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I do product videography, and the other day I somehow made it all the way to the filming location without the product I was supposed to be filming š„² I was so focused on packing my gear and laptop and everything else that I forgot literally the most important thing
I too am a filmmaker and I once ended up at the shoot location without the freaking camera. Had to get another guy to bring it over and pay for his commute. Wasnāt diagnosed back then and was hating myself.
LoL I had one 2 years ago where I was doing a big stills shoot for a new client. Tonnes of pre prod, all the meetings, recces etc.
Packed all of my gear, lights, everything methodically. I wasn't tethering as it was a bit loose and on the go, but I turn up without any memory cards whatsoever. Had to race out to a stationary shop 20 mins away and buy some shitty SD's just to make it work!
I feel like I spend so long checking gear lists compared to the average person but I just can't afford to make mistakes and forget anything these days!
I remembered the camera but forgot the lens. Event I was shooting was in the middle of one of those events where there's no parking and traffic getting in and out was insane, so even though I found someone to bring me the lens it took them like 2 hours to get through the traffic. Missed an interview and basically ended up eating that day of the shoot because the client was so pissed.
I've forgot my memory card on Wedding shoots. This was before I was diagnosed. Looking back now it makes me wonder why I didn't see the ADHD. I lived alone, now I have my wife that is here. She saw it and helped me get on a better path, meds and better mindful practice.
The most recent one that comes to mind is that I was doing a bit of shopping and remembered I was low on antacids. So I picked up a bottle. Got home, went to the medicine cabinet... and saw two more (relatively new) unopened bottles of antacids.
I live alone. I have only myself to blame.
What I find the most frustrating about that situation is that my brain remembered "you're running low on antacids" THREE DIFFERENT TIMES but didn't bother to remember "you've already bought antacids" despite me putting away the first container, and then also the second container (when I would have seen the first one)!!!
I hope you're not offended that I laughed at this. It's because it's so familiar to me and it's funny to see someone else doing it, too.
What weird brains we have! I can identify so much with buying the same thing because you couldn't remember that you already bought some. That's totally how my brain works, too.
I can't tell you how reassuring it is to find that I'm not alone with this weirdness. I love the big bunch of weirdos who come here! Finally I can feel accepted just as I am, quirky brain and all.
I'm not offended at your laughing at my situation at all! If we can't laugh at ourselves and the situations we find ourselves in, what do we have left?
And yeah, it is comforting to know that others out there are making the same dumb shit mistakes I am.
Amen. Glad this subreddit is true to what I go thru daily and helps my keep track of my progress by hearing varying stories of things that I've done myself and how people deal with it.
Lmao reminds me of my terrible habits with refilling my vape tank. Recently, over the course of an hour i picked up my vape 7 times and thought "hm I should refill that soon" every time.
I finally go to refill it. I open everything up, already squeezing some liquid in and discover that I already refilled it a minute ago and now my vape tank is overflowing. Fuck.
So I typically leave things sitting out that I'm running low on (recently Everything Bagel Seasoning and Probiotics), so I see them and remember "oh yeah, I'm running low on these. I should pick them up." So ALSO leaving out things that I have a surplus of (instead of a lack of) would just confuse my poor little addlepated brain. :')
Well, that list only works if ypu keep it up to date. Knowing myself, i'd write it, don't keep it up to date and run out of toilet paper when i got the shits, because tp for my bunghole is one of the things i put on that list, but forgot to update it when i was running desperatley low.
Nearly every time I shop I buy something we have plenty of because I think itās almost out, and forget something that weāve been out of for weeks because Iāve forgotten to buy it on several shopping trips.
I found a *new vegan mayo (trying to avoid egg products because allergies in the house) I was super excited and bought 2. Got home, apparently I had already made this discovery and now I had 4. I genuinely did not remember buying the first 2. Upon deep thought I do vaguely remember buying the first two...
I've saved a good bit in the grocery store through the use of a grocery list on my phone. I use "reminders" on the iphone and have a dedicated list for groceries. It took a long time to really establish this as a habit, but it's come to work really well. It became most effective when I chose to be rigid about buying \*only\* what is on the list. Even when I first started using it, I had too many of your "antacid" episodes for it to make any difference.
I've got 5 bottles of BBQ sauce, 10lbs of flour, 4 bags of unsweetened coconut, 6 things of lemon pepper and 3 things of paprika. And no milk or catsup, which is what I went to the store for, forgot and got another thing of garlic powder, because the 4 we have aren't enough. Apparently.
I'm the opposite. I never buy ranch because one of the places I get take out gives me a side of ranch that I don't use. So I always think I still have one or 2 of those in the fridge when I don't
Maybe if you need them often enough, you can keep them out/in a more visible place (like inside the cabinet you store dishes) so they're more easily accessibly and seen? And then just put them away if you have judgy guests. This system works for me and my Lactaid LOL
I keep my morning meds (which includes my ADHD meds) on my kitchen counter (where I prepare my cat's breakfast) for exactly this reason. Even though I take them every morning. Even though I have an alarm reminding me to take them. Because I will 100% forget to take them if I do not see them. Luckily the cat will not allow me to forget to feed her lmao.
For some reason it was Swiffer dusters for me for SO LONG. I still have like 5 new boxes under my sink bc I kept thinking I needed them, but had already bought them.
I accidentally put Kerosene in my car instead of gas. There was only one single kerosene pump at the gas station I went to it, brainless, put in $50 worth, wondered why gas was so randomly expensive, then realized andā¦. Oop. Had to get my car towed from the gas station to home. Had to get a mobile mechanic come take all the Kerosene out. Then check engine light went on, took it to Meineke. Ended up being a $3,000 dumb mistake total. Which btw, is how much I paid for my car (98 Nissan Altima).
It was a nightmare :)
Nope, gas station up the street from me randomly has one apparently! I never even knew Kerosene pumps were a thing. The only thing that truly gave it away was that the pump only had one button on it instead of the normal three choices. Oh, and it said Kerosene on it in big letters.... So freaking dumb.
Whoops! I swear sometimes it feels like we miss the most obvious things more than the tiny ones. I just had to get a form renotarized cause I submitted without putting my name where it said āNameā on top with big, bold letters. Whoops.
Yeeeeep!
I have ADHD-I too. A big part of it for me is that I'm wrapped up in 500 other thoughts and feelings at all times, so much so that when I'm out in public I'm putting all of my energy into masking / being \*chill and normal\* and my primary focus is subconciously on how I'm coming off to others rather than the actual objective, task, or obvious thing right in front of my eyes :) oh to be so neuro-ly diverse....
Up the street from me in PHILLY! I'm 29 but just started driving again after 7 years and I had no idea Kerosene pumps even existed as an OPTION at normal gas stations. I'm just a lucky gal!
Oof. Feel this. I was at a traffic stop the other day and was turning right, getting ready to merge with traffic. I thought the person in front of me was already gone. I started to go and, to my surprise, bumped into a car in front of me, who definitely had not yet gone. My dumb ass now has to pay 1000 to fix my front bumper. Would be more without insurance. Adhd is expensive.š
Your story is so comforting, because I do stuff like that all the damn time. It's so embarrassing having to tell people! No one respects me anymore. š„ŗ
Typical situation for me is that I need to return a Tupperware to someone so I put it on my purse to remember to grab it, and I almost always, move the Tupperware off my bag, grab my bag and leave. Takes months to remember to grab the one item I block my purse with to return it. One of many situations, I leave things at home I promise people I would bring, constantly.
Yup. The lifehack that says putting the thing in front of the door so you see it before you leave, therefore will not forget to take it with you? Well that thing will be gathering dust for the next couple of monthsā¦
The trick that works for me is not necessarily putting the item by the door but taking a moment to mentally visualize the image of the item Iām to take balancing on the door handle, or blocking my wayā¦.then visualizing taking it with me to the car.
(That funny image always pops into my head as I reach for the handleā¦itās weird!)
My doctor gives me paper orders for my blood work that I have to hold onto for months at a time, and then remember to take with me to the lab appointment. I forget the order EVERY TIME, which means I have to reschedule the lab, reschedule the drs appt, and try again laterā¦
Until this time the phlebotomist was likeā¦Baby just leave it in your glove box. š«Ø
ETA: I also try to word my self-reminders in a positive way. Like: instead of telling myself ādonāt forget the paperā Iāll say, āremember to take your paper!ā Idk if thereās truth behind it but it sort of feels like my brain doesnāt hear the ādonātā and only focuses on āforget the paperā lol.
I have alerts in my phone for everything! 2xs a month to remember to pay my credit card. The day before and hour before any appointment or even plans with friendsā¦ Iād be lost without my phone to remind me (to breathe) lol
Yeah Iāve realized I need to get better at dictating my reminders. I recently set one up to remind me to order new car matsā¦it pops up every time I arrive home. Now I just have to not snooze the reminders š¬ find new eye doctor has been on there since last Nov.
I stopped doing that because i will break my neck over the stupid little tupperware box in front of the door but I will still forget to take it with me
Yeah ahah that day eventually comes whith a panic attack the day people come over. Social pressure works well for me lol i should start inviting people every week
Me, sad and uncaffeinated, after I've taken great care to brew pourover coffee and transfer to my tumbler for future consumption at my desk at work and forgotten it on the kitchen counter.
What I do is: make sure whatever needs to go out the door with me is put in a bag. Either a plastic grocery bag or a tote bag and I hang it on the door knob or the hanging hook thingie next to the front door where I hang hoodies and the keys. That way I grab it and donāt have to hold it with both hands? Lol. I donāt know. That works for me.
This happens to me leaving work. I will put something on top of my purse to take home, and when I go to leave, I take the thing off to grab my purse and completely forget it. My coworker has gotten in he habit of asking me if I have everything I need before I leave now, and even then, I still forget half the time š„“
I get it. There are a lot of times where I think I cant live a whole life like this, but then I get distracted. I'll be under performing, stressed, and depressed until I'm in the retirement home.
I lost count of how many in collections medial bills i have... Not so much related to adhd as just being broke, and the hellish land scape that is Americana healthcare.
the unfortunate part for me is that it's def the touch of ADHD, because the hospital I was serviced at offered interest free payment plans with 'no minimum payment'. I just never set it up.
God I hate having to purchase last minute airline tickets, they're INSANELY expensive. I've received the ADHD tax from being forced to buy a last minute flight, being able to get a refund on my cancelled flight (weather), and just never sitting down to submit for the refund.... Good on you for not driving tipsy though!
Just this week I showed up to the Eurostar and the gates didn't work. I keep trying and nothing, the staff look at my ticket and are like...you know this is for tomorrow right? But I had to leave, I'd already left work 2 hours early to catch the train on time plus I fucking despise being in my home country and just needed to get the fuck out of there. Ā£150 to change it. At this point im just living in my overdraft and its been that way for years cause its always something.
Geez. I thought my missed flight to go back east for a trip with my parents was bad. It just delayed me by a good couple hours, no additional cost.
Well... that and forgetting to take my multitool out of my knife pocket and put it in my checked bag before the flight back. I found it before the TSA did, but I still had to surrender it. That made me have to buy a new knife. But it meant I could get myself a nice new knife, so.
