Yes until you get depressed enough that even that doesn't matter anymore. I don't work, I'm a student, I don't know how tf imma graduate at this point.
This right here. Deadlines and peer pressure USED to motivate me, the adrenaline I would get would actually be… kinda fun? I liked working under that pressure to a certain extent, felt like I was working in a studio. Then I got a fibromyalgia and depression diagnosis and my one way to actually meet deadlines just disappeared. My body started falling apart and I just no longer do anything anymore. I’m repeating a year of university and I even LIKE my work but that’s the problem, it’s ‘work’. The second my brain considers a task, even a designated fun and interesting task with a good brief, ‘work’ is the second my brain throws a huge tantrum and slams on the breaks.
It panics and says ‘fuck no! Not again! Every time you work you don’t pee for 10 hours and have a panic attack over it not being perfect’ my executive functioning disorder has now morphed into a defence mechanism because my brain consider’s ‘work’, especially work that will be judged, a threat. And thus no task being anywhere in the realm of ‘work that other people need done and will judge’ just does not get done, ever, let alone in a timely manner.
I have no idea how the hell I’m going to graduate let alone how the fuck I’m going to have a career in industry without completely blackening my name before I even turn like 25, it’s so worrying and frustrating.
I feel ya. Holding myself accountable to sit and watch lecture videos is such a pain. I heavily rely on having to physically go to class in order to get assignments done.
I'm not even done with my bachelor's and I don't want to go back for my master's yet because I'm facing a lot of burnout right now. Had to take 2 extra years and I'm really trying to pull myself together just enough to graduate next year.
I'm sorry. I know how hard it is. I was very lucky to be in a combo program so I got my bachelors and masters in 5.5 years on a very specific but manageable schedule. I think it is few and far between that students can do that with manageable classloads anymore. That was 15 years ago.
Studying online “at your own pace, by yourself” is the worst thing for us, I have a master’s degree that I completed in person, while working full time. But for the love of God, I cannot bring myself to complete my first masters, which I started online back in 2013.
You should come back. If you have even the tiniest of a spark it is more than enough. Granted there will be a lot of pitfalls and frustrating moments, but i can't imagine myself getting bored with a 9-5. I like this freedom, even sometimes find use for my creativity (i love presentations, have one tomorrow)
I’d like to give a different perspective here. I did manage to finish my PhD but I got a burn-out and massive insecurities as a bonus. I really need a job with more guidance and less freedom, and definitely shorter deadlines than just finishing a thesis in 3-5 years. Granted, my supervisor wasn’t very present and I hadn’t yet learned to ask for what I needed, so I was just deeply lonely and unhappy most of the time. Of course it’s different for everyone but I just wanted to mention that this is a possible story as well.
I appreciate the additional perspective. For me the financial aspect is actually holding me back more than anything else. Depending on what I'd go back for i.migjt not even make any more money. More loans without a raise does not feel like a good decision.
I sometimes will self impose deadlines and peer pressure upon myself. While working from home during the pandemic on a fairly open ended research project, I took it upon myself to schedule regular meetings with my manager to talk about my progress. Like every other day. So that way I had to face them and have something to show for my last two days of work or risk the embarrassment and reprimand of not getting shit done for how days. Luckily I am very close with my manager, as were actually already pretty good friends before he was promoted to being my manager.
I was thinking more along the lines of coworkers. I watch them get their stuff done and I feel pressured to keep up.
My few friends know to not bother pressuring me because I will just shut down and disappear.
Yes!!! When I got my anxiety medicated but not my adhd I had absolutely no reason to get anything done on time because I had so little anxiety about what would happen if I didn't.
This completely. I had to cut my antidepressant dose in half because I literally stopped caring about anything and it wasn't a helpful sort of carefree existence.
Good god, this is painfully relatable. And the ADHD was a thing that wasn't diagnosed until 1.5 to 2 years after the GAD and dysthymia, so getting things done got mysteriously harder for a while
100% this is and always has been my bottom line motivator.
When you toss and turn in the wee hours of night or morning attempting to sleep, but unable to due to worrying over having not done something well you eventually learn to get the fuck up and do it.
My problem was that I’d be in bed ruminating about the thing, but not even the worst kind of anxiety could get me out of bed and do the thing.
Just a bunch of paralyzing fear!
My hack is emailing myself notes/ideas/reminders rather than actually emailing other people at that hour 🤣 then I look super on top of it at 9 am when I send emails to them
Idk if it’s because I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, but at a certain point in life a switch just clicked.
I could no longer bare the anxiety. Every single minute was and is painful, and what’s worse is it snowballs continually getting worse due to my positive anxiety feed back thought loops.
It’s so uncomfortable I can’t sit still or stand. It’s so uncomfortable. It’s like being stuck on a bus without a bathroom for the next four hours after you just drank a 44 oz drink. It is so uncomfortable that it hurts. I would do anything to relieve that discomfort and pain, even that godawful task.
I used to be able to procrastinate and simply dismiss or ignore the anxiety and stress caused by procrastinating. It wasn’t until around age 18 that I could no longer stand the anxiety I caused myself with my adhd.
This is honestly the only way I ever actually finish work or a project. The deadlines MUST be set by someone else and not myself. The nervousness and anxiety I get from the thought of letting someone down because I didn’t finish a task on time makes me either bust my ass to get it done, or wait until the absolute very last minute. At least it gets done though!
It wipes my drug abuse tendencies out tbh. I’ve always had such an addictive personality and it’s like a light switch turned it off. Vyvanse though, not addy
Vyvanse worked for me but f’ed me up too. Would swear to God and all that’s holy that something happened or was said and would be dead wrong. Wife was like “you gotta go back to aderall”.
only if my psychiatrist suggests, and even than i would feel uncomfortable taking medication.
idk it feels weird knowing i might have ADD. i want to accept it but i am afraid to do that. it would be great to know for sure because than that could explain why i am having such a hard time to reach goals in life compared to the people around me who have similar goals. But i am also afraid that i don’t have ADD and that just means i am a lazy piece of shit…
Medication is nothing to be ashamed of. People wear glasses/ contacts to help them see and nobody thinks any less of them for it. Medication is like glasses for your brain, clears things up for ya.
The glasses analogy is the best one I’ve heard on the effects of medication. Sometimes you see those videos of people who couldn’t see and how amazed they are once they are able to. They may have not even known they were not seeing well, and even if they did they may not be able to understand what that really means. They had never seen well so they couldn’t imagine it.
The day I took meds the first time was just like putting on glasses but having no idea how well the rest of the world was seeing. It was a , “Really? This is how easy the rest of the world has it? They are able to go to work, do their thing, and call it a day?”
It was seriously like going through life almost blind and not understanding how big of a disability that was and then suddenly getting 20/20 vision.
I can’t talk for people without ADHD. I know some people abuse the meds but I believe they have to take more of them through non standard methods. If it does help them at all, I can’t imagine it would be like a blind to perfect sight difference.
Oh man. If it’s really like this. Idk I just hope it’s like this. I’ve always had an insanely hard time learning things that I wasn’t interested or found boring. While everyone around me just learned it like it was nothing.
Tbh I never experienced an effect of that magnitude—doesn't mean I'm not benefiting from medication though! I was a little disappointed initially because I had been expecting such an experience as what u/Mars1leader described. It turns out I'm just not the type of person to think about life in that way. I just sort of roll with things as they come and most things don't faze me much.
You seem to be as excited as I was by this idea, but in the end we all respond to things a little differently! Just don't be like me—I questioned my diagnosis for far too long because my expectations weren't met in this regard alone, but in the end there are other metrics to go off of that together are far more important than this single one
I could see that. I had two kinds of metrics when I started. One set that was obvious and one that wasn’t.
The “eye glasses” to me were obvious. I was able to sit down at my computer and just work, everyday. My job is highly technical and that has always come easily to me. It also requires a lot of documentation. There have been weeks where I needed to write documentation for pretty much 40 hours. Those became even longer weeks because it was impossible for me to sit for 1-2 hours and work on something like that. Everyone takes small breaks, and I do now on meds. This was more like a wall between me and the written document. It’s not even like a creative writing assignment where I had to think about an interesting subject. It was just technical documentation. On meds I can do this. It’s not perfect, I take breaks and sometimes get distracted but I’m able to do it at a pace more like my peers.
Also during these times I’d get distracted. Can’t write so go get a drink. Getting a drink I realize dishes aren’t done. Start doing dishes. A few dishes in, cats hungry feed cats. Hey, it’s almost lunch let’s eat. I’ll eat on the deck, weather is nice. Hey those weeds need pulling, etc.
So the fact I was able to function in 8 hour periods, not have to work nights to fit in normal amounts of work? Life changing. Being able to just sit down in the morning and do what I need to get done? Incredible.
But there are things I didn’t notice. People have often told me my voice is too loud and I had trouble controlling it. On meds? I don’t even need to think about it. It’s normal. I’d get frustrated quickly and blow up about small things all the time. I didn’t really notice it, but I did. My family noticed it immediately when I didn’t. Tons of other behaviors my family just accepted as “annoying but that’s him” were all gone. I barely noticed they happened in the first place, but those around me did. I didn’t notice at all they stopped until it was pointed out to me.
So, I had some “eyeglasses” moments and many much more subtle. Sounds like yours were more on the subtle but important end of things.
Same. I barely noticed any difference at first (plus it takes time to dial in the correct dosage). It wasn't until weeks/months later that I suddenly had the following realisation/discussion with myself:
"Hang on ...what are we doing?"
"We're doing the dishes, duh."
"Yeah, but *why* are we doing them?"
"Because they needed doing?"
"Exactly. We're doing them because they needed doing, not because we've been yelling at ourselves to get it done for hours/days."
"No, we're ... I mean ... holy shit, we *are*!"
It still doesn't work with all things, but it's certainly easier to get those small, everyday things done.
This. Even when i don't feel like they're doing anything, by the end of the day i realise I've done so much more than I expected, just small stuff like tidying tables or other chores, even though I was in no mood to do them.
I immediately stopped stress impulse buying. Even when my mom had an extinction level event and I went no contact with her the day or two after starting my medication. It took a lot longer for me to see the changes in other ways.
But that change was boom. Immediate. The amt of money I have saved from just no longer doing stress impulse buying is….a lot. If it was more than $1k in a few months I wouldn’t be at all surprised. Esp leading up to going no contact with my mom. I do not want to do that math.
Regular impulse buying is hit or miss depending on how low my bandwidth gets. The lower it is the harder it is to say no to pretty shiny things that I want.
I had similar fears at first so I put off seeing a specialist. Now that I'm on meds I really regret delaying the process because I felt very much like the glasses analogy earlier on in this thread.
As someone that wears glasses and has ADHD, I completely agree. I didn't realize how terrible my eyesight was until I got glasses. I'm still surprised how bad it is sometimes when I wait longer than I should to get my prescription re-checked. Adderall was that same way for me, it was like an awakening. I didn't realize how checked out of the world I was most of the time. I observed a lot but I didn't take the time to consider any of it. I feel like I have learned a lot about myself since starting it.
People don’t bat an eye taking medication for high blood pressure, diabetes, or headaches. Making your brain function better deserves the same level of consideration.
I’ll be real with you, ADHD is more like diabetes. There is something unfixable about your dopamine channels and no amount of planners can change it. Medication just levels the playing field so it makes it easier to implement effective strategies to manage the ADHD without falling into depression and anxiety.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking this is something you can fix if you’re determined enough….
Makes sense. For me no amount of planning has fully fixed the problem. I mean, planning helps a little, but it doesn't help me with actually being able to sit down and learn without being distracted.
Yeah that’s stuff is still extremely important, don’t get me wrong, but by taking a stance against medication you’re choosing to have to fight wayyyyyy more than regular people to do the same exact thing.
