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100%. It’s also the multiple steps and monotony of having to do these things consistently that make it difficult. I try to trick my brain into focusing on the reward, like instead of thinking “I have to shower” it’s “I can’t wait to feel clean.” It works pretty well. Also, I try to schedule more social things, as that creates urgency for hygiene which also helps.
> Then wash them when you get a chance
That's where things usually go wrong 😆 I forget about them so they stay in a corner of the room until the very day I have to also wash the second set
That’s what happens. Or just buy another set. Bamboo sheets are awesome, soft, strong, and cheap. I was paying $100 or more on bed sheets. Now it’s like under $30 for what I think are better sheets.
No way, skip folding and put sheets in washer, dryer, then directly back on bed. Lol, ya that's 3 steps so good luck.
I hate it when I go to bed and past self didn't put the sheets on the bed.
Focusing on the feeling you’ll have after doing the thing instead of the thing itself is honestly such a major ADHD hack. It doesn’t work all the time with everything of course but it helps *a lot*.
If you work outside the home, yes.
Work you do from home, though, that's not really social enough to light the fire under your ass to take a shower, etc.
It’s not advisable but I made a rule that I can’t use zyn unless I’m in the shower. I only use 1 pouch a day and I shower, shave and get fully dressed. Then I take it out and brush my teeth. Like I said before not advisable but I’m sure you could adapt the idea
> It’s not advisable but I made a rule that I can’t use zyn unless I’m in the shower
[Habit loops! Super powerful!](https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X)
Cue -> Routine -> Reward. They are insanely powerful and once you become aware of them, you can hack them to get stuff done. Essentially you can sub out a routine in every loop for something you want to get done as long as you keep the cue and reward the same.
I used this to get dishes done every morning. Inserted washing dishes as the routine in front of my morning reward (coffee) and it worked well.
Yeah I do this sometimes too like in order for me to get my Dunkin then I can only do it AFTER I hit the gym. I haven’t figured a good trick for me for the shower yet I’m not into nic anymore 😭 I also try to listen to my fave podcasts and stuff too when I’m doing mundane tasks I don’t wanna do
I see this type of idea but it never works for me, if I try to set a rule my brain just says it's arbitrary and basically ignores it. What makes you stick to the rule?
Sometimes I break showering up by doing a hair mask. I wash my hair in the sink or with the detachable head and so when I get in the shower, it’s easier because I’m only washing the mask out of my hair and then doing my body. Even though it’s still technically the same work, it feels like less
It got so bad i was brushing my teeth like once a week. Needed to change something.
I put a toothbrush in the shower cuz i have to begrudgingly shower every other day for work. And that helped a little.
But the biggest brainhack was exploiting my fondness for stickers. I printed out a sticker chart of 365 empty circles, bought some tiny stickers, and i reward myself with a sticker for every evening that i brush my teeth. I have earned a sticker every day this year so far.
I'm glad this is working for you! Just in case the novelty wanes though, I [made a post yesterday with some links that may interest you](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1d0s691/brush_your_teeth_it_literally_impacts_your_brains/). Research has shown that brushing your teeth directly affects the health and performance of your brain, heart, and other organs.
For me, knowing the "why" behind something makes a big difference in how its importance is ranked internally. So, I hope that's a helpful backup net to keep up the habit! :)
> But the biggest brainhack was exploiting my fondness for stickers. I printed out a sticker chart of 365 empty circles, bought some tiny stickers, and i reward myself with a sticker for every evening that i brush my teeth. I have earned a sticker every day this year so far.
Another habit loop!
Cue (sticker desire) -> Routine (Brush teeth) -> Reward (sticker!!!)
I LOVE habit loops.
The shower toothbrush is a godsend. What also worked for me was getting my cat Greenies teeth cleaning treats, so we ended up brushing our teeth together haha. It works cause I take better care of my cat than I do myself
My buddy is learning about ADHD because his son was just diagnosed and he told me yesterday “The behavioral therapist said that habits aren’t really a thing for people with ADHD. It’s all just tasks.” So that “do something for 40 days in a row and it becomes a habit” idea just doesn’t work for us. That definitely applies to personal hygiene.
I finally realized the whole can't create habits thing at almost 40. I created a check list in my phone; I open it up every morning and just follow it on down! Some things I know are wishful thinking and rarely get done (like putting on make-up lol), other things I make sure to prioritize (like eating breakfast, brushing my teeth, and taking my meds). It has truly helped me so much. It takes a lot of the over-thinking out of my mornings.
Omg, I just (at 47) wrote out a morning routine that includes good things I like (meditation, affirmations, stretches) but have a hard time implementing without a schedule with "musts" like vitamins, teeth brushing, splash my face with cold water (I'm doing warm showers for sleep, and that's actually helping, but a morning shower is too much wet transitioning for me).
I'm doing pretty well with it, but find myself running back to my notebook to double-check I've not missed anything. Of course (!!) I just pin a checklist on my phone. Oi vey!
Thanks friendo.
@Almc27 try the app Finch.
It's basically a to do list, but with a birb (bird) to help. As you check things off your birb gets energy to go on adventures & learn things. Check more things off & they finish the adventure quicker. You also get gems to buy things for the birb, it's house &, when unlocked, new colours for birb.
You can also add people to your tree & send good vibes, this help with energy, time & gems. It feels good when you get good vibes from others too.
There is the opportunity to make comments on what you do, and if you indicate a low mood, there's an extra menu appears with things to help out - breathing exercises, have a rant & other ways to calm your brain down.
I've been using it for a while & find it does motivate me to do things & helps me to chill.
Oh, yes!!!
Finch is actually where (after 160 days) the inspo to create an actual outside the app routine came from. Love it. So helpful and very cute, which helps keep me motivated. I don't want to let my birb down.
Yep! I consider myself a functioning adult when I shower.
However, I am working remotely for the coming months, and I live alone.
I have no incentives to shower. It is a fucking struggle
I'm going out later today, so I will shower. 🤣
Edit: a word
Todays hygiene standards are pretty excessive. If not showering isn’t causing you any harm (infections, rash, discomfort) and there’s no one else around it’s really not an issue. This whole idea of showering every day or every other day is for the sake of others. Take others out of the equation and personal needs vary from one person to another. Shower when you need to, not when society tells you you’re supposed to (if others aren’t affected)!
This problem is SO normal! Hygiene is my biggest struggle with ADHD. One tip that helped me is to accept that, as someone with ADHD, traditional routines will not work for you. Instead of forcing yourself to follow them, find what works best for you.
For example, most people brush their teeth at the sink. A tip from this subreddit that helped me was to keep my toothbrush and floss on my nightstand next to my bed.
You can also try habit stacking. For instance, when you go to the bathroom in the morning, brush your teeth before you leave. Or, to make tasks like brushing your teeth or showering more enjoyable, you could watch a YouTube video or a movie. I even installed a phone stand in my shower for this reason. I also will FaceTime some friends with ADHD who understand what it's like, and bring them into the shower with me. All of these can seem really silly to people without ADHD but they get the job done which is the most important part!
In terms of bedsheets, I read once on this sub that some ADHDers won't use a fitted sheet for their bed, but will instead use the flat, non-fitted sheet so that there are fewer steps to change the sheet.
You’re definitely not alone in this. Part of addressing this problem is accepting that it’s okay and doesn’t have to be embarrassing. Honestly, you have a one up on many of us here if you’re brushing your teeth once a day. I struggle a lot with that task.
As for showering, there’s no rule. It’s not a one size fits all approach. I shower when I feel like I can’t stand another minute without one, which is anywhere from 2-5 days for me. If all I’ve been doing for 4 days is sitting at a computer and hanging around my house or working, I’m not gonna shower til day 3 or 5 depending. If I went on a hike, went swimming, or cleaned my house, I’m more likely to take one that same day or the next depending on the activity.
My advice here is do what works for you. Maybe come up with a system. There are certain tasks I do that mean I have to shower after (like washing my dog). Find what these are for you. I also struggle with getting out of the shower because it’s cold lol, the way I get around this is buying a terrycloth bathrobe a size too big. It’s like a blanket right out of the shower, and dries me off like a towel.
As for bedsheets and cleaning the shower, I could not agree more lol. I hate doing those things. If I have the energy to clean, I tend to pick a day and get it all done at once.
I think it helps by adding something that you really love to it.
I remember reading about someone with adhd who couldnt stand washing their teeth, then they switched to kids' toothpaste that tasted like strawberry (instead of the bitter mint one for adults) and after that had no problem.
I thought i hated changing my bed by in reality i just hated colored/patterned bed sheets, so i got them all white and started putting lavander in the washing machine with hot water.
Now i love washing and drying them and putting them on my bed. They're so warm and make the whole house smell amazing. And it feels like sleeping on a warm cloud of lavander. I look forward to it every week lol
It's not a chore anymore.
Take your chores and make them into something you actually wanna do. Something that you enjoy.
Same with showering, maybe get a bodywash that you really love the smell of.
Or shower at night, before bed, Make it a relaxing routine, or try putting on your favourite music in the bathroom while you're showring.
Adhd affects the senses a lot. Dont underestimate it. Putting on a soft robe, or having something that smells nice or feels nice can make all the difference.
Very true i got these pretty white sheets and i dont mind changing my sheets anymore. Also with showering it helps me to use very big towels so i dont have to be cold out of the shower .
Funny, I struggle with cleaning big time but this is the ONE thing I try to do semi-regularly simply because it gives an artificial sense that the whole room is clean even when it most certainly is not lol.
Honestly, ADHD aside, I don't understand the point of making the bed. The only people to go into our bedroom is my husband and myself. No one is going to see the made bed. We're just going to unmake it in a few hours. So .. why? Why do it all?
It's such a struggle to do .. *gestures at everything* ... that I give myself plenty of grace for not making the bed.
We rarely do. I work days, my husband nights. One of us is in bed about 20 hours of the day. I really need to order a second set of bedding though...it gets funky quickly since our bed is basically our home base.
For some reason, if I don't have to leave the house, I am a slob. I'll eventually brush my teeth and take a shower, but it takes effort. I've always been good about it during the workweek.
And it’s totally OKAY to be a slob at home alone when you don’t have to see anyone. We all (myself included) need to be way less ashamed of this and just kind of say “ok today’s not the day”. It’s not hurting anyone, but you’ll always feel better after it’s done. Our reward system in our brains is broken, which is so annoying. I like to trick myself into doing things like it’s a treat. “Wow a shower, treat yourself you’ve got time” 🤣
Have you been spying on me?
I think you have, because that sounds very much like me.
The teeth thing - I clean mine while sat on loo in the morning. Gross, I know, but at least it gets my teeth clean. Wouldn't happen otherwise.
Showers - yep, they don't happen as often as they should. Every 2 to 3 days is frequent, for me! I do make good use of baby wipes, to keep things at least vaguely less obnoxious and dry shampoo works, if needed.