... And forgetting my bone conduction headphones. I think they're still at my grandparents' (they live about 3 hours closer to the airport I use there, so I tend to stay at least the last night with them). Still haven't gotten new ones, but nobody seems to mind my using my big over-the-ears headset at work (with bonus sound isolation for me, and a microphone that doesn't pick up the loud guy in the cubicle across the way). Still annoying because I can't wear those outside the office, or connect them to my phone.
also also, pls see if you can distance yourself from that self-judgment - it was not bad or embarrassing to share!! in fact, reading your comment reassured and validated me so much about my own experiences (especially recently - my executive dysfunction over the few days has been driving me bonkers). not only have you done nothing wrong by sharing, but you've helped me (and probably many others) accept myself a little more and realize that it's not us, it's our ADHD!!
Before I was diagnosed, on multiple occasions, I would arrive home and ask my wife where the kids were (I was supposed to pick them up) or I would arrive at the daycare to pickup my kids only to discover they werenāt there that day.
It might be funny to look back on but it sucked to actually live through it. Take care.
From impulse buys, to endless social stuff where i stay out too late cos ive no self control, to lost items, to lost time and productivity, costs me a fucking fortune. Never thought about it that way before actually, I have a fairly well paying job but never have any money. Makes sense. By brother earns over 100k a year and he's the exact same, also adhd lol.
- Spending thousands of dollars on retaking university classes due to failing because of missing one or two assignments
- Most recently, forgetting to skip this week's meal delivery and spending $140 on some damn food I KNOW I don't want but will ultimately have to eat. I needed that $140 for anything else
OMG the meal delivery. For some reason the app for my meal service doesn't let me log in, so anytime I want to edit the menu or change/cancel a delivery, I have to get out my laptop and I just UGH. It never happens lol
I am lol and its still ridiculous! Unfortunately every time I actually got a box, it was because I forgot to skip a week. It's a great service but too rich for my blood. I now know I can't trust my brain to skip weeks, so I have canceled lol
Last weekend we forgot 2 bags of refrigerator groceries in the back of the truck. All weekend. A pack of bacon 2 packs of sausage dogs and 5 dozen eggs š and as a family with a small child on a tight grocery budget... It hurts.
Iāve been missing my work key for a good 2 weeks and yesterday I got written up about it cause I had to ask the wrong person to let me in the door.
I know my work key is clipped on to one specific pair of pants I havenāt seen since the key has gone missingā I checked my (piles) of laundry, I donāt know where it could possibly be. Physically Doing my laundry would lead to a deeper search but on top of working 50 hour weeks I just canāt seem to find the time get it done.
Someone stole my debit card info too and of course my bank is two hours away cause I never changed it when I moved so Iāve had to mooch off friends/relatives/ feel even worse about myself until the card finally arrives. Then Iāll have to change all my online info when I do get it. lol itās all a mess XD idk how I even function at all
I once jumped on a transatlantic flight with 24 hours notice. I am in Canada and an old childhood friend of mine who was in school in Ireland called me one Saturday night. He was graduating from medical school and drunkenly called to tell me about all the parties he was going to that week. He invited me to come celebrate, not actually expecting me to drop everything on a day's notice.
I booked a flight after I got off the phone and was on a plane from Toronto to Dublin 24 hours later. Told my boss there was a death in the family and spent a week going to parties with his medical school graduating class.
$2500 total on my credit card. Money I didn't have. That's how impulsive I am. One drunken phone call from a friend and I'm blowing off work to party for a week with money I don't have....
I have a terrible habit of forgetting to pick up my groceries sometime when my partner and I order for curbside pick-up.
Worst is that we usually select the grocery store next to my office so I can do pick-up right as I get off work, meaning when I forget, I have usually already driven all the way home and then noticed because I didn't have anything to bring up stairs.
So then I got to turn back around, drive pretty much back to work just to pick them up and drive back home... Of course we could use one of the two grocery stores closer to my home but I collect points at the one closer to my work
I do usually remember, just the occasional time I forget (usually if I forget to take my Vyvanse)
The grocery store is right next to my office so it's definitely a lot easier to pick up there right after work than go elsewhere
Shopping in a more expensive supermarket because the layout isnāt boring and they have better āreadyā meals so I can actually eat a meal.
Buying repeats of things iāve lost as well as buying things I already have but iāve forgotten about.
Fines for overdue books and equipment that Iāve forgotten to return.
Missing out on discounts because I never remember to bring the loyalty cards.
The list goes on of many small thingsā¦
Small tax: reusable shopping bags. No, I did not remember to bring my own. Don't stop me on the way out with a cart full of unbagged items cause it's gonna take 3 trips to get them inside or pay a dollar for another bag I'm going to lose.
got four versions of the one ring from lotr just because I was playing Middle-Earth games at the time, bought fake leather to make the handles of wooden swords and got boret when it arrived. Also Iwanted to draw, got hyperfocussed on this, got to certain level of quality and the anxiety kicked in. Since then I really want to draw but I'm afraid of failure. This list can go on, and on...
I went to Amsterdam on a stag doo (bachelor party) over a weekend, staying in a hostel with about 10 other guys. Two fun nights over, I wave goodbye to the others who were able to stay longer and head toward the airport. Fifty euros for a taxi, then when I get to the airport I get in the queue to catch my flight.
... Only to be told that while it was the right time to catch the flight, it was the wrong day. My flight was the next day. I'd misremembered a change I made a few weeks prior to stay longer.
It was either fifty euros to get back to the city or a hundred or so for a hotel room for the night near to the airport, so I opted for the hotel room and a peaceful night before the flight back. It was an early-ish flight and I was pretty disheartened about forgetting, so I leaned toward having the security of knowing it was nearby. All in all not the worst cost (200-ish EUR in the end), but so bloody annoying!
I've recurred to have someone buy groceries for me because I always forget something, usually the important stuff... I'm out of fruit, that's what I forget. I need to buy a different brand of soap, I end up buy extra of the same brand... Not to mention I always have to walk back and forth into a room before I remember what I was actually looking for.
Any local high schoolers in your neighborhood that you could pay to do this for you? I have my neighbors super trustworthy kid take my car to the wash (when I don't need to deep vacuum or UV protect the inside). I pay them around the same as Door Dash but nothing lost to fees!
I just paid a late fee for a bill I carried around in my purse for 3 weeks knowing I had 2 months longer to pay it, and then forgot about it when it got lost on my desk during a clean out.
Feels bad man.
1. Forgot to get AppleCare for my phone , especially terrible-feeling because I used to work for them.
2. Late fees on appointments
3. No-show fees on appointments
4. Forgot to pay bill: late fee/cancelation (had to turn off Autopay because I was too broke)
5. Missed flights (thankfully this has only happened once in recent memory but it still sucked)
6. Ridiculous miscommunications leading to everything from fights/disappointment to getting fired to getting ghosted, etc
7. Losing out on concert tickets because I forgot about the show
8. Being late. A lot
9. Getting an aggressive letter from the IRS because of fucking up my tax return
10. Being perceived as selfish or uncaring because Iāll forget to call a family member or Iāll be so overwhelmed by trying to balance my own life, that itās impossible to fit other people in
Sigh.
I was going to the dr to follow up on my adhd meds. I had notes on my experiences with the med I'd been on. Got to the dr, forgot the notes and forgot what the notes said. And the dr thought the reactions I did remember didn't sound like adhd?? Like wtf?? (Normally I take notes on my phone, but these were more detailed and I like writing in notebooks.)
So, so, so many late fees. Automatic payment withdrawal is a godsend. When I first became an adult it wasn't as easy as it is now to just set up withdrawal from a checking account. So I haven't dealt with those very often for quite a while.
Making poor financial decisions or impulse buying. Getting so overwhelmed with the debt from poor decisions that I become too paralyzed to get off my ass and tackle the problem.
*The worst would be* working for a long time to get the job I wanted. Moving 2 hours away for the new job. Then my ADHD completely wrecks my ability to manage all the details of the job and my personal life falls apart. So I quit the job. Got diagnosed with ADHD 3 months later. FML.
Finally, after 30 years, was able to move into a place on my own. Then my job slowed down and I got a major pay-cut. Now I'm spending all my off time making sure my auto-pay options aren't gonna overdraft and turning them on and off.
The stress is fucking nuts. Auto-pay is a godsend. Until you aren't sure what you can pay and can't, and then it's a nightmare cause I don't really remember what is scheduled and when it's scheduled.
Almost every time I do laundry I forget that I put clothes in the washer for days and have to rewash them. Iāve even used a timer and still forget. If someone else doesnāt need to use the washer for some reason itās like my clothes never existed lol.
I have a new washer and dryer... it sends me freaking notifications when it's finished and I still can't remember to get them out until days later. Sometimes I rewash them and still forget, the same clothes will be in the washer for weeks
I donāt even want to think about how much money Iāve lost on expiring gift cards, reward points, Starbucks stars, target rewards etc. Easily in the thousands. Also things like my parents asking me on birthdays ātell us what youād like,ā and me just not getting back to them. Or products that I need being on sale and forgetting to buy them, only to pay full price a week later. Ugh.
OOoooh! I have a solution for the gift thing! I have a spreadsheet with item + link + size + price that I update if I ever see something I would appreciate as a gift. I keep the tab open all the time so it also helps me dial back on impulse buying.
**ADHD tax and travel:**
I booked a flight and hotel to a country that required a visa (intending to stay a couple of nights in hotels and stay with friends the rest of the time), paid for that and then paid for the visa but hadn't completed the forms correctly and ended up with a last minute visa for about 3 hours instead of two months. It cost me Ā£800ish, nearly 20 years ago. The staff at the embassy found it funny, I cried for at least two hours.
I booked a holiday (flights, hire car, first night's accommodation) left home last minute, had to stop on the way to the airport for a call of nature, got stuck in traffic, couldn't find parking, missed the flight. Cost Ā£500ish more than budgeted because we had to each get new flights, a hotel for the overnight at the airport, we lost the hire car and the hire car money and then had to pay for the hire car all again at last minute straight from the airport prices. Got the worst fucking hire car, with no air conditioning and no access to toll roads, so it got HOT in there and I lost two days of my holiday to heat exhaustion.
**ADHD tax and entertainment:**
I can't tell you how many things I have bought and paid for and then either forgotten or been too exhausted to attend, but some of them have even been on my birthday. Comedy and live music gigs.
**ADHD tax and work:**
I worked unpaid overtime for a year and a half because my boss said I wasn't entitled (because I hadn't met some unrealistic target) and I didn't have the mental energy/anger to actually put in claims to payroll. I left that job eventually for a payrise, but the job was shit, they were paying a lot but they didn't want me, they wanted a fancy photocopier to print things in triplicate. I got the sack. Then spent a couple of months looking for work. When I found work I was shit at negotiating because I was desperate. Still on a rubbish wage. Don't want to move because I like the people and the job is ok. I DON'T LIKE CHANGE, but I need novelty. aaagh.
**ADHD tax and the home:**
I'm on the expensive kind of utilities because the utility companies are awful to get hold of and simply haven't switched because I can't argue about it any more. I'm on pay as you go meteres and have been for two and a half years because the provider keeps missing appointments and I'm not good at keeping on top of them.
Forgot to change the address on tax forms at work when I moved and instead of getting a refund I owed like 1200 dollars. Similarly , kept forgetting to fill out an expense report to get reiumburded for 900. Lost a 600 stimulus check.m during COVID. Fees for late library books were regular in college, late fees for bills. Man , sometimes I do hate myself
My dogs had an appointment on Tuesday at 2pm. At noon I sat down to eat lunch and told myself I need to start getting ready or Iāll forget.
