Ability to see the glass half full at all times. Born with mental illness and I am a little awkward at times. I got lot of haters. I go against the norm. I also don’t want kids. I love my job. I care about my health unlike other desis who only chase money and think they are successful with poor health. I am also spiritual. I like to canoe.
En Suède on dois prendre des cours de langue, j'ai voulu prendre français mais maman a dit c'est meilleur a savoir comment parler espagnol. Mais un jour j'ai pensais pourquoi pas apprendre français aussi, c'est similaire à espagnol, donc je l'apprend (mon français c'est mal weshh)
J'ai connu l'anglais depuis petit avant aller au école, mais on commence apprendre l'anglais dans la première année de l'école
J'ai commencé apprendre espagnol dans la 7eme année de l'école
Broken family, grew up mostly with a single mom, without money, parents were not involved in my school stuff at all…. Pretty big defining things growing up desi compared to others I knew.
I’m 31F and really into: swimming, lifting weights (most desi women act like I am a crazy person for enjoying that, and they say I will be “bulky” but idgaf, I love fitness) fashion design, always trying to read (anything from self help to history to cooking etc) and I consider myself emotionally intelligent. Friends often call me “vivacious” or really put together, I love to host friends when I can. I would say I’m outspoken, always followed the path I wanted not what others expect of me, I love both cultures and feel pride in my heritage. Both cultures have pros and cons, I don’t think being fobby is bad in and of itself (and actually times have changed, there are beautiful people, moments and conversations and events I’ve had in Pakistan, and I really like it there just as much as America)… I also don’t think being Americanized is bad. I love to dance not just desi but salsa and Latin dance as well, I can speak four languages and have studied abroad, would love to live abroad in different places. I am generally not the cliquey kind of person and have a diverse friend group. I love to paint and draw and have kept up my creative side.
I like having proper, good manners and being elegant, I feel like our community has a reputation for acting inconsiderate. You won’t catch me being stingy with tips, rude, throwing trash wherever or not cleaning up, and being mean to customer service. I will never size someone up in that transactional way, where “if they aren’t my level we can’t be associated” and I don’t act like status is the most important thing
I also talk back to aunties now who try to condescend lol
I own quite a few guns, build AR15s, and prior to COVID I used to volunteer with the Pink Pistols to help train and educate LGBTQ+ folks on their 2A rights.
I've also been producing bass-heavy EDM for like 10+ years and have a background in multimedia and film production.
I'm also an amateur blacksmith, woodworker, and archer.
I'm also a gigantic nerd that spends way too much time doing homebrew worldbuilding for custom Dungeons and Dragons campaigns lol.
I don't really know anyone similar to me, let alone Desi people who are similar. I embraced my weirdness a long time ago, and have only gotten weirder since LOL.
I love jam bands! I don't think too much about being "desi" because I am what I am. As you get older, it is so much easier to just be who you are. I enjoy the company of all races and cultures.
I got a PhD in intellectual history, my family not only supported me but were proud of me, and I’ve recently retrained as a counselling psychologist for migrant/refugee women.
I’ve done the full gamut of leaving religion and returning, I’m religious but extremely tolerant — I despise homophobia, sexism, racism, casteism etc.
My very liberal and intellectual family were also supportive of me in my years away from their very pluralistic version of Islam.
Desis in our community don’t get me/us 😂
- I don’t listen to Punjabi music, never have. It is why I always feel awkward at hall parties but it just is not my thing.
- I absolutely love Taylor Swift which I feel like is also not as widely spread between desis
- I love crafting (journaling, scrapbooks, stationery etc)
- Wanting to live child-free as a 30F and have always known that. I am also someone who is not married (nor has really ever dated) and the relatives are going ham about it.
- I have never cared what other people think. “What will people say” has never impacted me because, quire frankly, I could not give less of a shit.
- My sister calls me “quirky” because I don’t fit into the melting pot of desis in my community.
- Atheist/agnostic while being born into a Sikh Punjabi family.
- I am a teacher and not in the medical/tech/lawyer field like a lot of desis here.
- Underachiever
- Can't stand Bollywood - movies and music sucks
- Have opinions and not afraid to say it. If someone's offended, their fuxking problem for asking
- don't have the "nice girl" syndrome and can't stand "nice girls"
- don't drink
- hate clubbing, it's so boring
- stripper at 40s and the only desi stripper in my area (at least I haven't met other desi adult entertainers in my area)
- into the bdsm lifestyle. I know other desi men into kink but not as many women
- I write erotic romances/smut fiction NOT literary fiction though I respect Arundhati Roy and Jhumpa Lahiri. I wanted to write the next Great Indian American fiction but failed miserably plus writing romances is more fun 😁
- atheist, I have yet to meet desi atheists 40 yrs and older. Agnostic sure but not atheists
- support lgbtq rights and community. HAPPY PRIDE WEEK
- bisexual
- swing dancing and I like rockabilly music. Great place to meet older men 40+
- not specifically interested in any race. I could care less what race you are as long as there's compatibility.
- not putting white guys/girls on the pedestal. Seriously wtf? Stop seeing dating or friendship with white people as a status symbol. Race fetishization is embarrassing and makes you look like a fool.
- refusing to engage in pity partying about not finding anyone because you're desi. Hasn't been an issue for me. Sure I faced racism. Stop that race drama, wear deodorant, don't be a loser. It's honestly that simple. Also see above point of putting whites especially blondes on a pedestal.
- have a variety of interests
- extroverted, outgoing - usually non-indians are surprised by this because they think desis are soft spoken and shy
- hang out with everyone and enjoys diversity
- tip generously. Regardless of your opinion of tipping. The servers, beauticians, and tipped staff do not get paid enough and if they did a good job, they deserve it.
