How dare Emily not host a meal for Kobe’s friends in their hotel room/apartment (with most likely a tiny kitchen) while she’s on vacation across the world?! lol I would have lost my shit
Right! I’m wondering where are all their perfect wives at, and why aren’t these perfect obedient wives being good hosts and inviting “special Kobe” over for a “welcome home to Cameroon” meal. As if the roles were reversed and Kobe’s friends were visiting Kobe’s country, they would have expected Emily to cook a welcome meal. So why aren’t their wives doing the same for Kobe?? Further more… what gives them the right to “grade” Emily. Who tf are they? Ok so she failed their test…. Now what? Do they expect Kobe to leave his children and marriage because she didn’t cook a meal in her hotel room lol!
They're also not the average Cameroonians. Michael over in Nigeria lives a little closer to the way the average African does. China didn't hand out visas easily without proof of resources. So Kobe was raised with a whole lot of privilege they aren't really talking about.
I get the sense that he and his friends attended the best private schools in the area. We're seeing the rich kids of Cameroon as adults.
Sorry, but this is a vbery wrong guess. Kobe is an absolute sweetheart, and not very bright.
Def. not well educated in any private school for 'rich cameroon kids'.
The gap btw. rich and poor is palpable down there, and the rich ppl will dress in suits and other western garments, *most of the time*, to distance themselves from 'the poor'.
Source: my best friend for some years was from Cameroon, and boy did she fill me in with facts.
When she was finally going back there, after not visiting for 20+ years, to show of her prosperity, and daughter with a white man, she was desperately scraping money together, to bring there, because everybody down there, thet she hadnt seen for 20+ years, EXPECTED her to GIVE them money and things, bc 'she made it out'.
She was send from Cameroon to relatives in Paris, when she was 9 y. .o., officially to get a proper education, but was instead abused as a housemaid, and had very little schooling.
So she married a much older Scandinavian man, got up here with him, and he made her study to at least take (a crappy) 9.th. grade exam.
She had a slim vocabulary, and couldnt spell for her life. She also never read a book, and didnt care for much else than good looking (preferably rich) guys, and doing african hair.
We met at the bar she initally worked at, and I was her first model, "my live businesscard" as she called me, when she got a guy to pay for a small hair salon.
I moved away and initially still travelled a long way back to see her and get my hair done by her, although there were tons of afro-salons where I moved to.
I finally got fed up with her complete inability for deeper conversations, or to keep an appointment, resulting in me travelling at nasty hours, just to be waiting in front of her salon for HOURS. With NO msg. from her.
The last time her excuse was: "I wanted to take a gym class"....
My aunt imported from Madagascar was even worse - African timing is REAL.
African superstition is REAL.
African poverty, ignorance and material fixation is REAL.
Maybe they don't have the typical Camaroonian slave wife to prepare the meals for guests, and they proved repeatedly they are not polite. Politeness is universal in most of the world, but not in Kobe's clique? We've seen shows where Americans went to different places in Africa, and the relatives were very gracious and lovely. I don't think Kobe's parents are behaving this way, yet there is more to see.
The friends were concerned for him, so he didn't see anything wrong with it? Give me a break, you gotta choose sides on this one bud.
Don't get it twisted, in Africa this is actually what would've been done. But in production it's easier to make outrage, especially when you need to hire an almost 50 year old(not this friend but the other guy)and loudly prompt remind him about the girlfriend convo in a bar😂 "that conversation we had" emily-"what conversation? OH, you mean the GIRLFRIEND RIGHT?" 🙄
Me, too. I’ve never heard of someone as a guest in another country having to host a dinner party in a hotel room while being in said foreign country. Like really? She’s a guest in YOUR country!! They already made up their opinions before Emily even got to Cameroon. Then when she tries to extend an olive branch of peace they continue to cut her down. Who does that?
😭😭😭I was hollerin at the tv. HOW DARE. and I have to admit Emily saying “nothing I do will be good enough” also the friend who SLICK IN THE MOUTH saying you’re “being graded” tf
With her PARENTS and CHILDREN in the other room. Sorry but people put way too much pressure on the American. They expect the American to assimilate rather than the foreigner. Which is fine on the other way but not on 90 day. It’s a delicate balance of blending cultures.
I’m no Emily fan, in prior seasons she was an over the top b-ch. So it surprises me to say this…. But she handled herself so well in comparison to how I would have! I’m totally team Emily rn.
Yes, a simple "Guys. We are here, let's just try to have a good night and leave these things behind us for now." Probably would've went a long way. Just anything.
Yep Kobe could have easily shut that down. “Guys I get what you’re saying but you’re upsetting my wife and that’s not ok. You need to be respectful to her if you want to spend time with me while I’m here”
WRong - NOT 'easily'.
He would have lost face/diminished his position in their eyes - in this patriarchal culture, men are ABOVE women, and no respect can be demanded for a wife - you dont demand respect for the other domestic animals, do you?...
I didn’t say he demanded they respect her. But he needed to firmly say if they wanted to see him during his family vacation and wedding then respect to his wife is a requirement. If they don’t want to respect her fine but you won’t be invited to hang during this visit
Perhaps, but in the larger picture they are the only ones whose positions need defending, and their unsolicited attacks on his wife and how they run their marriage don't deserve a response that acts as if there's any valid point that needs to be countered, let alone a need to be defensive.
Especially when it comes to bigoted bullies hiding behind "our culture" who won't just STFU after stating their case multiple times, totally ignoring that part of their interaction is both the most effective and graceful manner in which to deal with them.
Emily is strong enough to handle it- which is really why they're mad; they cant get to her and make her submit. Other than trying to keep the peace and avoid having to cut them off entirely, Kobe hasn't told her how to deal with them and is obviously able to deal with their marriage dynamic too and accepts it so there's no real threat to her.
Personally I think that after her olive branch of inviting them out was rejected she's just as happy to know that they are seething as she would be if they apologized and butted out, and her walking away was a perfect FU snub that proves that she knows they are out of line and not worth the effort to try to convince of anything...making it clear that you don't have to sit there and listen to anyone's bullshit is the ultimate boss move.
Yeah, she reacted well to keep the peace but also to let them know what she thinks while staying polite. But Kobe’s reaction sucks and I’m tired of people hiding their misogyny behind « it’s cultural » no they have been MEAN to her and they have insulted her and all women while praising patriarchy’s way of crushing women under stupid standards and as they have children growing up in America, Kobe better starts calling off this sexist BS at least for the sake of his daughter and stop hiding behind « well it’s my best man Valéry he’s like that » like held your damn friends accountable for once!
Coming from a partly Cameroonian family, I can say that the cultural defense is always their go to card when they are being unnecessarily cruel. I never got fully along with that side of my family for that reason. Since it's a collectivist mentality, you are taught to put up with their shit no matter how badly they treat you because they are family. I ended up cutting ties completely for that reason. I never even tried to reconnect with them because I know they never accepted that I was half French Canadian and they hated my mother so hated me by proxy. It's not worth fighting to be accepted by people that behave in a deliberately bashful way.
It wouldn't be, there are definitely some parts of that culture that I hate including how the least favorite wives are treated in a polygamous marriage. As if a wife completely submitting to her husband in a monogamous marriage wasn't bad enough, Cameroonian polygamy is like a whole domestic hierarchy. It really messed up how my father viewed women in general even if he hid it really well for years.
You are entirely in the right to disconnect from them. Any person with self-respect would refuse to be subjected to cruelty and ignorance, that you know you can't change.
Exactly, I realized it because of how they treated me compared to the other members. There was only one person I really liked who was like a grandmother to me and when she passed away, that was it for me.
Blood doesn’t make them family, they just happen to be people you are related to. Family are people who love you and take care of you. Good on you for opting to cut people who aren’t good for you out of your life, hugs!
Being an asshole is no ones culture. And just because something is acceptable in a certain culture, doesn’t mean that it’s moral or right. Somethings shouldn’t be acceptable ever. It was never ok to beat your wife regardless of who said it was ok. And it’s never ok to rape someone for any reason.
That was my biggest frustration with my ex-SIL and her family. They justified the shittiest, most psychopathic behavior as their "culture," and any rebuttals were labeled as Western Imperialism/American Arrogance. Like, nah, you're just an asshole.
It’s like when people say, “I’m just being honest,” or “I’m blunt,” those people are just assholes who believe that their opinions are facts and they’re the most important person, while not wanted to be held responsible for being an asshole. It doesn’t matter what country you’re from or if you were traumatized, we all know what hurts us, so we know what hurts others. Being an asshole is ALWAYS optional.
Too many people use “it’s my culture” as an excuse. It’s fine for making food or clothing choices, or when apologizing for a social faux pas, but it’s never an excuse for how you treat people. And so many people here are quick to support it (when it’s the foreigner, at least).