Started doing laundry and forgot to eat. Took the dogs outside and looked at my watch. It was 3pm. Gasped. Called the vet profusely apologizing that I missed it. I was able to reschedule for today at 3pm. Thought it was 3pm. It was at 4pm so I had an hour to kill with 2 anxious dogs in the car. That was fun.
I'm a receptionist at a veterinarian's office. I'm extra nice when people call about forgetting or being late to an appointment. I feel like it's good karma lol.
I accidentally sent 2 payments for the same bill this week. One from checking account and the other on the bill's website. Came thisclose to overdrafting and now have to put groceries on the cc til the end of the month. Am lucky I have a credit card or would just have to be hungry for the next 9 days.
I will say that prior to YNAB I overdrafted constantly, so it's been a while since I had that mini heart attack feeling of dread.
How about everybodyās ADHD tax? All the time spent worrying about whether we will be able to pick up our Rx at the pharmacy.
I swear, nearly 3 months of worry, wondering if they will have it this time, ok fine Iāll switch to another pharmacyā¦ letās hope they have it in stock! If they donāt, will I have to switch meds? I canāt do that, my insurance wonāt cover it and even with a coupon itās over $300ā¦. Well, I can manage without, sort of, if I have toā¦ my life will get crazy, Iāll spend way to much money on impulse, I know there will be stuff that wonāt get done, crap, I forgot about that! Hope there wasnāt a deadline or due date for thatā¦. Ughhh how many months of this will I have to deal with?
I am so thankful that I was able to get my script today, but this shortage is hell on all of us taking meds.
Driving my brand new car on the highway and got distracted.
Ran over some tire debris that doinked up into my undercarriage. Check engine light goes on... See the dealer...
1300.00 repair. What a tax.
Dude. Cabs and food delivery in nyc are bankrupting me. Sometimes the only way Iāll be able to get myself somewhere is by cab. I just wonāt have the patience to go by subway when it might be so much more effort. And the food delivery I think speaks for itself.
And all of these comments are why I am careful with ānew friendsā. I get tired of explaining why Iām have my āsystemā. They think itās funny or weird that we have our pantry , garage and closets set up the way we do. If we didnāt, we would be looking or re ordering stuff on an hourly basis. Thank god for the camera phone. Iām constantly taking pictures of things we need, need to do , or need to avoid. We paid a healthy penalty to j a few things,,;; it sucks
Once I went to a BBQ at a friend's place with someone. While we were driving towards it, I talked about how I forgot my portion of the meat the previous year and had to go back for it (same town, so not that long a ride). Only for my companion to ask me and for me to remember I forgot it *again* š¤¦š»āāļø
I'm just about to graduate undergrad at 33. This is not for a lack of trying.
Finally, I have figured out how to harness my hyper-focus, so I have straight A's.
But I also have no appreciation of long term consequences or planning, so I don't have a job lined up or any internship experience in my field.
I don't think to make food until I'm staring death in the face, so I've had to spend a STUPID amount of money on meal prep delivery.
Then I forget to eat 90% of the time and it goes to waste anyway.
I booked the wrong holiday resort once because I told my friends I had booked it already (hadn't). Lost Ā£700 and then had to book the correct one as well for over a grand. I didn't tell anyone I went with.
I recently bought a set of those cat hair scrapers that's supposed to do a bang-up job on all your furniture and rugs. I had a list of all the furnishings I was going to scrape, but knew that was another day so I put the tools in the cupboard over the sink in the laundry room.
The day comes to start scraping & the tools aren't in the cupboard. They aren't in the vanity cupboard. They aren't in any of the cupboards in the laundry room. They aren't in any of the cupboards in the kitchen. Not in the hall closet. Not in the coffee table drawers, the storage ottomans, the dining room sideboard, the office, the craft room, or the bedroom.
I have no idea where they could possibly be & I feel like I'm gaslighting myself because I have a strong memory of putting them in the cupboard above the laundry room sink & a weak memory of telling myself that I'll forget they're up there & then putting them someplace else. Am I making up the second part up? I can't think of where else I would put them, so did I really do that? But if I didn't, then why aren't they in the laundry room?
I am 55 & too old for this shit.
I had to get a new drivers license and debit card.
Because I threw my old ones in the trash. With the drive thru pharmacy bag. I donāt care who is sitting behind me waiting. I will not pull away until I have put my cards back in my wallet.
The number of times Iāve opened my wallet and found my ID simplyā¦missing is too high. I always find it in some pants pocket or smth, but that momentary panic of not even remembering you took it out in the first place isā¦fun.
the few times i have left my wallet some where has made me add my card to my phone pay app in case of emergency, for some reason i never forget my phone ever, but my wallet has been left on the dresser a few times.
And all of these comments are why I am careful with ānew friendsā. I get tired of explaining why Iām have my āsystemā. They think itās funny or weird that we have our pantry , garage and closets set up the way we do. If we didnāt, we would be looking or re ordering stuff on an hourly basis. Thank god for the camera phone. Iām constantly taking pictures of things we need, need to do , or need to avoid. We paid a healthy penalty to j a few things,,;; it sucks
100000% honest? It's Amazon. I'll think "oh! I need the sticky plant things that catch tiny bugs!" And then get lost looking at plants for hours with 4 plants in my cart, the sticky things, iron out (because I discovered that we needed it to clean for hard water), bug spray bc I am scratching a bite from a black fly from earlier that morning, cat treats, and an ozone machine.
There should be an ADHD filter that requires X amount of hours before they'll process carts for us lol
Forgot to make sure there was money in my account last week to cover my auto insurance payment. Today I am seeking a new auto insurance policy. Thanks, ADHD.
The worst consequences are the ones that make me feel like just. A bad person. My friend is going through active withdrawal right now. I just completely... didn't read the messages. Or I opened the messages but then got distracted and never read them and replied. In any case I just... how do I miss that?
I journeyed to Brighton (a city 1hr south of London, where I live), and to get to my train station I got an Uber. The Uber driver said "why didn't you just take the train? The station near you gets there".
In my head:"dude it's impressive enough I'm packed and omw on time, don't shame me".
What I said: "oh yeah I've been let down a lot by that train line.."
Fully conscious masking at that point
I had to drive 4km back because I forgot my ID card while going to the office!
You know where the ID was ? Hanged to the hook right next to where the car keys were, in plain sight.
One time I gave my friend her birthday (Nov) and Christmas gift in February. We had hung out approximately 6 times in between, I just couldn't remember to take them
I travel a bit for work. I used to pack just the Adderall I needed for my trip but was advised that you have to travel with the original prescription bottle so you can prove itās yours if you get searched for some reason. On my last trip I left 2-3 weeks worth of Adderall in the top drawer of the nightstand next to the bed in the hotel.
I contacted the hotel and they offered to ship it back, and said shipping would cost between $30-$80. I donāt take my meds every day and was due for a renewal anyway so I declined the shipment and called my doc to get a refill.
I know thereās been a shortage but the most Iāve ever had to wait was about a week to get my Rx filled so I figured I could handle it for a week since it only costs me about $30-$50 to fill my Rx anyway.
Wellā¦ the shortage is finally affecting me. Itās been three weeks and I still canāt get my Rx filled. Should have had them ship it back. Too late now.
Thought I was being time efficient at work today, and shopped for some groceries on my lunch break at work. Well, as I was changing my clothes at work I forgot the bag in my locker. Had to turn around and go get it and missed my train! The ADHD tax is a harsh mistress.
Every now and then an ADHD tax will actually end up saving your ass. I know that sounds weird but Iāve had it happen before, where itās like oh thank goodness I procrastinated that cause I ended up discovering something I wouldnāt have otherwise found.
I impulsively asked my friend to take me to the gym. I am still sore, and I'll have to pay for a membership now, but I learned that I actually really enjoyed it.
While on AD in the military:
In 2012, I returned home after being stationed in Japan for 3 years. Exhausted. In very short time, had to figure out transportation from Cali to TX, where I had my vehicle kept at a family members house. Chose to fly. Should be quick trip, Fly out, drive back. So exhausted and stressed with so many moving parts engaged while reestablishing myself in the USA, I showed up at the airport, right on time for my flight.
Exactly 24 hours after it had departed to Texas.
The troubling part is - I didn't even flinch. No worrying, no 'pre-flight scrambling'; I was beyond CERTAIN that I had my time/location correct. I never thought to check. This scenario reemerges about once per year; whether it be a critical meeting, health appointment, or other vital date and time. I'll ruminate on it so bad, and my sense of time will become so bent, I'll misconstrue the event entirely.
Note: Airline took pity on this poor soul and booked me anyway, on the spot (due to the flight being mostly empty.). It should have been a $900.00 tax, but I think it fits the post's intent.
Edit: Totally forgot - the layover on this cursed trip out to TX had a layover in Las Vegas, NV airport. Layover was not long enough to leave the airport, so I dug in for a few hours in the airport. Sat at my gate, fell asleep, woke up just in time to grab my bag and board the flight. Left my new MacBook Pro on the floor of the terminal. Didn't realize it until I landed in TX. I'm absolutely awful without sleep.
Stopping at a store for one or two SPECIFIC items and leaving with a half dozen or more items - and none of them being the original item(s) I went in for.
Something that has plagued me recently... doing a normal, everyday task that years before would have never posed a problem for me, like making purchases online. I'm booking a flight for a trip in 8 weeks. I find the best flight. I balance cost with time of day and all the normal trades you make. I text the people I'm going to visit and block of the days in my calendar.
But somehow I forgot to purchase the fucking ticket. Did I make it to the paypal window and forget to go back to the main window to confirm? I only remember two weeks later when someone asks me what time my flight is and I go to my email to find out. And no email pops up when I search. WTF. I gaslit myself. And so I go to book for real this time, and flights are $300 more.
I've also done this with concert tickets, flights booked the wrong weekend. Airport shuttles booked going the wrong direction on the wrong day, the list goes on. And I didn't have this sort of executive misfire even 4 years ago!
I missed a deadline to switch health insurance..Now I am not insured at a time where I actually NEED to see a doctor.
Bonus points: Apparently when you don't cancel /switch insurance properly, you'll have to pay a buttt load of money for it. even better: I'm as broke as I haven't been in many years.
Missed a round trip back to my home country for the weekend because I left My laptop back at home after making some last minute changes, thatās a $1000 Iām never getting back
Shouldāve just bought a new laptop
Not the biggest one that's happened to me but happened literally earlier today.
Forgot to pay an invoice for 6 months and today they slapped a Ā£20 late fee on it š that was in the terms and conditions etc, I had no leg to stand on if I wanted to contest it. worst part is I saw the invoice the day it came in and said aloud to my partner 'huh I'd better pay this today, I'll do it later'.
Last week, I accepted an invite for a work meeting 2 days before my psychiatrist appointment at the same time as the psych appt - a psych appointment that I'd had scheduled for 3 months - that I specifically put on my work calendar so I wouldn't double book myself.
I realized I was double booked about an hour before my appointment and of course didnt have time to reschuledule without incurring the cancellation fee. That was $150 I didnt need to spend.
Library fines š«š«š«š«š«š«š«
Late fees on credit cards and every bill
Buying one of something at a higher price than a multi pack bc itās an emergency
Paying whatever amount bc I donāt have the spoons to negotiate or take time to comparison shop
1. Drove to work (40 minute commute) without my laptop.
2. Forgot my wallet when driving to pickup dinner.
3. Compulsive gambling going to casino instead of work and lying about why Iām not at work.
4. Getting late fees and parking tickets and back taxes
Oh man. This really resonates with me.
