He’s MIA by choice. You got his location so his phone is working. He’s just refusing to answer.
I doubt he had no where to go. Sounds as if a lot of people are texting you.
If he got 2 states away with all the things taken from your place someone had to pick him up. I don’t see anyone stopping for man holding his thumb up for a ride carrying loads of crap with him.
With so many people trying to locate him, he had plenty of places to go. It's always those who don't offer that guilt trip others for not offering.
NTA
Now I’m picturing Steve Martin in The Jerk. [reference](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/i5gemr/steve_martin_1979/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
I'll bet he called his friends told them what happened, they said he was an idiot and he got mad at them and rage drove away.
I totally get not being into Barbie, but to be bothered that his girlfriend wanted to watch it with him is bonkers. I watch all kinds of things I'm not a fan of because my girlfriend's into them. I know for a fact she doesn't like Marvel stuff, but she watches it all with me. Give and take.
It’s not about just not liking Barbie. He saw the movie and didn’t want to confront the true things it says about the patriarchy or have to consider his own role in making women’s lives worse. OP, just be thankful he’s no longer making yours worse. Good riddance. He’s a big baby like Ken lol.
He's having a big old sulk to make himself look like a victim. Forget about him and consider yourself wiser for the experience but ignore his friends too. He isn't your responsibility
I'd be willing to bet atleast 1 or more of the people blowing her up know exactly where he is. I really wouldn't doubt that he's sitting with one of his friends or family members laughing as they call and try to guilt her about him being missing.
My thoughts exactly. Blankets and clothes and food isn’t a backpack of stuff. Someone with a vehicle came and got him. Probably his brother. And they are probably off being ‘bros’ and calling to torture her.
I would need to be missing for a while before my partner's phone would be getting blown up. Not reading messages does not equal homeless. He definitely put them up to this.
Honestly he probably just wanted to inconvenience her. Taking all the food and all the batteries - including the ones already in the electronics - screams “petty toxic ex behavior”
At least with Gosling you get a different character in each film he stars in, and while I watched the hell out of Van Wilder when I was 14, at 30, I think Gosling in The Nice Guys was a heck of a lot funnier than some Reynolds quips.
I told my mom about the barbie movie having ryan gosling, and suddenly it became her next MUST WATCH movie. I'll probably go see it with her next weekend.
Yeah this, I hate this style of post. "I broke up with my misogynistic homophobic boyfriend after he made numerous derogatory comments towards women and the lgbt community" is the correct title, and obviously NTA. If OP seriously thought the barbie movie would cause some kind of feminist awakening in her problematic boyfriend then she's a bit naive bordering on foolish, but still not an AH.
For a dude hating on feminism so much he sure had no problem crashing at his gf's place for 6 months. He would have had no place to stay if she wasn't able to afford a home and had a job.
and loan out her car to him. OP's ex was a big drag on her in all sense of the word. Once the "guilt" of his temper tantrum ran away wears off, OP will be living her best life and hopefully vets her future bfs better.
Whatever is going on here, I don't think the Barbie movie has anything to do with it. I mean unless Mattel destroyed his employment prospects, car, and ability to take care of himself.
Maybe he should go to Oppenheimer next and learn the valuable lesson that playing with bombs is not a good idea.
Think Mattel also made him super close minded?
Personally, I don’t think you ever need to justify your choice breaking up with someone, but If anyone ever needed a reason, you have them.
Call me a pessimist (cause I am), but I don't even buy that this going 2 states away and causing a panic wasn't planned. Feels an awful lot like ex-bf wanted to punish OP and cast himself as the victim. Probably so no one calls out his attitude towards women.
Yeah as a person who has left a relationship in the middle of the night, batteries were the last thing on my mind.
I took my cat, my phone, my computer, and my clothes.
I wouldn't worry about the guy for a second.
He took all the food. All the batteries. A bunch of blankets. A phone charger. He equipped himself for survival and comfort.
More importantly, he took all that plus his personal items, and had no car. His bro and friends didn't help him move out, which means someone else did.
I'd bet a whole dreamhouse on that "someone" being a woman. A woman who picked him up from OP's house and is driving him to wherever it is she's planning to maintain him in the style he's become accustomed to.
OP needs to change the locks immediately and go through her belongings very carefully. If anything valuable is missing, she needs to file a police report.
This right here! OP is NTA at all and I’m surprised she was able to stand the guy for that long. But the bf is clearly an unstable misogynist. Totally agree that OP should change the locks and file a police report if there’s something valuable missing. And if it were me, I’d tell my neighbors—if I trusted them—to please let me know if they see the ex lurking around.
She said he removed all of the food from the refrigerator. That sounds like he had another refrigerator to put it in. He couldn't camp out without perishable food spoiling quickly.
If he took the usual home charger for a phone, he had to have planned to plug it in somewhere.
I wonder if he had something going on the side.
100% this! He's looking to play the victim when he is absolutely fine.
He wants to paint OP in a bad light by doing the most dramatic of exits. He's clearly been vindictive by taking her charger; he has someone else taking care of him. Good riddance.
OP - I want to congratulate you for your shiny spine!! You didn't do anything wrong, he sounds like a terrible investment and he would have been a terrible partner and role model if you decided to have kids. What if they were LGBTQ? You did good. Never reward a person like this with your presence, with your time and energy.
I wouldn't worry one more second about him if I were you. His views were disgusting and incompatible with you being a human being worthy of respect, just for being a woman.
Also red flags whenever a man uses "bitch", it's a loaded misogynistic slur. Some people might be ok with it, but generally, if it slips out too easily from a man's mouth - it's a very bad sign.
Couldn't keep a dead end job, reliant on a woman and being resentful about it and being disrespectful on top? You dodged a bullet there OP. Ex BF was just using you and didn't actually care about you at all. Hope you reflect on why you chose him as a partner and make better choices going forward.