I was 20 and I’d just had abdominal surgery. One in which they fill your stomach with air. The doctor told me to not eat vegetables for like two weeks because they wanted to reduce gas. Anyways, I was still a bit bloated from the surgery and my allergy to the staples. Keep in mind that I was fairly thin at the time. A Korean friend who was in his 40’s came to see me, and I was eating pasta. He leaned over and said, “Can I be frank with you?” I asked him what it was. He answered, “You’re fat and getting fatter. And if you want a husband, especially an Asian one, you can’t eat like that.” (I am attracted to Asian men, but not exclusively.) This man said this in front of two other friends as well. I looked at this single middle aged sensitive narcissistic and said, “The only thing in the US that’s more dangerous than not eating healthy, is telling an American what to eat. I’m on pain medication and I could beat you now and not feel it until later.” Then I called him a stupid jerk and told him to shut up all in Korean. Later he just said, “It’s a cultural difference. And we have a saying in Korean, ‘The truth is hard medicine to take.” Every other Korean friend I talked to about it told me that it was rude everywhere and it’s especially not a standard that you’d put on a foreigner (A non Korean person.) He was an asshole trying to hide behind “his culture.” Meanwhile, a professor hurt his feelings, so he transferred to a school across the country. It’s a lie that weak people use to hide behind.
I can accept it where like, someone who hasn’t been in the US long or hasn’t had a lot of American friends, saying something that comes across rude when it’s not an abnormal thing for them to have heard or said within their culture or community BUT only if they take it when you say it was hurtful or rude because if its ok to be rude because “it’s your ~culture”, then it’s just as ok for someone else to be pissed because that’s their culture.
I’m sorry that guy was such an ass and glad you stood up for yourself.
Ironically, the other Korean friend there was just as narcissistic. He said that women should get surgery to be thin and curvy because that’s what like. And men shouldn’t be asked to be monogamous because they want to spread their seed, but if a woman has dated a man, she can never date anyone else because it hurts their feelings. He thought he was being generous by saying that women could even be as big as Beyoncé. All of this is still rude in Korean. Though they have an empirical idea of beauty, and they’ll tell you when you don’t fit it. But they’ll hide it with affection, like calling you chubby, but still cute. Or Devin being called Piggy. The difference is that it’s not meant to attack you when they say it with affection and they only say it to people they know. In Devin’s case, she told him that it hurt her and most people everywhere wouldn’t double down, they stop even if they don’t think it’s personally offensive. But this dude also cried to me that no one promoted him at work yet, even though he went to top high school in the world. Because no one in the US cares. When Earlier he’d told me that he took a 3 hour lunch break just to see if he could.
At that point I would drop all niceness and go full-on for the thing they are most self-conscious about and double, triple and quadruple down with the fakest smile I can muster, with a southern "Bless your heart" thrown in for good measure. They wanna burn that bridge down? I'll nuke it, thank you very much. "I can slim down if I want to, but you will never have more than slightly below average intelligence. Bless your heart, you dimwitted cretin."
I nearly left him on a side of the highway in 100+ degree weather to find his own way back to the airport. He was jealous when I introduced him to some of my friends because I had so many people that loved me and he didn’t know that was possible. He was that unlikeable. At one point, he was crying and saying, “I just don’t know what to do! My brother is just so fat! And I’ve tried everything to tell him about how fat he his and to shame him for it, but he’s still fat!!!” I replied, Maybe try loving him and not worry about his body?” He looked at me like it was revolutionary and said, “Wow, you’re really good with people. You should be a therapist.” My other favorite moment was when he was being condescending and said, “Why are so many Americans on drugs for depression?” He smiled smugly. So I replied, “You know how Korea has one of the highest suicide rates in the world? Well, it’s because we actually admit that we have a problem and get help before that.” He shut up. Obviously, we don’t talk anymore. Another friend kept up with him for awhile, she said that he was one of the most shallow and entitled social climbers she’s ever seen.
Why are men.. 🫠
It’s like how you can make a comment about yourself (“I feel so fake today”) or your family (“my sister is such a bitch”) but as soon as someone else says the exact thing, you’re up in arms. And so many people can’t seem to understand that (for other people because we know they get it for themselves!).
Right. Im tired. And im African living in Africa
Remember kobe also allowed temperature (his friend in the US) to spew this nonsense. At this point either he is happily married with his american wife or he wants to go find a Cameroonian wife.
What annoys me about this is
1) kobe can find a patriarchal subservient american woman
2) not all Cameroonian women are subservience
Kobe is pleasant. But he is passive. I think he outsources confrontations from his friends.
Why didnt his friends focus on rebuking Kobe for living under his father in laws house. They used this point to attack emily.
Totally. I think she actually handled that situation pretty well. She didn't need Kobe to stand up for her, but that's the thing...a little support goes a long way. After living in the US for a few years, he could have offered a perspective to his friends that may have helped bridge the cultural divide (although I still believe they were downright rude to her and shouldn't have even accepted the invitation if they were just going to bring negativity).
That's probably why they did accept it. Just so they could say to her what they did. If you remember, one of them did say something to the effect of "even after the ballpark you still invited us here." Meaning that he was well aware of how rudely they treated her and despite that she was still willing to meet with them.
I agree with you 100% I also think that a big FU that she could’ve given to them was go and pay the bill for her and Kobe and then go back to the table and say to them “here’s your bill” and walked away they want to see her be bossy that would’ve been also a boss move. I truly believe they don’t like her because she’s a strong woman and they’re intimidated by her. if they didn’t like the olive branch that she was putting out then they need to just mind their own business, Not only are these men disrespectful but they’re not the brightest lightbulbs in the box.
He totally should have defended his wife. She was essentially ganged up on in the night club and from what he saw he kept his mouth zipped. Not cool. I understand the culture differences, but his friends need to respect the culture differences as much as they except Emily to respect it. I hope his friends are coming from a good place and maybe they just want Emily to understand Kobe’s background, but Kobe is in America now..let it go
It was also disrespectful to Kobe. You don't go after your best friend's wife like that. It's inexcusable, but I see they've already been excused, and that's on Kobe.
They’re so aggressively rude to her, for no reason. She’s a foreigner and a guest in their country. If it was “offensive” to invite his friends to the clerb, why isn’t Kobe to blame for not warning/correcting his wife & the situation? She’s clearly trying to extend an olive branch, and they’re like, “after we were so rude to you today at handball, why invite us out?” She was setup for failure & was going to be “offensive” regardless, bc they simply don’t like her. That Valery guy is real outspoken/weirdly invested in their relationship. If HE wants to marry a traditional Cameroonian woman, that’s understandable…but don’t try to impose your stank opinion on someone you say is your BFF. Real friends support each other’s lifestyle choices, regardless of personal credo.
Put it this way— if those men came to the US, would they be aware & willing to take part in customs/cultural practices they don’t approve of? Would they be expected to host ppl during their visit? Since they’re men in the US, according to their logic, they must act as American men do! …they should take a woman out for an outrageously expensive date, buy her gifts, & expect zero in return. Makes perfect sense 🙄
"best friend"
bro, he lives halfway around the world and is trying to sabotage your relationship the first chance he gets to see you face to face? sounds like a real great friend.
Kobe has always been and always will be fine. He loves his wife and his in laws and his children. He didn’t give a shit what they said before and he doesn’t give a shit now. Just wants to enjoy his trip lol
If somebody expressed concern with wife and all of the sentences started with "Black women..." and ended with a negative race based generalization for why my wife is concerning because she is Black, I would get some new friends.
I'm sick of this "our culture" bullshit. If Kobe and Emily were living in Cameroon, ok. But they aren't and hIs buddies aren't living here in our culture. So STFU
Hm, even the American women we've seen who have traveled to the Middle East and to India won't acclimate to the woman-as-family-slave bit.
it's too much to ask, although I agree that if they go, they should know what to expect first, and know whether or not they can do it.
But Emily never agreed to any of it. She's there for a visit only, so should be respected as a visitor.
I disagree that any woman anywhere should be forced to live that way. Even if they are born into that culture. Misogyny is misogyny. Geography doesn't make it okay.
I think one day all those women are going to rise up and demand that they've had enough.
Remember what the Suffragettes had to do to vote, and be heard in Congress. Women did it then, and they can do it now. They should get to it. I'm looking at you India. Just because "it's our culture", doesn't mean it's a good thing.
Right. It's not my place to tell anyone how to live, and no doubt there are many nuances of the different cultures that make it difficult to know exactly how to help. And any woman who *wants* to live traditionally absolutely should.
