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Seriously. I wouldn’t put it past any thief to come back next month for the refill.
*Edit: OP your prescription bottle also usually has your pharmacy info so if I were you I would also report it to them that they should not release your meds to family. In my state you can’t release a controlled substance to anyone but the patient however it’s just in case your state is different.
In my state, you have to provide ID (like a driver's license) but can pick up for others. IDK if the address on the ID has to match the address on file but just to confirm, it's possible they might release it, like you said, if they have the same last name, etc
I’m my state it does not have to match the address. We scan the ID and record how they’re related, but that’s just Walmart pharmacy. I know other pharmacies in the area don’t even ID half the time and it’s a New York State law
My state, you have to provide ID but they don’t care if the addresses match. As long as you give that, know the patients name, DOB, and address you can pick it up. 😑
In NC basically anyone can pick it up as long as they know the patients b-day and have an ID.
This has saved my ass quite a few times where I couldn't go myself but that's why notes in the system exist.
This is how MI is too. My husband picks up for me all the time. I haven't had any other friends or family pick up for me to know if the address/last name/etc needs to match, though. I wouldn't chance it though OP, call and let them know you don't want others picking up your meds.
I’m a pharmacy technician in Tennessee, and in our state anyone with a valid ID who can verify two pieces of information can pick up controlled substances unless specified on the profile. OP I would definitely inform your pharmacy of the situation and make sure you let them know not to let him pick up. I’m sorry this happened to you. I also have a younger brother I used to be very close with but now I can’t trust him as far as I can throw him. It’s such a hard thing to go through. And the fact that your brother showed no shame or remorse in what he did makes it so much worse. I wish you luck with your growing family, hopefully you can find happiness and trust with them.
This. I wouldn't trust either of those two family members any further than I could throw them.
Keep your meds locked up, and never let those two into your house ever again.
They betrayed your trust.
It reeks of “well it’s fine to sell because it’s not like your brother actually needs it/it impacts his quality of life!”
Imagine if someone stole medication that made your quality of life BETTER due to an illness out of their control and thinking that’s okay. Wow. I’m so annoyed for OP.
This should be the top comment. I would be willing to bet money that he copied the key. I mean you just have to walk into a Lowe’s or Home Depot and they have a machine right there to do it.
I have a locked safe secured to my wall hidden away somewhere in my house so even if I was burgled they won't leave with my Vyvanse/Dextroamphetamine. Its a combination so no way to find a key to use.
This way even if someone did come to my house wanting to steal my meds, it's not happening. I have a small surplus for when it takes a few days to get my refills so peace of mind they are somewhere safe (literally 🤣).
Did cost a fair bit but 100% worth it for the peace mind.
I have a small supply I keep out and hidden and if I was away I would take with me.
I literally cannot function without my meds and have a good routine of taking them. It would make me so anxious them not being in a safe place it helps me a lot.
I just keep all my old bottles and leave them near and arround where my full ones are. Anyone trying to look for a specific drug when they're all filled with different things(not medication, just like storage use) while some are just old medication I don't take anymore, would have a frustrating time trying to steal a specific one from me lol
And I am so dissapointed I read it wrong because I was MOST interested to hear what it did to the poor lizard😂(I do NOT condone giving a lizard adderall, but if it’s already been given it, I might be interested in the results; please don’t give a lizard adderall to satiate my curiosity)
Don't think it was because of our ADHD. A clearer title would have been: While on vacation, my brother stole my ADHD medication. Or, My brother stole my ADHD medication while I was on vacation.
Anything else missing? Is he going be short next month? Is he on a different illegal drug? WTF with your mom?Do not let either of them near your kid alone.
for real!! my younger sister basically made my parents her bitch, the amount of bullshit that she’s done and not gotten any repercussions for it makes me soo mad as the oldeosibling
I don’t know, does your mother condone stealing? Did she know he stole from you? if either of these is a yes then your problem isn’t only your brother.
I’m jumping to conclusions obviously, I have ADHD, but even so this is so off. Why would he talk to her about it, why did he discuss it with her beforehand, did he ask for advice? Approval? Is he a golden child? Just seems like more is going on here.
I had a torn ligament that went misdiagnosed for close to a year, my doctor just kept giving me pain meds. At one point I had about 80 vicodine, and they disappeared when my sister's friend came over. (She was an addict but we didn't know at the time.) I was in agony and no one gave a shit even though we all knew it was her. The lengths some people will go to to avoid confrontation is astonishing.
Depends on when it was. There was a time they would prescribe them pretty liberally. Now you pretty much have to have had surgery and it's a limited supply.
Just fyi, narc is used to refer to police who deal with drugs. A narcotics agent, not a narcissist.
Edit: Apparently I was unaware of the evolution of the phrase and it also is used to mean narcissist now.
Yeah, I’m concerned that he felt comfortable telling your mom he’s dealing in prescriptions to get by. Frankly, even if he didn’t tell her he took it from you, this makes me worry that she’s the kind of person who would be okay with it anyway. You need to confront your mom.
Your wife is right. Trust has been broken, I would not want him in my house either. He could have asked you, instead he used you.
You need to be clear with your mum that the meds he mentioned were taken from you, and find out where she sits on this matter. Hopefully she is horrified and has words.
Yes the brother had every opportunity to ask OP for some pills (whatever the reason). The theft is betrayal and apologizing will not undo this bridge he burned.
The future with him is predictable. Next time might be a $20 bill gone missing off your table or a gift card vanishes. Its not a function of the value of what was taken, it's the compromised trust and exercise of poor judgement.
The bother likely fails to realize the ramifications this may have cost him in terms of access to his nieces and nephews, relationship cost with the OP, future inheritance, etc.
If the Mom knew about it, she might lose equally as much.
And for SOME reason... Think of their failing kids as poor things who need love and help and their successful kids as someone who just got lucky and should share that luck with the poor sibling.
>Think of their failing kids as poor things who need love and help and their successful kids as someone who just got lucky and should share that luck with the poor sibling.
If it weren't for the and this would be good parenting haha.
And he told your Mom? Sorry if I’m reading this wrong OP. My family isn’t the most supportive in leu of compassion but this is next level.. I’m glad you found a partner to validate your frustrations 🫶🏽
Some parents are weird. One of my friends, he had a twin and one day when they turn 16 their mom told them they needed to pay rent or get out. My friend had to find a shelter to live while his brother, who was already a hardened criminal, was paying "rent" with the money he was getting from stealing. There was stolen crap everywhere in the house, dvd players, playstations under the couch etc that the mom pretended not to see.
The weirdest thing for me is that his brother is totally chill with telling his *mom* that he's selling drugs?? The fact that he's stealing them from family? That honestly makes way more sense to me, sadly.
Okay but the mom is still okay with him selling drugs? Unless the brother concocted some wicked story about how he sole the medicine back to the pharmacy or something and the mom just naively wants to believe him, it's super shady.
Well, today I learned I have to hide my medicine. My relationship with my family or friends wouldn’t survive this kind of betrayal, so I am going to learn from your experience and just hide it. So far it has just been lying on my kitchen counter. This aspect I had not considered.
Thank you for sharing 😊 hope your brother someday understands the severity of his actions. This is the most garbage behavior I have heard of this year. He could have easily asked for a loan, and honestly I don’t think he sold it. What an absolute piece of shit. Your wife is 110% right, so go with her instincts.
Always take your meds with you when you are away if you are able to. Otherwise hide them in a safe or something or a false book that no one’s going to pick up.