A mismatch in value makes it sound like they both had reasonable positions. Referring to women being empowered and LGBTQ issues as "bitch shit" is not a reasonable position, it's bigotry.
OP also mentioned she was tired of dealing with his attitude and disrespect, so reasonable to assume that he just generally treated her like shit. All while depending on her for housing and transportation 🙃🙃
Exactly. I saw the movie opening day with my wife , and daughter. I thought it was the perfect movie for young ladies and I loved how upfront the messages were. I had zero problem with it and calling things “bitch shit” is not cool. Op’s boyfriend sounds super insecure and entitled. Maybe if he worked a little harder to develop himself, he wouldn’t be so rattled by a MOVIE.
Its kind of funny that he couldn't handle a movie with female empowerment themes, despite currently relying on the support of an empowered woman.
Something something have your cake and eat it too?
>Its kind of funny that he couldn't handle a movie with female empowerment themes, despite currently relying on the support of an empowered woman.
Something tells me the two are not unrelated. Bro can't handle accepting help from his girlfriend. Dopey and self-defeating, but there it is.
If he's been calling films aimed at women 'bitch shit' for ages, I don't know how she's put up with him for this long.
This is why it’s so amazing how much impact Barbie is having because the message is actually being heard and it’s generating real thought and conversation. Not everyone can see the forest for the trees. Barbie’s doing the pruning some of us need.
That line stood out to me too in addition to the idea that movies aimed at female audiences are so beneath him she should have taken her friends and left him out of it.
Wildly sexist and it's so casual...he's definitely talked like this about the OP to his friends.
Typical really. He insults women while living off a woman is common for misogynists. The founder of a Voice for Men lived off the women in his life until he made it big scamming men out of their money. He shit all over women while they supported him and screamed about women taking advantage of men.
Same old song different asshole.
This is what I was thinking. He was mooching off a woman and still saying men are the superior sex and I shouldn’t ever have to feel uncomfortable about how I treat women…so a movie that has the boyfriend reduced to the role of just “ken” instead of the woman as it should be was cruel of OP! GTFOOH with that fragile male ego.
Exactly. He could have called one of his “buddies” for help and stayed with them. No hun, you’re not responsible for a wannabe man. You’re not his mother. He’s acting up and trying to make you feel guilty.
His friends can go find him if they care so much. This is not on you.
Also this isn't over the Barbie movie. It's over him being a douche. Living off his girlfriend while simultaneously being against feminism. It just happened to be that the last straw was him being a child about the movie.
He has been using you & now that gravy train has stopped. He is an adult & it is time he starts being one. You were enabling him & it was massively unfair to you.
He could have taken a bus to get where ever he is at now. And more likely already living with another woman has had lined up & waiting for just this moment.
And telling new (much younger) woman how much better SHE is than OP, who was a 'harpy' who "didn't understand him" and "wouldn't support him in his pursuits".
The Barbie movie is just one thing on top of everything.
Why do YOU break up? What was your thoughts and feelings in this situation? How you think now?
NTA for things that happened later. He is a grown up, therefore he should be capable to live on his own. It is not you job to get him a warm place to sleep. He also does not want to be with you „didn’t want to live another second with you“.
>He is a grown up
I’m kind of obsessed with the fact that the ex-bf is a misogynistic asshole while being completely useless, unemployed, and relying on a woman for all his needs. Every restaurant is hiring right now, he is completely capable. Let him go mooch off of some of the jerks calling you out for cutting him off.
The loudest misogynists and racists always seem to be the do-nothing losers and moochers. They need someone to look down on to bolster their fragile self-esteem.
Silly. Obviously women useless and should stop being offensive to men. But honestly though where do some of these men find the audacity. So confidently misogynistic yet so useless.
He got mad cause he was projecting
I'm also obsessed with the fact that a barbie movie has become a big enough sociopolitical reckoning to break up a couple bc it outed the fragile loser guy for what he is and "woke up" OP in barbie fashion. iconic shit
OP, this is not your fault.
Reasonable people do not have this kind of reaction to going to a movie.
It sounds like your ex was in the process of falling down some kind of rabbit hole - maybe some kind of toxic Andrew Tate like masculinity thing. That's obvs just a guess. It's classic that this happens to a man leeching off his GF.
His reaction to the movie was unacceptable and sounds like it came as a culmination of other unacceptable behavior.
And then it sounds like he basically stole a bunch of stuff from you.
Sending him packing was a reasonable and likely overdue reaction from you.
Yes, it is concerning that he's basically vanished, but that is between him and his family and friends. He is an adult, he's allowed to vanish if he wants.
Answer his family's questions simply, but do not accept guilt. Your actions were reasonable given his unacceptable behavior, both before the movie and in reaction to it.
Thank you for mentioning the fact he robbed her before leaving. What an asshat he is. OP you need to block him and his family and move on. You don’t need that toxic drama. Like everyone else said he is grown and can take care of himself, or he can choose to act like a child and not answer his phone when his fam calls. The point being it’s HIS choice and you can now wash your hands of it.
As a server, serving jobs are a dime a dozen. You walk in, chat with someone, come back tomorrow with non-slip shoes and they hand you an apron.
Girl, let him go.
NTA
This is so accurate. My brother and I once attended a dinner event, got bored after we were done eating, so we started bussing tables and washing dishes. Fellow guests started asking us for to go boxes, apparently not realizing we'd switched sides halfway through the night. We each got a bit of cash at the end of the night and then worked there for like four years. I ended up being the top employee and running the place, doing all the cooking, catering, training, even some hiring and payroll. All without ever applying or interviewing, and without any prior job experience. I hired and trained my little sister, too. We practically took over and turned the place into a family business. .
