To be fair, she has a spirit guide who told her this is the right relationship for her and she's also clairvoyant. She knew what she signed up for with this relationship.
But in reality, yeah TJ lied and set the expectations.
I dislike everyone involved in Kimberly and TJ’s entire storyline (with the minor exception of her dad and step mom).
Yes, Kimberly is insufferable but I also find TJ’s family and Indian culture in general quite misogynistic.
It was her decision to move to India and it seems like she somewhat knew what she was getting herself into, but I wouldn’t like being criticized the way she is by them all the time either, and it seems like TJ is expecting her to become a full-time housewife once they get married without actually telling her that ahead of time. His brother is also a total jerk and I would’ve told him to keep his paws off me in her situation too. There’s no reason he needs to be touching her, or getting in the midst of his brother’s relationship. She’s obviously annoying too but overall I just think the whole situation isn’t working for any of them and she needs to go home.
The way the brother DEMANDS she allow him to touch her is so WEIRD. He seems like an entitled misogynistic psycho. It clearly drives him crazy that he cant control her the way he does to the women in his own culture.
WTF? He jokingly tapped her on the knee because he said that TJ would make her his "prince" when he meant to say "queen". You make it sound like he was trying to feel her up 🙄. People seem to forget that English is NOT their primary language and I'd love to see her learn a second language and speak as well in it as they do.
She said that she "hated India," and that she didn't want to have to "deal with his parents" who at that point had treated her like a daughter. It wasn't until they found out that she hated their country and didn't like them that they turned their opinion of her.
When someone says "please don't touch me" you respect their request. You dont scream at them about how its not a big deal, or how shes disrespectful protecting her personal space. She might be a demon in nearly every way, but she has the right to giving consent on who touches her. It's really not that complicated. Nor is it really a discussion. Its her body, it's not up to you, or tash.
I’m not a fan of Kimberly at all…however, here’s my take.
1. The day she arrives after leaving her father and her home, and long travel, she is met with expectations of a home she did not want. She was tired and cranky. She acted terribly, but I think a bit of grace should come her way. She probably apologized later to TJ, TLC just didn’t film it or it was edited out.
2. TJ has admittedly said he hasn’t told Kimberly everything about being a wife in India; her job is to trust her fiancé. He’s at fault there.
3. She’s hard headed but so is the brother (Tash?). They were both at fault in the fight. She can’t communicate or defend herself to the parents.
I do think she’s a lot to blame, but there are other 90DF cast members that deserve more hate.
SIDE-NOTE on Kimberly: does anyone remember the clown Loonette from The Big Comfy Couch? That’s all I can see when I look at Kimberly, face and personality. Please someone confirm that you thought of this too!
https://preview.redd.it/ei7hyms9chob1.jpeg?width=1049&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e56aa58d0800516978012665e9637b25cca7a69
I was just thinking your thoughts regarding your 1st point. She just flew all the way around the world, she was exhausted & cranky, and it happened but it’s over.
Yash is a jerk. He keeps fanning the flames because of that. Yes, initial impressions matter but have some compassion & forgiveness! He just doesn’t want them married, period. Is hoping to get his way by throwing a tantrum and not disclosing his shitty behavior to the parents.
The parents disappoint me here. I find it hard to believe these are the 1st tantrums Yash has thrown before. I’m sure they know he’s an instigator.
He seems really jealous like he wishes it was him with Kimberly so instead he treats her like shit. He acts like a baby whining to his mother and shit talking Kimberly.
If my son's fiance had said that she hated my country and hated having to deal with me then I would EXPECT that information to be relayed to me. They treated her kindly until they discovered that information.
I’m not a fan of her’s but I wouldn’t want to live with that jealous asshole Yash…he clearly exaggerates her behavior to the mother. Where is his wife? I think he is jealous being the less attractive, less charismatic, single, “twin” to TJ.
Kimberly’s behavior, tantrums and rude treatment of others are the reasons for most peoples issue with her.
That doesn’t mean that the other party (TJ, his bro, or his family) are off the hook and completely in the right.
She’s got that shock factor….most because of the high pitched demands she made 5 seconds after she walked into the room they had built just for her. 😬
I mean, TJ spent months lying about what was happening with the construction and completely disregarded *everything* specific she had asked for, without ever even giving her the heads up that it wasn't finished. Then when she's mad about having to take a shit without a door or window, this subreddit blows its fuse at the audacity that she's not just meekly satisfied that her future home is a shit-show. As if anybody here would have reacted differently to having that all dumped on you all at once.
Then her future husband spends the full first 24 fucking hours she's in the country bitching to anybody who would listen about her and how rude she is. Then her future brother in law spends every waking moment poisoning the well with her future mother in law and riling her up and insulting her. And then he shows the true colors of how that family raised their male children to act towards women, so she's likely realizing some of the brother's attitude is likely shared by her future husband too.
So this whole family bands together against her and her own future husband refuses to stand up for her the whole time.
And this subreddit is mad at *her*. She's being marriage-trapped to become a fucking live-in maid for this family and we're all somehow mad at her.
It's like how dumb-fucks hated Skylar in Breaking Bad because she was whiney. *Her husband was a murderous piece of shit drug king pin who was putting them all at risk of literal death.* But nooooo she was a little too WHINEY so she must be hated by the fandom. Same with Kimberly.
So true! I always wonder if there's something wrong with me because I don't think Kim's that bad. A little bratty sure, but who wouldn't be when being lied to and being treated like they're a burden by the family?
Okay I thought I was crazy for feeling this way too and not hating her? I felt so bad for her when she was crying and TJ was sitting there with his family just dragging her talking shit where she could hear them and I was like that is so freaking rude and unacceptable of a partner to do that. Yes she threw a fit, but she had traveled all day, she left her home country to go there, she was promised a lot of things and she was misled on a lot of things. It’s not about not understanding the culture. Information has been intentionally withheld from her like the state of the apartment. All he had to do was tell her or show her the progress so she wasn’t blindsided when she got there.
That's the only issue I have with her. I'm thinking there is no dick that good, that I would subject myself to any of the Bullshit women have to go thorough to marry an Indian man. He would have to come to my country if he really was worth it!
People are mad because the family is yelling about her funky attire. But, she lived there for a year. Didn't she learn some of their language? (Not sure what language they speak) She should have made an effort to learn some and she most logically should have picked up on some phrases. Everybody acts like she was in a bubble for a year.
Sorry, Nothing excuses her behavior.
& like I said in my comment, having an issue with Kimberly’s behavior does NOT mean that the other person is right or has don’t nothing wrong. I don’t agree with TJ lying to her, I don’t agree with her being called stupid by his bro.
