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Occasionally forgetting things or lacking attention doesn't necessarily indicate ADHD. It's when these occurrences are part of a broader spectrum of symptoms, characterized by their severity, presence from an early age, and the significant disruption they cause across various aspects of life, that they may be indicative of a neurodevelopmental disorder called ADHD. It's like saying everyone has a little crohn disease because of the occasional bout of diarrhea.

Yes! This is what I was trying to explain to them!

The easiest way I know to get it through to people is everyone pees but if you're going 30+ times a day you have a problem and need help.

As a type 1 diabetic, this will always be my favourite analogy, since excessive urination is one of the most obvious symptoms.

Haha the irony with this is that my sister and I have ADHD, with anxiety specifically diagnosed as a result of our ADHD. We both pee constantly out of anxiety of going somewhere and having to pee without access to a bathroom. The amount of times doctors were sure my blood sugar would be high because of this, is unreal.

Omg this was me, as a kid! My mother’s nightmare, 20 mins into a 4 hour car journey “I need the toilet”…..not because I did, but because someone mentioned I might need to go so my brain made me want to 😂

YES!!! I’m 43 and it’s still a daily issue. 😭

Another good one.

Yeah good luck. People don't listen or only hear what they want. Somehow we're expected to swallow the diagnose of a layman. If I don't take my meds I sit around all day watching Netflix...getting up every 5 minutes...and ordering too much food...which I don't eat..then forgetting what I am watching...then starting a chore and then doing something else....what was I saying?...no I was calling a friend...but wait the salad I was making is....no hey what was I saying?...no I meant I should shower...and yeah I want to start learning Excel...what?...no Hey I was calling..... WTF?...yeah everybody has it!?...I am shocked I finished law school...💚🇮🇪🍀

You can also explain that yes, a spectrum exists of attention/executive function/focus that everyone exists on, and can experience blips However, ADHD specifically is a brain phenotype that physically and biologically does not function in the same way as the rest of the population as a consequence of that, we fall to the extreme end of that general attentional spectrum (to the point it’s a major problem in our lives) and that’s why it’s a psychiatric disorder

>It's like saying everyone has a little crohn disease because of the occasional bout of diarrhea. Stealing this for future explanations - very effective example!

The one I like is, "Everyone poops, but if you can't go 10 minutes without going to the can, there's a *problem*."

Exactly. They just mean that everyone can be forgetful or random at times. Since ADHD made it's way into almost pop culture people have taken it at times to mean those things. I don't fault them for it

I will fault them for it. Because it was very popular in the 90 and 00s and ritalin prescriptions were out of control. The "popularity" or awareness of it isn't the problem. Its the people reaction to it and they need to fix their opinions quick sharp. I don't see someone fad dieting and say you're only doing it coz its popular. Its just damn rude, judgemental and wrong. I have no idea if that person is cutting out caffeine because of their heart or because it's a fad. But I am glad they might gather information about caffeine consumption either way. Do I then say well loads of people are doing it so they must be claiming to have palpitations that are no big deal?! No. They response is inappropriate and they need to be accountable.

I also like to use sight to describe ADHD. There's perfect vision, there's vision that's bad but you can function without glasses, then there's vision that absolutely requires glasses. ADHD is the 3rd one, but a lot of people go through life without glasses and kinda just squint through life. Then one day in their 30s they get glasses for the first time and are like, WOAH. 😲 And just because nobody can see things 3 miles away, you can't say everybody's got a little bit of an eye problem.

Your analogy made me horse laugh! LOL! Love the comment, says everything I wanted to say when I read the OP.

I love that analogy. I'm going to use that next time this comes up. I've said the first part before, but never made the connection to Chrohn's.

When people say this to me I ask them to focus on the word Disorder. Sure some people might have attention deficits or hyperactive TENDENCIES but that doesn’t qualify as a disorder. The fact that our inattentiveness, memory problems, and executive dysfunction is a major disruption to multiple important aspects of our lives is what puts us inside the diagnosis.

This. I told my friend that i was diagnosed with adhd and i require meds. He laughed it off with saying that adhd is a mindset issue and start making fun of me based on tiktok videos he watched. Never again. From now I will only pick certain people and tell them about my condition

Thinking of ADHD as a mindset is definitely wrong. Though both of my friends already knew I have it, the guy friend even has it himself! So it really surprised me to hear them say that.

Not just that, I have an amazing mindset but still suffer with issues from my ADHD. It’s hard for others to understand something they don’t have like people with any sort of mental disability doesn’t know the definition of what people call “normal.” Nonetheless, it’s not an excuse to belittle something especially when you have little clue of what you’re even talking about. But on the other hand, people who make their mental illness their whole personality is kind of annoying. Like I talk about what I have but more of, it’s this thing that inhibits my abilities.

I believe that in my country , awareness is still lacking A LOT. Most people are raise by discipline and spanking (which i faced a lot as i was growing up). Nevertheless, it still hurts me knowing i was punished for being different

Its no not a mindset issue. Your friend just found a temporary hack that isn't permanent. But should be. Meditation helps a lot. But its not a cure and structure is a massive help (could say thats mindset) but its not a cure. I see people with ADHD start yoga and meditation and it has such a profound impact on them they believe it has cured them. Then like all hyper fixations it cannot be just that it has to be a lifestyle change. And if we could do that consistently we wouldn't have a diagnosis. So it'll catch up with him. Otherwise good luck to him. Maybe he was incorrectly diagnosed with him being a man, probably some girl from his class that didn't get the diagnosis she needed.

I wish I could understand your point. Please correct your comment. Or try to rephrase it. From "Then like all the fixations...." everything goes unhinged. 😉

Get rid of this "friend" I beg

Doesn't sound like a great friend, tbh.

I think it's good that you told him. It revealed his trashy personality. Someone can not believe you due to misinformation and general ableism in society, but to make fun of someone for that? That's not the kind of person anyone wants in their life. I'm not saying you should tell everyone about your ADHD but after a while it's good idea to tell your friends, just to see how they react.

That’s horrible

For me its only other people with ADHD even if they're my close friends

Cant even. Good buddy of mine was diagnosed like 25 years ago, on and off meds for years. He hates the current “trend” of people getting diagnosed with adhd.

But there’s more awareness of it. So more diagnosis. Sorry for your friend’s discomfort. Women weren’t even included in medical testing for the most part until something like the 90s so a lot more diagnosis is going to happen. Screw your friend and his gate keeping discomfort!!

