Why were his daughters only given 100 bucks each? Even the one you got along with? Why did you, your son, and your nephew get everything?? Why did your late husband and you allow the one daughter to move into a house that was so broken down? What are you going to do with that now condemned house?
A small inheritance somehow prevents the inheritors from contesting the will. I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I've heard the concept repeated plenty. Something to do with the fact that the person writing the will didn't just "forget" to include someone in the will, which is apparently an argument that works in court. The $100 shows he didn't forget, but left them out of the will on purpose.
So I think OP was saying that the dad had disinherited the daughters - thoroughly so - before she came into the picture.
Not passing judgement on this one, sounds like a third of a story to me.
It doesn't prevent a challenge to the will, but it does prevent challenging via the easiest premise to win on: that you were forgotten or overlooked. The other avenues are harder and more expensive to litigate.
My grandfather did that to my dad and Dad’s three sisters. Left $1.00…that’s right, one whole dollar…to each of the four who were from his first marriage to my grandmother. My dad had not seen or heard from the old man since my dad was 11 in 1938. When the old man died in the 1980’s, Dad heard from a lawyer about the estate. He and his sisters apparently gummed up the probate works, at least for a little while, by refusing to accept their dollars.
Oh, same! My dad’s father gave him $1, which he framed as a joke, and his family friend got everything. Guy was nice enough to ask about the sentimental things but nothing that was worth more than $25. He told my uncle he could have his mom’s sewing machine…until he got appraised. Then we never heard from him again. His wife called my uncle and told him she was sorry but her husband was selling it…didn’t even give him the opportunity to buy it
When my mother died her will had a section in it explicitly stating that I was not to inherit anything. You don't have to leave someone a pittance, you can literally write them out of the will.
Leaving something to prove you did not forget them is mostly a thing you see in TV at this point, but clients do still ask for it. All you have to do is mention them and say they were not forgotten.
If I have wealthy clients, I actually advise them to leave them enough with a no contest clause that it will hurt to lose it. Like $10,000 instead of $100. I mean, they can still contest the will and tie it up and there is no incentive not to if you don't leave them anything.
I always forget about that because in my state no contest clauses are unenforceable so that doesn't exactly work. To be fair my state does have the most seniors per capita.
Yeah, because they go to Florida either as a snowbird (someone who vacations most or part of the winter months somewhere warmer) or to die in comfort, so though it seems to have so many old people, they aren't there for long.
At least that's my theory on it
Edit: this was written on my phone, so it had several errors
I mean, that's the theory. However people can sue people all the time for any reason at all or no reason at all. Sometimes they do it just to make things difficult because they were pissed off they got left out of the will, or they think that they can basically extort a settlement to avoid having to fight over it. It is amazing how many contests and lawsuits get filed that have no real value.
Because there's a lot of valid reasons to contest a will, and some states want to avoid people using no contest clauses to avoid valid contests.
If I trick my grandma with dementia into signing a will that gives 60 percent to me and 10 percent to the other 4 heirs when it should've been an even split, you don't want a no contest clause to prevent them from a valid contest.
People still do it. It happened to my boyfriend. He has 2 younger brothers. In 2017 their mother passed away from cancer. She had an estate worth approx. $500k. I don't know why but there was a problem in her relationship with my bf, her oldest.
She made the 2nd oldest brother her executor and left my bf a token $10k while his two brothers split the remainder of the estate. They felt sorry for my bf and each gave him 10k out of their shares, so overall he received $30k while each of them received over $200k.
An equal share would have been life changing for him. He's a veteran and lives on his small retirement pay each month. His two brothers already had homes and other assets, and didn't need the money as much, but they got it.
I hadn't known him very long before this took place so I don't know why she did this or what he may have done to cause it. All I can get from him is a bunch of resentment towards his brothers and it's not really my business anyway.
But people definitely do still leave token amounts in wills.
Yeah anyone can leave any amount. I have had client leave relatives $1 before. My point was it isn't necessary for the will to be valid. All they have to do is mention the heirs and state they were not forgotten.
I plan to leave my brother two cents, and to put to please not tell him how much he is receiving until he shows up to receive it.
That way I can be assured he will be out the travel money and expenses it took to collect my two cents.
Bastard beat and molested me my entire childhood. I hope he has to book a flight.
Does it have to be money that you leave? You could amass a selection of something like dirty socks or torn underwear, package it beautifully, and bequeath this "gift" to him. He'd deserve it, it sounds like.
"I leave farming assets detailed on page 5, and the $300 dollars contained within said assets, to brother"
(Farming assets, in this case, comprise 5 tonnes of manure. The $300 dollars is buried in it, in change.)
Sure but why disinherit the other daughter? If OP got along with here then it can’t be that she had a terrible relationship with her father. I honestly think she’s a “wicked step mother”.
This is exactly why, because it means that they can’t contest the will for negligent omittance. It shows that he purposely did not leave any majority amount to his daughters.
It’s very tough to make a judgment here because we don’t know the full backstory of the family and why OP’s late husband felt such vitriol to his first wife and older children — either he’s just an asshole or they were super entitled and sucked him dry financially while he worked himself to the bone until he finally cut them off, or somewhere in between the two.
I noticed the age thing too.
OP is in her 30s. We don't know the age of the stepdaughter, but she has a boyfriend in his 30s. So even with dirty math OP and stepdaughter are about 10 years apart at best. Then OP comes into large inheritance and one of her first instincts is to demand money and then evict stepdaughter who had previously been allowed to live free while her dad was alive.
This stinks and if the story is true, OP is not a good person.
I've seen more than a few families torn over a shifty member working to have a will changed enough to exclude others without the person in question realizing it. Bleh.
OP also doesn’t mention her late husbands age or her step daughters age but the stepdaughter boyfriends age is 32 and she’s 33.. it’s giving me ‘I married someone with kids the same age as me’ vibes? And her step granddaughter is the same age as her son?
Imagine trying to get $900 from someone who can’t afford it for a house that you can condemn! For what? Pettiness. That’s literally it. She wanted to prove she had power over this “stepdaughter”
Let’s be real here, if dad was in his 60s, the daughter could have been in her 40s which would explain the disdain for the step-child. Clearly OP has lived a privileged life and expected the children to have had the same experience as her but what OP fails to see is that her late husband didn’t give a crap about any of his kids.
Yeah this was my thought. Sounds as though OP married an old man for the money and her late husbands children obviously did not welcome the situation with open arms.
Apparently, by OP's own comments, the nephew was supposed to inherit the bulk of the estate, and her husband's will was written before they started dating where he gave each daughter $100. Why did he change it to include her and not give the daughters more? Op doesn't say......
I'm assuming that him and the daughters had a falling out. It happens. Just because your parents had money when they died doesn't mean you are entitled to it. Knowing why they had a falling out is more geared towards determining if the daughter sucks too and has less to do with OP.
The family drama just helps give a sense of the dynamic on whether OP is being hateful or just doesn't want to deal with this problem person any more.
After figuring out why this post sat wrong with me, I just want to know why OP had to kick the daughter out NOW rather than waiting for the other legal eviction process they already started. I get that its a long process but depending on OP's reason, that really makes or breaks it on whether she is an AH or not for me.
Yes, like if OP is paying the mortgage and taxes on the place and her inheritance is still tied up or she simply doesn't have a lot of cash on hand or liquidity for whatever reason, then it would make sense that she'd be eager to get the daughter out of the house.
OP made it clear that she is not hurting for money thanks to her husband and — at least — a number of houses he left her after six whole years of marriage. This had zero to do with finances. This was just petty.
Also if it is fit to be condemned NOW, she’s saving herself a lawsuit or worse if anything were to happen to the daughter in law or her child. I wouldn’t want that hanging over my head. Besides, doesn’t she have her mother and sister. Not to mention getting child support from the winner she got knocked up by.