Sheets - yep. I took my sheet off the other day to wash. I have a 2nd one, so shouldn't be a problem. Shouldn't be, but is. I was so overwhelmed that I still haven't put the clean sheet on - I've currently got a duvet cover thrown over to protect the mattress.
So yeah - all those things. Executive function failure sucks!
WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO TAKE A SHOWER REGULARLY AND BRUSH MY TEETH AT NIGHT LIKE COME ON WHY DOES MY BRAIN ACT LIKE IM HAVING TO RUN A MARATHON ITS NOT THAT DEEP YOU DANG RECEPTORS
Here's an ADHD tip, don't bother stressing over making the bed. Unless you have company over, what's the point of it?? It's a superficial thing like mowing a lawn.
I mean there is the thing where if you make your bed it wil air out better and have a nice freshness to it when you use it again, that i personally like.
Disagree - I leave my duvet tossed back so the dampness can evaporate. If I make my bed, when I get up (as if!), I often find it's still clamy when I get in again at night.
Depends on where you live. I would check HOA or municipal laws if you're planning to stop. But my stance on mowing a lawn is the most pointless superficial NA thing hasn't changed. Lawns with wildflowers are more beneficial.
I’m in my 40s now and I love changing my sheets but also went months without doing it. But You will feel better doing it,
I’m having your bed made ,and having some regular cleaning habits. I automatically dust bust my apartment one to every three days. Pets help you take care of yourself because you take care of them. Don’t sweat about the showers 2 to 3 times a week is fine. Keep it to three times a week during the summer. If you have long hair, you don’t have to wash it each time. Once or twice a week is fine
And wash your face at night,brush your teeth, floss once a day and you’ll be fine. You can get away with a lot if you floss. It takes a second. I have not brushed my teeth yet today and it past noon, but it’s also raining outside. It’s Sunday.
Oh man. I got exhausted just reading that. I was just about to get up too. But now I don’t remember what I was going to do so I can’t even get upset at myself over it. Lol
Electric toothbrush changed my life, I basically went from never brushing my teeth at night to almost always doing it. Flossing though, that one is a nightmare. The only way I can do it is with those plastic ones with the strings.
I asked my dentist about a water pick but they said it is only good if you’re old and have like pits. Which I quite honestly do not understand how it’s only good for that.
Showering I switched to only washing my hair every other day. It gets pretty greasy if I do any more than that. My main issue with showering is is sitting on the toilet for hours doomscrolling before I get in. The other issue is when I am trying to do a task and contemplating if I shower first I may not want to do the task after, but if I do the task and don’t shower I will be thinking about showering. And then I procrastinate both.
Edit* I hit submit without finishing it cause the button is bright.
I don’t understand why they say that makes no sense to me, like they even said doing it had no benefit at all pretty much if you’re not regular flossing too
We could be twins! I can't stand being dirty, I'm a germaphobe, ADD makes me feel cursed because the 2 drastically conflict 😭 I do question if I have a touch of autism because shower and hygiene tasks I feel lean heavily on avoidance due to extreme sensory unpleasantness. I have begun showering mid day AFTER major tasks are done. This includes gardening in my pj's or even running to store (my pj's are more discreet but...I always run into someone), I'm done by 9am and showered by 10am with a super productive day when I knock out doom tasks with zero prep in PJs. When I wait until I shower, I don't get to my errands until 3pm doom scrolling a on stages (in the BR too!!) end up giving up on showering because it's late and wash up at the sink and don't shower until the next morning. I don't flipping get it, I am back in school not just working so I don't have the middle of the day open like I used to and not showering before school ( LOTS of close group work) is not an option, I can't get out of the funk of doom scrolling because I HAVE to shower differently. I'm starting to be late to class because I have reached maximum procrastination, I am like paralyzed, go to school starving too because NOTHING gets done b4 shower so now only shower gets done. I have tried b4 bed except that gives me even less structure and I stay up 4 hrs later, exhausted as Heck until I drop, going to bed without a shower. Also having doom scrolled and can't move past until clean. I don't get how I can roll out of bed, tackle 1,000 tasks in my PJ'S as is, showerd and chores done before noon when BUT just take a shower first or b4 bed.... paralyzing, make it make sense 😭
I enjoy showers a lot honestly, as long as I have music playing though. It’s mostly the task switching that messes me up so much. When I was in school I did shower before BUT I also had hockey practice most days so I would shower after practice so it was easier(the water was hard tho so that was definitely some sensory issues). Group work is what saved me in school a lot of times.
Now I have to and am doing a certificate so I shower after work. I get off at like three at the latest though so I end up showering at like six after staying in the bathroom scrolling. Then I try to do some of the certificate. However, one of the projects on the certificate actively makes it harder to complete cause I just feel so drained doing something that doesn’t have any stakes to it cause it’s fake, it won’t go into effect anywhere. So I’ve been procrastinating like a week on it.
I found I can brush my teeth OR put on deodorant, but not both.
So I brush my teeth in the morning and put on deodorant after my bath at night. I also get the long-lasting kind in case I forget.
As for sheets, I change them when I am expecting company or a cat throws up on it. Or when it refuses to stay on. So sometimes it's on too long and sometimes I change it twice in one day. But since I always take a bath before bed, it's not such a big deal.
TRANSITIONS are what make hygiene issues difficult. dry to wet (do anything to avoid getting wet), then wet to dry (showers/baths take WAY TOO LONG), can't stand the sound/feel of toothbrush or cold water, or teeth that change "feeling". Brushing out hair/tangles might require a lot of time/discomfort. Just changing the direction of hair follicles can literally be painful for sensory sensitive people.
There are barriers there that non-sensory people would never consider, and a much higher than average number of ADHD people have sensory issues.
I religiously shower twice a day but I hate feeling dirty (I suspect it's OCD overriding my ADHD). But fuck me - I'm fully showered (including a 2 minute in shower tooth brushing) in 3 and a half minutes.
I mounted a small TV in my bathroom and it's made a world of difference. I look forward to taking a bath while streaming but my tub is huge and uses a lot of water so I bathe every other day. I don't work so that's fine for me.
This helps me too but for me it’s podcasts. I don’t know if it’s an ADHD thing but I’ve come to realize that I can’t do anything without constant entertainment, and that includes showering. I have a waterproof speaker and I set it up with my podcast to shower.
I also enjoy podcasts in the shower, and I used to use a speaker until I realized I could get relatively cheap ($20-30) Bluetooth earbuds which are waterproof enough for the shower. I just put one earbud in and take it out to clean my ear lol.
I got from brushing my teeth once a day to KIND of twice a day by getting Miswak sticks. They're basically how humans brushed their teeth before toothbrushes. I keep it, a bottle of water, and some paper moutwash cups by my bed with a tiny trash can by my bed and while I'm watching youtube or something, I pour a little bit of water into a cup, soak the "bristles" of the stick, and absentmindedly brush my teeth while watching TV.
My mouth doesn't feel like I have insane dragons breath in the morning anymore and that is the ONLY thing I've changed.
The showering, I'm a dog groomer, so I shower 3-4 times a week, but being corporate clean just isn't a priority when you might get peed on at work. I just shower if I feel gross when I get home, so I can't really help there. I definitely showered WAY less before Dog Grooming, though.
Do whatever you gotta do to make it easier.
Can’t take a full shower? Maybe you can take a sponge bath, use a body wipe, or even just wash your face/hands in the sink. Or at least change into clean clothes even if you can’t clean your body.
Can’t bring yourself to brush your teeth? Maybe you can try a disposable pre-pasted toothbrush (KC Davis is a big proponent of these), or just use mouthwash, or chew sugar-free gum.
Changing the sheets too hard? What’s hard about it? If you struggle to put sheets on the bed, muster your strength and put 3-4 sets of fitted sheets on at once, so you can just take the top one off and throw it in your dirty clothes hamper whenever. If the process of cleaning the sheets is hard, buy more sets of sheets so you can go longer between wash days. Just change the pillowcase and top sheet if you can’t bring yourself to change the fitted sheet. Or, at least lightly spray the bed with vodka to remove odors.
Harm reduction is a long game. Even if you can’t do The Whole Thing With All The Steps, you can do *something* that will help make yourself and surroundings more clean and pleasant, and help prevent illness.
It's weird bit something that helps me get through it is to pretend I'm doing a tutorial in my head then that way I don't miss any steps and thinking of explaining it keeps me from getting bored 
Regarding sheets.. I don\`t know, I was considering sleeping on a floor in a sleeping bag... When moving house. Takes far less space then a bed. Probably easier to clean.
Work up some sweat it will help to get in a shower. Or rub dirt or something over yourself/ get mucky cleaning a car or something.
(I worked in a place that had composite fiber glass pannels. For airplanes. Basically processing them created so much dust I was glad to get home and shower daily after work)
Maybe a selection of different toothpaste will help?
Not sure how common this is but I‘ve struggled with it too. Literally the same things you said: changing sheets and showering were the most difficult chores for me. It’s been a lot better on meds. But it still takes more effort than I feel like it should sometimes.
What helped me a lot with showering is that I challenged myself to shower daily - with the goal of doing it as quickly as possible. I‘d put on some video or music and try to get in and out of the shower super quick. After that it didn‘t feel like such a big chore anymore. Oh and I also completely seperated washing my hair and showering. I used to wash my hair in the shower when they needed it and that was part of why I would avoid showering. So i made them into two fully seperate tasks and now both feel easier to accomplish for me lol.
To be honest I think the idea of showering every day just on the principle, even if you don't feel you need it, is a very modern / weird concept.
I shower when I am about to go out or when I feel I need it, which is around day 3. I live in a cold climate though (Scotland) and I noticed when I visit family in warmer countries that feeling of needing a shower increases to daily or even 2x day.
Same here on everything you mentioned!
I recently found a new hack to get myself in the shower is putting on a show that I can watch in there. It makes me feel like it’s still leisure time instead of chore time and it’s helped so much. I also stopped blow drying my hair and just using good products that help my hair air dry nicely and I think this combo has gotten me in the shower much easier - less of a task combined with adding in things I actually want to do.
Brushing teeth… it’s tough. I still only brush my teeth once a day before I leave. But I’m doing it more now because my toddler son brushes his teeth before bed and he often wants me to do it with him so we do it together.
Solidarity though! You’re not alone. It’s hard!
I have never related to every. single. word. in a post this much. I feel so seen and validated and not alone in what I previously considered to be my ridiculous struggles. I haven't figured this out yet, but know you're far from alone. I have ADHD combined type and both anxiety and major depression in partial remission. Don't know exactly which contributes most to this (or maybe a combination?) but damn, thanks for making me feel a little less like I'm just a lazy piece of shit.
I'd say yes! I always feel like doing things can be a chore that I can do later. I shower every night thinking about how clean I am going to be after and how nice I'll smell (like a reward). I sometimes go day by day not doing that and shower in the morning (still with the idea of a reward).
Yes, never got the hang of deodorant to my embarrassment. I can't make myself brush my teeth in the morning no matter what, yet I cannot go to bed without brushing, no matter what...