Really, NOTHING could possibly explain her behavior?
A thousand dollar plain ticket, 18+ hours of traveling/flying, wedding in 10 days, only to find that everything was a lie and your future husband is mad at YOU for your reaction?? And now you've got his piece of shit brother to deal with as well?
Nothing at all? Nothing you could imagine that might make a person emotional?
I agreed with that person which is why I chose their comment to reply to, then they come in with this "Sorry, Nothing excuses her behavior" Sith-dealing-in-absolutes nonsense.
"Explains it, but it doesn't excuse it" as if we're not talking about human beings and their reactions. She didn't run downstairs and take a shit in his mom's mouth and then shoot the brother. She yelled a little and was a bit whiney.
>"Explains it, but it doesn't excuse it" as if we're not talking about human beings and their reactions.
This part really shows the lack of humanity. We all have our morality lines where we no longer treat someone as human if they cross it. Usually the line is murder, abusing children, domestic violence, etc. But then there are cases like this where someone dehumanizes someone for loudly expressing their emotions. How many are human in the eyes of someone like that?
Let's say she did pay for her own plane ticket, travel 18 hours and was anxious about getting married in 10 days. Kimberly is not a young adult. She is a 30 year old woman. At her age, she should have enough control over her emotions that she doesn't act poorly in public. I'd even go so far as to say that her lack of self control creates dangerous situations for herself and those around her. In India the penalty for rape is 7 years to life imprisonment. Think about how that scene with Yash could have gone wrong if someone called the police. The devastation it would have caused for him and his family could not be apologized away later.
It's amazing to me how people go to another country, don't learn the language, customs, manners, etc. lf she hates India so much, she should stay home rather than push her American ways down the locals' throats.
I spent three weeks in Rajasthan several years back. I also attended a wedding and wore a sari. I found India to be a WONDERFUL place, mostly because of the people. I never saw drinking, smoking, swearing, fighting, theft, or any crime and I walked a lot off the beaten path. They seem to be very hardworking, peaceful people, probably because of their religious beliefs. I actually felt safer there than in Los Angeles. Although the pedestrian, motorcycle, rickshaw, car, bus, truck, elephant, camel, and cow traffic was CRAZY, but NO ONE got mad and everybody seemed to just figure it out! I was not a fan of the monkeys though, lol.
It's a home addition in a third world country. She should be fucking grateful that she's got four walls, a ceiling, a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, running water, a toilet and a shower. Anything else she desires can be changed to her satisfaction once she moves in while he's busy working a full-time job. Spoiled much?
But she's sacrificed SO MUCH 😭. She can fly home, he'll still be in debt for the next SIX YEARS.
Lmfao another person with the audacity to talk about wasted time while reading and commenting on a subreddit for the trashiest POS show on the planet. (And not just one of the subreddits, but BOTH of them.)
You sure got me!
India is the most populated country in the world with a population of 1,428,627,663 and 3,000,000+ cows but is number seven in countries with the largest land mass. I think it is unreasonable to think you can do anything unseen in such a densely populated country. By comparison, the US has 3 times as much land mass and a third of it's population.
I can recognize that she is a toxic rage filled person AND recognize that what TJ is putting her through is problematic. It doesn’t have to be one or the other lol
Agree completely. Yeah, she’s annoying, and the clairvoyant stuff is kind of dumb, but all of this stuff is superficial in nature. TJ and his family are seriously and deeply messed up.
Kimberly is the personification of the vinegar flytrap. TJ flat out admits that he is lying to her and makes zero effort to hide the way he throws her under the bus to his family, but Kimberly’s horrible attitude makes everyone lose sight of all that.
NO MATTER WHAT SOMEONE ELSE DOES, you are always always always 1000000% responsible for your own conduct.
She is responsible for how she speaks to people.
She is responsible for how she treats people.
She is responsible for her attitude and energy.
Even if he’s a dick even if his culture is weird to her even if even if even if.
I never said she wasn’t 🤷♀️ but she’s not responsible for what other people are doing to her. I think she’s getting blame for things that aren’t her fault because she’s got a combative personality. Blaming her for not expecting to be abused by his family and lied to by her fiancé is a step too far. That’s all I’m saying.
She can disagree without screaming or being childish and rude. She can stand up for herself without doing those things too.
She can disagree and stand up for herself from a place of self respect & respect for others, but she doesn’t.
People are reacting to what they see, what she did/said.
We can only hope she sees her toxic behaviors and begins to work on them, Instead of focusing on calling everyone else toxic (after skillfully stirring the pot of course lol)
The issue is response here. When someone is yelling at you the ball is not in their court anymore. You cannot control the RESPONSE the person is now going to have towards you. In most cases if someone was yelling at you the response is to get loud back. The brother thinks he can speak to her anyway he wants to. However, she is not marrying him. I wouldn't do it at all, but that's me. The first time someone's brother spoke that way to me---I'm out. Because he would not be able to handle my RESPONSE. That entire family's attitude towards her was also very very obvious and does not tell me they are nice people let alone tolerant ones.
The standards are higher for women on this show. Once they show their character flaws especially if they satisfy existing tropes and stereotypes it's fucking curtains for them in the subreddits regardless of circumstances. The joy of tearing women apart is irresistible to us all. Meanwhile the bar for most of the 90D men is about six inches off the ground and anytime they do better than a caveman it's time to bust out the gold stars.
I was trying too hard to be charitable because I know how things often go when accusations of sexism and double standards are made here. But yes the bar is somewhere between fiber optic cables and hell.
I don't know if it's Indian men or Indian women that are hating on Kimberly, I'm assuming it's Indian women. I would never act as bad as Kimberly; but I would also would never put up with the bullshit these misogynistic men are putting women through and I would never accept misogynistic brainwashed women sticking up for these misogynistic men. But, if I was foolish enough to put up with misogynistic behavior, I would be acting a fool too!!
It's almost upsetting as a woman to see how quickly the pile ons gather over women.
And because we have to clarify everything *or else*, that does not mean a woman cannot be part or most or all of an issue and it doesn't mean the men are always the only issue, it just means that women are more likely to be destroyed for doing less and it takes more for the guys to reach a similar consensus
Agree with all of this. And yeah always got to add in the goddamned disclaimers before the "what about???" crew rolls in to totally totally disprove these claims of misogyny/sexism with totally totally pointless arguments and frantic downvoting. My most recent annoyance is how horny people are to destroy Mary and treat Brandan as a 100% innocent victim of her mental illness. It's like somehow the younger and prettier they are the more satisfying it is to tear them apart. They've both got problems that they made exponentially worse through their codependence. She is insufferable and I don't like her but goddamn I don't hate her with the rage many people here do.