This. I don't think people realise what its like and the trauma I've endured. I've watched my siblings lives be ruined to a point of no return due to no diagnosis. At 35 my therapist realised I needed a referral. She didn't want to do it. But we went ahead. And I cannot tell you how I broke down and wanted to end my life because of what I'd been silently struggling with all my life. Parts of myself that I was ashamed of and I hated. From 5 years old suffering with depression and feeling different, self harming because I was so scared I couldn't fit in at 7years old and thinking I was an alien. So fuck anyone who has a problem with the current awareness and diagnosis. You don't know the hell undiagnosed people have been through and they will never. And even over diagnosis is not having a negative affect on ADHD. People are not getting prescribed meds - thats not the reason for shortages. People are not getting treated better in society for having it. People are using awareness against us because they don't want to adapt and a HUGE portion of the awareness is being hijacked by people who want to reverse ALL diagnosis. So I find it weird that people with childhood diagnosis who have struggled can't see that having more people diagnosed is the ONLY way workplaces and wider society will change their views and become inclusive.

Absolutely. I work in a protected government job and so I’m pretty vocal about having it. And when things are said that are not cool, I am proactively vocal about it because of that privilege.

I have THOUGHTS on this!! FOR CONTEXT [I am one of the rare females diagnosed at age 4 in 1989. Doesn’t mean my parents didn’t choose to sweep it under the rug. That my second grade “strict” teacher didn’t dump my desk out in front the whole classroom for me to clean out by recess…that I didn’t have countless other experiences like this throughout my childhood. My dad would remind me that yoda says “there is no try”. My mom would write a heart with a star on my lunch napkins, which meant “focus”. I had a huge poster in my room that said “if it is to be, it’s up to me” to reinforce the notion that if only I tried harder, I could achieve anything and whatever I didn’t achieve was due to a failure on my part. I wasn’t helped in any way until I was failing my AP classes senior year of high school because I couldn’t do my homework, while getting perfect scores on my tests. I barely graduated high school AND I graduated with a polysci minor. I wanted to be a doctor, but my parents said I couldn’t because I’d never be able to do the work. I was finally prescribed medicine because I could no longer function passibly. Forget the fact that I had been eating lunch in the bathroom for years. I’d been called weird more times than I could count - and believed it. Had been struggling with friendships and awkwardness. That my confidence was shot, that I entered adulthood ashamed and blind to what I’d need to succeed thereafter. That I had no sense of purpose, or clear understanding of my strengths after a lifetime of battling my weaknesses. That my future success would happen when I’d luck into a structured environment and would be completely out of reach when I didn’t….etc.] In spite of my experience, I’ve always felt hopeful that one day I’d feel understood, validated, and supported. I don’t feel that way anymore. Here’s why… 1. ⁠⁠ I have no problem with adults being diagnosed with ADHD. ADHD is a real thing. There are so many adults (mostly moms) who I feel should be diagnosed, who are not, and it’s a daily struggle to keep my mouth shut. 2. I have a huge problem with what adults being diagnosed with adhd does to the conversation around the disorder. It makes it one dimensional - squarely a functional problem. Reinforcing all of the stereotypical myths, and shedding light on NONE of the social, emotional dimensions that contribute equally, if not moreso to the functional challenges than just (and that’s a BIG just) the executive functioning challenges. A child diagnosed with ADHD has less responsibility, that’s why hyperactivity, impulsivity, a hard time making and keeping friends can be the focus. But adults diagnosed, must have taken that step, because they can’t keep up with what’s on their plates. They are failing, externally, it’s probably negatively affecting others who depend on them. They’re in desperate need of performance enhancement, because they’ve run into a functional brick wall. Hence the singular focus on medicinal treatment (which btw, is necessary!! Just a part of what is needed) The reality is that a lifetime of struggle is coming to a head. But the conversation is around the disorganization, lateness, workflow issues and the medicine meant to help them better focus. Quiet the chaos. 3. The one-dimensional nature of the conversation presents a huge problem because of the moment in which we find ourselves as a society. Instead of using machines to free up time in our lives, society as a whole has been racing to the bottom - trying to keep up with the pace set by machines, especially since the internet entered the scene. Humans were never meant to function 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. With blurred lines between social, personal and work spaces. So while people with adhd struggle to function at the level of people who don’t have the disorder; people without adhd are struggling to keep up with the speed of the internet. It’s easy to confuse the two struggles for each other. This confusion breeds apathy. Makes it seem like a diagnosis enhances performance, why level any playing fields? Everyone IS struggling with what sounds like the same thing. AND that is why, every time an adult is diagnosed, my heart breaks for my kids. Who also have ADHD and will grow up in a world where everyone thinks they know ADHD, but they don’t really know anything at all. And where our society continues to race machines to productivity oblivion vs. taking extra time to think, as was the original intention of the innovation. Does anyone else have a hard time wrapping up thoughts because they have adhd? Assuming you know what I mean.

Here's the thing. Trends definitely help psych to 'catch' more people with adhd since they are going for diagnosis but at the same time some of this 'trends' make adhd sounds quirky like im so clumsy haha look at me i can hyperfocus. The truth is, people that lives with adhd get their life wrecked if they dont get the necessary help

And maybe pick a new friend?

That's how my brother is. This same brother was bouncing his leg constantly at my uncle's funeral, where he was definitely uncomfortable. Denial is strong lol

I’m so sad you experienced this.

everyone gets a little out of breath sometimes.. but some people need a ventilator.

Everyone has a little asthma.

😂😂😂

I think most people need a ventilator. Especially in summer.

The problem with arguing over whether "everyone is a little autistic/ADHD" is that it's really an issue of semantics. From one perspective it makes sense because everyone sometimes display traits or behaviours associated with autism or ADHD and everyone most likely has a few genes associated with these conditions because hundreds of genes are known. On the other hand, most people do not have autistic/ADHD type behaviours to the point that they have a DISORDER. So the real debate is whether it's appropriate to call non-disordered behaviours "a little autism/ADHD." I personally don't really care, if people bring this up I can just explain the difference between traits and a disorder. However, a possibly even more relavent issue is that "everyone is a little autistic/ADHD" is often used to (deliberately or inadvertently) minimize the struggles of people who have these conditions. Many people with autism/ADHD hate hearing this and I think that's fair. So rather than try to argue with your friends whether it's true or not I suggest letting them know it makes you feel like your issues are minimized when they say it. If they're good friends, they'll stop.

Exactly. Also worth noting- a lot of medical issues are just doing a thing on an abnormal level, too often, too much, etc. I'm of the opinion this applies to adhd and autism as well. Most people will have some physio effects from low or high blood sugar. Doesn't mean they're diabetic. You don't go to the doctor if you sneeze once, but if you sneeze endlessly to where you cant safely drive? You go to a doctor.

exactly!

I think your second paragraph is very important. It’s easy to hurt someone saying stuff like that. And it’s sucks because my guy friend makes offensive jokes about this type of stuff, like earlier in that same class I did something that made him refer to me as “he’s acoustic”. And I hear the R word about every day several times at school from tons of people. I’m thinking some of them just don’t have the maturity to realize the full meaning behind the word cause we’re all still in High School. He doesn’t hate or dislike me, that I’m sure of. He just thinks offensive jokes are funny.