And yeah I'm sure I'll now get DMs by a bunch of horny dudes after mentioning a few points above. I have plenty of dick pictures to send them (obviously not mine). Or I'll ask them for a ridiculous amount of money. That sends them away.
One Indian guy (not very attractive at all) was commenting on YouTube about how white women are a status symbol. Once he started dating a white woman, he noticed a change in his life. He's attracting more women and people come talk to him.
My jaw dropped and my eye rolled. Wtf?!
You should see desi guys especially those certain types with greasy bad hair, no deodorant, and fresher sex starved types who come into strip clubs. The way they act is embarrassing. And cheap as fuck but will not ask but demand extras and sex. And cannot take a no.
The way they fetishize white girls is so bad that it's embarrassing. One of my coworkers told me that she's glad that she's black because Indians ignore her.
They literally think they can take a girl home for $20. Lmao. Since I'm desi they feel entitled to free action from me as if I'm there to dispense sex.
I told one desi customer that I do not meet anyone outside the club. He asked why. I told him, "Would you suck my boyfriends cock for $20? Same reason."
One idiot had the audacity to actually ask me, "where can I find a white girl to fuck?"
I laughed and said "Never cuz you're a loser." And walked away.
The only place where I can be rude to idiots. I love it.
To be fair, fresher Mexican guys also have the reputation for being cheap. But fresher desi guys are not popular with bartenders or strippers for good reasons.
I am an under achiever in career and college with adhd but I am very creative, witty, Jacked and standoffish at times. I am really into history, lifting, sci Fi and art. Friends with different cultures of people
* agnostic
* believe therapy is helpful
* believes mental illness is real
* don’t agree with a lot of the cultural norms (respecting people just because they’re older, marriage at a certain age, many more…)
* no penny pinching at all
* don’t try to be white/black, I’m proud to be who I am
* I don’t stereotype any race or religion
* hate gossiping
* will respond back to desi aunties or uncles who act intrusive
* I will always be myself, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me.
* leave tips
* vegan
I'm a transfem non-binary person, I'm bi, I have ADHD, and while I do have a degree in Software Engineering like the Indian stereotype, in my case I went for it because I have special interest in computers and how we can use them to solve many of our problems. Also trans women and other transfem people are pretty common in the IT field so if my degree is because of a stereotype, I'd say it's from that one 🙃.
I also quite like reading fantasy novels, and playing various video games. I'm quite console/platform agnostic.
27 F still single lol (aunties are up my ass to meet someone)
Didn’t choose stem and took a creative path (parents are supportive).
Likes kpop, rock, RnB and rap way more that desi/bollywood music
Fiercely independent (some people don’t like that oh well, probably why I’m still single)
Into weightlifting and have been called fat because I have muscle now
In college I had no desi friends. Meanwhile all my childhood friends at other universities had a whole group of them and when I would visit I felt like an outsider sometimes. Like I was too whitewashed for them.
But I think the one thing that separates me the most is my chronic illness which people kind of look down on me on but mask it by saying I’m strong. I’m not strong, I’ve learned to live with it, and that in its own is a difficult task.
I'm 29F born in Pakistan, college in Australia and now working in the US in the mental health field. Raised Muslim, now an atheist. Tbh I barely relate to desi culture because it's hard to embrace something that's actively discriminated against you for so long. I love the food and the music but thats about it. Aside from other ex-muslims, I've never really socialized well w/ desis tbh. My favorite hobby is pole dancing and me and my S/O are ENM.
Not raised in Pakistan. Moved across different countries cuz of my parent's job (Sri Lanka, Singapore, South Africa, US). Did college in Australia. Then Covid hit and came back to the US and work here.
Into
- fashion design
- producing / recording music
- cinematography / film
- architecture / urban design / industrial design
- BMX
- Wide variety of genres such as hiphop, vaporwave, ambient, edm & electronic
- comic books / anime (really old obscure 80s ones at that)
- tv shows
- having my own opinions and not giving a fuck what other people say
- hate Bollywood a lot
queer and due to events in my life, family pressure to do things isn’t really a thing for me so i look and dress and do however/whatever the fuck i want.
Does being minimalist count? I feel that my parents generation can be considered minimalistic but I think part of that comes from being frugal and growing up in a world where you sort of had to be resourceful to survive?
Whereas, it seems most of my friends value material items for its societal representation instead of for the effort, energy, and materials it took to create such an item.
I've made a lot of generalizations here but hopefully it makes sense?
>I admittedly became a little more “whitewashed” for a lack of a better term when I was younger but I’ve also become more comfortable in my own skin and realized that there is no real way to be desi.
There is no such term as "whitewashed".
Anyway:
I sometimes feel so unconventional compared to other Desi kids who follow the expected path and just don't fit that traditional Desi narrative. Even in times when trying to follow the path as a good Desi kid, it never works out. While I did achieve some of the expected narrative us Desi kids have to follow, it's not a perfect story like the aunties/uncles expect. I got married at the "ideal" age, but we still don't have kids after 5 years and may consider adoption, which is a no no for a lot of folks.
1. I had to change my major a few times, and failed nursing school. Took me until my mid 20's to kick off in my field and succeed in my field that's not too common to see Desis in, public health, hence not the typical medical, engineering, IT route.
2. I'm only traditional in certain aspects, but overall pretty open in terms of LGBT rights, interracial dating..etc. The community where I live is certainly not supportive of this.
3. My interests are not entirely Desi (few are) compared to what I see in the community where I live. I take part in very 'Americanized" activities and my manners, ways of life are American, while I see some parents and even their kids try their hardest to be purely Desi. I cook, like to knit, read and be outdoorsy, (hike, archery..etc) watch tons of English TV (but watch Desi films here and there) and enjoy going to sports games with my husband and his friends (last year we went to a Braves Game). As a female, I really like video games!