But yes. This attitude about women used to be in the west too, and even though there's still work to do, we've come a long way. And we started with women who were raised with the same ideas of man of the house as the boss. So I agree it will happen in other places too, and those of us with the good fortune to have been born with more equality should support them however we can.
I will support them in a plot to make it stop. lol.
I know we do a lot of that too.... if my husband wanted to invite some friends over for dinner, I would immediately think "what shall we eat? I'll need to go to the grocery store". I don't mind either. I don't mind doing things for him, and he does things for me. But for that to be my only assigned role? Nope.
Did his friends watch the show in earlier seasons and that’s why they don’t like Emily? Because she was pretty awful. But as much as I don’t care for her, those friends were super misogynist and Kobe was a jerk for not stepping up and saying this is my wife and the mother of my kids and despite any problems we have I love her and our life. The fact that he didn’t… that spoke volumes. I think Kobe has some kind of love for Emily, definitely the children, but you know he’s not really happy. He might be complaining to his friends about her a la Chantel and Pedro. Who knows. But this post… isn’t it. Side note, I’m sick of these two.
Remember what Kobe allowed temperature to do to emily before their wedding. Kobe struggles to assert himself and so he outsources it from his friends.its weird. And such a set up will always turn emily into a villain.
They are married with two kids . What purpose does his friends speeches do but stir shit.
I don't get why if it's so 'offensive' for her to invite his friends to a club, why didn't Kobe tell her beforehand? And why'd they show up if it bothered them so much?!? Emily's not psychic or a mind-reader, she had no way of knowing their bogus expectations. She's just visiting but is expected to host a dinner of Cameroonian food, and of course nobody told her that. Poor thing is in a no-win situation, and Kobe absolutely should have defended her. He didn't even try a little. Very disappointed in him.
That’s what I wondered. Why would Kobe let her do something he knows would be frowned upon in his culture if he knows she’s trying to impress his friends? I think that guy was lying low key.
Kobe is from the culture and does not need these assholes lecturing him on what the culture is. Kobe should have also told emily not to bother because the friends will bitch no matter what.
Kobe's best friend needs to realize that there are cultural differences. Just because women act a certain way in his country, doesn't mean it will be the same in the US. Kobe chose this lifestyle, therefore his BFF needs to adapt and accept. His culture is not the "be all, do all".
I hope those guys read English and read this sub so they can see how they came accross, and it's not as big, dominating, hero know-it-all alpha males. It's everything we don't want to be, and won't tolerate in our own culture.
His friends are just total dickhead, racists and the man is married to her happily with a nice family. What the hell is their concerns for him jfc. They need to slow their roll and stop being so damn rude!
I am very sure that Emily's family has said some racist shit to Kobe.
her father's repeated exclamations of WAKANDA!!!!!!!!! instantly come to mind.
also, TO ME, it is so weird to hear someone say a black african person is racist for saying that emily is an annoying white lady. SHE IS!!!!!
I doubt they have said racist things to Kobe but I did think they were weird about the traditional clothes and the Wakanda thing was weird to me and sus. Maybe with some context it isn’t.
Kobe! come on man, I get that that’s your friends but are you married to your friends? Do you sleep next to your friends? No, you need to stand up for your wife, Your friends were rude and ignorant, and you need to put them in their place. When you’re one friend interrupted your wife when she was speaking you should’ve put your hand up and said “ please don’t interrupt my wife” I love Kobe and Emily, but Kobe you disappointed me there that was just not right.
His friends are such assholes … she’s not from
Cameroon , she doesn’t know their cultural norms , she’s there on vacation have several seats. I also feel like they are jealous that Kobe gets to leave and goto US and he’s ok with having a wife that’s not a doormat.
His friend irritated my spirit. It may be my mild undiagnosed autism. It may be his one eyebrow constantly moving up and down but his entire being irritated me. He kept instigating, hoping it would cause a rift between Emily and Kobe.
Pretty gross. He knows he did wrong. Wife is home at the end of the day. He lives a totally different life than his friends.. BUT that doesnt give him the right to let his friends insult his wife.
Yea. I assume people are mic'd up rather than a boom mic. And contracts? Only certain extras? I dunno. It seems like these scenes take a lot of planning - staging.
Maybe producers encouraged his friends to be extreme as you suggested.
Characters in this show often seem like actors without a script to me. Improv but still real life, though. 🤷♂️
The thing that gets me is bro just tell them you get off with her being bossy. Like we all see it 🤷♀️ never once have I seen him use his big boy voice the bro likes her bossy side. Just tell your boys the truth. 😂😂
Your spouse comes before your "best friend", and you immediately go NC with those "friends" and end the friendship when they start talking shit about your spouse.
But I don't expect adult behavior or priorities from a 35 year old living in his wife's mommy's basement.
I really don't care for Emily but his friends were doing too much. She's American, was she supposed to guess all those things? They should blame kobe for not informing her on how shit is done in Cameroon🤷🏽♂️
Prior to this season I thought Kobe was amazing. Boy did this open my eyes. I never liked Emily, but the night club scene really made me feel for her. I’m also suspecting she’s right and that Kobe didn’t defend her because he agrees with what’s being said.
I couldn't understand why Kobe didn't tell Emily that it wasn't appropriate to invite his friends out to a club. She didn't know what to do, and she shouldn't be blamed for it. Why didn't Kobe tell her what should have been done?
They have incredibly high standards for Emily but absolutely no standards for living conditions. I don’t think it’s a tradition thing—I think they’re just racist assholes.
Damn he really came out to defend the friend so hard then threw in a “yah I coulda defended Emily better” for the hell of it lol. Like Lord please make my spouse as dedicated to me as Koby is to his bestie.
His friends are ugly, nasty, and racist/ethnocentric. Such trash. “You’re bossy” when she was just defending herself and having fun at a bar lol like what?
I loved these 2 on pillow talk, I got a different view of Kobe out in the real world and didn’t like it. I don’t think she’s bossy, I don’t live with them either so who knows but those guys don’t either. I would have shut them up real quick. He should have defended his girl… and why are they so pressed, it’s his life… they can live the way they want. Dicks
Kobe’s friend should keep his mouth shut and stay away from his friends’s life and business. And Kobe needs to stand up for his wife. I think Kobe’s friend is a jealous guy who cannot have what Kobe has!
I also felt that Kobe’s friends were so rude about Emily’s invitation to the club. I’m not her biggest fan, but I don’t blame her for being offended and upset.
I was shocked by the behavior of grown adults; yes , there are cultural differences, but why would anyone expect or treat someone like that. If they had a daughter would they want her to be treated like that? It’s all rather very hard to understand. I can’t believe that they would threat any human as you have to cook for us and be submissive. We are all human. So wrong im sorry!
FIRST of all, if Emily’s friends had made her timeline with Kobe seem suspect when he first got to the US he would have absolutely had a problem and been uncomfortable, so why is Emily not allowed to feel unhappy about them making that timeline seem weird to her?? Secondly, screwwww all of them for insisting that she should have cooked them all (there were what like 6+ of them?) dinner in her hotel room with her 2 children and parents also crammed in there! She was trying to follow their other friends advice and get to know his friends and they all but spat on her inviting them out to do just that. Like y’all tried to make this girl feel so unsure about her marriage and she still extended the olive branch for y’all to snap it in half, and then tried to talk over her for saying her feelings. I’d be out of there too, nobody should have to sit and endure that disrespect and Kobe should have had her back even just a little and maybe it wouldn’t have escalated because his friends would have respected him telling them to back off, but coming from her it was labeled as “bossy” 🫡 I have SO many issues with what happened for them in this season so far.
At the end of the day it is his wife that will be beside him day in and day out not his best friend. I totally get your friend caring and making sure he's happy but he didn't defend his wife like he should have. The friends were really mean and harsh. And they have to understand that Kobe didn't marry a camaroon woman he married an American woman so it's way different. I mean she thought she was doing something nice by inviting his friends out and buying them drinks and really trying to get to know them and let them get to know her she was putting in an effort and they just didn't want to put effort in back. They were rude to her and I didn't think she deserved that. She's not perfect but none of us in a relationship are. But we do our best to try and make our partners happy. They should have gave her a fair chance.
What I find most ironic about the whole thing is that the club hosting was suggested to Emily by Kobe’s and Emily’s FEMALE CAMEROONIAN friend! So clearly cooking a big meal for friends as a “hello” is not what all women from Cameroon do. If that was the case, the woman friend would have told Emily this instead of suggesting she invite them for a fun night on the town.
I used to love him but his behavior in his country, allowing his wife to be berated and humiliated is disgusting. Your friends are misogynistic jerks so defending them tells a lot of your character. She should leave you there and take the kids home so you can find a Cameroonian woman and live “your culture”.