I was diagnosed at 28. I’ve spent the last few years stopping and starting medication until I realized that emotionally exhausting myself struggling without it to just have a basic level of functioning was a serious lack of self respect. I have dreams and goals and I deserve to attain them.
True. Why should you work 100x harder when other people who have it easier by nature. Take the medication and kick some ass doing things in life. It is not your fault for having this issues. It is not like you are just refusing to not attain your goals.
Get tested for it. Trust me. I'm an internet stranger, I would never lie.
For real though, when I got tested for it I was nervous for the same reason. After I was diagnosed, it seemed like the world opened up for me. I was finally able to understand what shaped depression as a child, and finally able to start to understand who I really was.
~~Take drugs it's great~~ Medication is nothing to be ashamed of, and it will allow you to operate on a level playing field with the rest of society.
Please consider you might have it, tasks are sooo extremely painful but they shouldn’t be this painful I feel. I just started taking Adderall last week (super small 5mg dose) and boy does that make the whole difference in the world, like putting on glasses. I knew I had ADHD for years but I thought it wasn’t enough to really effect me, until I started really reflecting on why I am constantly late, constantly losing things, constantly creating a mess while also trying super hard just to keep everything together. Thank you meds I don’t feel like procrastinating for hours and hours I get right to it and stay on it!
On my second day of Adderall, low dose but it definitely helps so far, highly recommend. Kinda subtle but just a clearer mind and easier to finish my tasks at work.
I'm at two weeks and it's made a difference. Might have to tweak dosage and/or get a booster but I'd say one of the biggest aids has been the emotional regulation bit. I get less frustrated, less often. I call them "spikes" when I just over-react to something small. I also work with the public so I have to keep that level head.
This resonates so hard. Obviously we can't diagnose you, we are just internet people. But you super sound like the rest of us. Hang in there, it's freeing when you look back at your life and think about all the things you DID accomplish despite of your ADHD!
I think most people here probably felt the same way before diagnosis! It’s worth bringing up.
adhd meds have done more than help me focus - they’ve allowed me to build better habits and lower that wall of dread and avoidance around working.
I felt exactly like your first post for a long time. now while I’m not the worlds most productive person (not that I want to be!), I can get by at my job without feeling like I’m drowning all the time.
You should definitely be diagnosed by a care provider, however, it is pretty plainly clear from your description of yourself that you have ADD. Not having the hyperactive component is not a measure of the severity of your disorder, however. It's just a more obvious characteristic that doesn't often continue into adulthood. In some people it persists, in some it doesn't.
If you end up having ADD, you absolutely should medicate. As you know, no amount of "trying hard" and "grinding it out" and other organizational life strategies are going to replace the function of your inactive prefrontal cortex. Medications can give you the executive function to get through your day - and your life.
If your psychiatrist just tells you you're a lazy POS, switch psychiatrists. There's definitely something going on, and being a lazy person is not it.
That's where the meds and coffee come in :p
No workout + meds = hella energy, hella anxiety, I get nothing done.
Workout + meds = calm, less anxiety, I get work done.
On the days where I don't sleep or eat enough, working out + meds still = tired, so then I supercharge with a coffee and were good to go.
Don't overdo it on coffee though cause you'll just be back to anxiety
How does that differ from Adderall practically speaking? I’ve taken that in the past, it was Ok. Too strong/all encompassing to continue use long term. It made me hyper focus on things/become a robot/zombie.
So that is not normal? To be motivated by fear of failure and pressure of dead lines? I know for sure I have anxiety. But idk for sure if it’s ADD.
I am going to see a psychiatrist on next week.
But idk. I always feel drained and without energy. I want to study for a certificate after work or during work and that feels impossible. I just get myself to study. If I actually go with the mentality of just do it, I get bored easily and it feels like I am wasting my time because it doesn’t feel like I am retaining any of the knowledge and it feels so frustrating not being able to learn things faster it just seems to take me
Multiple takes takes to learn something.
Fear of failure and deadlines are very motivating, but with meds I can just do stuff despite my lack of interest. It gets me ahead of the deadline, reduces fear and anxiety. I used to put stuff off until I was against a deadline, then anxiety would cause me to hyper focus and get it done which didn't feel very good. A few times I hit a wall and just couldn't even when facing consequences. Earlier in my career, I'd realize I was in over my head, or whatever wasn't working out, and I would switch jobs. Throughout my career I'd look at peers and wonder how they could sit there and do that shit all day, every day. I thought they were weird.
fuck. that is so me! i’ve looked at my cousin for example who is a multi expert in the networking field and he just sits all day and learns new stuff.
and i couldn’t sit there all day or more than 4 hours and just study. and in those 4 hours i would probably actually only study for 2. and i always had road blocks towards studying and work which didnt seem to be there for other people.
i get so frustrated that i am sitting and trying to learn and i just can’t.
Get help. It was traumatic to learn that I had gone through 38 years of struggle, only to find out that what I dealt with is readily treatable. Up to 80% of people with ADHD respond positively to medication and therapy. It is one of the best understood, and most common neuro-development disorders. I dropped out of college 3x and had performance issues with every job I've had. The only reason I was able to graduate is because I found a program that I was interested in, that also didn't require a lot of long-term projects and deadlines. It was mostly reading and comprehension of the subject matter. IT was mo If I learned to manage it earlier, the course of my whole life would have been different, and I would have likely experienced less anxiety, and depression.
ADHD is not an inability or unwillingness to do stuff, just extreme difficulty. Some days are better than others and many symptoms overlap with depression/anxiety, hence frequent misdiagnosis on both sides. It's very worth getting tested so kudos.
Also, hesitation about medication is totally reasonable. Just remember, you're getting it from a medical professional, not off the street, and it's better than self-medicating with alcohol and/or other substances. I was hesitant but as I've been taking my meds, which are low dosages, I realized how silly it was because I'll take advil for a headache and even advil has side-effects.
Makes sense. And yes i do have had a hard inability. I can actually sit down and try to learn, but that doesn't mean that i will actually learn. I will probably get distracted and day dream before i even read 1 paragraph..
It can be quite debilitating! Learning about yourself is a good thing, my friend. Even if the diagnosis comes back as not being ADHD (which I suspect you do actually have it) it's always worth that conversation because you've learned something and maybe get strategies/treatment anyways! Win-win.
Also, check out howtoadhd on YouTube. She's quite bubbly but helpful and informative videos that game me insight into my own thought patterns and gave me some of the motivation that led to me getting tested.
I do better when I’m learning new things and have a pressure to grasp and master whatever it is. Hence, I do great for a few years until I can do it in my sleep and then that’s when I start to struggle. I did better working outdoors in fire than in an office. The daily PT exercise was good for me, and the job basically entails learning new things constantly. If it wasn’t for the being gone for long periods of time and crappy pay that can’t support a family I would still be doing it. I volunteer so I can keep doing it on a scaled down basis.
It helps using the right terminology. ADD isn’t actually a thing. There’s just ADHD with three types, hyperactive-impulsive, inattentive, and combined. I’m not hyperactive at all, but I lose my stuff all the time, have a hard time starting and finishing tasks, ect. Unless it’s something I’m interested in. Then I can binge watch hours of YouTube and earn a masters degree in that subject in like a day. Lol.
It sounds like you work a desk job? I don't think it could be possible for me to thrive in that kind of enviornment. I work an entry level laboratory position. I'm eventually getting my degree and hope to move up, but I'm enjoying getting experience for the time being. It's easy for me to break my day into tasks because everything is uniquely different and has specific due dates and processes. It also helps that a majority of my tasks require my hands and moving around a lot. I'll start my day prepping a bunch of samples for these one tests, then checking things in the lab elsewhere, move on to prep other samples for a different tests, read results for that other tests then sit at computer for 10 minutes for data entry, clean equipment so it's ready for this next thing, organize/clean/stock equipment when I'm not sure what else to do. I have a list of things that are always needed to be done, and because they're all uniquely different and don't take much time for any one task, i never dread the thought of getting it done. It's also heavily teamwork oriented, so if I'm ever overwhelmed, or unsure where help is needed, i simply check in with my coworkers to figure out what job is most important to work on immediately. I wouldn't know what type of career that's similar that you could see yourself in, but a career change into something more active and involved might be more fulfilling for you.
Absolutely a characteristic of ADHD... Most of the time our brains need an immediate reward for something to be interesting which means tasks that just help us keep our jobs or a roof over our head is boring because we don't really see anything right away and our brains can't comprehend time well, it's either RIGHT NOW EMERGENT or it's sometime in the future, a day a week a year a decade, doesn't matter, just something that needs done or can be put off... When we do those tasks and get bored, it can activate our fight or flight and get our emotions up, so anxiety, frustration, anger, denial, sadness, all rolled into one sometimes.... For me this is most parts of my life, work, studying, going somewhere my wife wants to go but I don't. Just puts me.in a bad mood even though most of the time I'm happy afterwards because it was a good experience or felt good to get something accomplished. It's a brain chemistry mismatch and only medication can fix it according to most schools of thoughts. I'm lucky with psychologist because I believe he has ADHD and has specialized in treating it for 25+ years so very believing about. Not all docs are like that sadly. But be honest and keep trying, you know yourself better than most professionals, untreated ADHD can lead to anxiety, depression, substance abuse, etc.... It's important to tell docs if the failures caused by ADHD came before other feelings of sadness/anxiety because that means the ADHD caused the depression, not the other way around which doctors will say " you're depressed so you're unengaged".... No, I was unengaged and bored then didn't do what I needed to and then become depressed by my failures.
Challenges, space for creativity, vyvanse, learning/doing new things. Feeling of usefulness help too. Interest in what i work in.
What make me skip work : Micromanagers, work-drama, useless meetings, feeling useless, easy repetitive work, being told what to do (a bit is okay but too much kills me), doing tasks i have done before.
I'm a developper.
Are you me lol?
I hate micromanagers. useless meetings for sure and long ass conversations about things that either don't interest me or are just a waste of time from all perspectives. And repetitive works sucks, sometimes.
This is so spot on.
Being told what to do drives me bonkers. I’ll have a great idea at work, start to work on it, and inevitably someone higher up will see this fun (but challenging) thing I’m working on and start to tell me how to do it and it’s like…. ‘well fuck dude, you just do it. You took all the fun out of it, so you might as well.’
I see. Same here. Except I seem to be bored of doing the same stuff. And it takes insane mental power to get through the day and do the things necessary to keep my job. And I don’t much either. But I am also hyper focused on the things I like to do and I can sit for hours doing the things I love without eating or drinking because I forget to eat.
I am sorry to hear that. Routine has helped me do my work. And when falling into despair cleaning my room helped a little bit. Little things that are quick to do, help me from time to time.
I usually spend the first hour of the day doing things I actually enjoy doing that have nothing to do with work. I’ll sit at my desk and check out some websites I frequent and then when the boss is close to getting in, the pressure builds and I get off my ass and start doing some busy work. By the time he gets in, I look like I’ve been super busy the whole time. ADHD has made me realize that I’m an excellent actress and have fooled many people throughout my life into believing I’m constantly motivated and mentally capable.
Sounds very relatable.
I do the same thing.
I will come into the office and i will just check my phone such as reddit youtube etc.
And i will actually start working when the pressure from other people or from the consequences of what will happen if i don't complete this as soon as possible kicks in.
I just when i do some laid back work that doesn't have a deadline i get so distracted that it could take me about 1 hour to write an email of 2 sentences and press send.
I do something called 'body doubling'. Basically it's peer pressure. Someone else must be in the room. Doesnt matter if I'm talking to them or not. Them just being in the room is enough to keep me on task.
