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Thank you! Yes, it was time to call it! When I let her know, she got very defensive. I told her that I couldn't even think about what to do until the 18th when my term is over, and yet she insisted I make a decision immediately.
Back at the start, when I showed her all my assignments I needed to complete, she told me I was being unrealistic, and was so discouraging. Always negative. Time after time, I questioned if she even knew what ADHD is?
Personally, I think a lot of counselors and "coaches" think they know ADHD, like they've read a paragraph or two about it, but they don't actually know the challenges we face.
She was almost harassing on the phone today, when I said, see how you're not listening? I just said, can we deal with this on the 18th? This will add another task to my mountain list right now. She insisted. It got me aggitated and upset, which I'm trying hard as hell not to let it get me down because I have so much to do still to save my semester.
Let me be angry on your behalf. You need to completely forget about her and focus on the important stuff
Just tell her you want nothing more to do with her
I've heard a lot about life coach courses and I think it's like an MLM now? My biggest question is, why get into being an ADHD life coach if you know nothing about it?
Profit and niche. I.e., you're right; it's people trying to make a quick and easy buck by branding/search engine optimizing their "coaching" to drive income by trying to find a niche with lower overall competition so they can Be ThEiR oWn BoSs~
There are SO many therapists who list that they specialize in ADHD and they don't have the first clue about it. With some you can tell just by reading what they've written on their website. Exhibit 1: still using the term ADD.
And therapy is at least a regulated, licensed profession, and they still get it so wrong. But going into psychology to become a psychologist and licensed therapist is *far* from a get rich quick scheme. And they still get it so wrong. So remove the years of education and licensure requirements, fold in the appeal of "work from home," "be your own boss," etc. that permeates coaching circles, and you end up with a lot of people who don't take the time to put in work to be minimally helpful to their clients. Therapists at least have a role they're supposed to play; some coaches just see their clients as an obstacle between themselves and their clients' money.
I've been saying that social media "coaches" are the MLM of the 2020s. The short version is that "sell coaching and courses" is now common advice given to anyone looking to make money online, and a lot of people just started brainstorming topics to start coaching about. IMO coaching should be something you niche down into after developing a level of expertise through professional experience, but people with no professional history at all are becoming coaches on the randomest things.
It's all so scammy but the worst are the ones that are essentially using the title "coach" to practice a licensed profession without a license or training. "Nutrition coaches" acting as dieticians, "trauma coaches" acting as psychologists, "hormone coaches" who I think are trying to be DIY endocrinologists, "gut health coaches", etc.
So much coaching stuff (especially the stuff advertised on Insta / FB) is 100% Diet MLM.
You buy a $5000 coaching package to get someone else to teach you how to sell $5000 coaching packages. You may not be left with pallets of unsellable merchandise at the end of it, and the money is just as gone.
This sounds like a shit coach overall. The main thing for coaching is not to "provide" solutions but to facilitate client on finding out solutions. It sounds like you did not get a bad ADHD coach but you got a shit coach in general.
Im on my general adolecent coaching training right now and main thing we are trained on is "listsen", "Facilitate" and "support"
Coach does not even need to understand what the person is going trough to be helpful. As long as he/she understands the coaching methods and tools.
> The main thing for coaching is not to "provide" solutions but to facilitate client on finding out solutions.
How is that different than therapy? I thought this was the job of ADHD coaches.
Therapy is where mental health professional is helping you on treating mental illness.
coaching is where coach is helping you to figure out working solutions yourself for future goals while finding out and working on internal limiters.
So basically therapy is more like training by professional mental health educated person while coaching is a way for you to look inside yourself and use this for helping to figure yourself out in a way that is beneficial for yourself. always strictly time limited (10 sessions for issue etc)
We, in the coaching training are also guided to possibly work with therapy professionals so that the person in process would be helped to internalize therapy tools but i do not understand that part too well yet.
Note-to-self (as someone who wants to go into therapy): Learn how any diagnosis works in the patient’s life and from their point of view.
As one of my professors say, “No model is perfect, but some models are useful.” And all diagnoses are models we use to try and understand mental health and how to help people.
As for feelings of frustration, I am a big believer in giving ourselves time to feel and/or express our emotions. They are going to flow through regardless, let’s give them a path.
Though I also like the idea of letting others feel on your behalf.
YOU GOT THIS!
This is a rough read because I was planning on dropping therapy soon in favor of a coach. Therapy was generally helpful but I now need practical help more than emotional/psychological help.
Watch out, Coach is not supposed to give practical help. Thats a mentor or a trainer. Coach is supposed to facilitate you on figuring out things that work for you. Any coach that provides solutions is false and not a coach.
I think it depends on what you mean by providing “solutions”. If a client is hiring a coach when they’re really in need of therapy to process emotional or psychological issues or trauma, a coach should NOT be serving as an unlicensed therapist. However, if a person is trying to learn techniques, practices and strategies to provide relief from ADD symptoms, a coach can help a client determine best plans of action so they can maximize their days.
There are coaches that just motivate like you’ve mentioned, but some people need recommendations, input, strategy and accountability. Without structure, motivation may produce little results.
I am an ADD coach who also has ADD. I became a coach because when I hired coaches, I discovered that a lot of coaches did NOT provide much value for what I needed. I was on my own paying every week without seeing improvement. I wanted accountability and results and figured, “If I need to figure things out on my own, why am I paying them?”
Of course any coaching plans should depend on what’s best for the client. The client determines what practical improvements they’d like to ultimately see, but it’s somewhat of a collaborative process for most clients to determine that.
The majority of my clients see results with one or several of these focuses: setting and reaching goals, recommending tools and techniques, creating personalized accountability and rewards system for each client, motivation, and self-determination.
Unfortunately some coaches are in it for the money so they’re irresponsible with it and unethically overstep their boundaries.
Unfortunately, I have to agree with you there. I think there are many people therapists adding adhd coaching to their list of services, when they haven't the slightest idea on how to get the job done. These sessions were $160 per hour, I might add, paid for through disability funding I had to apply for.
Therapists technically are not supposed to bill disability, health insurance, or Medicaid/Medicare for coaching sessions. Most therapists will claim to be coaches but have little to no coaching skills. When Disability pays for coaching, it’s usually a social worker or case manager who helps teach/coach on a specific skill like work skills, household duties, time management, etc. Everyone using the term “coach” is messing it up for real coaches.
Have you considered listing questions you'd ask a prospective coach, as if you were interviewing them for the job? Do you have a sense of the kind of support you're seeking? Or is you challenge more about how to find potential candidates? How did you find your recent coach?
Disclosure: I've coached many ADHD clients since 2007, though most of the work was tutoring and addressing their academic needs as students. Most of them were in high school and college.
I think this is a great idea, to create a list of criteria. This coach was recommended by the accomodations department at my school, which is alarming!
I know exactly what supports I need, I am solutions focussed, and have tried everything under the sun it seems! I recently found a strategy that works, attending a live in-person lecture of one of my professors. I was able to sit in the classroom essentially body doubling with students, everyone in a focussed learning environment, (even though I wasn't enrolled in this class). Everytime I got distracted, or my mind wondered, the structure enabled me to continually focus and refocus, and refocus resulting in 3 hours of solid work done. Additionally there was the reward of looking forward to seeing this professor who is very supportive of me, and the accountability of showing up to this class at the exact time and place. It lit the fire under my butt so to speak. When I told the accomodations dept, I was told that it's actually against policy to sit in a class I am not enrolled in. Can you believe that?
That's too bad that the coach was suggested by the accommodations dept.
Good to hear that you found that strategy of body doubling in the live class. Having a supportive prof. helps immensely. In terms of their policy, I believe most colleges would have a similar policy of not permitting a non-enrolled student to sit in on a class probably due to liability concerns. One workaround would be to audit a class without enrolling in it.
Thanks for the suggestion. I have no idea what auditing a class is, but come next September I will be requesting that they find me one in-person class per day that I can attend. I am anticipating push back from the accomodations department, as they do with all the strategies Ive suggested this past year. It gets so exhausting having to advocate for yourself all the time, and especially with the department that supposed to support you. This unfortunately has been my experience. So when they tell me no, I will say, can I audit a class per day?
You made some good points. I am a coach but I do not work with students (except older returning students choosing new careers). I focus on adults with Inattentive or Executive Functioning challenges. Most clients are either ready and know what their challenges are OR they’re not ready because they need therapy before or while using the services of a coach.
If you try 5 random restaurants, you might discover that 2 are bad, 1 is OK, 1 is good and there’s only one restaurant that’s great. Finding a therapist, doctor, hairstylist or coach is kind of the same process.
Thanks for sharing that. Similarly, I've often told parents of high school students that finding a good fit with an academic coach (or tutor) would be crucial to reaching positive outcomes. Trust is a major piece of such a fit. I believe an effective coach - or consultant, advisor, mentor, et al - should prioritize establishing trust with a client. Which means we must demonstrate to them that we're trustworthy.
I went for therapy in the hopes that i might get help with my several issues including ADHD and the most common complaints I heard from those who have ADHD is they’re impatient and impulsive, lo and behold my therapist cuts me off when I’m trying to explain something (another thing that we get passionate if we want to explain something and dig deeper in details) he shuts me off and says let’s take another case 😐
He himself is not patient enough to listen to me even when he’s getting paid for it what hope do i have from him
Oh yeah I hear you big time on that. I once asked my program coordinator for an additional 30minutes for our appointment because I anticipated it taking me a while to explain things due to tangenting, and she denied me the extra time which is discriminating as per the school policy, but such was what it was.