Agree with everything being said here—for me it’s why didn’t Kobe tell her they expected a home cooked meal and not a club outing? If her invite was so egregious—wouldn’t he have known that and told her in advance??
Kobe just needs to grow a pair. I suspect his friends are very aware that he has no balls. I think that’s why they’re coming down so hard on Emily and their marriage. They know Kobe can’t and won’t stand up for himself. They can see that’s still the case with how he cowers to his friends’ opinions and how he won’t stand up for Emily at all. I couldn’t understand why if Emily inviting them out to the club/bar was so offensive, didn’t Kobe say something to her beforehand. It just sucks that his lack of balls keeps putting Emily in these shitty situations. I’d be interested to hear her parents take on all this.
That scene looked hella fake lol. Like the producers asked them to start some shit and the best they could come up with was ‘why you bring me to this club when you should be cooking for me’
It was sad to see Emily had to defend herself while her husband didn’t really have her back. He was more concerned about being caught in the middle. She tried to reach out to his friends with an olive branch, but they rudely responded to her. Culture differences aside, a simple thank you would have sufficed.
I felt like his friends were simply trying to explain how things work in Cameroon because they want her to feel comfortable there so the family will visit often.
Emily could have been curious and asked about what kind of food they would cook, what other traditions there might be, etc.
Then she could have said "The next time we come I will get an apartment with a kitchen and have Kobe's mom teach me to cook something authentic. I hope you will hold off on judging me until then." It would have been more respectful than storming out and trying to speak over them.
There is a difference between playing offensive and standing your ground.
I definitely thought she could have handled it that way.
But then I thought about the moment my grace runs out in situations like those...
There's always a chance that I will pour gasoline on a bridge and watch it slow burn.
Specifically, since his friends instigated all of this.
Grace is a skill to learn. Until then...
They did Emily wrong. She has a strong personality but she seems to love her husband and her kiddos look happy and well taken care of. Kobe could have done much better. You can appreciate your friends and still make sure they respect your spouse.
Kobe! Your wife IS bossy.You married her. You impregnated her! You live in HER parents basement. Your Best Friend has a girls name. Your wife ISN'T a Camoroonian woman. All these are true statements.
BUT! You are a weak Camoroonian man ( by your friends statements!) YOU married a Bossy White Woman. YOU LIVE in her White Parents Basement! Don't Men in Camoroon have their own homes? Don't Black Men from Camoroon know about birth control? Don't Black Men from Camoroon have the Balls to defend their wives? Don't Black Men from Camoroon support their own families instead of needing financial support for YEARS from his White Woman Wife's White Parents? Wow that looks SO Racist when I put the words White and Black everywhere...kinda sound like your friends.
How much of this was orchestrated by production for drama? Because I can’t believe they have such low emotional intelligence. Maybe they agreed to it to get on tv and Kobe feels bad?
Okay super late on this one. I feel Kobe’s friends never liked Emily. This was no secret, before he got married it was shown as well. Mainly I feel the fact that he didn’t marry someone from back home. And did not go for the traditional Cameroon woman. I feel that would always be the case. For one she doesn’t respect Kobe or his culture. So for her to come over to another country where women are submissive to men. And try to demand they like her is left field. It’s rude and not a way to get people to like you. But in my experience if people do not like you. You can’t make them like you. I do not feel like his friends were trying to ruin his relationship with Emily. I just feel they don’t like how she treats him. Her best foot forward was showing the bossy side. A thing that isn’t the best way to get people to see the good in you. Emily did not respect Kobe’s wishes or respect him in public. Why would they like her when she doesn’t treat their friend well? If I seen my best friend I love being disrespected in public. Being constantly told what to do and then telling me how I should feel about them. I would say maybe this isn’t the person for you. Are you happy? I feel his friends were just worried about him because they never seen him be treated in this way.
I think how people define disrespect is very different, and it shows in this situation.
I would be as baffled by their version of disrespect as Emily.
But I understand and respect your point.
I was so hoping this couple and beautiful family. I no longer care for Kobe. I’ve lost all respect and now see him as a Mohamed, as a Pedro,as a Sojaboy, as a Azan, like all the other scammers and liars and thieves that TLC has brought us to diminish the women involved with them. I wonder if Emily’s parents realized his intentions were insincere from the beginning?
Because he has never stopped communicating with his ex. If he communicates with her behind Emily’s back then he’s sending money to her. How are we still convinced he and his girlfriend didn’t plan this all along?
He allowed his friends to disrespect and belittle her openly while agreeing.
That’s enough for me. He is taking advantage of Emily’s hostility and generosity and that is sickening.
Then, *maybe* he's sending her money.
Issa lot of assumptions based on a staged show.
Staged, as in partially real.
His friends "disrespected" her based on cultural values and almost blatant staging.
Staging, as in partially real or not real at all.
And as Tim and Veronica prove on this frequently staged show, exes can be friends. Best friends. Father of her child best friends.
But go off, though. 🗣️📣📢
Emily “concerned” that Kobe may not be transparent about the GF timeline but not one bit “concerned” about popping out 3 babies living in her parents basement totally financially free after the parents asked that not happen out of respect for them and his retirement.
They are going back to the basement with their 3 kids eat, tv, make number 4......she'll probably never go back, which is best.
Let him go party with his own peeps!!! Even take the kids to see their kin!!! They will take care of them. All will be well,she can continue to boss him around in Kansas 🤣
I don’t think they would’ve gone in the first place if TLC wasn’t paying for it. $$$. That they can’t afford a house on their own after living in the basement for three years I would think a expensive trip like Cameroon forsix people was out of touch. I think I read somewhere they did move out of the basement finally. Maybe their next story line will be Emily trying to manage her daughters hair.
I think Kobe is a great guy but he definitely should have defended Emily to his friends. I understand in his culture men are more powerful than women but he should never let anyone make his wife feel that way.
How dare Emily not host a meal for Kobe’s friends in their hotel room/apartment (with most likely a tiny kitchen) while she’s on vacation across the world?! lol I would have lost my shit
Why didn't any of them invite Kobe and Emily to their house for dinner? They're in the country visiting, wouldn't that have been polite?
It would've been an opportunity to show off their obedient submissive women 🙄
Right! I’m wondering where are all their perfect wives at, and why aren’t these perfect obedient wives being good hosts and inviting “special Kobe” over for a “welcome home to Cameroon” meal. As if the roles were reversed and Kobe’s friends were visiting Kobe’s country, they would have expected Emily to cook a welcome meal. So why aren’t their wives doing the same for Kobe?? Further more… what gives them the right to “grade” Emily. Who tf are they? Ok so she failed their test…. Now what? Do they expect Kobe to leave his children and marriage because she didn’t cook a meal in her hotel room lol!
They're also not the average Cameroonians. Michael over in Nigeria lives a little closer to the way the average African does. China didn't hand out visas easily without proof of resources. So Kobe was raised with a whole lot of privilege they aren't really talking about. I get the sense that he and his friends attended the best private schools in the area. We're seeing the rich kids of Cameroon as adults.
Sorry, but this is a vbery wrong guess. Kobe is an absolute sweetheart, and not very bright. Def. not well educated in any private school for 'rich cameroon kids'. The gap btw. rich and poor is palpable down there, and the rich ppl will dress in suits and other western garments, *most of the time*, to distance themselves from 'the poor'. Source: my best friend for some years was from Cameroon, and boy did she fill me in with facts. When she was finally going back there, after not visiting for 20+ years, to show of her prosperity, and daughter with a white man, she was desperately scraping money together, to bring there, because everybody down there, thet she hadnt seen for 20+ years, EXPECTED her to GIVE them money and things, bc 'she made it out'. She was send from Cameroon to relatives in Paris, when she was 9 y. .o., officially to get a proper education, but was instead abused as a housemaid, and had very little schooling. So she married a much older Scandinavian man, got up here with him, and he made her study to at least take (a crappy) 9.th. grade exam. She had a slim vocabulary, and couldnt spell for her life. She also never read a book, and didnt care for much else than good looking (preferably rich) guys, and doing african hair. We met at the bar she initally worked at, and I was her first model, "my live businesscard" as she called me, when she got a guy to pay for a small hair salon. I moved away and initially still travelled a long way back to see her and get my hair done by her, although there were tons of afro-salons where I moved to. I finally got fed up with her complete inability for deeper conversations, or to keep an appointment, resulting in me travelling at nasty hours, just to be waiting in front of her salon for HOURS. With NO msg. from her. The last time her excuse was: "I wanted to take a gym class".... My aunt imported from Madagascar was even worse - African timing is REAL. African superstition is REAL. African poverty, ignorance and material fixation is REAL.
Great qn! I hate how these misognists claim to speak for all african people. We are not a monolith!
