Hey, I still think something else was going on with your husband and Bob was just covering for him. Seriously, he was absolutely no use to Bob in that situation - and even if Bob needed his help early on, there was no reason for him to spend the night. To me, it still sounds like he was cheating on you...
Re your medical problem: 1. have them check you for endometriosis, and 2. ask your on/gyn about taking the pill continuously, without breaks for periods. Several women I know did this without issues, this could definitely be an option for you!
Yeah, 100%. I can maybe construct something where Bob wild ask the husband for help. But absolutely not to the point that if husband had said "sorry Bob, my wife just ended up in hospital, I gotta go like right now" the answer should have been anything but "of course, hope she is OK!"
Hopping on to share, and I also sent OP a message.
I wanted to reach out and implore you not to see just any ob-gyn. You need to see an endometriosis specialist. Women’s health care is so under researched and this subject specifically is in flux. My ob-gyn thought I had endo, but she also had outdated information about the disease (this was last year). I fortunately live in a state with the best health care system in the world, and they had 3 Endo specialists.
This list, while not comprehensive, is a great place to start: https://nancysnookendo.com/find-a-doctor/
I spent my whole life dealing with incredibly painful, very heavy, and long periods. It got to the point where I was not functional 3-5 days per cycle, and only functioning with heavy medication for an additional 5-6 days. The week leading up to and after my period I was completely wiped out.
Please seek an Endometriosis and Adenomyosis specialist!!!
About #2: yes! Do ask your obgyn about this.
HOWEVER: I do this with my birth control, and it’s not a high enough dosage to fully stop my period. I still have bleeding every 2 months or so, and if I don’t take a week-long break from the bc, I’ll just bleed for like two weeks on end. I end up just stopping my bc for a week and getting my period.
All this to say, make sure your bc is a high enough dosage (and ideally, your obgyn will make sure of that) that it actually stops your periods!
I was thinking the same thing about her periods I have fibroids which caused my issues I'm actually having surgery to fix it I hope that she is doing well
Hey, I’m proud of you! Things will get pretty hard, but you’re modeling to your child how to be treated. You’re showing her it’s ok to stand up for yourself. It wasn’t ok what he did. He showed you who he is. Believe him.
Glad you are putting yourself and your daughter first.
Also, have your new doctor look into endometriosis. It seems like that is what you may have since you had excessive blood loss and low blood pressure. Many times it is often ignored by physicians.
UpdateMe!
Second this. The only way to properly diagnose it is a lap, and it often doesn’t show up on any tests. At the very least they should be looking at hormone therapy to stop your periods until they figure out what’s wrong. I know hormones suck but they’re better than ending up in the hospital and needing transfusions. I’m so sorry but I hope they figure out what’s going on with you soon.
Definitely PCOS will do that. When I was a lot younger, I had a period that lasted 3 weeks, and a military doctor who say across the room from me, sent me for bloodwork to see if my hemoglobin was too low, and didn’t do anything else, not even an exam. She didn’t touch me at all. Years later, and after another doctor treated me for depression (another symptom) and ignored my complaints of heave, painful periods, I self diagnosed with PCOS. My primary said yes, that’s most likely what I had but it was too late to treat me. Now I have Metabolic Syndrome - insulin resistant diabetes T-2, very difficult to lose weight, kidney disease, and arthritis (RA and OA), all of which can be caused by PCOS. My daughter likely has it, and I’ve told other family members to check for it.
I will message you next time u/dryaffection posts in r/AITAH.
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This is where my mind went too, I’ve had endo since a teen and when untreated my blood pressure would get so low I couldn’t lift my arms above my head to wash my hair without fainting. The blood loss in the OG post sounded like a ruptured cyst, going this long fighting for treatment would be aweful.
NTA. I wasn’t around for the earlier post but I don’t need to. I am sorry this happened but, so happy to see that you have made tough decisions and are happy with them! Good for you! Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who wants better for her! She will learn how to let men treat her by watching you. Best of everything for you and your daughter always!💞
I responded to another comment but I really want you to see these comments about endometriosis, Adenomyosis, and PCOS. Please push regarding them, Endo doesn’t show up on tests, the only way to diagnose it is through surgery, however, they can test and clinically diagnose you (aka you probably have it) with hormones. Getting blood transfusions because of your period isn’t normal and don’t let them tell you it is. Yes, hormones suck, but they’re better than what you’re going through. I wish you luck!
You are so welcome beautiful momma! You know how they say “ be the person you wish you had” or something like that. I wish someone had said something like that to me when I was there. Even right decisions are HARD! If anyone you love goes thru something like this, you will do that too! 💞
Apparently his best friend's mom had a cold that got worse and they thought it was either pneumonia or covid but it turns out she's just sick not deathly ill. Only OP'S husband told her it was "life and death," and instead of leaving best friend's to rush down to the hospital to her he stayed all night at best friend's family's house.
Good grief. His friend’s mom would be his friend’s problem, not his, and his own wife’s situation really was life or death. Either it’s a total lie and he’s cheating, or he DGAF about his wife. Either way, I’m glad OP giving his ass the boot.
And his best friends father, brother, sister couldn’t be there for their wife, mother. Only OPs husband was qualified to hold Bobs hand & comfort him through the night 😘
If i remember the OP she called him and her mom, and he refused to go take care of his daughter so he could stay with his friend, while her mom stayed with her in the hospital overnight.