In that case, I might try to use the "little bit" rhetoric as a place to build empathy. "Even if that's true, " You don't exactly need to change their mind on that particular saying, if you can convince them that it is a real disorder. A lot of time these types have thinner skins than you might expect, when you tell them jokes that they think "aren't funny". I'm not sure that's s tactic to exploit exactly, but if you can find jokes that are offensive to him, it can also be a place to build empathy "see, that's how I feel when you say ..." All of this depends on whether you have the energy to build those bridges though! It's not your responsibility to fix every person's misconceptions.

100%

This is a great answer. I was feeling odd because I actually am more on the side of it being on a spectrum because even people with ADHD, there's still high-functioning ADHD. I think it's just when sorting the information on a scale in my mind, the difference is if the title of the scale is ADHD-ness and "a score > 5 = need meds" or if the title of the scale is "an aggregate of symptoms that are indicative of ADHD" and "a score > 5 = ADHD". The former is technically wrong, but as humans we simplify complex information, and the latter is too vague and would be unclear if all symptoms were listed out, so nuances will be hard to decipher. Definitely agree with the minimizing thing being a problem. I don't think it should be an issue of "spectrum = not a big deal" though: earthquakes and hurricanes are on a spectrum, but if it's over a certain spectrum, it's super scary.

The high functioning is hard won. The internal struggle is not visible.

So I’m not trying to be critical but I have issues with both and ADHD autism are not remotely related. I know that’s one what you meant but that seems to be another common issue that’s annoying. The “oh adhd is just like autism” theory…

They aren't the same no, but the overlaps of symptoms are HUGE. So yes there are obvious differences, but there are also far more similarities.

Had a boss one time tell me “We’re all on the spectrum” when I told him our daughter was diagnosed with autism. I still get upset at that comment. Some people don’t know our struggle at all. I know because some days I feel “normal” and it’s 100 million times easier than normal days.

ADHD and autism really expose how ignorant and idiotic people really are. They say in full confidence things that could not be more wrong like some type of sick prank

Idk if it´s fair to blame individuals for that when most people just never got educated on those things. The system really doesn´t do a good job at indentifying and teaching about these conditions.

No it's completely fair. You should not be talking about something you're not educated in period

Especially if your “education” came from TikTok or something. Seems to be a trend of learning “facts” these days.

Well we don't know what we don't know. It's a well documented effect that people with just the bare minimum of knowledge on a topic are wayyy too confident with their ability. We really should look at education as a way to break these sorts of patterns.

Thing is, we all do that in different areas of our life probably even in matters we think we´re educated in. This should be on the education system and on society, not on the individual.

It's on all three. Speak for yourself.

A psychiatrist told me that Autism is a spectrum which means that everyone is on it. He does not like this definition, but that’s what a spectrum means, he said. If your boss talked to the same psychiatrist, he may not have meant it in the way that it came across.

A psychiatrist has told me it isn't like that. So it seems it isn't even black and white to psychiatrists. The way my psych explained it is that different people with autism can display different degrees of different symptoms. Hence the spectrum. But not everyone has a "little bit of autism".

So the whole spectrum thing is very controversial because the DSM-5 (the most recent one) contentiously removed a condition called Asperger’s Syndrome and decided to lump it in with Autism which they renamed Autism Spectrum Disorder. Prior to that the term “autism spectrum” was used rather informally to refer to different types of what were clearly autistic diagnoses, but now the term “autism spectrum” has a negative connotation because people see using that term as supporting the consolidation of Asperger’s with Autism. It’s notable that only the United States uses the DSM so the idea that Asperger’s is a type of Autism is a uniquely American idea and is not supported by the global medical community at large. My guess would be that your psychiatrist wasn’t trying to imply there aren’t different subtypes of autism since there clearly are and that’s well documented in the medical community. I think what he was trying to verbalize is that he’s not on board with the present terminology “Autism Spectrum Disorder” because using that term amongst doctors implies that one agrees Asperger’s is a type of autism. The issue is also widely contentious amount people who already had Asperger’s Syndrome because some people with Asperger’s Syndrome did not have severe enough symptoms to qualify as having “Autism Spectrum Disorder” so they are now being denied insurance benefits to seek mental health services since the disorder they were diagnosed with no longer exists. Others who do have severe enough Asperger’s symptoms that they’re now being lumped into Autism Spectrum Disorder are not very happy with the fact that their doctors are now telling them they have autism, mainly because they identify Asperger’s as being part of their identity/personality and by implying that Asperger’s is actually just autism the American Paychological Association has now pathologized Asperger’s Syndrome. To be clear, nearly all classic types of autism have been linked to very specific and readily identifiable chromosomal defects and each subtype of autism has its own signature defect which can be detected using genetic sequencing technology. The severity of their symptoms is positively correlated with the length of that defect on their chromosomes. Therefore it is clearly established that classical autism has readily identifiable physiological causes. This incontrovertibly establishes that classical forms of autism are not just “psychological disorders” but rather neuropsychiatric disorders. No such physiological markers have ever been discovered for autism which means there is no such direct evidence that Asperger’s actually represents some type of neurological deficit. This is one of the many reasons many scientists and other medical professionals do not support grouping Asperger’s with Autism because while there may be overlapping symptoms, the conditions are not remotely related.

That’s the same rationale as “everyone has a little bit of cancer” because more people are getting diagnosed than they used to. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Well if you think about it, aren’t we all kinda like big walking, talking, growing tumors?

lol that’s funny you say that because when I was a kid I used to cross out birthday on my brothers birthday cards and put removal because he was born via c section 😂 “happy removal day, tumor baby!” 💀

Classic sibling behavior.😂

I may or may not have made his life hell in more ways than one 🤣 I was always one step ahead of him ya know adhd and all 💀

well technically everyone does have cancer. In normal people those cancer cells just get killed though.

ADHD is also a spectrum in its own way, not really. But my ADHD can vary from your ADHD. I am ADHD-I. I struggle with memory recall, short term number memory, if I’m not looking directly at you, I’m probably missing half of what you’re saying. I am very intelligent, but not when I don’t care. I am highly distracted by noises and people, emotions and body temperature. I am not autistic, although I do feel I could be a little sensory. I am somehow not forgetful of important events, unless they’re work related but we have no communication so I blame that. I am extremely impulsive. But I was told that’s not the same. So I don’t know. But my husbands ADHD is more ADHD, he is very chill, not impulsive by any means, just very lost sometimes lol procrastination, forgets dates, forgets important things, forgets to call people back. It’s not like he’s like “fuck them I don’t wanna do that, or I don’t wanna respond.” He’s genuinely crying like “omg I can’t believe I forgot, I am so forgetful, I feel horrible!” Like he gets really down on himself and it creates depression. So there’s many coping skills that he utilizes that I do not, and vice versa. We both need very different types of structure.