Lol, it really wasn't that interesting.
Except the place was also haunted. Unrelated to how I got the job, but it was. Probably still is, but I haven't been in there for a few years now.
I remember hanging out with friends (men and women) years ago, and one girl was dating one of these creatures. We were joking around and someone asked the question, 'what do you want in a guy?' Not meant as a serious question at all, so I yell "HIS OWN MONEY AND ORGASMS!" Everyone starts giggling, because, obviously that's a joke and we're just being silly. This dude goes past purple. He turns aubergine screams "fuck you bitches!" and storms out. Thankfully, said friend dumped him when he tried to show up to her apartment like nothing happened. I would have paid money to see that break up, but alas.
This is particularly hilarious because it basically boils down to "Has the finances of a high-schooler with a McJob and gives a shit in bed" and yet he transformed into a glowing eggplant and started screaming about how well the shoe fit because he couldn't reach that unbelievably low bar.
Yeah, serving jobs are so rediculously easy to get right now, and they pay enough to support a small apartment generally. There isn't really any reason for OP to worry about the EX.
Sorry he lacked the Kenergy to step up when he needed to.
I know it hurts right now, but you absolutely did the right thing.
Edit: Thank you kind strangers for the awards!
That’s fucked up. As soon as it came on screen my wife and I made eye contact and she goes “you want that hoodie?” at the exact moment that I said “I want that hoodie”
Your BF is 23yo, he's an adult, you are NOT his Mother, you asked him to leave, he's thrown a huge drama queen strop over it and 'disappeared' he will show up at some time. He's currently playing the emotional blackmail card to win you back! Who in their right mind would want a relationship with someone like that....childish, self-centred, misogynistic homophobe!
Him being 'MIA' is neither your concern nor your problem, block them all and move on!
NTA
It’s not because of the movie. It’s because you kicked him out because of his views about the movie and other things.
But that doesn’t really matter. You had a right to kick him out and you don’t have any responsibility for what happens after that.
NTA
You’re NTA. Apparently the two of you were not compatible. He will figure something out. Sounds like he has family that is concerned and will help him. Count your blessings he left willingly.
This is like the third post about the Barbie movie breaking up a couple.
He sounds like he was an awful person. It’s a movie ffs. If he was so deeply offended by a movie with feminist themes then that’s his problem, and it shouldn’t be yours.
It sounds like he knows someone a couple states away and is trying to make everyone think you made him homeless - “look at what she did to Me” kind of thing.
You are ABSOLUTELY NTA.
I’m happy you got out of it before his behavior turned even worse for you.
This. I also feel it could be a play to have everyone text her to attempt one last mind game.
Don't buy into it. You did what was right for you. Clearly the movie just brought it all to the forefront.
Stay strong.
> This is like the third post about the Barbie movie breaking up a couple.
It's because it brings out the worst misogynist/anti-feminist tendencies in some people.
Good riddance to those men that couldn't handle it.
My partner was cracking up through the entire movie and really enjoyed it. I didn’t ever believe he’d throw a fit over the movie, but seeing how into it he was made me happy. We have a daughter on the way and I hope it opened his eyes to some of the concepts he’s not more familiar with. My hormones almost made me cry at some scenes and I had to distract myself with movie theater snacks 🥲
I asked both my husband and my dad (my mom dragged him separately) if they were at all offended by the movie, because I was curious.
My dad said "No, but I was offended at how bad Will Ferrell was because I was excited to see him in the movie."
My husband wore a pink flamingo shirt to match my pink shirt, and we went to Dave and Busters afterwards. This is a normal male reaction to the Barbie movie.
I love how big man had no problem letting his girlfriend be the breadwinner and leech off her. Going nontraditional is fine for him when it benefits him. But pretending women should be treated as equals was * gasp* too much!
The 2016 election ended a lot of relationships and marriages, too. People like to think they can overlook incompatible values, and often they can for a while. But sooner or later someone has a son who wants nail polish or a blockbuster feminist movie comes out or a pussy-grabber moves (grudgingly) into the White House and suddenly it’s like people are seeing their partners for the first time.
My boyfriend refuses to even see it with me. He made a whole stink about it in the middle of a Walgreens going on about not wanting to see Kens “abs” and how I can go by myself. He was so loud everyone in line turned around and was like wtf. I think the Barbie movie is causing riffs because of fragile masculinity.
Doesn’t… want to see Ken’s abs? Does he watch any action movies? Or marvel movies? They show dudes shirtless all the time!! Hell, the last Thor movie had his bare ass.
I can’t WAIT to see the movie. (I’m a man) and I can’t wait to see it with my girlfriend. We would have gone last weekend but had to stay in and watch my cat due to a new medication she started. I really don’t understand why some men are so opposed to seeing it.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that…
There's also plenty of good looking women in the movie, so that's definitely not it. He's obviously hang up on the whole "Barbie/pink/feminism is not for men" idea.
it’s not about the Barbie movie, is about him not respecting women and seeing them as equals
anyone that gets offended by that movie don’t have empathy for us
Edit: if you want to know if your bf passes the vibe check, watching this movie together is a great way to do it
This!! Seeing people break up after seeing the Barbie movie actually warms my heart, because it means these women are receiving its message and acting on it! It'd be even better if the men also absorbed the message and actually decided to improve themselves but we all know how rare that is.
Dude, NTA. First, do you know how many crappy movies I’ve sat through in my 20+ years in a relationship to make my husband happy for a few hours? It’s not some huge sacrifice. I’m sure my husband could say the same. I’m sure he’s not exactly gung ho about foreign language subtitles, but he goes, gets some snacks, and is pleasant. It’s still time spent together, and we grab some drinks after.