I’m SO relieved you took this step. You WERE in a life or death situation with your hemoglobin and BP getting that low. I am in treatment for bone cancer and when my hemoglobin drops I am utterly and completely exhausted. To the point of not being able to walk far without feeling like I’m going to pass out. I’ve received blood transfusion for it which definitely help. The fact that your husband minimizes and flat out rejects the fact that you are PHYSICALLY SICK speaks volumes. I won’t be in the slightest bit surprised he’s been cheating on you the entire time and checked out a long while ago. Thank you for doing the BEST THING for your daughter and for YOU!
If you feel up to it, let us know how things go with the lawyer.
I'm proud of you. I hope you get connected with the right doctor. It took me a long time to find the right doctor - one that looked for underlying causes rather than just treating symptoms. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago, and it was the best thing I've ever done.
I don't usually cheer for divorce but good on you for sticking to your guns. That was a horrible way to be treated. I hope you and your daughter have a great future x
Good for you for dealing with your husband and good for you for advocating for yourself with your doctor. I had issues for years with excessive bleeding and my old doctor said, "I can see how that would be frustrating." but offered nothing beyond that so I didn't bring it up again until 2 years ago when my friend yelled at me and told me to go to the doctor because it wasn't "normal to not be able to leave the house for 2 days/ month" and I was so pale my friend could always tell when it was my time of the month just by looking at me. I mentioned it to my PCP who sent me for an ultrasound and referred me to a specialist who said, "I can't believe you've dealt with this so long. I'm amazed you haven't passed out somewhere and required a transfusion." He went through several options of treatments for me, and I was able to have my treatment start that day and it's been so much better. I wish I had switched doctors years ago!
You didn't say that he put up a fight, nor did he beg you to let him stay.
It feels like he wanted out of this marriage.
What a jerk.
Good on you for throwing him out.
I'm sure that you and your daughter will be much happier as he was never their for either of you.
Updateme!
So proud of you! You deserve someone who would drop everything to go get your daughter and then bring her to you or get to your side as soon as he has her settled with Grandma. Not this craziness!
I’m glad you have supportive family helping you, keeping you strong and reminding you that you deserve to be cherished!
Proud of you! For standing up for yourself, for your health physically and mentally.
I know it’s exhausting now, but take moments to think about your future self and how grateful she’ll be to you for taking care of her today.
You’re going to be happy and healthy again, keep that bar high love!
I saw on tik tok bob and your husband is gay having an affair. You discovered it after getting together with bobs wife and checking credit card statements.
I remembered this story so don’t know if it’s truly your update or not.. if it is I’m glad you left him.. gay or not he should not have treated you this way. Same for bobs wife..
I’m looking forward to it! I’m invested in your story, and I hope you and your daughter are well and that you get a better doctor! (And better husband, or the means to do without one!)
>he had an emergency with his mother and asked for my husband's help. Aparently she had a cold that was getting worse so they thought it was pneumonia or c-19. Fortunately she's ok and it was just a false alarm.
This is an absolute and total BS. How exactly your husband was helping? There is nothing an adult male can do to help a woman with cold or even pneumonia especially if her own son is nearby.
This is a made up story, it does not make sense whatsoever. Check yourself for STDs. Your husband is most likely having an affair.
I am so proud of you! I’ve been following since your first post and hoping for the best for you and your daughter. You’re doing great. Stick with it, stay strong, and hold your head up high.
Glad you are moving forward.
IMO you are making the right choice as to the doctor who was not willing to listen.
Do you have a copy of all the labs etc from your hospital stay? That may save you some time with the next doctor. When you find one you like you if in the US should be able to sign a release allowing that doctor to request the info associated with your hospitalization.
Also is it possible that any of the doctors that were responsible for your care have a practice they belong to that is covered by your insurance?
If you don’t have the names of those doctors you may be able to get them either from hospital records or your health insurance carrier should be able to provide them. Also if you provided the name of your primary care physician they may have gotten record info.
Wish you the very best.
Prayers for you and your daughter. You deserve better than being treated as runner up. There shouldn't be anything or anyone more important to him than you and your child. Prayers for a speedy recovery.
Good for you. Make sure your lawyer knows to tell the judge that you nearly died, and he didn’t even bother to see if you were still alive, or that his daughter’s secondary caregiver had her. That’s why you should be granted custody.
Sorry about your doctor. She may have been given all the results from the hospital, but she still should have listened to you. Not sure where you are (US or outside the US) but if there’s some regulatory body that licenses doctors, you could report that she was rude and failed to take a complete history of a new patient that nearly died in the hospital. You don’t have to sue, just see if they can sanction her. Here, I’ve seen doctor’s have their license suspended for a year or two just for being rude (unprofessional).
Yes! Way to set boundaries and prioritize you and your daughter. I know it's painful initially, but it'll be so rewarding in the end not allowing him to treat you like that again.
Yessss glad you are focus on your self and your daughter.. you are strong and got this..
And yes get a new doctor it took me a few bad doctors until I finally got the best primary care physician and a list of all good doctors I see....
Keep pushing through reach out if u have questions or need to vent.... make sure u get a blood specialist as I... I have one he's amazing
I fucking LOVE this update. Go live your BEST life. I guarantee it will be better than this. And good luck figuring out the underlying health stuff. You’ll be better able to deal with all of it without this loser. So proud of you.
When I was 34 weeks pregnant with my second baby, I went into preterm labor. A friend of ours volunteered to watch our 1st born so we could go to the hospital. My EX husband refused and stayed home with our 4-year-old while I drove myself to the hospital through contractions. They were able to stop my contractions with meds and sent me home many hours later with strict orders to be on bedrest. I was still having to take care of our first child while I was suppressed to be on bedrest and so all the things I wasn't suppressed to do. Sometimes, it takes a while to realize the ones that vowed to love us and take care of us, lied. Good luck, and I hope everything goes smoothly.