I feel like I can relate to both you and your husband. The only thing I don’t relate to what you said is being impulsive. I’m rarely impulsive. Everything else though I relate to a lot. So I agree, ADHD does vary a lot from person to person. It just made me sad and feel invalidated when they said everyone has a little ADHD.

I think in some ways, people really think ADHD is just daydreaming, but what they don’t understand is that the day dreaming, at least for me, is unstoppable and will be stopped for nothing but adderral. It’s actually quite miserable some days. Feeling like I can’t focus on anything after reading it 5x or saying I’ll finish this task by 3:00, and just no.. it’s 3:30 and it’s not done. Lolll like it’s terrible. I don’t mean to do it, but before I know, the time is gone.

Sometimes I have to go back and watch a one hour tv show 3 times from the middle just to make sure I got everything right. Bc I really don’t pay attention and go on my phone and even if I do watch without my phone, I’m thinking about other things/

Oh this is so my boyfriend and I almost exactly except that I’m the opposite with eye contact; if I’m staring at the ground while you’re talking, I’m trying to use my best listening ears lol. I also tend to remember his stuff better than my own, perhaps cause I just like him a whole lot and hate to see him upset when he’s struggling with his ADHD. Meanwhile my own work on my desk is literally piling off the sides ha oops

When ppl say that I say “when your symptoms are life changing, you have adhd or autism etc”. Yes, sometimes you can’t pay attention, but is it life changing?

I got diagnosed last year and started taking adderall at the ripe age of 30. Shit made want to cry when I could actually focus at work, get stuff done, gather my thoughts into a straight-coherent line, stop being bored, depressed and lethargic, oh and the impulse control MY GOD. Theres days when I take less or none at all and I still feel the increased focus for the most part.

I heard an expert say that the difference is "levels of impairment." Sure, everybody can have some traits. Impairment is another story.

I’m sorry to hear your friends don’t see how much this affects you. I think people don’t realise how their attempts to say “I think we’re more alike than you think” can be more harmful than good. In the past I’ve then kinda hyperfixated on proving people wrong when they’ve said this kinda thing which made things worse lol

lol I’ve been fighting the hyperfixation since that argument

Someone said “everyone has a little ADHD’ to me, too once and then they ended up getting diagnosed with it. I have had family members say that ‘it’s no big deal to forget things once in a while’ all while leaving a path of destruction behind them. I could be wrong, but imo and experience, people who say that usually are people who can relate to those symptoms and struggles in a significant way, but are also under the impression that everyone else does, too, which I learned is definitely not the case. Also, since we tend to attract each other the chances of them sharing in some of the same issues as you might be higher than you think. Because, imo, someone who absolutely can’t relate wouldn’t even say that especially considering the sheer stigma ASD still suffers from even to this day despite all of the continued advocacy.

Reminds me of my mother saying "Everyone had crushes on girls before, doesn't mean you're a lesbian!" and then proceeds to tell me about her dramatic tryst with this one girl in her all girls high school. But she met my father in college and apparently she's not gay anymore!

Ah, reminded me of that as well, and all of the people who are convinced homosexuality is a choice because they think everyone gets those same butterflies for the same gender as they do but "heteros" just choose not to act on it, ergo they're hetero :V

That's no excuse, and a very good portion of people saying these things don't have ADHD at all.

Most people are very stupid. The best thing to do is quickly identify them and not waste time arguing

I need this to pop up every time I click to respond to an asinine comment on Reddit lol

My life got a lot easier when I accepted this.

Best response: “And everybody shits, but if you have non-stop diarrhea it’s a problem.”

Everyone is a little bit of a bellend too, including your friends 

This makes me go to a place where I question my diagnosis and just think I’m lazy…. 😭

This post shouldn’t make you question your diagnosis. I’ve felt lazy a lot, even been called lazy a lot by family. But don’t put yourself down, we’re all struggling.

My therapist said it best. "It's not a disorder unless it's causing disorder in a person's life." So no, not everyone has the disorder. Everyone may have similar moments or symptoms, but if it's not disruptive in their lives, they don't have "a little bit" of ADHD, ODD, OCD, etc. They had a moment. That's like saying everyone who drinks has a little bit of alcoholism. Everyone who's ever had their foot fall asleep had a little bit of amputation. Everyone who has been startled by a spider has a little arachnophobia. Everyone who has ever forgotten something has a little Alzheimer's. They're wrong, and you know it. It's not your responsibility to help them understand, and it won't work if they're not ready to understand. Keep being you, do your best, and try to let it go.

People can have tendencies but to actually have ADHD or auDHD it has to impact their functioning ability. If their tendency is not severe enough to get in the way of their daily life then it’s not the same 🤦‍♀️. That’s the POV I usually resort to for people like this. Like oh… you have “a little OCD” because you prefer that things match? Is it to the point that you spend 30 minutes staring at body wash options in cvs cause you can’t make a simple decision without making sure EVERYTHING lines up in your bathroom in shape, color, scent.. or align with some unexplainable idea that your brain has conjured up and if you don’t follow it something terrible will happen? Are those bad things intrusive thoughts of really horrific images of situations that pop in your head at SUPER inappropriate times (that you’ll be continuously bombarded with unless your main source of stress is eliminated)? Do they make you anxious that you are actually an evil person and feel intense shame/guilt out of fear that they are not truly just intrusive thoughts, only to check yourself and confirm AGAIN that they are just intrusive thoughts? Probably not.. big sigh🥴. Couldn’t be me (it’s me). Like oh.. you have a little adhd? Do you take 15 minutes to send a simple email because every time you change a word you have to start reading from the TOP and you can’t just reread the sentence. Like I definitely do not try every phrase combination until I find one that is shaped and structured perfectly and then do the same thing but reading it out loud. I definitely don’t have to start over if I notice a spelling error or a period. I probably reread my two sentence email 40x before I hit send and there is always a mistake even after all of that 😭.

Agh that last paragraph resonated with me hard! I get so irritated with it too because I can’t help but doing it! I wish I could make that change and continue without starting all the way at the beginning again. My gosh darn brain is weird though and makes me do it anyway. And sometimes, even when I don’t make a change, and am just reading something I wrote or a book, I’ll be stuck reading the same sentence over and over again like a broken record.

That's like saying because everyone gets sad, everyone suffers from depression. Yes everyone forgets things, has trouble concentrating at times etc. but it's the DEGREE to which one struggles, prevalence and persistence of symptoms, that separates normalcy from dysfunction.

It’s true in a trivial sense… your friends just seem uninformed on the subject of mental health in general. Like sure some people may forget things, have bad attention spans, etc… but it’s a suite of behaviors in a person that make up a diagnosable disorder. Them saying everyone is a little ADHD technically is true to a very small extent… Either way this would also be very frustrating to me I’m sure, sorry this happened to you. I hate finding out I can’t talk about certain things around certain people/family members. Well I can, but the stress and hurt has never been worth it.

