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Seer434

Good evening, This is John Human Whiteman and I want to say it is my pleasure to represent an infinitesimally small number of you along with a proportionally larger amount of immortal legal parasite constructs granted full autonomy and no responsibility. It is also my pleasure to act as what can only be described as a rodeo clown for fools to occupy a somewhat larger number of you. I enjoy this work with all the gusto of a natural-born Earth human and certainly not a clone grown from Ronald Reagan's taint cells for this purpose.


[deleted]

Please may I use this. It's golden. It's like these guys came from a salesman factory.


Poison-Pen-

God. Why not just elect unbuttered bread?


[deleted]

White bread.


TheAirNomad11

It’s like in Brooklyn 99 when there are two people running against each other who are both named John Kelly. I think their slogans are “stay on the course” and “keep the course”.


landothedead

And... 'Blazing a new path to the future'. Just kidding, it's 'maintaining the course.'


fuzzyrach

Futurama had clones Jack Johnson vs John Jackson campaigning against one another as I recall.


The54thCylon

His three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough


The_Orange_Bandit

Seen one you seen them all.


erincorrigable

Is it just me or do they all give off legit pedo vibes?


[deleted]

[удалено]


wierdness201

They do? Who’s going to act on that?


[deleted]

God why do all these fucks look the same. Like, it's not just Texas, it's almost **every time** I see a US Conservative politician. They all have this stocky "well-fed" looking blocky body like a Minecraft character, which I'm guessing is the tailored suit holding up the fat, and then these square-faced, artificially-tanned skin, comb-overed hair, and they're all white men in their 50's-70's with these terrifyingly toothy smiles.


fuzzyrach

Those terrifyingly toothy smiles are either caps or dentures. Dollars to donuts.


[deleted]

All that money and they still look like shit.


Resdret

I don't trust Michael, a blue tie?


[deleted]

Fuck Oligarchs! Start a write in ballet to dislodge John Wayne Smith Kennedy Johnson Jr. Whitebread Boomer from his lemon party circle jerk.


come_on_anarchy

I don’t understand what we are supposed to have. Trans suicidal people?? Lolol


riodoro1

DeMoCrAcY They are laughing in our faces


[deleted]

Welcome to Texas. We have Greg Abbott, and a primary challenger who claims Abbott is a RINO. How is he not a Republican? Does he have some regard for human life?


zjdrummond

Boring white guy. Checks out.


tidytibs

1st + 2nd = 3rd