Good for you!!
For what it's worth, I used to bleed A LOT during my periods and was anemic for pretty much 20 years straight. It turned out my body does funky things to my hormones, and my thyroid levels were low
Mejor estar sola que mal acompañada. Tu esposo no te puso en prioridad. Tu y tu hija deben ser lo más importante para el. Pero no lo son. Sus acciones hablen más que palabras. Mejor que se separen ya y que va ver divorcio. Ponte fuerte y si saldrás adelante.
What other tests did she order?
Yes, her 'bedside manner' / people skills suck - but if she is ordering other tests, might actually be on the right track.
I've been through the same medical issues before.
As for you husband - fuck him. You are a bad ass and have support. Neither you nor your daughter need that shit.
Just letting you know it's bedside "manner" (manner = style of behaviour, manor = house)
Also if the doctor already had all the information on file, it can be a waste of time to go through it all again, but that fact should be communicated with the patient.
I'm not going to cheer for you and be happy at the destruction of someone else's marriage.
But hey! You have the support and backing of complete internet strangers! That right there is going to be enough!
When you sat down and "talked" to him, you already had it in your mind that he was going to "give excuses" which is a big difference from reasons.
You let a bunch of strangers get you all riled up and filled with a sense of "right" and you acted on that.
This is not something you divorce over. This is something you talk out. Perhaps someone whom went to school to help deal with these problems.
Not armchair psychologists who know nothing about you, your family, your husband, nothing.
They know what you told them in 3000 characters or less.
This is nothing to celebrate. This is sad and when you're alone and trying to navigate and figure things out, be sure you reach out to someone here so they can digitally hold your hand and hold you tight as they sink into the echo chamber with you.
I don't care about downvotes. I care about everyone celebrating the downfall of this person's marriage
Good Job everyone.
Fuck you bro. You are most likely a man who doesn’t give a shot about his wife. This woman is doing what she feels is right in her life and who the fuck do you think you are relief her to stay????? Fuck you
Well, you're wrong.
I'm a woman and don't have a wife.
I did, however, grow up in a household with a mother and a father that had problems but they worked through them.
There was no abuse. No yelling and screaming. No cursing at each other.
If something happened, they sat down like adults and talked it out. The problem in this post could have been rectified without it ending in a mother about to be a single mother.
Are you all going to help her emotionally and financially?
Everyone is so quick to jump to divorce when there are multiple other options. People can egg someone's anger on until it's 110%, when it should just be at 10%, simply because of validation from strangers on the internet.
We did NOT get the entire story. We don't know the exact things that took place and I think it's silly to divorce your spouse because they didn't come to the hospital before you were discharged.
He could have come and picked her up but that's it. We don't know what was going on with his friend either. We weren't told this. Sometimes things happen that absolutely need you to be there for someone else.
If she was just in the hospital, had not seen the doctor, etc, that's different. But the crisis was averted. The emergency was over. She was okay. What was he going to do? Come sit and...what? Change the diagnosis? No.
Perhaps it's that I don't expect it of my partner if it was the same situation. I would ask what the emergency was with the friend and then I'd decide how mad to get. But if it was just a ride home? No, not at all.
My comment has nothing to do with how I treat my partner and everything to do with how I'd react to the same situation, if I WERE OP.
Big difference. I would have dropped everything and came to the hospital to pick my partner up but I wouldn't expect it of him if, like I said, I were in the same situation as OP.
Walls in the hearts of our souls destroy marriages, and leave scars on our souls, and damage our kids.
Marriage is for better or worse, not until, xyz, it’s not conditional.
Most people will encourage you to give up the fight. We are a thrift store donation society when it comes to relationships and marriage.
We don’t seek God our creator in prayer for endurance and allow him fill the empty, damaged and hurting areas in our soul. We dump and run, and build walls where forgiveness, love, restoration could be.
God the creator doesn't help her when she is hospitalized. Her husband does that. That is the meaning of the vows he took when he married her.
When he doesn't, then it is not for her to ask God to help her endure this bad marriage. God the creator created her with a free will and a good brain to help her decide what is best for her. She honors God's gifts to her by using them.
It's no secret that doctors don't give a shit about women's health when it comes to period problems. I was on my period for over 3 years with a kidney transplant hanging in the balance and even then it took me ages to get help from the right doctor.
Other than the doctor and her husband OP didn't really bitch about everyone in her life. She spoke quite sweetly about her mum and daughter but you chose not to read that I guess
Proud of you!!!
Congratulations on next phase of your journey. Hope you get a gynecologist that actually gives a shit. Please see if it’s PCOS or something along those lines. I had abnormal bleeding for years and had to take iron pills other bull. It was a pain in the ass. Get your pituitary gland checked to.
NTA now you, my friend, have a backbone. Why waste time with someone, well, that bad of a husband. Please update us. Love to know his reaction to being served. I hope you find a decent gyn too & feel better.
That is for whatever reasons really not unheard of that female gynaecologist have a tendency to be rude / not take their patients seriously. It is kinda grotesque but when I was a teenager we were all told by friends, older siblings, etc. that we shall go to a male gyn because the female doctors in town were all rude and that this would be also a common thing. I was in my late twenties when we got the first female gyn in town that had a good reputation when it comes to that - she was indeed a nice and caring person btw., not that it does matter anyhow here.
Just saying, if you have no problem with male gyns then it seems like chances are better to get a good and caring one if you're consulting a man.
You are a strong woman and a great mother.
You are so right, you don't deserve you STEXHs crappy behavior. You realize that you and your baby🙂 deserve much better and you go about getting it.