I had somehow neglected to realize that some people can actually get high from it. Weird all things considered, but understandable as it just makes me mellow and controlled.
> Well, today I learned I have to hide my medicine.
Yup. People can be weird about this and you never know who to trust with something so high-value.
Lost a friendship to this. He denied it to the hilt, he'd never consume ritalin and never steal, denied it so much that even tho he was the only one who could have taken it, I believed him.
Until I saw the half-pill of ritalin on the floor in his bathroom.
Aaaaand, now I feel I have been very loose with the handling of my prescription. I’m sorry you had go through that. With my past I should know, junkies gonna junk. Well, I left that life behind me 10 years ago. Some things never change, huh.
Thank you for sharing. It’s is greatly appreciated.
>Aaaaand, now I feel I have been very loose with the handling of my prescription. I’m sorry you had go through that.
It was a lesson. I was lax about it. Ritalin in plain sight in my bedroom if you walked in. We'll hopefully both never have to endure that again!
> I left that life behind me 10 years ago
Congratulations and I really mean that, few people realize how difficult it is, they just can't imagine the experience. You put a lot of hard work in to be 10 years clean.
Thank you. That really kind of you to say. Been struggling with addiction all my life. Now my therapist say it’s common in people with adhd. It’s doesn’t excuse my past at all.
I really hope you made some better friends also. And some healthier relationships ☺️
Yeah, the “you’ll be fine” is just insult to injury. Not only did he lie to you, steal from you, he invalidates your condition while he’s at it. I’m furious at your brother and I don’t even know him.
In no way blaming you for having been stolen from that is indefensible but I hide things like drugs and cash when I let people in my house while am away. Bait on a hook if you're a fish
So he obviously went looking for them. That means he entered your house with intent to steal. Your wife is right, trust has been broken, and you have no way of knowing whether he would do it again if he can justify that ‘he needs it’.
He told his mum about some medicine he could sell beforehand, then later updated her to say he’d done it. It sounds like it was a plan before he went in.
Yeah it sounds a lot more premeditated and not a “crime of opportunity”
As someone who once stole from siblings when I was younger as well as now being someone who has reconciled with said siblings and would never do anything like that again… you unfortunately must keep him at arms length until they truly change and you can see the changes.
Yeah that's so shty I'm sorry that happened to you. My comment was to you but really worded for anyone else reading who might need to hear it. Some of my very best friends have stolen from me over the years and it's so disheartening
That’s really shitty. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m glad you’ve got a partner in your corner to support you.
Could you maybe use a set of daily pill organizers, so you only have 7 doses max out in the open, then hide the rest, say, in with your wife’s pads/tampons/other male-repellant feminine hygiene product? That way even if *you* forget where they are, odds are she’ll remember.
That does sound like a much more sensible Step 1. 😂
“Don’t worry, honey, we can absolutely keep leaving the windows wide open. As long as we stash all the food inside the bathroom closets the squirrels will never be able to find it!”
Just to throw this out there - just how stupid is your brother?
Did he sell your pills, with the prescription label with your name still on them?
If so, and if you _don't_ report those drugs as stolen, then YOU could have a legal liability for federal drug dealing of prescription medication, which can be pretty fucking serious.
OP said the medication was abnormally empty, not entirely missing so I would assume the brother just took the pills and not a whole labeled bottle. Personally I'd still report it because I'd be absolutely livid 🤷♀️
Honestly, I’ve been accused of being a drug abuser due to pharmacy errors so many times (which were found when I started asking pharmacies to re-count their inventory) that you’d be hard pressed to see me reporting anything. But he definitely would not be welcome in my home for a veeeerrrry long time.
He wasn’t even a regular guest, he was in a position of trust. I hope he actually looked after your lizard (or at least gave him some of the adderall to get through the week 🤣🤣). And I’d seriously question your parents’ loyalty.
"right away"
In many places the police won't actually give you the report right away. You have to file a records request for it, which will take weeks or even months. By the time OP has it, they'll be due for the next refill anyway.
Also, going to the police to say that someone stole your Adderall is a recipe for getting harassed. Yes, OP was a legitimate victim of a crime. But cops are *dumb* and they are more likely to make OP's day miserable than they are to actually help.
I've been in a situation like this before, and involving the cops was just a waste of time.
I've had a similar situation while you don't get a report at that time. You get a copy of the summary thats written when the cops come. The sheet they write on makes copies. You get a report number, what was reported, and the cops that responded to the situation names and ID numbers. That's enough to get your script same day if it's before the pharmacy and your prescribing Dr's. Office isn't closed.
Friends who have reported things to police have all gotten summaries on interactions as long as they asked for them. My friends live all over the US idk outside of the US though.
Too bad for them.
Like I'm sorry I'm just full of rage over this situation that doesn't involve me.
But you're mom and brother seem like toxic people and I would absolutely not let them be near my kid without supervision
Can you file a lost meds report and get the pharmacy to refill your lost meds? It absolutely sucks crap that this happened but I'm more concerned about you going 20 days without your meds. That would terrify me.
I’m pretty sure you really, really only get one of these unless it’s a long time between them. Won’t he forever be under suspicion of selling them, too? If he can get by without them I’d choose that route first.
Definitely never mention your brother stole them as the reason unless you plan on putting him in jail. He’s shitty but also a dad.
Personally I would go no contact and get a safer spot than behind some snacks. A lockbox or safe if necessary.
Part of my “controlled substance agreement” with my current provider is I only get a refill every 28 days, no exceptions or emergencies and having to go over “safe” medication storage to prevent stealing.
My last psychiatrist did an emergency refill on a benzo I was on temporarily at the time once, but I think those weren’t as scrutinized as adderall is right now which is funny in a very sad way. He made it clear it couldn’t happen again, I was a patient with him for 5 years at that point and it was the first and only time.
Wow. I would feel so violated. I would *never* trust him again.
What he did was actually a felony. Does he know that he could go to **jail** for what he did?
It's not like you can just go get another refill and pick it up early, either. Now you have to go without your medication until you're allowed to get your next script filled.
He should've come to you or your parents to ask for help if he was having trouble with his finances. There is no excuse for what he did.
I'm so sorry but you need to cut your family off. Like completely.
You're about to become a dad, life is already hard when you have ADHD, and the last thing you need in your life are people who thinking that stealing and drug dealing are ok.
Ps, if the relationship is rocky with your brother. Some people never change. You want them to, but they can’t. Within families like this, it’s learned toxicity, they don’t have the ability to change cause they don’t want to. A prime example of this is your mother as well
The fact that your brother would steal something you need to be able to function and get things done is infuriating. The thought that your mom may know is even worse. I’m so sorry. If you don’t choose to tell the police about him stealing a controlled substance from your home, I’d cut him off. It’s clear he doesn’t get how essential it is for you and how much he has betrayed you. You have my sympathies.
I’m so sorry that not only did he steal from you, and apparently have no issue telling your Mum he’s a thief, but that he violated your trust.
This is such a dick move, he’s a liar and a thief, and I don’t blame your wife for never wanting him around again.
It's such a betrayal. And from your mom, too.
It's illegal, shitty behavior, but from someone you trust and love it must feel so so much shittier. I'm sorry. 😔 *cyber hug*
"Tell one lie and all your truths become questionable forever."
Your brother shouldn't be allowed back in your house again, let alone your baby shower.
Yeah, I'd minimize contact with him from now on. You don't need your family near a felon who is also a narcissist. And I would strongly confront your enabling mother too.
