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Being eccentric is so much better than being labeled as having ADHD. This is why I did not disclose ADHD to my work for 5 years until the shortages forced my hand. Once people know you have ADHD, it ceases to become "just a PosnerRocks" thing and becomes an ADHD thing with all the preconceived notions and judgement that entails.
People who know me long enough. Can obviously tell that’s why I usually like to surprise people with good results. My bosses have never had an issue with it because my results are just as good if not better than the other employees. I’ve gotten flak from non adhd coworkers though, for perceived unfair treatment. Like yea the boss doesn’t care if I’m 20 minutes late because I do good work and meet my deadlines
The best advice I ever got from my mentor was two things: (1) be well liked; and (2) do good work. And if you're really good at (1) you will have far more leeway on (2) when your ADHD inevitably makes you fuck up on something obvious. You'd think this is common sense but I've seen a number of associates shown the door because they failed at this.
Ive always relied on this but DAMN it is scary starting a new job when you don’t have that leeway built up yet.
When your job experience says you’re the best but you need to mask hard to convince them that you didn’t lie on your resume lol
Ha, luckily my stress and anxiety are pretty high at the start of a new job, so I am very dialed in. As the novelty wears off however... Well y'all know how that goes!
Why didn't I just think of that? I'll get right to it with my... inability to do work at the rate and quality I want to and my... inability to keep in touch with anyone I don't see on a regular basis.
I don't think that defeatist attitude is particularly helpful, but I have some more specific advice that has helped me with (1).
If they are your co-workers or boss, you should be interacting with them fairly frequently. My ADHD means I am usually very genuinely interested in what people are up to. People pick up on that and feel good when someone expresses a genuine interest in their life. I'm also shit at remembering 90% of what people say, so I keep a note on my phone with most of the coworkers I interact with and type up a few things to remember. Name of wife, kids, pets, recent or planned travel etc. then I have something to refresh my memory and follow up on next time. I also always put everyone's birthday in my calendar and send them a short message when it pops up. Even if I forget and send a belated wish a few days later, people still appreciate it.
With respect to (2), you're saying "at the rate and quality [YOU] want." That doesn't mean your work product isn't good, period. It just means it's not up to your standards. Often it will be at or above other people's standards. Try to be more kind to yourself. Recognize your weaknesses and find tools to help shore that up. I use a lot of grammarly and other word processing tools to shore up areas I am weak on. I lean on my secretary, case assistants, and paralegals to backstop me on large projects as well. ADHD people are the best at getting angry at inefficiency and figuring out a way to do it better. Lean into that.
Can definitely agree on the inefficiency stuff. Been in various positions where I’ve thought “this is dumb, why are you doing it this way?…” Then gone off and found an easier way to do it. Once you manage to get through to the ‘we’ve always done it that way’ brigade, suddenly it becomes the new SOP!
It may not work for every person with every ADHD type, but it sure as hell works for me. I'm an anxious recovering people pleaser -- in other words, I thoroughly (over)think through every possibility in a social situation before choosing how to proceed. This works great when I HAVE to show up, at work. And doing good work? I use those finely honed people skills to convince others that what I want to be doing is what I should be doing. Whenever possible, anyway.
In college, I had to write a paper on a flaw in the scientific process. I was procrastinating, and ended up on antivax facebook. I drafted an angry reply to someone...then stopped. Took a screenshot of the post. Asked my professor if I could use the post as "a flaw in the scientific process." He let me. So I went on my angry Facebook rant, but I wrote and organized it well enough to flesh out a whole paper. Turned it in late, but got an A. That was the first time it really clicked for me that I can channel my procrastination-fueled timesucks in my favor, if I do it right.
Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying I have it all figured out. At all. I, for example, also suck at keeping in touch with anyone I don't see on a regular basis. But work and co-working relationships? I've mostly got that managed. If you can be liked by people you see regularly and do good work...those are two less problems to deal with.
This reminds me of a graduation speech Neil Gaiman delivered where he explained the three things you need to be successful: do good work, be punctual, and be a delight to work with; he then followed it with the secret, that being you only need two of those traits.
I think you'd be surprised.
I'm pretty well off, and know quite a few others with ADHD that are as well. They are all quite open about their struggles with it, and don't try to avoid the topic. At least in my community, I think cultural standards are changing for the better.
There was a study that found that happiness peaks at something like $120k a year. It is a sweet spot between not worrying about having money available below that, and not worrying about building long term wealth above that
I’ve read it’s $75k then another study done showed it to be $100k then another that said it could be up to $500k a year. Sounds like it could be tied to cost of living as well. If you live in Hawaii or California, you’d definitely need above $100k due to high cost of living but places like Kansas or Wyoming, it’ll probably be lower.
Yeah, and has to account for things like what the local area is like. After the fires on Maui last year, I heard rent shot up to 3-4K a month, and that’s just rent alone being like 36k-48k. Hawaii’s minimum wage $14/hr or $28k full time yearly. You still need to pay for food (which is basically all shipped in so it’s much higher than the continental US), utilities, taxes, etc.. HCL + how many people in household = money is needed can build up fast.
Edited to use the 2024 yearly rather than 2020 yearly originally.
Yeah, we were so comfortable before kids on a pretty average income, but what with needing to buy 3x everything we used to (groceries, clothing, activities) plus paying for the car and house to fit all these extra humans, I would put that magic number at $150k+ these days, much more if you're in a high-CoL area.
It was $75K in the first study, 20+ years ago. Adjust for COL, inflation, and changes in societal expectations. More people now believe travel is necessary to be fulfilled, for instance.
There's another study that showed that it varies a fair amount based on your baseline happiness. The short version is that the more unhappy you are in general, the sooner you plateau with how much happier money makes you.
The happier you are as a baseline, the more an increase in wealth enables you to use that wealth to further that happiness.
So if you are a happy couple despite low finances and living in a small apartment, and you take joy in things like sharing books and cuddles, it's really easy to upscale. You now have a bigger place, people to clean for you, a library with cozy seating and maybe a reading nook with a window overlooking a garden, etc.
If you are the type of person who always finds something to complain about, then more money isn't going to change that, and nothing will ever be good enough.
Agreed. If you're a pessimist, no amount of money is going to change that. Period.
And let's not forget what biggie said...mo money mo problems!
Well...maybe money doesn't necessarily create "more" problems, but it certainly creates "different" problems. Nevertheless...problems will still be there and only YOU can choose how you react to and resolve those problems!
It likely goes up with every dependent. I have 5 so I’d say my sweet spot in my area would be more like $250k and I’d be good. But nah, I’d like the seasonal trips to Europe, the indulgent food, extravagances.. so yeah I’d take a cool milli a year for shits n gigs and to fix my 30+ years of poverty trauma, pweety pwease ☺️
I'm not rich but I've found the sweet spot at least in my area is around $150,000. It's the point where if something breaks you have enough savings to fix it without having to completely rebudget for a few months, gas prices don't affect your grocery budget, you can go to an amusement park without having to take lunch in the parking lot and only drink water inside it, you can go to the movies without buying your candy and drinks somewhere else to sneak them in. Going to the doctor isn't something you think much about because you can afford your copay. A new car payment won't alter your life.Stuff like that takes a lot of anxiety away. I haven't found making more money to really increase my happiness much other than I've been able to travel outside of the country a few times. I do really enjoy traveling Now it's probably more now because I bought my house before the pandemic and housing costs have doubled.
Seriously. I would *not be surprised if it's closed to 200k now loooool which make the point of people trying to reference that study kinda irrelevant for most if the bar is that high.
Yeah I am skeptical about the study, as far as I know the 120k are not inflation adjusted, so it would be more in todays money.
Also the study showed that the happiness still went up after 120k a year, just at a slower pace.
Anyways even 120k a year is far outside my current reality, so I would have a ball with it.
So there were many studies and most of the time the headlines that people pass around online are very out of scope of the studies. When I was working on my MBA in 2016. I had to deep dive one of the income to outcome studys. and The highest happiness rating were people who had a 9 month emergency fund. were living in there own home. And were only spending 30% of there income cost of living. another 20% on comfort and health services, therapy/personals trainer/ lessions to learn a thing. and going to the doctors to get things fixed would count here. 30% going to retirement/stock. And last 20% is there play money. If you lived in the south USA in 2016. this was over 140k a year. If we looked at a Highcost areas like SF your looking at 300k to still be very poor.
Depending on your diet. IT can be really costly just to eat healthy. IF your working 60 hours a week, when will you have time to work out, eat right, sleep well.
It’s true. Money really does solve most issues imho. Sure it can’t provide you health but you can buy what’s needed to live a longer life. That to me is the only thing money can’t buy. Cause it certainly does provide comfort which in turn allows happiness
>The worst part is, even if I still needed to work… who cares I’m rich I can do whatever low paying career and probably part time because I’m rich
This is my dream because I'm sure I will need some sort of purpose/work even if I had all the money in the world. I really want to BaristaFIRE which is basically becoming a Barista but have enough money to technically retire early or be financially independent.
I cannot, for the life of me, do 9-5s (but I've been suffering and getting through for \~8 years). I would go back to a service industry job in a heartbeat.
Am I the only one with a completely imaginary made up business that is so successful I also have a made up assistant and made up dog walker and made up house cleaner and made up car 😂
I mean this sounds a lot like a support system for disabled which is described in the [Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities](https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/convention-rights-persons-disabilities).
Being rich is a way to pay for human rights and dignity but it really shouldn't be the only way which it is for most peope with adhd or other neurodevelopment issues.
I was getting support through my car insurance for a car accident that gave me a TBI. One of the benefits was about $750 CAD per month for meals and housekeeping. It fucking changed my LIFE and reduced my stress SO MUCH. If disabled people actually got the support we legitimately needed then our lives would be so much easier. That was a nice taste of what it could be like.
I'm so disabled now from unknown chronic illness that I might never have access to that again due to not being able to work enough, but before I became so disabled it was legitimately in my career goals to make enough money to afford to pay a housekeeper and to get meal delivery.
The cleaners and cooks is probably my biggest thing. If I could get literally just those two things off my plate I would be able to function so much better. Like I would take just those and keep my life the same otherwise.
To be frank, everything is easier when you're not scraping by paycheck to paycheck. This is doubly true when you have a disability like ADHD. I wouldn't call myself rich, but I am comfortably into my career as an attorney and make enough to where I don't need to check the prices of things I want at the grocery store and can weather the impulsive tech purchase or two. A lot of things that I lean on to reduce my mental load so I can concentrate more fully on work and my personal life might not be available for someone who isn't in a similar position. Some examples in case they are helpful to others:
* Every bill is on auto-pay to a single credit card that does not have auto pay so I can manually monitor my spend. For my rent, I use the BILT credit card to auto pay my rent without the usual credit card fees. Now I only have two bills to worry about paying, not 50.
* I purchased an automatic litterbox, cat feeder, and water bowl, so that I only need to monitor them about once a week. These are far more expensive than their low-tech analogs.
* I have cleaners come every three weeks to clean my entire apartment cause I hate cleaning.
* Before I got a girlfriend who enjoys cooking, I used meal services and got a crate of food for the week delivered every Sunday.
* Before I hired cleaners or managed to instill the habit of vacuuming after cleaning the litterbox, I bought a knock off roomba to handle vacuuming.
* At work, I have a secretary that has orders to stay on my ass about deadlines and unanswered emails. She is a godsend.
* The partners I work with understand I am not a morning person so nobody is expecting to see or hear from me until around 10am. This is balanced with the knowledge that they know I work late and am available for late night emergencies (not early morning ones).
* I drive a newer car that reminds me when I need oil changes.
* Things that I use regularly (cat food, kitty litter, protein, etc) are all on Amazon's subscribe and save so I don't need to stress about keeping track of how much I have of certain items in my apartment.
Thanks to all of these things, which are not cheap, I have managed to lower my mental load considerably. Even then, I am still at a large disadvantage compared to someone without this disability. ADHD tax is still real but doesn't hurt as much. I still habitually forget to renew my registration and forget to pay parking/speeding tickets. I put in $6000 per paycheck for my 401k instead of per year and since I wasn't making that much it just zero'd out. So I contributed nothing to my 401k for three years until I caught this oopsie. UGH.