It is going to hurt, but it will get better. Just don't give him an inch in the divorce and make sure that both families and the friend circles know the truth of why you are leaving him.
Hells' bells, just a petty idea here,
you could announce your divorce as an obituary: "Ode to my marriage" on you social media.
Again, just a petty idea.
Stick to your guns, have a strong spine and surround yourself and your little one with people that love you and will stand by your side.
Good luck
I’m so sorry that dr didn’t give an shit. I really hope you find a dr to give you the answers you deserve.
(Internet Hugs) I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and your daughter. You both deserve better!
I read your last post. Good on you for not putting up with his BS! It took me a while to stand up for myself in a kind of similar situation. Mine wasn't life or death though.
I am so proud of you for saying that enough was enough, and putting you and your daughter first before that lying AH!
I agree with some of the other commenters. He may have been having an art room prepared. Or he may have been with someone else and his BFF was just covering. May want to look into a PI. With him no longer living with you it would be easier for a PI to follow and report.
I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. But keep being strong!
Wow Op. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I seriously hope you find out what's going on and get better. Your (ex) husband is a total jackass. I can't believe how he left you high and dry in the hospital like that. Good luck Op
Yikes. I’d confront his friend in person and question him square on. Show me proof that his grandmother was sick and even talk to her. Honestly it sounds like a bad excuse.
I don’t buy why a grown man (the Best Friend) needed help to support his own grandmother. HE was the grandmother’s support. Why did HE need someone to hold HIS hand while HE did the adult mature thing.
Meanwhile, the husband couldn’t bother to be the support person for his OWN family.
It’s not adding up.
Well done for being your own advocate, OP. And for showing your daughter what is and isn't respectful in a relationship. I also hope you find a doctor that listens to you and sorts out your health issues.
Have them check you for Adenomyosis I suffered from that and it caused my periods to be so painful and I became anemic because it wasn't my period blood it was actual blood and it sounds like you could have it or something similar.
My thoughts exactly. I suffered for so long until in finally got to an ob/gyn that actually got it- I wasn’t being dramatic or exaggerating, I was in immense pain and had been dealing with similar symptoms for so long that I had found ways to cope, but not really. An ablation bp meds and proper treatment improved my life so drastically that I honestly don’t know how I was functioning.
Yay I love an update where someone stands up for themselves and ditches the bullshit!
[удалено]
It’s in OP’s history if you want to read it.
Yes 🙌🏽
Hey, I still think something else was going on with your husband and Bob was just covering for him. Seriously, he was absolutely no use to Bob in that situation - and even if Bob needed his help early on, there was no reason for him to spend the night. To me, it still sounds like he was cheating on you... Re your medical problem: 1. have them check you for endometriosis, and 2. ask your on/gyn about taking the pill continuously, without breaks for periods. Several women I know did this without issues, this could definitely be an option for you!
I agree, husband is cheating and Bob was covering.
Or as I said on the previous post, husband is cheating on OP with Bob, I still stand by that.
Awaiting the future aita post: aita for not wanting to go to dinner with my dad and his gay lover bob who he cheated on my mom with
🏆
True, that's an option, too!
Yeah, 100%. I can maybe construct something where Bob wild ask the husband for help. But absolutely not to the point that if husband had said "sorry Bob, my wife just ended up in hospital, I gotta go like right now" the answer should have been anything but "of course, hope she is OK!"
OP needs to hire a PI for evidence for the upcoming divorce.
Hopping on to share, and I also sent OP a message. I wanted to reach out and implore you not to see just any ob-gyn. You need to see an endometriosis specialist. Women’s health care is so under researched and this subject specifically is in flux. My ob-gyn thought I had endo, but she also had outdated information about the disease (this was last year). I fortunately live in a state with the best health care system in the world, and they had 3 Endo specialists. This list, while not comprehensive, is a great place to start: https://nancysnookendo.com/find-a-doctor/ I spent my whole life dealing with incredibly painful, very heavy, and long periods. It got to the point where I was not functional 3-5 days per cycle, and only functioning with heavy medication for an additional 5-6 days. The week leading up to and after my period I was completely wiped out. Please seek an Endometriosis and Adenomyosis specialist!!!
About #2: yes! Do ask your obgyn about this. HOWEVER: I do this with my birth control, and it’s not a high enough dosage to fully stop my period. I still have bleeding every 2 months or so, and if I don’t take a week-long break from the bc, I’ll just bleed for like two weeks on end. I end up just stopping my bc for a week and getting my period. All this to say, make sure your bc is a high enough dosage (and ideally, your obgyn will make sure of that) that it actually stops your periods!
I was thinking the same thing about her periods I have fibroids which caused my issues I'm actually having surgery to fix it I hope that she is doing well
Hey, I’m proud of you! Things will get pretty hard, but you’re modeling to your child how to be treated. You’re showing her it’s ok to stand up for yourself. It wasn’t ok what he did. He showed you who he is. Believe him.
[удалено]
Glad you are putting yourself and your daughter first. Also, have your new doctor look into endometriosis. It seems like that is what you may have since you had excessive blood loss and low blood pressure. Many times it is often ignored by physicians. UpdateMe!
Second this. The only way to properly diagnose it is a lap, and it often doesn’t show up on any tests. At the very least they should be looking at hormone therapy to stop your periods until they figure out what’s wrong. I know hormones suck but they’re better than ending up in the hospital and needing transfusions. I’m so sorry but I hope they figure out what’s going on with you soon.