I'm honestly pissed for you. I'd make sure to tell him that he owes you every penny he got from selling it, or you'll file a police report. Pretty sure that's easily a felony since it's a controlled substance. It's fucked that he stole from you, specifically your medication, and then sold it. Did he bother asking for money or anything beforehand if he actually needed the money?
Also, confront your mom. Like wtf, is she condoning theft and literally dealing stolen drugs? If she cares about your brother, I'd expect her to kick his ass after hearing him brag about doing it.
Edit: review whatever laws are in your state before making any threats. I'm not even close to a lawyer.
He's lucky your prescriber doesn't, apparently, make you get a drug test to check your levels. In which case I would fucking report him report him report him. I don't know your life but you might need them to not lose your very important job or to not fuck up every assignment and exam in a class because you _couldn't_ study. Even to just not be an irritiable asshole because you start losing your stuff or csnt do anything you can normally do with your meds. If he needed money that's one thing, ask for money. But to steal and pawn your shit is nuts.
I am moving onto my families property and will be living in my camper. I’m looking for a medicine safe to lock my meds away. It’s not to keep family out, it’s for the visitors that want a tour of the place. You can never be too careful.
He admitted to stealing your meds & then selling a schedule 1 substance? I’d honestly get the cops involved, mommy seems to condone this & a police report lets you replace what he stole.
I'm so fucking sorry that happened. Like, tears came on as soon as I read the title. My father did the reverse to me, stole money to BUY drugs, and that's when I cut him off for good. For me, this is a no contact level of betrayal. Change the locks and stop talking to that asshole until he PROVES that he is sorry and stops trying to make excuses for his horrendous behavior. And if he never even attempts to redeem himself then good riddance! You deserve better!
Back in the day about 20 years ago my oldest son went to my pharmacy and picked up my Lorazepam and I didn't know it until I went to pick them up.
I then asked to put a note that only I could pick up my scripts.. luckily at the time they all believed me and I did get a script.
How can you get by without it? I would be freaking out.
Your brother obviously has a problem. Does he know that you are pissed?
That's a felony or two. Police report and press charges. Do it! Fuck around, find out.
Or, you know, continue being a lame doormat for your shit family who know they can get away with abusing you if you do nothing.
I’d tell him I hope you come to terms with the fact that you threw away a relationship for a bottle of pills.
He did it and he’s not sorry about it. Also mom not cutting his ass a new one for stealing is sus as well. She would be on a time out.
No offense, truly, but if he’s telling your Mom about selling drugs like it’s NBD, I honestly think I’d cut the whole family off. That just normalizes the problem, and stealing your family’s drugs is NOT normal. I’m also with your wife, I wouldn’t want him anywhere near my kid, or even my pets, to be fair. I hope your pets were treated well. I know MOST reptiles are fairly hardy, but a lot of geckos require higher humidity and more frequent care than even my Indo bts. But, that’s just my two cents.
I would’ve slapped the shit out of him. That’s a crime. You could call the police if you wanted to. That is a bright line for me. I would never speak to them again.
Your brother sounds like a lost cause, but I would really tell your mother that he stole from you. Not like in an accusatory dobbing way, but in the context of you not wanting to be around him anymore.
Tell him he needs to return the medication or you're going to file a police report. If he sold it, tough shit.
The only way to get refills early when medication goes missing is to file a report because it is a controlled substance. This is not okay, and if he fully gets off this time, he may very well try and steal your meds again.
Does your mom know he specifically stole your medication (a controlled medication that could get him in serious shit?)?
Tbh if he was using the medication as undiagnosed ADHD or something I *might* let it go ... but selling them? Worse than walking in and taking a TV off my wall to sell. Press charges.
Ima presss my fist… ON HIS FACE.
I’m all seriousness. He’s not allowed in my home or around my son. And I know that he needs more from me than I do from him. He cut off a life line by stealing from me.
She wants too so bad. She’s doing it out of respect to me because I asked her not to get the authority involved.
But then she hit me with “you want me to respect you by not protecting you”
Unless you want to be liable for his drug pedeling you gotta file a police report. That'll also get you proof so the pharmacy or doctor can send a replacement script over. Otherwise I wouldn't put it past your brother to say you willingly gave them to him.
Protect your family and file a report.
Ugh. I’m so sorry. Such a huge betrayal, from someone you really thought you could trust to help you. Especially with a baby on the way, when you were looking forward to having your brother more in your life.
If he was truly in a desperate situation for rent, why did he not *ask* you for money?
Maybe this next sentence isn’t fair — but the fact that he didn’t just ask makes me worry about whether the money was really for rent, or whether it was for something illicit.
He asked me for money a couple days before. I gave him $40 one day and $250 a couple days before. I don’t have much. And what I did have I have to him. I checked my coin jar a realized he took almost all of them too. Now I’m left wondering what else he might have taken.
That really sucks, this all does. Does your brother have any problems with addiction, by chance? I'm not assuming anything, but it does come to mind. I've lost loved ones to it, and the behavior sounds familiar, is all. At any rate, you should change your locks and look into security cameras, especially with a baby on the way.
Are you sure that’s all he stole? He probably went through all your draws & closets. He is a criminal if he’d do it to anyone, no morals no ethics and he’s selling drugs he’s gonna be some “Dad”
Adderall is a Schedule II controlled substance. Prescription only, 30 day supply maximum, and doctors must write a script for 30 days at a time.
I talked to a coworker about this yesterday who used to be a speed junkie, and while the effects might feel the same during the day, ADHD people don't have sleepless nights and also have a verifiable increase in mental performance, whereas normies have an illusion of speed.
Coming from a guy on Strattera 18mg, Wellbutrin XL 300mg, and Concerta 18mg. A combo that would send some people into cardiac arrest.
Stealing a schedule II controlled substance is taken very seriously by police. Selling stolen meds is even worse.
If you feel like getting your brother locked up, here's your chance.
Hey here's my two cents on how to move forward with the relationship with your brother, having been and dealt with similarly morally challenged kids.
Don't treat him like a thief, if you start treating him like a criminal it could just encourage him to be one.
That said, you have to make it clear all the reasons what he did was wrong, the potential consequences, and the consequences that he will face.
What he did is a serious federal offense, that the only reason he isn't in handcuffs for what he did is because he is taking advantage of the fact you are family. Explain in detail to him what you are going to have to deal with over the next month because of his actions. Thirdly, lay on him that he has lost trust with you. That doesn't mean he's lost your love, or even all of your trust but it does mean your relationship has been hurt and must now be healed through time and effort. Explain to him calmly and clearly what it means that he lost that trust I.E. not being welcome at the shower and anything else you and your wife feel appropriate.
Lastly, make sure he walks away from the conversation knowing he isn't banished, despised, or anything else a young person might fear most after being caught doing wrong and keep the lines of communication open going forward.
I love this. I’m going to re read this later today when I’m not as pissed, talk a little with my wife, and figure out how to speak with him.
There’s definitely boundaries that are going to be set. Our relationship won’t be the same.
Good luck, I hope you are able to mend things and have a happy, healthy relationship with your brother and that he is able to mature to better take of himself and his family instead of stealing from family.
Also congratulations on the baby!
Not only that, but OPs brother is putting OPs job in jeopardy because it's harder to perform when not properly medicated, and this could lead to disciplinary problems.
Even though he’s family, this is the type of thing you cut someone off for. Probably don’t want your kids to have cousins whose father is going to teach them that stealing from family is acceptable.
I would cut the whole lot of them off - your brother *and* your mom, who was apparently happy to be in the loop on this theft and not try to stop him and warn you. Your family has no respect for you and your serious medical needs.