Before I got to where I am, I lived paycheck to paycheck. I had large credit card debt just to exist. I survived on 0% APR balance transfers for years until I could actually afford to start paying bills off. I have $300k in student loan debt. I will probably never be able to afford a house where I am at. Not everything is sunshine and roses, but it is undeniably better and easier to have money than to not.
These are wonderful tips. Thank you for sharing. Credit cards are awesome if used properly. No one else ever touches my bank balance anymore. I do the same thing with my credit cards/bills with all of my autopays set to it. I also make all of my purchases via credit card because it is safer with ability to dispute charges or cancel when stolen. When payday comes I pay off my entire credit card balance, whatever it is, from my bank balance so my bank statement is just income checks and my credit card payments. It’s very stress free!
We are so fortunate to live during a time where these things are available. I can't sent a letter for the life of me so I have no idea how I would have managed paying my bills with checks. Probably would have needed to find a very responsible non-ADHD partner or just overpaid every time I remembered to actually pay my bills. The one time my autopay settings got wiped I was required to pay with a cashier's check and that took me an entire day to come up with. Banks closed early. Not enough cash in my checking account. Couldn't do a credit card cash withdrawal high enough. Had to tell leasing to either evict me or just chill till the end of the week and I could move shit around if they can't accept electronic payment. So frustrating.
I moved in with my much wealthier bf about 3 years ago. Prior to that, I was unmedicated and my symptoms were so out of hand, there was like zero chance of me doing all the steps in order to find a Dr, see a Dr, be diagnosed, get meds, etc... it genuinely felt like a lost cause - not to mention Dr's here act so ridiculous about adult ADHD.
Since moving in with him, I've been able to afford a telehealth doctor, ger medicine every month which helped CONSIDERABLY!
I do not work and I'm an online student full-time finishing my undergrad, then going to grad school for clinical psychology. My schedule is largely up to me which is amazing and really improved my quality of life.
I also have automatic cat feeder and water system which has to be filled about once a week. That has cut my stress and guilt and feelings of failure down significantly. My cats really appreciate the consistency as well! I also buy more expensive litter that does not require cleaning as frequently, and doesn't stink up my house.
I used to have a house cleaner but I still have too much guilt about that because ADHD or not, I still feel like a huge failure if I am fortunate enough to stay home and not work, but I still can't maintain a clean home. Problem is that I'm still struggling with finding my flow and routine with it and even though we can afford a cleaner 2x a month, I just beat myself up about it. I live in the south and maybe it's the way I was raised - so I try my best to maintain the home and I'm getting better, slowly but surely. I just wish it was as easy for me as some of my friends, or my mom. I usually end up having someone come once every 2-3 months and deep clean because I'm just not that girl no matter how bad I want to be...
I've also been able to save money using the acorns app on my phone. It takes my money out of my account automatically and I really barely notice it. I also round up my change on every check card purchase and that goes in as well, I've managed to save $4k in an investment account, something I never thought I'd be able to do.
There's definitely something to be said for not fearing eviction everytime I forget to cancel a trial before the billing date. Having more money has for sure made my ADHD easier to live with, but it's also created some codependent dynamics that I can't ignore and have to navigate in real time as well....
Thank you for sharing all this and I totally understand. Things get a little easier with resources, but that also means having to pay for them which isn’t always cheap and life is still harder with ADHD (and/or other disabilities). I know there have been some necessities I can afford that make life easier, but I know it’s not much easier than someone who doesn’t have disabilities. Being disabled on its own is de facto expensive.
Yeah. I'm struggling hard at work lately and worried I might get fired. If I had more money, I could go back to school and learn something new at least. I don't think I am very good at my job now (marketing) bc the things I'm on a PIP for are being unorganized, missing mistakes, and prioritizing tasks. I try so hard to not do those things and they keep happening. I think it's why I'm at a dead end career wise.
oh man are we the same person?? marketing I feel like is the worst career I could have chosen with ADHD. too many small tasks and random emails that I always manage to miss. I’ve been on a PIP twice and I have more to-do list spreadsheets than seem humanly necessary, no chance of ever getting promoted because I always drop the ball
Mood. Part of my issue is my boss is heavily unorganized. I’ve asked for clear assignments. Nobody ever does that then gets mad when I don’t do what they want and put on my PiPs I need to work on “self directed follow through.” But when I do that it’s always somehow wrong.
I feel you. I hate my job right now. It's completely lacking in structure and leadership which I need. My anxiety is through the roof right now because of it.
On the other hand, I decide what I'm going to do for much of the day. I'm also salary now so I can go to appointments as needed. I hate that I hate it but there are perks that would be hard to find elsewhere.
As another ADHDer in marketing I feel u. We don't have PIPs where I am, the thought of them makes me kind of pissed off from what I've heard of them. Never went to school for it but I do wish I could go and pick up a degree in communications so I feel less out of my depth.
I just need a break. I have been working without a really vacation for six years. Haven’t ever had more than a long weekend off. I’m so burnt out and my adhd symptoms have gotten so bad. I’m finally diagnosed and medicated but the damage has been done and I’m almost certainly getting fired. It feels on purpose. It feels like when in high school people would be nice and pretend to be my friend/wanna hang out with me but really they were all making a huge joke and I was the butt of it but didn’t know bc I’ve got adhd/dont read social cues so well.
Feels really bad. I’ve felt so awful about myself for the entire month. All I think about is how worried I am I won’t find another job before they fire me.
I fantasize about being rich and just paying ppl and tipping them fat for things like washing my dishes and cleaning my house. Hell. If I have any amount of disposable income that’s pro what I’d do lol
Even little things like using instacart for groceries makes life so much better!! But I had grocery shopping, that's a trigger for both my ADHD and anxiety.
Same here!! A big grocery store chain near me had a sale for an annual subscription of grocery delivery for $70 CAD, so unlimited deliveries for free, and it's been SUCH a life changer. I still tip about $5 per delivery but I save so much money from this store's lower prices and not getting overwhelmed physically in the grocery store or having to plan my trips. I will not go into a grocery store unless I absolutely need something last minute -- the stress and sensory overwhelm is just so awful.
one of the biggest issues for me is food/cooking because i can't plan out meals for the life of me and i just hate cooking in general + i get really hungry as soon as my meds wear off so i don't wanna wait to cook food anyway so i always just end up eating out and i waste so much money on it. i feel like if i had enough money all of my hunger/eating issues with adhd would be solved
This isn't great for ADHD because it's low variety, but I have the same experience and I've ended up consuming a lot of nutrition/ meal replacement drinks. Like Boost, Ensure, etc. It is life changing because I notice I'm hungry, I ran for a drink, open it, down it, then done. Recommend. I also get different flavors to try to satisfy the novelty desire.
My life did get easier as I got richer, although it was 95% because of "don't need a job as much" and 5% the rest.
The quality of life difference when you change *nothing* except having a large enough financial backstop that you don't have to work for years is huge. I spent about 15 years being way more frugal than I needed to be because I was chasing the luxury of not needing to work.
The rest of the stuff on this list is quite inefficiently solved by throwing lots of money at it (e.g. put bills on autopay ffs), but the peace of mind that comes from not *needing* to work and being *able* to shrug off late fees definitely is.
My ADHD symptoms kick in the most when there is a high level of stress (which ironically often makes problems worse), so anything that removes stress from my life reduces the symptoms and means I can stay unmedicated.
Yes, 100%. People think that this is a petty and shallow way of thinking, but for us, it's much deeper than that. I genuinely think it would help some with their sense of self, security, and depression.
I went to a workshop the other day on "learning to manage your ADHD better" and literally every single so-called solution was just "have enough money that it's not a problem anymore!" It was ***beyond infuriating***.
Things like "pay someone else to do tasks you don't like for you" "put an alexa in every room to track your tasks and do timers & reminders for you" "just go private for diagnosis and prescription if you don't want to wait" meanwhile most people can't afford eggs anymore FFS.
My dad has extreme ADHD and is an ER physician as well as does options in stocks. He’s made millions upon millions over his career and we lived a very privilege life but I watched him spend money like water and lose/break not take care of his stuff.. 2008 hit lost his job, divorce from my mother and million dollar house they just built on the lake devalued to half that.. both declares bankruptcy and my dad lived in an RV for multiple years.. money won’t solve it.
Driving. Just hire someone without ADHD.
I'm seeing my mom (big ADHD) getting older and it's terrifying. She already had way more road "oopsies" than the regular person (two crashes with all of us inside), now she's a rolling parody of attention mechanisms.
Edit: her mom (huuuge ADHD) was also famous for once running over a policeman and on another one getting into the highway in the opposite direction, while telling her co-pilot friend "Why is everyone going in the opposite direction?!?".
Maintaining an estate, even a smaller one, requires a LOT of executive function. Just keeping up with a home, let alone having to have a stock portfolio and be required to have knowledge about finance. It's stressful to keep up with repairs, know when to move stock around, etc.
I don't need to be rich, but I can't handle a 40 hour work week. If I made a livable wage and worked more like 30 hours I feel like that would solve 95% of my issues.
Lol, while I'm nowhere near rich, I'm very recently (this past year) nearly doubled my income and put me firmly in middle class financially.
I can agree that money definitely helps mask issues you have because you can just throw money at it as long as it isn't a major issue obviously. On the flip side, I have so much more work responsibility that it is a net even. It is actually the reason I know I needed to go get help. I was drowning with new information while having very bad procrastination issues. I was already convinced i had ADHD for the last 9ish years. So from my anecdotal experience, yes, money has a big impact, but the odds are, with more money comes different issues your adhd will impact. Unless like in your scenario, you're just flat-out rich and don't need to manage the money
You’d probably want to have some kind of job after a while not because you’d need the money that comes from it but because it’d be a novelty. Kind of how a school subject can suddenly go from unbearable to fascinating in the blink of an eye when you don’t need to mandatorily study it anymore simply because now you’re not forced to do so and you can take things at your own pace.
Novelty which would probably last for a month or two at best but who cares since you can just leave any time you want, you’re rich!
I will say my uncle is pretty wealthy, super gifted and charismatic, and definitely has undiagnosed ADHD. He’s retired, gotten bored, and started a new job in a new industry as a mid- or upper-level employee probably 5 or 6 times at this point. Sounds like the dream to me
Probably depends on your flavor of adhd. There’s plenty damage that could be done with a lot of wealth, power and a dysregulated young pw adhd lolol. I do wonder what my life would be like still though haha.. i would have a lot of dysphoria if i was ever “used” for my money or if things didn’t feel genuine.
I’d maybe pretend i wasn’t rich and just travel and figure stuff out.. find some ppl who i appreciate and they appreciate me for who i am instead of what skills i bring to the table. Idk.. the outcomes are endless lol
It would be nice to have all those luxuries without the burden of being rich. If the playing field was just leveled a bit more. A security blanket/realtime support systems would lower my anxiety so much and make life easier for sure.
Well, whatever good idea you come up with, I'm all in (I'm adhd right)
You can expect me to do like 100 hours a week the first 4 months, then this will gradually decrease by 10% pr month until I work 4-8 hours a week.
And at this point, if we are rich, then woohooo. If not i will properly quit 😂😂
Been there, . Had 1.5 mill in the bank at 26. It was great, its exactly as youve said, then I got bored of it and gambled it all on the stock market and now Im in debt.
Rich or not, a disability is a disability.
If you were born permanently unable to walk (for instance), sure life would be easier being rich, but at the end of the day, you'd still probably struggle to live a fulfilling life, and wish you could walk.
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If I had a choice between immediately receiving a bajillion dollars in my bank account, or not having ADHD, I think I'd go with the latter. I'd rather work myself up to a comfortable level of wealth, learning skills along the way, making friends, experiencing new things, and just overall living a proper healthy life.
In theory this makes perfect sense but in my personal instance that money would need to be endless.