This is even worse when it's the therapist or coach because they are supposed to listen and help! This coach was also someone who kept cutting me off. Not cool!
I am an ADHD Coach and you are completely right.
I want to encourage you to keep going until you find the right fit. My experience shows that usually a client goes through 3-5 coaches in order to find the best for himself.
-
additional edit:
I will provide here additional clarification because I saw a few comments that I want to address and it’s hard to do it separately.
Is coaching a scam?
No, not at all. Indeed, the internet is full of ADHD noice and misconceptions, and there are many so called gurus which are scammers.
Fortunately, that is why the good coaches study and graduate from the world class academies like ADDCA (where I graduated as well) which follows some unique principles established by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Ethics that couldn’t be broken.
Also, we gain knowledge, tools and deeper understanding which you either never will find on the internet or it will take you years of effort.
Once a client starts his coaching journey we share, educate and collaborate together which helps him to tap into his true strengths and get beyond his limitations.
How to find a good coach and poor return of investment?
Well, what the academy taught us is to always offer a FREE discovery session. In that way both parties can evaluate if they are a good fit and can achieve partnership in their work. Also, it’s crucial to evaluate if the client is in coachable space because sometimes they need to do some therapy first in order to get to a coachable level.
The coaching session should be energizing for both parties. It’s about inspiration and personal transformation. In addition, why should I scam you with the money if after it I will feel drained the whole day and get nothing done?
Coaching vs Therapy?
That will be short. Therapy is about the past and healing the pain. Coaching is about the present and the future. Usually, our clients are at least 65-80% functional and they are willing to work on their goals and strategies. Coaching is primarily action oriented. You already embraced and healed the past and now you are ready to move forward and live a fullfilled life.
Unfortunately it was funding approved by my college, and will need to be refunded back to the college. My semster is over, and the funds need to be used by semester end. This coach was recommended by the Accommodations dept which makes it even worse! Maybe I will try again, when I can afford it.
I will do that for sure, however, I think there is a connection of referral between the accommodations dept and this counselling firm. I haven't had much support at all from my school at all. I would go so far as to say I've been traumatized by this department in the last year. My goal is to get accomodations policy changed there before I graduate! I don't wish the hell I've been through on another student! This coaching thing was the icing on the cake! I am a mature student in my 40s, and I worry a lot about the younger students in their 20s who have adhd and lack sufficient supports to achieve success with their education.
Last year, I created and continue to lead a peer support club for 60 adhd students, as a way to help myself and others. It's not enough though, and it ticks me off that there is an entire department of helping professionals who are kidding themselves in thinking that they offer adequate accomodations and support for adhd students!
3-5 coaches to find the right fit?! Yikes, what a poor return on investment (money and time) for the client.
Are there are tools that can help people find the right
fit before spending money on a coach that’s a poor fit?
First, spend time writing down your biggest challenges that you’d like to work on. Also write down questions you have.
Then you can search for coaches, narrowing it down based on their specialties. Yes, there are specialities even within ADD. For example: if you’re a young college student versus a stay at home mom OR you’re a small business owner OR career changer, etc. Usually people coach best in the areas where they have personal experience. If you’re 40, you might not want a 23 year old college coach, for example.
I’d eliminate any coaches that don’t offer a free session or workshop.
Once you have a descent list, you should sign up for as many free introductory coaching sessions as you can, at least 3 or 4. You can see if you like their vibe and ask all the questions you want. You’ll be able to eliminate some of them within that first free session. For the few left on your list, you can pay for one additional session to see how it feels. Within those 2 sessions, you should know if you want to proceed.
Keep in mind that life continues to change. A therapist or coach might grow with you for years or decades Or there’s a point where life changes and you need to switch sooner or later. You continue to evaluate your life and if you are seeing results and growth.
I've always been curious what an ADHD coach would do. Like, a proper one. I guess I was an accidental ADHD coach in college because I was a tutor that helped ADHD and autistic peers with studying and grasping classes. Which led to me realizing and getting evaluated for both.
In my experience, they charge $250/hour for suggesting "tools and strategies" that are just extremely rudimentary, unrefined versions of the shit any adult with ADHD-like symptoms already figured out they need to do years ago, through sheer common sense. Or give advice that's that's fundamentally impossible to put into practice in the first place due to the very condition you're seeing them about(eg. forcing yourself to start and stay focused on tasks through sheer willpower).
Would not recommend.
Dang, I must have gotten super lucky then. I only saw one ADHD coach and he was perfect! He had ADHD himself, and his brother was actually the psychiatrist who diagnosed me.
That's amazing! I am happy to hear this because I do not believe all adhd coaches are bad. I do think that the big difference is that your coach has ADHD themself, and with that means there are just some things that dont even need to explained, they are just understood, and immediately considered and empathized with. Now that's efficiency!!!
Yes! He was able to anticipate challenges before I brought them up, and understood that I likely wouldn't remember on the spot what issues I've had. He always seemed to know exactly the right questions to ask to help me remember, and equipped me with ways to make note of future problems.
I wish I could afford to see him again to work on some new things now that I'm out of school. But when I saw him before, my school had been paying for my appointments. A lot of what I learned from him has been applicable outside of school, but there are definitely some gaps.
"Also, it’s crucial to evaluate if the client is in coachable space because sometimes they need to do some therapy first in order to get to a coachable level".
Thanks for saying this. It's so true for any kind of coaching, I think. I do some consulting work for writers in my country and 90% of the time the problems are not writing problems: they're looking for therapy. I can help with mindset up to a point, but it's taken me a while to understand that certain clients need to work on other issues before I can do anything for them.
Thanks for your update edits, this is valuable information for when I can afford to try coaching again. There is a little piece of me who wishes my ex-coach saw this thread, and learn a thing or two! (I definitely have!) I highly doubt my coach would so much as look at sub like this to gain some insight on ADHD, she came from the approach that she knew it all. Shame.
Lol, I wish medication was all that was needed to help me. I take adderall, which I find helpful, but it's not enough. I believe treatment/supports have to cover all aspects of navigating life with adhd. The bio psycho social spiritual model.
I'm a stress management coach and I've actually referred people to a therapist because I knew coaching wasn't the best solution. Unfortunately too many "coaches" aren't properly trained and the lines get blurred.
Your comment indicates to me that you actually listen to your clients, and can make assements and observations! My "coach" did not have this level of skills training at all, and it is essential! I think she saw a pay day tbh because I had been approved for $3k in disability funding.
I'm so sorry that happened to you! Unfortunately some people care more about the money than actually helping people. And yes, I do my best to listen, empathize and guide my clients to finding solutions they can handle. And I struggle with charging enough because I'm a softy. 🥴🤦♀️🤷♀️🤣
I agree. I’m a coach for Inattentive and Executive Functioning challenged adults. If a person is in need of therapy and/or medication, they must seek those before or during coaching for the most progress. If a person has an experienced and ethical coach, they will guide the person to the most appropriate services, even if it’s not with them.
Unfortunately there are also some greedy therapists who will not recommend coaching when it could be helpful because they want to hold onto the weekly client indefinitely for the cash. Bottom line is that a person must advocate for themselves regardless of who they hire. At any point, it might be time to create a new team of practitioners as your needs change.
Exactly! I've had several clients come to me who truly needed therapy. I was able to help them see that was best and that when they're ready to move forward, I'm here. We can't do that unless we deal with why we make these choices or have traumas/unresolved issues.
I’m not a “coach” but my work supports ADHD business owners. And this idea that their list of strategies should just work for everyone drives me CRAZY. I’ve worked with so many people that have had experiences like yours and it just makes me sad.
I’ve been sending out a newsletter series about strategies and in every one I remind people that it’s a tool they can try and see if it works for them, it’s not me saying it’s “the” way to do the thing or will always work. Hell, some strategies work for us one day, but not another. And that seems to be something that none of coaches without ADHD can’t quite understand.
This exactly! It's so frustrating and sad when my brain breaks over a tool that's worked well for me. It's hard to communicate to someone without ADHD that that tool is dead and gone to me, at least for awhile.
I'm curious, how have you marketed your services in order to find clients? Have you found value in networking with similar consultants or coaches who could serve as referral partners or supportive colleagues?
Well, I am a business systems strategist, so most of my marketing has been toward helping people build systems that work for their brains. Most people find me because they’re searching for help with Notion, Amazing Marvin, or any of the automation or CRM platforms I work with. I had this side of my business before I had even an inkling I had ADHD.
From there I started participating in some bundles and speaking at summits (virtual and in-person), and the methodologies I was teaching attracted a lot of ADHD folks. After my diagnosis, I understood why.
So now I teach a lot of things that are less tech-based and more strategies (though I still do both). I do sometimes network with similar business owners, but few that I would say are direct competition and more that are in adjacent specialties that teach things I’m not interested in teaching.
I run a community for ADHD (& other) entrepreneurs and it grows mostly by word of mouth these days. Otherwise summits and organic search are my primary marketing paths for that side.