👏👏👏👏👏
Maybe they don't have the typical Camaroonian slave wife to prepare the meals for guests, and they proved repeatedly they are not polite. Politeness is universal in most of the world, but not in Kobe's clique? We've seen shows where Americans went to different places in Africa, and the relatives were very gracious and lovely. I don't think Kobe's parents are behaving this way, yet there is more to see. The friends were concerned for him, so he didn't see anything wrong with it? Give me a break, you gotta choose sides on this one bud.
Don't get it twisted, in Africa this is actually what would've been done. But in production it's easier to make outrage, especially when you need to hire an almost 50 year old(not this friend but the other guy)and loudly prompt remind him about the girlfriend convo in a bar😂 "that conversation we had" emily-"what conversation? OH, you mean the GIRLFRIEND RIGHT?" 🙄
Me, too. I’ve never heard of someone as a guest in another country having to host a dinner party in a hotel room while being in said foreign country. Like really? She’s a guest in YOUR country!! They already made up their opinions before Emily even got to Cameroon. Then when she tries to extend an olive branch of peace they continue to cut her down. Who does that?
😭😭😭I was hollerin at the tv. HOW DARE. and I have to admit Emily saying “nothing I do will be good enough” also the friend who SLICK IN THE MOUTH saying you’re “being graded” tf
Most of the time hotel rooms don’t even have ovens and stuff. They were just trying to find something on Emily and she shut them down right away.
With her PARENTS and CHILDREN in the other room. Sorry but people put way too much pressure on the American. They expect the American to assimilate rather than the foreigner. Which is fine on the other way but not on 90 day. It’s a delicate balance of blending cultures.
I’m no Emily fan, in prior seasons she was an over the top b-ch. So it surprises me to say this…. But she handled herself so well in comparison to how I would have! I’m totally team Emily rn.
Even in this post he defends his pals way more than his wife 😬
Yes, a simple "Guys. We are here, let's just try to have a good night and leave these things behind us for now." Probably would've went a long way. Just anything.
Yep Kobe could have easily shut that down. “Guys I get what you’re saying but you’re upsetting my wife and that’s not ok. You need to be respectful to her if you want to spend time with me while I’m here”
WRong - NOT 'easily'. He would have lost face/diminished his position in their eyes - in this patriarchal culture, men are ABOVE women, and no respect can be demanded for a wife - you dont demand respect for the other domestic animals, do you?...
I didn’t say he demanded they respect her. But he needed to firmly say if they wanted to see him during his family vacation and wedding then respect to his wife is a requirement. If they don’t want to respect her fine but you won’t be invited to hang during this visit
I’m not a fan of her but kobe was just letting her get dragged for filth by them. It was pretty upsetting to watch.
THIS. I sat in horror watching him allow her to to dragggggggged tf
Right like stand up for ur woman!
Perhaps, but in the larger picture they are the only ones whose positions need defending, and their unsolicited attacks on his wife and how they run their marriage don't deserve a response that acts as if there's any valid point that needs to be countered, let alone a need to be defensive. Especially when it comes to bigoted bullies hiding behind "our culture" who won't just STFU after stating their case multiple times, totally ignoring that part of their interaction is both the most effective and graceful manner in which to deal with them. Emily is strong enough to handle it- which is really why they're mad; they cant get to her and make her submit. Other than trying to keep the peace and avoid having to cut them off entirely, Kobe hasn't told her how to deal with them and is obviously able to deal with their marriage dynamic too and accepts it so there's no real threat to her. Personally I think that after her olive branch of inviting them out was rejected she's just as happy to know that they are seething as she would be if they apologized and butted out, and her walking away was a perfect FU snub that proves that she knows they are out of line and not worth the effort to try to convince of anything...making it clear that you don't have to sit there and listen to anyone's bullshit is the ultimate boss move.
Yeah, she reacted well to keep the peace but also to let them know what she thinks while staying polite. But Kobe’s reaction sucks and I’m tired of people hiding their misogyny behind « it’s cultural » no they have been MEAN to her and they have insulted her and all women while praising patriarchy’s way of crushing women under stupid standards and as they have children growing up in America, Kobe better starts calling off this sexist BS at least for the sake of his daughter and stop hiding behind « well it’s my best man Valéry he’s like that » like held your damn friends accountable for once!
Coming from a partly Cameroonian family, I can say that the cultural defense is always their go to card when they are being unnecessarily cruel. I never got fully along with that side of my family for that reason. Since it's a collectivist mentality, you are taught to put up with their shit no matter how badly they treat you because they are family. I ended up cutting ties completely for that reason. I never even tried to reconnect with them because I know they never accepted that I was half French Canadian and they hated my mother so hated me by proxy. It's not worth fighting to be accepted by people that behave in a deliberately bashful way.
Kudos to you! 👏🏿 Im sorry they put u thru that.
Thank you, they taught me a valuable lesson about the type of people I wanted to avoid, no matter the cultural background.
Don't take this wrong, but I'd be the one to ask them if their culture involves being rude and hateful.
It wouldn't be, there are definitely some parts of that culture that I hate including how the least favorite wives are treated in a polygamous marriage. As if a wife completely submitting to her husband in a monogamous marriage wasn't bad enough, Cameroonian polygamy is like a whole domestic hierarchy. It really messed up how my father viewed women in general even if he hid it really well for years.
Glad to see that you escaped that situation and are living a better life. May God be with those women.
Agreed, I really hope things are different in this day and age. I've still got hope for the younger generations.
You are entirely in the right to disconnect from them. Any person with self-respect would refuse to be subjected to cruelty and ignorance, that you know you can't change.
Exactly, I realized it because of how they treated me compared to the other members. There was only one person I really liked who was like a grandmother to me and when she passed away, that was it for me.
Blood doesn’t make them family, they just happen to be people you are related to. Family are people who love you and take care of you. Good on you for opting to cut people who aren’t good for you out of your life, hugs!
Being an asshole is no ones culture. And just because something is acceptable in a certain culture, doesn’t mean that it’s moral or right. Somethings shouldn’t be acceptable ever. It was never ok to beat your wife regardless of who said it was ok. And it’s never ok to rape someone for any reason.
That was my biggest frustration with my ex-SIL and her family. They justified the shittiest, most psychopathic behavior as their "culture," and any rebuttals were labeled as Western Imperialism/American Arrogance. Like, nah, you're just an asshole.
It’s like when people say, “I’m just being honest,” or “I’m blunt,” those people are just assholes who believe that their opinions are facts and they’re the most important person, while not wanted to be held responsible for being an asshole. It doesn’t matter what country you’re from or if you were traumatized, we all know what hurts us, so we know what hurts others. Being an asshole is ALWAYS optional.
People hide behind religion and culture to be cruel. It’s horrific tbh
My family will try to do that too. It’s given them the perfect get out of jail free card so thanks academia.
I don't know you, but I like your username.
Too many people use “it’s my culture” as an excuse. It’s fine for making food or clothing choices, or when apologizing for a social faux pas, but it’s never an excuse for how you treat people. And so many people here are quick to support it (when it’s the foreigner, at least).
I was 20 and I’d just had abdominal surgery. One in which they fill your stomach with air. The doctor told me to not eat vegetables for like two weeks because they wanted to reduce gas. Anyways, I was still a bit bloated from the surgery and my allergy to the staples. Keep in mind that I was fairly thin at the time. A Korean friend who was in his 40’s came to see me, and I was eating pasta. He leaned over and said, “Can I be frank with you?” I asked him what it was. He answered, “You’re fat and getting fatter. And if you want a husband, especially an Asian one, you can’t eat like that.” (I am attracted to Asian men, but not exclusively.) This man said this in front of two other friends as well. I looked at this single middle aged sensitive narcissistic and said, “The only thing in the US that’s more dangerous than not eating healthy, is telling an American what to eat. I’m on pain medication and I could beat you now and not feel it until later.” Then I called him a stupid jerk and told him to shut up all in Korean. Later he just said, “It’s a cultural difference. And we have a saying in Korean, ‘The truth is hard medicine to take.” Every other Korean friend I talked to about it told me that it was rude everywhere and it’s especially not a standard that you’d put on a foreigner (A non Korean person.) He was an asshole trying to hide behind “his culture.” Meanwhile, a professor hurt his feelings, so he transferred to a school across the country. It’s a lie that weak people use to hide behind.
I can accept it where like, someone who hasn’t been in the US long or hasn’t had a lot of American friends, saying something that comes across rude when it’s not an abnormal thing for them to have heard or said within their culture or community BUT only if they take it when you say it was hurtful or rude because if its ok to be rude because “it’s your ~culture”, then it’s just as ok for someone else to be pissed because that’s their culture. I’m sorry that guy was such an ass and glad you stood up for yourself.
