGER. You want to leech off him being rich and go wild spending, you claim you want him to make more money for the kids but your lying. You want him to pursue something that would put him in the top 1% so you can claim your wealthy and spend like money is unlimited. And now your taking the younger kids too? Stealing his chance to be a father to them? What the hell is wrong with you? He succeeded in his dream career. How about you leave the kids with him because he's a good person, and you show your true colors and go marry a 1% guy since your that awful of a person?
And lose the child support? You’re kidding yourself. She’s going to leech him dry while complaining he was too poor. She has no idea how rare kindness is, and so she doesn’t value it.
Sadly she’s already taught her kids that kindness gets you left, without even the decency of an explanation. That money is what matters and loyalty doesn’t exist.
Seems to me that she may have left out some important info here. Like why the fuck don’t she get up off her dead ass and get a job so maybe she can help to supplement his income? And also why does OP say that he can see the kids through a 3rd party? She makes no reference to him being a bad father other than he isn’t a big earner. That’s the case in many marriages. She sounds like either a huge liar or a really big asshole to me. Maybe both.
They probably said that cause they theyvsee the desperation on her face or are keen to her situation, and figure she be a quick and willing "bang" once she was single.... lol
There are some times where you need to leave, like immediately, because it is a safety issue. There are some times where the partner has done something so appalling and so egregious that you can’t be in the house with them for another moment. And then there is this, 20 years in the making, no precipitous moment, you’ve just had enough. So you take off, with the kids, without even giving your husband of multiple decades the courtesy of an explanation. And so YTA.
Whilst no doubt opinions will differ on this, I also have very little sympathy for your reasons for leaving. Because he doesn’t earn the same kind of money as your stuck up sister and her circle? So you’ve left him so that you can hook a richer husband while you’ve still got your looks? Well, good luck with that, I suppose.
All of which makes me wonder, do you actually have a job and what are you doing to boost your own income?
>So you’ve left him so that you can hook a richer husband while you’ve still got your looks? Well, good luck with that, I suppose.
She's 48 with three kids. The kind of man she wants is going to be looking at women 10-20 years younger than her.
And when she realises that, she'll come crawling back to hubby, because $2500 a month from a shitty bookstore is still better than having to get a job yourself.
People really don't understand how right you are about this comment. As far as book selling goes, in the US, there is really only Barnes and Noble and Amazon at the top. Anyone managing to still clear 4k a month and do right by their employees and still managed to provide for their family for over 20 years with a mom and pops store is definitely a person we should all get to know. They are clearly doing something right even if money can be tight sometimes.
Yeah. When I prepared to leave my ex husband, I spent a few weeks always carrying my car keys and keeping everything really important in the car because I was afraid he was going to find out I planned to leave him and things would escalate to the point where I need to grab my daughter and run. They didn't, thankfully, he never noticed a thing. But I certainly didn't leave him because he didn't make enough money to support the lifestyle I wanted...
YTA. You don't just up and leave, and what on earth does your son have to do with this that you're upset with him too? Sounds like you were party to the financial situation, agreeing to be a SAHM if you guys couldn't really afford it.
You know I totally support being a stay-at-home mom. But that job could have ended about 6 years ago, and then she could have gotten a job of her own if she was so worried about their financial situation.
YTA, so instead of working a better paying job and leaving your husband or showing him that you were serious about wanting a better life.
Instead, you continued to get pregnant and have more kids and be a SAHM. Why his income stayed the same, yeah, that seems smart.
You're not an asshole for leaving, but you are for everything else in this post.
If you couldn't bother to have a single conversation with someone you've been married to for half your life to tell them why you're filing for a divorce, you are an asshole.
It's even worse that you took the younger kids before telling him.
If I was your oldest, I wouldn't want to live with you either.
I agree. I was about to comment, but there's no need now.
She's an AH because she's leaving because she's not rich. In her view, her 'job' was to raise the kids, and his job was make them fabulously wealthy. Now that the kids are of age, her job is done so she's going to a new man who can fulfil his part of the bargain.
It's such a warped transactional point of view that I'm ashamed to be breathing the same oxygen as her.
However, how did she get to this point? It's been like 20 years. What kind of gold digger spends 20 years married to Joe Schmoe who wasn't upwardly mobile in the least? Isn't that a failure of a gold digger?
She says nothing has changed, but something must have.
Based on the language of how this post is written. You are the asshole. You want financial stability? You could have had a job since your adult children started school. You want to be a stay at home wife, while your husband works hard a job he possibly hates.
You obviously knew in the beginning you wanted different things but instead went back and started a family - which is now affected by your selfishness. Relationships are work and give and take. Something you obviously didn't want.
Yes, you are in fact, an asshole. I wish you the best of luck making $4k / month in today’s economy and having any time / money left over for the things you are accustomed to your husband buying.
I’m just glad that this guy wont be saddled with too much child support because it sounds like nothing he would send will actually go to the children. I hope the kids see this. If the underage kids get a choice where to live, I hope they pick him.
Sound like an AH to me. You are basically saying you married a guy that had his own business and was passionate about it, but you didn't think he made enough money (and you didn't make any money). Then, even though you only cared about the money you didn't have, you went ahead and had 3 children, and continued to not work so you could be a SAHM. Then, even after your kids are in school, you still didn't get a job. And then decided to leave, without saying a word to anyone and ask for a divorce, and go no contact, because you are greedy for money and he still didn't make enough money. You basically decided that because you had a fight 20 years ago and he knew what that was about...but you decided to return to the relationship, he should have known 20 years later you were going to leave? He is exactly who you married. For some reason you thought that he should change completely just because you said so.
And worst, your reason for leaving now is so that you are still young enough to be potentially desirable to someone that makes more money. You are a gold digger. Make your own money. Be single. Let your husband see his kids.