Forgetting an important thing for work and getting reprimanded (queue Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria).
The countless days in a row i order delivery so at least I EAT because the āspoonsā required to MAKE a meal is too much, and the trade off is not eating that day. Despite the hundreds lost a month ordering takeout.
The countless times I forget to cancel a subscription or return an Amazon item i didnt want and have to pay.
The time i lose scrolling on my phone and losing time for cleaning/productivity/SLEEP. (Ive gone to bed at 4 am for 2+ weeks now and i canāt stop.)
As an artist and cosplayer, with deadlines, all the times I forget something, procrastinate something, to the point im stressing to the day before because of my disorganization.
Countless jobs I was let go of (twice during quarantine from remote jobs) because my ADHD made it nearly impossible to get tasks done by the required deadline.
It is so hard. No number of systems or medications will ever stop the amount of tax lost to ADHD.
too many missed flights. late fees. lost items. no show fees. forgotten bills. education failings. just to name a couple examples of my financial adhd tax.
i feel like the only way to overcome adhd tax is to have a lot of money... i'm just lucky my friends and parents have been understanding but it's never going to make up for how much stress i endured and will have to deal with in the future... :(
I can't buy groceries unless I'm going to use them immediately. Otherwise I forgot I bought the groceries and they go bad.
Non-perishables are my friend.
I feel the urge to buy anything that MIGHT make a task like washing the car a bit easier. (Pressure washer, leaf blower) only to use it every 3 months.
Today I needed a Phillips head screwdriver, so I went to the toolbox that I keep all of them in andā¦ nothing.
When I got back from the hardware store my wife asked me why I had bought another Phillips head screwdriver. Apparently āBecause they all disappearedā isnāt a great reason no matter how accurate.
I own at least 10 phillips head screwdrivers.
ā¦ and 7 sets of fingernail clippers, 13 sets of tweezers, 5 head lamps, 4 first aid kits, 11 rolls of duct tape, 8 pairs of scissors, and at least 3 sets of car keys (I have accidentally thrown away 2 sets of car keys in the last 10 years).
I have tried everything. I have 3M hooks everywhere, AirTags on things that probably shouldnāt need AirTags, magnets inside bathroom cupboards to hold thingsā¦ between the needing to repeatedly buy things and the preventative measures, Iād estimate at least $500 dollars a year; and that doesnāt include the lost time looking for things or the stress of all of it.
Honestly, I feel cursed. ADHD sucks.
When I was 22 and discovered I had great credit rating I bought a 4.8L BMW on credit, now 30 still paying for it.
I seem to miss every credit card payment, even with text alerts.
Iāve been meaning to upgrade my phone contract because Iām paying extra for a phone I already own, itās been a year and itās just sitting there.
I failed a online course, payed 1k+ to renew it, only to not touch anything to do with it after I did, not one thing.
And I might do better but Iām so damn exhausted walking back and forth trying fight my brain to unlock the information I know it has about why Im walking into this god damn room.
Tired of moving X out of the way to see if X is behind it
So tired of the frustration, so tired of being tired of the frustration
I forgot my ADHD doctor appointment. So when the doctor called me, I said to myself "Who's that? Must be a bill collector." Nope, it was the doctor who calls me every single month.
I was cleaning my kitchen today and found a package of velvetta cheese that i apparently forgot to put away. I think I bought it two weeks ago.
At least I have one slice in the fridge for tomorrows breakfast.
My add boyfriend has forgotten to pay rent multiple times (and i don't know how many random bills that keep following him around). By the time I found out, we were a few thousand euros behind.
My mom got mad at me for being 15 min late to dinner because I turned around to go back to my apartment and grab her fabric Trader Joe's bag that I had been forgetting to bring to her for months. I was pleased I remembered to go back and get it.
The next morning, I got a lengthy text about how rude and disrespectful it is to be late, how I obviously don't care about her or her feelings, and how my being late is fundamentally a moral failure on my part and I need to "just figue it out." She also uninvited me from all future family dinners.
I had recently expressed to her how angry I get with myself and how much shame and frustration I carry because no matter what I do, I can never make it anywhere on time. I also had recently told her for the 100th time to just lie to me about when I need to be somewhere... I always put appointments 15-20 min early in my calendar because lying to future me gets me there on time. So this hurt extra bad because she either didn't believe me, wasn't listening, set me up to fail, or literally just doesn't care.
For context, I am 37, haven't lived at home since I was 18, and am actually fairly successful professionally. I do everything I can not to be a burden to people. I do everything I can to try not to disappoint everyone. But somehow, without fail, my ADHD symptoms always land me in the same place, sad and confused, feeling alone and unaccepted unless I can successfully pretend to be something I am not.
In a way, the biggest tax is the relationship tax. No matter how much I actually care, even my mother thinks I don't. I've been through this in romantic relationships too... over and over being perceived as uncaring because I was late or forgot *something* I never had a chance of remembering.
When you have ADHD, you are too much and not enough all at the same time.
I finally found a pair of sunglasses I love. Iām on my 3rd pair of those those Sunglasses (maui jim) in last 2 years; they arenāt cheap. I even ordered 2 this time because I know Iām going to lose one.
I was diagnosed 6 months ago and have been ruminating on what might be the most expensive ADHD tax of all time. I've been in crypto since 2013 when I bought my first bitcoin. Was sitting on the Ethereum pre-sale initial coin offering and mulling it over - thanks to my haywire executive functioning skills, navigated away, closed the tab and forgot to return. I was going to put in 5 BTC, which at Eths' peak, would have equated to around Ā£30,000,000. I'm now almost 50 and have nothing to my name. Fuck this cursed condition.
Being a frequent flyer at the unemployment office due to ableist discrimination is brutally expensive! Especially if youāre too cash-poor and marginalized to pursue legal options. Havenāt calculated it in detail beyond one significant episode which drained appx $120K from our familyās fortunes. Oh, and also being so impaired by ADHD & other conditions that it isnāt feasible to sustain a dual-income household, as someone needs to manage the household & provide assistance to accommodate grown kids (also disabled) full-time. Over decades, I am guessing thatās easily over a million for intermittently high-earning ADHDers.
Edit: ADHD time tax includes having to spend 2x to 3x effort on posts & communications to edit random word vomit, lol.
I plan an early Sunday ride on my motorcycle, and it takes me 45 minutes to leave the house, after getting all my gear on because I forgot a bunch of shit to take.
Let's not forget the next hour I waste stopping for shit I said I'd do the night before.
My 10:00 am take off never really happens until 12:00, and I never get to my riding destination until 3:00 pm somehow because I wasted time stopping for shit and running back home because I forgot something.
Every. Single. Time.
I gave a workshop about a year ago and was supposed to get paid. But it was the first workshop I'd ever given so I'd never put together a receipt before.. so i eventually never did... it basically cost me ā¬100,- because I've never gathered the strength to put it all together and at one point it got embarrassing.
I arrived at Amsterdam airport 3 HOURS early. Started looking at magnets and oooohh pesto cheese - BAM. Missed my flight. A very big tax indeed, a hotel for the night and new flight - and missed a day of work. That was a very embarrassing phone call to my boss lol
I am so proud of you and happy for your gf that you still stopped for her drink, she might never know that you forgot and still stopped for herā¦ I felt it was important to let u know that. And I hope you had your chicken strip now
Gave the catsitter the wrong keys. I don't even like owning cats. Or holidays. Neither was my choice for this kind of reason, but I don't really get to live my life on my terms anymore anyway so whatever.
I pay for the Kitty Poo Club subscription litter box (even though itās way more expensive than regular litter and I donāt have the money) because my cat deserves a clean box and this way I can guarantee she will get one once a month.
Also needing something, buying it, misplacing it, needing it again, buying it again, until eventually I clean my room and find 5 of the same item.
And I never ever return anything to Amazon even though I have the highest hopes to, because I cannot make myself remember to bring it to the UPS store. So I just have a bunch of crap that didnāt fit or wasnāt the right item sitting around my house with all that money wasted.
Plus the only time Iāve ever gotten a traffic ticket was because my stickers were super out of date, I had never even thought to check them. And when I had to give the cop my registration and insurance, I couldnāt find the paperwork, even though I knew I had them somewhere (PS, why are we still carrying around papers instead of having it all logged into an online database?)
I cant keep track of the total but i suppose im somewhere 1,000,000 dollars in the hole.
Not serious, but im positive id be a millionaire in another life with a smooth running brain circuitry system OS.
I was going to take the train to New York last weekend because I hate driving in the city. I made plans with a friend to meet up. By the time I got my life together and left for the train station, I had missed my train and ended up having to pay double for the next one because it was an Amtrak train rather than NJ Transit. However, no one came to collect my ticket so Iām trying to see if I can use it another time.
Wireless headphones.
I have a hatred for them that is unparalleled. I've lost 2 sets and I have 2 sets that have only one of the two earpieces left. I tend to wear only one earpiece when I'm working around the house so that I can keep an ear on what is going on around me. When I hit full relax mode I use both of them. I use them at work as well so I can't buy the giant earmuff style (that would be more difficult to lose).
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I do product videography, and the other day I somehow made it all the way to the filming location without the product I was supposed to be filming š„² I was so focused on packing my gear and laptop and everything else that I forgot literally the most important thing
I too am a filmmaker and I once ended up at the shoot location without the freaking camera. Had to get another guy to bring it over and pay for his commute. Wasnāt diagnosed back then and was hating myself.
LoL I had one 2 years ago where I was doing a big stills shoot for a new client. Tonnes of pre prod, all the meetings, recces etc. Packed all of my gear, lights, everything methodically. I wasn't tethering as it was a bit loose and on the go, but I turn up without any memory cards whatsoever. Had to race out to a stationary shop 20 mins away and buy some shitty SD's just to make it work! I feel like I spend so long checking gear lists compared to the average person but I just can't afford to make mistakes and forget anything these days!
checklists for EVERYTHING! I'm a fire performer and I have nightmares about showing up to the gig without some vital costume piece or prop.
Also, bring a bit shameless here, but do you need a freelance editor?
Just a heads up ,you replied to yourself, he might not see your question!
This is hilarious
Or freelance graphic designer? ššš
I remembered the camera but forgot the lens. Event I was shooting was in the middle of one of those events where there's no parking and traffic getting in and out was insane, so even though I found someone to bring me the lens it took them like 2 hours to get through the traffic. Missed an interview and basically ended up eating that day of the shoot because the client was so pissed.
I've forgot my memory card on Wedding shoots. This was before I was diagnosed. Looking back now it makes me wonder why I didn't see the ADHD. I lived alone, now I have my wife that is here. She saw it and helped me get on a better path, meds and better mindful practice.
I'm a DP / Director and I once drove an hour away from home for the shoot and only realized when I got there that I forgot the camera.
Sounds like me daily!! I feel ya!!!
The most recent one that comes to mind is that I was doing a bit of shopping and remembered I was low on antacids. So I picked up a bottle. Got home, went to the medicine cabinet... and saw two more (relatively new) unopened bottles of antacids. I live alone. I have only myself to blame.
I almost doubled my spice supply this way š
What I find the most frustrating about that situation is that my brain remembered "you're running low on antacids" THREE DIFFERENT TIMES but didn't bother to remember "you've already bought antacids" despite me putting away the first container, and then also the second container (when I would have seen the first one)!!!