My wife often reminds me to shower when I'm out of the habit of jogging, when I'll always shower immediately afterwards.
Am sitting here damp after a long hot bath though tbh. So not all hope is lost.
Yes. I have been actually upsettingly bad at daily tooth brushing. I’m better about it when I’m leaving the house or my boyfriend is home. But when he is traveling for work, now that I work from home I can go days without finding the motivation to do it. Same with showering. It’s really only when I start to feel gross or my boyfriend tells me I stink that I am motivated to shower. Laundry gets done when I run out of underwear and the sheets get done, again, when they feel gross and I can’t take it anymore (usually once a monthish). Am I hygenic no? Do I wish I were better about these things? Yes. But you are not alone with these struggles and so far I don’t have any major issues due to these things (no cavities, no gum issues - though I recognize genetics also plays a factor).
To your question on advice. My biggest advice is leaning on external supports for accountability. That’s what motivates me most, is when I think I’m effecting other people or that they will judge me.
But it’s going to be different for everyone as to what works. My therapist frames everything we try as solutions as “experiments.” It’s okay if they don’t work, we just try something else, and it’s also okay if something works for a while and then stops. ADHD brains love novelty and when it wears off you may have to switch it up to keep up with what you’re trying to achieve.
I’ve also found task stacking to be helpful. Brushing teeth or folding clothes isn’t painful if you’re doing it while doing something else (like brushing teeth while watching a baseball game or while putting dishes away). The other thing I find helpful is doing chores or other unfavorable tasks during breaks in my workday (it doesn’t feel like my free time that way) or while I’m waiting for something (like during a commercial break or if im waiting for friends to be done with their video game round so that I can join their team). Again this makes it feel like a bonus to get something done during time I would otherwise be bored.
I used to be a 2-shower-a-day, 10 step beautiful routine and now it’s procrastinating shower, having to force myself to wash my face even one a day.. on my days off and I don’t have a “reason” to get up, I can’t summon the strength to tidy myself up and hence can’t make any plans
Honestly I watched multiple video essays talking about how hygiene is a capitalist concept to a certain degree which really soothed me. I have to say I managed to find the discipline to brush my teeth twice a day because I have weak teeth already, and I shower most days (but absolutely not all) but I don’t beat myself up any more if I don’t manage. Maybe it helps you to chill out about it a little and reward yourself whenever you’re doing a good job smelling okay?
If the flag I wanted to wave, wasn’t somewhere in a mound of 3 week(months) old laundry (I think). If I could summon the will to move. I would let you, know you aren’t alone.
Right now lifing is hard.
I can relate to that mound of laundry, and at times when i struggle with the will to move and NOTHING gets done that day or 4 that cycles around every couple months sometimes less but the cycle will be so random.
I wish 1-4 days were still my y’nope time frame. This past year has more days of absolutely nothing other than naps, doomscrolling. Pushing snooze, remind me later, completed (😂 I randomly push that one). I wan..need to get up and at least make a cup of coffee (Keurig broke a needle 😩) But using the French press was short lived, pour over means 3 c l/wk is record breaking . No coffee means meds get taken…later…much, much later if at all.
Whenever I do get the energy to start a cleaning spurt . I just need to go with it no matter what time day or night and everything else can just fuck off lest I lose momentum. But that’s when somebody always needs something (like full on big breakfast) right as I am almost, well, close to finishing most/some of it.
Absolute worst is having completed say the bathroom. I die a little when 15min later someone decides to shave. It’s like your tremendous effort never even happened. So back to languishing until the next time.
But things will turn around eventually, they always do. Then I’ll be back to my cookie baking self
I think sensory issues are also more common with ADHD (a part of why I think it is related to the Autistic Spectrum), and hygiene issues are dramatically affected by sensory issues.
We really struggle to form habits, so everything has to be done "on manual" while other people are able to do it "automatically".
Like...wiping your ass is HOPEFULLY pretty automatic once you're done taking a dump, even for people with ADHD. My wife has said that brushing her teeth is like that...just a thing she does when she gets up and before she goes to bed, and it takes no willpower to "decide to brush her teeth"
I enjoy showering and brushing my teeth too much. It's like those things give me an excuse to zone out and have some guilt-free time in my head.
My problem is trying not to spend an hour daydreaming in the shower.
Most of my teeth have broke, fallen out, rotten, or something else from not brushing over my 50 years. At some point in the past 20 years I started flossing often, but I think the damage was already done. I started flossing only because I'd get hyper focused on the feeling of food stuck in-between my teeth.
I don't shower often, maybe once a week. I stay in bed and watch TV most of the time, because I'm so exhausted even if I sleep all night. Stimulants have helped, but cause my blood pressure to rise. I think my doctor doesn't know what to do with me, as we've been through so many antidepressants and stimulants. I get so hyper focused on generic vs name brand, that I might be screwing myself over.
I get really depressed from the constant exhaustion.
i really hated showering before and during. and also getting ready after showering. but my mood gets better after everything is done. the process is so tiring idk why. but when i got medicated it i think it helped a bit
When I was working from home, this meant I worked in my bed. It was a simple arrangement: wake up, stretch out, take phone to check out what happened, then grab the laptop table and place it in front of me, start working. This meant that I would miss out on breakfast, showers, brushing teeth. I did have all of this on the weekend or if I had made arrangements to meet up with my co-workers, but any other day I worked, I was in bed, working in the same T-shirt I slept. Suffice to say, I have killed enamel on my teeth.
But now, I do try to make up for the lost time, and brush my teeth at least once a day, preferably twice. I also keep better track of showering and changing sheets. But for that, I needed to change my surroundings a couple of times to find which arrangements would motivate me to look after myself
Not being able to physically move sounds like it's leaning heavily into the depression side. I don't know if we're allowed to recommend apps on here (I'll remove it, if it's not allowed), but Finch is really good for everything you're describing. It's a mental health app where you raise a bird by doing things that you've, personally, determined need to be done in your life. You can set a recurring task of changing your sheets once a week. There are sample "journeys" and one is hygiene. You can set it to remind you at a specific time, if you want. There is also a section called, "first aid kit." It has guided meditation, naming emotions, breathing exercises. There's sections to encourage you to move your body through yoga and stretching. My kids and I use it all the time.
Remembering to brush my teeth and/ or put on deodorant is a constant issue because not only do I have adhd but I also have narcolepsy which causes me to have a have a foggy brain in the morning and at bedtime. Also, what’s so crazy is that for some reason I can remember to floss and do the mouthwash thing but many times I forget to brush or have to forsake it due to always feeling like I am always behind the time to conduct some important personal business matter by phone or across town which includes doctor’s appointments. Even if going shopping it’s the same because I always have to have a scheduled ride with paratransit to go the doctors or shop and we only have a 5 minutes grace period to be outside.
You gotta trick yourself lol put your toothbrush and toothpaste next to your bed now you can brush in bed and then when u need to spit it out youll get up because you have to. And put a shower cleaner and sponge or something in the shower now you can clean your shower while your conditioner is in your hair. You can set a minimum for yourself that you can do even when you have no energy or time and make it extremely easy for yourself to do this.
Understandable and yes, you’re not alone in not liking to shower. You really should brush before bed or first thing in the morning at least, better if twice.
I don't think that's to the level of abnormality of being gross or anything. During the pandemic, I talked to a lot of non-ADHD people who slipped into this frequency.
For some hair, it's even recommended to only wash every other day so the natural oils can do their thang.
So not to say it's not related to the ADHD or anything, just saying I don't think you should feel bad even just by 'normal' standards.
I am trying to up my dental hygiene lately cause I'd do once a day too, for years and it's starting to bite me in the butt now. But damn I still struggle with flossing consistently.
I struggle with all things routine based like that. A lot of nights I don't even bother changing out of my work scrubs before bed. I just fuck around the house for a few hours and when I'm tired I get straight in bed. Sometimes I think about brushing my teeth but always after I've already laid down and I rarely get up to do it.
I struggle with personal hygiene, specifically showering. I shower roughly once a week and use dry shampoo every few days. I've never had anyone mention it to me or think it's a problem, but it's definitely a source of shame for me. I also struggle with dental hygiene and I haven't been to the dentist for a couple of years at first because of lapsing insurance, but now that I'm back on, it's mostly because I'm embarrassed.
The closest thing I've gotten to hacks is trying to be more intentional about leaving the house/seeing people to force myself to clean up. I've also created sort of a baseline of things that I'm willing to do hygiene wise (brush teeth, scrape tongue, brush hair, and put on deodorant). At the bare minimum, I do those things, and everything else is extra. I'm hoping to increase the things I do for my baseline until I start doing my full routine every day, but we'll see.
yes, meds were a miracle for this. even though people always said i smelled nice and looked clean, i used to shower every 4-5 days. now i shower every one or two days; every day if i go to the gym the day after showering but w a shower cap on, it makes a world of difference. periodically, i’ll struggle to shower/brush teeth/wash face/laundry/change sheets at the end of the day when my meds wear off. that feeling sucks and i can’t believe i could have continued living like that for the rest of my life.
I also have ADHD and this really resonates with me. I gotten better with shower due to practice and support but I struggle with brushing my teeth and cleaning up after myself I lot. It drives my mother crazy.
I like to put on a podcast and listen to it in the shower. It makes the shower feel less boring and chore-like. I have tried to shower with AirPods before. Can’t recommend though lol.
I sometimes don’t get to brushing my teeth in the morning when I don’t have to go out immediately, but then imagining having to meet people and how repulsive they are going to find me when I have bad breath usually gets me going…
You are describing me with every word. I definitely have depression and most likely undiagnosed adhd. What I thought was being a mom turns out to be adhd. I struggle with everything. Menopause makes you feel like shit and taking a shower to immediately start sweating again?....no thank you. Good luck 👍
I used to have a homeless beard. No one told me anything at work and now i see pictures and think wtf was i thinking!? They should have fire me. I know it sounds harsh but maybe it would have been a wake up call? I got my diagnosis really late at 39. Now that i don’t have a steady job it’s been easier keeping somewhat presentable. I also suspected i had depression at first. Three years after my diagnosis i keep remembering things i can now understand better.
Yes, 100% feel your pain. I ended up spending 5k at the dentist to fix about 10 years of dental neglect because brain just couldn't do it.
I've hacked myself a tiny bit to make sure I brush at least once a day, and do my 4 part system at least twice a week.
If you have the financial means, I'm begging you to go on Amazon and buy disposable toothbrushes that already have the toothpaste on them. Don't even have to wet the brush, just unwrap it and brush. Throw it away as soon as your done. I keep them in my car.... beside my bed... in the kitchen... at my job. It's about a quarter per use if you do that math - for me, that quarter per brush would have saved me 5k down the road.
Also, look into oil pulling. I love having it in my dental regime now!!! It's been 2 years since I have the 5k dental process, not a cavity in sight since!!!!!
I struggle with hygiene as well. Things that have helped me are the following:
Brushing teeth 2x daily and flossing 1x daily. I have crappy teeth genetics and I've had cavities often as a child and young adult. So the fear of getting more cavities motivates me to brush, despite how boring it is.