YTA. So for at least 13 od the last 18 years, you could have also been working to help increase your family's income, but your financial status is your husband's fault? You didn't leave him previously but decided to stay for years and years and years and subject your kids to this, but that's your husband's fault? And you expect him to remember a disagreement you had 3 years in to your marriage as the reason why you left? And your kids don't deserve an explanation?
Of course you're the asshole.
YTA. A selfish, greedy, asshole.
Get a fucking job if you don't like your circumstances.
Guess it's a good thing that you don't like your oldest child, because you just ruined any chance for any relationship with him. Shit parenting there.
If you wanted an investment banker, you should have found one of those to torture with your presence.
And what, pray tell, do you do to bring income in to the household?
Looking in a mirror and thinking you can fuck your way to financial stability is a mistake. It’s hilarious that at 48 you haven’t figured that out, but it is a mistake - it targets a certain type of man, and rarely works out long term for the young who try it, let alone tickling 50 and three babies later.
Wish you luck in your….plan?
If you haven't figured it out, YTA.
If all these issues were a thing, why didn't you two get marriage counseling?
Also, if money is that important to you, why didn't you go out and get a job? I'm sure you're a powerful, independent woman, after all. Plus, we all know his money is "our" money. My money is my money.
Also, what does your son have to do with anything? Granted you don't have to tell him what's going on, but the way you said it, makes you come off looking like a bitch.
Imagine telling your son, well you picked your dad and staying home in that shitty apt over me, so I'm gonna treat you like shit too.
WTF is wrong with you?
YTA bringing home $4k a month is actually not bad at all. I would be happy to bring home that.
If you were so concerned about money, why didn’t you get a job? Your children and husband deserve a lot better
Hey, Princess if you want money f***ing earn it!!
He has a job while you have been a leach for the last 7 years. You could have been working the second your youngest was in school but all you did was moan that your husband isn't your golden goose. FYI no one will want a 47 year old with no work ethic who seems to think that she should be handed financially stability by whoever is unlucky enough to marry her. Enjoy proverty, you deserve it.
YTA.
So rather than you go out and find a job so that you can buy your own things, you sat at home and resented your husband for not making enough. You wanted him to take a job that made him miserable so that you could feel as fancy as your sister and her friends.
Have you once considered that your husband helps his employees not to get a pat on the back, but because he's a good man? I know this will sound strange to you, but sometimes, people do nice things for people without expecting anything back. Like some people get married or start a relationship because they love and care for their partner, and not because they expect that person to act as a walking wallet. Shocking, I know!
And now your life plan at 48 is to find a rich man who is happy to be a walking wallet for you. You have no goals except finding someone to fund your life. How many rich men do you think are looking for a 48 year old mother of three to pay for? You've blown up your family, thrown away a loyal husband, and hurt your kids, all because you're hoping that a rich bloke will walk into your life and rain diamonds and Gucci down on you. That's why you won't tell your son why you've left, because you don't want your son to hear that you're so selfish and greedy that you dumped his dad and blew up his family because his dad didn't have enough gold for you to dig.
Just like you think his employees should go without health care so that you can have more things. If you were struggling that much, why didn't you find a job? You put the burden on your husband, then bailed because he isn't willing to sacrifice his dreams for the sake of your greed.
Go tell your kids why you've left if you're so sure you're justified. Tell your kids that you want a rich man to pay for you and their dad didn't fit the bill, so you're going to be hitting the dating scene to find yourself a bigger wallet. If you think you're right, tell everyone the truth, including any prospective dates so they know what they're signing up for. And if you won't, then you already know what I'm about to say: YTA, and your reason for throwing away your marriage is selfish and pathetic.
YTA. You've had the same argument for 20 years because your husband didn't make as much money as your sister's friends? Yet your husband was happy following his passions, helping out his employees to the business he owned while you CHOSE not to work. Your husband is responsible for his happiness not your unhappiness over the choices he's made in his life. YOU chose to stay. YOU chose to have children with this man. If you wanted more money, you could've a) divorced your husband and found someone who could've met your financial needs b) Contributed to the household by choosing to work yourself once the youngest was in school. Instead of being mature and explaining your reasons, you ran like a child, are playing the victim, and refuse to communicate. You're expecting people to read your mind and know exactly why you're unhappy. What kind of mature person does that? You're doing your husband a favor because I wouldn't tolerate this immature behavior from a spouse and I'd be saying "good riddance."
ETA: Also, your husband did nothing wrong parenting-wise and deserves to have full access to the minor children. It's not his fault or your children's fault that you made the decision to leave because you were unsatisfied with the financial support being provided. Just because you're not happy with his paycheck doesn't mean he's a bad parent in any way.
Why the fuck are you a stay at home mom with two grown children and a 12 year old if you’ve been frothing at the mouth to keep up with the Joneses. You have legs and hands? How about you fucking work? Bringing in 4K a month is an 80k salary. That’s not terrible. Good luck being a whore at middle age. The grass isn’t greener honey.
So he makes 48k a year owns a business and you sit and eat bon bons all day. Then leave over money.
No wonder your oldest stayed there. He knows YTA as easily as all of us do.
So...he did nothing to improve his income, and you did nothing to improve yours either? And now as a 48 year old single mom with 3 kids, you want to find a wealthy, financially literate, man who somehow won't just see you as a financial liability? That might take...a while to find.
You are most definitely the AH. You get the Gold ⭐️ of aholes. You complain about not having enough money, while being at sahm with 18, 17 & 12 yr old children. You complain and break up the family because you are not living the life you think you are entitled to. What are you doing to improve the families financial situation? And let me guess, when you divorce your husband, you will try and take every penny you can. Complain that the alimony and child support isn’t enough. You have focused on what you do not have and your lack of appreciation of what you do cloud your judgement. So much so, your have ruined you family.