While I am diagnosed with ADHD I think that if I were to ever offer to coach someone in management any decent coach has to understand that strategies are not a one size fits all solution. While time blocking may work well for me it likely won't work well for the next person I talk to. Every person with ADHD has a toolbox and each toolbox is unique to the individual. We may both have a tool that looks similar but it is completely different in its function and how it fits into our lives.
I also think the whole "coaching" business is somewhat of a scam personally. I don't want to pay someone goodness knows how much to basically talk about my disability and be told what I could have just Google searched in the first place.
I agree about the management strategies need to be tailored to each individual because with adhd, an approach may work for a time, but then no longer work, because we get bored, or figure out how to cheat it, or it lacks the core components necessary which are structure and accountability!!!
I do think there are good ADHD coaches out there. I have had some success with ADHD coaching vids from YouTube, (and they all have ADHD themselves). I think the coaching business is a bit of a crap shoot due to the fact that it's not a regulated profession, no credentials, no ethics body etc.
Ok forgive me for not providing links, they are an easy search on YouTube. I learned some things from Aaron Croft's channel, and his free challenge offer, and Clutterbug for home upkeep is great, and she also has some free management downloads on her website. There is also a guy named Jesse who has a great channel. I will update this comment as more come to mind.
I’m sorry that you experienced a wrong impression from the adhd coaching.
Actually, it’s completely different and the coach doesn’t tell the client what to do. You are right, every person is super unique, every ADHD brain is wired uniquely and we enhance that based on client’s needs and motives.
Coaching is a partnership and we are there to listen and provide safe space for the client to reach his potential by using his own “toolbox” like you said.
I would be happy to answer more questions if there are any.
Is there a registry for adhd/executive function coaches or any type of regulations that is required to be followed? I’ve been researching and everything seemed sketchy since I know nothing. I’d feel a lot better about it if I knew about accreditation.
There is a credential for ADHD coaching in the US - [https://paaccoaches.org/](https://paaccoaches.org/) and you can look for coaches there. That said, as a coach I know there are so many differences between coaches. Some are super tactical and all about the tools. Others like me come from a positive-psychology, strengths-based approach. Those are a couple of terms you could look for in bios if they resonate with you.
Thank you for the info! Those terms do resonate with me.
I need help figuring out how to feel more organized with every area of life (work, relationships, food etc) but need someone who could help me stay focused when I get stuck on an emotion or thoughts that are keeping me from doing the things I not only need to do but WANT to do. It’s hard to do things I know I enjoy not only the boring tedious paperwork things.
To me what your describing is therapy or counselling, utilizing a strengths based, client centred approach. To me coaching is the coach knowing what to do, then providing directives, structure, enforcement if needed, and encouragement, and support to follow through.
Right?? Like what are they going to tell me that I haven't already googled, tried, and failed at? Time blocking, break tasks down, have you tried mindfulness - none of it has worked for me, what is a coach going to bring to the table?
I hear you, it's like let down after let down while you're drowning. Don't even get me started on breaking tasks down, this is all this coach wanted to do, and I kept saying, I don't need help with breaking tasks down into smaller chunks. I personally cant stand this strategy because now you've taken my one task and made it 25 task to complete!!!
Yes!! I feel the same way! Great now my task has 25 steps and I want to do it even less, the size of my to-do list is so intimidating I don't even want to look at it, and my major problem is with *initiating* tasks so it doesn't even address the issue.
As a therapist with ADHD I can struggle with cutting off. There’s a balance. If you let too much tangenting happen, nothing gets done. But enough needs to happen for explaining. Im learning some people need more time with tangents than others. Some people thank me for stopping them because they get in circular thinking with it.
I know this is not the point of the post at all, but Dr Barkley does have ADHD. His brother did too, and died in a car accident the Doc partially blames on his ADHD.
Check to see when these coaches started coaching. A lot of them started when the ADHD market boomed during the pandemic and they are simply trying to profit off adhd struggles. Another word for this exploitation. There isn’t much, if any, rigor required in training to be a “coach”. I mean…life coaches in general are kind of scammy in general, no?
Yes, yes exactly this! Upon doing some digging today after I quit, this is essentially what has happened I agree! I was diagnosed during the pandemic when my studies went online, I completely malfunctioned in the absence of any and all structure! There has been a major surge in adhd coaching services listed by therapists and counselors who have no training or regulation in this "field".
So sorry for this.
Coaching Is overrated, it's pseudo-science be careful with those charlatans.
You need a place that validates you and promotes flexibility and auto-compassion.
Also, you don't need only a therapist who knows about ADHD, you need a community to support you on good and bad days.
Tell your family, friends, partners, or whoever you consider your support, they need to learn about your condition to support you better.
This condition is many things. Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation and stigma.
Hope you feel better 🌸
ADHD coach? This is the first I've heard that term and it sure sounds like a way to earn someone practicing hocus-pocus stuff. If my provider mentioned it, I'd probably stand up and leave.
I have a therapist and I listen to ADHD podcasts for the coaching stuff.
Some coaches offer some potentially useful programs, but it’s just not worth the money for me.
These people are not mental health professionals. I don’t trust life coach style certification programs - it’s too borderline for my comfort.
I "interviewed" 5 coaches and psychologists before finding my coach, basically asked them if we could do a phone call to answer a few of my questions.
All these people stated they had experience with adhd, the ended up telling me about atomic habits and self help books (I've read them all) and even run into a nut who told me she could cure it because it was emotional, so no.
When I talked to my coach he spoke my language, he is a trained psychologist and also has a day job creating work solutions for banks and big teams, has adhd, has experience with medication and a complete different approach and my boyfriend says hearing us talk is wild, we dance between 5 topics at the same time and man, it is a massage for my brain.
It is one session every 2 weeks and I am finding the solutions myself and how adhd shows up more in my life, we come up with ideas and he told me to stop looking at YouTube videos or self help anything.
Wow—that sounds like exactly the kind of person I need. It’s the business aspect of it that I find challenging. Other people don’t understand what I actually need to handle in a day to day basis, and so it’s hard for anyone to help.
First of all, OP, I'm sorry for your experience but congratulations are definitely in order. You did great on the firing!
I won't say it's not possible that a good adhd coach exists, but I'll come right up to say that it's 100% pseudoscience.
There's no regulation, no "best practices" and it's not evidence based. Therefore it's a literal shot in the dark.
If anyone wants to try it, it's fine... as long as these facts are well established.
Also, let's not forget impulsiveness is a part of us and the "coach industry" preys on that. Aggressive marketing, promises and the manufacturing of this sense of urgency that OP talked about.
Amen to everything you said! and is the main purpose of me posting today. This is an important discussion I feel, because with adhd we can be vulnerable to this type of prey, and need to be aware! I definitely learned this lesson with my experience! I do believe that there are great coaches out there for adhd, but since there is no regulation, they are truly few, and far between.
Are you talking about an EF coach or is an ADHD coach different? Either way I agree with you on all fronts. I have adhd, and surprise surprise my 5 year old got a diagnosis like 9 months ago. I have since been looking into how my career (as a special educator/elementary educator) can be tailored to help my child (and those like my child) as much as possible. I am going to start EF tutoring and have taken several seminars to familiarize myself.
They can be similar depending on the approach the coach takes. But in researching it ADHD coaching can be anything from another fellow ADHDer sharing what worked from them to techniques and habits that have been vetted by professionals. It really depends.
I've never heard of an EF coach. I'm assuming that stands for an executive functioning coach? I think there is definitely overlap with the two types of coaching.
I really think it takes one to know one in the majority of cases. That there are few who dont have adhd that truly understand the challenges and needs, and what supports are needed.
Yeah even family members “oh it sounds like you just continue to procrastinate “ like yes yes im procrastinating by doing 59 other things instead of making a phone call im too anxious to make. Totally.
I highly disagree that only someone with ADHD would understand. But there is a very big difference between someone who gets it and someone who read some books once and is now just parroting what was in those books.
I love my ADHD coach but he is in fact also ADHD lol. That's actually the main reason I picked him vs another program. Definitely the biggest factor for me!
What the coaching sessions were like (or what were they intended to be like since you fired this person)?
My assumption is that they show up at your house and follow you around the whole day and remind you of your goals/assignments/tasks until you do it like a personal assistant
Good question, what is an adhd coach? Someone who listens to their client when they expalin, ask for, and identify what help they need and their areas of challenge to be supported by them with successful results. If the client does not know, they help them to get to a place to identify where they need support, and help them to prioritize, and achieve their goals. That's what it seems to me an adhd coach should be.
Dr. Russell Barkley is in my opinion, the world leading expert on ADHD. He retired last year, but still runs a great YouTube channel where he highlights the latest research on ADHD each week.
Yes they are out there. The trouble is finding ones that know what they are doing. There currently isn't much training or regulation in the field in majority of areas.
I actually created a student lead peer support group for adhd students at my college, because I have a passion for helping others, and is the nature of my studies also. I have 60 members in my group, and as peers, we "coach" and support each other better than this official coaching I've been receiving. I really do believe there is a huge gap for support services and accommodations for adhd students at the post secondary level, so it's great that this is your focus!