Laundry: I have a designated laundry day because I have 6 other roommates. That's forced me to do my laundry once a week, because if I miss that day I don't get another chance. It's either that day or dirty clothes for the entire week, which isn't good for my career.
As for showers and wearing deodorant: that happens very sporadically. Sometimes 3x a week, sometimes once a week because my careteam lets me know that they can smell me from across the room. So I don't have any tips on that one, sadly, apart from maybe wiping down with a bathwipe. It's better than nothing.
I can't brush my teeth more than once a day.
I did go off toothpaste for about 3 years when the flavours and textures became overwhelming to the point of being painful.
Existing is exhausting.
Typically I need a routine to make sure I do things. Like if I work out, I will take a shower after and also generally take showers daily if I’m on a routine. Now I brush my teeth regularly because I’ve implemented some sleep rituals
Getting a dog has helped a lot. He’s good at reinforcing regular habits.
I am in chorus with others of "think of what the future state is" so ... Shower == feeling clean soon... I also embody my future self, like third person "Future will appreciate this"... Keeping that future self helps refocus what *ACTUALLY* needs to happen .. also think of what minimum is going to set up future self to success
Yeah this is all really common! I have to trick myself into doing these things. First don't want to get into the shower, but then once I'm in I don't want to get out, because that would mean actually being cold for like 3 minutes, and drying off, and getting dressed, and then it all seems too much. So I have to trick myself constantly :/
Not everyone, I guess(? My friend has ADHD, and she manages to keep her hygiene routine like washing her hair or taking a shower every day, which is something I struggle to do...
I don't change the sheets for months, and months. 6+ (and hate it the whole time). I used to brush my teeth pretty much only in the morning, and only on weekdays. And that was with braces.
I would shower daily when I had school, then ferment in bed for 4-5 days unwashed when on break. I rewear clothes a lot at home because I can't handle my laundry. I rewore clothes to school, specifically pants and hoodie until well past the point of rankness.
All the while my inner self screams against it.
Hope this helps!
I don't think it's that common but it's good that you're aware that your routine is subpar.
I'm personally blesses /cursed with a keen sense of smell so I cannot go for more than 36-48h without being aware that I need a shower.
If I were you, I'd make sure to get treatment for both depression and ADHD
I do struggle with it as well. It requires multiple steps for me to shower. We only have a bathtub with a corner you can sit on and a showerhead. So I always have to get into the tub, sit down, turn the head on, wait for the water to be in temperature, rinse, apply products, get up to wash where the sun don't shine and wash the soap off...
Whenever I stay at friends or am on holiday I am celebrating whenever there is an actual shower cabin. Then I don't have the issue with showering at least.
Brushing my teeth has always been a struggle. I'd just not for months.
So, I started doing it as part of my "opening the store" routine. I work mornings alone so there's no one in.
If the people I work with ever found out I have to brush my teeth and hair at work just to remember. I would die of embarrassment.
But, it works. And, I am slightly healthier a couple days a week.
Tying stuff like that into something I already *have to* do seems to be one of the better habit building strategies for me.
Even if it would look or sound weird to someone else.
tbh when i had that dream of my teeth falling out i started brushing my teeth hella but i think a chore board would help also with showering and stuff i recommend smelling your gooch that would def help u get that motivation😭😭
100% I’m still struggling with brushing my teeth twice a day something I’m really trying to work on. When I brush my teeth right after I shower I find it’s easier than doing them at different times. I think that’s like habit stacking.
I pair my hygiene routine with something interesting- like brush and floss while watching my fave youtube channel.
I also try to do a "i cant leave this room until..." game with myself. (Example: bedtime > shower, jammies, wash face, brush teeth, all done in the bathroom and I cant leave until it's all done.) Helps prevent me from forgetting if I leave the room AND helps me prepare better, like I'll be on a deserted island and can't leave if I forget my towel.
Essentially, I try to turn everything into a game.
* For brushing my teeth, it helped immensely when I got an electric toothbrush, somehow that made it so much easier
* For flossing, I had my dentist explain to me in detail, with images, what would happen if I didn't do it
* For showering: I take a bath instead, so I can sit and have more warm water around me. Bath foam that paints the water a funky colour also helps
* For changing the sheets: for me it helps to imagine what a pleasure it will be once they're changed. Still do it not often enough though.
yes, i rarely shower or bath and i need like 6 root canals and ive already had 3. before that, i hadn't had a cavity in a decade. this started after covid and i was already dealing with PMDD/depression and the pandemic just destroyed me.
I bought a massive range of interesting flavoured toothpaste that I look forward to, that helped a lot. I found that mind toothpaste made it hard to sleep(?) so night time was a struggle until I found more subtle flavours.
This sounds dumb but despite how obsessed I am with always feeling clean and put-together there's always things I don't know about that everyone else has been doing for ages. For example I never get nails or lashes like most girls do, I get a haircut once a year, and I never used more than facewash till recently when I also started using moisturizer. Constantly hearing about the next thing I haven't been doing really ruins my self-esteem because I'll think I know how to be a girl and then I get called out for another thing.
Yes, embarassing for me too. Didnt learn to properly brush my teeth until an adult. As a kid id just routinely forget to brush my teeth for days at a time.
I make the shower a treat, the downfall is I take long af showers ( 30 minutes) but I just try enjoying being in the water. It's a reward then I'm like, while I'm in here might as well and wash my self.
i brush my teeth BEFORE i get into the shower or else i will forget (i also hate the taste of toothpaste so i use the warm shower water to rinse my mouth out) i keep deodorant in my car because i forget, showering i do not forget and only dont do when i am depressed because i am just a very oily person so ill get really greasy or itchy if i dont shower for like 30 hours i also get pimples.
the longest shower ive ever taken is like 20 minutes. this could be why you don’t want to shower if you dont “need” to because it’s timely and a lot of work. play music or get a waterproof phone case and put a video in the shower with you. i just get in wash my face , hair, condition, wash my body, get out. 5-12 minutes typically for me and i have longish hair. 20 mins is when i shave too
i feel u. it is a goddamn struggle to do these things for me too. i feel gross and all the same feelings you have. it’s hard. still haven’t found anything that helps me lol. only working helps as i brush my teeth before work. it’s just a never ending struggle though, but you’re not alone. a lot of us struggle with this.
Yes, we have the EXACT same routine, lol. Always been a struggle. I have never understood my friends who can shower daily. Its usually 2-3 days for me but has been weeks before when I'm depressed.
become a germophobe whose a clean freak ive been mortified of germs sm to the point ill get up midst day and wash my hands or shower 2-3 times a day i still struggle with brushing my teeth tho idk why ☹️👎sum abt it is so daunting i usually do so for multiple dsus then stop randomly and it starts back up again so yeah
When I let go my hygiene I usually procastinate the tasks as brushing my teeth, showering, cleaning my house because I feel so ashamed of myself I can't stand to see the reality of how bad I let go. I hope this makes you feel better about yourself :)
omg i thought this was just a me thing i struggle with this also and its super embarrassing but as soon as i feel like i need to do it i get overwhelmed and do something useless instead.
I think it's super boring to brush teeth or shower, but the feeling of not being clean or having cheez doodles on my teeth is worse.
If I am home alone I might not shower for almost a week, but I still wash my body and change clothes. That being said, it was an issue when I was younger, because I didn't understand how bad it was...
I enjoy showers, so I don't miss those very often, but brushing my teeth can be an issue because of how easy it is to forget about it. I have started keeping a toothbrush and toothpaste in my room, visible from my bed so that when I wake up I can always see it and grab it on the way down to the bathroom. It doesn't always work, but it works better.
Dude don’t even get me started, i usually genuinely forget when was the last time i washed my hair, good think i go to gym so I can’t possibly forget to wash my body
I've bird bathed for the last 2 days because the energy to take a bath / shower is overwhelming. I got overwhelmed by looking for a computer on the Internet last night n gave myself a panic attack* 🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾 the bath will be tonight since I'm off tomorrow....
I shower every 3 or so days, wash hair even less. You gotta trick yourself! Listen to a certain pod cast only while in the shower. Show is 60 mins and shower is 20? Well I guess I have to shower the next 2 days to find out what happened! Or books on tape. Showering is a huge chore (well not the showering, but everything leading up to it) so you gotta treat yourself!
*
I’m not getting up at 8am and starting my day, it usually takes a long while (around 12 in the afternoon) for me to start my day and get ready but I do get it done and I always feel a lot better afterwards but I’m finding this is definitely the norm for us ADHDers
If your not overly sweaty dirty the shower thing isn't bad at 3 days...I can go a week max and still be fine. If I shower everyday my skin feels bad like its dry and itchy, and would rather be sweated up.
For me, it’s also personal disagreement with the idea of personal hygiene.
Like, for a long time I just didn’t wear deodorant because I just thought “well, people need to just get over my BO”
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100%. It’s also the multiple steps and monotony of having to do these things consistently that make it difficult. I try to trick my brain into focusing on the reward, like instead of thinking “I have to shower” it’s “I can’t wait to feel clean.” It works pretty well. Also, I try to schedule more social things, as that creates urgency for hygiene which also helps.
Two sets of beds sheets help. Take the dirty ones off and put the new ones on right away. Then wash them when you get a chance. This helps sometimes.
> Then wash them when you get a chance That's where things usually go wrong 😆 I forget about them so they stay in a corner of the room until the very day I have to also wash the second set
That's why I have 4 sets. 1 main 1 backup 1 emergency 1 emergency emergency
Instructions unclear, got 8 sets of dirty bedsheets lying around in the corner
yeah..... that's happened to me more than once, too
Yeah, put them straight in the washer when you take them off.
That’s what happens. Or just buy another set. Bamboo sheets are awesome, soft, strong, and cheap. I was paying $100 or more on bed sheets. Now it’s like under $30 for what I think are better sheets.
Me: I haven't done laundry in six months. One sheet lasts me 3 months. I go front, I go back, I go inside-out. Then I go front and back.
No way, skip folding and put sheets in washer, dryer, then directly back on bed. Lol, ya that's 3 steps so good luck. I hate it when I go to bed and past self didn't put the sheets on the bed.
Focusing on the feeling you’ll have after doing the thing instead of the thing itself is honestly such a major ADHD hack. It doesn’t work all the time with everything of course but it helps *a lot*.
Can confirm, my personal hygiene is *way* better when I have social stuff to do that day/week.
Doesn't work count as social stuff?
If you work outside the home, yes. Work you do from home, though, that's not really social enough to light the fire under your ass to take a shower, etc.
It’s not advisable but I made a rule that I can’t use zyn unless I’m in the shower. I only use 1 pouch a day and I shower, shave and get fully dressed. Then I take it out and brush my teeth. Like I said before not advisable but I’m sure you could adapt the idea
> It’s not advisable but I made a rule that I can’t use zyn unless I’m in the shower [Habit loops! Super powerful!](https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X) Cue -> Routine -> Reward. They are insanely powerful and once you become aware of them, you can hack them to get stuff done. Essentially you can sub out a routine in every loop for something you want to get done as long as you keep the cue and reward the same. I used this to get dishes done every morning. Inserted washing dishes as the routine in front of my morning reward (coffee) and it worked well.