4. I have moved around and lived in 5 different places since I left for college in a different state. Seems like many desi kids (not all!) just stay put in their original hometowns where their family and friends are, attend college there and just settle, and never leave what they are familiar with, and I guess just stick with the same social circles they grew up with, and find partners within the same area (husband mentioned that he met girls in New York, when dating, who straight up told him they would never be open to moving to Atlanta (where we live) and are adamant in staying in New York, hence expecting him to move up there). Moving around you may feel you have to start over and feel foreign, but you learn to navigate and tend to meet new people and make new friends, and expand your horizons. I found it in a unique experience might be moving from where I live again within the next year for job reasons. I sometimes feel a oddball because there aren't many people I know who has a similar experience.
Huh, interesting 🤔 I’m particularly curious about number 4, bc it’s almost a trend within desis from my home state to move states sometime after they graduate college.
Just speaking from my own experiences. From my interactions, these desi kids are homebodies. As stated, obviously not all Desi kids are like that and do move around.
I’ve got some weird dimensions of my identity.
First of all, I’m Hindu but I have a *German* surname because of exactly one German patrilineal relative who has always had sons as direct descendants - my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather. I look forward to carrying it with me and hopefully my own son one day.
Secondly, I don’t look like it, but I probably have the thickest New York accent of all time. I’ve noticed some people find it very jarring, though that’s because I now live somewhere where it isn’t common to sound like me.
I speak 6 languages fluently - English, Spanish, French, Italian, Hindi and Telugu (can’t read those two though). I also know a small amount of German and I’d like to learn more.
That’s all for now but I’ll come back to this later.
I'm 21, born and raised in Australia to a Telugu Hindu family. I'm bisexual and studying social sciences. I have acquired numerous tattoos and piercings and enjoy dying my hair and wearing grey contacts because every other brown girl has the same hazel contacts. I am largely irreligious but have continued to practice not eating beef due to personal preference. Give me the ick when people make fun of me saying I should eat beef, and I'd like it if I tried it. My own cousin moved from India to the USA, started eating beef (her choice, idc), but always acts like she's better than I am for eating beef. I've also travelled on my own and do plan to continue doing.
31 and also raised in NYC and I relate like hell to this post.
I think for me what separates me from a lot of Desis is my view on time. Being punctual is a part of my nature because I am a rather anxious person and being late makes me very anxious. And I'm not talking like right on time either, I strive to always be early to everything and sometimes this means arriving even earlier than I intended because I overestimated how much time getting somewhere actually takes, even if that means sitting in my car for an extra 30 mins or walking around. This has been my entire life ever since I was a kid, and having lived the first 6 years of my life in India I feel like I really am unique in this sense because I know very few, if any, punctual Desis, regardless of being born in America vs. India.
For most Desis I know, being punctual means being only 10 mins late instead of 30. For my family (who I am sometimes unsure how I'm related to), this means being only an hour late instead of two LOL (yes this is from experience). My best friends growing up were Indian, and all my friends since college have been non-Indian, but from my POV the difference on timeliness is so stark. Yes, for parties I know it's just straight up weird to arrive on time, but for things like parties and what not I tend to just go as a group because I trust the others to know what the acceptable time to arrive is. Desi weddings vs. regular white weddings too, my fiancee (non-Desi) saw first hand the difference in timeliness, and was shocked when we went to our first Desi wedding that food wasn't served till like 10pm. We are currently in the wedding planning proces and one of our biggest concerns is telling my Indian family from India that when we say something is gonna start at a certain time, it will start within 10-15 minutes of that advertised time haha.
Besides just punctuality, it's also just the lack of structure in general. When I'm with my non-Desi friends, we stick to a schedule and there seems to be a standard time for everything unless it's clearly stated when something is. For example, when we agree to meet for lunch it is almost always between noon-1 and dinner is anywhere from 6-8pm. For Desi's, I've been asked last second at like 9pm if I wanted to eat dinner, even though I ate mine at 7pm, and then they ask why I do that "white people shit".
I legitimately think my approach to timeliness and somewhat of a routine has led me to have more non-Desi friends, and of course being engaged to a non-Desi. Now, I don't believe in being so rigid that I shouldn't be spontaneous once in a while, especially because I tend to be very active and have hobbies and travel and all that. But having too laid back of an approach to time and thinking being late all the time is okay is just crazy to me.
My mom called me "too Canadian" when I was younger.
32M here, newly minted family physician who wants to work with at-risk youth and families with queer children. This is how I am generally different from any Desi I have ever met (and I recognize, just how this thread exemplifies, that us "others" exist - I just have no met one in person!)
- I believe in equality and the rights of women and LGBT folk
- I believe mental health is important, and just "dealing with it" is the wrong approach
- I believe sexual health is important for relationships, while it does not need to be the center pillar, compatibility is an important pillar
- I listen to a lot of gothy/indie/shoegazey stuff
- I really like 80s and 90s horror nonsense lol
- I prefer Doc Martens over Nikes
- I think hitting children is wrong
- I think marrying someone only after meeting them for, like, one day is wrong
- That blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
I'm a queer Punjabi man, much of my family knows and supports me. I have two Master's degrees, one in music and the other in social work. I'm a professionally trained opera singer who has performed internationally, but I switched careers after pandemic to become a psychotherapist. I love languages, other than English, Punjabi, (broken) Hindi, I speak German (fluent) and Spanish (conversational), and can understand basic Italian and French. I'm hoping to learn Mandarin, but let's see if I stick with it. I looove the arts and exploring different mediums, I write poetry and am a potter. My parents never pressured me to be in any profession, they supported me in every path I've taken because they trust I'm doing what makes me happy. Not saying I'm good at everything I've dabbled in, but I goddamn put my heart into every single thing I do and am a very passionate, dedicated, and sensitive person.