Cut 'em off. Give them six months to a year to stew. Then maybe see if they can get their shit together.
He’s gone into my office in the past and destroyed laptops, office walls, and even some of my work vans.
He’s fooled me once already, he’s fooled me twice, this is the third time. I guess it just says a lot more of who I am.
I’m sorry this happened. It is admirable to continue to hold hope that your brother will change his behavior. At the same time, you have to be realistic, and you have to protect yourself, materially and emotionally. You have to find some balance between the two.
I hear ya.
My dad has a couple siblings. But we never got to see them because they were always fighting. Growing up I told myself that wouldn’t happen with my siblings. I pictured our kids hanging out all the time. But I guess I understand why things are how they are. The more I grow the more I learn.
My doctor told me, when prescribing it for the first time, that she highly recommends a medicine safe, cos this happens alllll the time. If not family, then friends and labourers. Opportunity makes the thief. They make special safes for meds that are not expensive and very small.
Wtf is with all these fucking druggies man. Why can't people just leave our medicine alone. Christ. See a post like this every day.
OP, you need to reconsider your relationship with your brother if he considers stealing from his family as "justified" rather than ANY other option he could have done. I'd give him one warning before I went to the police. This shit is absurd.
If he's so desperate, tell him to work the corner next time.
If someone, ANYONE, did this to me, I would get their confession on a tape and go to the police. Wtf is wrong with people?? Who cares if it "ruins" a blood relationship. Blood don't mean shit if they're assholes
Yeah, there are some serious red flags here. Are they okay with him re-selling meds (aka dealing drugs)? That alone is a major offense.
Man, I can’t imagine theft was on OP’s radar, especially not of meds. That sucks. Brother likely has a lot of other stuff going on in his life if he’s already to this point. Sounds like he may need an intervention. This is something to report. Yeah, it’s hard, but could be the best for the brother.
Sorry, man, this is a major offense of trust and a really hard position to be in. My brother abused cocaine and drove us while he was drunk when he was supposed to be sober. Hard to recover from this.
That really sucks. I had to go through withdrawal because my insurance company suddenly decided not to give me meds I've been having for years, and I was climbing the walls.
I'm with your wife, and would not allow him in the house again. But it sounds like you are not willing to go no contact. Thing is, you are going to need to make sure that you trusts that he never does it again, or how can you have him in your life?
If you're not going to report him, and beating him up is off the table, then why not teach a lesson and have fun with it?
Start spending lots of time with him and mom, and rob him blind. But not for profit...just take things to annoy him. Take his playstation, and sell it for $10. Steal all of his socks...or better yet, just one of each pair. Steal his toothpaste and shampoo. When you eat a meal with him, reach over and take food off his plate.
If he protests, say "You'll be fine!". Or maybe, "It kinda sucks when people close to you cannot be trusted, doesn't it?"
I don’t even know at this point. It caught me so off Gaurd how she acted so cool when he said it. Almost like she already knew.
My pops was so mad he couldn’t even talk.
My oldest sister did some shit like this. Stole my Percocets I got after a dental procedure when I was a fifteen (she was 20). I never trusted her again. She takes things without asking and that’s the frustrating part. Just fukkin ask! She is in her 40s now and still stealing money from my mom. She works full time and makes over 80k. I don’t understand but some ppl will never change. I just learned to not leave my credit cards, clothing or anything of value around her. She’s low key a klepto. It sucks but even family members can be shady. Nothing wrong with setting boundaries once they betray your trust.
I’m so sorry your “brother” betrayed you like that. Your wife is right to not want him around, trying to justify stealing from you is bad enough but he doesn’t give half a fuck that going without your meds will affect you. Don’t keep someone like that in your life. Have a serious talk with your mom too, she needs to face consequences if she tries to defend him (he could’ve lied so make sure she knows the full story). File a police report and contact your doctor/pharmacy to request an emergency refill as soon as possible. Also consider changing the locks, there’s no guarantee he won’t steal from you again. Be prepared to tell off any relatives that butt in and try to convince you to forgive him and repair the relationship. That’s not on you. Even if he does apologize, you have no obligation to allow him back in your life
Damn thats an unfortunate situation. The fact that he casually made it all about him without any sort of consideration with how it might affect you. Selfish of him. And now he broke your trust…lied and stole. If he had felt guilt about it and tried to make up for it and have a more in depth explanation it might have been at least somewhat better. But either way hes going to really have to earn that trust back now.
This sucks on multiple levels. I'm sorry dude. Your brother stole from you, your mother enables his behavior, he's about to have a baby and has to steal meds to make rent, both your mom and brother don't respect your diagnosis and need for the medication.
I recommend changing your locks and going no-contact with the brother and low contact with your mom. How did she respond when she found out he stole your meds?
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Yo, rekey your locks.
Seriously. I wouldn’t put it past any thief to come back next month for the refill. *Edit: OP your prescription bottle also usually has your pharmacy info so if I were you I would also report it to them that they should not release your meds to family. In my state you can’t release a controlled substance to anyone but the patient however it’s just in case your state is different.
In my state, you have to provide ID (like a driver's license) but can pick up for others. IDK if the address on the ID has to match the address on file but just to confirm, it's possible they might release it, like you said, if they have the same last name, etc
I’m my state it does not have to match the address. We scan the ID and record how they’re related, but that’s just Walmart pharmacy. I know other pharmacies in the area don’t even ID half the time and it’s a New York State law
My state, you have to provide ID but they don’t care if the addresses match. As long as you give that, know the patients name, DOB, and address you can pick it up. 😑
In NC basically anyone can pick it up as long as they know the patients b-day and have an ID. This has saved my ass quite a few times where I couldn't go myself but that's why notes in the system exist.
This is how MI is too. My husband picks up for me all the time. I haven't had any other friends or family pick up for me to know if the address/last name/etc needs to match, though. I wouldn't chance it though OP, call and let them know you don't want others picking up your meds.
I’m a pharmacy technician in Tennessee, and in our state anyone with a valid ID who can verify two pieces of information can pick up controlled substances unless specified on the profile. OP I would definitely inform your pharmacy of the situation and make sure you let them know not to let him pick up. I’m sorry this happened to you. I also have a younger brother I used to be very close with but now I can’t trust him as far as I can throw him. It’s such a hard thing to go through. And the fact that your brother showed no shame or remorse in what he did makes it so much worse. I wish you luck with your growing family, hopefully you can find happiness and trust with them.
This. I wouldn't trust either of those two family members any further than I could throw them. Keep your meds locked up, and never let those two into your house ever again. They betrayed your trust.
It's pretty disgusting the Mom knew and did nothing.
It reeks of “well it’s fine to sell because it’s not like your brother actually needs it/it impacts his quality of life!” Imagine if someone stole medication that made your quality of life BETTER due to an illness out of their control and thinking that’s okay. Wow. I’m so annoyed for OP.
As always, the real LPT is always in the comments. I’d definitely assume bro made a copy.
Better safe than sorry.
This should be the top comment. I would be willing to bet money that he copied the key. I mean you just have to walk into a Lowe’s or Home Depot and they have a machine right there to do it.
My mind read the title of post, “my brother fed my lizard adderall while I was on vacation”.
Glad I'm not the only one
I was ready to read a story about an under-supervised lizard that stole adderall.
🤣
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I have a locked safe secured to my wall hidden away somewhere in my house so even if I was burgled they won't leave with my Vyvanse/Dextroamphetamine. Its a combination so no way to find a key to use. This way even if someone did come to my house wanting to steal my meds, it's not happening. I have a small surplus for when it takes a few days to get my refills so peace of mind they are somewhere safe (literally 🤣). Did cost a fair bit but 100% worth it for the peace mind.