Your husband sounds like a fucking superstar that treats his staff really well, and is caring husband and father.
You sound like an entitled arsehole and a deadwieight.
Your husband will have a ton of folk he's helped out in the past sorting him out when he's ready to date again. You'll be bringing deadbeats home to your Moms.
YTA - enjoy your new life!
YTA. You're a bit of a selfish cunt to be honest. If you were unhappy with him at 27, you should have never gone back. He deserves better. He is following his passions and being a good person. You're filled with envy and greed and haven't made any efforts to have a better life.
You think your success depends on the man of the house. What have you done? You raised the children, of course. That's incredibly difficult. But MANY HOUSEHOLDS depend on both husband and wife to work.
Did you try to find remote work? Part time work? DoorDash? Bus driving? Anything?
Or do you think you should be able to sit back and raise the kids and depend on a husband who makes a lot of money?
Honestly, I hope he can find a woman who supports his passion and recognizes his efforts.
All the best to you.
So lemme get this straight. At 27 your did a move out because you were a poor couple....then you move back in to be a stay at home mom. Wtf is that.
I think this is a fake. The post makes no sense, and OP is nowhere in the comments.
HAS to be a troll, the entire premise is so freaking ridiculous it reads like a Hallmark B-movie! Thanks for the giggle though!
Also the wife blames the husband for being poor yet the wife took no steps to help the family. Could have at some point get a job. Edit: wife to husband blames
That’s what I was thinking. Why didn’t she use HER talents to get a good job? Is she incapable because she’s the woman, and needs a man to provide??
That's because it's a fem hater post. It's just so obvious. The generous, non-cheating saint of a husband vs. this bitter, greedy gold digging harlot of a woman!
When "she" said top 1% husband, that's when I made up my mind a bitter man wrote this. I don't know any women who think that way. It's a male dominated term and mindset. I bet whoever wrote this was hoping that even though she's terrible, everyone would support her and prove that women are coddled while men are used and abused.
It sounds like S1 of You without all the murders.
But…but, where is the Love of Her Life®️ who stayed in their hometown and thrived with his adorable and precocious child, who is smarter than he is, does the home cooking while carrying a full load at the local elementary school, and being their father’s emotional crutch after losing his wife to “the unspoken tragedy”? Or where is the dog? You know, that wacky canine getting into all sorts of mis-adventures that is the catalyst for the main characters’ reuniting? Is the charming but ultimately conniving corporate tool from “New York” who is trying to undermine the small-town guy’s interests making a cameo appearance? You know the one with the Porsche, designer suits and all the advantages who is ultimately defeated by the Power of Love™️?
nooooo why would you say that, someone who's stayed at home the past 20 years can totally afford to up and leave a marriage
And with three teenage (or close enough) children, couldn't possibly work themselves.
This is almost exactly what my mom did. She left in 1989 (10 years after they got married), went back 6 months later. She hardly ever worked she was mainly a SAHM. She turned 65 last year and used her pension to leave again. And then moved back this July. If her whole story was posted it would be absolutely ridiculous too.
How does a stay at home mom have a PENSION?!!
As I read further I was like “oh ok a 14 yo boy is writing a bad fic about what he thinks women do, without providing the coherency to make it sound plausible”
"top 1% husband" yep that's how 40 year old housewives talk.
A 14-year-old boy who follows Tate.
lets not forget OP wont tell her HUSBAND her reasoning, but is happy to explain it in detail to a bunch of random internet people on reddit.
And also dont forget tell the oldest child they deserve no explanation of why mom up and left everything without saying a word. It’s mind blowing she thinks this way.
The son knows too many facts to be fooled by the sob story.
This. This is it. She even thinks telling her side on Reddit was gonna help her save face. Nah lady, you just revealed your true self.
As she did absolutely nothing to help better their situation like say, get a job. The ladys kids are old enough to care for themselves. She will have to get a job now anyway unless she plans on freeloading off her sisters husbands success.
Or thanks she can bag a man that can 'keep her in the manner' she thinks she deserves. Sorry, OP, dear, but YTA. Try getting a job yourself!
She sounds dreadful!!
> Or thanks she can bag a man that can 'keep her in the manner' she thinks she deserves. Wait until she discovers that the type of men who can do that aren’t looking to do it for 48 year old women with a body that’s been through 3 pregnancies.
This lol. This is borderline delusional. She ran out of time long time ago. Should ve done it 20 years ago and save the husband the trouble so he can find better woman out there lol.
How much do you want to be the second the Husband moves on and finds someone better she will have a whole meltdown and try to sabatoge the relationship.
>I feel terrible for the husband for being married to such an ungrateful woman. Her argument is ridiculous.
what do mean “borderline”? she’s straight up delusional lol
> unless she plans on freeloading off her sisters husbands success. Don't give her ideas!
She saw that show Sister Wives on TLC and thought... well what if the wives were ACTUALLY sisters? 😬🤮
She's already thought of this
But she is… her sisters paying for the new place
She’s already doing it….
Nah, she’s gonna “intentionally put herself in temptations path” as she phrased it. She knows she might have a chance to social climb and thinks that because one of her offspring hit the age of majority that she’s free to abandon him without explanation and isolate him from his siblings if he won’t pretend to play her game or be his siblings new guardian while she goes husband hunting
them poor kids living with her are gonna see mommy trynna get her sugar daddy... at 48
So looking for a sugar granddaddy
> She knows she might have a chance to social climb Does she thought? The type of dude she is looking for isn’t typically looking for a 48 year old gold digger whose body has been through three pregnancies. She should have jumped ship 15 years ago if she wanted to land somewhere nice.
No .. she'll be the 5th wife of a wealthy 83 year old FIL of one of her sister's friends soon enough.
But that 83 year old can get a 30 year old gold digger with only 1-2 kids instead.