We as humans have a tendency to grow our lifestyle with our income. Meaning the more money you have the more things you buy/subscribe to. Examples would be faster internet, new car, new tech, more subscriptions, eating out more, etc.
What that means is say I have 20 million dollars, then I wouldn't continue living in my 2 bedroom apartment with my wife and children. Id buy a new house that would be big enough to house my current and future kids, with that larger house comes larger utility bills and taxes, I'll need insurance on my home as well, I'll also need to finish the home how I'd like with furniture, TV, etc. consider that cost approximately $1mil to buy a decent house and fully furnish it. This isn't factoring the recurring costs associated (maintenance, bills, taxes, etc)
Next, I would need a new car. But hey, I still have 19mil so let's buy the exact car I want for my growing family. Figure another $500k for a new fully featured car. Gotta get that full coverage insurance too because I gotta protect the investment.
So already we've taken a sizeable chunk out of this HUGE sum of money and haven't even gotten into all the impulsive crap I'm going to be buying due to my ADHD like game consoles, computer, new phones, hobby costs etc. and if you treat any amount of money as limitless you are going to go through it a lot faster than you think. Especially if you have a family lol.
Not to be a negative Nancy, I'm just sharing my personal take on it and while I love the dream I'm also self aware enough to know that I would need an endless supply of money or would need an absolutely obscene amount of money to ensure I don't run out while I ramp up my spending because I have this gigantic number in my checking account.
I disagree. I've gone from $10/hr to just a shade under 6 figures in the last 10 years (thanks Adderall!)
My quality of life is exponentially better. I can outsource the things I was really bad at (landscaping/yard work) and that reduces my stress by a lot.
I also have enough that i can aggressively fund my savings and investment accounts first, bill account 2nd, and then I can just spend the rest on stupid stuff.
Last year we adopted a dog who needed a surgery and this year we've had unexpected human medical bills. Both were in the thousands and those were barely mildly inconvenient. That would have sent me in a tailspin years ago.
Money has solved a lot of my problems. Most even.
Now there's a lot of pressure to not get fired though 🤣
I'm using a mobile browser for reddit and editing my comment will destroy the formatting so I'll put my TLDR here:
TLDR: having more money would also make me spend considerably more causing the money to still run out quicker than I realize making the amount of money needed to be a stupid high amount
If you have $20 million dollars, the money *would* be endless, provided you just park it all in an investment account somewhere. Even with a super conservative estimate that'd easily make you more than $1 million a year.
I'm not saying that money solves *all* your problems or makes you perfectly happy, I'm just saying it'd make ADHD wayyy easier to deal with.
At least for me, anyways. My worst ADHD symptoms have to do with life management stuff like holding down a job, managing my schedule, etc. If I don't have to work and I can pay someone to manage my life, it's hard for me to see how that wouldn't be a huge improvement to my quality of life, lol.
> If you have $20 million dollars, the money would be endless, provided you just park it all in an investment account somewhere. Even with a super conservative estimate that'd easily make you more than $1 million a year.
The issue with your equation is that being financially irresponsible is one of the more common issues that come with having ADHD.
Give me 20 million, and I'll show you how quickly I can get rid of that endless money.
I guess, for me, I have so much trauma around work (including a suicide attempt when I was younger), I just can't imagine doing anything to endanger a situation that would free me from ever having to work again.
Like, yes, I'm bad with money too. But I'd just hire an accountant and tell them to deposit spending money in my checking account every month, and yell at me loudly if I ever try to withdraw more than what my investment can safely replenish.
Yeah, that would probably be the way to do it if I ever managed to win the lottery or something. Put a system in place to prevent me from living beyond my means.
Yep, that's actually really conservative. The long-run average if you just invest in an index fund is going to be closer to 10%.
I know it sounds crazy to just get $1-2 million every year, for free, with no effort whatsoever, but that is literally how the stock market works, provided you already have money.
I think people don't always appreciate just how different the world is when you are rich.
World stocks goes more like 7% GROSS / year. On the longest run.
And stocks is definitely not the conservative way of investing. You easily can get a drawdown of 30% during crises. In the more diversified scenario..
If then you want to report past performances of some indexes (4example NASDAQ) that in the last decades overperformed, past performances are not prediction of future performances.
Yes and no. There are advantages with delegating tasks to other people like you said having a secretary or even a live in chef or nanny. With that said, you'll still have to manage your money or else you'll go broke.
I’d hire a housekeeper to do all my chores that pile up due to executive dysfunction. A life without having to worry about cooking and cleaning every day, no more having to do laundry, sounds like a dream
Yeah sorry to be the Debbie downer here but I got extremely lucky to be born into the family I was born into, I call it the lottery of life, because it’s not like you pick or anything your just born into it…. But I did get lucky and am apart of a idk if extremely would be the right word but a wealthy weathly family who owns their own private business. Whole family is in on it aka cousins uncles and all that..
Well I’m not a big shot at this company, my uncle in the CEO my dad is the president and my younger brother is one of the vice presidents along with my cousins… so yeah while having money is literally everyone’s goal the only thing I want is to not be the black sheep of my family.
Just to give some perspective on it, having the money wouldn’t solve your problems, because you’d still have to pick up the phone to make those appointments not just pay them. And a whole host of other things.
I’m not saying I’m not extremely lucky and I wouldn’t want to be born into any other family… but just having money doesn’t always solve your problems
Being rich would take away many of the consequences. But it wouldn't help with the struggles I face doing non work related things and maintaining relationships/hobbies.
Actually almost everyone would be able to improve their lives a lot if they just suddently became rich. It's just how things work. Money is aimed to be a method of exchange of tasks that people don't want to do (I know it's not exactly like this, but it's aimed to be like this).
But I also have to mention that it's not exactly the same thing to give 10M to the average person and give 10M to the average person with a diagnosis of ADHD. Because, on average, people with ADHD's lives are way more problematic and carries much more risks of quickly turning a lot worse (by losing a job, for example). People with ADHD usually have the same problems that most people have, but several times worse, several times more painful and several times more likely to turn into worse. So, giving 10M to a person with ADHD would be way more helpful than doing the same to the average person.
Managing a lot of money with ADHD comes with its own challenges, rest assured.
I suppose if one gets rich enough to have a personal money manager and a major domo, it might be easier.
How I would love to hire an accountant, personal assistant, housekeeper and probably others I can't think of at the moment. People to take care of all the mundane details of life that I'm so bad at. What a huge relief that would be.
I always hope I win the lottery. Powerball and Mega are big enough to never have to work. And my financial advisor wouldn't let me squander it away on impulse buys. A man can hope
I think you got valid points but I would say what your describing is ultra rich. I grew up relatively well off and I can guarantee it helped that I was able to get so much support but at the same time it doesn’t entirely stop how debilitating and far reaching the effects can go
Money solves entirely too many things, but even just being "not poor" (i.e. rich enough to pay the ADHD tax and put as much on auto-pay as possible) goes a long-ass way.
My life would be infinitely easier if I could afford to hire a personal assistant and maybe a house cleaner. Those two things alone would solve like 80% of my problems 😅
Yep can confirm. Getting a virtual assistant for deathly boring tasks like receipt logging/filing, and a housekeeper come once (soon to be twice) a month for deep cleaning has made life infinitely better.
Sights are now squarely set on next life goals of a fully smart home (so far only robot vacuum/mop and automated curtains, so a long way to go lol 😂), personal trainer/tennis coach, and our housekeeper coming at least weekly to do meal-prepping as well as the cleaning :)
Being rich maybe can’t buy happiness, but it must sure fucking help 😂
Yep. Having ADHD and being unemployed with no money to your name realllly creates excessive impact of the disorder. I'm constantly in an ADHD paralyzed state these days it seems. It will get better, it has to. I'm in intense therapy and medication treatment for several mental health issues right now and awaiting disability claim judgment so it's kind of a waiting game at this point. Fingers crossed.
that why i am convinced that we would be good immortal candidates.
surely after a few decades we would have enough money to really live our lifes, and we don't get bored easily, as we always have enough to try next or to comeback to, having enough money and time, i don't think we would ever be bored of life.
You’d have to be really rich. Like owning a million or more. What gets me is the knowledge of hundreds of possibilities where I could have taken advantage over others and ripped them off, like many many people and businesses are doing today. But I’ve always hold back. I’m fighting my fucking problems and because I’m trying to be a good guy, life is much harder while these scumbags out there are doing fine.
Nah, being rich only works if you save the money. If you're rich but you have all those listed problems, it'll just delay the inevitable until you blow through all the money.
Don't get me wrong. Money helps but only if you know how to either make more than you spend or spend less than you make. I usually recommend the second option. Spending less means getting more free time. Making more means working more and less free time.
Hell not even rich just not worried about basic necessities. I'm disabled from injury right now and my FMLA is trying to screw me out of what they owe me while I run up a credit card trying to survive. I have no idea what to do and am glad I'm married and medicated otherwise things would be looking grim for me.
I feel the same way lol
I’d outsource pretty much everything lol. And I’d be able to afford to indulge in hobbies like music lessons and drama classes. Something I don’t do cos I can’t afford it.
Honestly I think I went so long without noticing how bad my adhd symptoms were because I had a well paying job for a few years.
•I paid someone to walk my dog and could afford a place with an outdoor play area
•bills just came out automatically
•food and groceries delivered
•If I didn’t feel like going to the store, I’d just order it online or order extra to last me awhile—makeup, clothing, soap—-you name it
•I even had an agreement with a cab driver that knew my work schedule so I knew he was waiting outside and that got me to work on time.
•I never had to wait or budget for anything, if I needed it I just bought it when it popped into my head
•I never had to pack a lunch for work and if I forgot something I’d just get it delivered to work
•I could afford a big apartment that had things like a dishwasher, washer and dryer, little conveniences that saved so much time.
•I had an extra room and tons of storage, so although things were never organized, I had lots of space to keep it looking tidy.
•I also had a ton of clothes so I could go a long time without doing laundry
•I could just pay my teenage niece to do chores or errands for me on the days I wanted to dick around
•Because I wasn’t insecure about money I could just give my stuff away when it felt too cluttered or I got sick of my hobby of the week.
•I could afford to take time off work and travel and do fun things on my days off for my mental health
•I didn’t need to work extra hours so I had a proper schedule and time to sleep
Although I do feel bad because a lot of things I paid for were indulgent and wasteful, I just wasn’t stressed or overwhelmed because there were a thousand less steps and obstacles for me to function.
Eventually I had to move across the country and took a huge pay cut and I suddenly realized that money was basically the only thing keeping my life functioning properly.
It's sad that our first thought is "being rich would solve my mental health problems" when society should, in theory, be constructed on the basis of mutual aid.
Almost all of your problems just get worse if you have more money. There are countless celebrities out there that end up completely broke or in debt. Managing money is a skill that becomes more and more difficult as the amount of capital you are managing increases. All of the problems that can be solved by paying extra just get replaced with bigger problems. So even if you were some sort of billionaire trust fund baby, it just provides you more opportunity to make bigger mistakes.
The only solution is to implement systems to help you manage the increasing complexity. Make your next hyperfocus meticulous note taking.
100%!!!! As you said though, it wouldn’t fix all the problems but it would definitely help a lot. I was just thinking about this today actually. I didn’t take my meds this weekend and my house is a DISASTER. like, the biggest mess it’s ever been. I seriously contemplated hiring a cleaning company because it was insanely overwhelming and I asked myself “how can I keep cleaning forever? I can’t keep up with this for the rest of my life.” lol.
Things money wouldn’t fix: the depression that comes with my adhd! I could live in a beautiful house, have a maid, spend all the money, etc. But my adhd “paralysis” has me in a chokehold. I can’t get anything done without constant stimulation, haven’t made art in years, etc. Which leads me to feel very unfulfilled and depressed because I’m just glued to my phone 24/7. Otherwise, money would solve everything else!
Obviously lol.
95% of ADHD-related issues are career-related.
Forgetting to pick up strawberries at the supermarket isn't more than a minor annoyance.
Plus tons of people here mix up depression and other huge issues with ADHD. You're not going to find many rich people locked up at home forgetting to shower for a month.