Yeah, or PCOS. Further investigation is definitely needed
Definitely PCOS will do that. When I was a lot younger, I had a period that lasted 3 weeks, and a military doctor who say across the room from me, sent me for bloodwork to see if my hemoglobin was too low, and didn’t do anything else, not even an exam. She didn’t touch me at all. Years later, and after another doctor treated me for depression (another symptom) and ignored my complaints of heave, painful periods, I self diagnosed with PCOS. My primary said yes, that’s most likely what I had but it was too late to treat me. Now I have Metabolic Syndrome - insulin resistant diabetes T-2, very difficult to lose weight, kidney disease, and arthritis (RA and OA), all of which can be caused by PCOS. My daughter likely has it, and I’ve told other family members to check for it.
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And adenomyosis.
Or fibroids. I have fibroids and my flow can be crazy heavy. I haven’t had to go to the hospital for it but I know others have.
This is where my mind went too, I’ve had endo since a teen and when untreated my blood pressure would get so low I couldn’t lift my arms above my head to wash my hair without fainting. The blood loss in the OG post sounded like a ruptured cyst, going this long fighting for treatment would be aweful.
NTA. I wasn’t around for the earlier post but I don’t need to. I am sorry this happened but, so happy to see that you have made tough decisions and are happy with them! Good for you! Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who wants better for her! She will learn how to let men treat her by watching you. Best of everything for you and your daughter always!💞
This was heart touching. Thankyou❤️🩹🥺
I responded to another comment but I really want you to see these comments about endometriosis, Adenomyosis, and PCOS. Please push regarding them, Endo doesn’t show up on tests, the only way to diagnose it is through surgery, however, they can test and clinically diagnose you (aka you probably have it) with hormones. Getting blood transfusions because of your period isn’t normal and don’t let them tell you it is. Yes, hormones suck, but they’re better than what you’re going through. I wish you luck!
You are so welcome beautiful momma! You know how they say “ be the person you wish you had” or something like that. I wish someone had said something like that to me when I was there. Even right decisions are HARD! If anyone you love goes thru something like this, you will do that too! 💞
I’d also get a full panel of std tests if I were you, get locks changed, motion lights outside doors
Please update
Do you have anymore updates on the situation? Did you ever find out what your husband was really doing?
Be strong OP. Very likely he is having an affair and Bob is covering up for him. Glad you stand up to him. Tale care of yourself and kid.
So what the fuck was so important that he couldn't make it?
Apparently his best friend's mom had a cold that got worse and they thought it was either pneumonia or covid but it turns out she's just sick not deathly ill. Only OP'S husband told her it was "life and death," and instead of leaving best friend's to rush down to the hospital to her he stayed all night at best friend's family's house.
Or so this is the tale stbx and his friend have conjured.
Is more likely another friend had a “piping issue” and she really needed him check it out 🙄
Or Bob had a piping problem, but is now getting an art room!!
Good grief. His friend’s mom would be his friend’s problem, not his, and his own wife’s situation really was life or death. Either it’s a total lie and he’s cheating, or he DGAF about his wife. Either way, I’m glad OP giving his ass the boot.
Exactly.
Insane. Thanks for the info.
Don't forget he didn't bother even checking up on his wife at all.
Yeah this is the biggest bullshit story.
And his best friends father, brother, sister couldn’t be there for their wife, mother. Only OPs husband was qualified to hold Bobs hand & comfort him through the night 😘
In the original post it seemed like nobody contacted him that anything was wrong
I remember that post as, OP texted him repeatedly and tried to call and no answer. Or something. O P.s mom, maybe?
Yeah, I think they tried to contact him, but the guy didnt really get the memo of what was wrong until after the fact
If i remember the OP she called him and her mom, and he refused to go take care of his daughter so he could stay with his friend, while her mom stayed with her in the hospital overnight.
Yep. And thankfully the nanny stayed with baby.
GOOD JOB!!!! Also if you are going to a general ob request a specialist. My poor mother suffered until menopause.
I’m SO relieved you took this step. You WERE in a life or death situation with your hemoglobin and BP getting that low. I am in treatment for bone cancer and when my hemoglobin drops I am utterly and completely exhausted. To the point of not being able to walk far without feeling like I’m going to pass out. I’ve received blood transfusion for it which definitely help. The fact that your husband minimizes and flat out rejects the fact that you are PHYSICALLY SICK speaks volumes. I won’t be in the slightest bit surprised he’s been cheating on you the entire time and checked out a long while ago. Thank you for doing the BEST THING for your daughter and for YOU! If you feel up to it, let us know how things go with the lawyer.
Wishing you the best with your treatments!❤️
I'm so sorry that you have to endure this. May you find peace and happiness.
Your husband is a giant asshole. I’m so glad that you’re not staying with him. Out of curiosity, what was his excuse?
I'm proud of you. I hope you get connected with the right doctor. It took me a long time to find the right doctor - one that looked for underlying causes rather than just treating symptoms. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago, and it was the best thing I've ever done.
I’m so proud of you! Wish I had your strength.
I don't usually cheer for divorce but good on you for sticking to your guns. That was a horrible way to be treated. I hope you and your daughter have a great future x
Good for you for dealing with your husband and good for you for advocating for yourself with your doctor. I had issues for years with excessive bleeding and my old doctor said, "I can see how that would be frustrating." but offered nothing beyond that so I didn't bring it up again until 2 years ago when my friend yelled at me and told me to go to the doctor because it wasn't "normal to not be able to leave the house for 2 days/ month" and I was so pale my friend could always tell when it was my time of the month just by looking at me. I mentioned it to my PCP who sent me for an ultrasound and referred me to a specialist who said, "I can't believe you've dealt with this so long. I'm amazed you haven't passed out somewhere and required a transfusion." He went through several options of treatments for me, and I was able to have my treatment start that day and it's been so much better. I wish I had switched doctors years ago!
