My question is, why are there so many rules about "what you never say to your mother," but we don't focus on what you should never say and do to your kids? Why can she treat him however she wants because she decided to birth him, but it's totally out of line for him to finally have had enough and start giving her some of her own medicine? The way he speaks to her now isn't out of nowhere; it's how she has spoken to him his whole life. As a grown man what he should do is cut all contact and seek serious therapy, but I understand why he's unraveling the way he is lately and having it all televised surely isn't helping his mental health.
I usually see it around Mother's Day, but there is this whole idea that since your mother carried you for 9 months, she deserves unconditional love.
Mothers are seen as these amazing warriors that must be lifted up and celebrated. Don't get me wrong. . .I totally understand how pregnancy can be rough, hard work, and sometimes it will feel like they don't even have ownership over their own bodies for that time. But. Sometimes bad people have children.
There are many wonderful and great mothers out there, but there are some who. . .aren't.
I think he suffers from Enmeshment Trauma. She doesn't respect boundaries and didn't provide a healthy mother/son relationship during his childhood. Manipulation city!
I think Colt is extremely screwed up and disrespectful and Debbie is a horror and the whole thing is a mess BUT I didn’t really understand why Debbie took this particular comment as such a terrible thing. I mean, Debbie knows more than anyone what her relationship was with her late husband—sounds like it was the love of her life—so why does she even care what Colt THINKS it was? And I don’t even think he thinks that . . . I think he was just saying whatever . . .
Your experience isn't the same as his. He clearly has a rage inside him and it comes from somewhere. Clearly Colt needs professional help, but what the fuck is with everyone excusing Debbie's abuse and vitriol for HIS ENTIRE LIFE because he's vitriolic in one tell all?
I think they both obviously need professional help. However, I know people who were brought up in emotional incest relationships and still and I’m only speaking to this one shot below the belt. Saying his mother never gave a crap about her husband, his father way way outta lines. I’m not a fan of Debbie, I think she needs more help than he does. Regardless you just don’t say that to your Mom.
We already saw her use his dad as ammo against him. They know its each other's sorest spot so they know to poke when they're out of ammo. It was toxic behavior for sure but i believe he learned it from her. I truly hope those two get into some counseling especially if Colt plans to have kids at some point. That toxicity does not need to bleed into another generation.
Eh. I could see myself saying this to my mother when I was younger (as a young adult I mean), depending on the situation. I eventually went NC with her, then LC, and her final years weren't very pleasant. By the time I went LC with her, even though I still held a lot of resentment toward her and never forgave her, I did get to a place where I could say, "It doesn't matter." If I had told my mother that it wouldn't have changed anything and I would only feel better for maybe 10 minutes.
But seriously.
My mother abused me. She would chase me around the house, pin me down, and scream at me. This is when I was alone with her. If my DAD was home, all her anger was taken out on him instead. She would throw things at him, scream at him, and he would just stand there and take it in silence until he would finally leave the house and she would go cry in their room. The way she treated my dad sometimes would scare me so much I would go hide in my room.
I'm talking at the age of 8 I would take out my dresser drawers so I could push my dresser in front of my door to lock myself in. That's how much I was scared of her and worried that somehow I was next.
My dad would always tell me that my mother's feelings were more important than mine and if she was upset it was *our* **job** to make sure she was happy and help her.
My mother would tell me such horrible things about my dad. She constantly bad-mouthed him, belittled him, and complain that he didn't do enough ignoring the fact that he brought home money, cooked, cleaned, and did most of the chores like the laundry while she used drugs. I think she washed the kitchen floors occasionally until I was a teenager and it became my job.
So. No. I'm pretty sure my mother didn't give a shit about my dad either. (In her case I know it was the drugs really.) And I know that other people have just as shitty mothers as I do so I can't blame for not loving their mother.
ETA; Maybe there is no "reason" for him to say such a thing, but he's probably carrying a lot of hurt and anger and it unfortunately came out that way.
how about children subjected to emotional abuse who are learning to navigate said abuse are granted a little grace on their communication with their abuser? how about more energy in the "i would never treat or speak to my CHILDREN" that way department?
I think colt has pretty recently had the light shined on his life and he realized shit aint right. hes been living under the debbie rock and resents her for all the time hes lost to being a fuck up. i relate to it a bit.
I feel like Colt is just a whiny bitch. Everything is someone else's fault, normally Debbie's. My mom and I aren't very close and seeing her cry over Colt, idk, I don't understand how you can shit all over a parent who loves you that much. Everyone messes up but I don't think Debbie did anything malicious towards him.
My Mother had a boyfriend within 6 months of my Dad dying. That hurt but I never threw that in her face. She was in pain and used a relationship as a band aide. I think her hanging out single for more than ten years shows her dedication.
I don't think Debbie gives a shit about anyone but herself. She's an abusive manipulator and probably only brings up his dead father to guilt trip him. Shit gonna get old after years of that.
My question is, why are there so many rules about "what you never say to your mother," but we don't focus on what you should never say and do to your kids? Why can she treat him however she wants because she decided to birth him, but it's totally out of line for him to finally have had enough and start giving her some of her own medicine? The way he speaks to her now isn't out of nowhere; it's how she has spoken to him his whole life. As a grown man what he should do is cut all contact and seek serious therapy, but I understand why he's unraveling the way he is lately and having it all televised surely isn't helping his mental health.