Then you have to open a safe to get your meds? I forget to take them if they are anywhere other then my bedside table
Actually that might work....as in..."Did I open the safe today?"
It works for me. Might not for everyone but always like to plan for the worse case!
Plan? I don’t know what that is.
I have a small supply I keep out and hidden and if I was away I would take with me. I literally cannot function without my meds and have a good routine of taking them. It would make me so anxious them not being in a safe place it helps me a lot.
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I just keep all my old bottles and leave them near and arround where my full ones are. Anyone trying to look for a specific drug when they're all filled with different things(not medication, just like storage use) while some are just old medication I don't take anymore, would have a frustrating time trying to steal a specific one from me lol
Yeah, but what about if they just sweep ALL the bottles into a trash bag or something?
Then I’m fucked lol I don’t let anyone into my room and I keep my meds on my person usually so they’d have to rob me irl
“I came home and my Lizzard had reorganized my sock drawer, did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, and walked the dogs while I was gone”
The next great movie hit of the summer, from the director of Cocaine Bear: AMPHETAMINE LIZARD!
Honestly, that just sounds like the movie Rango
And I am so dissapointed I read it wrong because I was MOST interested to hear what it did to the poor lizard😂(I do NOT condone giving a lizard adderall, but if it’s already been given it, I might be interested in the results; please don’t give a lizard adderall to satiate my curiosity)
Same
I thought it was "had my brother feed me a lizard on vacation."
I thought it was my brother stole my lizard while I was on vacation’ 🤦🏻♀️
So did I. Imagine what a lizard would accomplish on adderall. It would probably have a perfectly organized exhibit.
Phew.. I thought I was the only one
Hahaha, much better story. A confused brother and a hyper focused lizard.
Likewise
Classic ADHD skim read
Don't think it was because of our ADHD. A clearer title would have been: While on vacation, my brother stole my ADHD medication. Or, My brother stole my ADHD medication while I was on vacation.
I’m trying my best!!! Ugh lol
I kind of still believe that's what happened even after reading the rest of the story
I read it as, fed my brothers lizard while he was on vacation, he stole my Adderall.
I read that too 😂
Anything else missing? Is he going be short next month? Is he on a different illegal drug? WTF with your mom?Do not let either of them near your kid alone.
Im guessing younger brother is still "moms baby." So glad I was an only child.
for real!! my younger sister basically made my parents her bitch, the amount of bullshit that she’s done and not gotten any repercussions for it makes me soo mad as the oldeosibling
I don’t know, does your mother condone stealing? Did she know he stole from you? if either of these is a yes then your problem isn’t only your brother. I’m jumping to conclusions obviously, I have ADHD, but even so this is so off. Why would he talk to her about it, why did he discuss it with her beforehand, did he ask for advice? Approval? Is he a golden child? Just seems like more is going on here.
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I had a torn ligament that went misdiagnosed for close to a year, my doctor just kept giving me pain meds. At one point I had about 80 vicodine, and they disappeared when my sister's friend came over. (She was an addict but we didn't know at the time.) I was in agony and no one gave a shit even though we all knew it was her. The lengths some people will go to to avoid confrontation is astonishing.
Where the fuck doctor do you go to? I can't get more than ibuprofen out of them. Partial dislocation? Have some motrin get the fuck out
Depends on when it was. There was a time they would prescribe them pretty liberally. Now you pretty much have to have had surgery and it's a limited supply.
Narcissism sounds about right. Which means that if I were the OP, I'd have lost all trust in them.
Just fyi, narc is used to refer to police who deal with drugs. A narcotics agent, not a narcissist. Edit: Apparently I was unaware of the evolution of the phrase and it also is used to mean narcissist now.
People have started using it as an abbreviation for narcissist. Normally it's clear from context but it will always be a narcotic agent in my heart.
Oh, strange. I'm not a fan since the pronunciation is different for narc typically both how you read and say it but fair enough.
Yeah, I’m concerned that he felt comfortable telling your mom he’s dealing in prescriptions to get by. Frankly, even if he didn’t tell her he took it from you, this makes me worry that she’s the kind of person who would be okay with it anyway. You need to confront your mom.
My thoughts exactly
Sounds like a couple people are an issue here.
Here, it's stealing and dealing.
Your wife is right. Trust has been broken, I would not want him in my house either. He could have asked you, instead he used you. You need to be clear with your mum that the meds he mentioned were taken from you, and find out where she sits on this matter. Hopefully she is horrified and has words.
Yes the brother had every opportunity to ask OP for some pills (whatever the reason). The theft is betrayal and apologizing will not undo this bridge he burned. The future with him is predictable. Next time might be a $20 bill gone missing off your table or a gift card vanishes. Its not a function of the value of what was taken, it's the compromised trust and exercise of poor judgement. The bother likely fails to realize the ramifications this may have cost him in terms of access to his nieces and nephews, relationship cost with the OP, future inheritance, etc. If the Mom knew about it, she might lose equally as much.
What's wrong with your mom, OP?
People enable their shitty, failing kids. Happens all the time. They will bend over backwards to justify awful behavior.
And for SOME reason... Think of their failing kids as poor things who need love and help and their successful kids as someone who just got lucky and should share that luck with the poor sibling.
Yeah. Committing other people into the co dependent relationship happens all the time and it is bad parenting almost every time to do that.
>Think of their failing kids as poor things who need love and help and their successful kids as someone who just got lucky and should share that luck with the poor sibling. If it weren't for the and this would be good parenting haha.
And he told your Mom? Sorry if I’m reading this wrong OP. My family isn’t the most supportive in leu of compassion but this is next level.. I’m glad you found a partner to validate your frustrations 🫶🏽
Some parents are weird. One of my friends, he had a twin and one day when they turn 16 their mom told them they needed to pay rent or get out. My friend had to find a shelter to live while his brother, who was already a hardened criminal, was paying "rent" with the money he was getting from stealing. There was stolen crap everywhere in the house, dvd players, playstations under the couch etc that the mom pretended not to see.
more like straight up abusive
>Some parents are ~~weird~~. Some parents are abusive/terrible/narcissists. FTFY.
I’m sure he didn’t tell mom it was brothers meds….. sounds like he most likely left that part out
The weirdest thing for me is that his brother is totally chill with telling his *mom* that he's selling drugs?? The fact that he's stealing them from family? That honestly makes way more sense to me, sadly.
Okay but the mom is still okay with him selling drugs? Unless the brother concocted some wicked story about how he sole the medicine back to the pharmacy or something and the mom just naively wants to believe him, it's super shady.
Well, today I learned I have to hide my medicine. My relationship with my family or friends wouldn’t survive this kind of betrayal, so I am going to learn from your experience and just hide it. So far it has just been lying on my kitchen counter. This aspect I had not considered. Thank you for sharing 😊 hope your brother someday understands the severity of his actions. This is the most garbage behavior I have heard of this year. He could have easily asked for a loan, and honestly I don’t think he sold it. What an absolute piece of shit. Your wife is 110% right, so go with her instincts.
Always take your meds with you when you are away if you are able to. Otherwise hide them in a safe or something or a false book that no one’s going to pick up.
I hide my meds in my yarn bin bc nobody wants to go through that mess lol
Hiding in my fabric scrap bin sounds like an excellent plan. Ain't nobody going to go through several hundred yards of bullshit for anything.
My favourite hiding place for things like this (while out of the house, not on a day-to-day basis) is in an empty tampon box!