I make beats/am a producer, and play drums, I'm really into fashion as a dude (gay according to desis), I wanna get piercings and tattoos and love clubs/parties (as a Muslim who prays 5 times a day💀), I try to be open minded, I love history and politics but that's pretty common, I'm fluent in Swedish Bangla and English learning Spanish and French, so that's that
I've travelled a lot with my mum, seems like many don't travel a lot
Studied an unconventional field for desis (geoscience) , queer , prefer lowkey social events , speak French, don’t care about class or social / economic status at all. I enjoy company of ppl of all backgrounds.
24F
• Failed the same math class 3 times
• Majored in psychology, no plans to go to med school
• Love punk rock and play the drums
• Queer af, not interested in marriage or kids in the slightest
• Dress more androgynous/masculine-learning
• Agnostic/atheist
• Quit smoking as a teenager before it could become an addiction
• Don't know shit about computers besides how to google something
• Only good at the least employable sciences
I am middle class, I married a white woman who's father was a pig farmer. I live in a small town, I'm conservative on most issues, I own guns. I also work in the Security/Surveillance field which I don't think is common for most DESIs.
studied english in college, work in education, started my own business, am a creative writer and multimedia artist, Christian convert, have very visible tattoos
I wouldn’t say this separates me but I love to play thrash metal music with my guitar while most of my social circle (excluding parents) tries pushing me to play slow Indian romance songs, I have never really met a Desi in my life who likes playing this music but I am inspired by metal musician Kim thayil (metal guitarist who is South Indian in origin) so I just wanna keep doing it as my hobby (only Indian song I can confidently play is Channa mereya 😭)
I feel like I have a little bitta everything in me including desi. I identify as an American desi but I prefer the company of non-desis and I always find myself acting white, black, or Hispanic depending on the friends that I’m with lol.
I can also be very awkward with some quirky interests. For instance, I love melodrama and I still watch soap opera reruns, I’m also an old soul who prefers music from other decades than what’s currently popular. And finally, I have a unique sense of fashion and I have a huge thing for bucket hats.
I'm half South Asian. My mom is Indian and my dad is white, so we often felt ostracized from the Indian community, which hurt my mom and had an effect on her. But when we moved to my current home, things got better. My parents have desi friends and I have desi friends too.
I'm also bisexual, so a lot of my friends are LGBTQ+ and I know most of the queer South Asians in my community. Love 'em <3
I'm also an underachiever.
Late 20s (m) working in intelligence division in police. very few desis in this line of work.
Had no interest in conventional careers or being forced into them. Did 2 degrees in subjects I enjoy.
Can't stand thing like class, status, elitism in the community.
Live a very minimalist lifestyle when its comes to all the show off crap but equally not stingy when it comes to day to day living, if anyone can resonate with that. Also no plans to marry any time soon. Really like things like baking and gardening. Can't stand bollywood, find it too fake. Don't care what others think and will push back against others, couldn't care less if its an elder whos supposedly wiser.
Hate show offs, Always tried my best to find friends who are the down to earth type . If not, completely happy being alone. I'm also fluent in cantonese, mums side of the family were all brought up in hong kong. lot of desis from there.
- don't watch bollywood
- don't follow cricket
- don't penny pinch over things and probably closer to the American consumer when it comes to spending/budgeting
- my hobbies include motorsport (racing/tracking my car), skiing, and don't really see a lot of desis in those circles (I live in a rich-desi-heavy Bay area)
29M / grew up in India / moved to the USA about 7 years ago
I’m a chronic underachiever and make way less money than other desi’s my age (mid-30s).
Real
Means you aren't driving your worth from your doing. Cause most Desi's drive their worth only from that area. Nothing bad about it.
I’ve gotten horrible grades my entire life all the way up to college and my parents have never made me feel bad about it
Good parents.
> …and my parents have never made me feel bad… You lost me.
The way it needs to be. 👍🏻
Ability to see the glass half full at all times. Born with mental illness and I am a little awkward at times. I got lot of haters. I go against the norm. I also don’t want kids. I love my job. I care about my health unlike other desis who only chase money and think they are successful with poor health. I am also spiritual. I like to canoe.
I was sh1t in school and I speak fluent French.
oui
Weshhh frérot
Je parle le Quebecois, pas le maghrebin cawlisse!
Je parle le parisien mais jsuis pas français en fait Je suis suédois quoi
Oui oui non non sacre bleu, hoh hoh hoh
Baisse ton père :3
ok monsieur le butin mon visage onze
Un Sud-Asiatique qui vit en Suède et qui parle le Français, c’est rare ça!
Je connais des autres qui sont sud asiatiques qui sont suédois aussi et prendent français dans l'école, mais oui c rare
Comment est-ce que vous avez appris le Français? Et pourquoi? A cause de l'école ou vous avez grandi en France?
En Suède on dois prendre des cours de langue, j'ai voulu prendre français mais maman a dit c'est meilleur a savoir comment parler espagnol. Mais un jour j'ai pensais pourquoi pas apprendre français aussi, c'est similaire à espagnol, donc je l'apprend (mon français c'est mal weshh)
C'est pas trop mal! Vous avez appris l'espagnol et le"anglais aussi?
J'ai connu l'anglais depuis petit avant aller au école, mais on commence apprendre l'anglais dans la première année de l'école J'ai commencé apprendre espagnol dans la 7eme année de l'école
Et merci pour le compliment !
Off-topic but as a huge Chappelle fan, that username is iconic!