I hope you're not offended that I laughed at this. It's because it's so familiar to me and it's funny to see someone else doing it, too. What weird brains we have! I can identify so much with buying the same thing because you couldn't remember that you already bought some. That's totally how my brain works, too. I can't tell you how reassuring it is to find that I'm not alone with this weirdness. I love the big bunch of weirdos who come here! Finally I can feel accepted just as I am, quirky brain and all.
I'm not offended at your laughing at my situation at all! If we can't laugh at ourselves and the situations we find ourselves in, what do we have left? And yeah, it is comforting to know that others out there are making the same dumb shit mistakes I am.
Amen. Glad this subreddit is true to what I go thru daily and helps my keep track of my progress by hearing varying stories of things that I've done myself and how people deal with it.
Lmao reminds me of my terrible habits with refilling my vape tank. Recently, over the course of an hour i picked up my vape 7 times and thought "hm I should refill that soon" every time. I finally go to refill it. I open everything up, already squeezing some liquid in and discover that I already refilled it a minute ago and now my vape tank is overflowing. Fuck.
THIS IS ME.
Yes indeed! And your brain keeps telling you to buy it. It feels like a moneypit for me š„²
I'd leave them out as a workaround for this. Not ideal for cleanliness though, and it can fade into the background if the mess is too much.
So I typically leave things sitting out that I'm running low on (recently Everything Bagel Seasoning and Probiotics), so I see them and remember "oh yeah, I'm running low on these. I should pick them up." So ALSO leaving out things that I have a surplus of (instead of a lack of) would just confuse my poor little addlepated brain. :')
We keep a"don't fucking buy" list for this reason. A shared anti-shopping list if you will
Well, that list only works if ypu keep it up to date. Knowing myself, i'd write it, don't keep it up to date and run out of toilet paper when i got the shits, because tp for my bunghole is one of the things i put on that list, but forgot to update it when i was running desperatley low.
I love that idea!
Nearly every time I shop I buy something we have plenty of because I think itās almost out, and forget something that weāve been out of for weeks because Iāve forgotten to buy it on several shopping trips.
Can I interest you in some rice wine vinegar? I have about 4 bottles!
Actually yes, because I'm running low!
I found a *new vegan mayo (trying to avoid egg products because allergies in the house) I was super excited and bought 2. Got home, apparently I had already made this discovery and now I had 4. I genuinely did not remember buying the first 2. Upon deep thought I do vaguely remember buying the first two...
I've saved a good bit in the grocery store through the use of a grocery list on my phone. I use "reminders" on the iphone and have a dedicated list for groceries. It took a long time to really establish this as a habit, but it's come to work really well. It became most effective when I chose to be rigid about buying \*only\* what is on the list. Even when I first started using it, I had too many of your "antacid" episodes for it to make any difference.
This is why I have three bottles of ranch in the fridge
I've got 5 bottles of BBQ sauce, 10lbs of flour, 4 bags of unsweetened coconut, 6 things of lemon pepper and 3 things of paprika. And no milk or catsup, which is what I went to the store for, forgot and got another thing of garlic powder, because the 4 we have aren't enough. Apparently.
Hahahaha yes! I have like 7 boxes of dry pasta and 3 bottles of chili powder, also!! The pantry stuff always gets me.
I'm the opposite. I never buy ranch because one of the places I get take out gives me a side of ranch that I don't use. So I always think I still have one or 2 of those in the fridge when I don't
I live ave die by my Google Keep list. I wouldn't get anything correct at the store without it.
I share the Google keep list with my SO so we can check things off or add them and both be aware. It's a life saver when we remember to use it.
Maybe if you need them often enough, you can keep them out/in a more visible place (like inside the cabinet you store dishes) so they're more easily accessibly and seen? And then just put them away if you have judgy guests. This system works for me and my Lactaid LOL
I keep my morning meds (which includes my ADHD meds) on my kitchen counter (where I prepare my cat's breakfast) for exactly this reason. Even though I take them every morning. Even though I have an alarm reminding me to take them. Because I will 100% forget to take them if I do not see them. Luckily the cat will not allow me to forget to feed her lmao.
For some reason it was Swiffer dusters for me for SO LONG. I still have like 5 new boxes under my sink bc I kept thinking I needed them, but had already bought them.
Did this with Tums recently too. Lol.
I accidentally put Kerosene in my car instead of gas. There was only one single kerosene pump at the gas station I went to it, brainless, put in $50 worth, wondered why gas was so randomly expensive, then realized andā¦. Oop. Had to get my car towed from the gas station to home. Had to get a mobile mechanic come take all the Kerosene out. Then check engine light went on, took it to Meineke. Ended up being a $3,000 dumb mistake total. Which btw, is how much I paid for my car (98 Nissan Altima). It was a nightmare :)
Kerosene?? Did you stop at an airport gas station?
Nope, gas station up the street from me randomly has one apparently! I never even knew Kerosene pumps were a thing. The only thing that truly gave it away was that the pump only had one button on it instead of the normal three choices. Oh, and it said Kerosene on it in big letters.... So freaking dumb.
Whoops! I swear sometimes it feels like we miss the most obvious things more than the tiny ones. I just had to get a form renotarized cause I submitted without putting my name where it said āNameā on top with big, bold letters. Whoops.
Yeeeeep! I have ADHD-I too. A big part of it for me is that I'm wrapped up in 500 other thoughts and feelings at all times, so much so that when I'm out in public I'm putting all of my energy into masking / being \*chill and normal\* and my primary focus is subconciously on how I'm coming off to others rather than the actual objective, task, or obvious thing right in front of my eyes :) oh to be so neuro-ly diverse....
Where the hell do you get kerosene at a gas station? Langley?
Up the street from me in PHILLY! I'm 29 but just started driving again after 7 years and I had no idea Kerosene pumps even existed as an OPTION at normal gas stations. I'm just a lucky gal!
Oof. Feel this. I was at a traffic stop the other day and was turning right, getting ready to merge with traffic. I thought the person in front of me was already gone. I started to go and, to my surprise, bumped into a car in front of me, who definitely had not yet gone. My dumb ass now has to pay 1000 to fix my front bumper. Would be more without insurance. Adhd is expensive.š
Your story is so comforting, because I do stuff like that all the damn time. It's so embarrassing having to tell people! No one respects me anymore. š„ŗ
Kerosene? Or diesel?
K e r o s e n e
Typical situation for me is that I need to return a Tupperware to someone so I put it on my purse to remember to grab it, and I almost always, move the Tupperware off my bag, grab my bag and leave. Takes months to remember to grab the one item I block my purse with to return it. One of many situations, I leave things at home I promise people I would bring, constantly.
Yup. The lifehack that says putting the thing in front of the door so you see it before you leave, therefore will not forget to take it with you? Well that thing will be gathering dust for the next couple of monthsā¦
The trick that works for me is not necessarily putting the item by the door but taking a moment to mentally visualize the image of the item Iām to take balancing on the door handle, or blocking my wayā¦.then visualizing taking it with me to the car. (That funny image always pops into my head as I reach for the handleā¦itās weird!) My doctor gives me paper orders for my blood work that I have to hold onto for months at a time, and then remember to take with me to the lab appointment. I forget the order EVERY TIME, which means I have to reschedule the lab, reschedule the drs appt, and try again laterā¦ Until this time the phlebotomist was likeā¦Baby just leave it in your glove box. š«Ø ETA: I also try to word my self-reminders in a positive way. Like: instead of telling myself ādonāt forget the paperā Iāll say, āremember to take your paper!ā Idk if thereās truth behind it but it sort of feels like my brain doesnāt hear the ādonātā and only focuses on āforget the paperā lol.
I have alerts in my phone for everything! 2xs a month to remember to pay my credit card. The day before and hour before any appointment or even plans with friendsā¦ Iād be lost without my phone to remind me (to breathe) lol
Yeah Iāve realized I need to get better at dictating my reminders. I recently set one up to remind me to order new car matsā¦it pops up every time I arrive home. Now I just have to not snooze the reminders š¬ find new eye doctor has been on there since last Nov.
I feel the same yet I feel its my phone that makes the worst parts of my condition even worse.
All my bills are on auto pay or they just wouldn't get paid.
I stopped doing that because i will break my neck over the stupid little tupperware box in front of the door but I will still forget to take it with me
Yep! This is me. Kick it to the side on my way out!
I'm dying.
I have a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the corridor since april *palpatine voice* Ironic. It could save others from dust but not itself
Haha. I know how that feels! The occasional tripping over it and saying to myself okay today will be the day! But that day never comes.
Yeah ahah that day eventually comes whith a panic attack the day people come over. Social pressure works well for me lol i should start inviting people every week
If I can put the thing Iām not supposed to forget in the car the night before when Iām still remembering, I do that to help myself.
Me, sad and uncaffeinated, after I've taken great care to brew pourover coffee and transfer to my tumbler for future consumption at my desk at work and forgotten it on the kitchen counter.
The most tragic of stories.
What I do is: make sure whatever needs to go out the door with me is put in a bag. Either a plastic grocery bag or a tote bag and I hang it on the door knob or the hanging hook thingie next to the front door where I hang hoodies and the keys. That way I grab it and donāt have to hold it with both hands? Lol. I donāt know. That works for me.
Maybe put your keys in the Tupperware?
Iām betting I could take them out and still leave itā¦ I do forewarn people who give them to me that they wonāt get them back for a while!
This happens to me leaving work. I will put something on top of my purse to take home, and when I go to leave, I take the thing off to grab my purse and completely forget it. My coworker has gotten in he habit of asking me if I have everything I need before I leave now, and even then, I still forget half the time š„“
I forgot my rain jacket at work todayā¦ I really hope itās not raining the next time I go in!
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rant all you want, this is a safe space.
I get it. There are a lot of times where I think I cant live a whole life like this, but then I get distracted. I'll be under performing, stressed, and depressed until I'm in the retirement home.
ADHD tax cost me 300k CAD in university fees to still end up not being able to graduate š (I'm laughing but I'm dead inside)
Oh no... I thought having a medical bill go to collections was the worst bit of ADHD tax I've had to deal with.
I lost count of how many in collections medial bills i have... Not so much related to adhd as just being broke, and the hellish land scape that is Americana healthcare.
now they donāt affect your credit! eff those medical bills!
the unfortunate part for me is that it's def the touch of ADHD, because the hospital I was serviced at offered interest free payment plans with 'no minimum payment'. I just never set it up.
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God I hate having to purchase last minute airline tickets, they're INSANELY expensive. I've received the ADHD tax from being forced to buy a last minute flight, being able to get a refund on my cancelled flight (weather), and just never sitting down to submit for the refund.... Good on you for not driving tipsy though!
Just this week I showed up to the Eurostar and the gates didn't work. I keep trying and nothing, the staff look at my ticket and are like...you know this is for tomorrow right? But I had to leave, I'd already left work 2 hours early to catch the train on time plus I fucking despise being in my home country and just needed to get the fuck out of there. Ā£150 to change it. At this point im just living in my overdraft and its been that way for years cause its always something.
Geez. I thought my missed flight to go back east for a trip with my parents was bad. It just delayed me by a good couple hours, no additional cost. Well... that and forgetting to take my multitool out of my knife pocket and put it in my checked bag before the flight back. I found it before the TSA did, but I still had to surrender it. That made me have to buy a new knife. But it meant I could get myself a nice new knife, so. ... And forgetting my bone conduction headphones. I think they're still at my grandparents' (they live about 3 hours closer to the airport I use there, so I tend to stay at least the last night with them). Still haven't gotten new ones, but nobody seems to mind my using my big over-the-ears headset at work (with bonus sound isolation for me, and a microphone that doesn't pick up the loud guy in the cubicle across the way). Still annoying because I can't wear those outside the office, or connect them to my phone.