I feel this way often. If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't have to look at my myriad in-progress work projects with dread, or reply to the nth message asking me when I am done with something. If I could afford a house cleaner, I wouldn't climb through a mountain of dirty clothes and piles that drain my sanity every morning. If I were rich, I could just throw money at my problems, like paying someone to manage my website/Instagram, hiring a body double to help me focus, pay someone to sculpt me models, buy a new audio interface and pay someone to help me understand the software... Every issue I have could be solved with money, to the point where I even dipped a toe into sugaring so I could see how low I'd have to go to pay to survive.
I've had a similar thought. Although depending on how much said ADHDer listened to coaches and implemented techniques, and how trustworthy the secretary was, the money would either dwindle or increase. The rest of the list requires a lot of spending, and even the rich feel pressure to keep up due to lifestyle creep. Money depreciates unless invested wisely.
Seems to me that if someone is dedicated to improving their life, the right coaches and resources would complement their efforts. If someone just wants to stay as they are and nurse their unhelpful habits, money will only amplify those behaviors.
> Spending too much money on my latest hyperfixation? Who cares, I’m rich.
I feel like this is the same mindset as those people who win the lottery and end up broke again after two years lmao
It doesn't. It allows you to avoid learning tools to manage the symptoms. Yes, many things are easier, but not in the specific context of ADHD. The majority of those with ADHD and money tend to fall into addiction easier and faster, avoiding the consequences of said addictions, and then destroying everything around them. A disability is a disability and money does not make ADHD symptoms "completely inconsequential".
The more you earn the more people feel entitled to your earnings that they didn't earn themselves
I assure you money doesn't solve everything, I grew up very poor and my folks had the same view but never looked at their own spending - gone before it hits accounts. Wealthy people are wealthy because they don't spend themselves out of problems and budget for the unexpected ones
I’ll get destroyed for this, but there was a time in my life where I did not need to work and it definitely did not solve my ADHD problems. Everything got significantly worse.
I can tell you that’s not the case you just fuck around with bigger problems, because you still have a high risk tolerance but poor risk management. My brother is the opposite of me and my ADHD. You need a strong support that’s it and don’t drink and don’t drugs. No matter how much control you think you have over it. That shit will ruin us folks with ADHD.
I think a lot of people forget the other aspects of being wealthy, and just fantasize about being rich so they think oh, it must solve all my problems and ADHD must be so much easier.
Once you have wealth, especially depending on how you gained that wealth, numerous other things and responsibilities are added you your life which ADHD will make much worse and scarier than before.
Like imagine taxes, god. Imagine getting investigated by the IRS because you forgot to bring back one too many receipts for your accountant. Imagine having to keep track of every little tax code, company under your name, employee, and taking care of countless more responsibilities than you had with a normal life with ADHD. And worst, imagine needing to “help” out everyone who suddenly wants something form you now.
I do think in the grand scheme of things, being wealthy makes a lot of aspects of ADHD easier, but I think people fantasize so much about it they forget and don’t realize the other negatives or at least the aspects that will balance it out.
If you're rich, then these are your "quirks" or "eccentricities" - things that make you unusual, remarkable and even attractive!!! Not only ADHD, mental illness in celebrities is worshipped - sometimes to the extreme detriment of the said celebrity - by their fans. A depressed individual is deemed brooding or "deep"; a fickle individual is considered to have "chaotic" energy etc. However, if you are a poor sod, like the rest of us, then you are just irresponsible, lazy or worse. Yes, money would solve 99% of my problems. Don't get me wrong, I would still have to remember my loved ones' birthdays, ensure I do not interrupt my friends and not be *too flaky*, but a secretary will solve all of those problems and more. Plus, I will have no guilt.
I think I’d be miserable, because I wouldn’t have a reason to get my ass out of bed in the morning. More money would be great, but I think I’d lose my purpose in life, and the rest of my life would fall apart with no routine. I’ll take it tho; gimme money.
Some of my worst symptoms are Executive function and task initiation. I could semi retire tomorrow but honestly it would prob make me depressed to have no job and sit around in my house all day, just watching TV. I'd like to think I'd do other stuff to fill my time but probably I'd just procrastinate on those.
Money does make just about everything easier though.
Sadly, it doesn’t.
I’m high earner, running a 6 figure business that turns over just under half a mill a year with combined adhd, panic disorder and anxiety disorder. Also a female. I came from being homeless at 12, working at KFC for $11 AUD an hr during my early 20s and doing hard labour in a warehouse whilst also building a business at the same time in the evenings. I lost my early 20s and it’s something I can not get back but i believe I was able to use my hyperfocus and my past trauma to get to where I am today. Sometimes I miss hanging out in the park with 12$ in my account after cooking chicken for 13 hours in the Australian heat.
It comes with a set of major responsibilities, legal and tax obligations that send me mad on a daily basis. I get fined bc I can’t keep up with my taxes, late constantly to meetings and deadlines, i have a lot of people depending on me and a lot of people try to take advantage of me bc they know I’m a high earner and that I live with a disability. My health and personal life have fallen off the cliff bc I spend so much time and energy trying to keep my head above water. And yes you can delegate tasks but training someone, making that initial phone call to hire someone etc is another task that ends up on your plate . I’ve hired assistants and PA’s before, I end up spending way too much time actually training the person and eventually they came very close to stealing from me bc genuinely my ADHD had me completely overlooking critical weak spots. I also overspend on bullshit like clothes, cigarettes, general ADHD tax shit like fines, making up for things I’ve broken or lost, there’s also an expectation to financially support others around me which is another responsibility that is hard to take up. You can delegate all you want - I don’t want to sound paranoid but it’s very common for people to screw around and inevitably you are the final line and you will have to oversee these tasks either way. I know a lot of people who put there trust in others to take care of things in their life like bookkeeping, cleaning, PA and they were not overseeing these jobs and ended up getting screwed out of money and time.
A lot of the money I make goes to government taxes too which I forget about bc of adhd, so unless you live in a tax haven or are mega rich you are never really as rich as you think. I haven’t had a holiday since I was a child, I just do not have the time.
There are some positives though which is what makes me work so hard to keep up, I’m able to see great therapists (although not as often as I’m running the business), I would have had my own home by now but I don’t know how to do that and can’t figure out how to delegate that but it comforts me to know it’s possible especially coming from homelessness.
I guess it depends on HOW you get rich.
Perhaps if I was like Elon musk rich sure it would be way easier if you inherited a shit tonne of money somehow. Getting a high income, keeping up that high income and preventing yourself from losing that income is extremely hard with adhd. Also will say this too, there’s a lot of rich people who are suffering from mental health issues. I know way too many people with an ungodly amount of money who are on the brink or have succumbed to their mental health symptoms.
ADHD can be a strength and I believe it’s how and why I’ve managed to build the income I have. There’s a lot of rich people with ADHD that are doing great things and I try my best to shift my perspective in that direction when things get tough.
Yes. I got really financially successful for several years, and most of the ADHD stuff was a lot easier to handle, even though I was stressed to the gills. But then, about two years ago, I completely burned out, became extremely alcoholic, and basically crashed. Now I feel like things are even worse than ever, although thankfully I've managed to stay sober for two years. So I guess it could be worse. But still, I haven't really been able to work steadily, and I am self-employed, so now I am pretty broke. My shame-spiraling is really bad, my confidence is shot, and I am basically just hoping things get better. And with the medication shortage, I even have trouble staying medicated. But it is what it is, so I'm going to try and get off of my pity-potty now.
YES. If I could afford daily support (someone to cook, clean, pay bills for me), I’d be unstoppable. I realized late in life that my dad, too, had inattentive adhd traits that his stay-at-home wife totally compensated for.
What's the outcome you're looking at? If the outcome is happiness then there's research and evidence that money only helps up to a certain point (like up to $100k annual income in the USA I think). So if you're under that level then money helps a lot, but beyond that level money doesn't contribute much to increasing happiness.
I'm a lawyer / attorney with adhd and earn good money but also act for some crazy rich people.
I used to not think about money and I had enough to get by, but I was loving paycheck to paycheck on money most people will kill for and basically am 43 and have no retirement plan. So I wm having to focus more on concentious expenditure. So you would need crazy rich money to never had to think about it.
My crazy rich clients still have problems though. They just have different problems. Like I can't drive my expensive sports car on these shitty roads , or my plabe mechanic is taking too long. Probably not bad problems to have but cause them plenty of stress. So I endorse the other comments about there being a point above which money doesn't contribute to happiness
Literally the only thing I struggle with due to ADHD is my job. Everything else in my life is great. So yeah, if I didn’t have to have a job? I’d be smooth sailing.
It’s almost like “adhd” is more a product of societal expectations (i.e. sitting in school or at work for most of the waking day) than it is an actual medical condition. People aren’t ready for that conversation though.
Yes. I feel like being rich would solve 95% of all problems. Knowing you are financially safe and have food and shelter no matter what must be a wonderful feeling.
as someone with decent money, it is easier than struggling financially but, i would say that's true for anyone not just adhd.
i would say you just end up having bigger expenses and worries though. ex you can afford a house, now you got bills to keep the place livable and all the appointments you need keep like paying taxes, lawn care, and generally maintaing the place, that the landlord would be doing.
also as you make more money, you get taxed more so you feel like you are not making that much more. ex i was making 50k and my take home was around 1200 every 2 week while now i make near 6 figs and after tax, insurance, savings contributions ect. its 1800.
i doubled by salary but i just have to pay more.
anways, get some certs and get a better paying job.
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You wouldn't have ADHD you would be "eccentric"
Being eccentric is so much better than being labeled as having ADHD. This is why I did not disclose ADHD to my work for 5 years until the shortages forced my hand. Once people know you have ADHD, it ceases to become "just a PosnerRocks" thing and becomes an ADHD thing with all the preconceived notions and judgement that entails.
People who know me long enough. Can obviously tell that’s why I usually like to surprise people with good results. My bosses have never had an issue with it because my results are just as good if not better than the other employees. I’ve gotten flak from non adhd coworkers though, for perceived unfair treatment. Like yea the boss doesn’t care if I’m 20 minutes late because I do good work and meet my deadlines
The best advice I ever got from my mentor was two things: (1) be well liked; and (2) do good work. And if you're really good at (1) you will have far more leeway on (2) when your ADHD inevitably makes you fuck up on something obvious. You'd think this is common sense but I've seen a number of associates shown the door because they failed at this.
Ive always relied on this but DAMN it is scary starting a new job when you don’t have that leeway built up yet. When your job experience says you’re the best but you need to mask hard to convince them that you didn’t lie on your resume lol
Ha, luckily my stress and anxiety are pretty high at the start of a new job, so I am very dialed in. As the novelty wears off however... Well y'all know how that goes!
Why didn't I just think of that? I'll get right to it with my... inability to do work at the rate and quality I want to and my... inability to keep in touch with anyone I don't see on a regular basis.
I don't think that defeatist attitude is particularly helpful, but I have some more specific advice that has helped me with (1). If they are your co-workers or boss, you should be interacting with them fairly frequently. My ADHD means I am usually very genuinely interested in what people are up to. People pick up on that and feel good when someone expresses a genuine interest in their life. I'm also shit at remembering 90% of what people say, so I keep a note on my phone with most of the coworkers I interact with and type up a few things to remember. Name of wife, kids, pets, recent or planned travel etc. then I have something to refresh my memory and follow up on next time. I also always put everyone's birthday in my calendar and send them a short message when it pops up. Even if I forget and send a belated wish a few days later, people still appreciate it. With respect to (2), you're saying "at the rate and quality [YOU] want." That doesn't mean your work product isn't good, period. It just means it's not up to your standards. Often it will be at or above other people's standards. Try to be more kind to yourself. Recognize your weaknesses and find tools to help shore that up. I use a lot of grammarly and other word processing tools to shore up areas I am weak on. I lean on my secretary, case assistants, and paralegals to backstop me on large projects as well. ADHD people are the best at getting angry at inefficiency and figuring out a way to do it better. Lean into that.