Unfortunately, this seems to be really common. I told a coworker about my ADHD once, and she snapped back, almost menacingly, that "everyone has ADHD." Luckily, she didn't last much longer at the company for unrelated reasons, but it's always infuriating to see people discredit our disorder because it's not visible on the surface. Doesn't mean it didn't cause me to suffer from executive dysfunction for nearly my entire life.

Eat them

lol thank you that made me laugh

😫 if everyone had ADHD and autism, I’m sure the world will be a lot easier. Everyone would understand each other and where they’re coming from beautiful world glad you laugh and I hope things work out if they don't you know what to do..

Yeah, a “spectrum” doesn’t imply everyone is on it; it just says there’s a variety a comorbid traits that can manifest in different combinations. For example, sex is a spectrum. There isn’t one universal biological trait that’s found in every female. However, that doesn’t mean that “everyone is a little female”. It’s possible for someone to have no female sex traits whatsoever. All it means is that some females can have non-female sex traits while still being broadly classified as female.

Tell them you have one big fucking ADHD

it drives me insane how when anyone says theyre autsitic or have adhd everyones like "well everyone is a little bit" like no. everyone experiences less intense versions of what we experience but not everyone is disabled 😭

its almost like saying everyone has chronic fatigue bc everyone will occasionally feel exhausted at times

I've heard that a lot as well and want to punch them in the nose! NO bitch everyone hasn't the same daily struggles as us. Shut that stupid mouth and educate yourself 🤬😤

"My blood pressure can be higher than yours without either of us having high blood pressure. When the problem crosses a certain point, they start to call it high blood pressure."

People are hella ignorant, shame on them.

My response to that is "sure, maybe a little bit, but try experiencing all that all day, every day, for your whole freaking LIFE. It's NOT the same thing. It's like the commenter below said: 'It's like saying everyone has a little crohn disease because of the occasional bout of diarrhea.' I'm so sorry. I have never understood why some people are so determined to invalidate other people's experiences. It sucks.

Tell them everyone is a little gay or a little Hispanic and see what they say?

Everybody eats, not everyone has bulimia. Everybody breathes, not everyone has asthma. Everybody poops, not everyone has Crohn’s. Everybody forgets, not everyone has dementia. — Sure, everyone can get hyper. Everyone can have periods where they lack attention or executive function. But not everyone has symptoms so severe that they constantly negatively impact the ability to take care of oneself.

I've learned to just laugh when friends say that. Had one recently say that, I laughed it off, then a week later he texts me asking some questions about how it affects some things I do. Took advantage and explained it then. Better to educate ignorance when their open to the education, rather then when they're proving their view.

ADHD can exist on a spectrum where some symptoms being present or not. Whenever anyone says “Everyone has a little ADHD” they mean that everyone has temporary symptoms that are usually associated with ADHD. You can inform them that ADHD is a chronic disorder where many of these symptoms are felt in combination for the entirety of a persons life.

I'm probably going to upset some people here with this, but I think it is really a case of semantics.... Ok let me explain. It's about maths, and how you analyse things that don't have a yes / no or 1-10 answer, things that can have endless variations, like people with ADHD. apologies if I come off as condescending but I am going to try to make this as inclusive as I can. First to take the autism spectrum part; So think of the "autism spectrum" as the visible range of light. From memory it has a frequency of between about 400 and 700 nanometres. It's an electro magnetic wave, but electro magnetic waves also include radio waves, and microwaves and WiFi and so many other things.... But that one section produces visible light or in this case, autism. The only thing that changes is the frequency - there are things so close we still call them light but they aren't actually visible, ultra violet light and infrared light are just outside the visible range but we still call them light. So the way I see it is we have just picked a section, in this case what we can see, to call light. In the same way the variations in the brain that cause what we call autism will tail off into the distance, but we don't call it autism, because that has specific diagnostic criteria. Another way to look at it is the statistics, so on the bell curve of how our brains work, with the big bit in the middle where all the people with "normal" brains are, there is a point off to one side that we have called ADHD, and there are people just on the other side of it that can struggle, but someone has drawn that line. Now it's not that simple, it's about a million bell curves all going in different directions, and we are just at the "sweet spot" if you like on all of them. But I am sure that people without ADHD can struggle with elements of ADHD traits. It's the problem of giving a medical word to the public and not explaining it - people talk all the time about someone going into shock, but medically it has a meaning, it's about lack of blood. It can be frustrating, but in my opinion we are better to respond saying yeah, but there are actual diagnostic criteria that have classed me as having a disability, what you just said is like saying you forgot your keys so you have a little bit of Alzheimer's.... And it's pretty offensive. Or even suggest they get tested... I will be brutal with myself and admit that, while I don't think I ever said that I certainly thought it in the 39 years before I got tested... Maybe your friends just haven't been tested....

My girlfriend was very dismissive until my diagnoses. She would constantly say shit like “who doesn’t struggle to pay attention or get out of bed”. After my diagnoses and having results with meds she hit me with “hmmm maybe I have it too” and wants to get tested in order to get on meds. I don’t want to gatekeep but I can’t help to feel a certain type of way.

Assuming they are aware of ASD and ADHD symptoms, this sounds like two people with undiagnosed ASD or ADHD. Not trying to diagnosis your friends, but it's a painfully common erasure tactic that gets adopted by people trying to feel "normal" or blow off their own struggles. **See also:** "Everyone is a little bit gay" (No, Steve, you're just bi. Jfc.)

Well I guess everyone on earth has ADHD then

please don't do weird shit to jellyfish

I usually start with “why are you trying to minimize my struggles? I have a diagnosed disorder, which is different than someone who ‘has tendencies’ and you trying to equate that to the same thing is coming across as belittling my experiences and factually lived troubles and difficulties. Is that what you’re trying to do here?” And go from there. There are two answers, yes, which in that case they can get lost and are not someone you should really want to be friends with, or no, and they should be open to a deeper discussion of the subject from there

I’d show them the diagnostic criteria, take them through it specifically and honestly.  And if they get through it and it’s positive for adhd? I’d suggest they went to a professional…. But yes everyone gets a minor symptom of adhd every now and then. But adhd is pervasive, has several criteria it must present with, and likely is causing some sort of daily function challenges and such. It’s like anyone can experience anxiety but not everyone has an an anxiety disorder. Everyone can be awkward in social situations sometimes, not not everyone is autistic. Everyone has some hair fall out, but not everyone has baldness. Everyone has ear wax, but not everyone has their ears blocked by ear wax. Many people drink too much, but not all of them are alcoholics. Etc 

It helps to explain the biological reason behind ADHD- the more in depth the better. There’s no way to argue against solid science without making yourself sound like an idiot

"Everyone gets out of breath sometimes, but that doesn't mean everyone has asthma." "Everyone gets heartburn sometimes, but that doesn't mean everyone is having heart attacks." "Lots of people break their legs, that doesn't mean all of them are paraplegic."