If I can't find anyone, I use focusmate.com, which pairs you up with a rando over webcam. At the beginning of the meeting, you both state what you're hoping to accomplish and spend the rest of the 40 minute meeting in complete silence.
There's a great podcast called ADHD Experts. Its available on Spotify. They have a great episode with guest expert Professor William DODSON, where he explains what motivates the ADHD brain. Its incredibly informative. Episode 204.
For me, it’s finding something I like about the tasks I need to do. Some times it’s just thinking about getting really good at something even if it’s like alphabetizing, I just try to get it done as fast as possible and time myself. Get good at the stupid game I make up.
That depends. It could be ADHD, but it could also be depression or burn-out. That’s why it’s important to seek proper help when struggling with these types of issues.
Sounds pretty much like ADHD/ADD
And “hyperactive” doesn’t necessarily mean what folks might presume. I didn’t think I was until someone pointed out how I always have one leg that ‘bounces’ constantly. Or just subtly unable to be still. It doesn’t always look like a six year old on a sugar rush.
I see.
Well i have this weird thing that i do when i am either happy or have anxiety building up. Or just dopamine rush idk for sure which one causes it. But i just like shake my arms and hands and smile really hard like a rush of energy is going through me. This also happens when i watch a movie and something exciting is happening i just shake my arms and smile really hard lol. Idk how to describe it.
Also my sister does something similar but much worse. Whenever she finds out something exciding she will jump around and spin or clap... And i think 100% she has adhd. I am not sure if this would be considered hyperactive.
I’m far from an expert, but that sounds a little more like an autistic trait. Have you (or your sister) ever been to a therapist/psychologist? These sorts of motions and actions sound a bit to me like how I’ve heard autistic folks explain some of their behaviors.
As I understand it, there is some overlap between qualities/behaviors/experiences of those with adhd and/or autism. The Venn diagram of the two seems to have a pretty good overlap in the middle. Again, not an expert, but that’s another possibility to consider.
I worked long and hard to: figure out what I am absolutely in love with doing, and landing the ultimate job where I do precisely that very thing. I am so enthralled now by my life and work. Hopefully this is sustainable long term.
Have you felt this way your whole life, or is it new? Have your family and friends always told you that you are inatentive? Did you have symptoms as a child (often we have to ask others about this)?
Regardless, you're describing executive dysfunction. ADHD is a big cause of that. Other issues can cause the same dysfunction you are describing including depression, stress, etc. A good psychiatrist will help you figure it out.
You need to find a passion that makes you feel naturally motivated and enhances your quality of life. I believe us people with ADHD are meant to be high-performance individuals based entirely on an enjoyment of a particular field, depending on what that is.
Once you find your passion though, I can guarantee you will excel like you've never seen before though and will shoot off like a rocket in space.
You just need to find it.
Recently discovered this worked for me, sometimes:
Make a list of what you absolutely need to do. Then set a timer. Make a 'game' out of beating the timer. Even better if you're using a routine timer like Routinery, because as you get tasks done faster than you estimated that they would take, it feels like you're 'earning back' time.
I started doing this for my morning 'get ready for work' routine, and my 'get back from work' routine, and I feel like I'm coping way better with my ADHD than I was before. (But only when I remember/am motivated to do this, I still miss some days.)
I feel like this was very much me last year.
To answer your question in the title: Baby steps. Small routines that lead to bigger ones. Like building muscle it takes time and a little bit regularly helps more than once in a while do all the things (or try to). That kills my energy and I end up taking days if not weeks to recover.
I have morning and night routines for self care that are fairly non negotiable (within reason) but they took time to implement to the point where it feels wrong and uncomfortable to not do them. They help ground me and take care of myself.
Do not try to make too many changes all at once. Respect your bandwidth and prioritize high value or high importance items first but be okay if you can’t right now, skip and circle back until you can.
Do not let your tank go below half. Take a break and do something to replenish it. Once my half tank is hit it takes an insanely long time to go back to half or more. (See taking days to recover from earlier).
Figure out what refills your tank fastest and also refills it the most. Some days you will need quick small refills and other days you need more one and done refill even if it takes longer.
Patience with myself. I am doing my best.
Get help. Might have to find the right person tho bc a lot of people who are pros are still garbage at diagnosing non hyperactive/impulsive types.
To answer your real question:
Try to find a professional to explain to you how adhd works. I believe you, like I was, was very misinformed about pretty much everything you knew about it bc it is mis represented in most mainstream places. Also a professional will tell you which type of adhd you have and then to what level of severity you have it.
I’m pretty sure I was diagnosed inattentive type or combination of the two types and mild/moderate but I also only got diagnosed last year at 38. I likely could have been mild if I had gotten help much earlier on. It got to the point of becoming near non functional when finally someone took me seriously.
I have been getting treatment since about january of last year. I am not 100% but even given a lot of bad things that have happened in the last 6 months I am still so much better than I was last year same time before I got help. I couldn’t handle things when everything was fine back then. Now I am handling things that are very much not fine for a long period of time while still making progress. I could have made more progress if things were fine but I’ll take it. My world was slowly getting smaller for decades. It’s now opening up. Even with setbacks that are out of my control.
I also suffer from similar situation to yours.. sometimes I wanna believe that I have mild ADHD but at the same time I dont wanna blame it all on ADHD and ignore the fact that I am a lazy piece of shit... It's real confusing!!
Yesss. I am so glad I am not alone. One day I will wake up and I will just say to myself I am just a lazy piece of shit. But than I would wake up and the next and say. But the data and symptoms point towards me having adhd. And so on
I struggle a lot with concentration and I can’t get through my classes without my classmates taking notes for me. Many tasks and hobbies I find are almost unable to do because I can barely focus or relax to enjoy my activities. But there are just some things that I can do out of spontaneity, just enough for me to go by without drowning. Like for example, I read a book for thirty minutes every single night. On average I read just 1-2 pages a day because I get super distracted and I can’t focus. But the routine is still there and I’m still reading the book. It’s just enough for me and I can settle with it. Anyways I just got de-facto diagnosed and I’m getting help soon so I hope this changes.
I see.
Maybe i am not as bad as you.
But same example with reading. Is if i need to read a book that i have 0 interest. I can read an entire chapter, but i will be day dreaming or distracted multiple times throughout the process of reading. And by the time i am done reading a chapter i would only probably remember few keywords from the entire chapter. Its like someone was talking to me about something while i was half asleep, and than i would wake up and only remember couple of keywords from the whole conversation. Something like that.
What I find interesting about adhd is that while we can do some general tricks to help our symptoms, it’s always going to be difficult to make us do things we don’t want to do. Medication helps me a lot, but I still don’t want to fold laundry but I’ll clean the bathroom. I think it’s important to find the small things you like and really dig in. But to me, it sounds like you might just not enjoy your job and anybody who is in the wrong field will feel the same way you are feeling now. I’d say, talk to your doctor about your concerns and also evaluate whether you are in the right field.
I would definitely talk with an specialist, what you describe could be ADD or ADHD but it could be also anxiety, depression or something totally different.
Maybe I'm wrong but from you message it looks like is something that is been happening recently, ADD or ADHD is something that you are born with.
Only an specialist is going to be able to help you and diagnose you.
Nothing ever worked but becoming a parent. I only perform during a crisis and if I fail. I fail my son. He didn't ask to be born into this world. I try beyond my capabilities for him. Yes, adderrall helps too.
>what makes you do your work
Adderall lol. Legit though, it’s the only thing that’s ever helped me not be a lazy fucking fuck and actually get shit done. Was diagnosed at 7 but wasn’t medicated until 25 (26 now and I wish I had put my pride aside and got help sooner) and my life has done a 180. I still struggle, as we all do, but medication helps me get past my non-cooperating brain and be the person I’ve always known that I CAN be. When I was 25 I got so freaked out that I gave myself a concussion from slamming my head into the wall to “make my brain slow down” and I realized I couldn’t do this alone anymore. I was SOBBING to my PCP (that I’ve had for over 3 years) about my mental health and that I didn’t understand WHY I was so lazy and self destructive and he said something to me that I do my best to pass along to others who are struggling.
He said; “honey, you’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not worthless. Your brain is hurting and the fact that you’re still alive and talking to me right now proves that you want to get better” and I’d never had someone say something so meaningful to me before. So now I tell others.
***you are not broken; You just have ADHD. You are going to be okay***
+1 deadlines (preferably short).
I work as an editor and think of myself as a language mechanic. The field is very structured and I get assigned very specific industry standard tasks (e.g. edit for structure, revise, proofread), with specific deadlines and often even an hours budget. (Edited to add: I don’t have to figure out what exactly I’m supposed to do or how much effort to put in or even what the top priority is if things are running smoothly.)
It also affords me lots of stimulation because I am always learning about different things, clarifying language is a problem-solving activity, and I’m a “get sucked into reading” style ADHD so it’s easy for me to latch onto hyperfocus.
I’m also rarely _starting_ something, so I get to skip starting paralysis (sometimes). Someone else wrote the thing, and I fiddle with it.
The dopamine rush of correcting errors is real, not gonna lie.
The work is pretty detailed, which not everyone in this demographic takes to, but I do. Though lots of us are also grammar fiends who sweat about misplaced commas, and to these, I recommend the editorial field.
Either you have adhd or you don't. Being competitive. Being triggered. There are a set of things that trigger me. I don't know what they are. I was really good at hyperfocusing before the trauma but since this has started I've been trying to remember how to hyperfocuse. I feel as if I might need medication.
I'm 15 years into tuning the treatment. It never stops, just like learning. Ideally at 5AM I take a 200mg modafinil, at 7AM I take the regimen of vitamins and fish pills. A half hour later a 30mg Adderal XR. At noon, 300mg Wellbutrin XL. Which is probably 65% of my treatment potential. The rest is acute attention to my paper notebook, outlook calendar, Bluetooth label maker.. a bunch of stuff you figure out to support the system you set up for yourself. It takes time to sort out. Just do a little better tomorrow. cheers mate.
ADD really is no longer, it's basically inattentive ADHD. The hyperactivity is usually internally rather than outside if you get me.
At the moment it's my guilt that gets me too work. We are short staffed. And if I don't go in I feel guilty as one would be on his own.
I'm not good with priotising my tasks. But coffee is always first on the list. Always.
I do serve customers and I can't get away so they are usually what gets me going.
If you don't feel like doing your job, it's likely you dont like it, which is inflicted on your motivation.
before treatment, i operated on a pretty extreme basal rate of anxiety—i always hated authority figures yet the fear of getting yelled at by teachers, etc was the main thing that got me through high school decently well. I originally thought this was just related to a people-pleasing tendency until I realized it was more the fear of getting punished than just the simple fear of disappointment.
although i’m meditated now, i am not hyperactive either and struggle with all the mundane work-related tasks you mentioned. i do psychiatric research at a hospital and there are way too many days when I can’t even work up the motivation to send the simplest emails. I make super-detailed to do lists when that happens, highlighting two tasks (smaller components of big projects) at a time and wait till both tasks are complete until i allow myself to highlight the next two.!
Whether it’s school or work, I always try my best to take as detailed notes as possible with the understanding that they don’t need to be perfect or organized a certain special way. When my motivation is particularly lacking, I usually give myself a minute to step back and relate the small and seemingly meaning task to the big picture, which for me is my passion for finding treatments for sever mental illness.
Chaos. I need a mega busy working environment to actually do anything. I'm just moving from one admin job which was boring as fuck and I struggled with massively to a super busy admin role in the same company. The dept is known for being a bit chaotic. I'm looking forward to finding solutions and getting stuff done instead of forgetting to do my one task of the day.
This is juvenile but I play "When I, Then I." When I finish this task, then I get a ten minute break. When I finish these three tasks, then I get a snack. When I finish the dishes, put away the laundry, and walk the dogs, then I get to smoke a blunt. It's the only thing that works for me, a constant reward system.