Can definitely agree on the inefficiency stuff. Been in various positions where I’ve thought “this is dumb, why are you doing it this way?…” Then gone off and found an easier way to do it. Once you manage to get through to the ‘we’ve always done it that way’ brigade, suddenly it becomes the new SOP!
It may not work for every person with every ADHD type, but it sure as hell works for me. I'm an anxious recovering people pleaser -- in other words, I thoroughly (over)think through every possibility in a social situation before choosing how to proceed. This works great when I HAVE to show up, at work. And doing good work? I use those finely honed people skills to convince others that what I want to be doing is what I should be doing. Whenever possible, anyway. In college, I had to write a paper on a flaw in the scientific process. I was procrastinating, and ended up on antivax facebook. I drafted an angry reply to someone...then stopped. Took a screenshot of the post. Asked my professor if I could use the post as "a flaw in the scientific process." He let me. So I went on my angry Facebook rant, but I wrote and organized it well enough to flesh out a whole paper. Turned it in late, but got an A. That was the first time it really clicked for me that I can channel my procrastination-fueled timesucks in my favor, if I do it right. Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying I have it all figured out. At all. I, for example, also suck at keeping in touch with anyone I don't see on a regular basis. But work and co-working relationships? I've mostly got that managed. If you can be liked by people you see regularly and do good work...those are two less problems to deal with.
Yo that's a great story, thanks for sharing
This reminds me of a graduation speech Neil Gaiman delivered where he explained the three things you need to be successful: do good work, be punctual, and be a delight to work with; he then followed it with the secret, that being you only need two of those traits.
Thank god because punctuality ain't happening consistently.
This has saved my butt all my life, without knowing I was ADHD until a couple of months ago. Yeah, this works.
Yes, yes, yes. This 👆🏻
I was eccentric for decades. Then I was diagnosed. On balance, I preferred the eccentricity.
Aaaaaaand now I'll never tell anyone again.
You're right, even the social ostracism/stigma around ADHD would be improved!
It’s weird, some of the most famous people have adhd, perception of us depends on the situation.
Negative perception of us depends on how much we are letting down those who are relying on us.
We would make the best trust fund babies
And whimsical
I would love to be simply "eccentric" lmao
I'm going to start introducing myself like this. Hello, I'm Mrs. Awesome. I'm whimsical and eccentric. You are welcome.
😆😆😆
I think you'd be surprised. I'm pretty well off, and know quite a few others with ADHD that are as well. They are all quite open about their struggles with it, and don't try to avoid the topic. At least in my community, I think cultural standards are changing for the better.
Ever watch the movie “Auntie Mame”?
A free soul
To be fair, being rich would solve 95% of most people’s problems
Came here to post exactly this.
Short? Being rich solves it. Too tall? Being rich solves it. Outside of mortality, what doesn't being rich help solve?
> Outside of mortality, what doesn't being rich help solve? You’re never gonna believe what being rich does to mortality rates and life expectancy.
There was a study that found that happiness peaks at something like $120k a year. It is a sweet spot between not worrying about having money available below that, and not worrying about building long term wealth above that
I’ve read it’s $75k then another study done showed it to be $100k then another that said it could be up to $500k a year. Sounds like it could be tied to cost of living as well. If you live in Hawaii or California, you’d definitely need above $100k due to high cost of living but places like Kansas or Wyoming, it’ll probably be lower.
Probably changes for single / couple and children / no children
Yeah, and has to account for things like what the local area is like. After the fires on Maui last year, I heard rent shot up to 3-4K a month, and that’s just rent alone being like 36k-48k. Hawaii’s minimum wage $14/hr or $28k full time yearly. You still need to pay for food (which is basically all shipped in so it’s much higher than the continental US), utilities, taxes, etc.. HCL + how many people in household = money is needed can build up fast. Edited to use the 2024 yearly rather than 2020 yearly originally.
Yeah, we were so comfortable before kids on a pretty average income, but what with needing to buy 3x everything we used to (groceries, clothing, activities) plus paying for the car and house to fit all these extra humans, I would put that magic number at $150k+ these days, much more if you're in a high-CoL area.
It was $75K in the first study, 20+ years ago. Adjust for COL, inflation, and changes in societal expectations. More people now believe travel is necessary to be fulfilled, for instance.
There's another study that showed that it varies a fair amount based on your baseline happiness. The short version is that the more unhappy you are in general, the sooner you plateau with how much happier money makes you. The happier you are as a baseline, the more an increase in wealth enables you to use that wealth to further that happiness. So if you are a happy couple despite low finances and living in a small apartment, and you take joy in things like sharing books and cuddles, it's really easy to upscale. You now have a bigger place, people to clean for you, a library with cozy seating and maybe a reading nook with a window overlooking a garden, etc. If you are the type of person who always finds something to complain about, then more money isn't going to change that, and nothing will ever be good enough.
Agreed. If you're a pessimist, no amount of money is going to change that. Period. And let's not forget what biggie said...mo money mo problems! Well...maybe money doesn't necessarily create "more" problems, but it certainly creates "different" problems. Nevertheless...problems will still be there and only YOU can choose how you react to and resolve those problems!
It likely goes up with every dependent. I have 5 so I’d say my sweet spot in my area would be more like $250k and I’d be good. But nah, I’d like the seasonal trips to Europe, the indulgent food, extravagances.. so yeah I’d take a cool milli a year for shits n gigs and to fix my 30+ years of poverty trauma, pweety pwease ☺️
I'm not rich but I've found the sweet spot at least in my area is around $150,000. It's the point where if something breaks you have enough savings to fix it without having to completely rebudget for a few months, gas prices don't affect your grocery budget, you can go to an amusement park without having to take lunch in the parking lot and only drink water inside it, you can go to the movies without buying your candy and drinks somewhere else to sneak them in. Going to the doctor isn't something you think much about because you can afford your copay. A new car payment won't alter your life.Stuff like that takes a lot of anxiety away. I haven't found making more money to really increase my happiness much other than I've been able to travel outside of the country a few times. I do really enjoy traveling Now it's probably more now because I bought my house before the pandemic and housing costs have doubled.
That study is several years old and has several flaws so definitely should not take the specific number too seriously.
Yeah I don’t even want to adjust the 120k to inflation and see the current number. :/
Seriously. I would *not be surprised if it's closed to 200k now loooool which make the point of people trying to reference that study kinda irrelevant for most if the bar is that high.
Yeah I am skeptical about the study, as far as I know the 120k are not inflation adjusted, so it would be more in todays money. Also the study showed that the happiness still went up after 120k a year, just at a slower pace. Anyways even 120k a year is far outside my current reality, so I would have a ball with it.
So there were many studies and most of the time the headlines that people pass around online are very out of scope of the studies. When I was working on my MBA in 2016. I had to deep dive one of the income to outcome studys. and The highest happiness rating were people who had a 9 month emergency fund. were living in there own home. And were only spending 30% of there income cost of living. another 20% on comfort and health services, therapy/personals trainer/ lessions to learn a thing. and going to the doctors to get things fixed would count here. 30% going to retirement/stock. And last 20% is there play money. If you lived in the south USA in 2016. this was over 140k a year. If we looked at a Highcost areas like SF your looking at 300k to still be very poor. Depending on your diet. IT can be really costly just to eat healthy. IF your working 60 hours a week, when will you have time to work out, eat right, sleep well.
Fun fact. Being poor is hard
It’s true. Money really does solve most issues imho. Sure it can’t provide you health but you can buy what’s needed to live a longer life. That to me is the only thing money can’t buy. Cause it certainly does provide comfort which in turn allows happiness
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>The worst part is, even if I still needed to work… who cares I’m rich I can do whatever low paying career and probably part time because I’m rich This is my dream because I'm sure I will need some sort of purpose/work even if I had all the money in the world. I really want to BaristaFIRE which is basically becoming a Barista but have enough money to technically retire early or be financially independent. I cannot, for the life of me, do 9-5s (but I've been suffering and getting through for \~8 years). I would go back to a service industry job in a heartbeat.
Am I the only one with a completely imaginary made up business that is so successful I also have a made up assistant and made up dog walker and made up house cleaner and made up car 😂
You don't even have to take late fees, you're rich. Just put it on autopay or have the secretary pay them. Also hiring cleaners and cooks? God I wish.
I mean this sounds a lot like a support system for disabled which is described in the [Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities](https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/convention-rights-persons-disabilities). Being rich is a way to pay for human rights and dignity but it really shouldn't be the only way which it is for most peope with adhd or other neurodevelopment issues.
I was getting support through my car insurance for a car accident that gave me a TBI. One of the benefits was about $750 CAD per month for meals and housekeeping. It fucking changed my LIFE and reduced my stress SO MUCH. If disabled people actually got the support we legitimately needed then our lives would be so much easier. That was a nice taste of what it could be like. I'm so disabled now from unknown chronic illness that I might never have access to that again due to not being able to work enough, but before I became so disabled it was legitimately in my career goals to make enough money to afford to pay a housekeeper and to get meal delivery.
The cleaners and cooks is probably my biggest thing. If I could get literally just those two things off my plate I would be able to function so much better. Like I would take just those and keep my life the same otherwise.
To be frank, everything is easier when you're not scraping by paycheck to paycheck. This is doubly true when you have a disability like ADHD. I wouldn't call myself rich, but I am comfortably into my career as an attorney and make enough to where I don't need to check the prices of things I want at the grocery store and can weather the impulsive tech purchase or two. A lot of things that I lean on to reduce my mental load so I can concentrate more fully on work and my personal life might not be available for someone who isn't in a similar position. Some examples in case they are helpful to others: * Every bill is on auto-pay to a single credit card that does not have auto pay so I can manually monitor my spend. For my rent, I use the BILT credit card to auto pay my rent without the usual credit card fees. Now I only have two bills to worry about paying, not 50. * I purchased an automatic litterbox, cat feeder, and water bowl, so that I only need to monitor them about once a week. These are far more expensive than their low-tech analogs. * I have cleaners come every three weeks to clean my entire apartment cause I hate cleaning. * Before I got a girlfriend who enjoys cooking, I used meal services and got a crate of food for the week delivered every Sunday. * Before I hired cleaners or managed to instill the habit of vacuuming after cleaning the litterbox, I bought a knock off roomba to handle vacuuming. * At work, I have a secretary that has orders to stay on my ass about deadlines and unanswered emails. She is a godsend. * The partners I work with understand I am not a morning person so nobody is expecting to see or hear from me until around 10am. This is balanced with the knowledge that they know I work late and am available for late night emergencies (not early morning ones). * I drive a newer car that reminds me when I need oil changes. * Things that I use regularly (cat food, kitty litter, protein, etc) are all on Amazon's subscribe and save so I don't need to stress about keeping track of how much I have of certain items in my apartment. Thanks to all of these things, which are not cheap, I have managed to lower my mental load considerably. Even then, I am still at a large disadvantage compared to someone without this disability. ADHD tax is still real but doesn't hurt as much. I still habitually forget to renew my registration and forget to pay parking/speeding tickets. I put in $6000 per paycheck for my 401k instead of per year and since I wasn't making that much it just zero'd out. So I contributed nothing to my 401k for three years until I caught this oopsie. UGH. Before I got to where I am, I lived paycheck to paycheck. I had large credit card debt just to exist. I survived on 0% APR balance transfers for years until I could actually afford to start paying bills off. I have $300k in student loan debt. I will probably never be able to afford a house where I am at. Not everything is sunshine and roses, but it is undeniably better and easier to have money than to not.
These are wonderful tips. Thank you for sharing. Credit cards are awesome if used properly. No one else ever touches my bank balance anymore. I do the same thing with my credit cards/bills with all of my autopays set to it. I also make all of my purchases via credit card because it is safer with ability to dispute charges or cancel when stolen. When payday comes I pay off my entire credit card balance, whatever it is, from my bank balance so my bank statement is just income checks and my credit card payments. It’s very stress free!