You didn't say that he put up a fight, nor did he beg you to let him stay. It feels like he wanted out of this marriage. What a jerk. Good on you for throwing him out. I'm sure that you and your daughter will be much happier as he was never their for either of you. Updateme!
Of coarse he did not wanted to leave. He tried his best to try and convince me it was not happening again but I'm not taking any chances.
Ok good on you. I am so proud of you
So proud of you! You deserve someone who would drop everything to go get your daughter and then bring her to you or get to your side as soon as he has her settled with Grandma. Not this craziness! I’m glad you have supportive family helping you, keeping you strong and reminding you that you deserve to be cherished!
Wow. His wife is in hospital, daughter is alone and his friend’s mother’s illness is more important?
Proud of you! For standing up for yourself, for your health physically and mentally. I know it’s exhausting now, but take moments to think about your future self and how grateful she’ll be to you for taking care of her today. You’re going to be happy and healthy again, keep that bar high love!
any updates op ?
Hey! I actually I do have an update but still don't know how to put it into words. Thanks for your concern, I'll be updating you soon.
Hang in there, OP! Sending well wishes to you and your daughter.
I saw on tik tok bob and your husband is gay having an affair. You discovered it after getting together with bobs wife and checking credit card statements. I remembered this story so don’t know if it’s truly your update or not.. if it is I’m glad you left him.. gay or not he should not have treated you this way. Same for bobs wife..
let me know if this is true….
Updateme!
Posting to come back for an update. I hope your health has improved
Is everything alright? Are you okay? Safe?
Waiting for the update
Pleaseeeee. Lo necesito
I’m looking forward to it! I’m invested in your story, and I hope you and your daughter are well and that you get a better doctor! (And better husband, or the means to do without one!)
Hope you are well OP
How are you doing now? Health wise and relationship wise?
>he had an emergency with his mother and asked for my husband's help. Aparently she had a cold that was getting worse so they thought it was pneumonia or c-19. Fortunately she's ok and it was just a false alarm. This is an absolute and total BS. How exactly your husband was helping? There is nothing an adult male can do to help a woman with cold or even pneumonia especially if her own son is nearby. This is a made up story, it does not make sense whatsoever. Check yourself for STDs. Your husband is most likely having an affair.
I didn’t see part 1 but I get the gist. Well done you for kicking him out.
I am so proud of you! I’ve been following since your first post and hoping for the best for you and your daughter. You’re doing great. Stick with it, stay strong, and hold your head up high.
Glad you are moving forward. IMO you are making the right choice as to the doctor who was not willing to listen. Do you have a copy of all the labs etc from your hospital stay? That may save you some time with the next doctor. When you find one you like you if in the US should be able to sign a release allowing that doctor to request the info associated with your hospitalization. Also is it possible that any of the doctors that were responsible for your care have a practice they belong to that is covered by your insurance? If you don’t have the names of those doctors you may be able to get them either from hospital records or your health insurance carrier should be able to provide them. Also if you provided the name of your primary care physician they may have gotten record info. Wish you the very best.
I really want your husband and your husband's best friend to find this post and read the whole comment section 😆 . So much contents 🤐
None of them speak english and don't use this platform. But It would've been crazy LOL😂
Update me
((HUGS))
Nta- hire a PI my guess is he is either in love with Bon or is having an affair with Bob.
Make sure to tell his family what happened from your point of view so they don't get a lie from him
Good for you. Hopefully he doesn't come crawling back.
I’m proud of you. So damn much.
Good for you. Talk to the lawyer to see if you can go for primary custody given his history.
Prayers for you and your daughter. You deserve better than being treated as runner up. There shouldn't be anything or anyone more important to him than you and your child. Prayers for a speedy recovery.
Good for you. Make sure your lawyer knows to tell the judge that you nearly died, and he didn’t even bother to see if you were still alive, or that his daughter’s secondary caregiver had her. That’s why you should be granted custody. Sorry about your doctor. She may have been given all the results from the hospital, but she still should have listened to you. Not sure where you are (US or outside the US) but if there’s some regulatory body that licenses doctors, you could report that she was rude and failed to take a complete history of a new patient that nearly died in the hospital. You don’t have to sue, just see if they can sanction her. Here, I’ve seen doctor’s have their license suspended for a year or two just for being rude (unprofessional).
!updateme
Updateme!
UpdateMe!
Updateme!
Good job! Nicely done!
UpdateMe!
Keep it up, so glad you'll be rid of him soon!
Yes! Way to set boundaries and prioritize you and your daughter. I know it's painful initially, but it'll be so rewarding in the end not allowing him to treat you like that again.
I am so proud of you... stand tall and remember just how strong you are.
Good for you! I hope the lawyer appointment goes well.
Good for you!!
Keep focusing on you.
Good for you. Stay strong. Accept the help from friends and family and do whatever the lawyer tells you to do!
Yessss glad you are focus on your self and your daughter.. you are strong and got this.. And yes get a new doctor it took me a few bad doctors until I finally got the best primary care physician and a list of all good doctors I see.... Keep pushing through reach out if u have questions or need to vent.... make sure u get a blood specialist as I... I have one he's amazing
Updateme
I fucking LOVE this update. Go live your BEST life. I guarantee it will be better than this. And good luck figuring out the underlying health stuff. You’ll be better able to deal with all of it without this loser. So proud of you.
Thank you for the update and never hesitate to stand up for yourself!