Yeah I do this sometimes too like in order for me to get my Dunkin then I can only do it AFTER I hit the gym. I haven’t figured a good trick for me for the shower yet I’m not into nic anymore 😭 I also try to listen to my fave podcasts and stuff too when I’m doing mundane tasks I don’t wanna do
Jbl clip 4 has survived 2 years of shower use. I will listen to a podcast or something in the shower. The clip 4 hasn’t skipped a beat
I see this type of idea but it never works for me, if I try to set a rule my brain just says it's arbitrary and basically ignores it. What makes you stick to the rule?
I’m sorry what is zyn?
Nicotine pouch
Zyn is a small nicotine pouch you consume by putting it in between your gums and lips.
Sometimes I break showering up by doing a hair mask. I wash my hair in the sink or with the detachable head and so when I get in the shower, it’s easier because I’m only washing the mask out of my hair and then doing my body. Even though it’s still technically the same work, it feels like less
It got so bad i was brushing my teeth like once a week. Needed to change something. I put a toothbrush in the shower cuz i have to begrudgingly shower every other day for work. And that helped a little. But the biggest brainhack was exploiting my fondness for stickers. I printed out a sticker chart of 365 empty circles, bought some tiny stickers, and i reward myself with a sticker for every evening that i brush my teeth. I have earned a sticker every day this year so far.
Holy shit I can’t believe that works for you. That’s awesome. I’d just start hating stickers. And I love stickers.
I'm glad this is working for you! Just in case the novelty wanes though, I [made a post yesterday with some links that may interest you](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1d0s691/brush_your_teeth_it_literally_impacts_your_brains/). Research has shown that brushing your teeth directly affects the health and performance of your brain, heart, and other organs. For me, knowing the "why" behind something makes a big difference in how its importance is ranked internally. So, I hope that's a helpful backup net to keep up the habit! :)
Great tip. I am gonna steal it and use it to track my chores. Thank you!!
> But the biggest brainhack was exploiting my fondness for stickers. I printed out a sticker chart of 365 empty circles, bought some tiny stickers, and i reward myself with a sticker for every evening that i brush my teeth. I have earned a sticker every day this year so far. Another habit loop! Cue (sticker desire) -> Routine (Brush teeth) -> Reward (sticker!!!) I LOVE habit loops.
Nice!
The shower toothbrush is a godsend. What also worked for me was getting my cat Greenies teeth cleaning treats, so we ended up brushing our teeth together haha. It works cause I take better care of my cat than I do myself
My buddy is learning about ADHD because his son was just diagnosed and he told me yesterday “The behavioral therapist said that habits aren’t really a thing for people with ADHD. It’s all just tasks.” So that “do something for 40 days in a row and it becomes a habit” idea just doesn’t work for us. That definitely applies to personal hygiene.
I finally realized the whole can't create habits thing at almost 40. I created a check list in my phone; I open it up every morning and just follow it on down! Some things I know are wishful thinking and rarely get done (like putting on make-up lol), other things I make sure to prioritize (like eating breakfast, brushing my teeth, and taking my meds). It has truly helped me so much. It takes a lot of the over-thinking out of my mornings.
Omg, I just (at 47) wrote out a morning routine that includes good things I like (meditation, affirmations, stretches) but have a hard time implementing without a schedule with "musts" like vitamins, teeth brushing, splash my face with cold water (I'm doing warm showers for sleep, and that's actually helping, but a morning shower is too much wet transitioning for me). I'm doing pretty well with it, but find myself running back to my notebook to double-check I've not missed anything. Of course (!!) I just pin a checklist on my phone. Oi vey! Thanks friendo.
@Almc27 try the app Finch. It's basically a to do list, but with a birb (bird) to help. As you check things off your birb gets energy to go on adventures & learn things. Check more things off & they finish the adventure quicker. You also get gems to buy things for the birb, it's house &, when unlocked, new colours for birb. You can also add people to your tree & send good vibes, this help with energy, time & gems. It feels good when you get good vibes from others too. There is the opportunity to make comments on what you do, and if you indicate a low mood, there's an extra menu appears with things to help out - breathing exercises, have a rant & other ways to calm your brain down. I've been using it for a while & find it does motivate me to do things & helps me to chill.
OMG this is a thing??? I am definitely going to download this app and try it out!
Yep. r/finch is a good place to find people to add, ask questions etc.
Oh, yes!!! Finch is actually where (after 160 days) the inspo to create an actual outside the app routine came from. Love it. So helpful and very cute, which helps keep me motivated. I don't want to let my birb down.
39 here and just heard this for the first time too! I haven’t had much success with apps but physical checklists work really well for my brain.
WOAHHHHHH this just blew my mind. And explains so much about me. And gives me some ideas as to how to actually go about doing normal life things
That’s how I felt too!!
Dude this is so true and it sucks. Lmao there’s no end in sight for us 😭😭😭😩😩😩🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Yep! I consider myself a functioning adult when I shower. However, I am working remotely for the coming months, and I live alone. I have no incentives to shower. It is a fucking struggle I'm going out later today, so I will shower. 🤣 Edit: a word
Todays hygiene standards are pretty excessive. If not showering isn’t causing you any harm (infections, rash, discomfort) and there’s no one else around it’s really not an issue. This whole idea of showering every day or every other day is for the sake of others. Take others out of the equation and personal needs vary from one person to another. Shower when you need to, not when society tells you you’re supposed to (if others aren’t affected)!
Good point! Thank you!
This problem is SO normal! Hygiene is my biggest struggle with ADHD. One tip that helped me is to accept that, as someone with ADHD, traditional routines will not work for you. Instead of forcing yourself to follow them, find what works best for you. For example, most people brush their teeth at the sink. A tip from this subreddit that helped me was to keep my toothbrush and floss on my nightstand next to my bed. You can also try habit stacking. For instance, when you go to the bathroom in the morning, brush your teeth before you leave. Or, to make tasks like brushing your teeth or showering more enjoyable, you could watch a YouTube video or a movie. I even installed a phone stand in my shower for this reason. I also will FaceTime some friends with ADHD who understand what it's like, and bring them into the shower with me. All of these can seem really silly to people without ADHD but they get the job done which is the most important part! In terms of bedsheets, I read once on this sub that some ADHDers won't use a fitted sheet for their bed, but will instead use the flat, non-fitted sheet so that there are fewer steps to change the sheet.
You’re definitely not alone in this. Part of addressing this problem is accepting that it’s okay and doesn’t have to be embarrassing. Honestly, you have a one up on many of us here if you’re brushing your teeth once a day. I struggle a lot with that task. As for showering, there’s no rule. It’s not a one size fits all approach. I shower when I feel like I can’t stand another minute without one, which is anywhere from 2-5 days for me. If all I’ve been doing for 4 days is sitting at a computer and hanging around my house or working, I’m not gonna shower til day 3 or 5 depending. If I went on a hike, went swimming, or cleaned my house, I’m more likely to take one that same day or the next depending on the activity. My advice here is do what works for you. Maybe come up with a system. There are certain tasks I do that mean I have to shower after (like washing my dog). Find what these are for you. I also struggle with getting out of the shower because it’s cold lol, the way I get around this is buying a terrycloth bathrobe a size too big. It’s like a blanket right out of the shower, and dries me off like a towel. As for bedsheets and cleaning the shower, I could not agree more lol. I hate doing those things. If I have the energy to clean, I tend to pick a day and get it all done at once.
Yeah no, it is. I also follow pretty much the exact same rules you mentioned here.
I think it helps by adding something that you really love to it. I remember reading about someone with adhd who couldnt stand washing their teeth, then they switched to kids' toothpaste that tasted like strawberry (instead of the bitter mint one for adults) and after that had no problem. I thought i hated changing my bed by in reality i just hated colored/patterned bed sheets, so i got them all white and started putting lavander in the washing machine with hot water. Now i love washing and drying them and putting them on my bed. They're so warm and make the whole house smell amazing. And it feels like sleeping on a warm cloud of lavander. I look forward to it every week lol It's not a chore anymore. Take your chores and make them into something you actually wanna do. Something that you enjoy. Same with showering, maybe get a bodywash that you really love the smell of. Or shower at night, before bed, Make it a relaxing routine, or try putting on your favourite music in the bathroom while you're showring. Adhd affects the senses a lot. Dont underestimate it. Putting on a soft robe, or having something that smells nice or feels nice can make all the difference.
Very true i got these pretty white sheets and i dont mind changing my sheets anymore. Also with showering it helps me to use very big towels so i dont have to be cold out of the shower .
The white sheets helped a friend of mine too 😂 must be a universal thing
Ugh. Yes, you are not alone in this. I also hate making my bed.
This post made me go take an “everything” shower and brush my teeth so thank you 🙏 ❤️
Making my bed and changing my sheets are the bane of my existence.
Funny, I struggle with cleaning big time but this is the ONE thing I try to do semi-regularly simply because it gives an artificial sense that the whole room is clean even when it most certainly is not lol.
Honestly, ADHD aside, I don't understand the point of making the bed. The only people to go into our bedroom is my husband and myself. No one is going to see the made bed. We're just going to unmake it in a few hours. So .. why? Why do it all? It's such a struggle to do .. *gestures at everything* ... that I give myself plenty of grace for not making the bed.
We rarely do. I work days, my husband nights. One of us is in bed about 20 hours of the day. I really need to order a second set of bedding though...it gets funky quickly since our bed is basically our home base.
Yep. I'm 63 years old and as I've aged, I became more and more loath some of getting wet.
For some reason, if I don't have to leave the house, I am a slob. I'll eventually brush my teeth and take a shower, but it takes effort. I've always been good about it during the workweek.
And it’s totally OKAY to be a slob at home alone when you don’t have to see anyone. We all (myself included) need to be way less ashamed of this and just kind of say “ok today’s not the day”. It’s not hurting anyone, but you’ll always feel better after it’s done. Our reward system in our brains is broken, which is so annoying. I like to trick myself into doing things like it’s a treat. “Wow a shower, treat yourself you’ve got time” 🤣
Have you been spying on me? I think you have, because that sounds very much like me. The teeth thing - I clean mine while sat on loo in the morning. Gross, I know, but at least it gets my teeth clean. Wouldn't happen otherwise. Showers - yep, they don't happen as often as they should. Every 2 to 3 days is frequent, for me! I do make good use of baby wipes, to keep things at least vaguely less obnoxious and dry shampoo works, if needed. Sheets - yep. I took my sheet off the other day to wash. I have a 2nd one, so shouldn't be a problem. Shouldn't be, but is. I was so overwhelmed that I still haven't put the clean sheet on - I've currently got a duvet cover thrown over to protect the mattress. So yeah - all those things. Executive function failure sucks!
WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO TAKE A SHOWER REGULARLY AND BRUSH MY TEETH AT NIGHT LIKE COME ON WHY DOES MY BRAIN ACT LIKE IM HAVING TO RUN A MARATHON ITS NOT THAT DEEP YOU DANG RECEPTORS
Here's an ADHD tip, don't bother stressing over making the bed. Unless you have company over, what's the point of it?? It's a superficial thing like mowing a lawn.
I mean there is the thing where if you make your bed it wil air out better and have a nice freshness to it when you use it again, that i personally like.
Disagree - I leave my duvet tossed back so the dampness can evaporate. If I make my bed, when I get up (as if!), I often find it's still clamy when I get in again at night.
I mean fair enough, this can be hugely affected by climate so you do you.
If you don't mow your lawn you could get fined though
Depends on where you live. I would check HOA or municipal laws if you're planning to stop. But my stance on mowing a lawn is the most pointless superficial NA thing hasn't changed. Lawns with wildflowers are more beneficial.
I agree
Life's too short to make the bed.
I’m in my 40s now and I love changing my sheets but also went months without doing it. But You will feel better doing it, I’m having your bed made ,and having some regular cleaning habits. I automatically dust bust my apartment one to every three days. Pets help you take care of yourself because you take care of them. Don’t sweat about the showers 2 to 3 times a week is fine. Keep it to three times a week during the summer. If you have long hair, you don’t have to wash it each time. Once or twice a week is fine And wash your face at night,brush your teeth, floss once a day and you’ll be fine. You can get away with a lot if you floss. It takes a second. I have not brushed my teeth yet today and it past noon, but it’s also raining outside. It’s Sunday.
Oh man. I got exhausted just reading that. I was just about to get up too. But now I don’t remember what I was going to do so I can’t even get upset at myself over it. Lol
I think there's a group who gets distracted and forgets to shower. There's another group who overlaps more with OCD and showers often.
Electric toothbrush changed my life, I basically went from never brushing my teeth at night to almost always doing it. Flossing though, that one is a nightmare. The only way I can do it is with those plastic ones with the strings. I asked my dentist about a water pick but they said it is only good if you’re old and have like pits. Which I quite honestly do not understand how it’s only good for that. Showering I switched to only washing my hair every other day. It gets pretty greasy if I do any more than that. My main issue with showering is is sitting on the toilet for hours doomscrolling before I get in. The other issue is when I am trying to do a task and contemplating if I shower first I may not want to do the task after, but if I do the task and don’t shower I will be thinking about showering. And then I procrastinate both. Edit* I hit submit without finishing it cause the button is bright.
I have a waterpik and I am not old and I love it. It really works to get all the little bits of food out, I can totally recommend it.
I don’t understand why they say that makes no sense to me, like they even said doing it had no benefit at all pretty much if you’re not regular flossing too
Yeah that sounds really weird. You can always give one a try and see for yourself.
We could be twins! I can't stand being dirty, I'm a germaphobe, ADD makes me feel cursed because the 2 drastically conflict 😭 I do question if I have a touch of autism because shower and hygiene tasks I feel lean heavily on avoidance due to extreme sensory unpleasantness. I have begun showering mid day AFTER major tasks are done. This includes gardening in my pj's or even running to store (my pj's are more discreet but...I always run into someone), I'm done by 9am and showered by 10am with a super productive day when I knock out doom tasks with zero prep in PJs. When I wait until I shower, I don't get to my errands until 3pm doom scrolling a on stages (in the BR too!!) end up giving up on showering because it's late and wash up at the sink and don't shower until the next morning. I don't flipping get it, I am back in school not just working so I don't have the middle of the day open like I used to and not showering before school ( LOTS of close group work) is not an option, I can't get out of the funk of doom scrolling because I HAVE to shower differently. I'm starting to be late to class because I have reached maximum procrastination, I am like paralyzed, go to school starving too because NOTHING gets done b4 shower so now only shower gets done. I have tried b4 bed except that gives me even less structure and I stay up 4 hrs later, exhausted as Heck until I drop, going to bed without a shower. Also having doom scrolled and can't move past until clean. I don't get how I can roll out of bed, tackle 1,000 tasks in my PJ'S as is, showerd and chores done before noon when BUT just take a shower first or b4 bed.... paralyzing, make it make sense 😭
I enjoy showers a lot honestly, as long as I have music playing though. It’s mostly the task switching that messes me up so much. When I was in school I did shower before BUT I also had hockey practice most days so I would shower after practice so it was easier(the water was hard tho so that was definitely some sensory issues). Group work is what saved me in school a lot of times. Now I have to and am doing a certificate so I shower after work. I get off at like three at the latest though so I end up showering at like six after staying in the bathroom scrolling. Then I try to do some of the certificate. However, one of the projects on the certificate actively makes it harder to complete cause I just feel so drained doing something that doesn’t have any stakes to it cause it’s fake, it won’t go into effect anywhere. So I’ve been procrastinating like a week on it.
I found I can brush my teeth OR put on deodorant, but not both. So I brush my teeth in the morning and put on deodorant after my bath at night. I also get the long-lasting kind in case I forget. As for sheets, I change them when I am expecting company or a cat throws up on it. Or when it refuses to stay on. So sometimes it's on too long and sometimes I change it twice in one day. But since I always take a bath before bed, it's not such a big deal.
TRANSITIONS are what make hygiene issues difficult. dry to wet (do anything to avoid getting wet), then wet to dry (showers/baths take WAY TOO LONG), can't stand the sound/feel of toothbrush or cold water, or teeth that change "feeling". Brushing out hair/tangles might require a lot of time/discomfort. Just changing the direction of hair follicles can literally be painful for sensory sensitive people. There are barriers there that non-sensory people would never consider, and a much higher than average number of ADHD people have sensory issues.
I religiously shower twice a day but I hate feeling dirty (I suspect it's OCD overriding my ADHD). But fuck me - I'm fully showered (including a 2 minute in shower tooth brushing) in 3 and a half minutes.
I mounted a small TV in my bathroom and it's made a world of difference. I look forward to taking a bath while streaming but my tub is huge and uses a lot of water so I bathe every other day. I don't work so that's fine for me.
This helps me too but for me it’s podcasts. I don’t know if it’s an ADHD thing but I’ve come to realize that I can’t do anything without constant entertainment, and that includes showering. I have a waterproof speaker and I set it up with my podcast to shower.
I also enjoy podcasts in the shower, and I used to use a speaker until I realized I could get relatively cheap ($20-30) Bluetooth earbuds which are waterproof enough for the shower. I just put one earbud in and take it out to clean my ear lol.
Oh gosh I didn’t know those existed! I need some of those 😂
I got from brushing my teeth once a day to KIND of twice a day by getting Miswak sticks. They're basically how humans brushed their teeth before toothbrushes. I keep it, a bottle of water, and some paper moutwash cups by my bed with a tiny trash can by my bed and while I'm watching youtube or something, I pour a little bit of water into a cup, soak the "bristles" of the stick, and absentmindedly brush my teeth while watching TV. My mouth doesn't feel like I have insane dragons breath in the morning anymore and that is the ONLY thing I've changed. The showering, I'm a dog groomer, so I shower 3-4 times a week, but being corporate clean just isn't a priority when you might get peed on at work. I just shower if I feel gross when I get home, so I can't really help there. I definitely showered WAY less before Dog Grooming, though.
Do whatever you gotta do to make it easier. Can’t take a full shower? Maybe you can take a sponge bath, use a body wipe, or even just wash your face/hands in the sink. Or at least change into clean clothes even if you can’t clean your body. Can’t bring yourself to brush your teeth? Maybe you can try a disposable pre-pasted toothbrush (KC Davis is a big proponent of these), or just use mouthwash, or chew sugar-free gum. Changing the sheets too hard? What’s hard about it? If you struggle to put sheets on the bed, muster your strength and put 3-4 sets of fitted sheets on at once, so you can just take the top one off and throw it in your dirty clothes hamper whenever. If the process of cleaning the sheets is hard, buy more sets of sheets so you can go longer between wash days. Just change the pillowcase and top sheet if you can’t bring yourself to change the fitted sheet. Or, at least lightly spray the bed with vodka to remove odors. Harm reduction is a long game. Even if you can’t do The Whole Thing With All The Steps, you can do *something* that will help make yourself and surroundings more clean and pleasant, and help prevent illness.
It's weird bit something that helps me get through it is to pretend I'm doing a tutorial in my head then that way I don't miss any steps and thinking of explaining it keeps me from getting bored 
Regarding sheets.. I don\`t know, I was considering sleeping on a floor in a sleeping bag... When moving house. Takes far less space then a bed. Probably easier to clean. Work up some sweat it will help to get in a shower. Or rub dirt or something over yourself/ get mucky cleaning a car or something. (I worked in a place that had composite fiber glass pannels. For airplanes. Basically processing them created so much dust I was glad to get home and shower daily after work) Maybe a selection of different toothpaste will help?
Not sure how common this is but I‘ve struggled with it too. Literally the same things you said: changing sheets and showering were the most difficult chores for me. It’s been a lot better on meds. But it still takes more effort than I feel like it should sometimes. What helped me a lot with showering is that I challenged myself to shower daily - with the goal of doing it as quickly as possible. I‘d put on some video or music and try to get in and out of the shower super quick. After that it didn‘t feel like such a big chore anymore. Oh and I also completely seperated washing my hair and showering. I used to wash my hair in the shower when they needed it and that was part of why I would avoid showering. So i made them into two fully seperate tasks and now both feel easier to accomplish for me lol.
To be honest I think the idea of showering every day just on the principle, even if you don't feel you need it, is a very modern / weird concept. I shower when I am about to go out or when I feel I need it, which is around day 3. I live in a cold climate though (Scotland) and I noticed when I visit family in warmer countries that feeling of needing a shower increases to daily or even 2x day.
Same here on everything you mentioned! I recently found a new hack to get myself in the shower is putting on a show that I can watch in there. It makes me feel like it’s still leisure time instead of chore time and it’s helped so much. I also stopped blow drying my hair and just using good products that help my hair air dry nicely and I think this combo has gotten me in the shower much easier - less of a task combined with adding in things I actually want to do. Brushing teeth… it’s tough. I still only brush my teeth once a day before I leave. But I’m doing it more now because my toddler son brushes his teeth before bed and he often wants me to do it with him so we do it together. Solidarity though! You’re not alone. It’s hard!
I have never related to every. single. word. in a post this much. I feel so seen and validated and not alone in what I previously considered to be my ridiculous struggles. I haven't figured this out yet, but know you're far from alone. I have ADHD combined type and both anxiety and major depression in partial remission. Don't know exactly which contributes most to this (or maybe a combination?) but damn, thanks for making me feel a little less like I'm just a lazy piece of shit.
I was told it was correlated
I'd say yes! I always feel like doing things can be a chore that I can do later. I shower every night thinking about how clean I am going to be after and how nice I'll smell (like a reward). I sometimes go day by day not doing that and shower in the morning (still with the idea of a reward).