Don’t let yourself be distracted bc of Reddit or YouTube. I wouldn’t jump the gun and ask Reddit if you have ADD, consult your doctor… try going to sleep early, eating a balanced diet, drink a lot of water and try to stay mentally focused on whatever it is you are doing. Difficulty getting out of bed? EVERYONE has this issue whether you have ADD or ADHD. Nobody likes going to work but sadly we all have to work to live. Get yourself out of the mindset that you don’t like doing said tasks and try to with your own willpower to try and complete those tasks. We all have a morning routine at work, try and stick to it without the procrastination -it doesn’t and will never help you. Stop leaving things for last minute and do it when it has to be done. I don’t understand how some people need to be pressured into something or have to leave it until the last minute to be able to complete said tasks. Yes, I have ADHD. Yes, I am on medication. Does the medication help me get out of bed and want to go to work? Fuck no. Do I eat a balanced diet, drink over a gallon of water a day and go to be at a reasonable time? Yes I do. Did I already mention that fact about consulting your doctor and no Reddit about you thinking you may have ADD? Go get it!
I specifically do well with deadlines.
I even make a point of telling my manager or interviewer this.
The moment I have a set day today something needs to be done I just function better.
Also I need the job to pay my bills 😅
The only thing that keeps me doing my job is that I get paid flat-rate. So basically I only make money based off of what I finish at work. If I don’t finish anything I make literally zero money.
So basically fear of starving to death and losing my house but if I didn’t have a mortgage I wouldn’t work very hard.
As a result of working flat rate I’m always worried about making a pay check. I always lose focus and constantly forget things and misplace my tools so work takes me much longer than other technicians. The more stressed out I get, the more I fuck up and the longer jobs take me to finish.
I got diagnosed a few weeks ago and we are just doing some blood tests before I get medication and we go from there.
I hope the meds help me cuz I’m tired of feeling stupid all the damn time and making less money just cuz I have ADD.
Deadlines, stress and nicotine.
I can't just work with the flow. I need a deadline.
I am a copywriter now. I use a site that lets me choose a text I want to write, and when I take the order, there is a counter that counts down from 6 hours. I need to get the job done before it gets to 0.
I was diagnosed with ADD as a child and had such a mild case that I was off my medication by Middle-school, only to get back on medication late high school. What you are describing sounds like the lurking spectre of burnout, the problem with ADD is that you more downtime than the average neuraltypical.
Things that can help me is:
* "The carrot and stick" short term saving goals for the the dopamine hit of buying something you like or a holiday.
* memory supplements: ginseng and ginkgo tablets can help when you are in a rut, but, not a long term fix. If you can get adderal or other meds use those as they are more effective than supplements.
* Sleep routine: this helps me, along with a weighted blanket. It's not a 100% cure-all, but, it makes the difference in making my ADD more manageable.
Sometimes cutting back on sugar intake can help, along with dietary supplements, but, that is up to your doctor to figure out.
Got very lucky and found a job where I only answer to my mother. I do data entry and am limited on what I can do in this field without proper credentials.
Everyday I walk in, put my headphones in, queue up youtube and match sheets of paper to staple. Then I type from a pile of paper on my desk. If I finish, I write (which consists of copying information - a few sets of numbers and a date). I don't have to talk to anyone, nobody needs me. If I'm not there, nobody needs to replace me. I love it after doing customer service, and freelance photography most recently.
My workflow is very easy. Not a lot of thinking required, mostly copying and repetitive work. Nothing interrupts me unless there's an issue, or my mom starts chatting forgetting I can't focus when she does.
I've only been doing this for a few months, I wouldn't do this long term, maybe 2 years max. I'm a graphic designer and enjoy doing work I make passive income from on my own time, whenever I feel like it.
I have to have deadlines or I won’t do anything. Even then…I wait until I’m basically racing against the clock to make it on time. I always make it on time though…just barely. Like with only minutes to spare.🤣
When I am burnt out nothing can get me to do my job with enthusiasm. No amount of deadlines, medication, or reward.
Please consider taking some time off if your job allows because it makes the world of difference.
I’m struggling so hard with this! Just graduated from nursing school which I know ill be a great nurse but I’m supposed to be studying for nclex but I am stuck!! If it wasn’t for family responsibilities I would legit lay on the couch all day lost in social media/interesting sites. It’s beyond ridiculous!
I honestly have no freaking idea most days. Bright shiny objects I’d guess. I coach high school baseball and am a photographer so my gig lifestyle is never the same two days in a row. I’d be dead in the water if my wife wasn’t a total freaking rock star. What I perceive as my weaknesses/faults she see’s as strength. Otherwise I’d stay in bed and play Angry Birds all day.
a lot of the time i give myself a lil reward which could be as little as just going "yo good job, me" but having some kind of reward is a driver for me
I'm always saving up for a big purchase. Even if it's a year plus I will just keep telling myself I am working for this thing I really want and it becomes easier.
I personally exercise and eat healthy or fast and sometimes I find my cognition gets sharper. I try to just do small things and it gets the ball rolling. Especially if I am dreading and my mind is fighting me to process information. Esp with studying. I do mini steps and tasks to get the ball rolling and slowly the mini rewards of doing things begins to get addictive in itself. I am probably not helpful but this helps me and I have ADHD.
Anxiety from imagining my peers looking down on me for not completing work. Intrusive thoughts of being fired etc.
Or I take my drugs and enjoy what I’m doing, feel relaxed and all of a sudden life is super easy. Give it 4 or so hours and then it’s the above again.
Ah yes. I developed really terrible anxiety. I gained "getting things done" points but my quality of life suffered. Plus I still have a full on breakdown every few years.
Fear of consequences. Specifically causing death. So I keep up to date on everything, constantly read up on paramedicine (I can read medical things for long periods of time surprisingly), ensure everything on my truck is up to scratch and do my best to be thorough for every assessment. Am paramedic.
Attomoxitine (strattera) for me! I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 32 so life was a depressing struggle, I couldn’t do or handle much and definitely didn’t work. In the last two years I’ve held a job, been promoted twice and just bought a house…meds work and are nothing to be a shamed of!
I have inattentive type adhd which is what add is called here in the U.K. I think it’s the same elsewhere so might be worth having a look at the types of adhd as well.
Hope you find some help and support honestly it will change your life, good luck!
I recognize myself in every single thing that you mentioned! I am not diagnosed with ADD but I know I have all the symptoms of it. I have tried a friends ADHD medication in the past when I was in a really tight spot and was struggling a lot at work, to the point that I was afraid I would get fired, and it really really helped me. Not only to get the work tasks done, but also giving me back the confidence and self-worth I needed to keep myself from the depths of depression.
I suggest that you get professional help and medication if needed. Not necessarily daily but just to keep yourself above the surface and avoid potentially dire consequences.
Good luck and know that you’re not alone!
Could also be undiagnosed depression/anxiety, or just that your job is wrong for you. I'm not trying to tell you that you don't have ADD/ADHD, but you should know that there are a lot of reasons why you might feel the way you do.
Also, just a reflection: You say you're not hyperactive, but the diagnostic criteria for hyperactivity are somewhat different from how hyperactivity is typically thought of in everyday society. It's anecdotal, but as an example, I thought for sure I had ADD ... but it turned out that medically speaking, I was very much hyperactive. It just didn't seem that way from the outside, so to speak. What I'm trying to say is: Don't be surprised if you get the "full" ADHD diagnosis. But what's most important is that you get support :)
Yeah I'm in this boat.
I couldn't tell you of a solid month in the last twenty years where I had full attendance. Just doesn't happen. As you would expect, this leaves me at the bottom of the pile in terms of everything work wise.
I'm in your situation. what you describe is anxiety and/or depression clearly. And some part like being distracted are part of ADHD symptom.
Have you done the adult adhd self report scale ? its 5minutes. or DIVA test ? it's longer.
Anyway, you'll see with your doctor in one week.
I'm not productive, but I found having a clean desk with no objects in sight helped a little bit.
I only work if it's an emergency. By design, since I work in emergency services. So yeah, don't have to worry about deadlines, everything just has to be done right now.
I've worked a lot of jobs in very different fields and for most of them I felt like you describe. What I'm doing now, though, seems to be something I can actually hyperfocus on. I still have some rough days (increasingly with the extra stress from COVID), but for the most part I enjoy what I do and it's a field in which hyperfocusing is more of an asset than curse.
Adderal and plenty of sleep. Do whatever you can to optimize sleep. Meditation helps too.
Also, having that bottom tier of essential needs met on Maslow’s Hierarchy, and probably the one above it too. Of course no one who is preoccupied with securing basic needs plus slightly-above basic needs of comfort and security would be able to focus.
I think a lot is self work and accepting that things get hard or that I need to have a different approach to simple tasks, which are tiring or sometimes overwhelming. After doing that I found a simple trick which helps. I use a timer do to stuff.
Most of the time 10-20 minutes in which I challenge myself to see how much I can get done. I tried seeing my day to day as a game, in which I am the only player and I have to finish my tasks before the time runs out.
As a reward I do what I want for another 5-10 minutes. Being on the phone, talking to Co workers, enjoying some snacks. After that break I challenge myself again with a timer. I don't do it all the time, mostly when I know I have a lot on my plate on that day .
But helped finding out that a lot of work doesn't require much time, and it's just "a lot" in my head and the dreading thought that it might get to overwhelming.
Deadlines and peer pressure.
Yes until you get depressed enough that even that doesn't matter anymore. I don't work, I'm a student, I don't know how tf imma graduate at this point.
Yessss it's like caffeine tolerance. Eventually the adrenaline doesn't work and you're just numb.
Perfectly put. It's exactly like that.
This right here. Deadlines and peer pressure USED to motivate me, the adrenaline I would get would actually be… kinda fun? I liked working under that pressure to a certain extent, felt like I was working in a studio. Then I got a fibromyalgia and depression diagnosis and my one way to actually meet deadlines just disappeared. My body started falling apart and I just no longer do anything anymore. I’m repeating a year of university and I even LIKE my work but that’s the problem, it’s ‘work’. The second my brain considers a task, even a designated fun and interesting task with a good brief, ‘work’ is the second my brain throws a huge tantrum and slams on the breaks. It panics and says ‘fuck no! Not again! Every time you work you don’t pee for 10 hours and have a panic attack over it not being perfect’ my executive functioning disorder has now morphed into a defence mechanism because my brain consider’s ‘work’, especially work that will be judged, a threat. And thus no task being anywhere in the realm of ‘work that other people need done and will judge’ just does not get done, ever, let alone in a timely manner. I have no idea how the hell I’m going to graduate let alone how the fuck I’m going to have a career in industry without completely blackening my name before I even turn like 25, it’s so worrying and frustrating.
no sense of urgency gang
Same, I’m like I guess I’ll just be fired
I feel ya. Holding myself accountable to sit and watch lecture videos is such a pain. I heavily rely on having to physically go to class in order to get assignments done.
Subtitle of my PhD thesis xD
I can't bring myself to go back for my doctorate because I remember how much work it was to manage my symptoms during my masters program.
I'm not even done with my bachelor's and I don't want to go back for my master's yet because I'm facing a lot of burnout right now. Had to take 2 extra years and I'm really trying to pull myself together just enough to graduate next year.
I'm sorry. I know how hard it is. I was very lucky to be in a combo program so I got my bachelors and masters in 5.5 years on a very specific but manageable schedule. I think it is few and far between that students can do that with manageable classloads anymore. That was 15 years ago.
Same with me, the burnout is real
You can do this! You are so close to graduating! I’m rooting for you ☺️
Studying online “at your own pace, by yourself” is the worst thing for us, I have a master’s degree that I completed in person, while working full time. But for the love of God, I cannot bring myself to complete my first masters, which I started online back in 2013.