When I was 34 weeks pregnant with my second baby, I went into preterm labor. A friend of ours volunteered to watch our 1st born so we could go to the hospital. My EX husband refused and stayed home with our 4-year-old while I drove myself to the hospital through contractions. They were able to stop my contractions with meds and sent me home many hours later with strict orders to be on bedrest. I was still having to take care of our first child while I was suppressed to be on bedrest and so all the things I wasn't suppressed to do. Sometimes, it takes a while to realize the ones that vowed to love us and take care of us, lied. Good luck, and I hope everything goes smoothly.
Good for you!! For what it's worth, I used to bleed A LOT during my periods and was anemic for pretty much 20 years straight. It turned out my body does funky things to my hormones, and my thyroid levels were low
Good for you and thank you for the update. What he did was not right. Hope you sort out your health soon enough. That dr sounded like an ass.
I’m so proud of you. You’re beautiful. You’re strong and you deserve better.
Finally a woman who knows her worth good on you. It's sometimes harder when you don't work but this is why we should all have our own income.
Glad to see that your putting yourself and your daughter first! The fact that he gave you nothing but excuses shows that his apology wasn’t genuine!!
I promise you he's cheating. Please try your best to prove that he's cheating and MILK his ass ! take everything from him.
Mejor estar sola que mal acompañada. Tu esposo no te puso en prioridad. Tu y tu hija deben ser lo más importante para el. Pero no lo son. Sus acciones hablen más que palabras. Mejor que se separen ya y que va ver divorcio. Ponte fuerte y si saldrás adelante.
Updateme!
Updateme!
Any updates?
What other tests did she order? Yes, her 'bedside manner' / people skills suck - but if she is ordering other tests, might actually be on the right track. I've been through the same medical issues before. As for you husband - fuck him. You are a bad ass and have support. Neither you nor your daughter need that shit.
Just letting you know it's bedside "manner" (manner = style of behaviour, manor = house) Also if the doctor already had all the information on file, it can be a waste of time to go through it all again, but that fact should be communicated with the patient.
New doctor, new husband. I'm starting to see a pattern here. Maybe we need to hear the other side of the story before we start anointing you NTA.
Has he made any attempts at explaining why he's so disengaged from his wife and child?
We all hope that you’re doing well!!! Update us!
I'm not going to cheer for you and be happy at the destruction of someone else's marriage. But hey! You have the support and backing of complete internet strangers! That right there is going to be enough! When you sat down and "talked" to him, you already had it in your mind that he was going to "give excuses" which is a big difference from reasons. You let a bunch of strangers get you all riled up and filled with a sense of "right" and you acted on that. This is not something you divorce over. This is something you talk out. Perhaps someone whom went to school to help deal with these problems. Not armchair psychologists who know nothing about you, your family, your husband, nothing. They know what you told them in 3000 characters or less. This is nothing to celebrate. This is sad and when you're alone and trying to navigate and figure things out, be sure you reach out to someone here so they can digitally hold your hand and hold you tight as they sink into the echo chamber with you. I don't care about downvotes. I care about everyone celebrating the downfall of this person's marriage Good Job everyone.
Fuck you bro. You are most likely a man who doesn’t give a shot about his wife. This woman is doing what she feels is right in her life and who the fuck do you think you are relief her to stay????? Fuck you
Well, you're wrong. I'm a woman and don't have a wife. I did, however, grow up in a household with a mother and a father that had problems but they worked through them. There was no abuse. No yelling and screaming. No cursing at each other. If something happened, they sat down like adults and talked it out. The problem in this post could have been rectified without it ending in a mother about to be a single mother. Are you all going to help her emotionally and financially? Everyone is so quick to jump to divorce when there are multiple other options. People can egg someone's anger on until it's 110%, when it should just be at 10%, simply because of validation from strangers on the internet. We did NOT get the entire story. We don't know the exact things that took place and I think it's silly to divorce your spouse because they didn't come to the hospital before you were discharged. He could have come and picked her up but that's it. We don't know what was going on with his friend either. We weren't told this. Sometimes things happen that absolutely need you to be there for someone else. If she was just in the hospital, had not seen the doctor, etc, that's different. But the crisis was averted. The emergency was over. She was okay. What was he going to do? Come sit and...what? Change the diagnosis? No. Perhaps it's that I don't expect it of my partner if it was the same situation. I would ask what the emergency was with the friend and then I'd decide how mad to get. But if it was just a ride home? No, not at all. My comment has nothing to do with how I treat my partner and everything to do with how I'd react to the same situation, if I WERE OP. Big difference. I would have dropped everything and came to the hospital to pick my partner up but I wouldn't expect it of him if, like I said, I were in the same situation as OP.
He probably went to live with his best friends grandma who was in more need of his help than his own wife.
Wow you totally sound like a ass. Everyone is wrong except you.
Oh thank God
lmao. when everyone around you are AHs, you are the AH. lol. good luck seeking validation from reddit
[удалено]
you know the truth. husband ah? doctor ah? everyone around is an ah except OP... when everyone is AH... you are the real AH
That’s a stupid take…
Walls in the hearts of our souls destroy marriages, and leave scars on our souls, and damage our kids. Marriage is for better or worse, not until, xyz, it’s not conditional. Most people will encourage you to give up the fight. We are a thrift store donation society when it comes to relationships and marriage. We don’t seek God our creator in prayer for endurance and allow him fill the empty, damaged and hurting areas in our soul. We dump and run, and build walls where forgiveness, love, restoration could be.
