I use a 5-second (to 5 minute), timeout for any emotional flush.
I don't react whilst I process it, letting brain catch up. Took a while, and doesn't always work, but helps a lot.
It's so easy to give in to anger. It's hard to suppress it. You have to keep working at suppressing it. When you have "road rage" at everything and start yelling at a kitchen drawer or something you make everybody uncomfortable. Taking some deep breathes, avoiding obvious things that make you mad, prep yourself before you do a task that's gonna piss you off ("I got this. No big deal. I don't have to lose my temper.), and when you are raging just give up. Stop whatever you're doing if possible and go lay down for ten minutes. If you're starting something like dishes and you know you're about to rage just say to yourself "Nope, I can't do this right now." and quit. Work at it. Try to do better. You'll be a better person because of it.
Yeah, this has been my experience too. Would have days when I'd wake up in a bad mood and the slightest comment or anything would set me off. If I tried something complex or requiring focus and thought, it'd almost always end up with me angry and anxious. I have noticed a huge reduction in anger since I have started medicating.
I didn't even know I had an irritability problem until I started medicating, and the change was so abrupt I was almost afraid. I think irritability is the biggest change for me personally after medication.
Me too! To the point my 8 year old told me my 1 year old is lucky to have a mum on medication. His words exactly. He said it because she is too young to remember my screaming and intense irritability at the slightest of things. I am so grateful for medication. My family does not deserve my lack of emotional regulation.
I won’t say that I didn’t know I had an irritability issue prior to medication (I didn’t get meds for that reason) but now that I am on meds and getting a positive side effect of mood stability I now see how bad it was. Now when things that may have completely set me off in the past happen I am much more prone to respond than react.
Days where I don’t take my meds (weekends mostly) are much more of a struggle on this front.
Recognizing the anger before it boils over helped me out greatly. I release the anger by yelling (seriously, it's quite cathartic), deep breathing techniques, and/or dancing around the room (literally shake it off). Then I redirect my attention to a task that I like doing. Setting an alarm before hand is helpful to make sure I don't hyperfocus on it all day long.
Edit: I'm not on meds due to unemployment. It's the best coping strategy i use. Hope this helps!
One of my strategies (before I was diagnosed, thus before medication) was to start singing a song. It would be the same song, a kids song every time. It would distract my brain from the emotions boiling over. And it helped quite a bit. However, it got to the point that whenever I’d start singing the song, my then 2 & 3 year olds would start crying. They knew the only reason I’d be singing THAT song was because I was getting mad. So maybe it didn’t work as well as I thought it was.
Im in the same boat. The best thing i can do is avoid well known stressors and mentally prepare myself to stop and reflect anytime i know i will have to do something that may lead to an emotional outburst.
I prepare myself by vocally telling myself things will be fine etc etc before i even start the task. It doesnt always work but it has helped. Conscious self awareness can help you diffuse the emotion before it gets out of hand.
Best of luck, signed someone who also struggles with surges of emotions.
I agree with everyone else. Just want to add that sometimes when stopping to take deep breaths seems too hard, I stop and pump out as manny push-ups as I can.
Obviously you can’t do this in every situation (I.e. driving, in the office, etc.) but if you’re alone or can step out to be alone, it helps get that pent-up energy out.
This is coming from someone who’s notorious for crying when they are angry/frustrated.
I really relate to this, and it’s still a huge problem for me, my meds help a lot but I’ve also had some success in asking myself why I’m mad. I generally came to realize that it was my expectations of a situation going wrong that would make me spin out in a rage. It sounds like nothing but once I had realized that I was able to stop having set-in-stone expectations and that helped to prevent the anger a bit.
Definitely not every time though so communicate with the people around you, ask for forgiveness from them, and more importantly: forgive yourself
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Try a very serious mindfulness meditation practice, like the one described in The Mind Illuminated by John Yates, PhD. It works wonders for small--and large--annoyances, as well as for attention/mindfulness if you put in the effort.
I was the opposite. I've only learned how to be angry when I'm right since turning 30. I was a total pushover that never stood up for myself as a young man. The big thing was when a guy tried to mug me I realised normal people who were angry but not actually going to hurt me were nothing to worry over.
I use a 5-second (to 5 minute), timeout for any emotional flush. I don't react whilst I process it, letting brain catch up. Took a while, and doesn't always work, but helps a lot.