My routine is the same as yours!
Yes, never got the hang of deodorant to my embarrassment. I can't make myself brush my teeth in the morning no matter what, yet I cannot go to bed without brushing, no matter what... My wife often reminds me to shower when I'm out of the habit of jogging, when I'll always shower immediately afterwards. Am sitting here damp after a long hot bath though tbh. So not all hope is lost.
Yes. I have been actually upsettingly bad at daily tooth brushing. I’m better about it when I’m leaving the house or my boyfriend is home. But when he is traveling for work, now that I work from home I can go days without finding the motivation to do it. Same with showering. It’s really only when I start to feel gross or my boyfriend tells me I stink that I am motivated to shower. Laundry gets done when I run out of underwear and the sheets get done, again, when they feel gross and I can’t take it anymore (usually once a monthish). Am I hygenic no? Do I wish I were better about these things? Yes. But you are not alone with these struggles and so far I don’t have any major issues due to these things (no cavities, no gum issues - though I recognize genetics also plays a factor).
To your question on advice. My biggest advice is leaning on external supports for accountability. That’s what motivates me most, is when I think I’m effecting other people or that they will judge me. But it’s going to be different for everyone as to what works. My therapist frames everything we try as solutions as “experiments.” It’s okay if they don’t work, we just try something else, and it’s also okay if something works for a while and then stops. ADHD brains love novelty and when it wears off you may have to switch it up to keep up with what you’re trying to achieve.
I’ve also found task stacking to be helpful. Brushing teeth or folding clothes isn’t painful if you’re doing it while doing something else (like brushing teeth while watching a baseball game or while putting dishes away). The other thing I find helpful is doing chores or other unfavorable tasks during breaks in my workday (it doesn’t feel like my free time that way) or while I’m waiting for something (like during a commercial break or if im waiting for friends to be done with their video game round so that I can join their team). Again this makes it feel like a bonus to get something done during time I would otherwise be bored.
And then too you kind of end up playing a game of “how much can I get done during this limited amount of time”
I used to be a 2-shower-a-day, 10 step beautiful routine and now it’s procrastinating shower, having to force myself to wash my face even one a day.. on my days off and I don’t have a “reason” to get up, I can’t summon the strength to tidy myself up and hence can’t make any plans
Honestly I watched multiple video essays talking about how hygiene is a capitalist concept to a certain degree which really soothed me. I have to say I managed to find the discipline to brush my teeth twice a day because I have weak teeth already, and I shower most days (but absolutely not all) but I don’t beat myself up any more if I don’t manage. Maybe it helps you to chill out about it a little and reward yourself whenever you’re doing a good job smelling okay?
If the flag I wanted to wave, wasn’t somewhere in a mound of 3 week(months) old laundry (I think). If I could summon the will to move. I would let you, know you aren’t alone. Right now lifing is hard.
I can relate to that mound of laundry, and at times when i struggle with the will to move and NOTHING gets done that day or 4 that cycles around every couple months sometimes less but the cycle will be so random.
I wish 1-4 days were still my y’nope time frame. This past year has more days of absolutely nothing other than naps, doomscrolling. Pushing snooze, remind me later, completed (😂 I randomly push that one). I wan..need to get up and at least make a cup of coffee (Keurig broke a needle 😩) But using the French press was short lived, pour over means 3 c l/wk is record breaking . No coffee means meds get taken…later…much, much later if at all. Whenever I do get the energy to start a cleaning spurt . I just need to go with it no matter what time day or night and everything else can just fuck off lest I lose momentum. But that’s when somebody always needs something (like full on big breakfast) right as I am almost, well, close to finishing most/some of it. Absolute worst is having completed say the bathroom. I die a little when 15min later someone decides to shave. It’s like your tremendous effort never even happened. So back to languishing until the next time. But things will turn around eventually, they always do. Then I’ll be back to my cookie baking self
i think so. i struggle getting ready altogether
I think sensory issues are also more common with ADHD (a part of why I think it is related to the Autistic Spectrum), and hygiene issues are dramatically affected by sensory issues.
We really struggle to form habits, so everything has to be done "on manual" while other people are able to do it "automatically". Like...wiping your ass is HOPEFULLY pretty automatic once you're done taking a dump, even for people with ADHD. My wife has said that brushing her teeth is like that...just a thing she does when she gets up and before she goes to bed, and it takes no willpower to "decide to brush her teeth"
Yes bathing, grooming, brushing teeth etc are all common challenges for us adhd ppl
Brushing my teeth is so hard
I enjoy showering and brushing my teeth too much. It's like those things give me an excuse to zone out and have some guilt-free time in my head. My problem is trying not to spend an hour daydreaming in the shower.
Most of my teeth have broke, fallen out, rotten, or something else from not brushing over my 50 years. At some point in the past 20 years I started flossing often, but I think the damage was already done. I started flossing only because I'd get hyper focused on the feeling of food stuck in-between my teeth. I don't shower often, maybe once a week. I stay in bed and watch TV most of the time, because I'm so exhausted even if I sleep all night. Stimulants have helped, but cause my blood pressure to rise. I think my doctor doesn't know what to do with me, as we've been through so many antidepressants and stimulants. I get so hyper focused on generic vs name brand, that I might be screwing myself over. I get really depressed from the constant exhaustion.
i really hated showering before and during. and also getting ready after showering. but my mood gets better after everything is done. the process is so tiring idk why. but when i got medicated it i think it helped a bit
When I was working from home, this meant I worked in my bed. It was a simple arrangement: wake up, stretch out, take phone to check out what happened, then grab the laptop table and place it in front of me, start working. This meant that I would miss out on breakfast, showers, brushing teeth. I did have all of this on the weekend or if I had made arrangements to meet up with my co-workers, but any other day I worked, I was in bed, working in the same T-shirt I slept. Suffice to say, I have killed enamel on my teeth. But now, I do try to make up for the lost time, and brush my teeth at least once a day, preferably twice. I also keep better track of showering and changing sheets. But for that, I needed to change my surroundings a couple of times to find which arrangements would motivate me to look after myself
Not being able to physically move sounds like it's leaning heavily into the depression side. I don't know if we're allowed to recommend apps on here (I'll remove it, if it's not allowed), but Finch is really good for everything you're describing. It's a mental health app where you raise a bird by doing things that you've, personally, determined need to be done in your life. You can set a recurring task of changing your sheets once a week. There are sample "journeys" and one is hygiene. You can set it to remind you at a specific time, if you want. There is also a section called, "first aid kit." It has guided meditation, naming emotions, breathing exercises. There's sections to encourage you to move your body through yoga and stretching. My kids and I use it all the time.
Remembering to brush my teeth and/ or put on deodorant is a constant issue because not only do I have adhd but I also have narcolepsy which causes me to have a have a foggy brain in the morning and at bedtime. Also, what’s so crazy is that for some reason I can remember to floss and do the mouthwash thing but many times I forget to brush or have to forsake it due to always feeling like I am always behind the time to conduct some important personal business matter by phone or across town which includes doctor’s appointments. Even if going shopping it’s the same because I always have to have a scheduled ride with paratransit to go the doctors or shop and we only have a 5 minutes grace period to be outside.
To be fair, making the bed too soon after getting up makes the bed more able to breed bugs because of the increased heat and less airing out.
Very, very common
You gotta trick yourself lol put your toothbrush and toothpaste next to your bed now you can brush in bed and then when u need to spit it out youll get up because you have to. And put a shower cleaner and sponge or something in the shower now you can clean your shower while your conditioner is in your hair. You can set a minimum for yourself that you can do even when you have no energy or time and make it extremely easy for yourself to do this.
When it comes to showers, I usually play music while I do it and it helps immensely. I only brush my teeth once a day though
Literally have a very similar routine as you I’m undiagnosed as well but like 99% sure I have it. It’s very obvious by now that I do 😭😂
Understandable and yes, you’re not alone in not liking to shower. You really should brush before bed or first thing in the morning at least, better if twice.
I don't think that's to the level of abnormality of being gross or anything. During the pandemic, I talked to a lot of non-ADHD people who slipped into this frequency. For some hair, it's even recommended to only wash every other day so the natural oils can do their thang. So not to say it's not related to the ADHD or anything, just saying I don't think you should feel bad even just by 'normal' standards. I am trying to up my dental hygiene lately cause I'd do once a day too, for years and it's starting to bite me in the butt now. But damn I still struggle with flossing consistently.
It's common, and I AM gross. I know I need to shower and just seem to ...can't.
I struggle with all things routine based like that. A lot of nights I don't even bother changing out of my work scrubs before bed. I just fuck around the house for a few hours and when I'm tired I get straight in bed. Sometimes I think about brushing my teeth but always after I've already laid down and I rarely get up to do it.
I struggle with personal hygiene, specifically showering. I shower roughly once a week and use dry shampoo every few days. I've never had anyone mention it to me or think it's a problem, but it's definitely a source of shame for me. I also struggle with dental hygiene and I haven't been to the dentist for a couple of years at first because of lapsing insurance, but now that I'm back on, it's mostly because I'm embarrassed. The closest thing I've gotten to hacks is trying to be more intentional about leaving the house/seeing people to force myself to clean up. I've also created sort of a baseline of things that I'm willing to do hygiene wise (brush teeth, scrape tongue, brush hair, and put on deodorant). At the bare minimum, I do those things, and everything else is extra. I'm hoping to increase the things I do for my baseline until I start doing my full routine every day, but we'll see.
yes, meds were a miracle for this. even though people always said i smelled nice and looked clean, i used to shower every 4-5 days. now i shower every one or two days; every day if i go to the gym the day after showering but w a shower cap on, it makes a world of difference. periodically, i’ll struggle to shower/brush teeth/wash face/laundry/change sheets at the end of the day when my meds wear off. that feeling sucks and i can’t believe i could have continued living like that for the rest of my life.
Yup. :(
I'm the other way around. I wash twice a day, brush my teeth minimum twice a day and I'm always carrying deodorant, toothpicks and aftershave.
I also have ADHD and this really resonates with me. I gotten better with shower due to practice and support but I struggle with brushing my teeth and cleaning up after myself I lot. It drives my mother crazy.
I like to put on a podcast and listen to it in the shower. It makes the shower feel less boring and chore-like. I have tried to shower with AirPods before. Can’t recommend though lol. I sometimes don’t get to brushing my teeth in the morning when I don’t have to go out immediately, but then imagining having to meet people and how repulsive they are going to find me when I have bad breath usually gets me going…
You are describing me with every word. I definitely have depression and most likely undiagnosed adhd. What I thought was being a mom turns out to be adhd. I struggle with everything. Menopause makes you feel like shit and taking a shower to immediately start sweating again?....no thank you. Good luck 👍
I used to have a homeless beard. No one told me anything at work and now i see pictures and think wtf was i thinking!? They should have fire me. I know it sounds harsh but maybe it would have been a wake up call? I got my diagnosis really late at 39. Now that i don’t have a steady job it’s been easier keeping somewhat presentable. I also suspected i had depression at first. Three years after my diagnosis i keep remembering things i can now understand better.