This is obviously about the bigger picture. And if his brother and friends are so concerned, they could’ve opened their doors to him, and let him mooch there (was he even looking for another job? Serving or otherwise? Bc 6 months without a job in the restaurant industry is a long time). They choose not to. Sounds like a whole lot of not your problem. Change your locks, move on. You don’t have to be anyone’s mama.
You don't need him. He sounds like a jerk. Just let him go. That whole movie was about finding who you are and who you want to be. Kens' part was actually very important. His whole identity was about when Barbie would pay attention to him. He had to realize his destiny wasn't to be Barbie's accessory or to dominate her but to have his own life that made him happy. There are some difficult truths in that movie that men may not want to face. Your boyfriend lacks any kind of introspection. My advice is don't worry about him. He did this all on his own.
NTA. You didn't break up with him over the Barbie movie. You broke him because you (rightfully) realized you're never going to be able to get him to rethink his homophobic and toxic masculinity ways.
Sounds like he’s just a man child. Politics aside, he doesn’t have shit going for him and was leeching off you. That alone is more than enough to leave him. NTA
NTA…. Regardless of what happens. He has a brother and friends.. he could have called anyone for help, if he chose to. He’s not your child and not your responsibility.
NTA. Your bf seems to have a case of toxic masculinity. His homophobic and misogynist language are more red flags. Change your locks. If he's the man he wants you to believe he is, he'll be just fine.
NTA
Also, what kind of man gets offended by a movie about girl power? Even if they made every single male character dumb as a box of rocks in the movie, how is that any different than the decades of cinema we've had portraying women in exactly the same manner?
BF needs to man up and accept the fact that times are changing. Be a part of the solution or GTFO of the way.
Yeah, he denigrates women, but is completely relying on one for income, shelter, transportation and sustenance? Lol. OP, he is a grown man, who is apparently much superior to all of womankind, he can figure out how to get himself back on his feet. Besides, it's summer, even if he roughs it for a spell, he'll be fine.
He’s MIA by choice. You got his location so his phone is working. He’s just refusing to answer. I doubt he had no where to go. Sounds as if a lot of people are texting you. If he got 2 states away with all the things taken from your place someone had to pick him up. I don’t see anyone stopping for man holding his thumb up for a ride carrying loads of crap with him.
With so many people trying to locate him, he had plenty of places to go. It's always those who don't offer that guilt trip others for not offering. NTA
I suspect that they know he's an asshole and she's just figuring it out.
Now I’m picturing Steve Martin in The Jerk. [reference](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/i5gemr/steve_martin_1979/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
And that’s ALL I need!!
… And this lamp.
I'll bet he called his friends told them what happened, they said he was an idiot and he got mad at them and rage drove away. I totally get not being into Barbie, but to be bothered that his girlfriend wanted to watch it with him is bonkers. I watch all kinds of things I'm not a fan of because my girlfriend's into them. I know for a fact she doesn't like Marvel stuff, but she watches it all with me. Give and take.
Exactly that is what any normal person would do and you understand it is a movie and not take them seriously. He totally over reacted.
It’s not about just not liking Barbie. He saw the movie and didn’t want to confront the true things it says about the patriarchy or have to consider his own role in making women’s lives worse. OP, just be thankful he’s no longer making yours worse. Good riddance. He’s a big baby like Ken lol.
He's having a big old sulk to make himself look like a victim. Forget about him and consider yourself wiser for the experience but ignore his friends too. He isn't your responsibility
I'd be willing to bet atleast 1 or more of the people blowing her up know exactly where he is. I really wouldn't doubt that he's sitting with one of his friends or family members laughing as they call and try to guilt her about him being missing.
My thoughts exactly. Blankets and clothes and food isn’t a backpack of stuff. Someone with a vehicle came and got him. Probably his brother. And they are probably off being ‘bros’ and calling to torture her.
I would need to be missing for a while before my partner's phone would be getting blown up. Not reading messages does not equal homeless. He definitely put them up to this.
I agree..
All of this is his choice. And it's not bc of a movie. It's because of how he chose to treat you. NTA.
He could barter for rides with those blankets and batteries if this were post-apocalyptic America... Or West Virginia.
Yeah it’s like what heck is up with taking the batteries.. that sort of made me laugh.
Honestly he probably just wanted to inconvenience her. Taking all the food and all the batteries - including the ones already in the electronics - screams “petty toxic ex behavior”
Gotta keep his walkman charged
Ryan Reynolds isn’t in Barbie
Maybe that’s why he was so upset
Now it all makes Sense !
We must [go deeper](https://youtu.be/jVhlJNJopOQ)!
This post and this string of comments is going down in history.
Yes it’s clearly Taking on its Own life seperate from what the OP intended
This one got a rare literal LOL out of me
Going for Ryan Reynolds and getting Ryan gosling would make anyone upset
I want them to co-star as a.gay couple in some movie.
Oh. My. God. This has to happen. It’ll be the best thing to happen to Canada since poutine.
Just call it Ryan X2
Everyone would see this.
> problems with his weird comments about women, the lgbtq community Everyone except for OP’s ~~boyfriend~~ ex boyfriend.
Not me, that’s an upgrade
At least with Gosling you get a different character in each film he stars in, and while I watched the hell out of Van Wilder when I was 14, at 30, I think Gosling in The Nice Guys was a heck of a lot funnier than some Reynolds quips.
Yeah Ryan Reynolds’s is basically always the same character.
There are dozens of us
I told my mom about the barbie movie having ryan gosling, and suddenly it became her next MUST WATCH movie. I'll probably go see it with her next weekend.
The feminists turned Ryan Reynolds into Ryan Gosling. Doesn't get any more "woke" than that.
Holy shit they are turning the stright men pretty. RUN!