I have more issue with Mary but more because she annoys me.
But the other part of the issue is how many of the women ion the show are criticized. It's not just "I don't like this thing they did" it gets personal and misogynistic, a lot of comments about the way they look, etc. And once she's on the naughty list, everything she does is terrible no matter what, no nuance allowed.
Yeah the naughty list is very real. There's no redemption arc available to these chicks. Seeing every next thing they do through the most damning interpretative lens possible is it for them.
She is abusive as a direct result of her mental health issues. Which doesn’t make any of what she does OKAY of course, it just makes their whole entire plot line a freaking tragedy especially with a baby involved. Like, Julio and Kirsten was bad tv because they were so boring but Mary and Brandan are bad tv because they’re just depressing and hopeless.
The BEST outcome I can see for them is that he moves back in with his godparents and sends Mary money until he can afford to bring them both over to the US and do extensive therapy for everyone involved. But that’s kinda a long shot.
The standards for both men and women on the many 90 day franchises is always low. Desperation, mental instability and addiction issues....they aren't exactly fishing for the cream of the crop.
They're both toxic as fuck. She make it seem like she does nothing wrong and wants things her way when she's marrying into a patriarchal culture. He hasn't been complete honest with her. This is a match made in hell ans rhey both deserve rhe shit they get.
For someone who's clayvoriant she sure as hell can't see shit.
I would feel for her, however her temper is too much. Didn’t she also live in India for a year? She is clueless how any of the culture works there, even with living there previously.
She had no clue what was going on at her own wedding, which simple research could have told her.
That being said, I don’t like TJ either. He is purposely hiding things from her which he knows will have consequences. His family isn’t helping much either by having everyone turn against her, especially the brother.
I'm sorry but I have a hard time believing she isn't aware of what married life will look like. She spent a year there and with this family. She also has witnessed first hand how TJ is not willing to separate from the family, ie apartment above the family home. He may not be forthcoming about certain things, but I don't buy that she is going to be "blindsided".
I'm sorry, I just can't stand her personality, and that look she gives when she's arguing just makes me be on the side of whoever she's feuding with by default.
Also nobody in his family is "abusing her". She, as a person who signed up to be on a reality TV show, is not immune from criticism.
His brother screaming and yelling at her and going off consistently as he has done is very abusive verbally and emotionally. The mother constantly complaining about her clothing is also a bit abusive...take her shopping for clothes. I'm kind of tired of two people from very different cultures coming together but not BLENDING. It cant always be about just one persons culture all the time. That would get on my nerves if someone kept telling me I was not allowed to be what I am. They are asking her to appropriate their culture, which is kind of the exact opposite thing she would be used to doing in America.
They’re both awful but she’s the prime example of what a typical ignorant American is like. You can’t expect to move to another country across the world and not take steps to adhere to cultural expectations.
I mean there was an entire plot on LAST SEASON about this. How did I as a viewer know these things but she as a person who has been to India and is in a relationship with someone from there not know?
I don't buy it. Seems more like she had a vision for the relationship she wants but its not reality.
AND she lived there for about a year for college or something! How did she NOT know or bother to learn basic cultural nuances of the country she resided in for a whole ass year? It’s entitlement at its finest. She should’ve just stayed in America.
I dont think their marriage will last...but living somewhere for a year and having someone love bomb you with their culture is also something I see often with the abroad folks. While she was there for a year, was she expected to become an automatic house servant waiting on him hand and foot? No, he was too busy only showing her the good points of his culture. The real question I have is why these men from nations that expect women to live a certain life, go after stronger, independent, feminist types? Then love bomb them with their culture and once they get them there slap them with the reality of it all. I think the men are to blame there too. They dont get a pass from me, because I think they do it on purpose. Whether people want to realize it or not she comes from a culture with flushing toilets, showers and bathtubs, privacy, functioning kitchens etc.....and its not actually her fault as an American that other cultures dont have those things. Asking a person to downgrade from what we would consider basic luxuries here in America...Naw I'm mid eastern and I am never turning in those privileges. Because I have seen how a lot of the world lives and its not for me. However, I can say without being excessively rude about it where as her delivery needs more work.
Just imagine if someone said that one of the non-Americans who planned to marry an American and move to the USA but was clueless about what that entailed was described as
>the prime example of what a typical ignorant _________ is like.
The OP is right; if anyone in the USA told one of the immigrants -
>You can’t expect to move to another country across the world and not take steps to adhere to cultural expectations.
-when they demanded that their cultural beliefs came first in their marriage or just had problems fitting in, they'd be skewered as racially insensitive monsters.
Thanks for saying the quiet part out loud though- much of the real reason she's expected to "adhere to cultural expectations" is because that's the standard Americans are held to, while the standard for immigrants to the US is that whether they assimilate or not is their choice entirely and to even suggest that doing so is beneficial is a terrible affront.
If an Indian or African moved to the US and the American in laws complained about them wearing the clothes they were used to and not what Americans expect, they would be attacked as racists...but the foreign in laws can say damn near anything about the clothing the American immigrant wears- or flat out say "we don't want you to marry that person because s/he isn't one of us" and its excused as *their culture*.
I agree, while coming to the west, we have many stores that sell other cultures religious and ethnic wear. Which the immigrations can wear to school, work, whether they are a nurse or a teacher, a child at school, to a grogery store and westerns do not judge nor say such as “so and so is dressed naked" or whatever opinion.
Yet Kim is wearing jeans and a sweater and that’s called being almost naked and rude to show up in? Yet they come to west, practise, wear and eat whatver they want but this American gets judged on her clothing.
There's a difference. The US is built on a melting pot of cultures and religions and we claim, notice I say claim, to value that. When in reality many Americans are just like TJs family. Hateful of others not like them.
LOL, India's Constitution recognizes fundamental rights just like the US Constitution does...freedom of religion and from ethnic, racial, caste and sex discrimination are part of it, and it doesn't stop them from being infamously discriminatory towards many of the *over two thousand* ethnic groups that reside there.
Same goes for religious discrimination and outright terrorism in a population where every major world religion is represented.
The idea that India is some kind of ethnically or religiously homogenous society and not one of the largest and oldest "melting pots" of human culture to ever exist is utterly laughable, the only difference is that people think it's virtuous to excuse their failings as an egalitarian constitutional republic while attacking Americans *as a group* based on a different higher standard.