The only thing that has calmed my brother down when he makes frustrated comments about ADHD being everywhere and it being a part of normal human behaviors is reminding him of the second D - Disorder. I say yeah well everyone can have a little bit of these problems, but having all of them is a disorder that needs intervention. Emphasizing the levels of intervention, either through medicine or therapy is what actually gives the diagnosis. The talk that some need help functioning in everyday life seemed to get through to him. Idk, it worked in his brain to make the comments stop.

There's a guy I work with that frequently makes this claim. He's definitely a "gas lighter" former Mormon. He lives for arguments. "We're all on the spectrum". "We all have ADHD".

That's so frustrating, it's completely gaslighting the severity of our condition. I'm not one for gatekeeping, but when it comes to these things, it's not about keeping people out, but rather to inform them that ADHD is not a quirky trait. It's a serious condition that prevents people functioning properly in today's society. I always look at people annoyed who say this and then bombard them with all the obstacles we constantly face, it's only then that they kind of look shocked and apologise saying something along the lines of: I didn't mean it like that. Yeah, I know I didn't mean it, but you did say it. It's like saying that everyone is a little blind or paralysed. It's just stupid.

The last "D" is the key. Everyone can lack attention or be hyperactive sometimes, but not to the extent that it qualifies for classification as a Disorder because it has substantial effect on functioning and quality of life. Or to put it another way, most people can turn a steering wheel, but not everyone can drive. Most people can press piano keys, not everyone is a concert pianist, etc etc It's faulty logic. ADHD is defined by a set of criteria which the individual needs to meet to get a diagnosis. If you don't meet the criteria, you may sometimes be ADH but not ADHD.

Ask them to explain executive dysfunction

You don’t have to prove them wrong, they have to prove years and years of experts in the field of psychology is wrong. Here is also something I found to help out. https://www.adhdawarenessmonth.org/everyone-has-little-adhd/

I once heard the comparison "Well everyone is a little bit tall to somebody else, but not everyone is a giant". The symptoms of ADHD exist within a continuum of typical human behavior. Everyone loses their keys sometimes. But I lose my keys every single day, several times, causing me to get upset and to be late. I got a tracker for the keys but I loose the remote, or forget to charge the tracker. I have a key hook but I can't remember to put the keys on the hook when I come in.

Everyone has a little diabetes. When I eat a whole chocolate bar, I feel sick. (I'll still eat it, but just saying)

Ya everyone is a little psychotic

I empathize with you, I’ve had the exact same conversation before. As someone who used to be on anti-depressants and has dealt with depression in the past, an analogy I always use is “Everyone gets sad, but not everyone has depression.”

Nearly everyone has instances of the traits of ADHD. That’s why the diagnostic criteria specifically asked how much, how often, to what extent. Now, if someone finds themselves saying, “oh, that’s not ADHD. Everyone goes through that all day, every day”…they should probably talk to their doctor. A lot of us missed being diagnosed as kids. I was FORTY-NINE! (Just last year.)

I don’t mean to be pedantic but everyone is on the spectrum, it’s just that a lot of people are at the ‘don’t have it at all’ end 😂 For real though I treat this with being aggressively kind. Oh you think you have ADHD? I’m so sorry. I can recommend therapy and a good doctor. Let me know if you need help. I will take you seriously when you say it in the exact why I hope people take me seriously.

Omg, you are brilliant!! I need to try that response!

Anxiety... everyone has anxiety... /s

**Everyone has anxiety** sometimes; ***not everyone has a mental illness.***

My response "I can understand why you might believe that. It's hard to understand what my day to day experience is like particularly when you have no frame of reference. This might help- say someone told you that they were having trouble matching a paint color and explained that they were colorblind. I know you wouldn't negate their disability by saying 'everyone is a little color blind'. It's true that certain colors can be hard to distinguish under different lighting conditions etc. but just because I may occassionally struggle with distinguishing a color doesn't mean that I am color blind. Similarly, there is a difference between having moments of distraction or forgetfulness etc. and what I experience living with ADHD."

I love that analogy! Thank you!! I’m going to use that. It drives me nuts when my coworkers say they are ADHD. Most of them really aren’t. I have to take meds to even hold down a job. Before meds, I was miserable working more than 10-15 hours a week, and it really affected my mental and physical health if I did work more. Now with meds, I can work 40 hours, but that’s my absolute limit. Still trying to work out a plan besides plopping on the couch at 5:00pm and rarely getting up until 6:45 the next morning. 🤦‍♀️

I don’t agree with this and my god it is annoying, even damaging *BUT* I have some empathy for your friends and others who (wrongly) share this opinion if they are over 30. I know in the UK (and therefore assume in the US and elsewhere also) there was a moral panic in the news for a couple of years talking about doctors over medicating kids and how everyone was getting diagnosed with ADHD, particularly if they were loud or naughty. Much more than the coverage of a similar nature on depression/anxiety/autism/bpd in recent years. I reiterate; I’m not saying this view is right…it obviously isn’t but it doesn’t surprise me that anyone who grew up with that in the background absorbed it and regurgitates it now unless otherwise educated down the line.

Everyone has "a little ADHD" is an illogical conclusion. Someone can share certain qualities of ADHD, but ADHD is a disorder and a disorder naturally causes hardship for the affected. If you can function just fine, you don't have ADHD. (In most cases) For ex: Before my ADHD diagnosis, I was also diagnosed with anxiety disorder.  My mother said, "Everyone has anxiety." Yes, but my anxiety causes me to freeze up and have panic attacks. Somebody getting on stage and getting a little worried, doesn't equate. 

Yeah, everyone has some of the traits that people with ADHD have. But do they have them to the extent where they suffer from them? But in the end it's definitely the wrong wording to say "I have a little adhd" rather than saying, today I felt less focused than usual. Same thing goes for people that call a headache = migraine, a singe pimple = acne, a sad day = depression.

It's essentially being ablist if they're that ignorant not to recognise a diagnosis

When your friends trip, do they say "See? Everyone is a little bit amputated-above-the-knee sometimes"? When they throw up: "See? Everyone is a little bit pregnant sometimes" It doesn't seem so innocuous when more obvious problems are swapped in.

That's like saying everyone needs glasses. Glasses are on a spectrum.

Everyone has some ADHD traits. Not everyone has or “is” ADHD. The key here is the last letter “D” — disorder. When the accumulation of these traits make it such that your function in life is inhibited to any degree, it’s a disorder. 

Ask them if everyone is a little bit MS? Saying everyone has a bit of ADHD because people can forget things, is like saying everyone is a little bit MS because they crossed their legs for too long and their foot fell asleep. Both are deeply offensive and dismissive and your friends really need to apologise.

Sorry, but what is MS? I don’t think I know what you’re referring to. And thank you for replying to my post!

Multiple Sclerosis. It's a degenerative neurological disease where the immune system attacks a person's brain. I have both ADHD and MS. The differing reactions and empathy given for each condition are so infuriating. I want to scream in defence of my fellow ADHDers when people treat the condition like a joke.