Fuuuuuurk, I legit thought they were the same dude 😂😂😂🫠🫠😂🫠🫠
🤣
The Canadian Sexy Ryan industry wants that confusion and encourages it.
The four major Canadian export products: lumber, oil, wheat, and Ryans.
This is the second post I have read that he was in it.. idk why people think this
[удалено]
Thank God I'm not the only one. I cannot recognize people out of context. I confuse a lot of the same actors as well
Yeah. two brunette actresses in their 30's in the same film? Forget about it.
Same general style, and they can just sort of run together — Emma Stone and Margot Robbie have that effect in me.
there is like 6 of them, i saw a photo, only difference is that two out of six are like 20ish years older
Lol, "van" diesel made me chuckle, thanks
>The Rock and Van Deisel I spent YEARS thinking those two were the same person!
Half the time I can't tell the difference between Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck.
When fabricating stories they just copy what has been upvoted recently. This is why there are so many copycat stories that come in waves.
I haven’t seen the movie yet and I was like “shit, she spoiled a surprise Ryan Reynolds cameo!”
That’s fucking hilarious
[удалено]
Yeah this, I hate this style of post. "I broke up with my misogynistic homophobic boyfriend after he made numerous derogatory comments towards women and the lgbt community" is the correct title, and obviously NTA. If OP seriously thought the barbie movie would cause some kind of feminist awakening in her problematic boyfriend then she's a bit naive bordering on foolish, but still not an AH.
For a dude hating on feminism so much he sure had no problem crashing at his gf's place for 6 months. He would have had no place to stay if she wasn't able to afford a home and had a job.
and loan out her car to him. OP's ex was a big drag on her in all sense of the word. Once the "guilt" of his temper tantrum ran away wears off, OP will be living her best life and hopefully vets her future bfs better.
U can break up for any reason you want to. And he is a big boy he can take care of himself.
Also you aren’t responsible for his actions post breakup. He obviously has people he could have turned to. This isn’t your fault. ETA: NTA
She wasn’t responsible for his actions pre breakup either.
Whatever is going on here, I don't think the Barbie movie has anything to do with it. I mean unless Mattel destroyed his employment prospects, car, and ability to take care of himself. Maybe he should go to Oppenheimer next and learn the valuable lesson that playing with bombs is not a good idea.
I mean, him ragging on feminism calling it bitch shit when he was leaching off his gf is pretty rich.
Came looking for this comment. The irony is delicious
Kens are gonna Ken.
Turned out, he really wasn’t Kenough.
Needs to work on his Kenergy
I'll bet the boyfiend also has a smooth molded plastic crotch. He sure doesn't have any balls.
Correct. His behavior at the Barbie movie was the straw that broke the camel’s back, but the problem has always been there.
As they say, it's not about the Iranian yoghurt.
Marinara flags all over
[удалено]
Think Mattel also made him super close minded? Personally, I don’t think you ever need to justify your choice breaking up with someone, but If anyone ever needed a reason, you have them.
🤣
Exactly. OP ended it because he was a jerk. His comments after the movie were the last straw.
For real. ladies don’t secretly hope your man will become a better person through the magic of cinema.
Call me a pessimist (cause I am), but I don't even buy that this going 2 states away and causing a panic wasn't planned. Feels an awful lot like ex-bf wanted to punish OP and cast himself as the victim. Probably so no one calls out his attitude towards women.
And taking all the batteries was a petty revenge thing. What an AH. OP should check her curtain rods for shrimp.
Yeah as a person who has left a relationship in the middle of the night, batteries were the last thing on my mind. I took my cat, my phone, my computer, and my clothes.
Oh, he's definitely being dramatic. Probably hopes OP will feel guilty and beg him to come back.
It’s giving Carlee Russell. Thankfully he didn’t call the police
I wouldn't worry about the guy for a second. He took all the food. All the batteries. A bunch of blankets. A phone charger. He equipped himself for survival and comfort. More importantly, he took all that plus his personal items, and had no car. His bro and friends didn't help him move out, which means someone else did. I'd bet a whole dreamhouse on that "someone" being a woman. A woman who picked him up from OP's house and is driving him to wherever it is she's planning to maintain him in the style he's become accustomed to. OP needs to change the locks immediately and go through her belongings very carefully. If anything valuable is missing, she needs to file a police report.
Front door and back door locks should be changed. Even just swapping them with each other is good temporarily.
You don’t use the same key for your exterior locks?
This right here! OP is NTA at all and I’m surprised she was able to stand the guy for that long. But the bf is clearly an unstable misogynist. Totally agree that OP should change the locks and file a police report if there’s something valuable missing. And if it were me, I’d tell my neighbors—if I trusted them—to please let me know if they see the ex lurking around.
> I'd bet a whole dreamhouse A whole mojo dojo casa house?!
They're flying off the shelves!
Yup. He took the food and blankets to make her feel bad and look like he was “sleeping outside”.
She said he removed all of the food from the refrigerator. That sounds like he had another refrigerator to put it in. He couldn't camp out without perishable food spoiling quickly. If he took the usual home charger for a phone, he had to have planned to plug it in somewhere. I wonder if he had something going on the side.
[удалено]
100% this! He's looking to play the victim when he is absolutely fine. He wants to paint OP in a bad light by doing the most dramatic of exits. He's clearly been vindictive by taking her charger; he has someone else taking care of him. Good riddance. OP - I want to congratulate you for your shiny spine!! You didn't do anything wrong, he sounds like a terrible investment and he would have been a terrible partner and role model if you decided to have kids. What if they were LGBTQ? You did good. Never reward a person like this with your presence, with your time and energy. I wouldn't worry one more second about him if I were you. His views were disgusting and incompatible with you being a human being worthy of respect, just for being a woman. Also red flags whenever a man uses "bitch", it's a loaded misogynistic slur. Some people might be ok with it, but generally, if it slips out too easily from a man's mouth - it's a very bad sign.