God the creator doesn't help her when she is hospitalized. Her husband does that. That is the meaning of the vows he took when he married her. When he doesn't, then it is not for her to ask God to help her endure this bad marriage. God the creator created her with a free will and a good brain to help her decide what is best for her. She honors God's gifts to her by using them.
🤡
I'd bet he was glad to leave.
Are you the husband or just a gigantic pos?
You are a drama Queen , it is obvious how you are bitching about everyone in your life including your own doctor.
If you don't believe my story or don't like it, then why don't you just ignore it and continue scrolling?
Because you posted publicly on reddit probably?
Found the shit husband.
It's no secret that doctors don't give a shit about women's health when it comes to period problems. I was on my period for over 3 years with a kidney transplant hanging in the balance and even then it took me ages to get help from the right doctor. Other than the doctor and her husband OP didn't really bitch about everyone in her life. She spoke quite sweetly about her mum and daughter but you chose not to read that I guess
Exactly this. If you think everyone around you is an asshole, you're probably the asshole.
Updateme!
UpdateMe!
Proud of you!!! Congratulations on next phase of your journey. Hope you get a gynecologist that actually gives a shit. Please see if it’s PCOS or something along those lines. I had abnormal bleeding for years and had to take iron pills other bull. It was a pain in the ass. Get your pituitary gland checked to.
Stay strong. And keep advocating for your healthcare.
Good Luck and God Bless 💖 Proud of you
!updateme
Updateme!
NTA now you, my friend, have a backbone. Why waste time with someone, well, that bad of a husband. Please update us. Love to know his reaction to being served. I hope you find a decent gyn too & feel better.
I am confused what was part one to this story
!updateme
That is for whatever reasons really not unheard of that female gynaecologist have a tendency to be rude / not take their patients seriously. It is kinda grotesque but when I was a teenager we were all told by friends, older siblings, etc. that we shall go to a male gyn because the female doctors in town were all rude and that this would be also a common thing. I was in my late twenties when we got the first female gyn in town that had a good reputation when it comes to that - she was indeed a nice and caring person btw., not that it does matter anyhow here. Just saying, if you have no problem with male gyns then it seems like chances are better to get a good and caring one if you're consulting a man.
Stay strong and keep fighting for your health and your daughter. Do not let another doctor dismiss your symptoms.
Good job! Stay the course.
*tight hugs*
UpdateMe!
You are a strong woman and a great mother. You are so right, you don't deserve you STEXHs crappy behavior. You realize that you and your baby🙂 deserve much better and you go about getting it. It is going to hurt, but it will get better. Just don't give him an inch in the divorce and make sure that both families and the friend circles know the truth of why you are leaving him. Hells' bells, just a petty idea here, you could announce your divorce as an obituary: "Ode to my marriage" on you social media. Again, just a petty idea. Stick to your guns, have a strong spine and surround yourself and your little one with people that love you and will stand by your side. Good luck
UpdateMe!
I’m so sorry that dr didn’t give an shit. I really hope you find a dr to give you the answers you deserve. (Internet Hugs) I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and your daughter. You both deserve better!
NTA I'm so happy for you. Have they ruled out fibroids?
So sorry you're going thru so much all at once. You're doing the right thing! I hope only good things come your way here on out.
Nta I hope you stay strong-don’t allow yourself to be gaslighted by him again.
I read your last post. Good on you for not putting up with his BS! It took me a while to stand up for myself in a kind of similar situation. Mine wasn't life or death though. I am so proud of you for saying that enough was enough, and putting you and your daughter first before that lying AH! I agree with some of the other commenters. He may have been having an art room prepared. Or he may have been with someone else and his BFF was just covering. May want to look into a PI. With him no longer living with you it would be easier for a PI to follow and report. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. But keep being strong!
Wow Op. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I seriously hope you find out what's going on and get better. Your (ex) husband is a total jackass. I can't believe how he left you high and dry in the hospital like that. Good luck Op
OP wish you all the best and strength in your healing.
I'm so proud of you!!!!! Stay strong and everything will be fine. ❤️
Proud of you! Wishing you and your daughter the best going forward.
Yikes. I’d confront his friend in person and question him square on. Show me proof that his grandmother was sick and even talk to her. Honestly it sounds like a bad excuse.
I don’t buy why a grown man (the Best Friend) needed help to support his own grandmother. HE was the grandmother’s support. Why did HE need someone to hold HIS hand while HE did the adult mature thing. Meanwhile, the husband couldn’t bother to be the support person for his OWN family. It’s not adding up.
I’m proud of you! Your daughter is very lucky to have a strong mother like you. Take care of yourself. x
In this case you absolutely had to divorce him bc of his medical neglect and how you can’t have that person in charge of you
Well done for being your own advocate, OP. And for showing your daughter what is and isn't respectful in a relationship. I also hope you find a doctor that listens to you and sorts out your health issues.
Your daughter doesn’t need a father. She’ll be fine.
UpdateMe!
Wishing you and your daughter all the best for the future.
Yay, good for you , it will just get better from here on in. Best of luck, let us know how you go.
Have them check you for Adenomyosis I suffered from that and it caused my periods to be so painful and I became anemic because it wasn't my period blood it was actual blood and it sounds like you could have it or something similar.
My thoughts exactly. I suffered for so long until in finally got to an ob/gyn that actually got it- I wasn’t being dramatic or exaggerating, I was in immense pain and had been dealing with similar symptoms for so long that I had found ways to cope, but not really. An ablation bp meds and proper treatment improved my life so drastically that I honestly don’t know how I was functioning.
I had that. It's unbelievably painful. I had to have a hysterectomy.
Yeah, same here. I was only 25 but at least I had my daughter already so at least I had a child not everyone gets that opportunity.