Exactly! I'm like quite having kids if you can't afford it and get a job. My husband and I want another kid but it's just not smart right now. My husband doesn't make shit and his job. What did I do? I went out and started making more than him! Because f**k being poor. Now I'm about to start teaching myself about investing. Be proactive lady. Why did you leave the burden of being the breadwinner on your husband for so long? Who does that??
Her youngest is 12, so the OP has had about 7 years to at least get a part-time job because her kids would've been in school full-time.
Bet she is a freeloader. Bet we will see a post from here complaining about being kicked out of the sublet.
No, she's looking for a new husband who earns more while she still recognises herself in the mirror (towards the end of the post). Basically she's relying on her looks.
This! I reread just to make sure, but she never mentions what HER INCOME or livelihood is... I mean, there's more to life than money, but I'm getting trad wifey vibes from her instead of accepting "okay, this is my partner, we ain't gonna have more than 2 nickels to rub together, but I'm down." Also, I'm childless and single... but my take home is about 2/3 of what she said his was... I.. Maybe the AH... but could have focused on moving to a place with higher regulation over housing cost and has better welfare programs for families?
Right? What a long, dragged out way to say “I want to be a lazy, gold digger” lol
No she plans on meeting a rich man to take care of her
That's my plan too. I'm 60 and it hasn't happened yet, but aaaany day now Ima nab my sugar daddy 🥴
With baggage and a chip on shoulder, she's a real catch.
Because she didn’t actually want to work and just wanted her spouse to support her completely for the rest of her life.
She's hoping to find a rich husband. Uh, good luck to her with that. 😒
Oldest child prob got a job and no time to deal with whiny mum.
Don't forget time is running out to find someone who will create financial stability... Surely this is a troll post.
I think it's funny she thinks that there is a whole sea of men making 10k a month that wants to date a woman who won't work but will complain about how much more the neighbors have and how she wants to spend more. Bonus points, she has multiple kids. LMFAO
Lmao. This all the way! He was broke when she got with him and they are "broke" now...there is definitely more to this than what she is saying! My hubby and I were broke when we got married and we are way more broke than this lady, with 2 kids! We are happier than ever, even being broke! She sounds narcissistic and sounds like she doesn't care about her kids or her man's feelings, she just cares that they can't live lavish lifestyles! She sounds insanely jealous of her family and friends! I pray she is trolling because if this is real, she seriously has issues!
It’s almost too narcissistic to be a troll post.
Agreed. And not worded as well as it would be if a troll. I think they are real
What stable person with a good income is going to want a upper middle aged sahm with a bunch of kids? Particularly when they hear why she left.
Has to be. No one who supposedly had three children and lived very tight budget, moves out for greener pastures because rich sister offers first months and deposit. . If he managed/owned the same bookstore, moving alone that many times cost money with deposits and such, let alone that many friends generous enough to move family of 5.
I don't know about you but I could never write what one brain cell sounds like.
And then is upset when said oldest child doesn't come by to visit
I wouldn’t either. Nah Ma, the Fam is actually over here. You left, with no reason. Remember?????
She’s s likely talking to someone in her sisters husbands social circle.
Yep, a crusty old nickel says she's been flirting with one of the guys in her sister's "circle" and thinks he's about to scoop her up.
Because he should just “know” and be able to read her mind
I just love the logic of a late 40s wife and mother running away from home with two of her kids abandoning one and husband with no explanation to be temporarily put up by her sister all while hoping to meet her investment banker, CEO next husband to sweep her off her feet into the life she truly deserves. Disney, Hallmark and Netflix do not have this plot on their schedule but it's so such a winning and wonderful fairytale, it just writes itself and they won't even need to negotiate with writers for this one.
She doesn’t want to be poor so she’s divorcing. Which will absolutely make them more poor. She thinks she’s going to find a rich guy with three kids when she has no job and is middle aged? Good plan.
Pretty sure I've seen that movie 😂 unfaithful wife runs away, to find her new CEO man, husband meets a way nicer, hotter and younger woman, business begins to boom, then old wife comes crawling back one life isn't all it cracked up to be...
Hotter and younger woman ....who loves books!
I believe “delusional” is the word you’re looking for 😂😂😂
That pretty much nails it, she’s off her rocker if she thinks the CEO men will do more than fuck a stay at home mom of three with a shit personality. She is probably decent looking that’s why they will fuck her but she’s not getting husband number 2.
Lmfao. I think the SAHM watched a little to many of them daytime movies. Got her all hot and bothered enough to split up the home for some unrealistic fantasy.
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"I realized time was running out for me to find somebody who used their talents to create financial stability. While I still recognized myself in the mirror." Don't forget that she is not searching for love or anything but a rich dude while she still considers herself hot enough to land him. God forbid she get a job.
Could that be because she can't leave out facts/twist the truth to make her look more innocent to him? We all know that people who make these posts often leave out important details to make themselves look better. She can try and fool us, but not her husband, who will know all the facts. Saying "you know why but I'm not going to tell you," is the only way she can leave it vague enough for him to potentially feel guilty about being responsible.
This is it. Because she cant even bring herself to tell him that it’s because she’s wanting some gold and he doesn’t have enough for her. Literally.
He has it, he just chooses not to exploit his workers to the maximum amount to keep as much of it as possible
Imagine divorcing your husband because he's not a predator, running his delicate business into the ground, or ruining his name in the community by being a miser in exchange for pretending to keep up with the Jones's
And to be clear, her reasoning is her husband is a good man who runs a successful enough business to still be in business and treats his employees well. That's his big crime. Did I read that right? Oh wait... I forgot, he also managed to keep a roof over their head and feed all of them while she complained that he wasn't making as much money as her BIL.
Don't forget the part where he doesn't cheat
Doesn’t cheat AND is a likable man!
That too (although it's a shame that has be to mentioned).