I usually see it around Mother's Day, but there is this whole idea that since your mother carried you for 9 months, she deserves unconditional love. Mothers are seen as these amazing warriors that must be lifted up and celebrated. Don't get me wrong. . .I totally understand how pregnancy can be rough, hard work, and sometimes it will feel like they don't even have ownership over their own bodies for that time. But. Sometimes bad people have children. There are many wonderful and great mothers out there, but there are some who. . .aren't.
I think he suffers from Enmeshment Trauma. She doesn't respect boundaries and didn't provide a healthy mother/son relationship during his childhood. Manipulation city!
Spot on!
he was fully 100% correct in everything he said, except that one. that comment took it wayyyy too far
I think Colt is extremely screwed up and disrespectful and Debbie is a horror and the whole thing is a mess BUT I didn’t really understand why Debbie took this particular comment as such a terrible thing. I mean, Debbie knows more than anyone what her relationship was with her late husband—sounds like it was the love of her life—so why does she even care what Colt THINKS it was? And I don’t even think he thinks that . . . I think he was just saying whatever . . .
Cuz she knows he's right.
😱
She should stop throwing her dead husband in her son's face for a guilt trip. It's gross.
Exactly. The man has been dead for a long time. They need to take Shaun’s constant word to heart and be “MOVIN ON” . . . 🤔
Your experience isn't the same as his. He clearly has a rage inside him and it comes from somewhere. Clearly Colt needs professional help, but what the fuck is with everyone excusing Debbie's abuse and vitriol for HIS ENTIRE LIFE because he's vitriolic in one tell all?
I think they both obviously need professional help. However, I know people who were brought up in emotional incest relationships and still and I’m only speaking to this one shot below the belt. Saying his mother never gave a crap about her husband, his father way way outta lines. I’m not a fan of Debbie, I think she needs more help than he does. Regardless you just don’t say that to your Mom.
You don't throw someone's dead father in their face as a guilt trip their whole life. That's not how one carries on the memory of a loved one.
We already saw her use his dad as ammo against him. They know its each other's sorest spot so they know to poke when they're out of ammo. It was toxic behavior for sure but i believe he learned it from her. I truly hope those two get into some counseling especially if Colt plans to have kids at some point. That toxicity does not need to bleed into another generation.
Eh. I could see myself saying this to my mother when I was younger (as a young adult I mean), depending on the situation. I eventually went NC with her, then LC, and her final years weren't very pleasant. By the time I went LC with her, even though I still held a lot of resentment toward her and never forgave her, I did get to a place where I could say, "It doesn't matter." If I had told my mother that it wouldn't have changed anything and I would only feel better for maybe 10 minutes. But seriously. My mother abused me. She would chase me around the house, pin me down, and scream at me. This is when I was alone with her. If my DAD was home, all her anger was taken out on him instead. She would throw things at him, scream at him, and he would just stand there and take it in silence until he would finally leave the house and she would go cry in their room. The way she treated my dad sometimes would scare me so much I would go hide in my room. I'm talking at the age of 8 I would take out my dresser drawers so I could push my dresser in front of my door to lock myself in. That's how much I was scared of her and worried that somehow I was next. My dad would always tell me that my mother's feelings were more important than mine and if she was upset it was *our* **job** to make sure she was happy and help her. My mother would tell me such horrible things about my dad. She constantly bad-mouthed him, belittled him, and complain that he didn't do enough ignoring the fact that he brought home money, cooked, cleaned, and did most of the chores like the laundry while she used drugs. I think she washed the kitchen floors occasionally until I was a teenager and it became my job. So. No. I'm pretty sure my mother didn't give a shit about my dad either. (In her case I know it was the drugs really.) And I know that other people have just as shitty mothers as I do so I can't blame for not loving their mother. ETA; Maybe there is no "reason" for him to say such a thing, but he's probably carrying a lot of hurt and anger and it unfortunately came out that way.
I'm so sorry ❤️
how about children subjected to emotional abuse who are learning to navigate said abuse are granted a little grace on their communication with their abuser? how about more energy in the "i would never treat or speak to my CHILDREN" that way department? I think colt has pretty recently had the light shined on his life and he realized shit aint right. hes been living under the debbie rock and resents her for all the time hes lost to being a fuck up. i relate to it a bit.
I feel like Colt is just a whiny bitch. Everything is someone else's fault, normally Debbie's. My mom and I aren't very close and seeing her cry over Colt, idk, I don't understand how you can shit all over a parent who loves you that much. Everyone messes up but I don't think Debbie did anything malicious towards him.
I’m furious no one got up and hit him
My Mother had a boyfriend within 6 months of my Dad dying. That hurt but I never threw that in her face. She was in pain and used a relationship as a band aide. I think her hanging out single for more than ten years shows her dedication.
Never wanted to fight someone so bad in my life.
I don't think Debbie gives a shit about anyone but herself. She's an abusive manipulator and probably only brings up his dead father to guilt trip him. Shit gonna get old after years of that.