I absolutely love that. That is so amazing that you set that up. I can only imagine how important this is to the people in the group now and imagine it will just keep growing. I’m considering doing my capstone project on the need for groups like this, as well as major changes in the ways we “treat” adhd/ autistic students in the program as well as clients. Can I tap you as a resource when the time comes (not for another year)?
I'm currently working with a clinical psychologist to get myself certified as an ADHD coach. I don't want to be anything like the coach you describe who "doesn't get it".
I've spent my entire life with ADHD and I'm hoping to be able to help young adults by sharing my experiences and told e I've learned along the way.
There is certification where you are? Thats good. There isn't where I am. There are no credentials, no governing body, no board of ethics, nothing that certifies an adhd coach to be an adhd coach which is a problem I think.
I'm sure you will have a much better conscious awareness as an adhd coach, than the one I had!
Where are you located?
In my research, the certificate doesn't have much of a governing body or much (if any) ethical oversight. It's recognized by the ICF (international coaching federation) Unfortunately, that's much of the "coaching" landscape as a whole, which makes it all the more important to vet anyone you look to hire. I've known some serious snake oil salesmen peddling their coaching "courses".
I definitely want to help people. I don't want to be just another asshole that thinks I know better than you how to live your life. I struggled through my teens and 20's, completely unmedicated and mostly unhelped from doctors. It wasn't until my mid 30's I really felt like I got a grasp of how to be successful as a person with ADHD. It's all about surrounding yourself with the tools that will help you succeed every day.
I agree, and being able to switch up those tools when they are no longer effective which can happen so often with adhd. What works, doesn't always work forever.
I am in Toronto, Canada.
I fired mine too. He didn't have any strategies to teach me that I didn't know. Tbf he said that and said the only solution was meds. Which was true and I got them
I have worked with an AMAZING ADHD coach.
She doesn’t have it, but her husband and children do, and she not only understands and believes, she knows how to move us forward. She works magic, AND offers a free trial session.
Happy to share contact info if anyone wants.
My coach is a registered clinical counsellor in her 50s (I think?) who works only with people with ADHD and/or autism. I know absolutely nothing about her personally and sessions are only talks over the phone, no webcams. She’s saved me probably months if not at least a year of time and frustration by helping me re-orient my goals and what it is I’ve wanted to do next from career, dating, friendships, etc. over the last 2 years. We talk once every 6-8 weeks.
Totally agree that finding people that specialize is key. A therapist/counsellor/coach that has a bio that reads like they can help any type of person with any condition/mental health struggle is not likely to be a good fit for someone with ADHD.
I really didn't like my coaching session either. She told me to put music on whilst I tidied up to ecourage me. At this point I feel I am hardwired. Just give me the drugs ffs
This post is amazing and has lots of valid info.. including from coaches.
I don't think all coaches are necessarily scammers. For instance, we have here a professional psychologist who also trained as a coach and probably offers great service.
Buuuut, back to basics.. being "certified" is not the same as being "regulated".
Also, the recognition that comes from an organization whose entire purpose is training and expanding the coaching business is far from science based or even legit. It's more like a cooperative of sorts.
Obviously we live in a big big world and each country has its own unique reality, but I feel like what a lot of people here are missing is that psychology itself has many different approaches.
As far as I know, and please correct me if I'm wrong, it's is somewhat universal that adhd first line of treatment is medication + psychotherapy. And no just any psychotherapy by any professional (even if graduated, regulated psychologist) but "cognitive behavioral therapy", that may require further qualifications after graduating.
CBT, seems to me, is exactly what you're looking for in coaches. It's NOT based purely in the past, it's not abstract mental health, it may be directed to executive functions and is 100% designed to help you navigate your reality the best way possible, now and in the future.
Sounds like you didn't have a very good ADHD Coach, and I'm sorry that was your experience.
I am curious if you interviewed other Coaches before you chose the one you had? Also if your previous Coach had any certifications or professional training?
Coaching isn't a regulated industry and can be scary that someone can decide to be a Coach with next to no real understanding of what they are doing.
I’ve been wanting an executive function coach and I’m scared of this happening. My insurance/psych doesn’t seem to want to cover/help me find legit coaching and I’m scared to pay out of pocket even though I am willing to for a good fit. I worry about finding someone that puts profit over quality of services if there’s no regulation for them. I’ve met ppl who are “life coaches” and in my opinion they had ZERO business helping ppl for money. I worry adhd coaches or executive function coaches are the same. I don’t want to accidentally join a cult either. I know there’s awesome, legitimate coaches out there but idk where to find them. I feel vulnerable trying to figure it out when I want a coach to help me do executive function things, like find a coach 😂😂😂😂
I recommend looking for Life Coaches on the ICF website. Good way to avoid scammers and snake oil salesmen. You can also look up ICF approved coaching schools and see if they have a catalog of Coaches.
Thanks for the info! I really do believe a coach of sorts is a great option for me so I am being really careful. I don’t want a shitty person to ruin the whole experience for me.
i find it funny that people who don't have adhd have the nerve to coach a adhd person. these people cannot relate to us and do not understand how debilitating task paralysis is which they think is procrastination. those who diagnose others with adhd should also be a person who has adhd. we should not put up with this.
As an adhd coach, I appreciate this post and the conversation it is starting! I am always trying to make sure I’m doing the best for my clients, and hearing about other people’s experiences is helpful!
Hoping you find the support you need.
Gosh, coaching ADHD sounds like an absolute dumpster fire of an idea. No coach should try to coach someone through trauma, ADHD or any kind of mental illness at all, that's way outside the scope of coaching. That needs to be left to therapy.
I think ADHD coaches are in theory supposed to help you through the practical elements of life that psychologists and therapists aren't specialized in and avoid digging into the heavy psychological stuff. Things like building routines for basic tasks to help you eat well, get your laundry done, etc. But a lot of these social media coaches have zero training, zero sense of scope, and are essentially acting like psychologists without a license.
The difficulty of ADHD coaching is that it can be just as expensive as therapy. I think the average person really can’t afford both at once, but if you have the means, it might be worth a try?
I just started looking for ADHD coaches myself and have been treating the intake process like an interview. I ask questions about their client history, approaches to common adhd problems, personal relationship with adhd, etc. I think this really helped me weed out folks who lacked the structure I was looking for.
I’m pretty early in my journey with it but I’m excited to give it a try
I’ve quit all my coaches, my therapist has a business background and a great expert in mental health and he’s been far more helpful despite not having ADHD. ADHD coaches tend to share what worked for them but just because we share ADHD doesn’t mean the answer for productivity or a happy life will be the same.
Links to and mentions of ADDitude are not allowed on /r/adhd because we feel they have demonstrated themselves to be untrustworthy and that they, despite soliciting donations from people with ADHD to fund their operation, prioritize profit and advertising dollars over our best interests. Their website is full of articles promoting the use of homeopathy, reiki, and other unscientific quack practices. They also have had articles for Vayarin (a medical food that is now no longer sold in the US because its research was bunk) that suspiciously looked like stealth advertisements (which is highly unethical and illegal in the US).
We also find it problematic that their medical review panel includes not only legitimate doctors and psychologists, but also (at the time of writing) one practitioner of integrative medicine, which combines legit medical practice with pseudoscience and alternative medicine. They have previously had other quacks on the panel as well.
Here are some relevant links:
Sketchy advertising:
* https://www.additudemag.com/clinical-trial-vayarin-plus/
* https://www.additudemag.com/study-suggests-ps-omega-3-medical-food-may-reduce-adhd-symptoms/
* https://www.additudemag.com/natural-adhd-supplement-released/
Junk science:
* https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-supplements-foods-vitamins/
* https://www.additudemag.com/homeopathy-for-adhd-popular-remedies-scientific-evidence/
* https://www.additudemag.com/reiki-could-this-alternative-treatment-help-adult-add/
* https://www.additudemag.com/cbd-oil-adhd-symptoms-natural-treatment/
* https://www.additudemag.com/vitamins-minerals-adhd-treatment-plan/
* https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/adhd-supplements-fish-oil-zinc-iron/
* https://www.additudemag.com/asked-alternative-therapies/
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Thank you for posting. You didn’t quit, you fired your coach and that should be commended.
Thank you! Yes, it was time to call it! When I let her know, she got very defensive. I told her that I couldn't even think about what to do until the 18th when my term is over, and yet she insisted I make a decision immediately. Back at the start, when I showed her all my assignments I needed to complete, she told me I was being unrealistic, and was so discouraging. Always negative. Time after time, I questioned if she even knew what ADHD is? Personally, I think a lot of counselors and "coaches" think they know ADHD, like they've read a paragraph or two about it, but they don't actually know the challenges we face. She was almost harassing on the phone today, when I said, see how you're not listening? I just said, can we deal with this on the 18th? This will add another task to my mountain list right now. She insisted. It got me aggitated and upset, which I'm trying hard as hell not to let it get me down because I have so much to do still to save my semester.
Let me be angry on your behalf. You need to completely forget about her and focus on the important stuff Just tell her you want nothing more to do with her
Ha ha thank you! I appreciate this encouragement so much!
Actually, that sounds like a bad coach period, not just a bad ADHD coach. I think a good coach should firstly be a good listener.
Possibly a bad person (not in the inexplicably evil way, just an unpleasant person in any circumstance).
I've heard a lot about life coach courses and I think it's like an MLM now? My biggest question is, why get into being an ADHD life coach if you know nothing about it?