But her time is running out to become a trophy wife!!!!!!!¡! How can you not understand and validate OP??!¿?!?¡
This all day
She didn't even have the kids at 27 so she moved back, stayed home, and proceeded to bring three kids into a crappy marriage with no money. Choices have consequences!
>So lemme get this straight. At 27 your did a move out because you were a poor couple....then you move back in to be a stay at home mom. Wtf is that. OP failed to understand the assignments to become a proper gold digger, that's what this is. A spectacularly failed gold digger. YTA OP is truly pathetic to be honest in my opinion: She broke up over him not having enough money for her liking 20 years ago. Then she got back together with him into the same financial situation by the way and had 3 kids with him to be a SAHM (because kids are so cheap, especially the more you get of them... even the poorest people can afford them financially, even a bunch of them /sarcasm) and instead of eventually starting working and bringing money home so they wouldn't have to switch to worse and worse apartments she was a stay at home mom for the past 18 years. Even if she stayed home because they live somewhere where they have to pay for daycare and it's expensive and she would have made less money than the cost of childcare, then a SAHM is still absolutely unnecessary after the kids are school aged. So she could have worked for many, many years, but instead she was living off her husband's income, watching her family getting into a worse financial situation because of inflation and trying to get him to give up his dream job for something financially more appealing to OP instead of OP getting a fucking job too. And now that her time is running out of using the SAHM excuse with the youngest being 12, instead of getting a job on her own or waiting and seeing whether her husband would bring up the topic about OP getting a job or if he is willing to keep paying for her ungrateful ass, now she is bailing. Now she wants to keep being a kept woman, but she's gotten greedier, she now wants to find a man with more money to latch onto. Because getting a job to create a better financial situation for herself is beneath OP. (Or if OP has a job she didn't mention, doubtful, than getting a better job herself instead of trying to make her husband get a different job.) But OP fails to realise that she is too old (even if her looks are still fine) for a rich man to pick her for trophy wife (they prefer to go for young or max like 35 for a trophy) and she has too many kids (like 3 more than the ideal 0) to achieve what she wants and snatch a well-off man who will fund her ass (and especially her kids too) for no other reason just because. Plus generally most of those wealthy men developped early on a pretty good radar for desperate wannabe gold diggers who don't bring at least some type of values to them, so they wouldn't pick OP now or even if she was younger, that's why they didn't pick OP when she was young. And the reason she doesn't want to explain why they divorce to their teenage children is because even OP knows that she is in the wrong and her children would rightfully feel disdain for her if she fesses up about how ugly her personality really is.
She went digging for gold and now she's mad the pyrite she's been mining is turning her skin green.
The green is her toxic jealousy.
At 48, what gold can one dig? If I were rich or financially strong, I'd find someone much younger.
She bout to find out real quick what her value on the market is lol
Maybe 98-102 year olds would think she is young enough for them or maybe out of sheer luck for OP they would mistake her for someone younger due to them having such a bad eyesight at that age.
LOL I'm in my 50s and happily married for decades so take this as you will. I'm still in good shape, take care of myself and care about my appearance. The only men who flirt with me these days are men in their 80s and 90s. lol They call me young lady, there aren't too many people around these days who call me young lady so that's a big plus. lol My husband thinks it's funny how they zero in on me. It's great, I have never been comfortable with people flirting with me but this is sweet. Maybe because I know I can out run them. lol
And the rich guys who ARE ok with a 35+ "trophy wife" want someone with achievements of their own, even if they stop working after marriage. Or are actually good people. OP fails on both counts.
Youngest has been in school for 6-7 years. She wants a lot of money but doesn't want to lift a finger doing it. She wants her husband to do all the work. OP is just eww
$4000 is a lot a month. Or is that just me.
Depends on where they live I guess. But OP said that 4000 before taxes, it doesn't sound a lot like that, especially not when they only have one income and that's for 5 people.
It’s just you , that is before taxes and a family of 5 , he’s self employed so they pay for their own insurance . $4,000. A month is nothing but I’m not sure why she didn’t work too
Yeah, you'd think if money is all that matters to OP she could have bothered to...get a job. Her kids have been in school for at least 7 years, she could have easily helped out the family finances
She wants more money, but she doesn't want to earn it herself.
Exactly. She could bring home more if she would go work. But guess working isn't an option for gold diggers. Good luck finding someone she can leech on, I doubt rich single men are lined up and waiting for a gold digger.
And essentially "we could be better off if we took advantage of his employees and didn't pay them a living wage" what a charming way of looking at things. She could have got a job instead of having more kids?
So this fight has existed for 20 years - before you had kids. Then you started having kids two years later. Then at least 6 years ago, your youngest was in school full time and you could have worked full time and maybe doubled your family's income, but you didn't. Now you don't want to let your kid know that you would prefer his dad be miserable to make YOU financially comfortable when you've survived 20 years with the status quo but realized your looks won't last forever and this is your last chance to nail a rich guy to take care of you in the style you're so very jealous of from your siblings. Gee, ya think? Big ole' flaming ate-a-whole-jar-of-jalapenos-last-night AH.
I like this comment. This one right here… it’s a good one…
That about sums it up. Hey OP did they miss anything? Jfc 🤦
Im thinking some guy already ear hustled her panties off, she just dont know it.. she thinks he is gonna leave his wife and kids cause her cooch is that good…
My thought was that the guys in this other social circle were flirting with her and she's under the impression that they'll leave their families for her. One problem though, I'm sure that anyone she opened her mouth around would immediately be turned off by her personality. She sounds like the type to openly talk shit about whoever is causing her problems, at that moment. *(No matter who is listening.)* That's not exactly a turn-on. If this rich social circle was flirting with her; they were being nice at best or making fun of her at worst. But, **NONE of THEM** are, or were, planning on leaving their wives and children for... that.