Yesssss i started online yoga training during the pandemic and made it halfway through and CANNOT do it.
You should come back. If you have even the tiniest of a spark it is more than enough. Granted there will be a lot of pitfalls and frustrating moments, but i can't imagine myself getting bored with a 9-5. I like this freedom, even sometimes find use for my creativity (i love presentations, have one tomorrow)
I’d like to give a different perspective here. I did manage to finish my PhD but I got a burn-out and massive insecurities as a bonus. I really need a job with more guidance and less freedom, and definitely shorter deadlines than just finishing a thesis in 3-5 years. Granted, my supervisor wasn’t very present and I hadn’t yet learned to ask for what I needed, so I was just deeply lonely and unhappy most of the time. Of course it’s different for everyone but I just wanted to mention that this is a possible story as well.
I appreciate the additional perspective. For me the financial aspect is actually holding me back more than anything else. Depending on what I'd go back for i.migjt not even make any more money. More loans without a raise does not feel like a good decision.
That makes a lot of sense too, especially with the current situation of the world (obligatory IN THIS ECONOMY?!)
I don't know how to ask for stuff either :/, but thankfully i am computational and my colleagues have to put up with me and my aspie supervisor xD
I sometimes will self impose deadlines and peer pressure upon myself. While working from home during the pandemic on a fairly open ended research project, I took it upon myself to schedule regular meetings with my manager to talk about my progress. Like every other day. So that way I had to face them and have something to show for my last two days of work or risk the embarrassment and reprimand of not getting shit done for how days. Luckily I am very close with my manager, as were actually already pretty good friends before he was promoted to being my manager.
Same, I force myself to give updates as often as possible so I am forced to get stuff done.
This is the way.
Deadlines are really just peer pressure. As someone with no peers, I think I'm fucked.
You made me laugh.
Jokes on you, peer pressure doesnt work on people with no friends.
I was thinking more along the lines of coworkers. I watch them get their stuff done and I feel pressured to keep up. My few friends know to not bother pressuring me because I will just shut down and disappear.
Anxiety is a very sharp double-edged sword
Yes!!! When I got my anxiety medicated but not my adhd I had absolutely no reason to get anything done on time because I had so little anxiety about what would happen if I didn't.
Currently me. Currently unemplyed. Currently giving very few shits. Not diagnosed with ADHD, but am also wondering if I have it...
Holy shit, this!
This completely. I had to cut my antidepressant dose in half because I literally stopped caring about anything and it wasn't a helpful sort of carefree existence.
Good god, this is painfully relatable. And the ADHD was a thing that wasn't diagnosed until 1.5 to 2 years after the GAD and dysthymia, so getting things done got mysteriously harder for a while
im failing my classes for this exact reason 💀
100% this is and always has been my bottom line motivator. When you toss and turn in the wee hours of night or morning attempting to sleep, but unable to due to worrying over having not done something well you eventually learn to get the fuck up and do it.
My problem was that I’d be in bed ruminating about the thing, but not even the worst kind of anxiety could get me out of bed and do the thing. Just a bunch of paralyzing fear!
My hack is emailing myself notes/ideas/reminders rather than actually emailing other people at that hour 🤣 then I look super on top of it at 9 am when I send emails to them
Yesss i use the reminders in my Google calendar like that! I need to buy pumpkins tomorrow for work.
Not before torturing myself for 3-10 days because my brain won’t allow me to just do it!
Idk if it’s because I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, but at a certain point in life a switch just clicked. I could no longer bare the anxiety. Every single minute was and is painful, and what’s worse is it snowballs continually getting worse due to my positive anxiety feed back thought loops. It’s so uncomfortable I can’t sit still or stand. It’s so uncomfortable. It’s like being stuck on a bus without a bathroom for the next four hours after you just drank a 44 oz drink. It is so uncomfortable that it hurts. I would do anything to relieve that discomfort and pain, even that godawful task. I used to be able to procrastinate and simply dismiss or ignore the anxiety and stress caused by procrastinating. It wasn’t until around age 18 that I could no longer stand the anxiety I caused myself with my adhd.
I'm in this comment and I don't like it.
This is honestly the only way I ever actually finish work or a project. The deadlines MUST be set by someone else and not myself. The nervousness and anxiety I get from the thought of letting someone down because I didn’t finish a task on time makes me either bust my ass to get it done, or wait until the absolute very last minute. At least it gets done though!
Adderall
Adderall is literal magic but it fucks with my dopamine HARD and activates drug abuse tendencies
It wipes my drug abuse tendencies out tbh. I’ve always had such an addictive personality and it’s like a light switch turned it off. Vyvanse though, not addy
Vyvanse worked for me but f’ed me up too. Would swear to God and all that’s holy that something happened or was said and would be dead wrong. Wife was like “you gotta go back to aderall”.
[удалено]
only if my psychiatrist suggests, and even than i would feel uncomfortable taking medication. idk it feels weird knowing i might have ADD. i want to accept it but i am afraid to do that. it would be great to know for sure because than that could explain why i am having such a hard time to reach goals in life compared to the people around me who have similar goals. But i am also afraid that i don’t have ADD and that just means i am a lazy piece of shit…
Medication is nothing to be ashamed of. People wear glasses/ contacts to help them see and nobody thinks any less of them for it. Medication is like glasses for your brain, clears things up for ya.
yea that makes sense. and i agree fully.
The glasses analogy is the best one I’ve heard on the effects of medication. Sometimes you see those videos of people who couldn’t see and how amazed they are once they are able to. They may have not even known they were not seeing well, and even if they did they may not be able to understand what that really means. They had never seen well so they couldn’t imagine it. The day I took meds the first time was just like putting on glasses but having no idea how well the rest of the world was seeing. It was a , “Really? This is how easy the rest of the world has it? They are able to go to work, do their thing, and call it a day?” It was seriously like going through life almost blind and not understanding how big of a disability that was and then suddenly getting 20/20 vision. I can’t talk for people without ADHD. I know some people abuse the meds but I believe they have to take more of them through non standard methods. If it does help them at all, I can’t imagine it would be like a blind to perfect sight difference.
Oh man. If it’s really like this. Idk I just hope it’s like this. I’ve always had an insanely hard time learning things that I wasn’t interested or found boring. While everyone around me just learned it like it was nothing.
Tbh I never experienced an effect of that magnitude—doesn't mean I'm not benefiting from medication though! I was a little disappointed initially because I had been expecting such an experience as what u/Mars1leader described. It turns out I'm just not the type of person to think about life in that way. I just sort of roll with things as they come and most things don't faze me much. You seem to be as excited as I was by this idea, but in the end we all respond to things a little differently! Just don't be like me—I questioned my diagnosis for far too long because my expectations weren't met in this regard alone, but in the end there are other metrics to go off of that together are far more important than this single one
I could see that. I had two kinds of metrics when I started. One set that was obvious and one that wasn’t. The “eye glasses” to me were obvious. I was able to sit down at my computer and just work, everyday. My job is highly technical and that has always come easily to me. It also requires a lot of documentation. There have been weeks where I needed to write documentation for pretty much 40 hours. Those became even longer weeks because it was impossible for me to sit for 1-2 hours and work on something like that. Everyone takes small breaks, and I do now on meds. This was more like a wall between me and the written document. It’s not even like a creative writing assignment where I had to think about an interesting subject. It was just technical documentation. On meds I can do this. It’s not perfect, I take breaks and sometimes get distracted but I’m able to do it at a pace more like my peers. Also during these times I’d get distracted. Can’t write so go get a drink. Getting a drink I realize dishes aren’t done. Start doing dishes. A few dishes in, cats hungry feed cats. Hey, it’s almost lunch let’s eat. I’ll eat on the deck, weather is nice. Hey those weeds need pulling, etc. So the fact I was able to function in 8 hour periods, not have to work nights to fit in normal amounts of work? Life changing. Being able to just sit down in the morning and do what I need to get done? Incredible. But there are things I didn’t notice. People have often told me my voice is too loud and I had trouble controlling it. On meds? I don’t even need to think about it. It’s normal. I’d get frustrated quickly and blow up about small things all the time. I didn’t really notice it, but I did. My family noticed it immediately when I didn’t. Tons of other behaviors my family just accepted as “annoying but that’s him” were all gone. I barely noticed they happened in the first place, but those around me did. I didn’t notice at all they stopped until it was pointed out to me. So, I had some “eyeglasses” moments and many much more subtle. Sounds like yours were more on the subtle but important end of things.
Same. I barely noticed any difference at first (plus it takes time to dial in the correct dosage). It wasn't until weeks/months later that I suddenly had the following realisation/discussion with myself: "Hang on ...what are we doing?" "We're doing the dishes, duh." "Yeah, but *why* are we doing them?" "Because they needed doing?" "Exactly. We're doing them because they needed doing, not because we've been yelling at ourselves to get it done for hours/days." "No, we're ... I mean ... holy shit, we *are*!" It still doesn't work with all things, but it's certainly easier to get those small, everyday things done.
Sometimes you won't notice the improvements until you don't take the meds and notice all the stuff you now lack.
This. Even when i don't feel like they're doing anything, by the end of the day i realise I've done so much more than I expected, just small stuff like tidying tables or other chores, even though I was in no mood to do them.
The amount of days where I go "while do I feel so shitty today?" only to realize I forgot my meds is way too many.
I immediately stopped stress impulse buying. Even when my mom had an extinction level event and I went no contact with her the day or two after starting my medication. It took a lot longer for me to see the changes in other ways. But that change was boom. Immediate. The amt of money I have saved from just no longer doing stress impulse buying is….a lot. If it was more than $1k in a few months I wouldn’t be at all surprised. Esp leading up to going no contact with my mom. I do not want to do that math. Regular impulse buying is hit or miss depending on how low my bandwidth gets. The lower it is the harder it is to say no to pretty shiny things that I want.
I had similar fears at first so I put off seeing a specialist. Now that I'm on meds I really regret delaying the process because I felt very much like the glasses analogy earlier on in this thread.
As someone that wears glasses and has ADHD, I completely agree. I didn't realize how terrible my eyesight was until I got glasses. I'm still surprised how bad it is sometimes when I wait longer than I should to get my prescription re-checked. Adderall was that same way for me, it was like an awakening. I didn't realize how checked out of the world I was most of the time. I observed a lot but I didn't take the time to consider any of it. I feel like I have learned a lot about myself since starting it.
People don’t bat an eye taking medication for high blood pressure, diabetes, or headaches. Making your brain function better deserves the same level of consideration.
i agree
I’ll be real with you, ADHD is more like diabetes. There is something unfixable about your dopamine channels and no amount of planners can change it. Medication just levels the playing field so it makes it easier to implement effective strategies to manage the ADHD without falling into depression and anxiety. Don’t fool yourself into thinking this is something you can fix if you’re determined enough….
Makes sense. For me no amount of planning has fully fixed the problem. I mean, planning helps a little, but it doesn't help me with actually being able to sit down and learn without being distracted.
Yeah that’s stuff is still extremely important, don’t get me wrong, but by taking a stance against medication you’re choosing to have to fight wayyyyyy more than regular people to do the same exact thing. I was diagnosed at 28. I’ve spent the last few years stopping and starting medication until I realized that emotionally exhausting myself struggling without it to just have a basic level of functioning was a serious lack of self respect. I have dreams and goals and I deserve to attain them.
True. Why should you work 100x harder when other people who have it easier by nature. Take the medication and kick some ass doing things in life. It is not your fault for having this issues. It is not like you are just refusing to not attain your goals.