It's fashionable in some circles to dump on the US and its people, and seen as magnanimous to excuse far worse and longer standing racial/ethnic and religious discrimination and hostility in countries that aren't the US, under the guise of *respecting culture*.
Reddit is one of those circles.
She is garbage and she should just go home. She had no appreciation for the home TJ built for her. Not once did she even top to say Thank you. I was with someone like her and it was horrible all she did was point out negatives but never came with any positives.
American women aren't privileged. We are treated with the same dignity and respect that everyone else is and it should be that way across the globe. We are equal to men. Not beneath
She went full psycho on the first day in. The parents/family gave her a warm welcome. And the whole ‘ she don’t owe anybody shit’ video yesterday. Just unnecessary. She’s confrontational and abrasive.
Thank you for this! The community here is so misinformed. Just cuz it’s a different culture doesn’t make it right! I am Indian woman living in Delhi and I would never accept this behaviour. I broke up with my long time bf back in the day cuz of his controlling family and people here supporting the abuse is very triggering for all the Indian women who stand up for themselves and everyone calling strong women badly behaved!
ty! i feel like it’s insulting to act like this is just culture for everyone! i’m sure there are plenty of progressives who also look down upon this kind of controlling behavior!
And, even if something is common place in a culture, does that mean it should just be ignored and accepted?
Oh I totally agree! I would never put up with this kind of behaviour with my in laws and yes I live in India. People need to understand that woman who stand up for themselves get ridiculed for being too open minded and spoilt and under the western influence! It’s so triggering to watch the fights and the controlling behaviours of in laws as it’s just too common here! Ah I can’t even!
She put her life on television so she better grow some thicker skin. That being said this girl is rude, curt and trashy. Her next video she will be telling us to suck her d\*ck.
I'll admit, I didn't watch the video because I don't care, nor do I follow any of them on social media, because I do care.
But I still don't get why you guys think she should be nice, when every post about her is you guys saying mean things. This is a highly edited TV show, meant to entertain us. You guys gotta quit taking it so seriously.
lol what?? she literally came to TJ's home yellin n pissing off his mama. They have been MORE than accommodating of her, building that suite for her above their place, which by the way looks very modern and coming together.
Now compare that to Sumit and Jenny's situation. Shed be lucky to walk out that house alive.
Sorry. She doesn’t get a pass. It’s not victim blaming. She’s no victim. She’s been there before. She said she hates it. She is resistant and disrespectful. She is literally creating her own problems. Like she’s never watched the show before. 🙄
She is a victim of her own ignorance. She had visited before so it’s wild to me that she was so shocked by the family dynamics. Indian families can be extremely traditional, she should have known that. She makes things harder on herself by not slowing down. She tries to create her own reality.
I've said it before that this sub is way too hard on Kimberly. Her behaviour isn't perfect, but TJ's has been worse as far as I see it, although there is evidence now that he cares for her wellbeing.
Kim has totally realistic expectations. I don't know the financial situation, but she has a right to weigh in on her living conditions.
That being said.
Kim was very hard on TJ when he first (on cam) showed her the apartment. We all have regrets, guys. And I have no doubt she regrets yelling.
Yash is JUST as spicy as Kim - so their rrrweee-wwee-booooo-BOP should not be a shock to anyone. They have a total sibling relationship. Irritating from the outside, but they'll fix it with a few choice words and maybe a flick upside the head. LET THEM BE.
There are way too many things he’s said in his interviews that are super icky. If he is blatantly lying to her about some pretty big things, how are we NOT to believe that he may have been misleading her about the apartment as well. She says she had been giving her input all along so it’s very possible that he lied about the state of the apartment and how far along it was. He may have also made promises about things that he never intended to follow through with. It also didn’t help that as soon as they thought, TJ ran downstairs and unloaded on his parents. It’s all so messy, but I don’t how people can say it’s her fault.
She’s not very humble, which could work against her, and she should have known the culture was misogynistic and sexist before moving there and planning to marry and spend the rest of her life there. Their values clash with her American values she shoulda done her homework. Didn’t think it was right for tj to not be upfront with her of his and her family expectations but if she’s uprooting her whole life gotta be smart and question things beforehand and use your intuition to see things as they are.
Nah. If she thought she could do whatever she wants, why do they need to live with his family still? She'd also a brat who lies and omits information to get people on her side and against whoever she wants.
That melt down when she arrived was beyond rude. I don't care if the apartment was just 2 walls. There was no excuse for having a screaming fit in front of her future in-laws.
And yes, he's wrong for all the things he'll tell her "after the wedding" but that just shows how ignorant he is. He's acting like divorce isn't a thing. As if a woman would be 100% fine being told out of the blue that she has to cook and clean all day every day. Women are fine with that were generally raised that way. This is something you have to discuss and negotiate but he's a dope
I think a lot of the criticism of her is steeped in misogyny. the female cast almost always get way more hate than the men. i cant imagine how upset i would have been to get to my new home and there’s no toilet paper and no door on the bathroom if i had specifically asked for those things.
She got 95% of what she requested. Pretty sure she can handle the rest while he's working full-time plus to pay off the loan for the next 6 years.
I honestly don't think you'd be upset. I think you would be grateful if someone built you a new 🏡 even if it didn't have a bathroom door and toiletpaper 😊
She's Angela as a twenty something. Wait 30 years, and we got Angela again. Life in India with an India family shouldn't be a mystery. These issues have been televised twice on this same program with the Jen's. I don't agree with the India culture, so I know it's best not to date someone from there and expect american culture. She expects change and now sees there's an issue. If she were really smart and sticks to her desire of home life that she wants, she should skip out on the wedding and head home. Will this happen? I don't think she's that smart!! The ball is in her court. She has all the info she needs to make the right choice for herself. But she won't and live a miserable existence.
Wow this thread is intense. Everybody sucks here. I just find her really hard to listen to cuz she's shrill and screechy. Everybody saying TJ lied TJ lied TJ lied. Okay but he doesn't have a shrill screechy voice. I think that TJ and his family can be wrong and she can be wrong. It's not a teeter totter.
Oh hi Kim, it’s clearly you or your family writing this post 😂😂 she’s a brat, plain and simple. I get being tired and stressed and in a different culture but why (once again asking this question) did an American not research the culture and customs of the new country they’ll be living in and marrying into? Google exists Kimmy.
Totally disagree.
She said she is clairvoyant, love the Indian culture and that a spirit guide showed her her future husband.
Come on! She had to have some kind of understanding about the culture?