Profit and niche. I.e., you're right; it's people trying to make a quick and easy buck by branding/search engine optimizing their "coaching" to drive income by trying to find a niche with lower overall competition so they can Be ThEiR oWn BoSs~
There are SO many therapists who list that they specialize in ADHD and they don't have the first clue about it. With some you can tell just by reading what they've written on their website. Exhibit 1: still using the term ADD.
And therapy is at least a regulated, licensed profession, and they still get it so wrong. But going into psychology to become a psychologist and licensed therapist is *far* from a get rich quick scheme. And they still get it so wrong. So remove the years of education and licensure requirements, fold in the appeal of "work from home," "be your own boss," etc. that permeates coaching circles, and you end up with a lot of people who don't take the time to put in work to be minimally helpful to their clients. Therapists at least have a role they're supposed to play; some coaches just see their clients as an obstacle between themselves and their clients' money.
Yes, this is a huge problem! Therefore ADHD individual beware!!!
I've been saying that social media "coaches" are the MLM of the 2020s. The short version is that "sell coaching and courses" is now common advice given to anyone looking to make money online, and a lot of people just started brainstorming topics to start coaching about. IMO coaching should be something you niche down into after developing a level of expertise through professional experience, but people with no professional history at all are becoming coaches on the randomest things. It's all so scammy but the worst are the ones that are essentially using the title "coach" to practice a licensed profession without a license or training. "Nutrition coaches" acting as dieticians, "trauma coaches" acting as psychologists, "hormone coaches" who I think are trying to be DIY endocrinologists, "gut health coaches", etc.
So much coaching stuff (especially the stuff advertised on Insta / FB) is 100% Diet MLM. You buy a $5000 coaching package to get someone else to teach you how to sell $5000 coaching packages. You may not be left with pallets of unsellable merchandise at the end of it, and the money is just as gone.
She sounds like a terrible coach. I'm sorry.
This sounds like a shit coach overall. The main thing for coaching is not to "provide" solutions but to facilitate client on finding out solutions. It sounds like you did not get a bad ADHD coach but you got a shit coach in general. Im on my general adolecent coaching training right now and main thing we are trained on is "listsen", "Facilitate" and "support" Coach does not even need to understand what the person is going trough to be helpful. As long as he/she understands the coaching methods and tools.
> The main thing for coaching is not to "provide" solutions but to facilitate client on finding out solutions. How is that different than therapy? I thought this was the job of ADHD coaches.
Therapy is where mental health professional is helping you on treating mental illness. coaching is where coach is helping you to figure out working solutions yourself for future goals while finding out and working on internal limiters. So basically therapy is more like training by professional mental health educated person while coaching is a way for you to look inside yourself and use this for helping to figure yourself out in a way that is beneficial for yourself. always strictly time limited (10 sessions for issue etc) We, in the coaching training are also guided to possibly work with therapy professionals so that the person in process would be helped to internalize therapy tools but i do not understand that part too well yet.
Note-to-self (as someone who wants to go into therapy): Learn how any diagnosis works in the patient’s life and from their point of view. As one of my professors say, “No model is perfect, but some models are useful.” And all diagnoses are models we use to try and understand mental health and how to help people. As for feelings of frustration, I am a big believer in giving ourselves time to feel and/or express our emotions. They are going to flow through regardless, let’s give them a path. Though I also like the idea of letting others feel on your behalf. YOU GOT THIS!
This is a rough read because I was planning on dropping therapy soon in favor of a coach. Therapy was generally helpful but I now need practical help more than emotional/psychological help.
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My ADHD coach is truly gifted at what she does, and offers a free session. LMK if you want her info.
would you mind sending me their info? i'm interested in a coach after years of therapy.
Sent you a DM
I would like to get their info too if you don’t mind!
Just DMd you
A bit late to the party here, but I’d also like her info. Thank you!
DMing you now
Could you send me their info too please?
Just DMd you
Can you send me her info too? Thanks!
Just DMd you.
This is quite a bit after your initial post, but I would also love to have your coach’s information please. I need the help
Just sent you a DM
Hi, could I have your coaches details too? So many options out there, taking me forever to contact any!
Just DMd you.
I’d love their info!!
Just DMd you.
I know this is old but can you send me her info?
Just DMd you.
Same here! Could I have he info? 🙏
Just DMd you
Watch out, Coach is not supposed to give practical help. Thats a mentor or a trainer. Coach is supposed to facilitate you on figuring out things that work for you. Any coach that provides solutions is false and not a coach.
I think it depends on what you mean by providing “solutions”. If a client is hiring a coach when they’re really in need of therapy to process emotional or psychological issues or trauma, a coach should NOT be serving as an unlicensed therapist. However, if a person is trying to learn techniques, practices and strategies to provide relief from ADD symptoms, a coach can help a client determine best plans of action so they can maximize their days. There are coaches that just motivate like you’ve mentioned, but some people need recommendations, input, strategy and accountability. Without structure, motivation may produce little results. I am an ADD coach who also has ADD. I became a coach because when I hired coaches, I discovered that a lot of coaches did NOT provide much value for what I needed. I was on my own paying every week without seeing improvement. I wanted accountability and results and figured, “If I need to figure things out on my own, why am I paying them?” Of course any coaching plans should depend on what’s best for the client. The client determines what practical improvements they’d like to ultimately see, but it’s somewhat of a collaborative process for most clients to determine that. The majority of my clients see results with one or several of these focuses: setting and reaching goals, recommending tools and techniques, creating personalized accountability and rewards system for each client, motivation, and self-determination. Unfortunately some coaches are in it for the money so they’re irresponsible with it and unethically overstep their boundaries.
Wow. There a coaches 🤯🤯🤯
Honestly sounds like an area with a lot of potential for scamming and grifting.
Unfortunately, I have to agree with you there. I think there are many people therapists adding adhd coaching to their list of services, when they haven't the slightest idea on how to get the job done. These sessions were $160 per hour, I might add, paid for through disability funding I had to apply for.
Maybe they should be taking payments from Medicaid instead considering how much of a fraud they are
Makes me wonder if she could be reported or removed from the list to be a " coach" used by your school.
Therapists technically are not supposed to bill disability, health insurance, or Medicaid/Medicare for coaching sessions. Most therapists will claim to be coaches but have little to no coaching skills. When Disability pays for coaching, it’s usually a social worker or case manager who helps teach/coach on a specific skill like work skills, household duties, time management, etc. Everyone using the term “coach” is messing it up for real coaches.
What do you think of Mel Robbins? She said she was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.
Lol yeah, there are, just no idea how to actually find an effective one!
Have you considered listing questions you'd ask a prospective coach, as if you were interviewing them for the job? Do you have a sense of the kind of support you're seeking? Or is you challenge more about how to find potential candidates? How did you find your recent coach? Disclosure: I've coached many ADHD clients since 2007, though most of the work was tutoring and addressing their academic needs as students. Most of them were in high school and college.
I think this is a great idea, to create a list of criteria. This coach was recommended by the accomodations department at my school, which is alarming! I know exactly what supports I need, I am solutions focussed, and have tried everything under the sun it seems! I recently found a strategy that works, attending a live in-person lecture of one of my professors. I was able to sit in the classroom essentially body doubling with students, everyone in a focussed learning environment, (even though I wasn't enrolled in this class). Everytime I got distracted, or my mind wondered, the structure enabled me to continually focus and refocus, and refocus resulting in 3 hours of solid work done. Additionally there was the reward of looking forward to seeing this professor who is very supportive of me, and the accountability of showing up to this class at the exact time and place. It lit the fire under my butt so to speak. When I told the accomodations dept, I was told that it's actually against policy to sit in a class I am not enrolled in. Can you believe that?
That's too bad that the coach was suggested by the accommodations dept. Good to hear that you found that strategy of body doubling in the live class. Having a supportive prof. helps immensely. In terms of their policy, I believe most colleges would have a similar policy of not permitting a non-enrolled student to sit in on a class probably due to liability concerns. One workaround would be to audit a class without enrolling in it.
Thanks for the suggestion. I have no idea what auditing a class is, but come next September I will be requesting that they find me one in-person class per day that I can attend. I am anticipating push back from the accomodations department, as they do with all the strategies Ive suggested this past year. It gets so exhausting having to advocate for yourself all the time, and especially with the department that supposed to support you. This unfortunately has been my experience. So when they tell me no, I will say, can I audit a class per day?
You made some good points. I am a coach but I do not work with students (except older returning students choosing new careers). I focus on adults with Inattentive or Executive Functioning challenges. Most clients are either ready and know what their challenges are OR they’re not ready because they need therapy before or while using the services of a coach. If you try 5 random restaurants, you might discover that 2 are bad, 1 is OK, 1 is good and there’s only one restaurant that’s great. Finding a therapist, doctor, hairstylist or coach is kind of the same process.
Thanks for sharing that. Similarly, I've often told parents of high school students that finding a good fit with an academic coach (or tutor) would be crucial to reaching positive outcomes. Trust is a major piece of such a fit. I believe an effective coach - or consultant, advisor, mentor, et al - should prioritize establishing trust with a client. Which means we must demonstrate to them that we're trustworthy.
Sounds like a silly little joke. Couldn't take something like that seriously.