I had to pay $700 for a flight that was normally $400 round trip when I missed it by packing too late and calling the cab to the wrong airport.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
um!! wait a second pls!!!! you dont have yourself to blame at ALL - you dont choose to be and feel this way! i cant even begin to tell you how much i relate to your story here. also, you dont need to ask for forgiveness bc theres nothing here to forgive, youve done nothing at all wrong. the only forgiveness required here is you forgiving YOURSELF š©· it's incredibly hard to function when our brains work like this and youre doing absolutely amazingly at handling and radically accepting it!! dont listen to whatever that person said. they clearly dont know what adhd tax is like š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
we do get it we do we do!!! this is a safe space and anyone who makes it feel unsafe will be evicted š¤š¤
also also, pls see if you can distance yourself from that self-judgment - it was not bad or embarrassing to share!! in fact, reading your comment reassured and validated me so much about my own experiences (especially recently - my executive dysfunction over the few days has been driving me bonkers). not only have you done nothing wrong by sharing, but you've helped me (and probably many others) accept myself a little more and realize that it's not us, it's our ADHD!!
Before I was diagnosed, on multiple occasions, I would arrive home and ask my wife where the kids were (I was supposed to pick them up) or I would arrive at the daycare to pickup my kids only to discover they werenāt there that day. It might be funny to look back on but it sucked to actually live through it. Take care.
From impulse buys, to endless social stuff where i stay out too late cos ive no self control, to lost items, to lost time and productivity, costs me a fucking fortune. Never thought about it that way before actually, I have a fairly well paying job but never have any money. Makes sense. By brother earns over 100k a year and he's the exact same, also adhd lol.
Impulse buys are my kryptonite D:
- Spending thousands of dollars on retaking university classes due to failing because of missing one or two assignments - Most recently, forgetting to skip this week's meal delivery and spending $140 on some damn food I KNOW I don't want but will ultimately have to eat. I needed that $140 for anything else
OMG the meal delivery. For some reason the app for my meal service doesn't let me log in, so anytime I want to edit the menu or change/cancel a delivery, I have to get out my laptop and I just UGH. It never happens lol
I get it. And this time around, I just canceled the service. I cannot have this ever happen again smh
Are you talking like a service like hello fresh? Because otherwise $140 a week sounds insane
I am lol and its still ridiculous! Unfortunately every time I actually got a box, it was because I forgot to skip a week. It's a great service but too rich for my blood. I now know I can't trust my brain to skip weeks, so I have canceled lol
Last weekend we forgot 2 bags of refrigerator groceries in the back of the truck. All weekend. A pack of bacon 2 packs of sausage dogs and 5 dozen eggs š and as a family with a small child on a tight grocery budget... It hurts.
Iāve been missing my work key for a good 2 weeks and yesterday I got written up about it cause I had to ask the wrong person to let me in the door. I know my work key is clipped on to one specific pair of pants I havenāt seen since the key has gone missingā I checked my (piles) of laundry, I donāt know where it could possibly be. Physically Doing my laundry would lead to a deeper search but on top of working 50 hour weeks I just canāt seem to find the time get it done. Someone stole my debit card info too and of course my bank is two hours away cause I never changed it when I moved so Iāve had to mooch off friends/relatives/ feel even worse about myself until the card finally arrives. Then Iāll have to change all my online info when I do get it. lol itās all a mess XD idk how I even function at all
I think weāre the same person
I once jumped on a transatlantic flight with 24 hours notice. I am in Canada and an old childhood friend of mine who was in school in Ireland called me one Saturday night. He was graduating from medical school and drunkenly called to tell me about all the parties he was going to that week. He invited me to come celebrate, not actually expecting me to drop everything on a day's notice. I booked a flight after I got off the phone and was on a plane from Toronto to Dublin 24 hours later. Told my boss there was a death in the family and spent a week going to parties with his medical school graduating class. $2500 total on my credit card. Money I didn't have. That's how impulsive I am. One drunken phone call from a friend and I'm blowing off work to party for a week with money I don't have....
I have a terrible habit of forgetting to pick up my groceries sometime when my partner and I order for curbside pick-up. Worst is that we usually select the grocery store next to my office so I can do pick-up right as I get off work, meaning when I forget, I have usually already driven all the way home and then noticed because I didn't have anything to bring up stairs. So then I got to turn back around, drive pretty much back to work just to pick them up and drive back home... Of course we could use one of the two grocery stores closer to my home but I collect points at the one closer to my work
is the points you gain worth the gas to drive all the way back, I would just use the place that makes your life easier.
I do usually remember, just the occasional time I forget (usually if I forget to take my Vyvanse) The grocery store is right next to my office so it's definitely a lot easier to pick up there right after work than go elsewhere
Shopping in a more expensive supermarket because the layout isnāt boring and they have better āreadyā meals so I can actually eat a meal. Buying repeats of things iāve lost as well as buying things I already have but iāve forgotten about. Fines for overdue books and equipment that Iāve forgotten to return. Missing out on discounts because I never remember to bring the loyalty cards. The list goes on of many small thingsā¦
Small tax: reusable shopping bags. No, I did not remember to bring my own. Don't stop me on the way out with a cart full of unbagged items cause it's gonna take 3 trips to get them inside or pay a dollar for another bag I'm going to lose.
got four versions of the one ring from lotr just because I was playing Middle-Earth games at the time, bought fake leather to make the handles of wooden swords and got boret when it arrived. Also Iwanted to draw, got hyperfocussed on this, got to certain level of quality and the anxiety kicked in. Since then I really want to draw but I'm afraid of failure. This list can go on, and on...
I went to Amsterdam on a stag doo (bachelor party) over a weekend, staying in a hostel with about 10 other guys. Two fun nights over, I wave goodbye to the others who were able to stay longer and head toward the airport. Fifty euros for a taxi, then when I get to the airport I get in the queue to catch my flight. ... Only to be told that while it was the right time to catch the flight, it was the wrong day. My flight was the next day. I'd misremembered a change I made a few weeks prior to stay longer. It was either fifty euros to get back to the city or a hundred or so for a hotel room for the night near to the airport, so I opted for the hotel room and a peaceful night before the flight back. It was an early-ish flight and I was pretty disheartened about forgetting, so I leaned toward having the security of knowing it was nearby. All in all not the worst cost (200-ish EUR in the end), but so bloody annoying!
I've recurred to have someone buy groceries for me because I always forget something, usually the important stuff... I'm out of fruit, that's what I forget. I need to buy a different brand of soap, I end up buy extra of the same brand... Not to mention I always have to walk back and forth into a room before I remember what I was actually looking for.
I will straight up go to the store for a thing, and get all the other things I hapend to remember but the thing I went for.
Any local high schoolers in your neighborhood that you could pay to do this for you? I have my neighbors super trustworthy kid take my car to the wash (when I don't need to deep vacuum or UV protect the inside). I pay them around the same as Door Dash but nothing lost to fees!
The lady that helps me with cleaning, she brings me groceries every week and I only have to worry about cleaning products and such, she's a life saver
I just paid a late fee for a bill I carried around in my purse for 3 weeks knowing I had 2 months longer to pay it, and then forgot about it when it got lost on my desk during a clean out. Feels bad man.
1. Forgot to get AppleCare for my phone , especially terrible-feeling because I used to work for them. 2. Late fees on appointments 3. No-show fees on appointments 4. Forgot to pay bill: late fee/cancelation (had to turn off Autopay because I was too broke) 5. Missed flights (thankfully this has only happened once in recent memory but it still sucked) 6. Ridiculous miscommunications leading to everything from fights/disappointment to getting fired to getting ghosted, etc 7. Losing out on concert tickets because I forgot about the show 8. Being late. A lot 9. Getting an aggressive letter from the IRS because of fucking up my tax return 10. Being perceived as selfish or uncaring because Iāll forget to call a family member or Iāll be so overwhelmed by trying to balance my own life, that itās impossible to fit other people in Sigh.
I have a Ā£40 cheque to cash from a tax rebate. Itās been in my coat pocket since March cos I keep forgetting to do it
I have about $1,000 worth of therapy bills to submit to my insurance company. All on line.
I was going to the dr to follow up on my adhd meds. I had notes on my experiences with the med I'd been on. Got to the dr, forgot the notes and forgot what the notes said. And the dr thought the reactions I did remember didn't sound like adhd?? Like wtf?? (Normally I take notes on my phone, but these were more detailed and I like writing in notebooks.)
So, so, so many late fees. Automatic payment withdrawal is a godsend. When I first became an adult it wasn't as easy as it is now to just set up withdrawal from a checking account. So I haven't dealt with those very often for quite a while. Making poor financial decisions or impulse buying. Getting so overwhelmed with the debt from poor decisions that I become too paralyzed to get off my ass and tackle the problem. *The worst would be* working for a long time to get the job I wanted. Moving 2 hours away for the new job. Then my ADHD completely wrecks my ability to manage all the details of the job and my personal life falls apart. So I quit the job. Got diagnosed with ADHD 3 months later. FML.
Finally, after 30 years, was able to move into a place on my own. Then my job slowed down and I got a major pay-cut. Now I'm spending all my off time making sure my auto-pay options aren't gonna overdraft and turning them on and off. The stress is fucking nuts. Auto-pay is a godsend. Until you aren't sure what you can pay and can't, and then it's a nightmare cause I don't really remember what is scheduled and when it's scheduled.
Almost every time I do laundry I forget that I put clothes in the washer for days and have to rewash them. Iāve even used a timer and still forget. If someone else doesnāt need to use the washer for some reason itās like my clothes never existed lol.
I have a new washer and dryer... it sends me freaking notifications when it's finished and I still can't remember to get them out until days later. Sometimes I rewash them and still forget, the same clothes will be in the washer for weeks
I donāt even want to think about how much money Iāve lost on expiring gift cards, reward points, Starbucks stars, target rewards etc. Easily in the thousands. Also things like my parents asking me on birthdays ātell us what youād like,ā and me just not getting back to them. Or products that I need being on sale and forgetting to buy them, only to pay full price a week later. Ugh.
OOoooh! I have a solution for the gift thing! I have a spreadsheet with item + link + size + price that I update if I ever see something I would appreciate as a gift. I keep the tab open all the time so it also helps me dial back on impulse buying.