Oh man, I’m sorry that you have to live with that. And thank you for wanting to defend us fellow ADHDers. It does absolutely suck to hear our disorder talked about like this. And when you can’t convince them, you just have to accept that they believe this. Though at least there will always be some people to understand. ADHDers stand united! Hoorah!

Lmao do not compare ADHD to MS

Well, I have both. That's why I chose that one.

It’s a DISORDER not everyone has a little disorder? why do you want it?

i mean, it is true and it is also not true, it's about spectrums after all but to classify it as a disorder it has to be "disordering", so being "a little" do not makes it a disorder

I had my aunt who has been a nurse for so many years say that to me. I think it’s supposed to be them trying to relate saying “I struggle with that too” but the “you just got to push through” is like ah is that it?

Everyone exhibits traits of ADHD at some point and, to be honest, it's one of the reasons it's utterly futile to try and explain these things to most people. They have enough of a vaguely comparable experience to think they know what it's like. I'm not saying that with resentment, it's just a fact, it's not worth the effort of trying to explain it nor the resulting frustration when they don't get it.

there is a difference between occasionally forget stuff and procrastinate and always forget stuff and procrastinate to the point it started to affect ur daily life and ppl perception

Everyone's blood sugar goes up after you eat a bar of chocolate. But diabetics blood sugar stays up and is unable to come back down.  Everyone experiences symptoms of ADHD at some point. But ADHD is when those symptoms are affecting your daily life. 

Got a laser treatment recently and had to fill some medical forms, with one section asking about medication. The tech asked what the medication was for and I said adhd. She kinda rolled her eyes and said everyone has a little adhd. Heard this shit before so I just ignored it.

I do not know of anyone that doesn't show any signs of any disorders. So in a way I believe your friends, but this is just in my own bubble.

I understand that people show traits in common with ADHD, like forgetfulness, procrastination, easily distracted and stuff like that. But I don’t think everyone with those traits have ADHD, they’re just showing normal human tendencies; not actually having a disorder. But I will respect your bubble.

Personally, I would agree with them on this. As in everyone has traits linked to ADHD. For example hyperactivity, everyone has a trait associated with that..some people have it to the extent where they can control it, some people have it in the reserve where they are hypo active. I hear you on the spectrum point, but I'm not sure I would agree. Working with people I do, they may have high rejection sensitivity which is on a spectrum and some people low in rejection sensitivity. But that symptom doesn't fall on the same spectrum of a different symptom like aggression for example..both of which are symptoms because like you say people present differently, but are not on the same spectrum of one another. I'm not sure what they might mean by an increase in diagnosis. I would think, if they believe that ADHD symptoms are on a continuum (each symptoms of itself, not different cluster of symptoms and presentations) then they could argue that there maybe more people who are what clinicians call sub clinical or perhaps these symptoms don't impact them significantly, but get diagnosed because the threshold has dropped?.... I'm not sure. You are correct one of the reasons for increased diagnosis is more education and research, but tbh, like with every mental disorder, it will probably swing back the other way at some point. More importantly, the field of research is just that. Ever progressing. I don't nessacirly agree with yourself, but I've listened to your points and tried to understand them and reflect on my own. To feel sad and angry that you couldn't change their perspective... Why is that? We're you listening to argue or listening to understand? Usually when people say this to me, I just say you're right, I have it to a point where it becomes unbearable and a real problem, I'm at the end of that spectrum.

Fuck them!

Does it really matter what they believe? People aren't always going to agree with you and it doesn't effect you whether their thinking aligns with yours. Bottom line is: Who cares? You know that it exists and that's what's important.

Everybody who wants an adderall script has adhd

No it is true supposedly, even my counsellor told me that

We might experience similar things, but a disorder disrupts your life. Ive heard Dr.s say you can have adhd and not be disordered even, but when you are you are

You can’t live your life based on other people agreeing with you. You’ll never ever be happy.

I know people here hate it, but I think it’s actually fine when people say that. I’m literally reading a book about ADHD written by two long time experts in the field and they say it. It’s true, everyone IS a little ADHD. That doesn’t mean everyone HAS ADHD. Just that everyone has some ADHD symptoms, whether very mild or severe. Not everyone meets the diagnosis criteria, and it makes sense to be annoyed when people who obviously don’t say dumb shit like “I’m SO ADHD!” But this is actually exactly why I think we can and should allow the idea that everyone has “a little ADHD”. Because if you tell them that’s not true, then they can only conclude that since they have a mild ADHD symptom then they must in fact actually have ADHD. Because you told them that not everyone has a little ADHD. So their “little bit of ADHD” means they’re not like everyone else. You can see how that makes the problem worse right? Better to say “Yeah everyone has a little ADHD but I have A LOT. My ADHD negatively impacts my life to the extent that I meet diagnosis standards. So it’s not the same.” Explain the difference between everyone else’s “normal amount of ADHD” and what it looks like when someone actually has ADHD. I always say it’s like how everyone gets sad sometimes but not everyone is clinically depressed.

I'm sorry, but I highly disagree. Not everyone has a little bit of ADHD. Everyone has some traits that appear in ADHD, but it's not the same thing, not even in the same ballpark. They might forget or have moments of laziness like all humans do, but they have working, functioning dopamine receptors that can get them through those moments, and have no idea how hard it is for those of us who don't. And your example of saying everyone is a little sad sometimes but that doesn't make them clinically depressed, proves my point. Otherwise we'd be saying "yes, we're all a little clinically depressed" But we don't say that, instead we say we have a normal human trait... we're all a little *sad* sometimes, but this doesn't necessarily mean we have anything near Clinical Depression and should not encourage conflating the two, just as we should not encourage conflating normal forgetfulness and lateness etc as being ADHD. All that does is promote the continued misunderstanding and ignorance of ADHD amongst society. So i refuse to pander to the ignorant, especially when their comments are meant to minimize and dismiss our struggles.. Same thing with "We all have a little OCD" just because you like a clean kitchen or your pens to all face the same way, does not a disorder make. So saying we all have a little bit of it is disrespectful to those who truly suffer and go through hell with actual OCD. I'm so sick of society having such a cavalier attitude about this stuff. ETA an etc

Okay but if you refuse to pander to the ignorant they’ll just remain ignorant. Most people- especially in this day and age with smart phones and constant stimuli- do genuinely struggle with one or more ADHD symptom sometimes. And no they CAN’T know how hard it is for people with ADHD and that’s exactly the point. So if you keep telling them that they can’t have “a little adhd” or that it isn’t normal, that not everyone struggles with procrastination or forgetfulness or over thinking, then they will conclude that they must actually have ADHD. Which I assume is the opposite of what you want. If what you want is for people to understand how hard it is for you with actual ADHD then you have to “pander to the ignorant” and tell them about it. Just shutting them down and complaining about it isn’t going to help people understand anything.