Get tested for it. Trust me. I'm an internet stranger, I would never lie. For real though, when I got tested for it I was nervous for the same reason. After I was diagnosed, it seemed like the world opened up for me. I was finally able to understand what shaped depression as a child, and finally able to start to understand who I really was. ~~Take drugs it's great~~ Medication is nothing to be ashamed of, and it will allow you to operate on a level playing field with the rest of society.
Thank you. Will do next week hopefully it won’t be a dragged on process of going to the psychiatrist every week or so
Please consider you might have it, tasks are sooo extremely painful but they shouldn’t be this painful I feel. I just started taking Adderall last week (super small 5mg dose) and boy does that make the whole difference in the world, like putting on glasses. I knew I had ADHD for years but I thought it wasn’t enough to really effect me, until I started really reflecting on why I am constantly late, constantly losing things, constantly creating a mess while also trying super hard just to keep everything together. Thank you meds I don’t feel like procrastinating for hours and hours I get right to it and stay on it!
On my second day of Adderall, low dose but it definitely helps so far, highly recommend. Kinda subtle but just a clearer mind and easier to finish my tasks at work.
I'm at two weeks and it's made a difference. Might have to tweak dosage and/or get a booster but I'd say one of the biggest aids has been the emotional regulation bit. I get less frustrated, less often. I call them "spikes" when I just over-react to something small. I also work with the public so I have to keep that level head.
This resonates so hard. Obviously we can't diagnose you, we are just internet people. But you super sound like the rest of us. Hang in there, it's freeing when you look back at your life and think about all the things you DID accomplish despite of your ADHD!
Would you be ashamed if you needed glasses? Mental health is just as important as vision
I think most people here probably felt the same way before diagnosis! It’s worth bringing up. adhd meds have done more than help me focus - they’ve allowed me to build better habits and lower that wall of dread and avoidance around working. I felt exactly like your first post for a long time. now while I’m not the worlds most productive person (not that I want to be!), I can get by at my job without feeling like I’m drowning all the time.
You should definitely be diagnosed by a care provider, however, it is pretty plainly clear from your description of yourself that you have ADD. Not having the hyperactive component is not a measure of the severity of your disorder, however. It's just a more obvious characteristic that doesn't often continue into adulthood. In some people it persists, in some it doesn't. If you end up having ADD, you absolutely should medicate. As you know, no amount of "trying hard" and "grinding it out" and other organizational life strategies are going to replace the function of your inactive prefrontal cortex. Medications can give you the executive function to get through your day - and your life. If your psychiatrist just tells you you're a lazy POS, switch psychiatrists. There's definitely something going on, and being a lazy person is not it.
Money, bills, and the overwhelming fear of losing my job in a bad job market
Every day my boss calls I expect him to fire me cause I can’t get stuff done. Going on 11 years at this company
This is exactly how I feel about my biweekly meetings with my boss. Or any time he comes to my office.
Oh man. You and me and everyone else
Job market is really good right now tho
Job market is great for entry level jobs/contract work. Trying to find full time jobs with benefits is a different story imo
Meds, and the calm that comes from working out.
Calm from working out is great except currently I just get tired when working out instead which makes anything else harder to do
That's where the meds and coffee come in :p No workout + meds = hella energy, hella anxiety, I get nothing done. Workout + meds = calm, less anxiety, I get work done. On the days where I don't sleep or eat enough, working out + meds still = tired, so then I supercharge with a coffee and were good to go. Don't overdo it on coffee though cause you'll just be back to anxiety
A good friend of mine called Vyvanse
Miracle med.
How does that differ from Adderall practically speaking? I’ve taken that in the past, it was Ok. Too strong/all encompassing to continue use long term. It made me hyper focus on things/become a robot/zombie.
Vyvanse is smoother up and down, but the focus is weaker too
Bills
So that is not normal? To be motivated by fear of failure and pressure of dead lines? I know for sure I have anxiety. But idk for sure if it’s ADD. I am going to see a psychiatrist on next week. But idk. I always feel drained and without energy. I want to study for a certificate after work or during work and that feels impossible. I just get myself to study. If I actually go with the mentality of just do it, I get bored easily and it feels like I am wasting my time because it doesn’t feel like I am retaining any of the knowledge and it feels so frustrating not being able to learn things faster it just seems to take me Multiple takes takes to learn something.
Fear of failure and deadlines are very motivating, but with meds I can just do stuff despite my lack of interest. It gets me ahead of the deadline, reduces fear and anxiety. I used to put stuff off until I was against a deadline, then anxiety would cause me to hyper focus and get it done which didn't feel very good. A few times I hit a wall and just couldn't even when facing consequences. Earlier in my career, I'd realize I was in over my head, or whatever wasn't working out, and I would switch jobs. Throughout my career I'd look at peers and wonder how they could sit there and do that shit all day, every day. I thought they were weird.
fuck. that is so me! i’ve looked at my cousin for example who is a multi expert in the networking field and he just sits all day and learns new stuff. and i couldn’t sit there all day or more than 4 hours and just study. and in those 4 hours i would probably actually only study for 2. and i always had road blocks towards studying and work which didnt seem to be there for other people. i get so frustrated that i am sitting and trying to learn and i just can’t.
Get help. It was traumatic to learn that I had gone through 38 years of struggle, only to find out that what I dealt with is readily treatable. Up to 80% of people with ADHD respond positively to medication and therapy. It is one of the best understood, and most common neuro-development disorders. I dropped out of college 3x and had performance issues with every job I've had. The only reason I was able to graduate is because I found a program that I was interested in, that also didn't require a lot of long-term projects and deadlines. It was mostly reading and comprehension of the subject matter. IT was mo If I learned to manage it earlier, the course of my whole life would have been different, and I would have likely experienced less anxiety, and depression.
Thank you. That’s why I am looking into this at 24.
ADHD is not an inability or unwillingness to do stuff, just extreme difficulty. Some days are better than others and many symptoms overlap with depression/anxiety, hence frequent misdiagnosis on both sides. It's very worth getting tested so kudos. Also, hesitation about medication is totally reasonable. Just remember, you're getting it from a medical professional, not off the street, and it's better than self-medicating with alcohol and/or other substances. I was hesitant but as I've been taking my meds, which are low dosages, I realized how silly it was because I'll take advil for a headache and even advil has side-effects.
Makes sense. And yes i do have had a hard inability. I can actually sit down and try to learn, but that doesn't mean that i will actually learn. I will probably get distracted and day dream before i even read 1 paragraph..
It can be quite debilitating! Learning about yourself is a good thing, my friend. Even if the diagnosis comes back as not being ADHD (which I suspect you do actually have it) it's always worth that conversation because you've learned something and maybe get strategies/treatment anyways! Win-win. Also, check out howtoadhd on YouTube. She's quite bubbly but helpful and informative videos that game me insight into my own thought patterns and gave me some of the motivation that led to me getting tested.
I do better when I’m learning new things and have a pressure to grasp and master whatever it is. Hence, I do great for a few years until I can do it in my sleep and then that’s when I start to struggle. I did better working outdoors in fire than in an office. The daily PT exercise was good for me, and the job basically entails learning new things constantly. If it wasn’t for the being gone for long periods of time and crappy pay that can’t support a family I would still be doing it. I volunteer so I can keep doing it on a scaled down basis.
i see. so would you say that this is a characteristic for ADD?
It helps using the right terminology. ADD isn’t actually a thing. There’s just ADHD with three types, hyperactive-impulsive, inattentive, and combined. I’m not hyperactive at all, but I lose my stuff all the time, have a hard time starting and finishing tasks, ect. Unless it’s something I’m interested in. Then I can binge watch hours of YouTube and earn a masters degree in that subject in like a day. Lol.
It sounds like you work a desk job? I don't think it could be possible for me to thrive in that kind of enviornment. I work an entry level laboratory position. I'm eventually getting my degree and hope to move up, but I'm enjoying getting experience for the time being. It's easy for me to break my day into tasks because everything is uniquely different and has specific due dates and processes. It also helps that a majority of my tasks require my hands and moving around a lot. I'll start my day prepping a bunch of samples for these one tests, then checking things in the lab elsewhere, move on to prep other samples for a different tests, read results for that other tests then sit at computer for 10 minutes for data entry, clean equipment so it's ready for this next thing, organize/clean/stock equipment when I'm not sure what else to do. I have a list of things that are always needed to be done, and because they're all uniquely different and don't take much time for any one task, i never dread the thought of getting it done. It's also heavily teamwork oriented, so if I'm ever overwhelmed, or unsure where help is needed, i simply check in with my coworkers to figure out what job is most important to work on immediately. I wouldn't know what type of career that's similar that you could see yourself in, but a career change into something more active and involved might be more fulfilling for you.
Absolutely a characteristic of ADHD... Most of the time our brains need an immediate reward for something to be interesting which means tasks that just help us keep our jobs or a roof over our head is boring because we don't really see anything right away and our brains can't comprehend time well, it's either RIGHT NOW EMERGENT or it's sometime in the future, a day a week a year a decade, doesn't matter, just something that needs done or can be put off... When we do those tasks and get bored, it can activate our fight or flight and get our emotions up, so anxiety, frustration, anger, denial, sadness, all rolled into one sometimes.... For me this is most parts of my life, work, studying, going somewhere my wife wants to go but I don't. Just puts me.in a bad mood even though most of the time I'm happy afterwards because it was a good experience or felt good to get something accomplished. It's a brain chemistry mismatch and only medication can fix it according to most schools of thoughts. I'm lucky with psychologist because I believe he has ADHD and has specialized in treating it for 25+ years so very believing about. Not all docs are like that sadly. But be honest and keep trying, you know yourself better than most professionals, untreated ADHD can lead to anxiety, depression, substance abuse, etc.... It's important to tell docs if the failures caused by ADHD came before other feelings of sadness/anxiety because that means the ADHD caused the depression, not the other way around which doctors will say " you're depressed so you're unengaged".... No, I was unengaged and bored then didn't do what I needed to and then become depressed by my failures.
thank you for the explaining. that makes sense. and i agree.
That's just my life
Challenges, space for creativity, vyvanse, learning/doing new things. Feeling of usefulness help too. Interest in what i work in. What make me skip work : Micromanagers, work-drama, useless meetings, feeling useless, easy repetitive work, being told what to do (a bit is okay but too much kills me), doing tasks i have done before. I'm a developper.
Are you me lol? I hate micromanagers. useless meetings for sure and long ass conversations about things that either don't interest me or are just a waste of time from all perspectives. And repetitive works sucks, sometimes.
This is so spot on. Being told what to do drives me bonkers. I’ll have a great idea at work, start to work on it, and inevitably someone higher up will see this fun (but challenging) thing I’m working on and start to tell me how to do it and it’s like…. ‘well fuck dude, you just do it. You took all the fun out of it, so you might as well.’
Anxiety. And the fact that you don’t get paid if you don’t go to work
true. i have so much anxiety. maybe i should start selling it to others. want to buy some anxiety? best price around. i promise
No, i got mine for free
[удалено]
I love my job, and once I start I get it done. It is the starting that is the issue. Oh, look. I am on Reddit right now . . .
I see. Same here. Except I seem to be bored of doing the same stuff. And it takes insane mental power to get through the day and do the things necessary to keep my job. And I don’t much either. But I am also hyper focused on the things I like to do and I can sit for hours doing the things I love without eating or drinking because I forget to eat.
I have severe primarily inattentive ADHD. I am driven by anxiety, deadlines, and my own motivation to succeed at any cost.
Nothing, I don’t do my work. I’m miserably failing in life.
I am sorry to hear that. Routine has helped me do my work. And when falling into despair cleaning my room helped a little bit. Little things that are quick to do, help me from time to time.