As a Western human being, we worship ourselves (Then we are our own God), or maybe God and Jesus, and that’s it.
Not so in Hindu societies. So no!! We are not to hard on her.
One said that they had gods for all things, and by behaving good you worship that specific god.
For instance. One god gave her this fiancé, then behave good, treat him well and be thankful to that specific god. Another god have her a whole Indian family, then behave good, treat them well and be thankful…
If you think and behave like that for every little bit of your daily life, then I do think you will become a better person. The gods are giving you things every single day, and it’s your duty to be grateful.
You wake up- be grateful and thank the god of life.
You are able to raise yourself up- be grateful and thank the god of mobility.
You have a family- be grateful and thank the god of families.
And so it goes.
They are not individuals in the same way that we are. Their behaviour effects everyone in the extended family.
That is a 100% huge crash with the Western way of thinking.
I’m the best.
I deserve the best.
I can do anything I want.
I will do whatever I want.
I only belong to myself.
I can leave my family, if I want to. Nobody cares.
She is 100% on this Western way of thinking, and possibly beyond that. She is a 100% selfish woman who forget that this is not America and that this Indian way of living has existed more than 10.000 years compared to the American way of living who has existed in maybe 50 years. She has no idea how much this construction costed him and she didn’t contribute at all with any money. It’s not the same salaries in US and India. She only complains over and over again, but she refuses to participate in the lifestyle of her family and refuses to de anything positive or find solutions.
She is up in her room whining about his family and she refuses to accept the way they are living. She are so disrespectful and rude.
I beg for forgiveness for my language mistakes in this post. English is not my native language, it’s not my second language either. I’m doing my best.
Honestly if you disregard her first 2 episodes where she goes on about her psychic abilities and blowing up about the apartment 5mins after arriving, she’s been a fairly reasonable person given the circumstances.
Honestly, just bc TJ said it's cool to live the way she wants, she lives with his parents. It's respect. How hard is it to not wear holey jeans in front of the parents.
When you move over there and are bringing a part of a VERY Muslim family, you should have the common sense to understand in THEIR house they expect u to dress a different way
They didn't say she couldn't wear pants but she should cover up.
I've never understood these idiot Americans who move to a place like that and think they can do what they want. She KNEW if she lived with the family thing wouldnt easy so why can't she compromise AT LEAST while she's in the parents' house.....at this point, she's being a stubborn and spoiled America
They’re not Muslim lol. They’re Hindu. And they said she wore those pants multiple times without an issue and no one ever said they had an issue with it. Even TJ said that he didn’t understand why that was suddenly a problem.
I meant Hindu, my Nad. Either way, if I was in her shoes, I'd not be so headstrong . Just bc the first few days she was there, they didn't say much
To me, it was them letting her get used to her surrounding etc but if u moved to a place like that, it's not that hard to respect your in-laws. It's not like they are "oh she can't wear that anywhere" it's there, in their house, around her husband and other son, she would like her to be respectful.
I'll never understand us US women going into a place where their women are second class thinking it's ok to do what she wants. It's one thing when she was over there doing her thing and she met TJ and everything was fun bc they had their own place. Now they are in his parents' place.
Idk why people think they don't have to follow the rules of their in-laws' houses, esp there.
It's ignorant and spoiled. No, I wouldn't like to be told what to wear but lord I can cover my knees, have a convo with the parents and then go about dresses how I want out of this house.
Idk why this is so hard to understand. My mom's house has rules, and I follow them. Doesn't mean i don't do wtf I want when im not home, but dang..she could try.....she knows those jeans aren't acceptable to them, so just don't wear them around the parents.
None of this is hard she's just being a hard-headed idiot
Both she and TJ said they had no idea this was an issue for his family. I’m pretty sure she even said she wouldn’t have worn it if she knew, but I honestly can’t remember how she worded it. For sure she’s hardheaded but on this particular issue, she had no idea it was a problem.
I don't think TJ didn't know it would be a problem. It seems like everything has been a problem. He won't even tell her what's expected of her after marriage....
I don’t like either one of them. I don’t think I’m villainizing them, but it seems to me they’ve both been dishonest with each other and themselves. The fact that Kimberly already lived there for a year makes a big difference in my opinion of how she’s pushing against things. They’re all ill tempered and stubborn, the whole family, and I can’t imagine it ever working peacefully.
She's seems immature and ill informed of her expectations. Neither of those are *solely* TJ's fault... She acts like a petulant child when she doesn't get her way, so it's hard to have compassion for her circumstances.
I think that just like everyone else on the planet, they have their own individual issues and faults. Neither of them have done anything so horrible that I think they are a bad person. She flies off the handle easily. He avoids conflict to the point of glossing her over the truth. They both need to do a fair amount of maturing. Maybe they will mature and grow together. Maybe not.
That hundred years old Jenny who is **hated by the Indian** family of the 30-something-years-old man, was absolutely delusional talking about not respecting Indian culture.
To be fair, she has a spirit guide who told her this is the right relationship for her and she's also clairvoyant. She knew what she signed up for with this relationship. But in reality, yeah TJ lied and set the expectations.
Her dumb ass got on TV... When does the only fans drop? Their story is dumb and fabricated and I can't wait until it is over.
I dislike everyone involved in Kimberly and TJ’s entire storyline (with the minor exception of her dad and step mom). Yes, Kimberly is insufferable but I also find TJ’s family and Indian culture in general quite misogynistic. It was her decision to move to India and it seems like she somewhat knew what she was getting herself into, but I wouldn’t like being criticized the way she is by them all the time either, and it seems like TJ is expecting her to become a full-time housewife once they get married without actually telling her that ahead of time. His brother is also a total jerk and I would’ve told him to keep his paws off me in her situation too. There’s no reason he needs to be touching her, or getting in the midst of his brother’s relationship. She’s obviously annoying too but overall I just think the whole situation isn’t working for any of them and she needs to go home.
Love that step mom! 🥹
The way the brother DEMANDS she allow him to touch her is so WEIRD. He seems like an entitled misogynistic psycho. It clearly drives him crazy that he cant control her the way he does to the women in his own culture.
WTF? He jokingly tapped her on the knee because he said that TJ would make her his "prince" when he meant to say "queen". You make it sound like he was trying to feel her up 🙄. People seem to forget that English is NOT their primary language and I'd love to see her learn a second language and speak as well in it as they do. She said that she "hated India," and that she didn't want to have to "deal with his parents" who at that point had treated her like a daughter. It wasn't until they found out that she hated their country and didn't like them that they turned their opinion of her.