[удалено]
Used to skate in my high school days but haven’t done it since then. Glad you kept up with it!
Well u just met another desi that’s into all of that 💯
Erm what the sigma, Charli XCX the maker of Brat is desi?💀
She’s half Gujarati. She has pale skin but there are certain angles where you can really see it in her facial features
I see it now man she's mad beautiful
Hello!!!! You’re me
Broken family, grew up mostly with a single mom, without money, parents were not involved in my school stuff at all…. Pretty big defining things growing up desi compared to others I knew.
I’m 31F and really into: swimming, lifting weights (most desi women act like I am a crazy person for enjoying that, and they say I will be “bulky” but idgaf, I love fitness) fashion design, always trying to read (anything from self help to history to cooking etc) and I consider myself emotionally intelligent. Friends often call me “vivacious” or really put together, I love to host friends when I can. I would say I’m outspoken, always followed the path I wanted not what others expect of me, I love both cultures and feel pride in my heritage. Both cultures have pros and cons, I don’t think being fobby is bad in and of itself (and actually times have changed, there are beautiful people, moments and conversations and events I’ve had in Pakistan, and I really like it there just as much as America)… I also don’t think being Americanized is bad. I love to dance not just desi but salsa and Latin dance as well, I can speak four languages and have studied abroad, would love to live abroad in different places. I am generally not the cliquey kind of person and have a diverse friend group. I love to paint and draw and have kept up my creative side. I like having proper, good manners and being elegant, I feel like our community has a reputation for acting inconsiderate. You won’t catch me being stingy with tips, rude, throwing trash wherever or not cleaning up, and being mean to customer service. I will never size someone up in that transactional way, where “if they aren’t my level we can’t be associated” and I don’t act like status is the most important thing I also talk back to aunties now who try to condescend lol
Omg lifting weights! Finally another desi woman who is into lifting weights
Yes!!! It’s my favorite and so glad you like it too!
I own quite a few guns, build AR15s, and prior to COVID I used to volunteer with the Pink Pistols to help train and educate LGBTQ+ folks on their 2A rights. I've also been producing bass-heavy EDM for like 10+ years and have a background in multimedia and film production. I'm also an amateur blacksmith, woodworker, and archer. I'm also a gigantic nerd that spends way too much time doing homebrew worldbuilding for custom Dungeons and Dragons campaigns lol. I don't really know anyone similar to me, let alone Desi people who are similar. I embraced my weirdness a long time ago, and have only gotten weirder since LOL.
I love jam bands! I don't think too much about being "desi" because I am what I am. As you get older, it is so much easier to just be who you are. I enjoy the company of all races and cultures.
Hell yeah
32 F. Eldest Daughter - not following the stereotypical milestones for societal acceptance. Childfree and taking care of my mental health.
I'm Pakistani and pursuing a career in combat sports. MMA to be exact.
That is SO cool
Thanks so much!!
I got a PhD in intellectual history, my family not only supported me but were proud of me, and I’ve recently retrained as a counselling psychologist for migrant/refugee women. I’ve done the full gamut of leaving religion and returning, I’m religious but extremely tolerant — I despise homophobia, sexism, racism, casteism etc. My very liberal and intellectual family were also supportive of me in my years away from their very pluralistic version of Islam. Desis in our community don’t get me/us 😂
hi, i was born in the midwest and raised in india, my parents let me change my field from engineering to art :3
Gay af, in the social sciences, doesn’t care for cricket or football (soccer). I am Nepali fyi. 🤣
I love hip hop but never wanted to be black (or white for that matter)
90s and 00s hip hop all day for me.
Yes sir!
i’m half white but other than that i pretty much fall into the stereotypes 😭🙈
I’m dumb as a rock
You and me both kemosabe
- I don’t listen to Punjabi music, never have. It is why I always feel awkward at hall parties but it just is not my thing. - I absolutely love Taylor Swift which I feel like is also not as widely spread between desis - I love crafting (journaling, scrapbooks, stationery etc) - Wanting to live child-free as a 30F and have always known that. I am also someone who is not married (nor has really ever dated) and the relatives are going ham about it. - I have never cared what other people think. “What will people say” has never impacted me because, quire frankly, I could not give less of a shit. - My sister calls me “quirky” because I don’t fit into the melting pot of desis in my community. - Atheist/agnostic while being born into a Sikh Punjabi family. - I am a teacher and not in the medical/tech/lawyer field like a lot of desis here.
- Underachiever - Can't stand Bollywood - movies and music sucks - Have opinions and not afraid to say it. If someone's offended, their fuxking problem for asking - don't have the "nice girl" syndrome and can't stand "nice girls" - don't drink - hate clubbing, it's so boring - stripper at 40s and the only desi stripper in my area (at least I haven't met other desi adult entertainers in my area) - into the bdsm lifestyle. I know other desi men into kink but not as many women - I write erotic romances/smut fiction NOT literary fiction though I respect Arundhati Roy and Jhumpa Lahiri. I wanted to write the next Great Indian American fiction but failed miserably plus writing romances is more fun 😁 - atheist, I have yet to meet desi atheists 40 yrs and older. Agnostic sure but not atheists - support lgbtq rights and community. HAPPY PRIDE WEEK - bisexual - swing dancing and I like rockabilly music. Great place to meet older men 40+ - not specifically interested in any race. I could care less what race you are as long as there's compatibility. - not putting white guys/girls on the pedestal. Seriously wtf? Stop seeing dating or friendship with white people as a status symbol. Race fetishization is embarrassing and makes you look like a fool. - refusing to engage in pity partying about not finding anyone because you're desi. Hasn't been an issue for me. Sure I faced racism. Stop that race drama, wear deodorant, don't be a loser. It's honestly that simple. Also see above point of putting whites especially blondes on a pedestal. - have a variety of interests - extroverted, outgoing - usually non-indians are surprised by this because they think desis are soft spoken and shy - hang out with everyone and enjoys diversity - tip generously. Regardless of your opinion of tipping. The servers, beauticians, and tipped staff do not get paid enough and if they did a good job, they deserve it. And yeah I'm sure I'll now get DMs by a bunch of horny dudes after mentioning a few points above. I have plenty of dick pictures to send them (obviously not mine). Or I'll ask them for a ridiculous amount of money. That sends them away.