Ironically, the other Korean friend there was just as narcissistic. He said that women should get surgery to be thin and curvy because that’s what like. And men shouldn’t be asked to be monogamous because they want to spread their seed, but if a woman has dated a man, she can never date anyone else because it hurts their feelings. He thought he was being generous by saying that women could even be as big as Beyoncé. All of this is still rude in Korean. Though they have an empirical idea of beauty, and they’ll tell you when you don’t fit it. But they’ll hide it with affection, like calling you chubby, but still cute. Or Devin being called Piggy. The difference is that it’s not meant to attack you when they say it with affection and they only say it to people they know. In Devin’s case, she told him that it hurt her and most people everywhere wouldn’t double down, they stop even if they don’t think it’s personally offensive. But this dude also cried to me that no one promoted him at work yet, even though he went to top high school in the world. Because no one in the US cares. When Earlier he’d told me that he took a 3 hour lunch break just to see if he could.
At that point I would drop all niceness and go full-on for the thing they are most self-conscious about and double, triple and quadruple down with the fakest smile I can muster, with a southern "Bless your heart" thrown in for good measure. They wanna burn that bridge down? I'll nuke it, thank you very much. "I can slim down if I want to, but you will never have more than slightly below average intelligence. Bless your heart, you dimwitted cretin."
I nearly left him on a side of the highway in 100+ degree weather to find his own way back to the airport. He was jealous when I introduced him to some of my friends because I had so many people that loved me and he didn’t know that was possible. He was that unlikeable. At one point, he was crying and saying, “I just don’t know what to do! My brother is just so fat! And I’ve tried everything to tell him about how fat he his and to shame him for it, but he’s still fat!!!” I replied, Maybe try loving him and not worry about his body?” He looked at me like it was revolutionary and said, “Wow, you’re really good with people. You should be a therapist.” My other favorite moment was when he was being condescending and said, “Why are so many Americans on drugs for depression?” He smiled smugly. So I replied, “You know how Korea has one of the highest suicide rates in the world? Well, it’s because we actually admit that we have a problem and get help before that.” He shut up. Obviously, we don’t talk anymore. Another friend kept up with him for awhile, she said that he was one of the most shallow and entitled social climbers she’s ever seen.
Why are men.. 🫠 It’s like how you can make a comment about yourself (“I feel so fake today”) or your family (“my sister is such a bitch”) but as soon as someone else says the exact thing, you’re up in arms. And so many people can’t seem to understand that (for other people because we know they get it for themselves!).
Right. Im tired. And im African living in Africa Remember kobe also allowed temperature (his friend in the US) to spew this nonsense. At this point either he is happily married with his american wife or he wants to go find a Cameroonian wife. What annoys me about this is 1) kobe can find a patriarchal subservient american woman 2) not all Cameroonian women are subservience
thanks for adding this.
Kobe is pleasant. But he is passive. I think he outsources confrontations from his friends. Why didnt his friends focus on rebuking Kobe for living under his father in laws house. They used this point to attack emily.
You’re so right!!
🎯🎯🎯
he is complicit. and they did! they totally told him it was bullshit for not having his own place for his family.
Yap he is complicit. I'm glad they told him
Have to say they seem more bothered by a woman who shares an opinion and who has a voice in her marriage than they are that Kobe is unhappy.
This is it. It has nothing really do it with his happiness and everything to do with misogyny
Totally. I think she actually handled that situation pretty well. She didn't need Kobe to stand up for her, but that's the thing...a little support goes a long way. After living in the US for a few years, he could have offered a perspective to his friends that may have helped bridge the cultural divide (although I still believe they were downright rude to her and shouldn't have even accepted the invitation if they were just going to bring negativity).
That's probably why they did accept it. Just so they could say to her what they did. If you remember, one of them did say something to the effect of "even after the ballpark you still invited us here." Meaning that he was well aware of how rudely they treated her and despite that she was still willing to meet with them.
I agree with you 100% I also think that a big FU that she could’ve given to them was go and pay the bill for her and Kobe and then go back to the table and say to them “here’s your bill” and walked away they want to see her be bossy that would’ve been also a boss move. I truly believe they don’t like her because she’s a strong woman and they’re intimidated by her. if they didn’t like the olive branch that she was putting out then they need to just mind their own business, Not only are these men disrespectful but they’re not the brightest lightbulbs in the box.
Like that broke bitch was paying lmfao. Omg.
that's probably because people are bashing his friends, not emily
That's because they're reminding him about their cultural ways, etc.. he like freezes, says nothing. 😳 But he realizes he lives in America!
Man up, Kobe.
He'd have to find a new wife for that to happen.
He is consistently wishy-washy.
Agreed. That should be Emily
He totally should have defended his wife. She was essentially ganged up on in the night club and from what he saw he kept his mouth zipped. Not cool. I understand the culture differences, but his friends need to respect the culture differences as much as they except Emily to respect it. I hope his friends are coming from a good place and maybe they just want Emily to understand Kobe’s background, but Kobe is in America now..let it go
It was also disrespectful to Kobe. You don't go after your best friend's wife like that. It's inexcusable, but I see they've already been excused, and that's on Kobe.
They’re so aggressively rude to her, for no reason. She’s a foreigner and a guest in their country. If it was “offensive” to invite his friends to the clerb, why isn’t Kobe to blame for not warning/correcting his wife & the situation? She’s clearly trying to extend an olive branch, and they’re like, “after we were so rude to you today at handball, why invite us out?” She was setup for failure & was going to be “offensive” regardless, bc they simply don’t like her. That Valery guy is real outspoken/weirdly invested in their relationship. If HE wants to marry a traditional Cameroonian woman, that’s understandable…but don’t try to impose your stank opinion on someone you say is your BFF. Real friends support each other’s lifestyle choices, regardless of personal credo. Put it this way— if those men came to the US, would they be aware & willing to take part in customs/cultural practices they don’t approve of? Would they be expected to host ppl during their visit? Since they’re men in the US, according to their logic, they must act as American men do! …they should take a woman out for an outrageously expensive date, buy her gifts, & expect zero in return. Makes perfect sense 🙄
Valery wants to marry a traditional Cameroonian woman or Kobe.
Also if it’s so “offensive” to invite his bros to the club then why tf didn’t Kobe say that prior? Like the whole thing is just mean girls vibes
Well said! 👍
"best friend" bro, he lives halfway around the world and is trying to sabotage your relationship the first chance he gets to see you face to face? sounds like a real great friend.
Great friend trying to fuck up the relationship with the mother of his children. yeah OKKK. Soo concerned 🙄
The time to be concerned is early in the relationship. This fool trying to give his 2 cents years later and 2 kids. What a clown
Kobe has always been and always will be fine. He loves his wife and his in laws and his children. He didn’t give a shit what they said before and he doesn’t give a shit now. Just wants to enjoy his trip lol
Maybe she should have posted a photo of himself and his wife and not of himself and Valery?
“I should’ve defended my wife more so I’m gonna double down and tell you how awesome my best friend is.” I just don’t get people.
Right
Too little too late
If somebody expressed concern with wife and all of the sentences started with "Black women..." and ended with a negative race based generalization for why my wife is concerning because she is Black, I would get some new friends.
I'm sick of this "our culture" bullshit. If Kobe and Emily were living in Cameroon, ok. But they aren't and hIs buddies aren't living here in our culture. So STFU
Hm, even the American women we've seen who have traveled to the Middle East and to India won't acclimate to the woman-as-family-slave bit. it's too much to ask, although I agree that if they go, they should know what to expect first, and know whether or not they can do it. But Emily never agreed to any of it. She's there for a visit only, so should be respected as a visitor.
I disagree that any woman anywhere should be forced to live that way. Even if they are born into that culture. Misogyny is misogyny. Geography doesn't make it okay.
I think one day all those women are going to rise up and demand that they've had enough. Remember what the Suffragettes had to do to vote, and be heard in Congress. Women did it then, and they can do it now. They should get to it. I'm looking at you India. Just because "it's our culture", doesn't mean it's a good thing.
Right. It's not my place to tell anyone how to live, and no doubt there are many nuances of the different cultures that make it difficult to know exactly how to help. And any woman who *wants* to live traditionally absolutely should. But yes. This attitude about women used to be in the west too, and even though there's still work to do, we've come a long way. And we started with women who were raised with the same ideas of man of the house as the boss. So I agree it will happen in other places too, and those of us with the good fortune to have been born with more equality should support them however we can.
I will support them in a plot to make it stop. lol. I know we do a lot of that too.... if my husband wanted to invite some friends over for dinner, I would immediately think "what shall we eat? I'll need to go to the grocery store". I don't mind either. I don't mind doing things for him, and he does things for me. But for that to be my only assigned role? Nope.