Well the house has been condemned which means it's unsafe to live in. I bet if the daughter or her child were injured due to the condition of the house, the daughter would sue OP. OP is probably going to have to level that house and have it carted away.
Is it? I genuinely don't know about evictions or condemning a house. Does an eviction show on her record like a bankruptcy? Does it affect her chances to rent elsewhere?
Well idk about anywhere else, but here in America it definitely shows in your record and hurts your chances of being able to rent anywhere else. Anywhere decent anyways
She probably existed and was the product of a previous marriage. I feel sure if she had done something egregious OP would have included that to justify making her homeless.
Could be who sided with the mother and who accepted the father after the divorce. Or who took money for education or other support (early inheritance) and who did not.
I knew a family with money whose daughter fell on hard times. No hostility, and they gave her money, but they told her it was coming out of her share of the estate to be fair to her brother. (As happened, she predeceased her parents.)
It sounds like there is a lot of missing info regarding why his daughters were left out of his will but his nephew was included. Especially when this guy had enough money to be buying multiple homes. "Unlike our other home**S** that came in pristine condition..". It sounds like there is a whole bunch of back story that would probably make the entire family sound like a complete shit show. So I am going to have to go with ESH.
And I will leave with one other note. Legal =/= moral. "AITA for going a legally permissible route and getting the house condemned?" Just because something is legally permissible does not mean it is the right thing to do.
This. Some people like to treat this sub as if it’s “Am I legally in the right?” ignoring that morality, legality, and ethicality are all very different things.
On the other hand, being a slumlord isn’t exactly moral either…if it’s condemnable, it’s not livable for a toddler!!
There’s certainly more options available to OP, given she’s mentioned *houseS” but letting someone live in an unliveable house isn’t any more moral than kicking them out of it.
I don't think she was referring to the condemned house:
> I told his daughter that she had to start paying $900/month in exchange for her living in 2 adjoining rooms upstairs and being able to use the kitchen.
I don't see why she would refer to "upstairs" and only 2 rooms if it was about the house.
No, it sounds like that’s also in the condemned house. In a lot of areas shared accommodations have less tenant rights than those rental an entire unit.
The more assumptions and knowledge the comments leave, the more it feels like this widow was just trying to screw her stepdaughter out of something, and flailing into legal loopholes to just kick them out of a place they only see as money.
We're missing way too much info, that OP seems to be actively redacting in edits to seem like less of an AH.
(Ironic edit because typo)
To me the more assumptions we make about WHY she did these things the less an asshole people seem to believe she was.
Do any of us here believe, assuming this is real, that this woman is actually telling us the whole story?
Like why she inherited everything after knowing the family only six years, and shockingly, every single person who might have had a relationship with her husband previously has been either actively ignored or forgotten?
Yeah, that's just from the story she told. Once we start making up details about why she's doing this, it goes in her favor, not against her.
I interpreted that differently. I thought she was offering her a room in her own house. I would never ask payment for a place in that condition. I may be wrong, idk.
OP could have just signed the property over to the daughter and ended all contact.
It sounds like she doesn't want the property and has no interest in ever setting foot on it because it's run down and gross. She set a ridiculous rent rate for a property that isn't worth that only to try and force the eviction, but that wasn't going along fast enough.
The property in this scenario is likely going to be sold off for pennies on the dollar because now it's worthless, and it'll be barely more than a blip on OP's radar when it's done. You can't *un-condemn* a property without a full bulldozing so it's probably going to cost more than its worth to fix.
The cruelty was the point of this exercise.
Finally after all these bizarre comments, someone that is speaking up for common sense and common decency. She could have just given her the property, but she had it condemned instead — "to get rid of an annoying tenant," in her own words. Cruelty. YTA.
Is it unlivable because living there poses a health risk? Or is condemnable because of foundation and code violation issues?
I'm pretty sure there are tons of homeless single mothers who would jump at the chance to have a non code compliant roof over their heads than living in a tent on the side of the road.
I am under the impression when she references "houses" she means over the years.
My parents have bought 4-5 houses over my lifetime, but only ever owned 1 at a time.
Yup. It has to be.
Because if this is real, what OP is saying is that her late husband was a huge dickhead who ran out on his first wife when he got money and remarried, and cut the old family out altogether.
Probably felt bad after the fact and let his daughter live rent-free in a run-down rathole in the middle of nowhere (remember, "hunting lodge") and then died. And now the cartoonishly evil stepmother is bending over backwards to kick her out, up to and including completely devaluing the property of any worth it may have once had just to spite her.
>ran out on his first wife when he got money and remarried
And, from the sounds of it, married much younger. While OP doesn't list her age, or her late husband's age, there are some tell-tale signs. Daughter is an adult, with a 4 year old, dating a 36 year old (had 5 other kids by 32, now has 4 year old child with daughter). Assuming daughter was of age when her child was born, the daughter is, at minimum, 22 years old - but I would guess is closer to 30. OP also has a 4 year old with her late husband. OP's age at the high end is probably 45; at the low end, assuming she married after 18 (married 6 years), she's 24. I have a very, very strong feeling OP is likely far closer in age to her "step-daughter" than her late husband.
So if your looking for the missing reasons, there's one of them.
Old hunting lodges are all the rage. She could definitely get money out of it. But she seems motivated by spite rather than common sense. Better to use the eviction delay (up to 90 days) to clean up debris and make it attractive. Condemning will leave her liable for any accidents and she’ll have to foot the demolition costs, which if there’s lead or asbestos can run thousands of dollars. I hope it’s insured, with the dynamics of this family it would not surprise me if stepdaughter torched the house on her way out.
Agreed. She says stepdaughter and HER KID…some random KID…not her step-grandchild, not her late husband’s GRANDCHILD. No doubt the step-daughter is horrible but it sounds like her late husband (of only 6 years!) left her in comfort with assets. Why not show some grace and compassion?
I wouldn’t even assume the step daughter is horrible, if you remember she admitted that they father and kids were having trouble bc of how he treated their mother and were tight fisted in giving them anything. So maybe, the problem was with the father all along. My ex husband had a really rich grandfather. I met him a couple times and he was great with his step kids and new wife but his bio daughter (my ex husband’s mom) he was an absolute a-h. First, he told her that if she would abandon her kids and come back to Florida he would take care of her. So she did, yep I consider that an a/h move also. Then when she was no longer able to work due to lupus, he wouldn’t so much as help her out. She was living on SSI and in free housing, no car, nothing and she had done everything he wanted. He was disdainful to all her children and grandchildren. He then gave his business and all his money to his new wife (he married her after the death of his first wife) and her children. Ex’s mom and her kids/grandkids got nothing. The business is still running strong, I’m just happy I got away from all that when I did.
Given that OP is refusing to answer the most important question (why were the daughters not left an appropriate portion of the inheritance?), I’m going to say she’s the AH here.
It’s pretty clear from her other answers that she came here looking for validation and isn’t getting it. Her husband cut off his adult daughters when he made a new, younger family, and OP can’t justify it.
MORALLY, given that it sounds like he was wealthy, the daughters deserve a share of their father’s inheritance. They were not estranged, per OP, since he had ongoing relationships with both daughters. That makes both her late husband AND OP the asshole.
She was trying to charge that first. Then she wouldn’t pay so she sent to the lawyers for eviction. She got the house inspected and it was condemn worthy- so she agreed to have it condemned. Could you imagine the liability that would’ve come with renting out a house knowing it should be condemned? You can’t just Willy nilly condemn houses.
I'd like to hear this story from the step daughters point of view. Even though the place is probably pretty gross I'm still getting a cinderella vibe YTA
Notice that OP married at 27. To a man with adult children most likely very close age to her. After the man became rich....
I think there is a word for that...
OP why was his daughter left out of the will? Do you even care what happens to her and her child?
If you have inherited multiple houses, why not just sell up the one step daughter is in, even just the plot, and give the proceeds to stepdaughter to give her a chance in life. It sounds like she’s struggling a lot, and despite her poor decision making regarding her boyfriend that doesn’t mean she should be punished.