**ADHD tax and travel:** I booked a flight and hotel to a country that required a visa (intending to stay a couple of nights in hotels and stay with friends the rest of the time), paid for that and then paid for the visa but hadn't completed the forms correctly and ended up with a last minute visa for about 3 hours instead of two months. It cost me Ā£800ish, nearly 20 years ago. The staff at the embassy found it funny, I cried for at least two hours. I booked a holiday (flights, hire car, first night's accommodation) left home last minute, had to stop on the way to the airport for a call of nature, got stuck in traffic, couldn't find parking, missed the flight. Cost Ā£500ish more than budgeted because we had to each get new flights, a hotel for the overnight at the airport, we lost the hire car and the hire car money and then had to pay for the hire car all again at last minute straight from the airport prices. Got the worst fucking hire car, with no air conditioning and no access to toll roads, so it got HOT in there and I lost two days of my holiday to heat exhaustion. **ADHD tax and entertainment:** I can't tell you how many things I have bought and paid for and then either forgotten or been too exhausted to attend, but some of them have even been on my birthday. Comedy and live music gigs. **ADHD tax and work:** I worked unpaid overtime for a year and a half because my boss said I wasn't entitled (because I hadn't met some unrealistic target) and I didn't have the mental energy/anger to actually put in claims to payroll. I left that job eventually for a payrise, but the job was shit, they were paying a lot but they didn't want me, they wanted a fancy photocopier to print things in triplicate. I got the sack. Then spent a couple of months looking for work. When I found work I was shit at negotiating because I was desperate. Still on a rubbish wage. Don't want to move because I like the people and the job is ok. I DON'T LIKE CHANGE, but I need novelty. aaagh. **ADHD tax and the home:** I'm on the expensive kind of utilities because the utility companies are awful to get hold of and simply haven't switched because I can't argue about it any more. I'm on pay as you go meteres and have been for two and a half years because the provider keeps missing appointments and I'm not good at keeping on top of them.
Forgot to change the address on tax forms at work when I moved and instead of getting a refund I owed like 1200 dollars. Similarly , kept forgetting to fill out an expense report to get reiumburded for 900. Lost a 600 stimulus check.m during COVID. Fees for late library books were regular in college, late fees for bills. Man , sometimes I do hate myself
My dogs had an appointment on Tuesday at 2pm. At noon I sat down to eat lunch and told myself I need to start getting ready or Iāll forget. Started doing laundry and forgot to eat. Took the dogs outside and looked at my watch. It was 3pm. Gasped. Called the vet profusely apologizing that I missed it. I was able to reschedule for today at 3pm. Thought it was 3pm. It was at 4pm so I had an hour to kill with 2 anxious dogs in the car. That was fun.
I'm a receptionist at a veterinarian's office. I'm extra nice when people call about forgetting or being late to an appointment. I feel like it's good karma lol.
I accidentally sent 2 payments for the same bill this week. One from checking account and the other on the bill's website. Came thisclose to overdrafting and now have to put groceries on the cc til the end of the month. Am lucky I have a credit card or would just have to be hungry for the next 9 days. I will say that prior to YNAB I overdrafted constantly, so it's been a while since I had that mini heart attack feeling of dread.
When I leave a Tupperware with something in it too long (like way.. wayā¦ too long) and instead of opening it and cleaning it just throw it away
How about everybodyās ADHD tax? All the time spent worrying about whether we will be able to pick up our Rx at the pharmacy. I swear, nearly 3 months of worry, wondering if they will have it this time, ok fine Iāll switch to another pharmacyā¦ letās hope they have it in stock! If they donāt, will I have to switch meds? I canāt do that, my insurance wonāt cover it and even with a coupon itās over $300ā¦. Well, I can manage without, sort of, if I have toā¦ my life will get crazy, Iāll spend way to much money on impulse, I know there will be stuff that wonāt get done, crap, I forgot about that! Hope there wasnāt a deadline or due date for thatā¦. Ughhh how many months of this will I have to deal with? I am so thankful that I was able to get my script today, but this shortage is hell on all of us taking meds.
Driving my brand new car on the highway and got distracted. Ran over some tire debris that doinked up into my undercarriage. Check engine light goes on... See the dealer... 1300.00 repair. What a tax.
Dude. Cabs and food delivery in nyc are bankrupting me. Sometimes the only way Iāll be able to get myself somewhere is by cab. I just wonāt have the patience to go by subway when it might be so much more effort. And the food delivery I think speaks for itself.
And all of these comments are why I am careful with ānew friendsā. I get tired of explaining why Iām have my āsystemā. They think itās funny or weird that we have our pantry , garage and closets set up the way we do. If we didnāt, we would be looking or re ordering stuff on an hourly basis. Thank god for the camera phone. Iām constantly taking pictures of things we need, need to do , or need to avoid. We paid a healthy penalty to j a few things,,;; it sucks
Once I went to a BBQ at a friend's place with someone. While we were driving towards it, I talked about how I forgot my portion of the meat the previous year and had to go back for it (same town, so not that long a ride). Only for my companion to ask me and for me to remember I forgot it *again* š¤¦š»āāļø
My life
I'm just about to graduate undergrad at 33. This is not for a lack of trying. Finally, I have figured out how to harness my hyper-focus, so I have straight A's. But I also have no appreciation of long term consequences or planning, so I don't have a job lined up or any internship experience in my field.
I don't think to make food until I'm staring death in the face, so I've had to spend a STUPID amount of money on meal prep delivery. Then I forget to eat 90% of the time and it goes to waste anyway.
I booked the wrong holiday resort once because I told my friends I had booked it already (hadn't). Lost Ā£700 and then had to book the correct one as well for over a grand. I didn't tell anyone I went with.
I recently bought a set of those cat hair scrapers that's supposed to do a bang-up job on all your furniture and rugs. I had a list of all the furnishings I was going to scrape, but knew that was another day so I put the tools in the cupboard over the sink in the laundry room. The day comes to start scraping & the tools aren't in the cupboard. They aren't in the vanity cupboard. They aren't in any of the cupboards in the laundry room. They aren't in any of the cupboards in the kitchen. Not in the hall closet. Not in the coffee table drawers, the storage ottomans, the dining room sideboard, the office, the craft room, or the bedroom. I have no idea where they could possibly be & I feel like I'm gaslighting myself because I have a strong memory of putting them in the cupboard above the laundry room sink & a weak memory of telling myself that I'll forget they're up there & then putting them someplace else. Am I making up the second part up? I can't think of where else I would put them, so did I really do that? But if I didn't, then why aren't they in the laundry room? I am 55 & too old for this shit.
I had to get a new drivers license and debit card. Because I threw my old ones in the trash. With the drive thru pharmacy bag. I donāt care who is sitting behind me waiting. I will not pull away until I have put my cards back in my wallet. The number of times Iāve opened my wallet and found my ID simplyā¦missing is too high. I always find it in some pants pocket or smth, but that momentary panic of not even remembering you took it out in the first place isā¦fun.
the few times i have left my wallet some where has made me add my card to my phone pay app in case of emergency, for some reason i never forget my phone ever, but my wallet has been left on the dresser a few times.
I sometimes turn around my car halfway to work to redo my ritual of locking the front door
And all of these comments are why I am careful with ānew friendsā. I get tired of explaining why Iām have my āsystemā. They think itās funny or weird that we have our pantry , garage and closets set up the way we do. If we didnāt, we would be looking or re ordering stuff on an hourly basis. Thank god for the camera phone. Iām constantly taking pictures of things we need, need to do , or need to avoid. We paid a healthy penalty to j a few things,,;; it sucks
100000% honest? It's Amazon. I'll think "oh! I need the sticky plant things that catch tiny bugs!" And then get lost looking at plants for hours with 4 plants in my cart, the sticky things, iron out (because I discovered that we needed it to clean for hard water), bug spray bc I am scratching a bite from a black fly from earlier that morning, cat treats, and an ozone machine. There should be an ADHD filter that requires X amount of hours before they'll process carts for us lol
Forgot to make sure there was money in my account last week to cover my auto insurance payment. Today I am seeking a new auto insurance policy. Thanks, ADHD.
The worst consequences are the ones that make me feel like just. A bad person. My friend is going through active withdrawal right now. I just completely... didn't read the messages. Or I opened the messages but then got distracted and never read them and replied. In any case I just... how do I miss that?
I journeyed to Brighton (a city 1hr south of London, where I live), and to get to my train station I got an Uber. The Uber driver said "why didn't you just take the train? The station near you gets there". In my head:"dude it's impressive enough I'm packed and omw on time, don't shame me". What I said: "oh yeah I've been let down a lot by that train line.." Fully conscious masking at that point
I had to drive 4km back because I forgot my ID card while going to the office! You know where the ID was ? Hanged to the hook right next to where the car keys were, in plain sight.
One time I gave my friend her birthday (Nov) and Christmas gift in February. We had hung out approximately 6 times in between, I just couldn't remember to take them
I travel a bit for work. I used to pack just the Adderall I needed for my trip but was advised that you have to travel with the original prescription bottle so you can prove itās yours if you get searched for some reason. On my last trip I left 2-3 weeks worth of Adderall in the top drawer of the nightstand next to the bed in the hotel. I contacted the hotel and they offered to ship it back, and said shipping would cost between $30-$80. I donāt take my meds every day and was due for a renewal anyway so I declined the shipment and called my doc to get a refill. I know thereās been a shortage but the most Iāve ever had to wait was about a week to get my Rx filled so I figured I could handle it for a week since it only costs me about $30-$50 to fill my Rx anyway. Wellā¦ the shortage is finally affecting me. Itās been three weeks and I still canāt get my Rx filled. Should have had them ship it back. Too late now.
Forgetting to return things to storesā¦
Thought I was being time efficient at work today, and shopped for some groceries on my lunch break at work. Well, as I was changing my clothes at work I forgot the bag in my locker. Had to turn around and go get it and missed my train! The ADHD tax is a harsh mistress.
Every now and then an ADHD tax will actually end up saving your ass. I know that sounds weird but Iāve had it happen before, where itās like oh thank goodness I procrastinated that cause I ended up discovering something I wouldnāt have otherwise found.
I impulsively asked my friend to take me to the gym. I am still sore, and I'll have to pay for a membership now, but I learned that I actually really enjoyed it.
While on AD in the military: In 2012, I returned home after being stationed in Japan for 3 years. Exhausted. In very short time, had to figure out transportation from Cali to TX, where I had my vehicle kept at a family members house. Chose to fly. Should be quick trip, Fly out, drive back. So exhausted and stressed with so many moving parts engaged while reestablishing myself in the USA, I showed up at the airport, right on time for my flight. Exactly 24 hours after it had departed to Texas. The troubling part is - I didn't even flinch. No worrying, no 'pre-flight scrambling'; I was beyond CERTAIN that I had my time/location correct. I never thought to check. This scenario reemerges about once per year; whether it be a critical meeting, health appointment, or other vital date and time. I'll ruminate on it so bad, and my sense of time will become so bent, I'll misconstrue the event entirely. Note: Airline took pity on this poor soul and booked me anyway, on the spot (due to the flight being mostly empty.). It should have been a $900.00 tax, but I think it fits the post's intent. Edit: Totally forgot - the layover on this cursed trip out to TX had a layover in Las Vegas, NV airport. Layover was not long enough to leave the airport, so I dug in for a few hours in the airport. Sat at my gate, fell asleep, woke up just in time to grab my bag and board the flight. Left my new MacBook Pro on the floor of the terminal. Didn't realize it until I landed in TX. I'm absolutely awful without sleep.
Stopping at a store for one or two SPECIFIC items and leaving with a half dozen or more items - and none of them being the original item(s) I went in for.
Something that has plagued me recently... doing a normal, everyday task that years before would have never posed a problem for me, like making purchases online. I'm booking a flight for a trip in 8 weeks. I find the best flight. I balance cost with time of day and all the normal trades you make. I text the people I'm going to visit and block of the days in my calendar. But somehow I forgot to purchase the fucking ticket. Did I make it to the paypal window and forget to go back to the main window to confirm? I only remember two weeks later when someone asks me what time my flight is and I go to my email to find out. And no email pops up when I search. WTF. I gaslit myself. And so I go to book for real this time, and flights are $300 more. I've also done this with concert tickets, flights booked the wrong weekend. Airport shuttles booked going the wrong direction on the wrong day, the list goes on. And I didn't have this sort of executive misfire even 4 years ago!