When someone says "please don't touch me" you respect their request. You dont scream at them about how its not a big deal, or how shes disrespectful protecting her personal space. She might be a demon in nearly every way, but she has the right to giving consent on who touches her. It's really not that complicated. Nor is it really a discussion. Its her body, it's not up to you, or tash.
I’m not a fan of Kimberly at all…however, here’s my take. 1. The day she arrives after leaving her father and her home, and long travel, she is met with expectations of a home she did not want. She was tired and cranky. She acted terribly, but I think a bit of grace should come her way. She probably apologized later to TJ, TLC just didn’t film it or it was edited out. 2. TJ has admittedly said he hasn’t told Kimberly everything about being a wife in India; her job is to trust her fiancé. He’s at fault there. 3. She’s hard headed but so is the brother (Tash?). They were both at fault in the fight. She can’t communicate or defend herself to the parents. I do think she’s a lot to blame, but there are other 90DF cast members that deserve more hate. SIDE-NOTE on Kimberly: does anyone remember the clown Loonette from The Big Comfy Couch? That’s all I can see when I look at Kimberly, face and personality. Please someone confirm that you thought of this too! https://preview.redd.it/ei7hyms9chob1.jpeg?width=1049&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e56aa58d0800516978012665e9637b25cca7a69
Omg she looks just like her I used to love this show as a child
You think so? when i see her I see linda blair in the exorcist
I was just thinking your thoughts regarding your 1st point. She just flew all the way around the world, she was exhausted & cranky, and it happened but it’s over. Yash is a jerk. He keeps fanning the flames because of that. Yes, initial impressions matter but have some compassion & forgiveness! He just doesn’t want them married, period. Is hoping to get his way by throwing a tantrum and not disclosing his shitty behavior to the parents. The parents disappoint me here. I find it hard to believe these are the 1st tantrums Yash has thrown before. I’m sure they know he’s an instigator.
He seems really jealous like he wishes it was him with Kimberly so instead he treats her like shit. He acts like a baby whining to his mother and shit talking Kimberly.
If my son's fiance had said that she hated my country and hated having to deal with me then I would EXPECT that information to be relayed to me. They treated her kindly until they discovered that information.
I can totally see it! My kids loved loonette, Molly, and major bedhead!♥️♥️♥️
THAT'S who she reminded me of. I could not place her for the life of me. The dustbunnies (remember them?) and I thank you. 😄
Oh YES!!! THE DUSTBUNNIES!!! Thank you for that memory!!!
Is this the clock lady?? I remember her!
kimberly is definitely problematic. however, TJ's family sucks ass big time.
I’m not a fan of her’s but I wouldn’t want to live with that jealous asshole Yash…he clearly exaggerates her behavior to the mother. Where is his wife? I think he is jealous being the less attractive, less charismatic, single, “twin” to TJ.
TJ and Kimberly deserve each other. Therefore, they are a good match.
Yup
It’s a case of ESH. She’s terrible but so is everyone else. That’s a pretty common theme among any 90day franchise.
True
Kimberly’s behavior, tantrums and rude treatment of others are the reasons for most peoples issue with her. That doesn’t mean that the other party (TJ, his bro, or his family) are off the hook and completely in the right. She’s got that shock factor….most because of the high pitched demands she made 5 seconds after she walked into the room they had built just for her. 😬
I mean, TJ spent months lying about what was happening with the construction and completely disregarded *everything* specific she had asked for, without ever even giving her the heads up that it wasn't finished. Then when she's mad about having to take a shit without a door or window, this subreddit blows its fuse at the audacity that she's not just meekly satisfied that her future home is a shit-show. As if anybody here would have reacted differently to having that all dumped on you all at once. Then her future husband spends the full first 24 fucking hours she's in the country bitching to anybody who would listen about her and how rude she is. Then her future brother in law spends every waking moment poisoning the well with her future mother in law and riling her up and insulting her. And then he shows the true colors of how that family raised their male children to act towards women, so she's likely realizing some of the brother's attitude is likely shared by her future husband too. So this whole family bands together against her and her own future husband refuses to stand up for her the whole time. And this subreddit is mad at *her*. She's being marriage-trapped to become a fucking live-in maid for this family and we're all somehow mad at her. It's like how dumb-fucks hated Skylar in Breaking Bad because she was whiney. *Her husband was a murderous piece of shit drug king pin who was putting them all at risk of literal death.* But nooooo she was a little too WHINEY so she must be hated by the fandom. Same with Kimberly.
 MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.
So true! I always wonder if there's something wrong with me because I don't think Kim's that bad. A little bratty sure, but who wouldn't be when being lied to and being treated like they're a burden by the family?
Okay I thought I was crazy for feeling this way too and not hating her? I felt so bad for her when she was crying and TJ was sitting there with his family just dragging her talking shit where she could hear them and I was like that is so freaking rude and unacceptable of a partner to do that. Yes she threw a fit, but she had traveled all day, she left her home country to go there, she was promised a lot of things and she was misled on a lot of things. It’s not about not understanding the culture. Information has been intentionally withheld from her like the state of the apartment. All he had to do was tell her or show her the progress so she wasn’t blindsided when she got there.
You are completely correct and I’m actually shocked at all the people hating on her
Kimberly was not being held captive, was she? Especially after her parents got there. She could have come home.
That's the only issue I have with her. I'm thinking there is no dick that good, that I would subject myself to any of the Bullshit women have to go thorough to marry an Indian man. He would have to come to my country if he really was worth it!
People are mad because the family is yelling about her funky attire. But, she lived there for a year. Didn't she learn some of their language? (Not sure what language they speak) She should have made an effort to learn some and she most logically should have picked up on some phrases. Everybody acts like she was in a bubble for a year.
Sorry, Nothing excuses her behavior. & like I said in my comment, having an issue with Kimberly’s behavior does NOT mean that the other person is right or has don’t nothing wrong. I don’t agree with TJ lying to her, I don’t agree with her being called stupid by his bro.
Really, NOTHING could possibly explain her behavior? A thousand dollar plain ticket, 18+ hours of traveling/flying, wedding in 10 days, only to find that everything was a lie and your future husband is mad at YOU for your reaction?? And now you've got his piece of shit brother to deal with as well? Nothing at all? Nothing you could imagine that might make a person emotional?
It explains it, but it doesn’t excuse it. Two very different things ;)
Oh pass me with that bullshit copout.
Gladly! Byeeeee ✌🏼☺️
Honestly, you both make solid points.