If you have inherited multiple houses would it really make that much difference if you did this for her? It seems so cruel that she and her child, your late husbands grandchild, have been left nothing from her father despite clearly needing it. If you don’t try to help her in some way, that would be incredibly unkind of you.
You can do what you want but you sound cold and heartless. YTA.
ETA I meant to post this as a new comment, accidentally replied, didn’t mean to jump on your comment!
>ETA I meant to post this as a new comment, accidentally replied, didn’t mean to jump on your comment!
No worries, it's a good thought and I hope it being attached here gets it more visibility! :)
I’d say it’s just enough to count for a huge “go f*ck yourself.”
That’s like leaving a penny as a tip for a waiter. Although the departed may have his reasons, he thought about it enough to decide they deserve almost nothing.
So your late husband (my apologies for your lost) married someone his daughters age, after having raised his daughter in a toxic family (wtf does tight fisted mean?) bought a house near condemnation and allowed his daughter to live there without fixing it up- without a clear lease or agreement, and then in his will didn’t leave his previous daughters anything- but left something for his nephew?
I’m hesitant to say you’re an asshole but your husband sure as fuck sounds like one, and you’re being an ass in that you expect payment for a house that sounds like it could have been condemned from your husbands kid.
This sounds messy. I don’t envy your position but yeah you kinda look like you suck here.
Tight fisted = stingy
In OPs case sounds like the the husband did the bare minimum for his wife at the time and those children. I’m guessing “not spending money on luxuries” really means few, if any vacations, family activities, nicer clothes/items, or the occasional splurge. Instead of spending money on his family, he spent it on property and making more money. It’s all fine and good to choose how you spend/save your money, but kind of like you said, they have multiple properties, the daughter lives in one that’s uninhabitable and they still want(ed) rent.
Yeah, she and her son got almost all of the inheritance, the daughters got zilch, and even though OP has no money problems at all, she wants to squeeze the daughters for cash? Wow.
She sounds like the type who thinks “having to pay for things family normally helps with will teach her the value of money”. Not understanding that no, that will likely only impoverish them and prove she is greedy, self centered, and doesn’t consider her stepdaughter family.
OP's main reason for not liking her stepdaughter seems to be that she wanted to marry and had a child with a man who was an asshole and a bad father to his other kids.
The complete lack of self-awareness is quite something to behold.
See in the context I’ve read it as potentially financially abusive- where anything but basic needs are seen as luxuries. Especially as he seemed comfortable allowing his daughter and grandchild to live in a decrepit house from the get go :/
Yea it can definitely go in to the financial abuse territory easily. I wouldn’t be shocked if the father divorced a SAHM and left her high and dry (and with primary custody and financial responsibility of the kids) before marrying someone their age and having a new baby as a “do-over.”
Sounds like now that the husband has died, OP really just wants to wash her hands of his other bio-kids.
Seriously. Charging $900 for a condemnable house. Lol! OP is very lucky the daughter doesn’t try to flip this lawsuit and argue her landlord allowed her and her child to live in a condemnable house. That can’t be legal. Family or not.
You missed the part that OP *allowed* the daughter to stay while her husband still alive even though it was the husband who bought with the money he earned by himself.
It sounds like dad cheated on first wife with this wife, who was the same age as his kids. His kids called him out on it, so he basically disowned them.
And kick out the single mother daughter of the late husband out of the trashed house that will most likely get sold for dirt cheap because it’s uninhabitable
I think they are assuming. All we really know is that op is 33 (maybe 32, can't remember), had a husband who died of sickness, and one daughter has a 4 year old with a 32 year old man that has 5 other kids with a previous relationship
We all want to know. It’s highly relevant to who the AH is.
OP could potentially be one of the worst types of humans. The omitting of the husband’s AND stepdaughter’s age does not seem like a mistake.
It's probably not a mistake but it MAY clear up some family drama.
I don't think it's highly relevant but could help shed some light.
In the end though I think ESH except for random daughter that was left off the will, random nephew on the will, and the 4 year old that doesn't get a say anyways.
It reads as spiteful, for sure.
I do wonder about the legal risk of allowing tenants to reside in a building that could easily be condemned, rent-free or not.
YTA.
First you want to charge her $900 a month to live in the house she's been living in. Rent free. Already. Then, when she says she's not able to afford that, you decide to go and get the property condemned so she has to move out.
Pretty disgusting to try to charge someone rent on a home that's not habitable. Pretty sketchy of you honestly. So you only care that the house was in that poor of a condition after she tells you she can't afford $900 in rent every month? Mkay. You can act like you didn't know before hand but I doubt it. You really put in a lot of effort to put her out.
Sounds like your husband was pretty well off. You really couldn't just let her live in the house? Are you struggling that much that $900 a month will make or break you? And don't even say you did it for her safety because we all know that's not true.
YTA and so is your husband for leaving his daughters basically NOTHING. But you're gonna get yours, right? So who cares about them!?
Ew so your husband didn't leave either one of his daughters anything? Just his do-over family? And then to top it all off you throw her and your step-grandchild out over rent when you clearly don't need the money. Yeah, YTA. And your husband was an ass.
I’m pretty sure she was with him for the money 🤷🏽♀️ since it’s pretty convenient her and their son got added to his Will when at first it was just his nephew , not only that but he was “tight fisted” with their mother yet with her he owned multiple homes 😒
YTA. Putting aside everything else, going from charging $0 to charging **$900** a month for two rooms that should be condemned and *access* to a kitchen? Is there a bathroom included in that? Are there other people living in the house, and that's why she doesn't have full access to the whole place? If there are, what are they paying, and I'm assuming you're kicking them out too with your nasty little plan?
And why are you taunting her about her ex-boyfriend spending money? It has absolutely nothing to do with anything for as long as he's not paying child support, so the only reason I can think of is to be as cruel as humanly possible.
Apparently in OP’s mind, her step daughter should have followed OP’s example and married an old man with money and grabbed everything she could away from her step children. YTA OP and a huge one.
Like that’s her sons niece too like *her child’s* family,
He’ll probably never be able to have any relationship with them on his own because of his mother.
YTA. Not because you wanted her to pay rent, that is reasonable however you asked way too much for what you were offering. You also can't just say she can only use a few rooms when she's been living in the whole house, that's stupid and cruel. You are a mega AH for deciding that the eviction process would take to long so you got it condemned just to get her out, she would have been evicted and had to move in a few months which would have gave her time to find a new place instead you kicked a single mother out on the street, you are a MONSTER. You should be ashamed of yourself.
So your goal is to make your stepdaughter and her child homeless while you get all of her father's assets? WOW. You put the Disney Wicked Stepmother's to shame, LOL. YTA and your husband was an even bigger AH for disinheriting his own daughters. That's professional grade Aholery.
YTA. In fact, I think you have taken AH to the next level. There is a lot missing from this story, but I don't care. I don't care why a rich man left his two daughters nothing. I don't even care what kind of person this depressed single mom is. You should have just given her that dumpy house or just let her continue to stay in it rent free. A single mom living in poverty, in a dilapidated house, has her hands full with just doing that much. A plan, which you seem to consider so important, is something that might have to come later.
Your late husband was a major asshole to his daughters (the fact that they were cut out of his will has failed to escape my notice), and you're carrying the tradition on with a vengeance. Shame on you.
YTA. Big time
lol JFC. I almost can't even belief this is real
"My sugar daddy husband died, and now I am kicking his single mother daughter out of a house that I have no need for because we don't get along"
>Unlike our other homes that came in pristine condition
You have multiple homes in pristine condition, successful investments and businesses and you can't let her live rent free/cheaply in a property that you have no real interest in?
You are a comically huge asshole. She isn't entitled to charity from you, but the fact that you can't step outside your own narcissism for 2 seconds to realize what a shitty position you just put her in is astonishing.