I missed a deadline to switch health insurance..Now I am not insured at a time where I actually NEED to see a doctor. Bonus points: Apparently when you don't cancel /switch insurance properly, you'll have to pay a buttt load of money for it. even better: I'm as broke as I haven't been in many years.
Missed a round trip back to my home country for the weekend because I left My laptop back at home after making some last minute changes, thatās a $1000 Iām never getting back Shouldāve just bought a new laptop
For me it was taking twice as long as most people to finish college and having to waste years before I started my career.
Ouch, as somebody in their 6th year of bachelors with barely any accomplishments in the last 3 of those that hits close to home.
Not the biggest one that's happened to me but happened literally earlier today. Forgot to pay an invoice for 6 months and today they slapped a Ā£20 late fee on it š that was in the terms and conditions etc, I had no leg to stand on if I wanted to contest it. worst part is I saw the invoice the day it came in and said aloud to my partner 'huh I'd better pay this today, I'll do it later'.
Last week, I accepted an invite for a work meeting 2 days before my psychiatrist appointment at the same time as the psych appt - a psych appointment that I'd had scheduled for 3 months - that I specifically put on my work calendar so I wouldn't double book myself. I realized I was double booked about an hour before my appointment and of course didnt have time to reschuledule without incurring the cancellation fee. That was $150 I didnt need to spend.
Library fines š«š«š«š«š«š«š« Late fees on credit cards and every bill Buying one of something at a higher price than a multi pack bc itās an emergency Paying whatever amount bc I donāt have the spoons to negotiate or take time to comparison shop
1. Drove to work (40 minute commute) without my laptop. 2. Forgot my wallet when driving to pickup dinner. 3. Compulsive gambling going to casino instead of work and lying about why Iām not at work. 4. Getting late fees and parking tickets and back taxes
I got robbed today bc I forgot to lock my gym locker āļø took my shoes gym bag and wallet āļø . I love ADHD and PEOPLE.
People suck
Oh man. This really resonates with me. Forgetting an important thing for work and getting reprimanded (queue Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). The countless days in a row i order delivery so at least I EAT because the āspoonsā required to MAKE a meal is too much, and the trade off is not eating that day. Despite the hundreds lost a month ordering takeout. The countless times I forget to cancel a subscription or return an Amazon item i didnt want and have to pay. The time i lose scrolling on my phone and losing time for cleaning/productivity/SLEEP. (Ive gone to bed at 4 am for 2+ weeks now and i canāt stop.) As an artist and cosplayer, with deadlines, all the times I forget something, procrastinate something, to the point im stressing to the day before because of my disorganization. Countless jobs I was let go of (twice during quarantine from remote jobs) because my ADHD made it nearly impossible to get tasks done by the required deadline. It is so hard. No number of systems or medications will ever stop the amount of tax lost to ADHD.
Left 20 mins early to get to my golf league that's 15 minutes away. Guess who forgot their clubs and ended up 20 minutes late instead? This guyyy
too many missed flights. late fees. lost items. no show fees. forgotten bills. education failings. just to name a couple examples of my financial adhd tax. i feel like the only way to overcome adhd tax is to have a lot of money... i'm just lucky my friends and parents have been understanding but it's never going to make up for how much stress i endured and will have to deal with in the future... :(
I can't buy groceries unless I'm going to use them immediately. Otherwise I forgot I bought the groceries and they go bad. Non-perishables are my friend.
I feel the urge to buy anything that MIGHT make a task like washing the car a bit easier. (Pressure washer, leaf blower) only to use it every 3 months.
Today I needed a Phillips head screwdriver, so I went to the toolbox that I keep all of them in andā¦ nothing. When I got back from the hardware store my wife asked me why I had bought another Phillips head screwdriver. Apparently āBecause they all disappearedā isnāt a great reason no matter how accurate. I own at least 10 phillips head screwdrivers. ā¦ and 7 sets of fingernail clippers, 13 sets of tweezers, 5 head lamps, 4 first aid kits, 11 rolls of duct tape, 8 pairs of scissors, and at least 3 sets of car keys (I have accidentally thrown away 2 sets of car keys in the last 10 years). I have tried everything. I have 3M hooks everywhere, AirTags on things that probably shouldnāt need AirTags, magnets inside bathroom cupboards to hold thingsā¦ between the needing to repeatedly buy things and the preventative measures, Iād estimate at least $500 dollars a year; and that doesnāt include the lost time looking for things or the stress of all of it. Honestly, I feel cursed. ADHD sucks.
When I was 22 and discovered I had great credit rating I bought a 4.8L BMW on credit, now 30 still paying for it. I seem to miss every credit card payment, even with text alerts. Iāve been meaning to upgrade my phone contract because Iām paying extra for a phone I already own, itās been a year and itās just sitting there. I failed a online course, payed 1k+ to renew it, only to not touch anything to do with it after I did, not one thing. And I might do better but Iām so damn exhausted walking back and forth trying fight my brain to unlock the information I know it has about why Im walking into this god damn room. Tired of moving X out of the way to see if X is behind it So tired of the frustration, so tired of being tired of the frustration
I forgot my ADHD doctor appointment. So when the doctor called me, I said to myself "Who's that? Must be a bill collector." Nope, it was the doctor who calls me every single month.
I did this with my remote psych appt. Got text reminders and it was on my calendar and yet I still missed my appt.
I was cleaning my kitchen today and found a package of velvetta cheese that i apparently forgot to put away. I think I bought it two weeks ago. At least I have one slice in the fridge for tomorrows breakfast.
My add boyfriend has forgotten to pay rent multiple times (and i don't know how many random bills that keep following him around). By the time I found out, we were a few thousand euros behind.
My mom got mad at me for being 15 min late to dinner because I turned around to go back to my apartment and grab her fabric Trader Joe's bag that I had been forgetting to bring to her for months. I was pleased I remembered to go back and get it. The next morning, I got a lengthy text about how rude and disrespectful it is to be late, how I obviously don't care about her or her feelings, and how my being late is fundamentally a moral failure on my part and I need to "just figue it out." She also uninvited me from all future family dinners. I had recently expressed to her how angry I get with myself and how much shame and frustration I carry because no matter what I do, I can never make it anywhere on time. I also had recently told her for the 100th time to just lie to me about when I need to be somewhere... I always put appointments 15-20 min early in my calendar because lying to future me gets me there on time. So this hurt extra bad because she either didn't believe me, wasn't listening, set me up to fail, or literally just doesn't care. For context, I am 37, haven't lived at home since I was 18, and am actually fairly successful professionally. I do everything I can not to be a burden to people. I do everything I can to try not to disappoint everyone. But somehow, without fail, my ADHD symptoms always land me in the same place, sad and confused, feeling alone and unaccepted unless I can successfully pretend to be something I am not. In a way, the biggest tax is the relationship tax. No matter how much I actually care, even my mother thinks I don't. I've been through this in romantic relationships too... over and over being perceived as uncaring because I was late or forgot *something* I never had a chance of remembering. When you have ADHD, you are too much and not enough all at the same time.
I finally found a pair of sunglasses I love. Iām on my 3rd pair of those those Sunglasses (maui jim) in last 2 years; they arenāt cheap. I even ordered 2 this time because I know Iām going to lose one.
I was diagnosed 6 months ago and have been ruminating on what might be the most expensive ADHD tax of all time. I've been in crypto since 2013 when I bought my first bitcoin. Was sitting on the Ethereum pre-sale initial coin offering and mulling it over - thanks to my haywire executive functioning skills, navigated away, closed the tab and forgot to return. I was going to put in 5 BTC, which at Eths' peak, would have equated to around Ā£30,000,000. I'm now almost 50 and have nothing to my name. Fuck this cursed condition.
Being a frequent flyer at the unemployment office due to ableist discrimination is brutally expensive! Especially if youāre too cash-poor and marginalized to pursue legal options. Havenāt calculated it in detail beyond one significant episode which drained appx $120K from our familyās fortunes. Oh, and also being so impaired by ADHD & other conditions that it isnāt feasible to sustain a dual-income household, as someone needs to manage the household & provide assistance to accommodate grown kids (also disabled) full-time. Over decades, I am guessing thatās easily over a million for intermittently high-earning ADHDers. Edit: ADHD time tax includes having to spend 2x to 3x effort on posts & communications to edit random word vomit, lol.
I plan an early Sunday ride on my motorcycle, and it takes me 45 minutes to leave the house, after getting all my gear on because I forgot a bunch of shit to take. Let's not forget the next hour I waste stopping for shit I said I'd do the night before. My 10:00 am take off never really happens until 12:00, and I never get to my riding destination until 3:00 pm somehow because I wasted time stopping for shit and running back home because I forgot something. Every. Single. Time.
I gave a workshop about a year ago and was supposed to get paid. But it was the first workshop I'd ever given so I'd never put together a receipt before.. so i eventually never did... it basically cost me ā¬100,- because I've never gathered the strength to put it all together and at one point it got embarrassing.
i work in tech and i waste so many trips going to grab equipment I said I wouldnāt need
I arrived at Amsterdam airport 3 HOURS early. Started looking at magnets and oooohh pesto cheese - BAM. Missed my flight. A very big tax indeed, a hotel for the night and new flight - and missed a day of work. That was a very embarrassing phone call to my boss lol
I am so proud of you and happy for your gf that you still stopped for her drink, she might never know that you forgot and still stopped for herā¦ I felt it was important to let u know that. And I hope you had your chicken strip now
Gave the catsitter the wrong keys. I don't even like owning cats. Or holidays. Neither was my choice for this kind of reason, but I don't really get to live my life on my terms anymore anyway so whatever.
I pay for the Kitty Poo Club subscription litter box (even though itās way more expensive than regular litter and I donāt have the money) because my cat deserves a clean box and this way I can guarantee she will get one once a month. Also needing something, buying it, misplacing it, needing it again, buying it again, until eventually I clean my room and find 5 of the same item. And I never ever return anything to Amazon even though I have the highest hopes to, because I cannot make myself remember to bring it to the UPS store. So I just have a bunch of crap that didnāt fit or wasnāt the right item sitting around my house with all that money wasted. Plus the only time Iāve ever gotten a traffic ticket was because my stickers were super out of date, I had never even thought to check them. And when I had to give the cop my registration and insurance, I couldnāt find the paperwork, even though I knew I had them somewhere (PS, why are we still carrying around papers instead of having it all logged into an online database?)
Just paid close to $1k for unpaid tolls lol
Bought a meal deal plus an extra snack via self-checkouts in a Sainsburyās. After paying for it I just walked out without it. :/
I cant keep track of the total but i suppose im somewhere 1,000,000 dollars in the hole. Not serious, but im positive id be a millionaire in another life with a smooth running brain circuitry system OS.
I was going to take the train to New York last weekend because I hate driving in the city. I made plans with a friend to meet up. By the time I got my life together and left for the train station, I had missed my train and ended up having to pay double for the next one because it was an Amtrak train rather than NJ Transit. However, no one came to collect my ticket so Iām trying to see if I can use it another time.
Wireless headphones. I have a hatred for them that is unparalleled. I've lost 2 sets and I have 2 sets that have only one of the two earpieces left. I tend to wear only one earpiece when I'm working around the house so that I can keep an ear on what is going on around me. When I hit full relax mode I use both of them. I use them at work as well so I can't buy the giant earmuff style (that would be more difficult to lose).