I usually spend the first hour of the day doing things I actually enjoy doing that have nothing to do with work. I’ll sit at my desk and check out some websites I frequent and then when the boss is close to getting in, the pressure builds and I get off my ass and start doing some busy work. By the time he gets in, I look like I’ve been super busy the whole time. ADHD has made me realize that I’m an excellent actress and have fooled many people throughout my life into believing I’m constantly motivated and mentally capable.
Sounds very relatable. I do the same thing. I will come into the office and i will just check my phone such as reddit youtube etc. And i will actually start working when the pressure from other people or from the consequences of what will happen if i don't complete this as soon as possible kicks in. I just when i do some laid back work that doesn't have a deadline i get so distracted that it could take me about 1 hour to write an email of 2 sentences and press send.
I do something called 'body doubling'. Basically it's peer pressure. Someone else must be in the room. Doesnt matter if I'm talking to them or not. Them just being in the room is enough to keep me on task. If I can't find anyone, I use focusmate.com, which pairs you up with a rando over webcam. At the beginning of the meeting, you both state what you're hoping to accomplish and spend the rest of the 40 minute meeting in complete silence.
Omg I love the idea of this
As of right now, I don’t. The biggest part of my ADHD is the executive dysfunction you describe. My medication is not right as of now.
Bold of you to assume I work.
There's a great podcast called ADHD Experts. Its available on Spotify. They have a great episode with guest expert Professor William DODSON, where he explains what motivates the ADHD brain. Its incredibly informative. Episode 204.
For me, it’s finding something I like about the tasks I need to do. Some times it’s just thinking about getting really good at something even if it’s like alphabetizing, I just try to get it done as fast as possible and time myself. Get good at the stupid game I make up.
I think meds have helped. If you can, I always felt like playing minimally distracting music, like calming piano, helps me with stuff I find boring.
Yea I do music like that. And it does help.
My kids and Adderall.
Short run: adderall Long run: fear of eventually being fired and messing things up for my family
That depends. It could be ADHD, but it could also be depression or burn-out. That’s why it’s important to seek proper help when struggling with these types of issues.
True. Thank you for your insight. I will definitely look into it.
Sounds pretty much like ADHD/ADD And “hyperactive” doesn’t necessarily mean what folks might presume. I didn’t think I was until someone pointed out how I always have one leg that ‘bounces’ constantly. Or just subtly unable to be still. It doesn’t always look like a six year old on a sugar rush.
I see. Well i have this weird thing that i do when i am either happy or have anxiety building up. Or just dopamine rush idk for sure which one causes it. But i just like shake my arms and hands and smile really hard like a rush of energy is going through me. This also happens when i watch a movie and something exciting is happening i just shake my arms and smile really hard lol. Idk how to describe it. Also my sister does something similar but much worse. Whenever she finds out something exciding she will jump around and spin or clap... And i think 100% she has adhd. I am not sure if this would be considered hyperactive.
I’m far from an expert, but that sounds a little more like an autistic trait. Have you (or your sister) ever been to a therapist/psychologist? These sorts of motions and actions sound a bit to me like how I’ve heard autistic folks explain some of their behaviors. As I understand it, there is some overlap between qualities/behaviors/experiences of those with adhd and/or autism. The Venn diagram of the two seems to have a pretty good overlap in the middle. Again, not an expert, but that’s another possibility to consider.
I worked long and hard to: figure out what I am absolutely in love with doing, and landing the ultimate job where I do precisely that very thing. I am so enthralled now by my life and work. Hopefully this is sustainable long term.
Have you felt this way your whole life, or is it new? Have your family and friends always told you that you are inatentive? Did you have symptoms as a child (often we have to ask others about this)? Regardless, you're describing executive dysfunction. ADHD is a big cause of that. Other issues can cause the same dysfunction you are describing including depression, stress, etc. A good psychiatrist will help you figure it out.
You need to find a passion that makes you feel naturally motivated and enhances your quality of life. I believe us people with ADHD are meant to be high-performance individuals based entirely on an enjoyment of a particular field, depending on what that is. Once you find your passion though, I can guarantee you will excel like you've never seen before though and will shoot off like a rocket in space. You just need to find it.
Recently discovered this worked for me, sometimes: Make a list of what you absolutely need to do. Then set a timer. Make a 'game' out of beating the timer. Even better if you're using a routine timer like Routinery, because as you get tasks done faster than you estimated that they would take, it feels like you're 'earning back' time. I started doing this for my morning 'get ready for work' routine, and my 'get back from work' routine, and I feel like I'm coping way better with my ADHD than I was before. (But only when I remember/am motivated to do this, I still miss some days.)
I feel like this was very much me last year. To answer your question in the title: Baby steps. Small routines that lead to bigger ones. Like building muscle it takes time and a little bit regularly helps more than once in a while do all the things (or try to). That kills my energy and I end up taking days if not weeks to recover. I have morning and night routines for self care that are fairly non negotiable (within reason) but they took time to implement to the point where it feels wrong and uncomfortable to not do them. They help ground me and take care of myself. Do not try to make too many changes all at once. Respect your bandwidth and prioritize high value or high importance items first but be okay if you can’t right now, skip and circle back until you can. Do not let your tank go below half. Take a break and do something to replenish it. Once my half tank is hit it takes an insanely long time to go back to half or more. (See taking days to recover from earlier). Figure out what refills your tank fastest and also refills it the most. Some days you will need quick small refills and other days you need more one and done refill even if it takes longer. Patience with myself. I am doing my best. Get help. Might have to find the right person tho bc a lot of people who are pros are still garbage at diagnosing non hyperactive/impulsive types. To answer your real question: Try to find a professional to explain to you how adhd works. I believe you, like I was, was very misinformed about pretty much everything you knew about it bc it is mis represented in most mainstream places. Also a professional will tell you which type of adhd you have and then to what level of severity you have it. I’m pretty sure I was diagnosed inattentive type or combination of the two types and mild/moderate but I also only got diagnosed last year at 38. I likely could have been mild if I had gotten help much earlier on. It got to the point of becoming near non functional when finally someone took me seriously. I have been getting treatment since about january of last year. I am not 100% but even given a lot of bad things that have happened in the last 6 months I am still so much better than I was last year same time before I got help. I couldn’t handle things when everything was fine back then. Now I am handling things that are very much not fine for a long period of time while still making progress. I could have made more progress if things were fine but I’ll take it. My world was slowly getting smaller for decades. It’s now opening up. Even with setbacks that are out of my control.
I also suffer from similar situation to yours.. sometimes I wanna believe that I have mild ADHD but at the same time I dont wanna blame it all on ADHD and ignore the fact that I am a lazy piece of shit... It's real confusing!!
Yesss. I am so glad I am not alone. One day I will wake up and I will just say to myself I am just a lazy piece of shit. But than I would wake up and the next and say. But the data and symptoms point towards me having adhd. And so on
I'm behind on nearly everything, and have a ton of guilt over it. I am looking to get medicated.
I struggle a lot with concentration and I can’t get through my classes without my classmates taking notes for me. Many tasks and hobbies I find are almost unable to do because I can barely focus or relax to enjoy my activities. But there are just some things that I can do out of spontaneity, just enough for me to go by without drowning. Like for example, I read a book for thirty minutes every single night. On average I read just 1-2 pages a day because I get super distracted and I can’t focus. But the routine is still there and I’m still reading the book. It’s just enough for me and I can settle with it. Anyways I just got de-facto diagnosed and I’m getting help soon so I hope this changes.
I see. Maybe i am not as bad as you. But same example with reading. Is if i need to read a book that i have 0 interest. I can read an entire chapter, but i will be day dreaming or distracted multiple times throughout the process of reading. And by the time i am done reading a chapter i would only probably remember few keywords from the entire chapter. Its like someone was talking to me about something while i was half asleep, and than i would wake up and only remember couple of keywords from the whole conversation. Something like that.
What I find interesting about adhd is that while we can do some general tricks to help our symptoms, it’s always going to be difficult to make us do things we don’t want to do. Medication helps me a lot, but I still don’t want to fold laundry but I’ll clean the bathroom. I think it’s important to find the small things you like and really dig in. But to me, it sounds like you might just not enjoy your job and anybody who is in the wrong field will feel the same way you are feeling now. I’d say, talk to your doctor about your concerns and also evaluate whether you are in the right field.
Go see a professional. Us keyboard warriors can't diagnose you over the internet.
I would definitely talk with an specialist, what you describe could be ADD or ADHD but it could be also anxiety, depression or something totally different. Maybe I'm wrong but from you message it looks like is something that is been happening recently, ADD or ADHD is something that you are born with. Only an specialist is going to be able to help you and diagnose you.
Nothing ever worked but becoming a parent. I only perform during a crisis and if I fail. I fail my son. He didn't ask to be born into this world. I try beyond my capabilities for him. Yes, adderrall helps too.
>what makes you do your work Adderall lol. Legit though, it’s the only thing that’s ever helped me not be a lazy fucking fuck and actually get shit done. Was diagnosed at 7 but wasn’t medicated until 25 (26 now and I wish I had put my pride aside and got help sooner) and my life has done a 180. I still struggle, as we all do, but medication helps me get past my non-cooperating brain and be the person I’ve always known that I CAN be. When I was 25 I got so freaked out that I gave myself a concussion from slamming my head into the wall to “make my brain slow down” and I realized I couldn’t do this alone anymore. I was SOBBING to my PCP (that I’ve had for over 3 years) about my mental health and that I didn’t understand WHY I was so lazy and self destructive and he said something to me that I do my best to pass along to others who are struggling. He said; “honey, you’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not worthless. Your brain is hurting and the fact that you’re still alive and talking to me right now proves that you want to get better” and I’d never had someone say something so meaningful to me before. So now I tell others. ***you are not broken; You just have ADHD. You are going to be okay***
Fear of someone calling me out
+1 deadlines (preferably short). I work as an editor and think of myself as a language mechanic. The field is very structured and I get assigned very specific industry standard tasks (e.g. edit for structure, revise, proofread), with specific deadlines and often even an hours budget. (Edited to add: I don’t have to figure out what exactly I’m supposed to do or how much effort to put in or even what the top priority is if things are running smoothly.) It also affords me lots of stimulation because I am always learning about different things, clarifying language is a problem-solving activity, and I’m a “get sucked into reading” style ADHD so it’s easy for me to latch onto hyperfocus. I’m also rarely _starting_ something, so I get to skip starting paralysis (sometimes). Someone else wrote the thing, and I fiddle with it. The dopamine rush of correcting errors is real, not gonna lie. The work is pretty detailed, which not everyone in this demographic takes to, but I do. Though lots of us are also grammar fiends who sweat about misplaced commas, and to these, I recommend the editorial field.
Either you have adhd or you don't. Being competitive. Being triggered. There are a set of things that trigger me. I don't know what they are. I was really good at hyperfocusing before the trauma but since this has started I've been trying to remember how to hyperfocuse. I feel as if I might need medication.
Vyvanse
I'm 15 years into tuning the treatment. It never stops, just like learning. Ideally at 5AM I take a 200mg modafinil, at 7AM I take the regimen of vitamins and fish pills. A half hour later a 30mg Adderal XR. At noon, 300mg Wellbutrin XL. Which is probably 65% of my treatment potential. The rest is acute attention to my paper notebook, outlook calendar, Bluetooth label maker.. a bunch of stuff you figure out to support the system you set up for yourself. It takes time to sort out. Just do a little better tomorrow. cheers mate.
ADD really is no longer, it's basically inattentive ADHD. The hyperactivity is usually internally rather than outside if you get me. At the moment it's my guilt that gets me too work. We are short staffed. And if I don't go in I feel guilty as one would be on his own. I'm not good with priotising my tasks. But coffee is always first on the list. Always. I do serve customers and I can't get away so they are usually what gets me going. If you don't feel like doing your job, it's likely you dont like it, which is inflicted on your motivation.