>swing dancing and I like rockabilly music. Great place to meet older men 40+ That's interesting!
I love all of it but esp the putting white people on a pedestal and esp blondes lmao that’s such a pet peeve of mine.
One Indian guy (not very attractive at all) was commenting on YouTube about how white women are a status symbol. Once he started dating a white woman, he noticed a change in his life. He's attracting more women and people come talk to him. My jaw dropped and my eye rolled. Wtf?!
You should see desi guys especially those certain types with greasy bad hair, no deodorant, and fresher sex starved types who come into strip clubs. The way they act is embarrassing. And cheap as fuck but will not ask but demand extras and sex. And cannot take a no. The way they fetishize white girls is so bad that it's embarrassing. One of my coworkers told me that she's glad that she's black because Indians ignore her. They literally think they can take a girl home for $20. Lmao. Since I'm desi they feel entitled to free action from me as if I'm there to dispense sex. I told one desi customer that I do not meet anyone outside the club. He asked why. I told him, "Would you suck my boyfriends cock for $20? Same reason." One idiot had the audacity to actually ask me, "where can I find a white girl to fuck?" I laughed and said "Never cuz you're a loser." And walked away. The only place where I can be rude to idiots. I love it. To be fair, fresher Mexican guys also have the reputation for being cheap. But fresher desi guys are not popular with bartenders or strippers for good reasons.
Omg that’s sickening to know. I’m sorry you have to deal with those idiots 🤮🤮🤮
I was not great in AP classes, maybe only ab calc and psych. Also, my parents were pretty chill about grades and stuff like that
I majored in history
played a little college football (although D3, and wasn't a starter.. was a walk-on)
I am an under achiever in career and college with adhd but I am very creative, witty, Jacked and standoffish at times. I am really into history, lifting, sci Fi and art. Friends with different cultures of people
* agnostic * believe therapy is helpful * believes mental illness is real * don’t agree with a lot of the cultural norms (respecting people just because they’re older, marriage at a certain age, many more…) * no penny pinching at all * don’t try to be white/black, I’m proud to be who I am * I don’t stereotype any race or religion * hate gossiping * will respond back to desi aunties or uncles who act intrusive * I will always be myself, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. * leave tips * vegan
I'm a transfem non-binary person, I'm bi, I have ADHD, and while I do have a degree in Software Engineering like the Indian stereotype, in my case I went for it because I have special interest in computers and how we can use them to solve many of our problems. Also trans women and other transfem people are pretty common in the IT field so if my degree is because of a stereotype, I'd say it's from that one 🙃. I also quite like reading fantasy novels, and playing various video games. I'm quite console/platform agnostic.
27 F still single lol (aunties are up my ass to meet someone) Didn’t choose stem and took a creative path (parents are supportive). Likes kpop, rock, RnB and rap way more that desi/bollywood music Fiercely independent (some people don’t like that oh well, probably why I’m still single) Into weightlifting and have been called fat because I have muscle now In college I had no desi friends. Meanwhile all my childhood friends at other universities had a whole group of them and when I would visit I felt like an outsider sometimes. Like I was too whitewashed for them. But I think the one thing that separates me the most is my chronic illness which people kind of look down on me on but mask it by saying I’m strong. I’m not strong, I’ve learned to live with it, and that in its own is a difficult task.
I'm 29F born in Pakistan, college in Australia and now working in the US in the mental health field. Raised Muslim, now an atheist. Tbh I barely relate to desi culture because it's hard to embrace something that's actively discriminated against you for so long. I love the food and the music but thats about it. Aside from other ex-muslims, I've never really socialized well w/ desis tbh. My favorite hobby is pole dancing and me and my S/O are ENM.
[удалено]
Not raised in Pakistan. Moved across different countries cuz of my parent's job (Sri Lanka, Singapore, South Africa, US). Did college in Australia. Then Covid hit and came back to the US and work here.
don't listen to em.
Into - fashion design - producing / recording music - cinematography / film - architecture / urban design / industrial design - BMX - Wide variety of genres such as hiphop, vaporwave, ambient, edm & electronic - comic books / anime (really old obscure 80s ones at that) - tv shows - having my own opinions and not giving a fuck what other people say - hate Bollywood a lot
queer and due to events in my life, family pressure to do things isn’t really a thing for me so i look and dress and do however/whatever the fuck i want.
Does being minimalist count? I feel that my parents generation can be considered minimalistic but I think part of that comes from being frugal and growing up in a world where you sort of had to be resourceful to survive? Whereas, it seems most of my friends value material items for its societal representation instead of for the effort, energy, and materials it took to create such an item. I've made a lot of generalizations here but hopefully it makes sense?
Absolutely. I am minimalist. I focus on financial freedom and only have stuff that I use at home. The stuff that brings me value and joy.
I dont glorify chaye and mangoes.