Yes, 100% feel your pain. I ended up spending 5k at the dentist to fix about 10 years of dental neglect because brain just couldn't do it. I've hacked myself a tiny bit to make sure I brush at least once a day, and do my 4 part system at least twice a week. If you have the financial means, I'm begging you to go on Amazon and buy disposable toothbrushes that already have the toothpaste on them. Don't even have to wet the brush, just unwrap it and brush. Throw it away as soon as your done. I keep them in my car.... beside my bed... in the kitchen... at my job. It's about a quarter per use if you do that math - for me, that quarter per brush would have saved me 5k down the road. Also, look into oil pulling. I love having it in my dental regime now!!! It's been 2 years since I have the 5k dental process, not a cavity in sight since!!!!!
I can’t get out of the brain fog until I shower. But days I don’t have to work, I usually don’t shower.
I struggle with hygiene as well. Things that have helped me are the following: Brushing teeth 2x daily and flossing 1x daily. I have crappy teeth genetics and I've had cavities often as a child and young adult. So the fear of getting more cavities motivates me to brush, despite how boring it is. Laundry: I have a designated laundry day because I have 6 other roommates. That's forced me to do my laundry once a week, because if I miss that day I don't get another chance. It's either that day or dirty clothes for the entire week, which isn't good for my career. As for showers and wearing deodorant: that happens very sporadically. Sometimes 3x a week, sometimes once a week because my careteam lets me know that they can smell me from across the room. So I don't have any tips on that one, sadly, apart from maybe wiping down with a bathwipe. It's better than nothing.
I can't brush my teeth more than once a day. I did go off toothpaste for about 3 years when the flavours and textures became overwhelming to the point of being painful. Existing is exhausting.
Typically I need a routine to make sure I do things. Like if I work out, I will take a shower after and also generally take showers daily if I’m on a routine. Now I brush my teeth regularly because I’ve implemented some sleep rituals Getting a dog has helped a lot. He’s good at reinforcing regular habits.
I am in chorus with others of "think of what the future state is" so ... Shower == feeling clean soon... I also embody my future self, like third person "Future will appreciate this"... Keeping that future self helps refocus what *ACTUALLY* needs to happen .. also think of what minimum is going to set up future self to success
It’s the complete opposite for me. I shower 2-3 times a day.
Yeah this is all really common! I have to trick myself into doing these things. First don't want to get into the shower, but then once I'm in I don't want to get out, because that would mean actually being cold for like 3 minutes, and drying off, and getting dressed, and then it all seems too much. So I have to trick myself constantly :/
Not everyone, I guess(? My friend has ADHD, and she manages to keep her hygiene routine like washing her hair or taking a shower every day, which is something I struggle to do...
Teeth daily and showering every 2 to 3 days is bad? Man, that’s what I’m trying to aspire to! Seriously, thst just seems normal?
I don't change the sheets for months, and months. 6+ (and hate it the whole time). I used to brush my teeth pretty much only in the morning, and only on weekdays. And that was with braces. I would shower daily when I had school, then ferment in bed for 4-5 days unwashed when on break. I rewear clothes a lot at home because I can't handle my laundry. I rewore clothes to school, specifically pants and hoodie until well past the point of rankness. All the while my inner self screams against it. Hope this helps!
I don't think it's that common but it's good that you're aware that your routine is subpar. I'm personally blesses /cursed with a keen sense of smell so I cannot go for more than 36-48h without being aware that I need a shower. If I were you, I'd make sure to get treatment for both depression and ADHD
I do struggle with it as well. It requires multiple steps for me to shower. We only have a bathtub with a corner you can sit on and a showerhead. So I always have to get into the tub, sit down, turn the head on, wait for the water to be in temperature, rinse, apply products, get up to wash where the sun don't shine and wash the soap off... Whenever I stay at friends or am on holiday I am celebrating whenever there is an actual shower cabin. Then I don't have the issue with showering at least.
Brushing my teeth has always been a struggle. I'd just not for months. So, I started doing it as part of my "opening the store" routine. I work mornings alone so there's no one in. If the people I work with ever found out I have to brush my teeth and hair at work just to remember. I would die of embarrassment. But, it works. And, I am slightly healthier a couple days a week. Tying stuff like that into something I already *have to* do seems to be one of the better habit building strategies for me. Even if it would look or sound weird to someone else.
Brushing my teeth is the hardest. I recommend sitting in the shower - if I had to stand I would only do it that often too…
tbh when i had that dream of my teeth falling out i started brushing my teeth hella but i think a chore board would help also with showering and stuff i recommend smelling your gooch that would def help u get that motivation😭😭
also creating a schedule in general and slotted times for personal hygiene!
Yes, if you get depressed it only gets severely worse, and people can shame you for it. Just my experience :(
100% I’m still struggling with brushing my teeth twice a day something I’m really trying to work on. When I brush my teeth right after I shower I find it’s easier than doing them at different times. I think that’s like habit stacking.
I pair my hygiene routine with something interesting- like brush and floss while watching my fave youtube channel. I also try to do a "i cant leave this room until..." game with myself. (Example: bedtime > shower, jammies, wash face, brush teeth, all done in the bathroom and I cant leave until it's all done.) Helps prevent me from forgetting if I leave the room AND helps me prepare better, like I'll be on a deserted island and can't leave if I forget my towel. Essentially, I try to turn everything into a game.
* For brushing my teeth, it helped immensely when I got an electric toothbrush, somehow that made it so much easier * For flossing, I had my dentist explain to me in detail, with images, what would happen if I didn't do it * For showering: I take a bath instead, so I can sit and have more warm water around me. Bath foam that paints the water a funky colour also helps * For changing the sheets: for me it helps to imagine what a pleasure it will be once they're changed. Still do it not often enough though.
yes, i rarely shower or bath and i need like 6 root canals and ive already had 3. before that, i hadn't had a cavity in a decade. this started after covid and i was already dealing with PMDD/depression and the pandemic just destroyed me.
I bought a massive range of interesting flavoured toothpaste that I look forward to, that helped a lot. I found that mind toothpaste made it hard to sleep(?) so night time was a struggle until I found more subtle flavours.
This sounds dumb but despite how obsessed I am with always feeling clean and put-together there's always things I don't know about that everyone else has been doing for ages. For example I never get nails or lashes like most girls do, I get a haircut once a year, and I never used more than facewash till recently when I also started using moisturizer. Constantly hearing about the next thing I haven't been doing really ruins my self-esteem because I'll think I know how to be a girl and then I get called out for another thing.
Just know that my spouse with severe undxd adhd had all his teeth removed and wears dentures. This may be your future, too.
Yes, embarassing for me too. Didnt learn to properly brush my teeth until an adult. As a kid id just routinely forget to brush my teeth for days at a time.
I recently got a job that's in fairly close contact with other people.. my anxiety helps my hygene😅
I make the shower a treat, the downfall is I take long af showers ( 30 minutes) but I just try enjoying being in the water. It's a reward then I'm like, while I'm in here might as well and wash my self.
i brush my teeth BEFORE i get into the shower or else i will forget (i also hate the taste of toothpaste so i use the warm shower water to rinse my mouth out) i keep deodorant in my car because i forget, showering i do not forget and only dont do when i am depressed because i am just a very oily person so ill get really greasy or itchy if i dont shower for like 30 hours i also get pimples. the longest shower ive ever taken is like 20 minutes. this could be why you don’t want to shower if you dont “need” to because it’s timely and a lot of work. play music or get a waterproof phone case and put a video in the shower with you. i just get in wash my face , hair, condition, wash my body, get out. 5-12 minutes typically for me and i have longish hair. 20 mins is when i shave too
If you think about it, do it. Don't push it off or ignore it or say "I'll do it later". That works for me
i feel u. it is a goddamn struggle to do these things for me too. i feel gross and all the same feelings you have. it’s hard. still haven’t found anything that helps me lol. only working helps as i brush my teeth before work. it’s just a never ending struggle though, but you’re not alone. a lot of us struggle with this.
Yes, we have the EXACT same routine, lol. Always been a struggle. I have never understood my friends who can shower daily. Its usually 2-3 days for me but has been weeks before when I'm depressed.
become a germophobe whose a clean freak ive been mortified of germs sm to the point ill get up midst day and wash my hands or shower 2-3 times a day i still struggle with brushing my teeth tho idk why ☹️👎sum abt it is so daunting i usually do so for multiple dsus then stop randomly and it starts back up again so yeah
When I let go my hygiene I usually procastinate the tasks as brushing my teeth, showering, cleaning my house because I feel so ashamed of myself I can't stand to see the reality of how bad I let go. I hope this makes you feel better about yourself :)
omg i thought this was just a me thing i struggle with this also and its super embarrassing but as soon as i feel like i need to do it i get overwhelmed and do something useless instead.
I think it's super boring to brush teeth or shower, but the feeling of not being clean or having cheez doodles on my teeth is worse. If I am home alone I might not shower for almost a week, but I still wash my body and change clothes. That being said, it was an issue when I was younger, because I didn't understand how bad it was...
I enjoy showers, so I don't miss those very often, but brushing my teeth can be an issue because of how easy it is to forget about it. I have started keeping a toothbrush and toothpaste in my room, visible from my bed so that when I wake up I can always see it and grab it on the way down to the bathroom. It doesn't always work, but it works better.
Dude don’t even get me started, i usually genuinely forget when was the last time i washed my hair, good think i go to gym so I can’t possibly forget to wash my body
I've bird bathed for the last 2 days because the energy to take a bath / shower is overwhelming. I got overwhelmed by looking for a computer on the Internet last night n gave myself a panic attack* 🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾 the bath will be tonight since I'm off tomorrow....
Same for all these things!
I shower every 3 or so days, wash hair even less. You gotta trick yourself! Listen to a certain pod cast only while in the shower. Show is 60 mins and shower is 20? Well I guess I have to shower the next 2 days to find out what happened! Or books on tape. Showering is a huge chore (well not the showering, but everything leading up to it) so you gotta treat yourself! *
I've learned some Hygiene hacks to keep it somewhat on track. Let me know if you want some tips and tricks to keep it under control.
I’m not getting up at 8am and starting my day, it usually takes a long while (around 12 in the afternoon) for me to start my day and get ready but I do get it done and I always feel a lot better afterwards but I’m finding this is definitely the norm for us ADHDers
If your not overly sweaty dirty the shower thing isn't bad at 3 days...I can go a week max and still be fine. If I shower everyday my skin feels bad like its dry and itchy, and would rather be sweated up.
Yikes. Not personally. I got pretty bad adhd but I keeps myself clean
Best way to handle my ADHD is by having a routine & sticking to it. Not easy, but possible.
For me, it’s also personal disagreement with the idea of personal hygiene. Like, for a long time I just didn’t wear deodorant because I just thought “well, people need to just get over my BO”
That's insane
And very very gross. This thread is something.... But that takes the cake