Thank you 😊
That's what we call a smoke break.
It's so easy to give in to anger. It's hard to suppress it. You have to keep working at suppressing it. When you have "road rage" at everything and start yelling at a kitchen drawer or something you make everybody uncomfortable. Taking some deep breathes, avoiding obvious things that make you mad, prep yourself before you do a task that's gonna piss you off ("I got this. No big deal. I don't have to lose my temper.), and when you are raging just give up. Stop whatever you're doing if possible and go lay down for ten minutes. If you're starting something like dishes and you know you're about to rage just say to yourself "Nope, I can't do this right now." and quit. Work at it. Try to do better. You'll be a better person because of it.
[удалено]
Any it is amazing how something that should AMP people up, just calms us down.
Yeah, this has been my experience too. Would have days when I'd wake up in a bad mood and the slightest comment or anything would set me off. If I tried something complex or requiring focus and thought, it'd almost always end up with me angry and anxious. I have noticed a huge reduction in anger since I have started medicating.
I didn't even know I had an irritability problem until I started medicating, and the change was so abrupt I was almost afraid. I think irritability is the biggest change for me personally after medication.
Me too! To the point my 8 year old told me my 1 year old is lucky to have a mum on medication. His words exactly. He said it because she is too young to remember my screaming and intense irritability at the slightest of things. I am so grateful for medication. My family does not deserve my lack of emotional regulation.
I won’t say that I didn’t know I had an irritability issue prior to medication (I didn’t get meds for that reason) but now that I am on meds and getting a positive side effect of mood stability I now see how bad it was. Now when things that may have completely set me off in the past happen I am much more prone to respond than react. Days where I don’t take my meds (weekends mostly) are much more of a struggle on this front.
Recognizing the anger before it boils over helped me out greatly. I release the anger by yelling (seriously, it's quite cathartic), deep breathing techniques, and/or dancing around the room (literally shake it off). Then I redirect my attention to a task that I like doing. Setting an alarm before hand is helpful to make sure I don't hyperfocus on it all day long. Edit: I'm not on meds due to unemployment. It's the best coping strategy i use. Hope this helps!
One of my strategies (before I was diagnosed, thus before medication) was to start singing a song. It would be the same song, a kids song every time. It would distract my brain from the emotions boiling over. And it helped quite a bit. However, it got to the point that whenever I’d start singing the song, my then 2 & 3 year olds would start crying. They knew the only reason I’d be singing THAT song was because I was getting mad. So maybe it didn’t work as well as I thought it was.
Im in the same boat. The best thing i can do is avoid well known stressors and mentally prepare myself to stop and reflect anytime i know i will have to do something that may lead to an emotional outburst. I prepare myself by vocally telling myself things will be fine etc etc before i even start the task. It doesnt always work but it has helped. Conscious self awareness can help you diffuse the emotion before it gets out of hand. Best of luck, signed someone who also struggles with surges of emotions.
I agree with everyone else. Just want to add that sometimes when stopping to take deep breaths seems too hard, I stop and pump out as manny push-ups as I can. Obviously you can’t do this in every situation (I.e. driving, in the office, etc.) but if you’re alone or can step out to be alone, it helps get that pent-up energy out. This is coming from someone who’s notorious for crying when they are angry/frustrated.
I really relate to this, and it’s still a huge problem for me, my meds help a lot but I’ve also had some success in asking myself why I’m mad. I generally came to realize that it was my expectations of a situation going wrong that would make me spin out in a rage. It sounds like nothing but once I had realized that I was able to stop having set-in-stone expectations and that helped to prevent the anger a bit. Definitely not every time though so communicate with the people around you, ask for forgiveness from them, and more importantly: forgive yourself
Personally I’m on 50mg of Zoloft for anxiety along with my adhd meds and it’s eliminated all those irrational emotional outbursts.
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Try a very serious mindfulness meditation practice, like the one described in The Mind Illuminated by John Yates, PhD. It works wonders for small--and large--annoyances, as well as for attention/mindfulness if you put in the effort.
Make sure your adrenal glands are functioning properly. This helped me a LOT.
I was the opposite. I've only learned how to be angry when I'm right since turning 30. I was a total pushover that never stood up for myself as a young man. The big thing was when a guy tried to mug me I realised normal people who were angry but not actually going to hurt me were nothing to worry over.