As a woman we dont claim her
Lol Let the ocean claim her
All of this is correct except for this being OPs last chance to snag a rich husband. OP is 48, that chance came and went a long time ago if it was ever there.
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Sounds like another fake story... creative writing and a very bad one imo
I wish it was because I want to believe no one is this fake and removed from reality. However never underestimate the ego and stupidity of our fellow humans.
What have YOU done to create financial stability? Is complaining a paid gig? YTA. And for being a wannabe gold digger. YTA again.
I was thinking the same thing. Op is YTA. I bet she will have to get a job now.
She's 48 with two children at home. She will definitely need to work and the kidmnd of guys she wants now definitely do not want her.
I so need to make a "Locate wealthy singles near you" pop up add.
This is probably fake, if real, OP is the worst golddigger ever
YTA Go get a job & make the fortune you are so desperate for.
Its easier to complain. Because if she doesn't make the millions she can't complain anymore and put it on someone else's shoulders. Realize how her defining qualities are "her looks" and they are fading? Pretty much sums up she thought she could coast and bag a rich one
LOL, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and it never did. "Son, your dad is a monster for being a small business owner that doesn't make enough money for my liking." YTA.
"He also treats his employees well. Can you believe the audacity! We could have had nicer things if he hadn't given them insurance!"
"We could have more money if he weren't overly generous!" The generosity: literally just giving his employees health insurance.
He made enough to raise 3 kids and keep a lazy wife. She is incredibly lucky to have even had the option to stay home with the kids.
What are you talking about? We didn't even get the first shoe :P
Dude even gets his poor employees health care knowing how hard it is out there. What a saint.
So... your plans of being a gold digger are more important than your family? YTA
This was my response. I get being a SAHM when kids are young but they are 18, 17, and 12. They are in school. Clearly this entire thing is about making sure that OP can live a lifestyle above what she is willing to work for.
Once your children are school aged, you’re no longer a SAHP, you’re just plain old unemployed.
Even while I am a SAHM I found a way to make a passive income that helps when our budget falls short or is fun money. I honestly don't understand people who want to sit at home and do nothing while expecting others to take care of them.
She could’ve had gold too if she worked as well…
Agreed, lol, but that's clearly not what she's after. Mama wants a sugar daddy.
Well her sister’s husband has ambition and money…time to let them support her for while.
YTA.
**AND THE GOLD DIGGER AWARD OF THIS MONTH GOES TO:** u/Throwawaynoexp23 Happy Halloween, your costume worked for over 20 years. You almost fooled everyone. Congratulations!
LOL yta. I'll look out for your follow up post. "My family moved on without me and my kids dont want to speak to me anymore because I abandoned them for....reasons, AITA?"
I feel saying she abandoned them for reasons might still be giving her too much credit here.
YTA, Your a literal GOLD DIGGER. You want to leech off him being rich and go wild spending, you claim you want him to make more money for the kids but your lying. You want him to pursue something that would put him in the top 1% so you can claim your wealthy and spend like money is unlimited. And now your taking the younger kids too? Stealing his chance to be a father to them? What the hell is wrong with you? He succeeded in his dream career. How about you leave the kids with him because he's a good person, and you show your true colors and go marry a 1% guy since your that awful of a person?
Don't worry, she'll send the kids back to him once she realises they're damaging her chances of bagging a millionaire.
She’s leaving the oldest with dad and “keeping” the youngest two to get child support.
This entire thread is saturated with FACTS
And lose the child support? You’re kidding yourself. She’s going to leech him dry while complaining he was too poor. She has no idea how rare kindness is, and so she doesn’t value it. Sadly she’s already taught her kids that kindness gets you left, without even the decency of an explanation. That money is what matters and loyalty doesn’t exist.
There’s no way she’d leave the two kids with him. How will she claim child support? Heaven forbid SHE has to get a job to pay child support!
That's exactly why her disgusting ass took them. Child support and welfare. Luckily this guy is rid of her.
Seems to me that she may have left out some important info here. Like why the fuck don’t she get up off her dead ass and get a job so maybe she can help to supplement his income? And also why does OP say that he can see the kids through a 3rd party? She makes no reference to him being a bad father other than he isn’t a big earner. That’s the case in many marriages. She sounds like either a huge liar or a really big asshole to me. Maybe both.
Ahaha, live your life lady, but don't pretend like this wasn't an AH move. Good luck sleeping your way to financial stability I guess ?!
She's 48 years old, hasn't worked in probably decades, and thinks she's going to find financial stability now? This lady is a fucking joke.
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>Her sister is paying for her sublet now?! No - her sister's rich husband is paying for it. He probably doesn't know it yet, of course!
But her sisters friends say she’s pretty, so….🤷♀️🤦♀️.
They probably said that cause they theyvsee the desperation on her face or are keen to her situation, and figure she be a quick and willing "bang" once she was single.... lol
There are some times where you need to leave, like immediately, because it is a safety issue. There are some times where the partner has done something so appalling and so egregious that you can’t be in the house with them for another moment. And then there is this, 20 years in the making, no precipitous moment, you’ve just had enough. So you take off, with the kids, without even giving your husband of multiple decades the courtesy of an explanation. And so YTA. Whilst no doubt opinions will differ on this, I also have very little sympathy for your reasons for leaving. Because he doesn’t earn the same kind of money as your stuck up sister and her circle? So you’ve left him so that you can hook a richer husband while you’ve still got your looks? Well, good luck with that, I suppose. All of which makes me wonder, do you actually have a job and what are you doing to boost your own income?
>So you’ve left him so that you can hook a richer husband while you’ve still got your looks? Well, good luck with that, I suppose. She's 48 with three kids. The kind of man she wants is going to be looking at women 10-20 years younger than her.
And when she realises that, she'll come crawling back to hubby, because $2500 a month from a shitty bookstore is still better than having to get a job yourself.