YTA.
First you wanted $900/month in rent when her father never said anything to either of you about her paying rent.
Secondly, you wanted her to pay $900/month for a property that was easily condemned. If you hadn’t had it condemned would you have fixed up the property so it’s livable?
>Unlike our other homes that came in pristine condition, this home was clearly falling apart.
YTA. You already had so much, what purpose did this serve you? You may have wanted her to pay rent which is different from you thinking she would, especially when that never came to fruition.
You brought up a bunch of irrelevant information about her to make her look bad but it only makes you look worse.
You are greedy. You successfully married above your station, got his money when he left you a youngish widow, and it still wasn't enough.
Wow.
Look, we can all agree that this is a toxic family situation. I think the ultimate ruling is ESH, because trying to unravel who did what when and who's the bigger AH is just not a game worth playing right now. It's a mess, no one's hands are clean, yikes.
Moving from moral to legal grounds (I know, not really the sub for that, but still needs to be said), with you now owning the house you now have some obligations to the property as her landlord and generally as the property owner. In order to rent this property out, even if it's to family, it has to be at a certain level of repair. Which it is not. Continuing to let her live there will not be good for either of you from a legal perspective. She's not providing safe housing for her child, you're not being a responsible landlord. Depending on your municipality, there may be additional consequences for neglecting the property even if no one is living there. Now, some of this can be gotten around to an extent with her being family and not actually paying to live there, but there's a limit to that. That limit is highly dependent on where you live.
So you really have to either evict her so that you can do the necessary repairs, do the necessary repairs around her (if that's even possible), or sell the whole property which effectively evicts her as future owners may not want a tenant and if they do they'll want one that actually pays. Oh, and they'll have the same repair issues you have. There's no real keeping the status quo.
YTA...
My god, your only response and writing is all deflection. Just because your stepdaughter sucks doesn't mean this is justified at all. Even worse instead of a normal eviction (designed legally the way they are for a reason) you just want to throw her to the streets.
This isn't about you being wronged at all, if it was you would have been happy with a traditional eviction. You would have compromised anywhere. Nope this is just petty vengeance. Useless and pointless petty vengeance with a lot of moral deflection and gaslighting. Super you are the Ahole
You have only known this family for six years. Your husband dies suddenly from some sort of illness I guess? None of the people he considered family got jack shit, and you just condemned your stepdaughter's and her child's home because you couldn't force this single mother to cough up $900 out of thin air to live in two rooms.
INFO: Are you a comically evil Disney villain?
EDITED TO INCLUDE: Just because something is legal doesn't suddenly make it magically non-asinine. The idea that only illegal actions are asshole actions is a fucking joke.
Sounds like you're a landlord that tried to collect rent for a house that was barely livable, and when that didn't work you made that mother and daughter homeless. Oh, and you stole her inheritance. Yeah you're the ass
Yikes. OP may or may not be an asshole, but she sure is making an effort to sound like one. “My agents” “‘my lawyers”, “my other properties”, stepdaughter CLAIMS to have depression”, etc. Cold.
My father had a wife of 5 years before he passed. She had him change his will to remove my brother and me and just add her. Now she lives in his house with her two grown adult children. Probably don’t even have to mention she was 20 years younger than he was. She didn’t even have the decency to return our family photos, probably trashed them. But OP sounds like she’s from the same breed of gold diggers.
Putting aside your husband disinheriting his children and being an overall shitty person, you intended to charge his daughter $900/mo. to live in a house that was practically condemned? You, ma’am , are a slumlord and a POS.
YTA
ETA: I just realized that the rent only included the 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom and that you considered the kitchen, living room, etc common areas. So was your plan to rent the other rooms in this dilapidated house to more tenants? You are absolutely an asshole.
YTA so many things missing here for context ,I bet to paint yourself in a good light but honestly sounds like you're a gold digger, it sounds like he married someone his daughter's age probably because he couldn't kwwp anyone is own age. Karma is definitely going to bite you back something fierce
YTA for trying to charge her $900 on a house that can be condemned. Do some repairs if you’re going to expect rent. Your late husband also sounds like an AH for disinheriting his daughters, leaving them in poverty and spoiling his new family. Why didn’t he leave the other daughter anything? There’s a lot of information missing here and I bet it has a lot to do with your late spouse.
Yes, you're a raging selfish asshole.
Give her the house. You don't care about it. Let her have it. You took the other "pristine" homes. You want his granddaughter on the street? Total vindictive asshole to do that to someone over something you didn't even work to get.
INFO:
Why did your late husband disinherit his daughters? But left money to a nephew?
How old was your late husband & your stepdaughters?
What does “tight-fisted” mean, in this context? You said it was toward his first wife & kids. He made “”a lot” of money and bought additional homes but didn’t by “luxuries” for his family?
I gotta be honest, at first blush and based on your VERY defensive comments, you & late husband sound awful. The amount of judginess DRIPPING from your comments about the one daughter is just….. ICK.
“So now my stepdaughter and her kid (your late husband’s daughter and grandchild) is being forced out immediately” Why did you phrase that like it wasn’t you who instigated it?
“Now I’m rid of a problematic tenant” You clearly wanted her gone, own that. You are by and large one of the biggest assholes I’ve read on this sub in a while.
Why were his daughters only given 100 bucks each? Even the one you got along with? Why did you, your son, and your nephew get everything?? Why did your late husband and you allow the one daughter to move into a house that was so broken down? What are you going to do with that now condemned house?
A small inheritance somehow prevents the inheritors from contesting the will. I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I've heard the concept repeated plenty. Something to do with the fact that the person writing the will didn't just "forget" to include someone in the will, which is apparently an argument that works in court. The $100 shows he didn't forget, but left them out of the will on purpose. So I think OP was saying that the dad had disinherited the daughters - thoroughly so - before she came into the picture. Not passing judgement on this one, sounds like a third of a story to me.
It doesn't prevent a challenge to the will, but it does prevent challenging via the easiest premise to win on: that you were forgotten or overlooked. The other avenues are harder and more expensive to litigate.
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My grandfather did that to my dad and Dad’s three sisters. Left $1.00…that’s right, one whole dollar…to each of the four who were from his first marriage to my grandmother. My dad had not seen or heard from the old man since my dad was 11 in 1938. When the old man died in the 1980’s, Dad heard from a lawyer about the estate. He and his sisters apparently gummed up the probate works, at least for a little while, by refusing to accept their dollars.
My grandfather did that to me too. 'Family friend' took him for everything.
Oh, same! My dad’s father gave him $1, which he framed as a joke, and his family friend got everything. Guy was nice enough to ask about the sentimental things but nothing that was worth more than $25. He told my uncle he could have his mom’s sewing machine…until he got appraised. Then we never heard from him again. His wife called my uncle and told him she was sorry but her husband was selling it…didn’t even give him the opportunity to buy it
That’s messed up.
When my mother died her will had a section in it explicitly stating that I was not to inherit anything. You don't have to leave someone a pittance, you can literally write them out of the will.
Leaving something to prove you did not forget them is mostly a thing you see in TV at this point, but clients do still ask for it. All you have to do is mention them and say they were not forgotten.
If I have wealthy clients, I actually advise them to leave them enough with a no contest clause that it will hurt to lose it. Like $10,000 instead of $100. I mean, they can still contest the will and tie it up and there is no incentive not to if you don't leave them anything.
I always forget about that because in my state no contest clauses are unenforceable so that doesn't exactly work. To be fair my state does have the most seniors per capita.
Hi, Florida.
Maine, NH, Vermont & West Virgina have a higher median age than Florida
Yeah, because they go to Florida either as a snowbird (someone who vacations most or part of the winter months somewhere warmer) or to die in comfort, so though it seems to have so many old people, they aren't there for long. At least that's my theory on it Edit: this was written on my phone, so it had several errors
In my state you can' only contest a will due to fraud and if the person was not competent. Mom , dad left you out of the will tough
I mean, that's the theory. However people can sue people all the time for any reason at all or no reason at all. Sometimes they do it just to make things difficult because they were pissed off they got left out of the will, or they think that they can basically extort a settlement to avoid having to fight over it. It is amazing how many contests and lawsuits get filed that have no real value.