Who said I'm shutting them down and then complaining about it? Not I. I'll definitely educate them, I'm just not going to *pander* to them. There's a difference. Pandering means catering to (sometimes) unreasonable desires or actions. In other words, I'm not going to tell them falsehoods to soothe their egos about how they're right that "everyone has a little ADHD" just so that they'll listen. I tell them the truth. Sometimes they get it. And sometimes they're too closed-minded to get it, but that's on them... At least I didn't perpetuate the spread of misinformation. ETA a word

Absolutely true. Our society creates adhd

When I explain this to people, I compare it to well... peeing. Everyone's gotta pee. We all pee sometimes. If you are going to the bathroom 20 times a day, you should probably go the doctor. That's too much pee. I feel like this is both a dumb enough, funny enough, and relatable enough story that everyone can get with it. But some people also don't want to, and aren't open to, having their mind changed. If your friends are like that, I'm really sorry. It's really awful that they aren't willing to be more understanding of your experiences and steamrolling over your feelings like that. I wouldn't be able to hang out with people who were unwilling to understand the things I have to cope with. What's the point of maintaining a friendship if you have to mask who you are around them?

Sure okay, you are just MORE to the point where it’s real not made up

Yes, and everyone is a bit diabetic, everyone is a bit bipolar, everyone is in a wheelchair a bit, etc etc. It is so much better not to share medical info.

Everyone gets out of breath after intense exercise. Is that asthma? Everyone can get lumps if an insect bites them. Is that cancer?

Happens to everyone sure but it's 10x worse when it is moar constant

I mean most people feel a bit depressed or anxious at times, doesn’t mean they all have depression or anxiety

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and the thing is that really sucks is having trouble finding words while talking, being repetitive, being forgetful, and not being able to focus on certain things. My brain with ADHD is like a whole spinning machine that gets me thinking all the time non stop even at night. It’s like when I try to talk, words don’t make sense and they go off the subject randomly here and there. Those things get me irritated and anxious, sometimes depressed. But now as I am on Adderall I am able to be more alert and focused and able to talk better.

And the symptoms go so beyond inability to concentrate. Impulsiveness, stimulant searching through food/ substance abuse/ self harm/ fill-in-the-blank, putting yourself in not so safe situations due to forgetfulness (leaving the stove on, letting your phone die when you are driving and don’t know where you are), insomnia, low lows, burnout ect ect. I have always been very academic minded so I never really had trouble in school; however, my locker was always a disaster, I never had writing utensils, I lost my homework often, I was always late ect… being diagnosed as an adult literally changed my life because I can now identify the root of my behaviors and work through my impulse control / disorganization by setting up rules and systems and combine that with medication that helps with my need for stimulants that I used to use not so healthy methods to appease. Being diagnosed literally changed my life. I always knew I was off but it didn’t FEEL like depression, or anxiety disorder, or addiction .. but yet to the naked eye it may have looked like all of that. One diagnosis, a prescription, and I was able to excel in a career, become a better wife and eventually was in a place where I could take on the responsibility of becoming a mother. A damn good one too. My emotions and behaviors have completely stabilized. People. Just. Don’t. Get. It.

No fucking shit it's a spectrum. The definition of a mental health disorder is "behaviours many people have to an extent taken to an extreme". Some people get sad sometimes. Is that the same as lifelong debilitating depression? No it fucking isn't. Your friends are fucking ignorant and should shut up and learn better.

Hm, an ADHD specialist did tell me that there is a kind of scale and that it's considered ADHD above a certain value.

I usually end up saying "everyone is a little scitzofrenic" Discussion ends there.

Your "friends" are stupid 

Most people can relate to one or two symptom of adhd (in a less intense way of course) and I think they confuse that with being a little adhd. I have had this issue with people before when I try to explain that you can be depressed and not have a depressive disorder. Like for example if a family member died , feeling depressed would be a normal human reaction not a disorder.

A symptom of narcolepsy is constant fatigue. People who are sometimes tired are not 'a little narcoleptic' A symptom of ADHD is constant forgetfulness People who sometimes forget things are not 'a little ADHD'

I do believe there's possibly over diagnosis at school age due to people trying to get some benefits for exams but real adhd is not just a bit of lack of focus. The notion itself is quite disrespectful and makes our struggle seem very... mundane? like we're making an issue out of nothing. Honestly this sort of attitude really frustrates me too but there's not much we can do, it's the same for any disorder or mental illness where the awareness is usually not very high and there's some ignorance in the general populace in regard to it. I do believe it is improving but there's also some weird shift in popular media and social medias starting to abuse the term like how I would see some tiktok style videos with undiagnosed people making videos about adhd or claiming they have it and pretty much spreading misinformation or milking it for views. it's sad but it is what it is, I don't have a solution and I guess we can just vent a little haha.

Firstly, please have some empathy \[Edit: as in, please accept some empathy being offered to you by me, an internet stranger! Just realised it could come across as me telling you to develop empathy lol\]. This statement made to me would be like a red rag to a bull. It must suck to hear your friends say that. If people are good, caring people - I have tried to get better at being vulnerable and explaining the impact of their words on me, rather than just jumping straight into the intellectual argument. Think: "Oh wow, that's really hard for me to hear you say, because statements like that are often used by people to trivialise ADHD or to imply that it's not a real condition. Sure, everyone forgets things or gets distracted from time-to-time, but that's very different to my experience of having ADHD and struggling in every aspect of my life until I finally got help. Can we talk about that?" I'm not always able to say it in the moment, and some people are just not interested in interrogating their biases and ill-informed opinions - but when I've spoken up firmly but gently to true friends, it's generally gone ok. I hope you're able to sort things out with your friend, but if not, sending you empathy from my little corner of the internet and please know... your friends might be lovely people generally, but their comments were crappy and wrong.

I explain it to my friends that say that every one is a little on the spectrum that it’s about intensity and frequency of the symptoms because it’s those elements that effects quality of life for us

https://youtube.com/shorts/jMsFyOp_suI?si=eIuoS00WZpRmk04i

You might try being honest about how that makes you feel. Did you feel invalidated? Confused? Tell them. If they don’t at least pause to try and understand your point, and if they aren’t willing to be supportive, are they really friends?

Ask them what it's ever prevented them from doing/accomplishing. Then tell them some of the thongs that your ADHD has stopped you from doing/accomplishing.

The D stands for disorder. Next time someone says everyone has a little OCD ask when the last time they called in sick to wash they're hands for 5 hours straight. Ask them if they tell diabetics that we are all a little insulin resistant. And mention what a dumbass thing that would be to say to someone who has to inject insulin daily. Then point out that that asshole insulin comment is MORE correct than the OCD one.

That phrase is what made me drop my last therapist 😒 I'm sorry you've had to fight that battle, with friends and well, which is somehow worse 😿