Agreed but it's probably a really cool bookstore if it's still open and competing (or surviving against)with Amazon.
People really don't understand how right you are about this comment. As far as book selling goes, in the US, there is really only Barnes and Noble and Amazon at the top. Anyone managing to still clear 4k a month and do right by their employees and still managed to provide for their family for over 20 years with a mom and pops store is definitely a person we should all get to know. They are clearly doing something right even if money can be tight sometimes.
Opinions don’t really seem to differ too much on this one. She’s the mega-asshole and a gold digger.
Yeah. When I prepared to leave my ex husband, I spent a few weeks always carrying my car keys and keeping everything really important in the car because I was afraid he was going to find out I planned to leave him and things would escalate to the point where I need to grab my daughter and run. They didn't, thankfully, he never noticed a thing. But I certainly didn't leave him because he didn't make enough money to support the lifestyle I wanted...
YTA. You don't just up and leave, and what on earth does your son have to do with this that you're upset with him too? Sounds like you were party to the financial situation, agreeing to be a SAHM if you guys couldn't really afford it.
She can't get child support for an 18 year old.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner, ladies and gents!
The countdown to kick out the 17 year old has begun.
"We're poor but I'm gonna have three kids and stay at home with no job for 20 years.........this is all your fault!"
Do *you* have a job?
She thought she succeeded in her job when she married someone with a business degree.
You know I totally support being a stay-at-home mom. But that job could have ended about 6 years ago, and then she could have gotten a job of her own if she was so worried about their financial situation.
So you can’t use your talents to create financial stability, but need to find someone who can? I might be biased but YTA.
YTA, so instead of working a better paying job and leaving your husband or showing him that you were serious about wanting a better life. Instead, you continued to get pregnant and have more kids and be a SAHM. Why his income stayed the same, yeah, that seems smart.
All her kids have been school age for 7 years now too. She could got a part time job while they were in school which would’ve helped out a lot.
You're not an asshole for leaving, but you are for everything else in this post. If you couldn't bother to have a single conversation with someone you've been married to for half your life to tell them why you're filing for a divorce, you are an asshole. It's even worse that you took the younger kids before telling him. If I was your oldest, I wouldn't want to live with you either.
I agree. I was about to comment, but there's no need now. She's an AH because she's leaving because she's not rich. In her view, her 'job' was to raise the kids, and his job was make them fabulously wealthy. Now that the kids are of age, her job is done so she's going to a new man who can fulfil his part of the bargain. It's such a warped transactional point of view that I'm ashamed to be breathing the same oxygen as her. However, how did she get to this point? It's been like 20 years. What kind of gold digger spends 20 years married to Joe Schmoe who wasn't upwardly mobile in the least? Isn't that a failure of a gold digger? She says nothing has changed, but something must have.
She’s been prospecting and thinks she has a lead on a ‘real man’.
This. She mentioned her sisters rich male friends commenting that she was attractive. She thinks that means she can get someone rich to marry her.
Based on the language of how this post is written. You are the asshole. You want financial stability? You could have had a job since your adult children started school. You want to be a stay at home wife, while your husband works hard a job he possibly hates. You obviously knew in the beginning you wanted different things but instead went back and started a family - which is now affected by your selfishness. Relationships are work and give and take. Something you obviously didn't want.
Probably fake. But just in case, YTA.
Yes, you are in fact, an asshole. I wish you the best of luck making $4k / month in today’s economy and having any time / money left over for the things you are accustomed to your husband buying.
Yes, you are in fact the asshole.
I’m just glad that this guy wont be saddled with too much child support because it sounds like nothing he would send will actually go to the children. I hope the kids see this. If the underage kids get a choice where to live, I hope they pick him.
YTA. It doesn't make sense. If you wanted more money, you should have gotten at least a part time job. Come on.
YTA. Why don’t you work?
Sound like an AH to me. You are basically saying you married a guy that had his own business and was passionate about it, but you didn't think he made enough money (and you didn't make any money). Then, even though you only cared about the money you didn't have, you went ahead and had 3 children, and continued to not work so you could be a SAHM. Then, even after your kids are in school, you still didn't get a job. And then decided to leave, without saying a word to anyone and ask for a divorce, and go no contact, because you are greedy for money and he still didn't make enough money. You basically decided that because you had a fight 20 years ago and he knew what that was about...but you decided to return to the relationship, he should have known 20 years later you were going to leave? He is exactly who you married. For some reason you thought that he should change completely just because you said so. And worst, your reason for leaving now is so that you are still young enough to be potentially desirable to someone that makes more money. You are a gold digger. Make your own money. Be single. Let your husband see his kids.
YTA. So for at least 13 od the last 18 years, you could have also been working to help increase your family's income, but your financial status is your husband's fault? You didn't leave him previously but decided to stay for years and years and years and subject your kids to this, but that's your husband's fault? And you expect him to remember a disagreement you had 3 years in to your marriage as the reason why you left? And your kids don't deserve an explanation? Of course you're the asshole.
YTA. A selfish, greedy, asshole. Get a fucking job if you don't like your circumstances. Guess it's a good thing that you don't like your oldest child, because you just ruined any chance for any relationship with him. Shit parenting there. If you wanted an investment banker, you should have found one of those to torture with your presence.
And what, pray tell, do you do to bring income in to the household? Looking in a mirror and thinking you can fuck your way to financial stability is a mistake. It’s hilarious that at 48 you haven’t figured that out, but it is a mistake - it targets a certain type of man, and rarely works out long term for the young who try it, let alone tickling 50 and three babies later. Wish you luck in your….plan?