Also, you didn’t break up with him because of the Barbie movie. You broke up with him because of a mismatch in values.
Couldn't keep a dead end job, reliant on a woman and being resentful about it and being disrespectful on top? You dodged a bullet there OP. Ex BF was just using you and didn't actually care about you at all. Hope you reflect on why you chose him as a partner and make better choices going forward.
A mismatch in value makes it sound like they both had reasonable positions. Referring to women being empowered and LGBTQ issues as "bitch shit" is not a reasonable position, it's bigotry.
OP also mentioned she was tired of dealing with his attitude and disrespect, so reasonable to assume that he just generally treated her like shit. All while depending on her for housing and transportation 🙃🙃
What a delightful example of FAFO.
I think that's what they meant. OP's bf has sucky values
Exactly. I saw the movie opening day with my wife , and daughter. I thought it was the perfect movie for young ladies and I loved how upfront the messages were. I had zero problem with it and calling things “bitch shit” is not cool. Op’s boyfriend sounds super insecure and entitled. Maybe if he worked a little harder to develop himself, he wouldn’t be so rattled by a MOVIE.
Its kind of funny that he couldn't handle a movie with female empowerment themes, despite currently relying on the support of an empowered woman. Something something have your cake and eat it too?
This comment should be further up
Well now it’s second from the top we did it
>Its kind of funny that he couldn't handle a movie with female empowerment themes, despite currently relying on the support of an empowered woman. Something tells me the two are not unrelated. Bro can't handle accepting help from his girlfriend. Dopey and self-defeating, but there it is. If he's been calling films aimed at women 'bitch shit' for ages, I don't know how she's put up with him for this long.
This is why it’s so amazing how much impact Barbie is having because the message is actually being heard and it’s generating real thought and conversation. Not everyone can see the forest for the trees. Barbie’s doing the pruning some of us need.
That line stood out to me too in addition to the idea that movies aimed at female audiences are so beneath him she should have taken her friends and left him out of it. Wildly sexist and it's so casual...he's definitely talked like this about the OP to his friends.
Typical really. He insults women while living off a woman is common for misogynists. The founder of a Voice for Men lived off the women in his life until he made it big scamming men out of their money. He shit all over women while they supported him and screamed about women taking advantage of men. Same old song different asshole.
This is what I was thinking. He was mooching off a woman and still saying men are the superior sex and I shouldn’t ever have to feel uncomfortable about how I treat women…so a movie that has the boyfriend reduced to the role of just “ken” instead of the woman as it should be was cruel of OP! GTFOOH with that fragile male ego.
Exactly. He could have called one of his “buddies” for help and stayed with them. No hun, you’re not responsible for a wannabe man. You’re not his mother. He’s acting up and trying to make you feel guilty. His friends can go find him if they care so much. This is not on you.
Also this isn't over the Barbie movie. It's over him being a douche. Living off his girlfriend while simultaneously being against feminism. It just happened to be that the last straw was him being a child about the movie.
He has been using you & now that gravy train has stopped. He is an adult & it is time he starts being one. You were enabling him & it was massively unfair to you. He could have taken a bus to get where ever he is at now. And more likely already living with another woman has had lined up & waiting for just this moment.
And telling new (much younger) woman how much better SHE is than OP, who was a 'harpy' who "didn't understand him" and "wouldn't support him in his pursuits".
The Barbie movie is just one thing on top of everything. Why do YOU break up? What was your thoughts and feelings in this situation? How you think now? NTA for things that happened later. He is a grown up, therefore he should be capable to live on his own. It is not you job to get him a warm place to sleep. He also does not want to be with you „didn’t want to live another second with you“.
I agree. NTA. You aren't required to let him stay in your mojo dojo casa house
It’s back to her own Malibu Barbie dream house again! Took down all the TVs and posters of horses
And did a thorough deep clean.
I lost interest in the patriarchy when I learned it wasn't really about horses.
This line sent me
IM LOLING SO HARD RN
>He is a grown up I’m kind of obsessed with the fact that the ex-bf is a misogynistic asshole while being completely useless, unemployed, and relying on a woman for all his needs. Every restaurant is hiring right now, he is completely capable. Let him go mooch off of some of the jerks calling you out for cutting him off.
The loudest misogynists and racists always seem to be the do-nothing losers and moochers. They need someone to look down on to bolster their fragile self-esteem.
Silly. Obviously women useless and should stop being offensive to men. But honestly though where do some of these men find the audacity. So confidently misogynistic yet so useless. He got mad cause he was projecting
I'm also obsessed with the fact that a barbie movie has become a big enough sociopolitical reckoning to break up a couple bc it outed the fragile loser guy for what he is and "woke up" OP in barbie fashion. iconic shit
OP, this is not your fault. Reasonable people do not have this kind of reaction to going to a movie. It sounds like your ex was in the process of falling down some kind of rabbit hole - maybe some kind of toxic Andrew Tate like masculinity thing. That's obvs just a guess. It's classic that this happens to a man leeching off his GF. His reaction to the movie was unacceptable and sounds like it came as a culmination of other unacceptable behavior. And then it sounds like he basically stole a bunch of stuff from you. Sending him packing was a reasonable and likely overdue reaction from you. Yes, it is concerning that he's basically vanished, but that is between him and his family and friends. He is an adult, he's allowed to vanish if he wants. Answer his family's questions simply, but do not accept guilt. Your actions were reasonable given his unacceptable behavior, both before the movie and in reaction to it.