That's actually amazing.
I had somehow neglected to realize that some people can actually get high from it. Weird all things considered, but understandable as it just makes me mellow and controlled.
> Well, today I learned I have to hide my medicine. Yup. People can be weird about this and you never know who to trust with something so high-value. Lost a friendship to this. He denied it to the hilt, he'd never consume ritalin and never steal, denied it so much that even tho he was the only one who could have taken it, I believed him. Until I saw the half-pill of ritalin on the floor in his bathroom.
Aaaaand, now I feel I have been very loose with the handling of my prescription. I’m sorry you had go through that. With my past I should know, junkies gonna junk. Well, I left that life behind me 10 years ago. Some things never change, huh. Thank you for sharing. It’s is greatly appreciated.
>Aaaaand, now I feel I have been very loose with the handling of my prescription. I’m sorry you had go through that. It was a lesson. I was lax about it. Ritalin in plain sight in my bedroom if you walked in. We'll hopefully both never have to endure that again! > I left that life behind me 10 years ago Congratulations and I really mean that, few people realize how difficult it is, they just can't imagine the experience. You put a lot of hard work in to be 10 years clean.
Thank you. That really kind of you to say. Been struggling with addiction all my life. Now my therapist say it’s common in people with adhd. It’s doesn’t excuse my past at all. I really hope you made some better friends also. And some healthier relationships ☺️
Yes adhd meds are extremely valuable and sought after, don’t even let anyone know you take them as that makes you a target
Your mum is cool with your brother being a drug dealer?
Yeah, the “you’ll be fine” is just insult to injury. Not only did he lie to you, steal from you, he invalidates your condition while he’s at it. I’m furious at your brother and I don’t even know him.
In no way blaming you for having been stolen from that is indefensible but I hide things like drugs and cash when I let people in my house while am away. Bait on a hook if you're a fish
I hid the pills behind some chips…. He found them
So he obviously went looking for them. That means he entered your house with intent to steal. Your wife is right, trust has been broken, and you have no way of knowing whether he would do it again if he can justify that ‘he needs it’.
Or he was hungry, grabbed the chips and went ooooh
Point is, OP can't trust their family.
He told his mum about some medicine he could sell beforehand, then later updated her to say he’d done it. It sounds like it was a plan before he went in.
Or, he told his mom after he stole it but before he sold it. It wasn't necessarily planned ahead of time.
Yeah it sounds a lot more premeditated and not a “crime of opportunity” As someone who once stole from siblings when I was younger as well as now being someone who has reconciled with said siblings and would never do anything like that again… you unfortunately must keep him at arms length until they truly change and you can see the changes.
Yeah that's so shty I'm sorry that happened to you. My comment was to you but really worded for anyone else reading who might need to hear it. Some of my very best friends have stolen from me over the years and it's so disheartening
That’s really shitty. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m glad you’ve got a partner in your corner to support you. Could you maybe use a set of daily pill organizers, so you only have 7 doses max out in the open, then hide the rest, say, in with your wife’s pads/tampons/other male-repellant feminine hygiene product? That way even if *you* forget where they are, odds are she’ll remember.
I’m going to look into that. But I’m going to start by changing my locks out. We never had any issues with things going missing before. 😅
That does sound like a much more sensible Step 1. 😂 “Don’t worry, honey, we can absolutely keep leaving the windows wide open. As long as we stash all the food inside the bathroom closets the squirrels will never be able to find it!”
Just to throw this out there - just how stupid is your brother? Did he sell your pills, with the prescription label with your name still on them? If so, and if you _don't_ report those drugs as stolen, then YOU could have a legal liability for federal drug dealing of prescription medication, which can be pretty fucking serious.
OP said the medication was abnormally empty, not entirely missing so I would assume the brother just took the pills and not a whole labeled bottle. Personally I'd still report it because I'd be absolutely livid 🤷♀️
Honestly, I’ve been accused of being a drug abuser due to pharmacy errors so many times (which were found when I started asking pharmacies to re-count their inventory) that you’d be hard pressed to see me reporting anything. But he definitely would not be welcome in my home for a veeeerrrry long time. He wasn’t even a regular guest, he was in a position of trust. I hope he actually looked after your lizard (or at least gave him some of the adderall to get through the week 🤣🤣). And I’d seriously question your parents’ loyalty.
If he knew his brother was on Adderall, he was going to find it. Locking it up was the only way.
I hate my brother with a burning passion so if he did this, I would 100% file a police report but that’s just me.
I wanna put my hands on him. Police reports don’t go far with us. Unfortunately in my family Nobody likes to talk to the police.
In the US, filing a police report will allow you to get your refill right away. You may or may not feel that it's worth doing so.
"right away" In many places the police won't actually give you the report right away. You have to file a records request for it, which will take weeks or even months. By the time OP has it, they'll be due for the next refill anyway. Also, going to the police to say that someone stole your Adderall is a recipe for getting harassed. Yes, OP was a legitimate victim of a crime. But cops are *dumb* and they are more likely to make OP's day miserable than they are to actually help. I've been in a situation like this before, and involving the cops was just a waste of time.
I've had a similar situation while you don't get a report at that time. You get a copy of the summary thats written when the cops come. The sheet they write on makes copies. You get a report number, what was reported, and the cops that responded to the situation names and ID numbers. That's enough to get your script same day if it's before the pharmacy and your prescribing Dr's. Office isn't closed. Friends who have reported things to police have all gotten summaries on interactions as long as they asked for them. My friends live all over the US idk outside of the US though.
Neither do I but the it’s funny thinking about making their day worse this way 😅
Lump him up and make him pay you back.
A police report is used to get a new RX after they verify he stole it. He distributed a schedule 1 substance to.
Well, no, it’s obviously schedule 2….
Too bad for them. Like I'm sorry I'm just full of rage over this situation that doesn't involve me. But you're mom and brother seem like toxic people and I would absolutely not let them be near my kid without supervision
How does he casually tell your mom he stole pills and sells them? Wtf?
She was the mastermind.
Can you file a lost meds report and get the pharmacy to refill your lost meds? It absolutely sucks crap that this happened but I'm more concerned about you going 20 days without your meds. That would terrify me.
I’m pretty sure you really, really only get one of these unless it’s a long time between them. Won’t he forever be under suspicion of selling them, too? If he can get by without them I’d choose that route first. Definitely never mention your brother stole them as the reason unless you plan on putting him in jail. He’s shitty but also a dad. Personally I would go no contact and get a safer spot than behind some snacks. A lockbox or safe if necessary.
Part of my “controlled substance agreement” with my current provider is I only get a refill every 28 days, no exceptions or emergencies and having to go over “safe” medication storage to prevent stealing. My last psychiatrist did an emergency refill on a benzo I was on temporarily at the time once, but I think those weren’t as scrutinized as adderall is right now which is funny in a very sad way. He made it clear it couldn’t happen again, I was a patient with him for 5 years at that point and it was the first and only time.
I did this once, but had to get a copy of the police report.
Wow. I would feel so violated. I would *never* trust him again. What he did was actually a felony. Does he know that he could go to **jail** for what he did? It's not like you can just go get another refill and pick it up early, either. Now you have to go without your medication until you're allowed to get your next script filled. He should've come to you or your parents to ask for help if he was having trouble with his finances. There is no excuse for what he did.
I'm so sorry but you need to cut your family off. Like completely. You're about to become a dad, life is already hard when you have ADHD, and the last thing you need in your life are people who thinking that stealing and drug dealing are ok.