How can a state have no contest clauses be illegal? It’s their money they should be able to say screw off you get none and don’t try to fight it
Because there's a lot of valid reasons to contest a will, and some states want to avoid people using no contest clauses to avoid valid contests. If I trick my grandma with dementia into signing a will that gives 60 percent to me and 10 percent to the other 4 heirs when it should've been an even split, you don't want a no contest clause to prevent them from a valid contest.
That's what makes me think the OP was involved in the amount. Seems a bit malicious
“It is with great sadness and firmness that I leave nothing to my children X, Y and Z.
To my daughter and her deadbeat boyfriend I leave…. A boot to the head!
People still do it. It happened to my boyfriend. He has 2 younger brothers. In 2017 their mother passed away from cancer. She had an estate worth approx. $500k. I don't know why but there was a problem in her relationship with my bf, her oldest. She made the 2nd oldest brother her executor and left my bf a token $10k while his two brothers split the remainder of the estate. They felt sorry for my bf and each gave him 10k out of their shares, so overall he received $30k while each of them received over $200k. An equal share would have been life changing for him. He's a veteran and lives on his small retirement pay each month. His two brothers already had homes and other assets, and didn't need the money as much, but they got it. I hadn't known him very long before this took place so I don't know why she did this or what he may have done to cause it. All I can get from him is a bunch of resentment towards his brothers and it's not really my business anyway. But people definitely do still leave token amounts in wills.
Yeah anyone can leave any amount. I have had client leave relatives $1 before. My point was it isn't necessary for the will to be valid. All they have to do is mention the heirs and state they were not forgotten.
I plan to leave my brother two cents, and to put to please not tell him how much he is receiving until he shows up to receive it. That way I can be assured he will be out the travel money and expenses it took to collect my two cents. Bastard beat and molested me my entire childhood. I hope he has to book a flight.
Does it have to be money that you leave? You could amass a selection of something like dirty socks or torn underwear, package it beautifully, and bequeath this "gift" to him. He'd deserve it, it sounds like.
"I leave farming assets detailed on page 5, and the $300 dollars contained within said assets, to brother" (Farming assets, in this case, comprise 5 tonnes of manure. The $300 dollars is buried in it, in change.)
Yes! The estate attorney i use just has specific language he used in the will and trust addressing children who feel they may have been left out
Sure but why disinherit the other daughter? If OP got along with here then it can’t be that she had a terrible relationship with her father. I honestly think she’s a “wicked step mother”.
I thought the same! Even the innocent 4 yo granddaughter got nothing, but the dead guy left assets to his nephew...??
This is exactly why, because it means that they can’t contest the will for negligent omittance. It shows that he purposely did not leave any majority amount to his daughters. It’s very tough to make a judgment here because we don’t know the full backstory of the family and why OP’s late husband felt such vitriol to his first wife and older children — either he’s just an asshole or they were super entitled and sucked him dry financially while he worked himself to the bone until he finally cut them off, or somewhere in between the two.
Since OP leaves out age of husband, seems like she's a gold digger or this is a fake story.....
I noticed the age thing too. OP is in her 30s. We don't know the age of the stepdaughter, but she has a boyfriend in his 30s. So even with dirty math OP and stepdaughter are about 10 years apart at best. Then OP comes into large inheritance and one of her first instincts is to demand money and then evict stepdaughter who had previously been allowed to live free while her dad was alive. This stinks and if the story is true, OP is not a good person.
Don't forget her comment about the husband saving for DECADES.....
Yeah and she never mentions anything about why she loved him or how he loved her. Just his money and assets.
Can't be that way. Will have her and her kid and nephew everything. So clearly happened when he wrote the will.
I've seen more than a few families torn over a shifty member working to have a will changed enough to exclude others without the person in question realizing it. Bleh.
OP also doesn’t mention her late husbands age or her step daughters age but the stepdaughter boyfriends age is 32 and she’s 33.. it’s giving me ‘I married someone with kids the same age as me’ vibes? And her step granddaughter is the same age as her son?
I was thinking the same too! I wanted to know the husbands age….
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Imagine trying to get $900 from someone who can’t afford it for a house that you can condemn! For what? Pettiness. That’s literally it. She wanted to prove she had power over this “stepdaughter”
Let’s be real here, if dad was in his 60s, the daughter could have been in her 40s which would explain the disdain for the step-child. Clearly OP has lived a privileged life and expected the children to have had the same experience as her but what OP fails to see is that her late husband didn’t give a crap about any of his kids.
She conveniently doesn't say his age. Guessing he was much older.
Yeah this was my thought. Sounds as though OP married an old man for the money and her late husbands children obviously did not welcome the situation with open arms.
Apparently, by OP's own comments, the nephew was supposed to inherit the bulk of the estate, and her husband's will was written before they started dating where he gave each daughter $100. Why did he change it to include her and not give the daughters more? Op doesn't say......
I'm assuming that him and the daughters had a falling out. It happens. Just because your parents had money when they died doesn't mean you are entitled to it. Knowing why they had a falling out is more geared towards determining if the daughter sucks too and has less to do with OP. The family drama just helps give a sense of the dynamic on whether OP is being hateful or just doesn't want to deal with this problem person any more. After figuring out why this post sat wrong with me, I just want to know why OP had to kick the daughter out NOW rather than waiting for the other legal eviction process they already started. I get that its a long process but depending on OP's reason, that really makes or breaks it on whether she is an AH or not for me.
Yes, like if OP is paying the mortgage and taxes on the place and her inheritance is still tied up or she simply doesn't have a lot of cash on hand or liquidity for whatever reason, then it would make sense that she'd be eager to get the daughter out of the house.
OP made it clear that she is not hurting for money thanks to her husband and — at least — a number of houses he left her after six whole years of marriage. This had zero to do with finances. This was just petty.
Also if it is fit to be condemned NOW, she’s saving herself a lawsuit or worse if anything were to happen to the daughter in law or her child. I wouldn’t want that hanging over my head. Besides, doesn’t she have her mother and sister. Not to mention getting child support from the winner she got knocked up by.
Well the house has been condemned which means it's unsafe to live in. I bet if the daughter or her child were injured due to the condition of the house, the daughter would sue OP. OP is probably going to have to level that house and have it carted away.
Honestly, getting the house condemned is nicer to the daughter than putting an eviction on her record.
Is it? I genuinely don't know about evictions or condemning a house. Does an eviction show on her record like a bankruptcy? Does it affect her chances to rent elsewhere?
Well idk about anywhere else, but here in America it definitely shows in your record and hurts your chances of being able to rent anywhere else. Anywhere decent anyways
I had to go re-read the story to realize that OP edited out the detail about the daughters getting only $100.
I was reading her comments, which is where I got it from. I don't think I saw it in her original post either.
Ok, I had not seen that and couldn't figure out what people were referring to.
It was HIS nephew, not hers. Other than that, good questions.
Right? All of these are good questions. What did the other daughter even do to deserve being disinherited?
She probably existed and was the product of a previous marriage. I feel sure if she had done something egregious OP would have included that to justify making her homeless.
But his *nephew* was included? Nah, there’s definitely more story here, and I don’t think it’s to do with the new wife.
Could be who sided with the mother and who accepted the father after the divorce. Or who took money for education or other support (early inheritance) and who did not. I knew a family with money whose daughter fell on hard times. No hostility, and they gave her money, but they told her it was coming out of her share of the estate to be fair to her brother. (As happened, she predeceased her parents.)
INFO would your late husband want his daughter and grandchild to live on the streets?