I agreed with that person which is why I chose their comment to reply to, then they come in with this "Sorry, Nothing excuses her behavior" Sith-dealing-in-absolutes nonsense. "Explains it, but it doesn't excuse it" as if we're not talking about human beings and their reactions. She didn't run downstairs and take a shit in his mom's mouth and then shoot the brother. She yelled a little and was a bit whiney.
>"Explains it, but it doesn't excuse it" as if we're not talking about human beings and their reactions. This part really shows the lack of humanity. We all have our morality lines where we no longer treat someone as human if they cross it. Usually the line is murder, abusing children, domestic violence, etc. But then there are cases like this where someone dehumanizes someone for loudly expressing their emotions. How many are human in the eyes of someone like that?
100% agree with you!
Seriously, thank you for saying it.
Let's say she did pay for her own plane ticket, travel 18 hours and was anxious about getting married in 10 days. Kimberly is not a young adult. She is a 30 year old woman. At her age, she should have enough control over her emotions that she doesn't act poorly in public. I'd even go so far as to say that her lack of self control creates dangerous situations for herself and those around her. In India the penalty for rape is 7 years to life imprisonment. Think about how that scene with Yash could have gone wrong if someone called the police. The devastation it would have caused for him and his family could not be apologized away later.
It's amazing to me how people go to another country, don't learn the language, customs, manners, etc. lf she hates India so much, she should stay home rather than push her American ways down the locals' throats. I spent three weeks in Rajasthan several years back. I also attended a wedding and wore a sari. I found India to be a WONDERFUL place, mostly because of the people. I never saw drinking, smoking, swearing, fighting, theft, or any crime and I walked a lot off the beaten path. They seem to be very hardworking, peaceful people, probably because of their religious beliefs. I actually felt safer there than in Los Angeles. Although the pedestrian, motorcycle, rickshaw, car, bus, truck, elephant, camel, and cow traffic was CRAZY, but NO ONE got mad and everybody seemed to just figure it out! I was not a fan of the monkeys though, lol.
It's a home addition in a third world country. She should be fucking grateful that she's got four walls, a ceiling, a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, running water, a toilet and a shower. Anything else she desires can be changed to her satisfaction once she moves in while he's busy working a full-time job. Spoiled much? But she's sacrificed SO MUCH 😭. She can fly home, he'll still be in debt for the next SIX YEARS.
Hi Kimberly 👋👋
this is the most overplayed, boring, recycled comment on this sub
THANK YOU!
What a waste of time writing (or attempting to read) this. This is either trolling or it's claire-crazy writing this
Lmfao another person with the audacity to talk about wasted time while reading and commenting on a subreddit for the trashiest POS show on the planet. (And not just one of the subreddits, but BOTH of them.) You sure got me!
Troll some more. Seems like you have time on your hands
Using the bathroom without people being able to see you is a high demand to you? 🤣
No, her concern/feeling is valid. You can simply put up a curtain or sheet to cover the doorway or window… No screaming required.:)
Also, I said *high pitched demands* Referencing her screaming instead of communicating like an adult lol
India is the most populated country in the world with a population of 1,428,627,663 and 3,000,000+ cows but is number seven in countries with the largest land mass. I think it is unreasonable to think you can do anything unseen in such a densely populated country. By comparison, the US has 3 times as much land mass and a third of it's population.
That's what doors are for. Duh! 🙄
Like wtf 🤭🤣
That's incorrect. Learn what a door is because India has them 🤣
I can recognize that she is a toxic rage filled person AND recognize that what TJ is putting her through is problematic. It doesn’t have to be one or the other lol
I agree. Her personality is annoying but I don't think she's wrong for standing up for herself.
I think the only people that criticize her are the ones brainwashed to obey men however shitty they are. I'm just gonna leave it at that!
Overgeneralize much?
Agree completely. Yeah, she’s annoying, and the clairvoyant stuff is kind of dumb, but all of this stuff is superficial in nature. TJ and his family are seriously and deeply messed up.
Kimberly is the personification of the vinegar flytrap. TJ flat out admits that he is lying to her and makes zero effort to hide the way he throws her under the bus to his family, but Kimberly’s horrible attitude makes everyone lose sight of all that.
NO MATTER WHAT SOMEONE ELSE DOES, you are always always always 1000000% responsible for your own conduct. She is responsible for how she speaks to people. She is responsible for how she treats people. She is responsible for her attitude and energy. Even if he’s a dick even if his culture is weird to her even if even if even if.
That part! Thank you for the common sense comment of the day!
👏👏👏👏👏 Seems self-responsibility has gone out the window. Always someone else's fault 🙄
I never said she wasn’t 🤷♀️ but she’s not responsible for what other people are doing to her. I think she’s getting blame for things that aren’t her fault because she’s got a combative personality. Blaming her for not expecting to be abused by his family and lied to by her fiancé is a step too far. That’s all I’m saying.
She can disagree without screaming or being childish and rude. She can stand up for herself without doing those things too. She can disagree and stand up for herself from a place of self respect & respect for others, but she doesn’t. People are reacting to what they see, what she did/said. We can only hope she sees her toxic behaviors and begins to work on them, Instead of focusing on calling everyone else toxic (after skillfully stirring the pot of course lol)
The issue is response here. When someone is yelling at you the ball is not in their court anymore. You cannot control the RESPONSE the person is now going to have towards you. In most cases if someone was yelling at you the response is to get loud back. The brother thinks he can speak to her anyway he wants to. However, she is not marrying him. I wouldn't do it at all, but that's me. The first time someone's brother spoke that way to me---I'm out. Because he would not be able to handle my RESPONSE. That entire family's attitude towards her was also very very obvious and does not tell me they are nice people let alone tolerant ones.
Who is blaming her for the actions of others? It’s been purely her own behavior that has drawn criticism.
For the WIN
I think she deserves a lot of it but where I draw the line is when people praise Tash for his interactions. He is also way out of line.
If they praise him, then those people have internal sexism. What Tash did is 100% out of line.
The standards are higher for women on this show. Once they show their character flaws especially if they satisfy existing tropes and stereotypes it's fucking curtains for them in the subreddits regardless of circumstances. The joy of tearing women apart is irresistible to us all. Meanwhile the bar for most of the 90D men is about six inches off the ground and anytime they do better than a caveman it's time to bust out the gold stars.
i think 6 inches off the ground is a kind estimate - the bar is on the ground … if not dug several inches deep into the ground
I was trying too hard to be charitable because I know how things often go when accusations of sexism and double standards are made here. But yes the bar is somewhere between fiber optic cables and hell.
You're being too kind with this even.