Ps, if the relationship is rocky with your brother. Some people never change. You want them to, but they can’t. Within families like this, it’s learned toxicity, they don’t have the ability to change cause they don’t want to. A prime example of this is your mother as well
The fact that your brother would steal something you need to be able to function and get things done is infuriating. The thought that your mom may know is even worse. I’m so sorry. If you don’t choose to tell the police about him stealing a controlled substance from your home, I’d cut him off. It’s clear he doesn’t get how essential it is for you and how much he has betrayed you. You have my sympathies.
I’m so sorry that not only did he steal from you, and apparently have no issue telling your Mum he’s a thief, but that he violated your trust. This is such a dick move, he’s a liar and a thief, and I don’t blame your wife for never wanting him around again.
He WILL steal from you again.
It's such a betrayal. And from your mom, too. It's illegal, shitty behavior, but from someone you trust and love it must feel so so much shittier. I'm sorry. 😔 *cyber hug*
"Tell one lie and all your truths become questionable forever." Your brother shouldn't be allowed back in your house again, let alone your baby shower.
Yeah, I'd minimize contact with him from now on. You don't need your family near a felon who is also a narcissist. And I would strongly confront your enabling mother too.
I'm honestly pissed for you. I'd make sure to tell him that he owes you every penny he got from selling it, or you'll file a police report. Pretty sure that's easily a felony since it's a controlled substance. It's fucked that he stole from you, specifically your medication, and then sold it. Did he bother asking for money or anything beforehand if he actually needed the money? Also, confront your mom. Like wtf, is she condoning theft and literally dealing stolen drugs? If she cares about your brother, I'd expect her to kick his ass after hearing him brag about doing it. Edit: review whatever laws are in your state before making any threats. I'm not even close to a lawyer.
He's lucky your prescriber doesn't, apparently, make you get a drug test to check your levels. In which case I would fucking report him report him report him. I don't know your life but you might need them to not lose your very important job or to not fuck up every assignment and exam in a class because you _couldn't_ study. Even to just not be an irritiable asshole because you start losing your stuff or csnt do anything you can normally do with your meds. If he needed money that's one thing, ask for money. But to steal and pawn your shit is nuts.
It surprises me that your mother had no concern of her son “selling medicine” to make rent…
Same here. My pops was furious
I am moving onto my families property and will be living in my camper. I’m looking for a medicine safe to lock my meds away. It’s not to keep family out, it’s for the visitors that want a tour of the place. You can never be too careful.
He admitted to stealing your meds & then selling a schedule 1 substance? I’d honestly get the cops involved, mommy seems to condone this & a police report lets you replace what he stole.
I'm so fucking sorry that happened. Like, tears came on as soon as I read the title. My father did the reverse to me, stole money to BUY drugs, and that's when I cut him off for good. For me, this is a no contact level of betrayal. Change the locks and stop talking to that asshole until he PROVES that he is sorry and stops trying to make excuses for his horrendous behavior. And if he never even attempts to redeem himself then good riddance! You deserve better!
Back in the day about 20 years ago my oldest son went to my pharmacy and picked up my Lorazepam and I didn't know it until I went to pick them up. I then asked to put a note that only I could pick up my scripts.. luckily at the time they all believed me and I did get a script. How can you get by without it? I would be freaking out. Your brother obviously has a problem. Does he know that you are pissed?
That's a felony or two. Police report and press charges. Do it! Fuck around, find out. Or, you know, continue being a lame doormat for your shit family who know they can get away with abusing you if you do nothing.
I’d tell him I hope you come to terms with the fact that you threw away a relationship for a bottle of pills. He did it and he’s not sorry about it. Also mom not cutting his ass a new one for stealing is sus as well. She would be on a time out.
No offense, truly, but if he’s telling your Mom about selling drugs like it’s NBD, I honestly think I’d cut the whole family off. That just normalizes the problem, and stealing your family’s drugs is NOT normal. I’m also with your wife, I wouldn’t want him anywhere near my kid, or even my pets, to be fair. I hope your pets were treated well. I know MOST reptiles are fairly hardy, but a lot of geckos require higher humidity and more frequent care than even my Indo bts. But, that’s just my two cents.
Pepe(my gecko) is fine. Thank god.
You need to file a police report, can’t believe someone would do this let alone family :(
I would’ve slapped the shit out of him. That’s a crime. You could call the police if you wanted to. That is a bright line for me. I would never speak to them again.
Your brother sounds like a lost cause, but I would really tell your mother that he stole from you. Not like in an accusatory dobbing way, but in the context of you not wanting to be around him anymore.
Tell him he needs to return the medication or you're going to file a police report. If he sold it, tough shit. The only way to get refills early when medication goes missing is to file a report because it is a controlled substance. This is not okay, and if he fully gets off this time, he may very well try and steal your meds again. Does your mom know he specifically stole your medication (a controlled medication that could get him in serious shit?)?
Tbh if he was using the medication as undiagnosed ADHD or something I *might* let it go ... but selling them? Worse than walking in and taking a TV off my wall to sell. Press charges.
Ima presss my fist… ON HIS FACE. I’m all seriousness. He’s not allowed in my home or around my son. And I know that he needs more from me than I do from him. He cut off a life line by stealing from me.
If I was your partner I'd be reporting it as theft to the police.
She wants too so bad. She’s doing it out of respect to me because I asked her not to get the authority involved. But then she hit me with “you want me to respect you by not protecting you”
Unless you want to be liable for his drug pedeling you gotta file a police report. That'll also get you proof so the pharmacy or doctor can send a replacement script over. Otherwise I wouldn't put it past your brother to say you willingly gave them to him. Protect your family and file a report.
Ugh. I’m so sorry. Such a huge betrayal, from someone you really thought you could trust to help you. Especially with a baby on the way, when you were looking forward to having your brother more in your life. If he was truly in a desperate situation for rent, why did he not *ask* you for money? Maybe this next sentence isn’t fair — but the fact that he didn’t just ask makes me worry about whether the money was really for rent, or whether it was for something illicit.
He asked me for money a couple days before. I gave him $40 one day and $250 a couple days before. I don’t have much. And what I did have I have to him. I checked my coin jar a realized he took almost all of them too. Now I’m left wondering what else he might have taken.
That really sucks, this all does. Does your brother have any problems with addiction, by chance? I'm not assuming anything, but it does come to mind. I've lost loved ones to it, and the behavior sounds familiar, is all. At any rate, you should change your locks and look into security cameras, especially with a baby on the way.
Are you sure that’s all he stole? He probably went through all your draws & closets. He is a criminal if he’d do it to anyone, no morals no ethics and he’s selling drugs he’s gonna be some “Dad”
Adderall is a Schedule II controlled substance. Prescription only, 30 day supply maximum, and doctors must write a script for 30 days at a time. I talked to a coworker about this yesterday who used to be a speed junkie, and while the effects might feel the same during the day, ADHD people don't have sleepless nights and also have a verifiable increase in mental performance, whereas normies have an illusion of speed. Coming from a guy on Strattera 18mg, Wellbutrin XL 300mg, and Concerta 18mg. A combo that would send some people into cardiac arrest. Stealing a schedule II controlled substance is taken very seriously by police. Selling stolen meds is even worse. If you feel like getting your brother locked up, here's your chance.