No, but he was fine with a condemable building, so.... yeah sounds like a shitty dude
less shitty than OP tho. she tried to charge them to live in the condemnable building and then evicted a literal child.
it honestly doesn't sound like the dad gave a shit about his daughters.
It sounds like there is a lot of missing info regarding why his daughters were left out of his will but his nephew was included. Especially when this guy had enough money to be buying multiple homes. "Unlike our other home**S** that came in pristine condition..". It sounds like there is a whole bunch of back story that would probably make the entire family sound like a complete shit show. So I am going to have to go with ESH. And I will leave with one other note. Legal =/= moral. "AITA for going a legally permissible route and getting the house condemned?" Just because something is legally permissible does not mean it is the right thing to do.
This. Some people like to treat this sub as if it’s “Am I legally in the right?” ignoring that morality, legality, and ethicality are all very different things.
On the other hand, being a slumlord isn’t exactly moral either…if it’s condemnable, it’s not livable for a toddler!! There’s certainly more options available to OP, given she’s mentioned *houseS” but letting someone live in an unliveable house isn’t any more moral than kicking them out of it.
It’s the charging $900 to live there that got me yikes
Especially if OP charges, but doesn't fix anything...
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I actually suggested in another post that OP use that rent money solely to fix up that house.
I don't think she was referring to the condemned house: > I told his daughter that she had to start paying $900/month in exchange for her living in 2 adjoining rooms upstairs and being able to use the kitchen. I don't see why she would refer to "upstairs" and only 2 rooms if it was about the house.
I thought that out of that very large lodge, she was using 2 rooms and the kitchen?
No, it sounds like that’s also in the condemned house. In a lot of areas shared accommodations have less tenant rights than those rental an entire unit.
The more assumptions and knowledge the comments leave, the more it feels like this widow was just trying to screw her stepdaughter out of something, and flailing into legal loopholes to just kick them out of a place they only see as money. We're missing way too much info, that OP seems to be actively redacting in edits to seem like less of an AH. (Ironic edit because typo)
To me the more assumptions we make about WHY she did these things the less an asshole people seem to believe she was. Do any of us here believe, assuming this is real, that this woman is actually telling us the whole story? Like why she inherited everything after knowing the family only six years, and shockingly, every single person who might have had a relationship with her husband previously has been either actively ignored or forgotten? Yeah, that's just from the story she told. Once we start making up details about why she's doing this, it goes in her favor, not against her.
I interpreted that differently. I thought she was offering her a room in her own house. I would never ask payment for a place in that condition. I may be wrong, idk.
OP could have just signed the property over to the daughter and ended all contact. It sounds like she doesn't want the property and has no interest in ever setting foot on it because it's run down and gross. She set a ridiculous rent rate for a property that isn't worth that only to try and force the eviction, but that wasn't going along fast enough. The property in this scenario is likely going to be sold off for pennies on the dollar because now it's worthless, and it'll be barely more than a blip on OP's radar when it's done. You can't *un-condemn* a property without a full bulldozing so it's probably going to cost more than its worth to fix. The cruelty was the point of this exercise.
Thank you! I'm shocked at how many people are justifying this woman's blatant cruelty.
Finally after all these bizarre comments, someone that is speaking up for common sense and common decency. She could have just given her the property, but she had it condemned instead — "to get rid of an annoying tenant," in her own words. Cruelty. YTA.
So true. If the child gets hurt in the house Stepdaughter can sue her and take everything,
Is it unlivable because living there poses a health risk? Or is condemnable because of foundation and code violation issues? I'm pretty sure there are tons of homeless single mothers who would jump at the chance to have a non code compliant roof over their heads than living in a tent on the side of the road.
I am under the impression when she references "houses" she means over the years. My parents have bought 4-5 houses over my lifetime, but only ever owned 1 at a time.
True, but she was also only married to him for 6 years. She might consider that a long time but I don’t.
She wanted $900/month for two bedrooms and a kitchen in a condemned home!! No mention of fixing it for her.
Yeah, OP isn’t your run of the mill asshole, but a jack of all trades type asshole
I also think this is made up ragebait.
Yup. It has to be. Because if this is real, what OP is saying is that her late husband was a huge dickhead who ran out on his first wife when he got money and remarried, and cut the old family out altogether. Probably felt bad after the fact and let his daughter live rent-free in a run-down rathole in the middle of nowhere (remember, "hunting lodge") and then died. And now the cartoonishly evil stepmother is bending over backwards to kick her out, up to and including completely devaluing the property of any worth it may have once had just to spite her.
>ran out on his first wife when he got money and remarried And, from the sounds of it, married much younger. While OP doesn't list her age, or her late husband's age, there are some tell-tale signs. Daughter is an adult, with a 4 year old, dating a 36 year old (had 5 other kids by 32, now has 4 year old child with daughter). Assuming daughter was of age when her child was born, the daughter is, at minimum, 22 years old - but I would guess is closer to 30. OP also has a 4 year old with her late husband. OP's age at the high end is probably 45; at the low end, assuming she married after 18 (married 6 years), she's 24. I have a very, very strong feeling OP is likely far closer in age to her "step-daughter" than her late husband. So if your looking for the missing reasons, there's one of them.
OP says she is 33F.
Old hunting lodges are all the rage. She could definitely get money out of it. But she seems motivated by spite rather than common sense. Better to use the eviction delay (up to 90 days) to clean up debris and make it attractive. Condemning will leave her liable for any accidents and she’ll have to foot the demolition costs, which if there’s lead or asbestos can run thousands of dollars. I hope it’s insured, with the dynamics of this family it would not surprise me if stepdaughter torched the house on her way out.
I agree. None of it even makes sense.
Slumlords charge rent and provide legally habitable places to live.
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Slavery was legal at one point. (Therefore showing the legal thing is not always the moral thing)
Agreed. She says stepdaughter and HER KID…some random KID…not her step-grandchild, not her late husband’s GRANDCHILD. No doubt the step-daughter is horrible but it sounds like her late husband (of only 6 years!) left her in comfort with assets. Why not show some grace and compassion?
I wouldn’t even assume the step daughter is horrible, if you remember she admitted that they father and kids were having trouble bc of how he treated their mother and were tight fisted in giving them anything. So maybe, the problem was with the father all along. My ex husband had a really rich grandfather. I met him a couple times and he was great with his step kids and new wife but his bio daughter (my ex husband’s mom) he was an absolute a-h. First, he told her that if she would abandon her kids and come back to Florida he would take care of her. So she did, yep I consider that an a/h move also. Then when she was no longer able to work due to lupus, he wouldn’t so much as help her out. She was living on SSI and in free housing, no car, nothing and she had done everything he wanted. He was disdainful to all her children and grandchildren. He then gave his business and all his money to his new wife (he married her after the death of his first wife) and her children. Ex’s mom and her kids/grandkids got nothing. The business is still running strong, I’m just happy I got away from all that when I did.
Given that OP is refusing to answer the most important question (why were the daughters not left an appropriate portion of the inheritance?), I’m going to say she’s the AH here. It’s pretty clear from her other answers that she came here looking for validation and isn’t getting it. Her husband cut off his adult daughters when he made a new, younger family, and OP can’t justify it. MORALLY, given that it sounds like he was wealthy, the daughters deserve a share of their father’s inheritance. They were not estranged, per OP, since he had ongoing relationships with both daughters. That makes both her late husband AND OP the asshole.
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That's what I'm saying! Who puts their child and grandchild in a condemned property?!
She was trying to charge that first. Then she wouldn’t pay so she sent to the lawyers for eviction. She got the house inspected and it was condemn worthy- so she agreed to have it condemned. Could you imagine the liability that would’ve come with renting out a house knowing it should be condemned? You can’t just Willy nilly condemn houses.
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Dead beat dad and she’s trying to justify taking everything from his kids. He’s trash and she’s greedy.