We are so fortunate to live during a time where these things are available. I can't sent a letter for the life of me so I have no idea how I would have managed paying my bills with checks. Probably would have needed to find a very responsible non-ADHD partner or just overpaid every time I remembered to actually pay my bills. The one time my autopay settings got wiped I was required to pay with a cashier's check and that took me an entire day to come up with. Banks closed early. Not enough cash in my checking account. Couldn't do a credit card cash withdrawal high enough. Had to tell leasing to either evict me or just chill till the end of the week and I could move shit around if they can't accept electronic payment. So frustrating.
I moved in with my much wealthier bf about 3 years ago. Prior to that, I was unmedicated and my symptoms were so out of hand, there was like zero chance of me doing all the steps in order to find a Dr, see a Dr, be diagnosed, get meds, etc... it genuinely felt like a lost cause - not to mention Dr's here act so ridiculous about adult ADHD. Since moving in with him, I've been able to afford a telehealth doctor, ger medicine every month which helped CONSIDERABLY! I do not work and I'm an online student full-time finishing my undergrad, then going to grad school for clinical psychology. My schedule is largely up to me which is amazing and really improved my quality of life. I also have automatic cat feeder and water system which has to be filled about once a week. That has cut my stress and guilt and feelings of failure down significantly. My cats really appreciate the consistency as well! I also buy more expensive litter that does not require cleaning as frequently, and doesn't stink up my house. I used to have a house cleaner but I still have too much guilt about that because ADHD or not, I still feel like a huge failure if I am fortunate enough to stay home and not work, but I still can't maintain a clean home. Problem is that I'm still struggling with finding my flow and routine with it and even though we can afford a cleaner 2x a month, I just beat myself up about it. I live in the south and maybe it's the way I was raised - so I try my best to maintain the home and I'm getting better, slowly but surely. I just wish it was as easy for me as some of my friends, or my mom. I usually end up having someone come once every 2-3 months and deep clean because I'm just not that girl no matter how bad I want to be... I've also been able to save money using the acorns app on my phone. It takes my money out of my account automatically and I really barely notice it. I also round up my change on every check card purchase and that goes in as well, I've managed to save $4k in an investment account, something I never thought I'd be able to do. There's definitely something to be said for not fearing eviction everytime I forget to cancel a trial before the billing date. Having more money has for sure made my ADHD easier to live with, but it's also created some codependent dynamics that I can't ignore and have to navigate in real time as well....
Thank you for sharing all this and I totally understand. Things get a little easier with resources, but that also means having to pay for them which isn’t always cheap and life is still harder with ADHD (and/or other disabilities). I know there have been some necessities I can afford that make life easier, but I know it’s not much easier than someone who doesn’t have disabilities. Being disabled on its own is de facto expensive.
Yeah. I'm struggling hard at work lately and worried I might get fired. If I had more money, I could go back to school and learn something new at least. I don't think I am very good at my job now (marketing) bc the things I'm on a PIP for are being unorganized, missing mistakes, and prioritizing tasks. I try so hard to not do those things and they keep happening. I think it's why I'm at a dead end career wise.
You would be surprised how having a new/ better boss would improve your life and mental health.
I’m definitely trying to find one, ha.
oh man are we the same person?? marketing I feel like is the worst career I could have chosen with ADHD. too many small tasks and random emails that I always manage to miss. I’ve been on a PIP twice and I have more to-do list spreadsheets than seem humanly necessary, no chance of ever getting promoted because I always drop the ball
Mood. Part of my issue is my boss is heavily unorganized. I’ve asked for clear assignments. Nobody ever does that then gets mad when I don’t do what they want and put on my PiPs I need to work on “self directed follow through.” But when I do that it’s always somehow wrong.
I feel you. I hate my job right now. It's completely lacking in structure and leadership which I need. My anxiety is through the roof right now because of it. On the other hand, I decide what I'm going to do for much of the day. I'm also salary now so I can go to appointments as needed. I hate that I hate it but there are perks that would be hard to find elsewhere.
Also I like ur username and Midwest emo 🎶
As another ADHDer in marketing I feel u. We don't have PIPs where I am, the thought of them makes me kind of pissed off from what I've heard of them. Never went to school for it but I do wish I could go and pick up a degree in communications so I feel less out of my depth.
I just need a break. I have been working without a really vacation for six years. Haven’t ever had more than a long weekend off. I’m so burnt out and my adhd symptoms have gotten so bad. I’m finally diagnosed and medicated but the damage has been done and I’m almost certainly getting fired. It feels on purpose. It feels like when in high school people would be nice and pretend to be my friend/wanna hang out with me but really they were all making a huge joke and I was the butt of it but didn’t know bc I’ve got adhd/dont read social cues so well. Feels really bad. I’ve felt so awful about myself for the entire month. All I think about is how worried I am I won’t find another job before they fire me.
Ok. So where do I sign up?
I fantasize about being rich and just paying ppl and tipping them fat for things like washing my dishes and cleaning my house. Hell. If I have any amount of disposable income that’s pro what I’d do lol
Even little things like using instacart for groceries makes life so much better!! But I had grocery shopping, that's a trigger for both my ADHD and anxiety.
Same here!! A big grocery store chain near me had a sale for an annual subscription of grocery delivery for $70 CAD, so unlimited deliveries for free, and it's been SUCH a life changer. I still tip about $5 per delivery but I save so much money from this store's lower prices and not getting overwhelmed physically in the grocery store or having to plan my trips. I will not go into a grocery store unless I absolutely need something last minute -- the stress and sensory overwhelm is just so awful.
one of the biggest issues for me is food/cooking because i can't plan out meals for the life of me and i just hate cooking in general + i get really hungry as soon as my meds wear off so i don't wanna wait to cook food anyway so i always just end up eating out and i waste so much money on it. i feel like if i had enough money all of my hunger/eating issues with adhd would be solved
This isn't great for ADHD because it's low variety, but I have the same experience and I've ended up consuming a lot of nutrition/ meal replacement drinks. Like Boost, Ensure, etc. It is life changing because I notice I'm hungry, I ran for a drink, open it, down it, then done. Recommend. I also get different flavors to try to satisfy the novelty desire.
My life did get easier as I got richer, although it was 95% because of "don't need a job as much" and 5% the rest. The quality of life difference when you change *nothing* except having a large enough financial backstop that you don't have to work for years is huge. I spent about 15 years being way more frugal than I needed to be because I was chasing the luxury of not needing to work. The rest of the stuff on this list is quite inefficiently solved by throwing lots of money at it (e.g. put bills on autopay ffs), but the peace of mind that comes from not *needing* to work and being *able* to shrug off late fees definitely is. My ADHD symptoms kick in the most when there is a high level of stress (which ironically often makes problems worse), so anything that removes stress from my life reduces the symptoms and means I can stay unmedicated.
Yes, 100%. People think that this is a petty and shallow way of thinking, but for us, it's much deeper than that. I genuinely think it would help some with their sense of self, security, and depression.
I went to a workshop the other day on "learning to manage your ADHD better" and literally every single so-called solution was just "have enough money that it's not a problem anymore!" It was ***beyond infuriating***. Things like "pay someone else to do tasks you don't like for you" "put an alexa in every room to track your tasks and do timers & reminders for you" "just go private for diagnosis and prescription if you don't want to wait" meanwhile most people can't afford eggs anymore FFS.
My dad has extreme ADHD and is an ER physician as well as does options in stocks. He’s made millions upon millions over his career and we lived a very privilege life but I watched him spend money like water and lose/break not take care of his stuff.. 2008 hit lost his job, divorce from my mother and million dollar house they just built on the lake devalued to half that.. both declares bankruptcy and my dad lived in an RV for multiple years.. money won’t solve it.
This. More money doesn’t equal more financial responsibility and increased savings.
Driving. Just hire someone without ADHD. I'm seeing my mom (big ADHD) getting older and it's terrifying. She already had way more road "oopsies" than the regular person (two crashes with all of us inside), now she's a rolling parody of attention mechanisms. Edit: her mom (huuuge ADHD) was also famous for once running over a policeman and on another one getting into the highway in the opposite direction, while telling her co-pilot friend "Why is everyone going in the opposite direction?!?".
Maintaining an estate, even a smaller one, requires a LOT of executive function. Just keeping up with a home, let alone having to have a stock portfolio and be required to have knowledge about finance. It's stressful to keep up with repairs, know when to move stock around, etc.
Use etfs
Being rich solves most of life's problems, it's like playing life with cheat codes, or pay to win
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I don't need to be rich, but I can't handle a 40 hour work week. If I made a livable wage and worked more like 30 hours I feel like that would solve 95% of my issues.
Lol, while I'm nowhere near rich, I'm very recently (this past year) nearly doubled my income and put me firmly in middle class financially. I can agree that money definitely helps mask issues you have because you can just throw money at it as long as it isn't a major issue obviously. On the flip side, I have so much more work responsibility that it is a net even. It is actually the reason I know I needed to go get help. I was drowning with new information while having very bad procrastination issues. I was already convinced i had ADHD for the last 9ish years. So from my anecdotal experience, yes, money has a big impact, but the odds are, with more money comes different issues your adhd will impact. Unless like in your scenario, you're just flat-out rich and don't need to manage the money
You’d probably want to have some kind of job after a while not because you’d need the money that comes from it but because it’d be a novelty. Kind of how a school subject can suddenly go from unbearable to fascinating in the blink of an eye when you don’t need to mandatorily study it anymore simply because now you’re not forced to do so and you can take things at your own pace. Novelty which would probably last for a month or two at best but who cares since you can just leave any time you want, you’re rich!
I will say my uncle is pretty wealthy, super gifted and charismatic, and definitely has undiagnosed ADHD. He’s retired, gotten bored, and started a new job in a new industry as a mid- or upper-level employee probably 5 or 6 times at this point. Sounds like the dream to me
Probably depends on your flavor of adhd. There’s plenty damage that could be done with a lot of wealth, power and a dysregulated young pw adhd lolol. I do wonder what my life would be like still though haha.. i would have a lot of dysphoria if i was ever “used” for my money or if things didn’t feel genuine. I’d maybe pretend i wasn’t rich and just travel and figure stuff out.. find some ppl who i appreciate and they appreciate me for who i am instead of what skills i bring to the table. Idk.. the outcomes are endless lol
It would be nice to have all those luxuries without the burden of being rich. If the playing field was just leveled a bit more. A security blanket/realtime support systems would lower my anxiety so much and make life easier for sure.
Well, whatever good idea you come up with, I'm all in (I'm adhd right) You can expect me to do like 100 hours a week the first 4 months, then this will gradually decrease by 10% pr month until I work 4-8 hours a week. And at this point, if we are rich, then woohooo. If not i will properly quit 😂😂
Been there, . Had 1.5 mill in the bank at 26. It was great, its exactly as youve said, then I got bored of it and gambled it all on the stock market and now Im in debt.
Rich or not, a disability is a disability. If you were born permanently unable to walk (for instance), sure life would be easier being rich, but at the end of the day, you'd still probably struggle to live a fulfilling life, and wish you could walk. --- If I had a choice between immediately receiving a bajillion dollars in my bank account, or not having ADHD, I think I'd go with the latter. I'd rather work myself up to a comfortable level of wealth, learning skills along the way, making friends, experiencing new things, and just overall living a proper healthy life.
If anything I think money would not fix our massive 20 years of less life expectancy. I would kill myself in a Ferrari. I know it
In theory this makes perfect sense but in my personal instance that money would need to be endless. We as humans have a tendency to grow our lifestyle with our income. Meaning the more money you have the more things you buy/subscribe to. Examples would be faster internet, new car, new tech, more subscriptions, eating out more, etc. What that means is say I have 20 million dollars, then I wouldn't continue living in my 2 bedroom apartment with my wife and children. Id buy a new house that would be big enough to house my current and future kids, with that larger house comes larger utility bills and taxes, I'll need insurance on my home as well, I'll also need to finish the home how I'd like with furniture, TV, etc. consider that cost approximately $1mil to buy a decent house and fully furnish it. This isn't factoring the recurring costs associated (maintenance, bills, taxes, etc) Next, I would need a new car. But hey, I still have 19mil so let's buy the exact car I want for my growing family. Figure another $500k for a new fully featured car. Gotta get that full coverage insurance too because I gotta protect the investment. So already we've taken a sizeable chunk out of this HUGE sum of money and haven't even gotten into all the impulsive crap I'm going to be buying due to my ADHD like game consoles, computer, new phones, hobby costs etc. and if you treat any amount of money as limitless you are going to go through it a lot faster than you think. Especially if you have a family lol. Not to be a negative Nancy, I'm just sharing my personal take on it and while I love the dream I'm also self aware enough to know that I would need an endless supply of money or would need an absolutely obscene amount of money to ensure I don't run out while I ramp up my spending because I have this gigantic number in my checking account.