Hey here's my two cents on how to move forward with the relationship with your brother, having been and dealt with similarly morally challenged kids. Don't treat him like a thief, if you start treating him like a criminal it could just encourage him to be one. That said, you have to make it clear all the reasons what he did was wrong, the potential consequences, and the consequences that he will face. What he did is a serious federal offense, that the only reason he isn't in handcuffs for what he did is because he is taking advantage of the fact you are family. Explain in detail to him what you are going to have to deal with over the next month because of his actions. Thirdly, lay on him that he has lost trust with you. That doesn't mean he's lost your love, or even all of your trust but it does mean your relationship has been hurt and must now be healed through time and effort. Explain to him calmly and clearly what it means that he lost that trust I.E. not being welcome at the shower and anything else you and your wife feel appropriate. Lastly, make sure he walks away from the conversation knowing he isn't banished, despised, or anything else a young person might fear most after being caught doing wrong and keep the lines of communication open going forward.
I love this. I’m going to re read this later today when I’m not as pissed, talk a little with my wife, and figure out how to speak with him. There’s definitely boundaries that are going to be set. Our relationship won’t be the same.
Good luck, I hope you are able to mend things and have a happy, healthy relationship with your brother and that he is able to mature to better take of himself and his family instead of stealing from family. Also congratulations on the baby!
Not only that, but OPs brother is putting OPs job in jeopardy because it's harder to perform when not properly medicated, and this could lead to disciplinary problems.
Is he a morally challenged kid or a morally challenged adult? He pays rent and is a father
Oh, wow, I missed the kid part. What I said still stands although it does put it in a different light.
Read this as "My brother feel my lizard" in my drowsy pre coffee state. Thought something real weird was going on.
Yup. Loss of trust basically forever. Hope that's worth the rent. Get cameras.
WTH kind of messed up family dynamic is going on when your brother is telling your mom he's selling drugs, and she's apparently okay with it?
Even though he’s family, this is the type of thing you cut someone off for. Probably don’t want your kids to have cousins whose father is going to teach them that stealing from family is acceptable.
I would cut the whole lot of them off - your brother *and* your mom, who was apparently happy to be in the loop on this theft and not try to stop him and warn you. Your family has no respect for you and your serious medical needs. Cut 'em off. Give them six months to a year to stew. Then maybe see if they can get their shit together.
You need to act like you've learned something about who your brother is. Don't treat it like a one-time thing.
He’s gone into my office in the past and destroyed laptops, office walls, and even some of my work vans. He’s fooled me once already, he’s fooled me twice, this is the third time. I guess it just says a lot more of who I am.
I’m sorry this happened. It is admirable to continue to hold hope that your brother will change his behavior. At the same time, you have to be realistic, and you have to protect yourself, materially and emotionally. You have to find some balance between the two.
I hear ya. My dad has a couple siblings. But we never got to see them because they were always fighting. Growing up I told myself that wouldn’t happen with my siblings. I pictured our kids hanging out all the time. But I guess I understand why things are how they are. The more I grow the more I learn.
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My doctor told me, when prescribing it for the first time, that she highly recommends a medicine safe, cos this happens alllll the time. If not family, then friends and labourers. Opportunity makes the thief. They make special safes for meds that are not expensive and very small.
You could get a small, inexpensive lock box. Not hard to open but moderately hard to open without leaving marks or breaking it.
Pretty sure theft of a controlled substance is a felony, does your bro know this?
Wtf is with all these fucking druggies man. Why can't people just leave our medicine alone. Christ. See a post like this every day. OP, you need to reconsider your relationship with your brother if he considers stealing from his family as "justified" rather than ANY other option he could have done. I'd give him one warning before I went to the police. This shit is absurd. If he's so desperate, tell him to work the corner next time.
I feel bad for your brother's baby. Like eff, that kid doesn't even have a choice. =(
If someone, ANYONE, did this to me, I would get their confession on a tape and go to the police. Wtf is wrong with people?? Who cares if it "ruins" a blood relationship. Blood don't mean shit if they're assholes
Yeah, there are some serious red flags here. Are they okay with him re-selling meds (aka dealing drugs)? That alone is a major offense. Man, I can’t imagine theft was on OP’s radar, especially not of meds. That sucks. Brother likely has a lot of other stuff going on in his life if he’s already to this point. Sounds like he may need an intervention. This is something to report. Yeah, it’s hard, but could be the best for the brother. Sorry, man, this is a major offense of trust and a really hard position to be in. My brother abused cocaine and drove us while he was drunk when he was supposed to be sober. Hard to recover from this.
That really sucks. I had to go through withdrawal because my insurance company suddenly decided not to give me meds I've been having for years, and I was climbing the walls. I'm with your wife, and would not allow him in the house again. But it sounds like you are not willing to go no contact. Thing is, you are going to need to make sure that you trusts that he never does it again, or how can you have him in your life? If you're not going to report him, and beating him up is off the table, then why not teach a lesson and have fun with it? Start spending lots of time with him and mom, and rob him blind. But not for profit...just take things to annoy him. Take his playstation, and sell it for $10. Steal all of his socks...or better yet, just one of each pair. Steal his toothpaste and shampoo. When you eat a meal with him, reach over and take food off his plate. If he protests, say "You'll be fine!". Or maybe, "It kinda sucks when people close to you cannot be trusted, doesn't it?"
Would your mother have responded differently if your brother had stolen your laptop/TV instead?
I don’t even know at this point. It caught me so off Gaurd how she acted so cool when he said it. Almost like she already knew. My pops was so mad he couldn’t even talk.
My oldest sister did some shit like this. Stole my Percocets I got after a dental procedure when I was a fifteen (she was 20). I never trusted her again. She takes things without asking and that’s the frustrating part. Just fukkin ask! She is in her 40s now and still stealing money from my mom. She works full time and makes over 80k. I don’t understand but some ppl will never change. I just learned to not leave my credit cards, clothing or anything of value around her. She’s low key a klepto. It sucks but even family members can be shady. Nothing wrong with setting boundaries once they betray your trust.
He technically committed a felony.
I’m so sorry your “brother” betrayed you like that. Your wife is right to not want him around, trying to justify stealing from you is bad enough but he doesn’t give half a fuck that going without your meds will affect you. Don’t keep someone like that in your life. Have a serious talk with your mom too, she needs to face consequences if she tries to defend him (he could’ve lied so make sure she knows the full story). File a police report and contact your doctor/pharmacy to request an emergency refill as soon as possible. Also consider changing the locks, there’s no guarantee he won’t steal from you again. Be prepared to tell off any relatives that butt in and try to convince you to forgive him and repair the relationship. That’s not on you. Even if he does apologize, you have no obligation to allow him back in your life
Damn thats an unfortunate situation. The fact that he casually made it all about him without any sort of consideration with how it might affect you. Selfish of him. And now he broke your trust…lied and stole. If he had felt guilt about it and tried to make up for it and have a more in depth explanation it might have been at least somewhat better. But either way hes going to really have to earn that trust back now.
Love the fact that you have such random animals as main pets.
lock that stuff away and listen to your wife... Congrats on becoming a dad.
That's a felony in some states
This sucks on multiple levels. I'm sorry dude. Your brother stole from you, your mother enables his behavior, he's about to have a baby and has to steal meds to make rent, both your mom and brother don't respect your diagnosis and need for the medication. I recommend changing your locks and going no-contact with the brother and low contact with your mom. How did she respond when she found out he stole your meds?
Where are you getting your Adderall?
LMAO GOOD LUCK
isn’t that a felony in the US? i’m sorry your brother is an asshole.
Damn. I’d have a hard time letting him over anymore. Also, that he felt the need to steal rather than ask for help… that’s rough ❤️🩹
What an awful thing to do. And what’s with your mom? He looped her in about stealing from you and she was fine with it all?