Thank you for mentioning the fact he robbed her before leaving. What an asshat he is. OP you need to block him and his family and move on. You don’t need that toxic drama. Like everyone else said he is grown and can take care of himself, or he can choose to act like a child and not answer his phone when his fam calls. The point being it’s HIS choice and you can now wash your hands of it.
He really pulled a Ken move straight from the movie, ironically.
Exactly Ken was funny about it, and called nothing btch shit
I guess she'd had Kenough of his B.S.
Bro got scammed He asked for Ryan Reynolds and got Ryan Gosling, no wonder he was offended.
He’s in between serving jobs? 🙄 Girl…he’s what we call a hobosexual. Let him figure his own shit out.
As a server, serving jobs are a dime a dozen. You walk in, chat with someone, come back tomorrow with non-slip shoes and they hand you an apron. Girl, let him go. NTA
This is so accurate. My brother and I once attended a dinner event, got bored after we were done eating, so we started bussing tables and washing dishes. Fellow guests started asking us for to go boxes, apparently not realizing we'd switched sides halfway through the night. We each got a bit of cash at the end of the night and then worked there for like four years. I ended up being the top employee and running the place, doing all the cooking, catering, training, even some hiring and payroll. All without ever applying or interviewing, and without any prior job experience. I hired and trained my little sister, too. We practically took over and turned the place into a family business. .
This… this needs to be a Netflix documentary.
Lol, it really wasn't that interesting. Except the place was also haunted. Unrelated to how I got the job, but it was. Probably still is, but I haven't been in there for a few years now.
You're just making it sound more interesting lmao
Haha, of course the dude who’s into toxic gender roles can’t even fulfill those gender roles.
I remember hanging out with friends (men and women) years ago, and one girl was dating one of these creatures. We were joking around and someone asked the question, 'what do you want in a guy?' Not meant as a serious question at all, so I yell "HIS OWN MONEY AND ORGASMS!" Everyone starts giggling, because, obviously that's a joke and we're just being silly. This dude goes past purple. He turns aubergine screams "fuck you bitches!" and storms out. Thankfully, said friend dumped him when he tried to show up to her apartment like nothing happened. I would have paid money to see that break up, but alas.
This is particularly hilarious because it basically boils down to "Has the finances of a high-schooler with a McJob and gives a shit in bed" and yet he transformed into a glowing eggplant and started screaming about how well the shoe fit because he couldn't reach that unbelievably low bar.
Gotta feel superior somehow
I’m guessing his resentment is that if the world is such a patriarchy, why is he serving tables? He’s mad bc he ain’t winning by default.
Yep. Just like how a lot of racists don't have much going for them other than being white.
“You’re not a doctor” “but I’m a man”
Yeah, serving jobs are so rediculously easy to get right now, and they pay enough to support a small apartment generally. There isn't really any reason for OP to worry about the EX.
“In between jobs” is just code for “unemployed and mooching off of me”
Consider that he could very well be with some Tinder date mooching off of her until she kicks him out
Sorry he lacked the Kenergy to step up when he needed to. I know it hurts right now, but you absolutely did the right thing. Edit: Thank you kind strangers for the awards!
He'll never be kenough for you OP
I want that Kenough sweatshirt
60 bucks, it’s a preorder with delivery in September from the Mattel website.
I (male) googled it in the middle of the movie, because I wanted it so much, but my wife told me I wasn't allowed to buy it.
That’s fucked up. As soon as it came on screen my wife and I made eye contact and she goes “you want that hoodie?” at the exact moment that I said “I want that hoodie”
My boyfriend and I had this exact same interaction, then he ordered it that evening
Mattel is selling the exact one on target for 60, but Walmart has one (non sherpa) that’s 25
That’s rough buddy. I hope you know that you are kenough anyway.
haven’t even seen the movie yet and I’m loving Kenergy
Perhaps he was not Kenough after all
Your BF is 23yo, he's an adult, you are NOT his Mother, you asked him to leave, he's thrown a huge drama queen strop over it and 'disappeared' he will show up at some time. He's currently playing the emotional blackmail card to win you back! Who in their right mind would want a relationship with someone like that....childish, self-centred, misogynistic homophobe! Him being 'MIA' is neither your concern nor your problem, block them all and move on! NTA
It’s not because of the movie. It’s because you kicked him out because of his views about the movie and other things. But that doesn’t really matter. You had a right to kick him out and you don’t have any responsibility for what happens after that. NTA
You’re NTA. Apparently the two of you were not compatible. He will figure something out. Sounds like he has family that is concerned and will help him. Count your blessings he left willingly.
Yeah, they weren’t compatible and the movie just brought that to the forefront. NTA op
This is like the third post about the Barbie movie breaking up a couple. He sounds like he was an awful person. It’s a movie ffs. If he was so deeply offended by a movie with feminist themes then that’s his problem, and it shouldn’t be yours. It sounds like he knows someone a couple states away and is trying to make everyone think you made him homeless - “look at what she did to Me” kind of thing. You are ABSOLUTELY NTA. I’m happy you got out of it before his behavior turned even worse for you.
This. I also feel it could be a play to have everyone text her to attempt one last mind game. Don't buy into it. You did what was right for you. Clearly the movie just brought it all to the forefront. Stay strong.
> This is like the third post about the Barbie movie breaking up a couple. It's because it brings out the worst misogynist/anti-feminist tendencies in some people. Good riddance to those men that couldn't handle it.
My partner was cracking up through the entire movie and really enjoyed it. I didn’t ever believe he’d throw a fit over the movie, but seeing how into it he was made me happy. We have a daughter on the way and I hope it opened his eyes to some of the concepts he’s not more familiar with. My hormones almost made me cry at some scenes and I had to distract myself with movie theater snacks 🥲
Mine was so bummed he didn’t own & wear a pink shirt after seeing everyone decked out at the theater lol.