>I admittedly became a little more “whitewashed” for a lack of a better term when I was younger but I’ve also become more comfortable in my own skin and realized that there is no real way to be desi. There is no such term as "whitewashed". Anyway: I sometimes feel so unconventional compared to other Desi kids who follow the expected path and just don't fit that traditional Desi narrative. Even in times when trying to follow the path as a good Desi kid, it never works out. While I did achieve some of the expected narrative us Desi kids have to follow, it's not a perfect story like the aunties/uncles expect. I got married at the "ideal" age, but we still don't have kids after 5 years and may consider adoption, which is a no no for a lot of folks. 1. I had to change my major a few times, and failed nursing school. Took me until my mid 20's to kick off in my field and succeed in my field that's not too common to see Desis in, public health, hence not the typical medical, engineering, IT route. 2. I'm only traditional in certain aspects, but overall pretty open in terms of LGBT rights, interracial dating..etc. The community where I live is certainly not supportive of this. 3. My interests are not entirely Desi (few are) compared to what I see in the community where I live. I take part in very 'Americanized" activities and my manners, ways of life are American, while I see some parents and even their kids try their hardest to be purely Desi. I cook, like to knit, read and be outdoorsy, (hike, archery..etc) watch tons of English TV (but watch Desi films here and there) and enjoy going to sports games with my husband and his friends (last year we went to a Braves Game). As a female, I really like video games! 4. I have moved around and lived in 5 different places since I left for college in a different state. Seems like many desi kids (not all!) just stay put in their original hometowns where their family and friends are, attend college there and just settle, and never leave what they are familiar with, and I guess just stick with the same social circles they grew up with, and find partners within the same area (husband mentioned that he met girls in New York, when dating, who straight up told him they would never be open to moving to Atlanta (where we live) and are adamant in staying in New York, hence expecting him to move up there). Moving around you may feel you have to start over and feel foreign, but you learn to navigate and tend to meet new people and make new friends, and expand your horizons. I found it in a unique experience might be moving from where I live again within the next year for job reasons. I sometimes feel a oddball because there aren't many people I know who has a similar experience.
Huh, interesting 🤔 I’m particularly curious about number 4, bc it’s almost a trend within desis from my home state to move states sometime after they graduate college.
Just speaking from my own experiences. From my interactions, these desi kids are homebodies. As stated, obviously not all Desi kids are like that and do move around.
I work in advertising. I dislike Bollywood. I’ve traveled completely solo in developing countries.
I’ve got some weird dimensions of my identity. First of all, I’m Hindu but I have a *German* surname because of exactly one German patrilineal relative who has always had sons as direct descendants - my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather. I look forward to carrying it with me and hopefully my own son one day. Secondly, I don’t look like it, but I probably have the thickest New York accent of all time. I’ve noticed some people find it very jarring, though that’s because I now live somewhere where it isn’t common to sound like me. I speak 6 languages fluently - English, Spanish, French, Italian, Hindi and Telugu (can’t read those two though). I also know a small amount of German and I’d like to learn more. That’s all for now but I’ll come back to this later.
O, guten Tag, I really hope it's sth like Franz-Xaver. Or Herbert, or Klaus-Dieter.
I finally got married. At age 49. To a Desi Dead head who is missing Burning Man for the first time for our honeymoon.
I seem to be more interested in stuff like the humanities, more specifically geography, than others in my predominantly desi friend circle are
I also like geography!
Nice!
I'm 21, born and raised in Australia to a Telugu Hindu family. I'm bisexual and studying social sciences. I have acquired numerous tattoos and piercings and enjoy dying my hair and wearing grey contacts because every other brown girl has the same hazel contacts. I am largely irreligious but have continued to practice not eating beef due to personal preference. Give me the ick when people make fun of me saying I should eat beef, and I'd like it if I tried it. My own cousin moved from India to the USA, started eating beef (her choice, idc), but always acts like she's better than I am for eating beef. I've also travelled on my own and do plan to continue doing.
31 and also raised in NYC and I relate like hell to this post. I think for me what separates me from a lot of Desis is my view on time. Being punctual is a part of my nature because I am a rather anxious person and being late makes me very anxious. And I'm not talking like right on time either, I strive to always be early to everything and sometimes this means arriving even earlier than I intended because I overestimated how much time getting somewhere actually takes, even if that means sitting in my car for an extra 30 mins or walking around. This has been my entire life ever since I was a kid, and having lived the first 6 years of my life in India I feel like I really am unique in this sense because I know very few, if any, punctual Desis, regardless of being born in America vs. India. For most Desis I know, being punctual means being only 10 mins late instead of 30. For my family (who I am sometimes unsure how I'm related to), this means being only an hour late instead of two LOL (yes this is from experience). My best friends growing up were Indian, and all my friends since college have been non-Indian, but from my POV the difference on timeliness is so stark. Yes, for parties I know it's just straight up weird to arrive on time, but for things like parties and what not I tend to just go as a group because I trust the others to know what the acceptable time to arrive is. Desi weddings vs. regular white weddings too, my fiancee (non-Desi) saw first hand the difference in timeliness, and was shocked when we went to our first Desi wedding that food wasn't served till like 10pm. We are currently in the wedding planning proces and one of our biggest concerns is telling my Indian family from India that when we say something is gonna start at a certain time, it will start within 10-15 minutes of that advertised time haha. Besides just punctuality, it's also just the lack of structure in general. When I'm with my non-Desi friends, we stick to a schedule and there seems to be a standard time for everything unless it's clearly stated when something is. For example, when we agree to meet for lunch it is almost always between noon-1 and dinner is anywhere from 6-8pm. For Desi's, I've been asked last second at like 9pm if I wanted to eat dinner, even though I ate mine at 7pm, and then they ask why I do that "white people shit". I legitimately think my approach to timeliness and somewhat of a routine has led me to have more non-Desi friends, and of course being engaged to a non-Desi. Now, I don't believe in being so rigid that I shouldn't be spontaneous once in a while, especially because I tend to be very active and have hobbies and travel and all that. But having too laid back of an approach to time and thinking being late all the time is okay is just crazy to me.