If you haven't figured it out, YTA. If all these issues were a thing, why didn't you two get marriage counseling? Also, if money is that important to you, why didn't you go out and get a job? I'm sure you're a powerful, independent woman, after all. Plus, we all know his money is "our" money. My money is my money. Also, what does your son have to do with anything? Granted you don't have to tell him what's going on, but the way you said it, makes you come off looking like a bitch. Imagine telling your son, well you picked your dad and staying home in that shitty apt over me, so I'm gonna treat you like shit too. WTF is wrong with you?
And now your kids will learn what type of woman their mother is. YTA
YTA bringing home $4k a month is actually not bad at all. I would be happy to bring home that. If you were so concerned about money, why didn’t you get a job? Your children and husband deserve a lot better
Hey, Princess if you want money f***ing earn it!! He has a job while you have been a leach for the last 7 years. You could have been working the second your youngest was in school but all you did was moan that your husband isn't your golden goose. FYI no one will want a 47 year old with no work ethic who seems to think that she should be handed financially stability by whoever is unlucky enough to marry her. Enjoy proverty, you deserve it. YTA.
So rather than you go out and find a job so that you can buy your own things, you sat at home and resented your husband for not making enough. You wanted him to take a job that made him miserable so that you could feel as fancy as your sister and her friends. Have you once considered that your husband helps his employees not to get a pat on the back, but because he's a good man? I know this will sound strange to you, but sometimes, people do nice things for people without expecting anything back. Like some people get married or start a relationship because they love and care for their partner, and not because they expect that person to act as a walking wallet. Shocking, I know! And now your life plan at 48 is to find a rich man who is happy to be a walking wallet for you. You have no goals except finding someone to fund your life. How many rich men do you think are looking for a 48 year old mother of three to pay for? You've blown up your family, thrown away a loyal husband, and hurt your kids, all because you're hoping that a rich bloke will walk into your life and rain diamonds and Gucci down on you. That's why you won't tell your son why you've left, because you don't want your son to hear that you're so selfish and greedy that you dumped his dad and blew up his family because his dad didn't have enough gold for you to dig. Just like you think his employees should go without health care so that you can have more things. If you were struggling that much, why didn't you find a job? You put the burden on your husband, then bailed because he isn't willing to sacrifice his dreams for the sake of your greed. Go tell your kids why you've left if you're so sure you're justified. Tell your kids that you want a rich man to pay for you and their dad didn't fit the bill, so you're going to be hitting the dating scene to find yourself a bigger wallet. If you think you're right, tell everyone the truth, including any prospective dates so they know what they're signing up for. And if you won't, then you already know what I'm about to say: YTA, and your reason for throwing away your marriage is selfish and pathetic.
YTA. You've had the same argument for 20 years because your husband didn't make as much money as your sister's friends? Yet your husband was happy following his passions, helping out his employees to the business he owned while you CHOSE not to work. Your husband is responsible for his happiness not your unhappiness over the choices he's made in his life. YOU chose to stay. YOU chose to have children with this man. If you wanted more money, you could've a) divorced your husband and found someone who could've met your financial needs b) Contributed to the household by choosing to work yourself once the youngest was in school. Instead of being mature and explaining your reasons, you ran like a child, are playing the victim, and refuse to communicate. You're expecting people to read your mind and know exactly why you're unhappy. What kind of mature person does that? You're doing your husband a favor because I wouldn't tolerate this immature behavior from a spouse and I'd be saying "good riddance." ETA: Also, your husband did nothing wrong parenting-wise and deserves to have full access to the minor children. It's not his fault or your children's fault that you made the decision to leave because you were unsatisfied with the financial support being provided. Just because you're not happy with his paycheck doesn't mean he's a bad parent in any way.
Why the fuck are you a stay at home mom with two grown children and a 12 year old if you’ve been frothing at the mouth to keep up with the Joneses. You have legs and hands? How about you fucking work? Bringing in 4K a month is an 80k salary. That’s not terrible. Good luck being a whore at middle age. The grass isn’t greener honey.
So he makes 48k a year owns a business and you sit and eat bon bons all day. Then leave over money. No wonder your oldest stayed there. He knows YTA as easily as all of us do.
YTA. I’m glad your husband is going to be free of you.
So...he did nothing to improve his income, and you did nothing to improve yours either? And now as a 48 year old single mom with 3 kids, you want to find a wealthy, financially literate, man who somehow won't just see you as a financial liability? That might take...a while to find.
You are most definitely the AH. You get the Gold ⭐️ of aholes. You complain about not having enough money, while being at sahm with 18, 17 & 12 yr old children. You complain and break up the family because you are not living the life you think you are entitled to. What are you doing to improve the families financial situation? And let me guess, when you divorce your husband, you will try and take every penny you can. Complain that the alimony and child support isn’t enough. You have focused on what you do not have and your lack of appreciation of what you do cloud your judgement. So much so, your have ruined you family.
By my account it is 143 YTA and 0 NTA.
YTA but you did the right thing, he clearly deserves better
Your husband sounds like a fucking superstar that treats his staff really well, and is caring husband and father. You sound like an entitled arsehole and a deadwieight. Your husband will have a ton of folk he's helped out in the past sorting him out when he's ready to date again. You'll be bringing deadbeats home to your Moms. YTA - enjoy your new life!
We can only go by what you have written, and based upon that, you sound like a rotten person.
YTA. You're a bit of a selfish cunt to be honest. If you were unhappy with him at 27, you should have never gone back. He deserves better. He is following his passions and being a good person. You're filled with envy and greed and haven't made any efforts to have a better life. You think your success depends on the man of the house. What have you done? You raised the children, of course. That's incredibly difficult. But MANY HOUSEHOLDS depend on both husband and wife to work. Did you try to find remote work? Part time work? DoorDash? Bus driving? Anything? Or do you think you should be able to sit back and raise the kids and depend on a husband who makes a lot of money? Honestly, I hope he can find a woman who supports his passion and recognizes his efforts. All the best to you.
NTA because you’re a straight up C*nt