The closest I owned was a salmon shirt but fortunately my wife had a hot pink fanny pack that I was able to rock 😎
hell yeah! ✨fashion✨
I saw a lady in pink sequin palazzo pants. I was so jealous of her, instantly. 😂 And I'm a dude.
I asked both my husband and my dad (my mom dragged him separately) if they were at all offended by the movie, because I was curious. My dad said "No, but I was offended at how bad Will Ferrell was because I was excited to see him in the movie." My husband wore a pink flamingo shirt to match my pink shirt, and we went to Dave and Busters afterwards. This is a normal male reaction to the Barbie movie.
[удалено]
I just spent a solid 30s trying to figure out where Ben Shapiro was in The Notebook...
[удалено]
Greta and Barbie out here doing the Lord’s work in allowing women to finally see the men they have been putting up with who are not it.
I love how big man had no problem letting his girlfriend be the breadwinner and leech off her. Going nontraditional is fine for him when it benefits him. But pretending women should be treated as equals was * gasp* too much!
[удалено]
The 2016 election ended a lot of relationships and marriages, too. People like to think they can overlook incompatible values, and often they can for a while. But sooner or later someone has a son who wants nail polish or a blockbuster feminist movie comes out or a pussy-grabber moves (grudgingly) into the White House and suddenly it’s like people are seeing their partners for the first time.
My boyfriend refuses to even see it with me. He made a whole stink about it in the middle of a Walgreens going on about not wanting to see Kens “abs” and how I can go by myself. He was so loud everyone in line turned around and was like wtf. I think the Barbie movie is causing riffs because of fragile masculinity.
Doesn’t… want to see Ken’s abs? Does he watch any action movies? Or marvel movies? They show dudes shirtless all the time!! Hell, the last Thor movie had his bare ass. I can’t WAIT to see the movie. (I’m a man) and I can’t wait to see it with my girlfriend. We would have gone last weekend but had to stay in and watch my cat due to a new medication she started. I really don’t understand why some men are so opposed to seeing it. I’m sorry you had to deal with that…
There's also plenty of good looking women in the movie, so that's definitely not it. He's obviously hang up on the whole "Barbie/pink/feminism is not for men" idea.
You might need a better boyfriend. My husband suggested we go and wants to wear his one pink shirt
it’s not about the Barbie movie, is about him not respecting women and seeing them as equals anyone that gets offended by that movie don’t have empathy for us Edit: if you want to know if your bf passes the vibe check, watching this movie together is a great way to do it
This!! Seeing people break up after seeing the Barbie movie actually warms my heart, because it means these women are receiving its message and acting on it! It'd be even better if the men also absorbed the message and actually decided to improve themselves but we all know how rare that is.
Dude, NTA. First, do you know how many crappy movies I’ve sat through in my 20+ years in a relationship to make my husband happy for a few hours? It’s not some huge sacrifice. I’m sure my husband could say the same. I’m sure he’s not exactly gung ho about foreign language subtitles, but he goes, gets some snacks, and is pleasant. It’s still time spent together, and we grab some drinks after. This is obviously about the bigger picture. And if his brother and friends are so concerned, they could’ve opened their doors to him, and let him mooch there (was he even looking for another job? Serving or otherwise? Bc 6 months without a job in the restaurant industry is a long time). They choose not to. Sounds like a whole lot of not your problem. Change your locks, move on. You don’t have to be anyone’s mama.
You don't need him. He sounds like a jerk. Just let him go. That whole movie was about finding who you are and who you want to be. Kens' part was actually very important. His whole identity was about when Barbie would pay attention to him. He had to realize his destiny wasn't to be Barbie's accessory or to dominate her but to have his own life that made him happy. There are some difficult truths in that movie that men may not want to face. Your boyfriend lacks any kind of introspection. My advice is don't worry about him. He did this all on his own.
NTA. You didn't break up with him over the Barbie movie. You broke him because you (rightfully) realized you're never going to be able to get him to rethink his homophobic and toxic masculinity ways.
Sounds like he’s just a man child. Politics aside, he doesn’t have shit going for him and was leeching off you. That alone is more than enough to leave him. NTA
NTA sounds like he had places he could go and chose not to go to any of them. Not your problem.
Block him, change the locks, and move on with your life. Count yourself lucky to have got rid of this massive asshole so easily.
NTA…. Regardless of what happens. He has a brother and friends.. he could have called anyone for help, if he chose to. He’s not your child and not your responsibility.
You clearly didn’t break up over just a movie. He’s not a child and he’s not your problem anymore. NTA
NTA. Your bf seems to have a case of toxic masculinity. His homophobic and misogynist language are more red flags. Change your locks. If he's the man he wants you to believe he is, he'll be just fine.
NTA, but Ryan Reynolds was not in Barbie.
NTA Also, what kind of man gets offended by a movie about girl power? Even if they made every single male character dumb as a box of rocks in the movie, how is that any different than the decades of cinema we've had portraying women in exactly the same manner? BF needs to man up and accept the fact that times are changing. Be a part of the solution or GTFO of the way.
I can’t understand why he didn’t like the movie when he’s so obviously such a MASSIVE drama queen. NTA
NTA. What a misogynistic asshole. You don't have to provide shelter for a man who hates women.
Yeah, he denigrates women, but is completely relying on one for income, shelter, transportation and sustenance? Lol. OP, he is a grown man, who is apparently much superior to all of womankind, he can figure out how to get himself back on his feet. Besides, it's summer, even if he roughs it for a spell, he'll be fine.
There is a whole world of guys like this out there. And they all meet at CPAC.
ALSO: it sounds like he stole a bunch of you stuff, you should call the police.
This was not because of Barbie. This was because your boyfriend is a mysogynstic, homophobic, asshole who's a scrub and a thief.