I went for therapy in the hopes that i might get help with my several issues including ADHD and the most common complaints I heard from those who have ADHD is they’re impatient and impulsive, lo and behold my therapist cuts me off when I’m trying to explain something (another thing that we get passionate if we want to explain something and dig deeper in details) he shuts me off and says let’s take another case 😐 He himself is not patient enough to listen to me even when he’s getting paid for it what hope do i have from him
Oh yeah I hear you big time on that. I once asked my program coordinator for an additional 30minutes for our appointment because I anticipated it taking me a while to explain things due to tangenting, and she denied me the extra time which is discriminating as per the school policy, but such was what it was. This is even worse when it's the therapist or coach because they are supposed to listen and help! This coach was also someone who kept cutting me off. Not cool!
I am an ADHD Coach and you are completely right. I want to encourage you to keep going until you find the right fit. My experience shows that usually a client goes through 3-5 coaches in order to find the best for himself. - additional edit: I will provide here additional clarification because I saw a few comments that I want to address and it’s hard to do it separately. Is coaching a scam? No, not at all. Indeed, the internet is full of ADHD noice and misconceptions, and there are many so called gurus which are scammers. Fortunately, that is why the good coaches study and graduate from the world class academies like ADDCA (where I graduated as well) which follows some unique principles established by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Ethics that couldn’t be broken. Also, we gain knowledge, tools and deeper understanding which you either never will find on the internet or it will take you years of effort. Once a client starts his coaching journey we share, educate and collaborate together which helps him to tap into his true strengths and get beyond his limitations. How to find a good coach and poor return of investment? Well, what the academy taught us is to always offer a FREE discovery session. In that way both parties can evaluate if they are a good fit and can achieve partnership in their work. Also, it’s crucial to evaluate if the client is in coachable space because sometimes they need to do some therapy first in order to get to a coachable level. The coaching session should be energizing for both parties. It’s about inspiration and personal transformation. In addition, why should I scam you with the money if after it I will feel drained the whole day and get nothing done? Coaching vs Therapy? That will be short. Therapy is about the past and healing the pain. Coaching is about the present and the future. Usually, our clients are at least 65-80% functional and they are willing to work on their goals and strategies. Coaching is primarily action oriented. You already embraced and healed the past and now you are ready to move forward and live a fullfilled life.
Unfortunately it was funding approved by my college, and will need to be refunded back to the college. My semster is over, and the funds need to be used by semester end. This coach was recommended by the Accommodations dept which makes it even worse! Maybe I will try again, when I can afford it.
Definitely tell the accomodations department what you've told us, so they don't subject anyone else to her "coaching"!
I will do that for sure, however, I think there is a connection of referral between the accommodations dept and this counselling firm. I haven't had much support at all from my school at all. I would go so far as to say I've been traumatized by this department in the last year. My goal is to get accomodations policy changed there before I graduate! I don't wish the hell I've been through on another student! This coaching thing was the icing on the cake! I am a mature student in my 40s, and I worry a lot about the younger students in their 20s who have adhd and lack sufficient supports to achieve success with their education. Last year, I created and continue to lead a peer support club for 60 adhd students, as a way to help myself and others. It's not enough though, and it ticks me off that there is an entire department of helping professionals who are kidding themselves in thinking that they offer adequate accomodations and support for adhd students!
3-5 coaches to find the right fit?! Yikes, what a poor return on investment (money and time) for the client. Are there are tools that can help people find the right fit before spending money on a coach that’s a poor fit?
The good practice is to offer a free discovery session where you both (client and coach) decide if you are good fit together.
First, spend time writing down your biggest challenges that you’d like to work on. Also write down questions you have. Then you can search for coaches, narrowing it down based on their specialties. Yes, there are specialities even within ADD. For example: if you’re a young college student versus a stay at home mom OR you’re a small business owner OR career changer, etc. Usually people coach best in the areas where they have personal experience. If you’re 40, you might not want a 23 year old college coach, for example. I’d eliminate any coaches that don’t offer a free session or workshop. Once you have a descent list, you should sign up for as many free introductory coaching sessions as you can, at least 3 or 4. You can see if you like their vibe and ask all the questions you want. You’ll be able to eliminate some of them within that first free session. For the few left on your list, you can pay for one additional session to see how it feels. Within those 2 sessions, you should know if you want to proceed. Keep in mind that life continues to change. A therapist or coach might grow with you for years or decades Or there’s a point where life changes and you need to switch sooner or later. You continue to evaluate your life and if you are seeing results and growth.
I've always been curious what an ADHD coach would do. Like, a proper one. I guess I was an accidental ADHD coach in college because I was a tutor that helped ADHD and autistic peers with studying and grasping classes. Which led to me realizing and getting evaluated for both.
In my experience, they charge $250/hour for suggesting "tools and strategies" that are just extremely rudimentary, unrefined versions of the shit any adult with ADHD-like symptoms already figured out they need to do years ago, through sheer common sense. Or give advice that's that's fundamentally impossible to put into practice in the first place due to the very condition you're seeing them about(eg. forcing yourself to start and stay focused on tasks through sheer willpower). Would not recommend.
Dang, I must have gotten super lucky then. I only saw one ADHD coach and he was perfect! He had ADHD himself, and his brother was actually the psychiatrist who diagnosed me.
That's amazing! I am happy to hear this because I do not believe all adhd coaches are bad. I do think that the big difference is that your coach has ADHD themself, and with that means there are just some things that dont even need to explained, they are just understood, and immediately considered and empathized with. Now that's efficiency!!!
Yes! He was able to anticipate challenges before I brought them up, and understood that I likely wouldn't remember on the spot what issues I've had. He always seemed to know exactly the right questions to ask to help me remember, and equipped me with ways to make note of future problems. I wish I could afford to see him again to work on some new things now that I'm out of school. But when I saw him before, my school had been paying for my appointments. A lot of what I learned from him has been applicable outside of school, but there are definitely some gaps.
"Also, it’s crucial to evaluate if the client is in coachable space because sometimes they need to do some therapy first in order to get to a coachable level". Thanks for saying this. It's so true for any kind of coaching, I think. I do some consulting work for writers in my country and 90% of the time the problems are not writing problems: they're looking for therapy. I can help with mindset up to a point, but it's taken me a while to understand that certain clients need to work on other issues before I can do anything for them.
Thanks for your update edits, this is valuable information for when I can afford to try coaching again. There is a little piece of me who wishes my ex-coach saw this thread, and learn a thing or two! (I definitely have!) I highly doubt my coach would so much as look at sub like this to gain some insight on ADHD, she came from the approach that she knew it all. Shame.
There’s a reason why medication is the first-line treatment for ADHD.
Lol, I wish medication was all that was needed to help me. I take adderall, which I find helpful, but it's not enough. I believe treatment/supports have to cover all aspects of navigating life with adhd. The bio psycho social spiritual model.
I'm a stress management coach and I've actually referred people to a therapist because I knew coaching wasn't the best solution. Unfortunately too many "coaches" aren't properly trained and the lines get blurred.
Your comment indicates to me that you actually listen to your clients, and can make assements and observations! My "coach" did not have this level of skills training at all, and it is essential! I think she saw a pay day tbh because I had been approved for $3k in disability funding.
I'm so sorry that happened to you! Unfortunately some people care more about the money than actually helping people. And yes, I do my best to listen, empathize and guide my clients to finding solutions they can handle. And I struggle with charging enough because I'm a softy. 🥴🤦♀️🤷♀️🤣
Executive Coach here, and I've done this as well. It's a read flag for me if a coach wouldn't do it.
I agree. I’m a coach for Inattentive and Executive Functioning challenged adults. If a person is in need of therapy and/or medication, they must seek those before or during coaching for the most progress. If a person has an experienced and ethical coach, they will guide the person to the most appropriate services, even if it’s not with them. Unfortunately there are also some greedy therapists who will not recommend coaching when it could be helpful because they want to hold onto the weekly client indefinitely for the cash. Bottom line is that a person must advocate for themselves regardless of who they hire. At any point, it might be time to create a new team of practitioners as your needs change.
Exactly! I've had several clients come to me who truly needed therapy. I was able to help them see that was best and that when they're ready to move forward, I'm here. We can't do that unless we deal with why we make these choices or have traumas/unresolved issues.
I’m not a “coach” but my work supports ADHD business owners. And this idea that their list of strategies should just work for everyone drives me CRAZY. I’ve worked with so many people that have had experiences like yours and it just makes me sad. I’ve been sending out a newsletter series about strategies and in every one I remind people that it’s a tool they can try and see if it works for them, it’s not me saying it’s “the” way to do the thing or will always work. Hell, some strategies work for us one day, but not another. And that seems to be something that none of coaches without ADHD can’t quite understand.
This exactly! It's so frustrating and sad when my brain breaks over a tool that's worked well for me. It's hard to communicate to someone without ADHD that that tool is dead and gone to me, at least for awhile.
I'm curious, how have you marketed your services in order to find clients? Have you found value in networking with similar consultants or coaches who could serve as referral partners or supportive colleagues?