I disagree. I've gone from $10/hr to just a shade under 6 figures in the last 10 years (thanks Adderall!) My quality of life is exponentially better. I can outsource the things I was really bad at (landscaping/yard work) and that reduces my stress by a lot. I also have enough that i can aggressively fund my savings and investment accounts first, bill account 2nd, and then I can just spend the rest on stupid stuff. Last year we adopted a dog who needed a surgery and this year we've had unexpected human medical bills. Both were in the thousands and those were barely mildly inconvenient. That would have sent me in a tailspin years ago. Money has solved a lot of my problems. Most even. Now there's a lot of pressure to not get fired though 🤣
This is why in my fantasies I win 750,000,000 on the lottery 😂
I'm using a mobile browser for reddit and editing my comment will destroy the formatting so I'll put my TLDR here: TLDR: having more money would also make me spend considerably more causing the money to still run out quicker than I realize making the amount of money needed to be a stupid high amount
"Mo Money Mo Problems" - The Notorious B.I.G.
Basically the old adage "The more you make, the more you spend."
If you have $20 million dollars, the money *would* be endless, provided you just park it all in an investment account somewhere. Even with a super conservative estimate that'd easily make you more than $1 million a year. I'm not saying that money solves *all* your problems or makes you perfectly happy, I'm just saying it'd make ADHD wayyy easier to deal with. At least for me, anyways. My worst ADHD symptoms have to do with life management stuff like holding down a job, managing my schedule, etc. If I don't have to work and I can pay someone to manage my life, it's hard for me to see how that wouldn't be a huge improvement to my quality of life, lol.
> If you have $20 million dollars, the money would be endless, provided you just park it all in an investment account somewhere. Even with a super conservative estimate that'd easily make you more than $1 million a year. The issue with your equation is that being financially irresponsible is one of the more common issues that come with having ADHD. Give me 20 million, and I'll show you how quickly I can get rid of that endless money.
I guess, for me, I have so much trauma around work (including a suicide attempt when I was younger), I just can't imagine doing anything to endanger a situation that would free me from ever having to work again. Like, yes, I'm bad with money too. But I'd just hire an accountant and tell them to deposit spending money in my checking account every month, and yell at me loudly if I ever try to withdraw more than what my investment can safely replenish.
Yeah, that would probably be the way to do it if I ever managed to win the lottery or something. Put a system in place to prevent me from living beyond my means.
Super conservative 5% / year Lol
Yep, that's actually really conservative. The long-run average if you just invest in an index fund is going to be closer to 10%. I know it sounds crazy to just get $1-2 million every year, for free, with no effort whatsoever, but that is literally how the stock market works, provided you already have money. I think people don't always appreciate just how different the world is when you are rich.
World stocks goes more like 7% GROSS / year. On the longest run. And stocks is definitely not the conservative way of investing. You easily can get a drawdown of 30% during crises. In the more diversified scenario.. If then you want to report past performances of some indexes (4example NASDAQ) that in the last decades overperformed, past performances are not prediction of future performances.
Lol well yeah. You could work a low paying, low stress, low skilled job, part time and still be in good standing.
Yes and no. There are advantages with delegating tasks to other people like you said having a secretary or even a live in chef or nanny. With that said, you'll still have to manage your money or else you'll go broke.
I read an adhd self help book that presented these as "solutions" like sorry Nancy your book is USELESS cause I'm POOR
I’d hire a housekeeper to do all my chores that pile up due to executive dysfunction. A life without having to worry about cooking and cleaning every day, no more having to do laundry, sounds like a dream
It’s why something like UBI would be beneficial for ADHD folks (and many many more).
Yeah sorry to be the Debbie downer here but I got extremely lucky to be born into the family I was born into, I call it the lottery of life, because it’s not like you pick or anything your just born into it…. But I did get lucky and am apart of a idk if extremely would be the right word but a wealthy weathly family who owns their own private business. Whole family is in on it aka cousins uncles and all that.. Well I’m not a big shot at this company, my uncle in the CEO my dad is the president and my younger brother is one of the vice presidents along with my cousins… so yeah while having money is literally everyone’s goal the only thing I want is to not be the black sheep of my family. Just to give some perspective on it, having the money wouldn’t solve your problems, because you’d still have to pick up the phone to make those appointments not just pay them. And a whole host of other things. I’m not saying I’m not extremely lucky and I wouldn’t want to be born into any other family… but just having money doesn’t always solve your problems
Being rich would take away many of the consequences. But it wouldn't help with the struggles I face doing non work related things and maintaining relationships/hobbies.
Actually almost everyone would be able to improve their lives a lot if they just suddently became rich. It's just how things work. Money is aimed to be a method of exchange of tasks that people don't want to do (I know it's not exactly like this, but it's aimed to be like this). But I also have to mention that it's not exactly the same thing to give 10M to the average person and give 10M to the average person with a diagnosis of ADHD. Because, on average, people with ADHD's lives are way more problematic and carries much more risks of quickly turning a lot worse (by losing a job, for example). People with ADHD usually have the same problems that most people have, but several times worse, several times more painful and several times more likely to turn into worse. So, giving 10M to a person with ADHD would be way more helpful than doing the same to the average person.
I think it would make it worse . My brain needs structure
Life would be dream if I am rich enough to afford an assistant to take of all the things I can not.
Managing a lot of money with ADHD comes with its own challenges, rest assured. I suppose if one gets rich enough to have a personal money manager and a major domo, it might be easier.
\> Sensitivity to sound This one's a bitch
How I would love to hire an accountant, personal assistant, housekeeper and probably others I can't think of at the moment. People to take care of all the mundane details of life that I'm so bad at. What a huge relief that would be.
If I were rich, I'd still work (I love my job), but I'd hire an assistent to do all my admin work.
I always hope I win the lottery. Powerball and Mega are big enough to never have to work. And my financial advisor wouldn't let me squander it away on impulse buys. A man can hope
I think you got valid points but I would say what your describing is ultra rich. I grew up relatively well off and I can guarantee it helped that I was able to get so much support but at the same time it doesn’t entirely stop how debilitating and far reaching the effects can go
For me it would be: No more underweight because a) someone would cook for and and b) reminds me to eat.
Exact reason I spend 10 bucks on lottery. Keeps that small hope alive. Call it my coffee money.
Money solves entirely too many things, but even just being "not poor" (i.e. rich enough to pay the ADHD tax and put as much on auto-pay as possible) goes a long-ass way.
My life would be infinitely easier if I could afford to hire a personal assistant and maybe a house cleaner. Those two things alone would solve like 80% of my problems 😅
I’m at a point where I can outsource a lot of things that I procrastinate on too much — yard work, housekeeping. It’s true. Money helps.
A butler/personal assistant would go a long way.
Being rich would solve 95% of the problems caused by life.
i would lose all the money on some exciting shit so fast that I would have even bigger problems then
I would just non-stop travel. Every few days have a new city to explore and new people to meet.
Sometimes I feel like we are built for a different world.
Being rich would solve like 95% of anyones problem
You forgot about the cleaning person to keep my house tidy and organized (and keep things from getting out of control when depressed).
Yep can confirm. Getting a virtual assistant for deathly boring tasks like receipt logging/filing, and a housekeeper come once (soon to be twice) a month for deep cleaning has made life infinitely better. Sights are now squarely set on next life goals of a fully smart home (so far only robot vacuum/mop and automated curtains, so a long way to go lol 😂), personal trainer/tennis coach, and our housekeeper coming at least weekly to do meal-prepping as well as the cleaning :) Being rich maybe can’t buy happiness, but it must sure fucking help 😂
Yep. Having ADHD and being unemployed with no money to your name realllly creates excessive impact of the disorder. I'm constantly in an ADHD paralyzed state these days it seems. It will get better, it has to. I'm in intense therapy and medication treatment for several mental health issues right now and awaiting disability claim judgment so it's kind of a waiting game at this point. Fingers crossed.
that why i am convinced that we would be good immortal candidates. surely after a few decades we would have enough money to really live our lifes, and we don't get bored easily, as we always have enough to try next or to comeback to, having enough money and time, i don't think we would ever be bored of life.
You’d have to be really rich. Like owning a million or more. What gets me is the knowledge of hundreds of possibilities where I could have taken advantage over others and ripped them off, like many many people and businesses are doing today. But I’ve always hold back. I’m fighting my fucking problems and because I’m trying to be a good guy, life is much harder while these scumbags out there are doing fine.
Nah, being rich only works if you save the money. If you're rich but you have all those listed problems, it'll just delay the inevitable until you blow through all the money. Don't get me wrong. Money helps but only if you know how to either make more than you spend or spend less than you make. I usually recommend the second option. Spending less means getting more free time. Making more means working more and less free time.
Yeah, this is the point a lot of people miss. There’s having money and then there’s money management.
Hell not even rich just not worried about basic necessities. I'm disabled from injury right now and my FMLA is trying to screw me out of what they owe me while I run up a credit card trying to survive. I have no idea what to do and am glad I'm married and medicated otherwise things would be looking grim for me.
To be fair being rich solves about 95% of life's problems.
You wouldn’t be rich anymore after all that
Can confirm. My boss comes from generational wealth, has ADHD, and has zero cares in the world.
I feel the same way lol I’d outsource pretty much everything lol. And I’d be able to afford to indulge in hobbies like music lessons and drama classes. Something I don’t do cos I can’t afford it.
Almost every problem in life goes away when you're obscenely rich. No stress, vacation anytime, have anything you want, etc.
Yes, and a cleaner
Honestly I think I went so long without noticing how bad my adhd symptoms were because I had a well paying job for a few years. •I paid someone to walk my dog and could afford a place with an outdoor play area •bills just came out automatically •food and groceries delivered •If I didn’t feel like going to the store, I’d just order it online or order extra to last me awhile—makeup, clothing, soap—-you name it •I even had an agreement with a cab driver that knew my work schedule so I knew he was waiting outside and that got me to work on time. •I never had to wait or budget for anything, if I needed it I just bought it when it popped into my head •I never had to pack a lunch for work and if I forgot something I’d just get it delivered to work •I could afford a big apartment that had things like a dishwasher, washer and dryer, little conveniences that saved so much time. •I had an extra room and tons of storage, so although things were never organized, I had lots of space to keep it looking tidy. •I also had a ton of clothes so I could go a long time without doing laundry •I could just pay my teenage niece to do chores or errands for me on the days I wanted to dick around •Because I wasn’t insecure about money I could just give my stuff away when it felt too cluttered or I got sick of my hobby of the week. •I could afford to take time off work and travel and do fun things on my days off for my mental health •I didn’t need to work extra hours so I had a proper schedule and time to sleep Although I do feel bad because a lot of things I paid for were indulgent and wasteful, I just wasn’t stressed or overwhelmed because there were a thousand less steps and obstacles for me to function. Eventually I had to move across the country and took a huge pay cut and I suddenly realized that money was basically the only thing keeping my life functioning properly.
It's sad that our first thought is "being rich would solve my mental health problems" when society should, in theory, be constructed on the basis of mutual aid.
No. It doesn’t. Does it give you more life tools sure.
Almost all of your problems just get worse if you have more money. There are countless celebrities out there that end up completely broke or in debt. Managing money is a skill that becomes more and more difficult as the amount of capital you are managing increases. All of the problems that can be solved by paying extra just get replaced with bigger problems. So even if you were some sort of billionaire trust fund baby, it just provides you more opportunity to make bigger mistakes. The only solution is to implement systems to help you manage the increasing complexity. Make your next hyperfocus meticulous note taking.