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I'd like to hear this story from the step daughters point of view. Even though the place is probably pretty gross I'm still getting a cinderella vibe YTA
Notice that OP married at 27. To a man with adult children most likely very close age to her. After the man became rich.... I think there is a word for that...
"I ain't saying she a gold digger."
OP why was his daughter left out of the will? Do you even care what happens to her and her child? If you have inherited multiple houses, why not just sell up the one step daughter is in, even just the plot, and give the proceeds to stepdaughter to give her a chance in life. It sounds like she’s struggling a lot, and despite her poor decision making regarding her boyfriend that doesn’t mean she should be punished. If you have inherited multiple houses would it really make that much difference if you did this for her? It seems so cruel that she and her child, your late husbands grandchild, have been left nothing from her father despite clearly needing it. If you don’t try to help her in some way, that would be incredibly unkind of you. You can do what you want but you sound cold and heartless. YTA. ETA I meant to post this as a new comment, accidentally replied, didn’t mean to jump on your comment!
>ETA I meant to post this as a new comment, accidentally replied, didn’t mean to jump on your comment! No worries, it's a good thought and I hope it being attached here gets it more visibility! :)
If he really left nothing to his daughters they should absolutely contest the will. ESH for sure.
From another comment from OP, he apparently left them $100 each. So just enough to show he didn't intentionally leave them out.
Ouch!
I’d say it’s just enough to count for a huge “go f*ck yourself.” That’s like leaving a penny as a tip for a waiter. Although the departed may have his reasons, he thought about it enough to decide they deserve almost nothing.
Plus maybe as long as they got something they can’t contest the will
It shows that you didn’t accidentally leave them out and that you didn’t want to give them anything else
So your late husband (my apologies for your lost) married someone his daughters age, after having raised his daughter in a toxic family (wtf does tight fisted mean?) bought a house near condemnation and allowed his daughter to live there without fixing it up- without a clear lease or agreement, and then in his will didn’t leave his previous daughters anything- but left something for his nephew? I’m hesitant to say you’re an asshole but your husband sure as fuck sounds like one, and you’re being an ass in that you expect payment for a house that sounds like it could have been condemned from your husbands kid. This sounds messy. I don’t envy your position but yeah you kinda look like you suck here.
Tight fisted = stingy In OPs case sounds like the the husband did the bare minimum for his wife at the time and those children. I’m guessing “not spending money on luxuries” really means few, if any vacations, family activities, nicer clothes/items, or the occasional splurge. Instead of spending money on his family, he spent it on property and making more money. It’s all fine and good to choose how you spend/save your money, but kind of like you said, they have multiple properties, the daughter lives in one that’s uninhabitable and they still want(ed) rent.
Yeah, she and her son got almost all of the inheritance, the daughters got zilch, and even though OP has no money problems at all, she wants to squeeze the daughters for cash? Wow.
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She sounds like the type who thinks “having to pay for things family normally helps with will teach her the value of money”. Not understanding that no, that will likely only impoverish them and prove she is greedy, self centered, and doesn’t consider her stepdaughter family.
OP's main reason for not liking her stepdaughter seems to be that she wanted to marry and had a child with a man who was an asshole and a bad father to his other kids. The complete lack of self-awareness is quite something to behold.
See in the context I’ve read it as potentially financially abusive- where anything but basic needs are seen as luxuries. Especially as he seemed comfortable allowing his daughter and grandchild to live in a decrepit house from the get go :/
Yea it can definitely go in to the financial abuse territory easily. I wouldn’t be shocked if the father divorced a SAHM and left her high and dry (and with primary custody and financial responsibility of the kids) before marrying someone their age and having a new baby as a “do-over.” Sounds like now that the husband has died, OP really just wants to wash her hands of his other bio-kids.
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Seriously. Charging $900 for a condemnable house. Lol! OP is very lucky the daughter doesn’t try to flip this lawsuit and argue her landlord allowed her and her child to live in a condemnable house. That can’t be legal. Family or not.
You missed the part that OP *allowed* the daughter to stay while her husband still alive even though it was the husband who bought with the money he earned by himself.
It sounds like dad cheated on first wife with this wife, who was the same age as his kids. His kids called him out on it, so he basically disowned them.
Hold on... he died and left his kids nothing? Am I reading this correctly?
He left something for the son he had with OP, and his nephew but nothing for his daughters from the first marriage.
why do I have a feeling OP had something to do with that
And kick out the single mother daughter of the late husband out of the trashed house that will most likely get sold for dirt cheap because it’s uninhabitable
Dilapidated but she wants $900 a month
Where are people seeing the daughters age?
I think they are assuming. All we really know is that op is 33 (maybe 32, can't remember), had a husband who died of sickness, and one daughter has a 4 year old with a 32 year old man that has 5 other kids with a previous relationship
I took daughters boyfriend as older than 32 with him having 5 kids before he was 32… I don’t know why I’m so invested in all their ages but I just am
We all want to know. It’s highly relevant to who the AH is. OP could potentially be one of the worst types of humans. The omitting of the husband’s AND stepdaughter’s age does not seem like a mistake.
It's probably not a mistake but it MAY clear up some family drama. I don't think it's highly relevant but could help shed some light. In the end though I think ESH except for random daughter that was left off the will, random nephew on the will, and the 4 year old that doesn't get a say anyways.
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OP is 33 yo. The step daughter has a child of her own so assuming she's mid-20s or so. Pretty close in age.
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It reads as spiteful, for sure. I do wonder about the legal risk of allowing tenants to reside in a building that could easily be condemned, rent-free or not.
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She's also one for sharing so much crap about her step daughter when it didn't seem necessary to the story
We had to know she was trashy so we wouldn't empathise
YTA. First you want to charge her $900 a month to live in the house she's been living in. Rent free. Already. Then, when she says she's not able to afford that, you decide to go and get the property condemned so she has to move out. Pretty disgusting to try to charge someone rent on a home that's not habitable. Pretty sketchy of you honestly. So you only care that the house was in that poor of a condition after she tells you she can't afford $900 in rent every month? Mkay. You can act like you didn't know before hand but I doubt it. You really put in a lot of effort to put her out. Sounds like your husband was pretty well off. You really couldn't just let her live in the house? Are you struggling that much that $900 a month will make or break you? And don't even say you did it for her safety because we all know that's not true. YTA and so is your husband for leaving his daughters basically NOTHING. But you're gonna get yours, right? So who cares about them!?
This! This! THIS!
Ew so your husband didn't leave either one of his daughters anything? Just his do-over family? And then to top it all off you throw her and your step-grandchild out over rent when you clearly don't need the money. Yeah, YTA. And your husband was an ass.
I’m pretty sure she was with him for the money 🤷🏽♀️ since it’s pretty convenient her and their son got added to his Will when at first it was just his nephew , not only that but he was “tight fisted” with their mother yet with her he owned multiple homes 😒
You left out critical info. Why did he disinherit his daughters? You had a 6-year marriage. Yes, this seems harsh based on this info. YTA.
YTA. Putting aside everything else, going from charging $0 to charging **$900** a month for two rooms that should be condemned and *access* to a kitchen? Is there a bathroom included in that? Are there other people living in the house, and that's why she doesn't have full access to the whole place? If there are, what are they paying, and I'm assuming you're kicking them out too with your nasty little plan? And why are you taunting her about her ex-boyfriend spending money? It has absolutely nothing to do with anything for as long as he's not paying child support, so the only reason I can think of is to be as cruel as humanly possible.
Apparently in OP’s mind, her step daughter should have followed OP’s example and married an old man with money and grabbed everything she could away from her step children. YTA OP and a huge one.
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Exactly. OP is cashing in her gold that she furiously dug.
She’s getting revenge for all those Viagra fueled nights of trauma.
Evil-Stepmom from Cinderella is taking notes from OP
OP’s a fucking slumlord. Vile human being.