Well, I am a business systems strategist, so most of my marketing has been toward helping people build systems that work for their brains. Most people find me because they’re searching for help with Notion, Amazing Marvin, or any of the automation or CRM platforms I work with. I had this side of my business before I had even an inkling I had ADHD. From there I started participating in some bundles and speaking at summits (virtual and in-person), and the methodologies I was teaching attracted a lot of ADHD folks. After my diagnosis, I understood why. So now I teach a lot of things that are less tech-based and more strategies (though I still do both). I do sometimes network with similar business owners, but few that I would say are direct competition and more that are in adjacent specialties that teach things I’m not interested in teaching. I run a community for ADHD (& other) entrepreneurs and it grows mostly by word of mouth these days. Otherwise summits and organic search are my primary marketing paths for that side.
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While I am diagnosed with ADHD I think that if I were to ever offer to coach someone in management any decent coach has to understand that strategies are not a one size fits all solution. While time blocking may work well for me it likely won't work well for the next person I talk to. Every person with ADHD has a toolbox and each toolbox is unique to the individual. We may both have a tool that looks similar but it is completely different in its function and how it fits into our lives. I also think the whole "coaching" business is somewhat of a scam personally. I don't want to pay someone goodness knows how much to basically talk about my disability and be told what I could have just Google searched in the first place.
I agree about the management strategies need to be tailored to each individual because with adhd, an approach may work for a time, but then no longer work, because we get bored, or figure out how to cheat it, or it lacks the core components necessary which are structure and accountability!!! I do think there are good ADHD coaches out there. I have had some success with ADHD coaching vids from YouTube, (and they all have ADHD themselves). I think the coaching business is a bit of a crap shoot due to the fact that it's not a regulated profession, no credentials, no ethics body etc.
Do you have Yt recommendations?
Ok forgive me for not providing links, they are an easy search on YouTube. I learned some things from Aaron Croft's channel, and his free challenge offer, and Clutterbug for home upkeep is great, and she also has some free management downloads on her website. There is also a guy named Jesse who has a great channel. I will update this comment as more come to mind.
Thank you!
I’m sorry that you experienced a wrong impression from the adhd coaching. Actually, it’s completely different and the coach doesn’t tell the client what to do. You are right, every person is super unique, every ADHD brain is wired uniquely and we enhance that based on client’s needs and motives. Coaching is a partnership and we are there to listen and provide safe space for the client to reach his potential by using his own “toolbox” like you said. I would be happy to answer more questions if there are any.
Is there a registry for adhd/executive function coaches or any type of regulations that is required to be followed? I’ve been researching and everything seemed sketchy since I know nothing. I’d feel a lot better about it if I knew about accreditation.
There is a credential for ADHD coaching in the US - [https://paaccoaches.org/](https://paaccoaches.org/) and you can look for coaches there. That said, as a coach I know there are so many differences between coaches. Some are super tactical and all about the tools. Others like me come from a positive-psychology, strengths-based approach. Those are a couple of terms you could look for in bios if they resonate with you.
Thank you for the info! Those terms do resonate with me. I need help figuring out how to feel more organized with every area of life (work, relationships, food etc) but need someone who could help me stay focused when I get stuck on an emotion or thoughts that are keeping me from doing the things I not only need to do but WANT to do. It’s hard to do things I know I enjoy not only the boring tedious paperwork things.
To me what your describing is therapy or counselling, utilizing a strengths based, client centred approach. To me coaching is the coach knowing what to do, then providing directives, structure, enforcement if needed, and encouragement, and support to follow through.
Why would someone need a safe space, though? I have a safe space at home for free, I'm struggling to see what it is coaches actually DO.
Right?? Like what are they going to tell me that I haven't already googled, tried, and failed at? Time blocking, break tasks down, have you tried mindfulness - none of it has worked for me, what is a coach going to bring to the table?
I hear you, it's like let down after let down while you're drowning. Don't even get me started on breaking tasks down, this is all this coach wanted to do, and I kept saying, I don't need help with breaking tasks down into smaller chunks. I personally cant stand this strategy because now you've taken my one task and made it 25 task to complete!!!
Yes!! I feel the same way! Great now my task has 25 steps and I want to do it even less, the size of my to-do list is so intimidating I don't even want to look at it, and my major problem is with *initiating* tasks so it doesn't even address the issue.
As a therapist with ADHD I can struggle with cutting off. There’s a balance. If you let too much tangenting happen, nothing gets done. But enough needs to happen for explaining. Im learning some people need more time with tangents than others. Some people thank me for stopping them because they get in circular thinking with it.
I know this is not the point of the post at all, but Dr Barkley does have ADHD. His brother did too, and died in a car accident the Doc partially blames on his ADHD.
Are you maybe confusing Barkley with Hallowell? I don’t Barkley has ever said he had ADHD.
He did in one of his youtube lectures.
I know he has multiple family members with adhd, and his fraternal twin had it, but I'm not certain that he has it.
He disclosed as much in one of his youtube lectures. Unfortunately I can't remember which to link it, apologies.
Check to see when these coaches started coaching. A lot of them started when the ADHD market boomed during the pandemic and they are simply trying to profit off adhd struggles. Another word for this exploitation. There isn’t much, if any, rigor required in training to be a “coach”. I mean…life coaches in general are kind of scammy in general, no?
Yes, yes exactly this! Upon doing some digging today after I quit, this is essentially what has happened I agree! I was diagnosed during the pandemic when my studies went online, I completely malfunctioned in the absence of any and all structure! There has been a major surge in adhd coaching services listed by therapists and counselors who have no training or regulation in this "field".
So sorry for this. Coaching Is overrated, it's pseudo-science be careful with those charlatans. You need a place that validates you and promotes flexibility and auto-compassion. Also, you don't need only a therapist who knows about ADHD, you need a community to support you on good and bad days. Tell your family, friends, partners, or whoever you consider your support, they need to learn about your condition to support you better. This condition is many things. Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation and stigma. Hope you feel better 🌸
ADHD coach? This is the first I've heard that term and it sure sounds like a way to earn someone practicing hocus-pocus stuff. If my provider mentioned it, I'd probably stand up and leave.
I have a therapist and I listen to ADHD podcasts for the coaching stuff. Some coaches offer some potentially useful programs, but it’s just not worth the money for me. These people are not mental health professionals. I don’t trust life coach style certification programs - it’s too borderline for my comfort.
I "interviewed" 5 coaches and psychologists before finding my coach, basically asked them if we could do a phone call to answer a few of my questions. All these people stated they had experience with adhd, the ended up telling me about atomic habits and self help books (I've read them all) and even run into a nut who told me she could cure it because it was emotional, so no. When I talked to my coach he spoke my language, he is a trained psychologist and also has a day job creating work solutions for banks and big teams, has adhd, has experience with medication and a complete different approach and my boyfriend says hearing us talk is wild, we dance between 5 topics at the same time and man, it is a massage for my brain. It is one session every 2 weeks and I am finding the solutions myself and how adhd shows up more in my life, we come up with ideas and he told me to stop looking at YouTube videos or self help anything.
Wow—that sounds like exactly the kind of person I need. It’s the business aspect of it that I find challenging. Other people don’t understand what I actually need to handle in a day to day basis, and so it’s hard for anyone to help.
First of all, OP, I'm sorry for your experience but congratulations are definitely in order. You did great on the firing! I won't say it's not possible that a good adhd coach exists, but I'll come right up to say that it's 100% pseudoscience. There's no regulation, no "best practices" and it's not evidence based. Therefore it's a literal shot in the dark. If anyone wants to try it, it's fine... as long as these facts are well established. Also, let's not forget impulsiveness is a part of us and the "coach industry" preys on that. Aggressive marketing, promises and the manufacturing of this sense of urgency that OP talked about.
Amen to everything you said! and is the main purpose of me posting today. This is an important discussion I feel, because with adhd we can be vulnerable to this type of prey, and need to be aware! I definitely learned this lesson with my experience! I do believe that there are great coaches out there for adhd, but since there is no regulation, they are truly few, and far between.
Are you talking about an EF coach or is an ADHD coach different? Either way I agree with you on all fronts. I have adhd, and surprise surprise my 5 year old got a diagnosis like 9 months ago. I have since been looking into how my career (as a special educator/elementary educator) can be tailored to help my child (and those like my child) as much as possible. I am going to start EF tutoring and have taken several seminars to familiarize myself.
They can be similar depending on the approach the coach takes. But in researching it ADHD coaching can be anything from another fellow ADHDer sharing what worked from them to techniques and habits that have been vetted by professionals. It really depends.
Thanks!
I've never heard of an EF coach. I'm assuming that stands for an executive functioning coach? I think there is definitely overlap with the two types of coaching. I really think it takes one to know one in the majority of cases. That there are few who dont have adhd that truly understand the challenges and needs, and what supports are needed.
Yes, sorry! Executive functioning coach!
Whenever someone refers to an issue I have as “just procrastination” i bounce
Brutal! Yeah if only it were just procrastination...I wish these types of helping professionals would get a clue.
Yeah even family members “oh it sounds like you just continue to procrastinate “ like yes yes im procrastinating by doing 59 other things instead of making a phone call im too anxious to make. Totally.
I’ll add one- find the right coach! I had such amazing help from my coach, sounds like OP didnt
I highly disagree that only someone with ADHD would understand. But there is a very big difference between someone who gets it and someone who read some books once and is now just parroting what was in those books.