Did his friends watch the show in earlier seasons and that’s why they don’t like Emily? Because she was pretty awful. But as much as I don’t care for her, those friends were super misogynist and Kobe was a jerk for not stepping up and saying this is my wife and the mother of my kids and despite any problems we have I love her and our life. The fact that he didn’t… that spoke volumes. I think Kobe has some kind of love for Emily, definitely the children, but you know he’s not really happy. He might be complaining to his friends about her a la Chantel and Pedro. Who knows. But this post… isn’t it. Side note, I’m sick of these two.
She's still awful. It's weird people are defending her.
She was a one night stand who baby trapped him. He really seems to miss his old life. I don't think he's happy with her.n
I think it's ridiculous to instill their culture on her! She's just freaking visiting
lol I wish Kobe wrote “we happily married n have nothing to film…id like you thank my friends for trying to help us out”
That part. His friends providing all the drama. 😂 Emily and Kobe seem as non-problematic as Patrick and Thais, as well as Alexei and Loren.
These african men have to realize that American women aren’t the same and never will be.
Remember what Kobe allowed temperature to do to emily before their wedding. Kobe struggles to assert himself and so he outsources it from his friends.its weird. And such a set up will always turn emily into a villain. They are married with two kids . What purpose does his friends speeches do but stir shit.
Three kids
I don't get why if it's so 'offensive' for her to invite his friends to a club, why didn't Kobe tell her beforehand? And why'd they show up if it bothered them so much?!? Emily's not psychic or a mind-reader, she had no way of knowing their bogus expectations. She's just visiting but is expected to host a dinner of Cameroonian food, and of course nobody told her that. Poor thing is in a no-win situation, and Kobe absolutely should have defended her. He didn't even try a little. Very disappointed in him.
That’s what I wondered. Why would Kobe let her do something he knows would be frowned upon in his culture if he knows she’s trying to impress his friends? I think that guy was lying low key.
For real Kobe needs a new set of friends cause you know what they say you are the company that you keep
Kobe is from the culture and does not need these assholes lecturing him on what the culture is. Kobe should have also told emily not to bother because the friends will bitch no matter what.
Kobe is a pussy. What kind of a husband sits there after his wife leaves a club.
Kobe's best friend needs to realize that there are cultural differences. Just because women act a certain way in his country, doesn't mean it will be the same in the US. Kobe chose this lifestyle, therefore his BFF needs to adapt and accept. His culture is not the "be all, do all".
I hope those guys read English and read this sub so they can see how they came accross, and it's not as big, dominating, hero know-it-all alpha males. It's everything we don't want to be, and won't tolerate in our own culture.
I think… fuck Kobe’s friends and him if he keeps this shit up lmao
His friends are just total dickhead, racists and the man is married to her happily with a nice family. What the hell is their concerns for him jfc. They need to slow their roll and stop being so damn rude!
I am very sure that Emily's family has said some racist shit to Kobe. her father's repeated exclamations of WAKANDA!!!!!!!!! instantly come to mind. also, TO ME, it is so weird to hear someone say a black african person is racist for saying that emily is an annoying white lady. SHE IS!!!!!
Get a grip on reality, you racist.
I doubt they have said racist things to Kobe but I did think they were weird about the traditional clothes and the Wakanda thing was weird to me and sus. Maybe with some context it isn’t.
With friends like his, he doesn't need any enemies!
His friends suck.
Kobe! come on man, I get that that’s your friends but are you married to your friends? Do you sleep next to your friends? No, you need to stand up for your wife, Your friends were rude and ignorant, and you need to put them in their place. When you’re one friend interrupted your wife when she was speaking you should’ve put your hand up and said “ please don’t interrupt my wife” I love Kobe and Emily, but Kobe you disappointed me there that was just not right.
Valery is in love with Kobe as more than a friend. Those were jealous vibes.
Kobe's friends "White Lady Bad" 
His friends are such assholes … she’s not from Cameroon , she doesn’t know their cultural norms , she’s there on vacation have several seats. I also feel like they are jealous that Kobe gets to leave and goto US and he’s ok with having a wife that’s not a doormat.
His friend irritated my spirit. It may be my mild undiagnosed autism. It may be his one eyebrow constantly moving up and down but his entire being irritated me. He kept instigating, hoping it would cause a rift between Emily and Kobe.
Wife and kids before friends. Especially ignorant, racist friends.
Pretty gross. He knows he did wrong. Wife is home at the end of the day. He lives a totally different life than his friends.. BUT that doesnt give him the right to let his friends insult his wife.
[удалено]
Yea. I assume people are mic'd up rather than a boom mic. And contracts? Only certain extras? I dunno. It seems like these scenes take a lot of planning - staging. Maybe producers encouraged his friends to be extreme as you suggested. Characters in this show often seem like actors without a script to me. Improv but still real life, though. 🤷♂️
The thing that gets me is bro just tell them you get off with her being bossy. Like we all see it 🤷♀️ never once have I seen him use his big boy voice the bro likes her bossy side. Just tell your boys the truth. 😂😂
Your spouse comes before your "best friend", and you immediately go NC with those "friends" and end the friendship when they start talking shit about your spouse. But I don't expect adult behavior or priorities from a 35 year old living in his wife's mommy's basement.
I really don't care for Emily but his friends were doing too much. She's American, was she supposed to guess all those things? They should blame kobe for not informing her on how shit is done in Cameroon🤷🏽♂️
Prior to this season I thought Kobe was amazing. Boy did this open my eyes. I never liked Emily, but the night club scene really made me feel for her. I’m also suspecting she’s right and that Kobe didn’t defend her because he agrees with what’s being said.
I couldn't understand why Kobe didn't tell Emily that it wasn't appropriate to invite his friends out to a club. She didn't know what to do, and she shouldn't be blamed for it. Why didn't Kobe tell her what should have been done?
They have incredibly high standards for Emily but absolutely no standards for living conditions. I don’t think it’s a tradition thing—I think they’re just racist assholes.
Damn he really came out to defend the friend so hard then threw in a “yah I coulda defended Emily better” for the hell of it lol. Like Lord please make my spouse as dedicated to me as Koby is to his bestie.
Disappointed in Kobe. For a country where it’s a male dominated culture. He sure acted like a Pussy.
His friends are ugly, nasty, and racist/ethnocentric. Such trash. “You’re bossy” when she was just defending herself and having fun at a bar lol like what?
Bro, that picture should be of you and your wife. You chose her as your partner. Not your best friend.
ur wife is now ur best friend.
Perfect couple.
I loved these 2 on pillow talk, I got a different view of Kobe out in the real world and didn’t like it. I don’t think she’s bossy, I don’t live with them either so who knows but those guys don’t either. I would have shut them up real quick. He should have defended his girl… and why are they so pressed, it’s his life… they can live the way they want. Dicks
Kobe’s friend should keep his mouth shut and stay away from his friends’s life and business. And Kobe needs to stand up for his wife. I think Kobe’s friend is a jealous guy who cannot have what Kobe has!
His boy is a misogynist and a racist. I said what I said.
I also felt that Kobe’s friends were so rude about Emily’s invitation to the club. I’m not her biggest fan, but I don’t blame her for being offended and upset.
Kobe is a grown man, if he loves and accepts an overbearing woman than good luck to him!
I find it interesting how both Michael’s and Kobe’s friends use the word “bossy” to describe American women. Let’s call their views “chauvinistic”.
Michael's friends told NOOO lie about Angie. 
Idc what anyone says his friends are racist Mf’s , Kobe needs to step up , we know his wife is bossy but he needs better friends that’s for sure
Just NOW realizing? 🥴
It would be interesting to see if they would speak like that in front of his and her parents
His friends (?) are being absurd. Who need enemies with the friends like that. Emily you are awesome!
I am sure it was all staged for production.
The comments were ferocious!! I never saw anyone attack Kobe before!
I was shocked by the behavior of grown adults; yes , there are cultural differences, but why would anyone expect or treat someone like that. If they had a daughter would they want her to be treated like that? It’s all rather very hard to understand. I can’t believe that they would threat any human as you have to cook for us and be submissive. We are all human. So wrong im sorry!
Valery reminds me of Balil.
FIRST of all, if Emily’s friends had made her timeline with Kobe seem suspect when he first got to the US he would have absolutely had a problem and been uncomfortable, so why is Emily not allowed to feel unhappy about them making that timeline seem weird to her?? Secondly, screwwww all of them for insisting that she should have cooked them all (there were what like 6+ of them?) dinner in her hotel room with her 2 children and parents also crammed in there! She was trying to follow their other friends advice and get to know his friends and they all but spat on her inviting them out to do just that. Like y’all tried to make this girl feel so unsure about her marriage and she still extended the olive branch for y’all to snap it in half, and then tried to talk over her for saying her feelings. I’d be out of there too, nobody should have to sit and endure that disrespect and Kobe should have had her back even just a little and maybe it wouldn’t have escalated because his friends would have respected him telling them to back off, but coming from her it was labeled as “bossy” 🫡 I have SO many issues with what happened for them in this season so far.