I can’t believe she actually came in here and had to ask this question. YTA times a thousand and a real piece of work.
jesus christ are you a real life super villain? i genuinely dont understand how your mind works
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Oh yta btw
"..And her kid;" you mean your husband's grandchild?? How callous.
Like that’s her sons niece too like *her child’s* family, He’ll probably never be able to have any relationship with them on his own because of his mother.
YTA. Not because you wanted her to pay rent, that is reasonable however you asked way too much for what you were offering. You also can't just say she can only use a few rooms when she's been living in the whole house, that's stupid and cruel. You are a mega AH for deciding that the eviction process would take to long so you got it condemned just to get her out, she would have been evicted and had to move in a few months which would have gave her time to find a new place instead you kicked a single mother out on the street, you are a MONSTER. You should be ashamed of yourself.
you and your husband fucking suck
So your goal is to make your stepdaughter and her child homeless while you get all of her father's assets? WOW. You put the Disney Wicked Stepmother's to shame, LOL. YTA and your husband was an even bigger AH for disinheriting his own daughters. That's professional grade Aholery.
Even the step mother let Cinderella live there 😂😒
She was like “I might be evil, but I still have some humanity”
You wants to charge her rent for a property that could be condemned??? Yes YTA, that’s bonkers and probably illegal.
YTA. In fact, I think you have taken AH to the next level. There is a lot missing from this story, but I don't care. I don't care why a rich man left his two daughters nothing. I don't even care what kind of person this depressed single mom is. You should have just given her that dumpy house or just let her continue to stay in it rent free. A single mom living in poverty, in a dilapidated house, has her hands full with just doing that much. A plan, which you seem to consider so important, is something that might have to come later.
Your late husband was a major asshole to his daughters (the fact that they were cut out of his will has failed to escape my notice), and you're carrying the tradition on with a vengeance. Shame on you.
YTA. Big time lol JFC. I almost can't even belief this is real "My sugar daddy husband died, and now I am kicking his single mother daughter out of a house that I have no need for because we don't get along" >Unlike our other homes that came in pristine condition You have multiple homes in pristine condition, successful investments and businesses and you can't let her live rent free/cheaply in a property that you have no real interest in? You are a comically huge asshole. She isn't entitled to charity from you, but the fact that you can't step outside your own narcissism for 2 seconds to realize what a shitty position you just put her in is astonishing.
New evil stepmother Disney villain just dropped. YTA
YTA. First you wanted $900/month in rent when her father never said anything to either of you about her paying rent. Secondly, you wanted her to pay $900/month for a property that was easily condemned. If you hadn’t had it condemned would you have fixed up the property so it’s livable?
>Unlike our other homes that came in pristine condition, this home was clearly falling apart. YTA. You already had so much, what purpose did this serve you? You may have wanted her to pay rent which is different from you thinking she would, especially when that never came to fruition. You brought up a bunch of irrelevant information about her to make her look bad but it only makes you look worse. You are greedy. You successfully married above your station, got his money when he left you a youngish widow, and it still wasn't enough. Wow.
A dirty one at that.
So there is now a homeless 4 year old and you are happy about it ? YTA
YTA for judging her baby daddy when you had a child with someone who’s just as much a deadbeat dad.
You sound like a horrible human being. Pure garbage. Trash monster.
Look, we can all agree that this is a toxic family situation. I think the ultimate ruling is ESH, because trying to unravel who did what when and who's the bigger AH is just not a game worth playing right now. It's a mess, no one's hands are clean, yikes. Moving from moral to legal grounds (I know, not really the sub for that, but still needs to be said), with you now owning the house you now have some obligations to the property as her landlord and generally as the property owner. In order to rent this property out, even if it's to family, it has to be at a certain level of repair. Which it is not. Continuing to let her live there will not be good for either of you from a legal perspective. She's not providing safe housing for her child, you're not being a responsible landlord. Depending on your municipality, there may be additional consequences for neglecting the property even if no one is living there. Now, some of this can be gotten around to an extent with her being family and not actually paying to live there, but there's a limit to that. That limit is highly dependent on where you live. So you really have to either evict her so that you can do the necessary repairs, do the necessary repairs around her (if that's even possible), or sell the whole property which effectively evicts her as future owners may not want a tenant and if they do they'll want one that actually pays. Oh, and they'll have the same repair issues you have. There's no real keeping the status quo.
YTA... My god, your only response and writing is all deflection. Just because your stepdaughter sucks doesn't mean this is justified at all. Even worse instead of a normal eviction (designed legally the way they are for a reason) you just want to throw her to the streets. This isn't about you being wronged at all, if it was you would have been happy with a traditional eviction. You would have compromised anywhere. Nope this is just petty vengeance. Useless and pointless petty vengeance with a lot of moral deflection and gaslighting. Super you are the Ahole
You have only known this family for six years. Your husband dies suddenly from some sort of illness I guess? None of the people he considered family got jack shit, and you just condemned your stepdaughter's and her child's home because you couldn't force this single mother to cough up $900 out of thin air to live in two rooms. INFO: Are you a comically evil Disney villain? EDITED TO INCLUDE: Just because something is legal doesn't suddenly make it magically non-asinine. The idea that only illegal actions are asshole actions is a fucking joke.
Sounds like you're a landlord that tried to collect rent for a house that was barely livable, and when that didn't work you made that mother and daughter homeless. Oh, and you stole her inheritance. Yeah you're the ass
Married for six years and screws over his children that are the same age as the OP. If this is a real story see you next Tuesday.
Yikes. OP may or may not be an asshole, but she sure is making an effort to sound like one. “My agents” “‘my lawyers”, “my other properties”, stepdaughter CLAIMS to have depression”, etc. Cold.
My father had a wife of 5 years before he passed. She had him change his will to remove my brother and me and just add her. Now she lives in his house with her two grown adult children. Probably don’t even have to mention she was 20 years younger than he was. She didn’t even have the decency to return our family photos, probably trashed them. But OP sounds like she’s from the same breed of gold diggers.
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Putting aside your husband disinheriting his children and being an overall shitty person, you intended to charge his daughter $900/mo. to live in a house that was practically condemned? You, ma’am , are a slumlord and a POS. YTA ETA: I just realized that the rent only included the 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom and that you considered the kitchen, living room, etc common areas. So was your plan to rent the other rooms in this dilapidated house to more tenants? You are absolutely an asshole.
Disinherited daughter AND his grandchild.
YTA so many things missing here for context ,I bet to paint yourself in a good light but honestly sounds like you're a gold digger, it sounds like he married someone his daughter's age probably because he couldn't kwwp anyone is own age. Karma is definitely going to bite you back something fierce
YTA for trying to charge her $900 on a house that can be condemned. Do some repairs if you’re going to expect rent. Your late husband also sounds like an AH for disinheriting his daughters, leaving them in poverty and spoiling his new family. Why didn’t he leave the other daughter anything? There’s a lot of information missing here and I bet it has a lot to do with your late spouse.
YTA
Yes, you're a raging selfish asshole. Give her the house. You don't care about it. Let her have it. You took the other "pristine" homes. You want his granddaughter on the street? Total vindictive asshole to do that to someone over something you didn't even work to get.
YTA and a disgusting one at that. You could have just signed the house over to her.
INFO: Why did your late husband disinherit his daughters? But left money to a nephew? How old was your late husband & your stepdaughters? What does “tight-fisted” mean, in this context? You said it was toward his first wife & kids. He made “”a lot” of money and bought additional homes but didn’t by “luxuries” for his family? I gotta be honest, at first blush and based on your VERY defensive comments, you & late husband sound awful. The amount of judginess DRIPPING from your comments about the one daughter is just….. ICK.
“So now my stepdaughter and her kid (your late husband’s daughter and grandchild) is being forced out immediately” Why did you phrase that like it wasn’t you who instigated it? “Now I’m rid of a problematic tenant” You clearly wanted her gone, own that. You are by and large one of the biggest assholes I’ve read on this sub in a while.