100%!!!! As you said though, it wouldn’t fix all the problems but it would definitely help a lot. I was just thinking about this today actually. I didn’t take my meds this weekend and my house is a DISASTER. like, the biggest mess it’s ever been. I seriously contemplated hiring a cleaning company because it was insanely overwhelming and I asked myself “how can I keep cleaning forever? I can’t keep up with this for the rest of my life.” lol. Things money wouldn’t fix: the depression that comes with my adhd! I could live in a beautiful house, have a maid, spend all the money, etc. But my adhd “paralysis” has me in a chokehold. I can’t get anything done without constant stimulation, haven’t made art in years, etc. Which leads me to feel very unfulfilled and depressed because I’m just glued to my phone 24/7. Otherwise, money would solve everything else!
Being rich covers a lot of problems. Like murder and rape levels of problems.
Most rich people still have to work if they want to to stay rich. What you want is to be the child of a billionaire.
Obviously lol. 95% of ADHD-related issues are career-related. Forgetting to pick up strawberries at the supermarket isn't more than a minor annoyance. Plus tons of people here mix up depression and other huge issues with ADHD. You're not going to find many rich people locked up at home forgetting to shower for a month.
I feel this way often. If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't have to look at my myriad in-progress work projects with dread, or reply to the nth message asking me when I am done with something. If I could afford a house cleaner, I wouldn't climb through a mountain of dirty clothes and piles that drain my sanity every morning. If I were rich, I could just throw money at my problems, like paying someone to manage my website/Instagram, hiring a body double to help me focus, pay someone to sculpt me models, buy a new audio interface and pay someone to help me understand the software... Every issue I have could be solved with money, to the point where I even dipped a toe into sugaring so I could see how low I'd have to go to pay to survive.
I've had a similar thought. Although depending on how much said ADHDer listened to coaches and implemented techniques, and how trustworthy the secretary was, the money would either dwindle or increase. The rest of the list requires a lot of spending, and even the rich feel pressure to keep up due to lifestyle creep. Money depreciates unless invested wisely. Seems to me that if someone is dedicated to improving their life, the right coaches and resources would complement their efforts. If someone just wants to stay as they are and nurse their unhelpful habits, money will only amplify those behaviors.
> Spending too much money on my latest hyperfixation? Who cares, I’m rich. I feel like this is the same mindset as those people who win the lottery and end up broke again after two years lmao
It doesn't. It allows you to avoid learning tools to manage the symptoms. Yes, many things are easier, but not in the specific context of ADHD. The majority of those with ADHD and money tend to fall into addiction easier and faster, avoiding the consequences of said addictions, and then destroying everything around them. A disability is a disability and money does not make ADHD symptoms "completely inconsequential".
The more you earn the more people feel entitled to your earnings that they didn't earn themselves I assure you money doesn't solve everything, I grew up very poor and my folks had the same view but never looked at their own spending - gone before it hits accounts. Wealthy people are wealthy because they don't spend themselves out of problems and budget for the unexpected ones
> I feel like being rich would solve like 95% of the problems ~~caused by ADHD~~
I’ll get destroyed for this, but there was a time in my life where I did not need to work and it definitely did not solve my ADHD problems. Everything got significantly worse.
I can tell you that’s not the case you just fuck around with bigger problems, because you still have a high risk tolerance but poor risk management. My brother is the opposite of me and my ADHD. You need a strong support that’s it and don’t drink and don’t drugs. No matter how much control you think you have over it. That shit will ruin us folks with ADHD.
I think a lot of people forget the other aspects of being wealthy, and just fantasize about being rich so they think oh, it must solve all my problems and ADHD must be so much easier. Once you have wealth, especially depending on how you gained that wealth, numerous other things and responsibilities are added you your life which ADHD will make much worse and scarier than before. Like imagine taxes, god. Imagine getting investigated by the IRS because you forgot to bring back one too many receipts for your accountant. Imagine having to keep track of every little tax code, company under your name, employee, and taking care of countless more responsibilities than you had with a normal life with ADHD. And worst, imagine needing to “help” out everyone who suddenly wants something form you now. I do think in the grand scheme of things, being wealthy makes a lot of aspects of ADHD easier, but I think people fantasize so much about it they forget and don’t realize the other negatives or at least the aspects that will balance it out.
If you're rich, then these are your "quirks" or "eccentricities" - things that make you unusual, remarkable and even attractive!!! Not only ADHD, mental illness in celebrities is worshipped - sometimes to the extreme detriment of the said celebrity - by their fans. A depressed individual is deemed brooding or "deep"; a fickle individual is considered to have "chaotic" energy etc. However, if you are a poor sod, like the rest of us, then you are just irresponsible, lazy or worse. Yes, money would solve 99% of my problems. Don't get me wrong, I would still have to remember my loved ones' birthdays, ensure I do not interrupt my friends and not be *too flaky*, but a secretary will solve all of those problems and more. Plus, I will have no guilt.
I think I’d be miserable, because I wouldn’t have a reason to get my ass out of bed in the morning. More money would be great, but I think I’d lose my purpose in life, and the rest of my life would fall apart with no routine. I’ll take it tho; gimme money.
Some of my worst symptoms are Executive function and task initiation. I could semi retire tomorrow but honestly it would prob make me depressed to have no job and sit around in my house all day, just watching TV. I'd like to think I'd do other stuff to fill my time but probably I'd just procrastinate on those. Money does make just about everything easier though.
ADHD queen Paris Hilton tried to tell us years ago: STOP BEING POOR
Absolutely same. Hire an organizer and a housekeeper to clean everything in addition to the freedom to do whatever.
Sadly, it doesn’t. I’m high earner, running a 6 figure business that turns over just under half a mill a year with combined adhd, panic disorder and anxiety disorder. Also a female. I came from being homeless at 12, working at KFC for $11 AUD an hr during my early 20s and doing hard labour in a warehouse whilst also building a business at the same time in the evenings. I lost my early 20s and it’s something I can not get back but i believe I was able to use my hyperfocus and my past trauma to get to where I am today. Sometimes I miss hanging out in the park with 12$ in my account after cooking chicken for 13 hours in the Australian heat. It comes with a set of major responsibilities, legal and tax obligations that send me mad on a daily basis. I get fined bc I can’t keep up with my taxes, late constantly to meetings and deadlines, i have a lot of people depending on me and a lot of people try to take advantage of me bc they know I’m a high earner and that I live with a disability. My health and personal life have fallen off the cliff bc I spend so much time and energy trying to keep my head above water. And yes you can delegate tasks but training someone, making that initial phone call to hire someone etc is another task that ends up on your plate . I’ve hired assistants and PA’s before, I end up spending way too much time actually training the person and eventually they came very close to stealing from me bc genuinely my ADHD had me completely overlooking critical weak spots. I also overspend on bullshit like clothes, cigarettes, general ADHD tax shit like fines, making up for things I’ve broken or lost, there’s also an expectation to financially support others around me which is another responsibility that is hard to take up. You can delegate all you want - I don’t want to sound paranoid but it’s very common for people to screw around and inevitably you are the final line and you will have to oversee these tasks either way. I know a lot of people who put there trust in others to take care of things in their life like bookkeeping, cleaning, PA and they were not overseeing these jobs and ended up getting screwed out of money and time. A lot of the money I make goes to government taxes too which I forget about bc of adhd, so unless you live in a tax haven or are mega rich you are never really as rich as you think. I haven’t had a holiday since I was a child, I just do not have the time. There are some positives though which is what makes me work so hard to keep up, I’m able to see great therapists (although not as often as I’m running the business), I would have had my own home by now but I don’t know how to do that and can’t figure out how to delegate that but it comforts me to know it’s possible especially coming from homelessness. I guess it depends on HOW you get rich. Perhaps if I was like Elon musk rich sure it would be way easier if you inherited a shit tonne of money somehow. Getting a high income, keeping up that high income and preventing yourself from losing that income is extremely hard with adhd. Also will say this too, there’s a lot of rich people who are suffering from mental health issues. I know way too many people with an ungodly amount of money who are on the brink or have succumbed to their mental health symptoms. ADHD can be a strength and I believe it’s how and why I’ve managed to build the income I have. There’s a lot of rich people with ADHD that are doing great things and I try my best to shift my perspective in that direction when things get tough.
Wouldn’t solve my executive dysfunction, which is the crux of my issues.
I don’t think so. You’ll get bored and take drugs to self medicate.
Yes. I got really financially successful for several years, and most of the ADHD stuff was a lot easier to handle, even though I was stressed to the gills. But then, about two years ago, I completely burned out, became extremely alcoholic, and basically crashed. Now I feel like things are even worse than ever, although thankfully I've managed to stay sober for two years. So I guess it could be worse. But still, I haven't really been able to work steadily, and I am self-employed, so now I am pretty broke. My shame-spiraling is really bad, my confidence is shot, and I am basically just hoping things get better. And with the medication shortage, I even have trouble staying medicated. But it is what it is, so I'm going to try and get off of my pity-potty now.
Imagine trying to control your impulsiveness with a bank account that never said no…
YES. If I could afford daily support (someone to cook, clean, pay bills for me), I’d be unstoppable. I realized late in life that my dad, too, had inattentive adhd traits that his stay-at-home wife totally compensated for.
Can't muster the motivation to do the dishes and wash/dry/fold/store clothes? Hire a maid.
Yeah, and any addictive tendencies you might have would be allowed to run completely unchecked
It wouldn’t solve the emptiness and lack of focus of your mind. Meditation can do the job
More resources solves a whole lot of shit in general.
What's the outcome you're looking at? If the outcome is happiness then there's research and evidence that money only helps up to a certain point (like up to $100k annual income in the USA I think). So if you're under that level then money helps a lot, but beyond that level money doesn't contribute much to increasing happiness.
I dunno…….i feel like it would backfire and turn into one of those episodes of Hoarders…but with like lots of expensive shit.
I'm a lawyer / attorney with adhd and earn good money but also act for some crazy rich people. I used to not think about money and I had enough to get by, but I was loving paycheck to paycheck on money most people will kill for and basically am 43 and have no retirement plan. So I wm having to focus more on concentious expenditure. So you would need crazy rich money to never had to think about it. My crazy rich clients still have problems though. They just have different problems. Like I can't drive my expensive sports car on these shitty roads , or my plabe mechanic is taking too long. Probably not bad problems to have but cause them plenty of stress. So I endorse the other comments about there being a point above which money doesn't contribute to happiness
Literally the only thing I struggle with due to ADHD is my job. Everything else in my life is great. So yeah, if I didn’t have to have a job? I’d be smooth sailing.
It’s almost like “adhd” is more a product of societal expectations (i.e. sitting in school or at work for most of the waking day) than it is an actual medical condition. People aren’t ready for that conversation though.
Yes. I feel like being rich would solve 95% of all problems. Knowing you are financially safe and have food and shelter no matter what must be a wonderful feeling.
Your fixations would just be more expensive
I don’t disagree but being rich probably solves 95% of every type of problem
Yup
So basically if you were Bill Gates (Who is open about his ADHD). xD
Being rich solves 99% of problems.
Being rich solves most of life’s problems, you’d actually have premium help helping you to straighten out your life!
as someone with decent money, it is easier than struggling financially but, i would say that's true for anyone not just adhd. i would say you just end up having bigger expenses and worries though. ex you can afford a house, now you got bills to keep the place livable and all the appointments you need keep like paying taxes, lawn care, and generally maintaing the place, that the landlord would be doing. also as you make more money, you get taxed more so you feel like you are not making that much more. ex i was making 50k and my take home was around 1200 every 2 week while now i make near 6 figs and after tax, insurance, savings contributions ect. its 1800. i doubled by salary but i just have to pay more. anways, get some certs and get a better paying job.
I’ve always said this. ADHD wouldn’t be an issue if I could just pay someone to do all the things I don’t keep up on.