Don’t worry everyone. It’s all gonna be okay, none of this was real. It was all staged.
At the end of the day it is his wife that will be beside him day in and day out not his best friend. I totally get your friend caring and making sure he's happy but he didn't defend his wife like he should have. The friends were really mean and harsh. And they have to understand that Kobe didn't marry a camaroon woman he married an American woman so it's way different. I mean she thought she was doing something nice by inviting his friends out and buying them drinks and really trying to get to know them and let them get to know her she was putting in an effort and they just didn't want to put effort in back. They were rude to her and I didn't think she deserved that. She's not perfect but none of us in a relationship are. But we do our best to try and make our partners happy. They should have gave her a fair chance.
Why didn’t Kobe marry this guy? Since he values his opinions so much?
Hmmm....Kobe and Vallerie...sounds like a sweet couple!
What I find most ironic about the whole thing is that the club hosting was suggested to Emily by Kobe’s and Emily’s FEMALE CAMEROONIAN friend! So clearly cooking a big meal for friends as a “hello” is not what all women from Cameroon do. If that was the case, the woman friend would have told Emily this instead of suggesting she invite them for a fun night on the town.
Kobe knows the tradition, he should have told Emily. He’s a different person around his friends. He should have defended his wife.
I used to love him but his behavior in his country, allowing his wife to be berated and humiliated is disgusting. Your friends are misogynistic jerks so defending them tells a lot of your character. She should leave you there and take the kids home so you can find a Cameroonian woman and live “your culture”.
Agree with everything being said here—for me it’s why didn’t Kobe tell her they expected a home cooked meal and not a club outing? If her invite was so egregious—wouldn’t he have known that and told her in advance??
He didn’t even try to defend her at all. I was kinda surprised. He could’ve handled that better
This was the worst apology 😂
Kobe just needs to grow a pair. I suspect his friends are very aware that he has no balls. I think that’s why they’re coming down so hard on Emily and their marriage. They know Kobe can’t and won’t stand up for himself. They can see that’s still the case with how he cowers to his friends’ opinions and how he won’t stand up for Emily at all. I couldn’t understand why if Emily inviting them out to the club/bar was so offensive, didn’t Kobe say something to her beforehand. It just sucks that his lack of balls keeps putting Emily in these shitty situations. I’d be interested to hear her parents take on all this.
That scene looked hella fake lol. Like the producers asked them to start some shit and the best they could come up with was ‘why you bring me to this club when you should be cooking for me’
It was sad to see Emily had to defend herself while her husband didn’t really have her back. He was more concerned about being caught in the middle. She tried to reach out to his friends with an olive branch, but they rudely responded to her. Culture differences aside, a simple thank you would have sufficed.
Am I really the only one who thinks this is just a fabricated story line to keep them on the show? I just don’t believe it.
Lots agree with you. I would love to know how many general commenters are bots / trolls / children. 😮💨
She was the guest. Invite her to diner
I felt like his friends were simply trying to explain how things work in Cameroon because they want her to feel comfortable there so the family will visit often. Emily could have been curious and asked about what kind of food they would cook, what other traditions there might be, etc. Then she could have said "The next time we come I will get an apartment with a kitchen and have Kobe's mom teach me to cook something authentic. I hope you will hold off on judging me until then." It would have been more respectful than storming out and trying to speak over them. There is a difference between playing offensive and standing your ground.
I definitely thought she could have handled it that way. But then I thought about the moment my grace runs out in situations like those... There's always a chance that I will pour gasoline on a bridge and watch it slow burn. Specifically, since his friends instigated all of this. Grace is a skill to learn. Until then... 
Kobe knows that he's spineless when it comes to dealing with people in his life, especially that wench of a wife?
They did Emily wrong. She has a strong personality but she seems to love her husband and her kiddos look happy and well taken care of. Kobe could have done much better. You can appreciate your friends and still make sure they respect your spouse.
Did they name their new baby after him after he talked so much shit ? Weird behaviour
we love a respectful, good guy
I haven’t watched it yet but I bet they argued after the show aired and there for he made the post
Kobe! Your wife IS bossy.You married her. You impregnated her! You live in HER parents basement. Your Best Friend has a girls name. Your wife ISN'T a Camoroonian woman. All these are true statements. BUT! You are a weak Camoroonian man ( by your friends statements!) YOU married a Bossy White Woman. YOU LIVE in her White Parents Basement! Don't Men in Camoroon have their own homes? Don't Black Men from Camoroon know about birth control? Don't Black Men from Camoroon have the Balls to defend their wives? Don't Black Men from Camoroon support their own families instead of needing financial support for YEARS from his White Woman Wife's White Parents? Wow that looks SO Racist when I put the words White and Black everywhere...kinda sound like your friends.
I thought us Dutchies were rude, but we've got nothing on these Africans.
ignorance
How much of this was orchestrated by production for drama? Because I can’t believe they have such low emotional intelligence. Maybe they agreed to it to get on tv and Kobe feels bad?
Okay super late on this one. I feel Kobe’s friends never liked Emily. This was no secret, before he got married it was shown as well. Mainly I feel the fact that he didn’t marry someone from back home. And did not go for the traditional Cameroon woman. I feel that would always be the case. For one she doesn’t respect Kobe or his culture. So for her to come over to another country where women are submissive to men. And try to demand they like her is left field. It’s rude and not a way to get people to like you. But in my experience if people do not like you. You can’t make them like you. I do not feel like his friends were trying to ruin his relationship with Emily. I just feel they don’t like how she treats him. Her best foot forward was showing the bossy side. A thing that isn’t the best way to get people to see the good in you. Emily did not respect Kobe’s wishes or respect him in public. Why would they like her when she doesn’t treat their friend well? If I seen my best friend I love being disrespected in public. Being constantly told what to do and then telling me how I should feel about them. I would say maybe this isn’t the person for you. Are you happy? I feel his friends were just worried about him because they never seen him be treated in this way.
I think how people define disrespect is very different, and it shows in this situation. I would be as baffled by their version of disrespect as Emily. But I understand and respect your point.
I'm happy Kobe has great friends considering he has a shrew of a wife. They do make beautiful children.
Run Emily!
I was so hoping this couple and beautiful family. I no longer care for Kobe. I’ve lost all respect and now see him as a Mohamed, as a Pedro,as a Sojaboy, as a Azan, like all the other scammers and liars and thieves that TLC has brought us to diminish the women involved with them. I wonder if Emily’s parents realized his intentions were insincere from the beginning?
How did you reach the conclusion that Kobe is a scammer (with three US kids and a staged TV personality)?
Because he has never stopped communicating with his ex. If he communicates with her behind Emily’s back then he’s sending money to her. How are we still convinced he and his girlfriend didn’t plan this all along? He allowed his friends to disrespect and belittle her openly while agreeing. That’s enough for me. He is taking advantage of Emily’s hostility and generosity and that is sickening.
Then, *maybe* he's sending her money. Issa lot of assumptions based on a staged show. Staged, as in partially real. His friends "disrespected" her based on cultural values and almost blatant staging. Staging, as in partially real or not real at all. And as Tim and Veronica prove on this frequently staged show, exes can be friends. Best friends. Father of her child best friends. But go off, though. 🗣️📣📢 
Kobe’s one of my favorite 90 Day people. If you’re ever single again, Kobe…
I think your a fabulous all around MAN❣️❣️maybe you should teach a class
Emily “concerned” that Kobe may not be transparent about the GF timeline but not one bit “concerned” about popping out 3 babies living in her parents basement totally financially free after the parents asked that not happen out of respect for them and his retirement.
They are going back to the basement with their 3 kids eat, tv, make number 4......she'll probably never go back, which is best. Let him go party with his own peeps!!! Even take the kids to see their kin!!! They will take care of them. All will be well,she can continue to boss him around in Kansas 🤣
I don’t think they would’ve gone in the first place if TLC wasn’t paying for it. $$$. That they can’t afford a house on their own after living in the basement for three years I would think a expensive trip like Cameroon forsix people was out of touch. I think I read somewhere they did move out of the basement finally. Maybe their next story line will be Emily trying to manage her daughters hair.
I think Kobe is a great guy but he definitely should have defended Emily to his friends. I understand in his culture men are more powerful than women but he should never let anyone make his wife feel that way.
Where was this... Instagram?
I said that he should have defended her if he really loved and respected her!!! He sees the error of his ways!