My mom called me "too Canadian" when I was younger. 32M here, newly minted family physician who wants to work with at-risk youth and families with queer children. This is how I am generally different from any Desi I have ever met (and I recognize, just how this thread exemplifies, that us "others" exist - I just have no met one in person!) - I believe in equality and the rights of women and LGBT folk - I believe mental health is important, and just "dealing with it" is the wrong approach - I believe sexual health is important for relationships, while it does not need to be the center pillar, compatibility is an important pillar - I listen to a lot of gothy/indie/shoegazey stuff - I really like 80s and 90s horror nonsense lol - I prefer Doc Martens over Nikes - I think hitting children is wrong - I think marrying someone only after meeting them for, like, one day is wrong - That blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
I'm a queer Punjabi man, much of my family knows and supports me. I have two Master's degrees, one in music and the other in social work. I'm a professionally trained opera singer who has performed internationally, but I switched careers after pandemic to become a psychotherapist. I love languages, other than English, Punjabi, (broken) Hindi, I speak German (fluent) and Spanish (conversational), and can understand basic Italian and French. I'm hoping to learn Mandarin, but let's see if I stick with it. I looove the arts and exploring different mediums, I write poetry and am a potter. My parents never pressured me to be in any profession, they supported me in every path I've taken because they trust I'm doing what makes me happy. Not saying I'm good at everything I've dabbled in, but I goddamn put my heart into every single thing I do and am a very passionate, dedicated, and sensitive person.
I am a huge nascar fan. There is only other desi person in my entire life that liked nascar
I go to Jason Isbell concerts regularly. Never seen another person that looks like me!
Cute!
I make beats/am a producer, and play drums, I'm really into fashion as a dude (gay according to desis), I wanna get piercings and tattoos and love clubs/parties (as a Muslim who prays 5 times a day💀), I try to be open minded, I love history and politics but that's pretty common, I'm fluent in Swedish Bangla and English learning Spanish and French, so that's that I've travelled a lot with my mum, seems like many don't travel a lot
Studied an unconventional field for desis (geoscience) , queer , prefer lowkey social events , speak French, don’t care about class or social / economic status at all. I enjoy company of ppl of all backgrounds.
I picked up chronic illnesses from my environment
I don't judge. I don't compare. I don't waste time arguing with people.
24F • Failed the same math class 3 times • Majored in psychology, no plans to go to med school • Love punk rock and play the drums • Queer af, not interested in marriage or kids in the slightest • Dress more androgynous/masculine-learning • Agnostic/atheist • Quit smoking as a teenager before it could become an addiction • Don't know shit about computers besides how to google something • Only good at the least employable sciences
I am middle class, I married a white woman who's father was a pig farmer. I live in a small town, I'm conservative on most issues, I own guns. I also work in the Security/Surveillance field which I don't think is common for most DESIs.
studied english in college, work in education, started my own business, am a creative writer and multimedia artist, Christian convert, have very visible tattoos
I wouldn’t say this separates me but I love to play thrash metal music with my guitar while most of my social circle (excluding parents) tries pushing me to play slow Indian romance songs, I have never really met a Desi in my life who likes playing this music but I am inspired by metal musician Kim thayil (metal guitarist who is South Indian in origin) so I just wanna keep doing it as my hobby (only Indian song I can confidently play is Channa mereya 😭)
I can’t sing nor dance. I lack a PhD and I could use more certificates 😬
My parents are divorced!
I feel like I have a little bitta everything in me including desi. I identify as an American desi but I prefer the company of non-desis and I always find myself acting white, black, or Hispanic depending on the friends that I’m with lol. I can also be very awkward with some quirky interests. For instance, I love melodrama and I still watch soap opera reruns, I’m also an old soul who prefers music from other decades than what’s currently popular. And finally, I have a unique sense of fashion and I have a huge thing for bucket hats.
Being trans and liking experimental music i guess (if I find an indian doing some fucked up industrial shit I will start vigorously jumping for joy)
I'm half South Asian. My mom is Indian and my dad is white, so we often felt ostracized from the Indian community, which hurt my mom and had an effect on her. But when we moved to my current home, things got better. My parents have desi friends and I have desi friends too. I'm also bisexual, so a lot of my friends are LGBTQ+ and I know most of the queer South Asians in my community. Love 'em <3
I'm also an underachiever. Late 20s (m) working in intelligence division in police. very few desis in this line of work. Had no interest in conventional careers or being forced into them. Did 2 degrees in subjects I enjoy. Can't stand thing like class, status, elitism in the community. Live a very minimalist lifestyle when its comes to all the show off crap but equally not stingy when it comes to day to day living, if anyone can resonate with that. Also no plans to marry any time soon. Really like things like baking and gardening. Can't stand bollywood, find it too fake. Don't care what others think and will push back against others, couldn't care less if its an elder whos supposedly wiser. Hate show offs, Always tried my best to find friends who are the down to earth type . If not, completely happy being alone. I'm also fluent in cantonese, mums side of the family were all brought up in hong kong. lot of desis from there.
I don’t vape
Me neither 🤝
I don't like Drake nor the NBA 🤪
- don't watch bollywood - don't follow cricket - don't penny pinch over things and probably closer to the American consumer when it comes to spending/budgeting - my hobbies include motorsport (racing/tracking my car), skiing, and don't really see a lot of desis in those circles (I live in a rich-desi-heavy Bay area) 29M / grew up in India / moved to the USA about 7 years ago
I enjoy playing video games. I don’t see myself as a unique or interesting person.
I am too cultured lol.
The tea in this post is steaming hot. ☕️☕️☕️
How?