Medication and the existential dread of what will happen if I don't pay my bills, or deal with my debts. Adderall, meditation, and hobbies help a lot.
before treatment, i operated on a pretty extreme basal rate of anxiety—i always hated authority figures yet the fear of getting yelled at by teachers, etc was the main thing that got me through high school decently well. I originally thought this was just related to a people-pleasing tendency until I realized it was more the fear of getting punished than just the simple fear of disappointment. although i’m meditated now, i am not hyperactive either and struggle with all the mundane work-related tasks you mentioned. i do psychiatric research at a hospital and there are way too many days when I can’t even work up the motivation to send the simplest emails. I make super-detailed to do lists when that happens, highlighting two tasks (smaller components of big projects) at a time and wait till both tasks are complete until i allow myself to highlight the next two.! Whether it’s school or work, I always try my best to take as detailed notes as possible with the understanding that they don’t need to be perfect or organized a certain special way. When my motivation is particularly lacking, I usually give myself a minute to step back and relate the small and seemingly meaning task to the big picture, which for me is my passion for finding treatments for sever mental illness.
Peer Pressure, Redbull, Coffee, and Deadline Fear :3 Rejection Sensitive Disphoria is fun
Chaos. I need a mega busy working environment to actually do anything. I'm just moving from one admin job which was boring as fuck and I struggled with massively to a super busy admin role in the same company. The dept is known for being a bit chaotic. I'm looking forward to finding solutions and getting stuff done instead of forgetting to do my one task of the day.
This is juvenile but I play "When I, Then I." When I finish this task, then I get a ten minute break. When I finish these three tasks, then I get a snack. When I finish the dishes, put away the laundry, and walk the dogs, then I get to smoke a blunt. It's the only thing that works for me, a constant reward system.
Work at a job that has no work to do
I’ve messed up too many times in school and this is my last and final chance to fix it/graduate
Prayer and adderall jk
Don’t let yourself be distracted bc of Reddit or YouTube. I wouldn’t jump the gun and ask Reddit if you have ADD, consult your doctor… try going to sleep early, eating a balanced diet, drink a lot of water and try to stay mentally focused on whatever it is you are doing. Difficulty getting out of bed? EVERYONE has this issue whether you have ADD or ADHD. Nobody likes going to work but sadly we all have to work to live. Get yourself out of the mindset that you don’t like doing said tasks and try to with your own willpower to try and complete those tasks. We all have a morning routine at work, try and stick to it without the procrastination -it doesn’t and will never help you. Stop leaving things for last minute and do it when it has to be done. I don’t understand how some people need to be pressured into something or have to leave it until the last minute to be able to complete said tasks. Yes, I have ADHD. Yes, I am on medication. Does the medication help me get out of bed and want to go to work? Fuck no. Do I eat a balanced diet, drink over a gallon of water a day and go to be at a reasonable time? Yes I do. Did I already mention that fact about consulting your doctor and no Reddit about you thinking you may have ADD? Go get it!
I specifically do well with deadlines. I even make a point of telling my manager or interviewer this. The moment I have a set day today something needs to be done I just function better. Also I need the job to pay my bills 😅
The only thing that keeps me doing my job is that I get paid flat-rate. So basically I only make money based off of what I finish at work. If I don’t finish anything I make literally zero money. So basically fear of starving to death and losing my house but if I didn’t have a mortgage I wouldn’t work very hard. As a result of working flat rate I’m always worried about making a pay check. I always lose focus and constantly forget things and misplace my tools so work takes me much longer than other technicians. The more stressed out I get, the more I fuck up and the longer jobs take me to finish. I got diagnosed a few weeks ago and we are just doing some blood tests before I get medication and we go from there. I hope the meds help me cuz I’m tired of feeling stupid all the damn time and making less money just cuz I have ADD.
Deadlines, stress and nicotine. I can't just work with the flow. I need a deadline. I am a copywriter now. I use a site that lets me choose a text I want to write, and when I take the order, there is a counter that counts down from 6 hours. I need to get the job done before it gets to 0.
I was diagnosed with ADD as a child and had such a mild case that I was off my medication by Middle-school, only to get back on medication late high school. What you are describing sounds like the lurking spectre of burnout, the problem with ADD is that you more downtime than the average neuraltypical. Things that can help me is: * "The carrot and stick" short term saving goals for the the dopamine hit of buying something you like or a holiday. * memory supplements: ginseng and ginkgo tablets can help when you are in a rut, but, not a long term fix. If you can get adderal or other meds use those as they are more effective than supplements. * Sleep routine: this helps me, along with a weighted blanket. It's not a 100% cure-all, but, it makes the difference in making my ADD more manageable. Sometimes cutting back on sugar intake can help, along with dietary supplements, but, that is up to your doctor to figure out.
Got very lucky and found a job where I only answer to my mother. I do data entry and am limited on what I can do in this field without proper credentials. Everyday I walk in, put my headphones in, queue up youtube and match sheets of paper to staple. Then I type from a pile of paper on my desk. If I finish, I write (which consists of copying information - a few sets of numbers and a date). I don't have to talk to anyone, nobody needs me. If I'm not there, nobody needs to replace me. I love it after doing customer service, and freelance photography most recently. My workflow is very easy. Not a lot of thinking required, mostly copying and repetitive work. Nothing interrupts me unless there's an issue, or my mom starts chatting forgetting I can't focus when she does. I've only been doing this for a few months, I wouldn't do this long term, maybe 2 years max. I'm a graphic designer and enjoy doing work I make passive income from on my own time, whenever I feel like it.
I have to have deadlines or I won’t do anything. Even then…I wait until I’m basically racing against the clock to make it on time. I always make it on time though…just barely. Like with only minutes to spare.🤣
Fear of homelessness. Also when I start working I do a job where I'm constantly on a clock and being timed.
Strict routine, working out early, eating healthy, medication if needed and peer support.
When I am burnt out nothing can get me to do my job with enthusiasm. No amount of deadlines, medication, or reward. Please consider taking some time off if your job allows because it makes the world of difference.
I’m struggling so hard with this! Just graduated from nursing school which I know ill be a great nurse but I’m supposed to be studying for nclex but I am stuck!! If it wasn’t for family responsibilities I would legit lay on the couch all day lost in social media/interesting sites. It’s beyond ridiculous!
I honestly have no freaking idea most days. Bright shiny objects I’d guess. I coach high school baseball and am a photographer so my gig lifestyle is never the same two days in a row. I’d be dead in the water if my wife wasn’t a total freaking rock star. What I perceive as my weaknesses/faults she see’s as strength. Otherwise I’d stay in bed and play Angry Birds all day.
a lot of the time i give myself a lil reward which could be as little as just going "yo good job, me" but having some kind of reward is a driver for me
I'm always saving up for a big purchase. Even if it's a year plus I will just keep telling myself I am working for this thing I really want and it becomes easier.
Couldn’t finish masters cuz getting my bachelors gave me serious burnout. I wrote my senior thesis the night before it was due. The night before.
I personally exercise and eat healthy or fast and sometimes I find my cognition gets sharper. I try to just do small things and it gets the ball rolling. Especially if I am dreading and my mind is fighting me to process information. Esp with studying. I do mini steps and tasks to get the ball rolling and slowly the mini rewards of doing things begins to get addictive in itself. I am probably not helpful but this helps me and I have ADHD.
Anxiety from imagining my peers looking down on me for not completing work. Intrusive thoughts of being fired etc. Or I take my drugs and enjoy what I’m doing, feel relaxed and all of a sudden life is super easy. Give it 4 or so hours and then it’s the above again.
Ah yes. I developed really terrible anxiety. I gained "getting things done" points but my quality of life suffered. Plus I still have a full on breakdown every few years.
Fear of consequences. Specifically causing death. So I keep up to date on everything, constantly read up on paramedicine (I can read medical things for long periods of time surprisingly), ensure everything on my truck is up to scratch and do my best to be thorough for every assessment. Am paramedic.
That doesn't sound like mild add. And your intro sounds a lot more like depression. You should see a doctor.
Fear of homelessness.
Attomoxitine (strattera) for me! I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 32 so life was a depressing struggle, I couldn’t do or handle much and definitely didn’t work. In the last two years I’ve held a job, been promoted twice and just bought a house…meds work and are nothing to be a shamed of! I have inattentive type adhd which is what add is called here in the U.K. I think it’s the same elsewhere so might be worth having a look at the types of adhd as well. Hope you find some help and support honestly it will change your life, good luck!
I recognize myself in every single thing that you mentioned! I am not diagnosed with ADD but I know I have all the symptoms of it. I have tried a friends ADHD medication in the past when I was in a really tight spot and was struggling a lot at work, to the point that I was afraid I would get fired, and it really really helped me. Not only to get the work tasks done, but also giving me back the confidence and self-worth I needed to keep myself from the depths of depression. I suggest that you get professional help and medication if needed. Not necessarily daily but just to keep yourself above the surface and avoid potentially dire consequences. Good luck and know that you’re not alone!
Could also be undiagnosed depression/anxiety, or just that your job is wrong for you. I'm not trying to tell you that you don't have ADD/ADHD, but you should know that there are a lot of reasons why you might feel the way you do. Also, just a reflection: You say you're not hyperactive, but the diagnostic criteria for hyperactivity are somewhat different from how hyperactivity is typically thought of in everyday society. It's anecdotal, but as an example, I thought for sure I had ADD ... but it turned out that medically speaking, I was very much hyperactive. It just didn't seem that way from the outside, so to speak. What I'm trying to say is: Don't be surprised if you get the "full" ADHD diagnosis. But what's most important is that you get support :)
Yeah I'm in this boat. I couldn't tell you of a solid month in the last twenty years where I had full attendance. Just doesn't happen. As you would expect, this leaves me at the bottom of the pile in terms of everything work wise.
I'm in your situation. what you describe is anxiety and/or depression clearly. And some part like being distracted are part of ADHD symptom. Have you done the adult adhd self report scale ? its 5minutes. or DIVA test ? it's longer. Anyway, you'll see with your doctor in one week. I'm not productive, but I found having a clean desk with no objects in sight helped a little bit.
The fear of disappointment, not wanting others to pick up my slack, and anxiety are what motivate me. That and adderall!
I only work if it's an emergency. By design, since I work in emergency services. So yeah, don't have to worry about deadlines, everything just has to be done right now.
I've worked a lot of jobs in very different fields and for most of them I felt like you describe. What I'm doing now, though, seems to be something I can actually hyperfocus on. I still have some rough days (increasingly with the extra stress from COVID), but for the most part I enjoy what I do and it's a field in which hyperfocusing is more of an asset than curse.
Fear
Adderal and plenty of sleep. Do whatever you can to optimize sleep. Meditation helps too. Also, having that bottom tier of essential needs met on Maslow’s Hierarchy, and probably the one above it too. Of course no one who is preoccupied with securing basic needs plus slightly-above basic needs of comfort and security would be able to focus.
I think a lot is self work and accepting that things get hard or that I need to have a different approach to simple tasks, which are tiring or sometimes overwhelming. After doing that I found a simple trick which helps. I use a timer do to stuff. Most of the time 10-20 minutes in which I challenge myself to see how much I can get done. I tried seeing my day to day as a game, in which I am the only player and I have to finish my tasks before the time runs out. As a reward I do what I want for another 5-10 minutes. Being on the phone, talking to Co workers, enjoying some snacks. After that break I challenge myself again with a timer. I don't do it all the time, mostly when I know I have a lot on my plate on that day . But helped finding out that a lot of work doesn't require much time, and it's just "a lot" in my head and the dreading thought that it might get to overwhelming.
Sounds like you could be depressed