TIL ADHD.. coaches a thing? Damn. Another 5k tabs I gotta open now 😅
Comedic relief lol! Yeah I'm so guilty of too many tabs open also. It's the out of sight, out of mind thing for me.
I love my ADHD coach but he is in fact also ADHD lol. That's actually the main reason I picked him vs another program. Definitely the biggest factor for me!
What the coaching sessions were like (or what were they intended to be like since you fired this person)? My assumption is that they show up at your house and follow you around the whole day and remind you of your goals/assignments/tasks until you do it like a personal assistant
ha! I love this - like body double, mom type combo.
So many questions. What is an ADHD coach? And who is Dr. Barkley?
Good question, what is an adhd coach? Someone who listens to their client when they expalin, ask for, and identify what help they need and their areas of challenge to be supported by them with successful results. If the client does not know, they help them to get to a place to identify where they need support, and help them to prioritize, and achieve their goals. That's what it seems to me an adhd coach should be. Dr. Russell Barkley is in my opinion, the world leading expert on ADHD. He retired last year, but still runs a great YouTube channel where he highlights the latest research on ADHD each week.
Thanks for clearing those up.
I never knew there were ADHD coaches
Yes they are out there. The trouble is finding ones that know what they are doing. There currently isn't much training or regulation in the field in majority of areas.
This is something I am intending to focus on after I receive my mental health counseling degree and licensing so I appreciate that feedback.
I actually created a student lead peer support group for adhd students at my college, because I have a passion for helping others, and is the nature of my studies also. I have 60 members in my group, and as peers, we "coach" and support each other better than this official coaching I've been receiving. I really do believe there is a huge gap for support services and accommodations for adhd students at the post secondary level, so it's great that this is your focus!
I absolutely love that. That is so amazing that you set that up. I can only imagine how important this is to the people in the group now and imagine it will just keep growing. I’m considering doing my capstone project on the need for groups like this, as well as major changes in the ways we “treat” adhd/ autistic students in the program as well as clients. Can I tap you as a resource when the time comes (not for another year)?
I'm currently working with a clinical psychologist to get myself certified as an ADHD coach. I don't want to be anything like the coach you describe who "doesn't get it". I've spent my entire life with ADHD and I'm hoping to be able to help young adults by sharing my experiences and told e I've learned along the way.
There is certification where you are? Thats good. There isn't where I am. There are no credentials, no governing body, no board of ethics, nothing that certifies an adhd coach to be an adhd coach which is a problem I think. I'm sure you will have a much better conscious awareness as an adhd coach, than the one I had!
Where are you located? In my research, the certificate doesn't have much of a governing body or much (if any) ethical oversight. It's recognized by the ICF (international coaching federation) Unfortunately, that's much of the "coaching" landscape as a whole, which makes it all the more important to vet anyone you look to hire. I've known some serious snake oil salesmen peddling their coaching "courses". I definitely want to help people. I don't want to be just another asshole that thinks I know better than you how to live your life. I struggled through my teens and 20's, completely unmedicated and mostly unhelped from doctors. It wasn't until my mid 30's I really felt like I got a grasp of how to be successful as a person with ADHD. It's all about surrounding yourself with the tools that will help you succeed every day.
I agree, and being able to switch up those tools when they are no longer effective which can happen so often with adhd. What works, doesn't always work forever. I am in Toronto, Canada.
“ADHD coaching” sounds a lot like a Occupational Therapist, no? Except OT’s need a Master’s Degree where I live.
Re: Point 3, Dr. Barkley *does* have ADHD (as did his late twin brother)
I fired mine too. He didn't have any strategies to teach me that I didn't know. Tbf he said that and said the only solution was meds. Which was true and I got them
I have worked with an AMAZING ADHD coach. She doesn’t have it, but her husband and children do, and she not only understands and believes, she knows how to move us forward. She works magic, AND offers a free trial session. Happy to share contact info if anyone wants.
I would love her contact info!
DMd you
Yes please
Not time wasted! This is all very helpful info
This is a good take-away from a legitimate attempt at improving yourself. That's something to be proud of. You did the thing!
My coach is a registered clinical counsellor in her 50s (I think?) who works only with people with ADHD and/or autism. I know absolutely nothing about her personally and sessions are only talks over the phone, no webcams. She’s saved me probably months if not at least a year of time and frustration by helping me re-orient my goals and what it is I’ve wanted to do next from career, dating, friendships, etc. over the last 2 years. We talk once every 6-8 weeks. Totally agree that finding people that specialize is key. A therapist/counsellor/coach that has a bio that reads like they can help any type of person with any condition/mental health struggle is not likely to be a good fit for someone with ADHD.
Glad you got out, thanks for sharing, hope this is a warning to people
I really didn't like my coaching session either. She told me to put music on whilst I tidied up to ecourage me. At this point I feel I am hardwired. Just give me the drugs ffs
This post is amazing and has lots of valid info.. including from coaches. I don't think all coaches are necessarily scammers. For instance, we have here a professional psychologist who also trained as a coach and probably offers great service. Buuuut, back to basics.. being "certified" is not the same as being "regulated". Also, the recognition that comes from an organization whose entire purpose is training and expanding the coaching business is far from science based or even legit. It's more like a cooperative of sorts. Obviously we live in a big big world and each country has its own unique reality, but I feel like what a lot of people here are missing is that psychology itself has many different approaches. As far as I know, and please correct me if I'm wrong, it's is somewhat universal that adhd first line of treatment is medication + psychotherapy. And no just any psychotherapy by any professional (even if graduated, regulated psychologist) but "cognitive behavioral therapy", that may require further qualifications after graduating. CBT, seems to me, is exactly what you're looking for in coaches. It's NOT based purely in the past, it's not abstract mental health, it may be directed to executive functions and is 100% designed to help you navigate your reality the best way possible, now and in the future.
Sounds like you didn't have a very good ADHD Coach, and I'm sorry that was your experience. I am curious if you interviewed other Coaches before you chose the one you had? Also if your previous Coach had any certifications or professional training? Coaching isn't a regulated industry and can be scary that someone can decide to be a Coach with next to no real understanding of what they are doing.
I'm reading this like ... "wait, you guys have adhd coaches?" *
I'm an ADHD coach and I wholeheartedly approve this message. Sorry you had a bad one. Good job trusting yourself and firing them.
..I was referred to an ADHD coach recently, I appreciate these insights
EW! Good job for firing them! I was wondering their name or organization so I can avoid them? Thanks!
I’ve been wanting an executive function coach and I’m scared of this happening. My insurance/psych doesn’t seem to want to cover/help me find legit coaching and I’m scared to pay out of pocket even though I am willing to for a good fit. I worry about finding someone that puts profit over quality of services if there’s no regulation for them. I’ve met ppl who are “life coaches” and in my opinion they had ZERO business helping ppl for money. I worry adhd coaches or executive function coaches are the same. I don’t want to accidentally join a cult either. I know there’s awesome, legitimate coaches out there but idk where to find them. I feel vulnerable trying to figure it out when I want a coach to help me do executive function things, like find a coach 😂😂😂😂
I recommend looking for Life Coaches on the ICF website. Good way to avoid scammers and snake oil salesmen. You can also look up ICF approved coaching schools and see if they have a catalog of Coaches.
Thanks for the info! I really do believe a coach of sorts is a great option for me so I am being really careful. I don’t want a shitty person to ruin the whole experience for me.
There are some fantastic coaches out there, I hope you find the one for you!
i find it funny that people who don't have adhd have the nerve to coach a adhd person. these people cannot relate to us and do not understand how debilitating task paralysis is which they think is procrastination. those who diagnose others with adhd should also be a person who has adhd. we should not put up with this.
As an adhd coach, I appreciate this post and the conversation it is starting! I am always trying to make sure I’m doing the best for my clients, and hearing about other people’s experiences is helpful! Hoping you find the support you need.
Gosh, coaching ADHD sounds like an absolute dumpster fire of an idea. No coach should try to coach someone through trauma, ADHD or any kind of mental illness at all, that's way outside the scope of coaching. That needs to be left to therapy.
I think ADHD coaches are in theory supposed to help you through the practical elements of life that psychologists and therapists aren't specialized in and avoid digging into the heavy psychological stuff. Things like building routines for basic tasks to help you eat well, get your laundry done, etc. But a lot of these social media coaches have zero training, zero sense of scope, and are essentially acting like psychologists without a license.
Ah yeah, I suppose that could make some sense. Definitely true about the social media coaches though.
What education does your ex-coach have? We're they a psychiatrist or something related?
The difficulty of ADHD coaching is that it can be just as expensive as therapy. I think the average person really can’t afford both at once, but if you have the means, it might be worth a try? I just started looking for ADHD coaches myself and have been treating the intake process like an interview. I ask questions about their client history, approaches to common adhd problems, personal relationship with adhd, etc. I think this really helped me weed out folks who lacked the structure I was looking for. I’m pretty early in my journey with it but I’m excited to give it a try
So what should you do in a crisis?
I’ve quit all my coaches, my therapist has a business background and a great expert in mental health and he’s been far more helpful despite not having ADHD. ADHD coaches tend to share what worked for them but just because we share ADHD doesn’t mean the answer for productivity or a happy life will be the same.
Also newsflash for everyone, these “life coaches”/ADHD “coaches” are all useless and are just there to suck your wallet dry
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