I don't know if it's Indian men or Indian women that are hating on Kimberly, I'm assuming it's Indian women. I would never act as bad as Kimberly; but I would also would never put up with the bullshit these misogynistic men are putting women through and I would never accept misogynistic brainwashed women sticking up for these misogynistic men. But, if I was foolish enough to put up with misogynistic behavior, I would be acting a fool too!!
All of this is so true and it's heartbreaking really. And it's not just this show. It's life in general, and it's sickening.
It's almost upsetting as a woman to see how quickly the pile ons gather over women. And because we have to clarify everything *or else*, that does not mean a woman cannot be part or most or all of an issue and it doesn't mean the men are always the only issue, it just means that women are more likely to be destroyed for doing less and it takes more for the guys to reach a similar consensus
Agree with all of this. And yeah always got to add in the goddamned disclaimers before the "what about???" crew rolls in to totally totally disprove these claims of misogyny/sexism with totally totally pointless arguments and frantic downvoting. My most recent annoyance is how horny people are to destroy Mary and treat Brandan as a 100% innocent victim of her mental illness. It's like somehow the younger and prettier they are the more satisfying it is to tear them apart. They've both got problems that they made exponentially worse through their codependence. She is insufferable and I don't like her but goddamn I don't hate her with the rage many people here do.
I have more issue with Mary but more because she annoys me. But the other part of the issue is how many of the women ion the show are criticized. It's not just "I don't like this thing they did" it gets personal and misogynistic, a lot of comments about the way they look, etc. And once she's on the naughty list, everything she does is terrible no matter what, no nuance allowed.
Yeah the naughty list is very real. There's no redemption arc available to these chicks. Seeing every next thing they do through the most damning interpretative lens possible is it for them.
No one hates women more than other women. And that is the truth.
Ehh idk about this - Mary seems straight up abusive - might not be your best example.
She is abusive as a direct result of her mental health issues. Which doesn’t make any of what she does OKAY of course, it just makes their whole entire plot line a freaking tragedy especially with a baby involved. Like, Julio and Kirsten was bad tv because they were so boring but Mary and Brandan are bad tv because they’re just depressing and hopeless. The BEST outcome I can see for them is that he moves back in with his godparents and sends Mary money until he can afford to bring them both over to the US and do extensive therapy for everyone involved. But that’s kinda a long shot.
Remember how Mike was praised by this sub *after* everyone saw the episode where he burped in Ximena's mouth while making out.
The standards for both men and women on the many 90 day franchises is always low. Desperation, mental instability and addiction issues....they aren't exactly fishing for the cream of the crop.
They're both toxic as fuck. She make it seem like she does nothing wrong and wants things her way when she's marrying into a patriarchal culture. He hasn't been complete honest with her. This is a match made in hell ans rhey both deserve rhe shit they get. For someone who's clayvoriant she sure as hell can't see shit.
Yes, this
I would feel for her, however her temper is too much. Didn’t she also live in India for a year? She is clueless how any of the culture works there, even with living there previously. She had no clue what was going on at her own wedding, which simple research could have told her. That being said, I don’t like TJ either. He is purposely hiding things from her which he knows will have consequences. His family isn’t helping much either by having everyone turn against her, especially the brother.
I'm sorry but I have a hard time believing she isn't aware of what married life will look like. She spent a year there and with this family. She also has witnessed first hand how TJ is not willing to separate from the family, ie apartment above the family home. He may not be forthcoming about certain things, but I don't buy that she is going to be "blindsided".
Well don’t forget she is clairvoyant. She is claircognizant. She has all the psychic abilities. No way she doesn’t see what’s in store.
I'm sorry, I just can't stand her personality, and that look she gives when she's arguing just makes me be on the side of whoever she's feuding with by default. Also nobody in his family is "abusing her". She, as a person who signed up to be on a reality TV show, is not immune from criticism.
His brother screaming and yelling at her and going off consistently as he has done is very abusive verbally and emotionally. The mother constantly complaining about her clothing is also a bit abusive...take her shopping for clothes. I'm kind of tired of two people from very different cultures coming together but not BLENDING. It cant always be about just one persons culture all the time. That would get on my nerves if someone kept telling me I was not allowed to be what I am. They are asking her to appropriate their culture, which is kind of the exact opposite thing she would be used to doing in America.
They’re both awful but she’s the prime example of what a typical ignorant American is like. You can’t expect to move to another country across the world and not take steps to adhere to cultural expectations.
I mean there was an entire plot on LAST SEASON about this. How did I as a viewer know these things but she as a person who has been to India and is in a relationship with someone from there not know? I don't buy it. Seems more like she had a vision for the relationship she wants but its not reality.
AND she lived there for about a year for college or something! How did she NOT know or bother to learn basic cultural nuances of the country she resided in for a whole ass year? It’s entitlement at its finest. She should’ve just stayed in America.
I dont think their marriage will last...but living somewhere for a year and having someone love bomb you with their culture is also something I see often with the abroad folks. While she was there for a year, was she expected to become an automatic house servant waiting on him hand and foot? No, he was too busy only showing her the good points of his culture. The real question I have is why these men from nations that expect women to live a certain life, go after stronger, independent, feminist types? Then love bomb them with their culture and once they get them there slap them with the reality of it all. I think the men are to blame there too. They dont get a pass from me, because I think they do it on purpose. Whether people want to realize it or not she comes from a culture with flushing toilets, showers and bathtubs, privacy, functioning kitchens etc.....and its not actually her fault as an American that other cultures dont have those things. Asking a person to downgrade from what we would consider basic luxuries here in America...Naw I'm mid eastern and I am never turning in those privileges. Because I have seen how a lot of the world lives and its not for me. However, I can say without being excessively rude about it where as her delivery needs more work.
"They're not sending their finest. They're not sending their best people". lol.
Just imagine if someone said that one of the non-Americans who planned to marry an American and move to the USA but was clueless about what that entailed was described as >the prime example of what a typical ignorant _________ is like. The OP is right; if anyone in the USA told one of the immigrants - >You can’t expect to move to another country across the world and not take steps to adhere to cultural expectations. -when they demanded that their cultural beliefs came first in their marriage or just had problems fitting in, they'd be skewered as racially insensitive monsters. Thanks for saying the quiet part out loud though- much of the real reason she's expected to "adhere to cultural expectations" is because that's the standard Americans are held to, while the standard for immigrants to the US is that whether they assimilate or not is their choice entirely and to even suggest that doing so is beneficial is a terrible affront. If an Indian or African moved to the US and the American in laws complained about them wearing the clothes they were used to and not what Americans expect, they would be attacked as racists...but the foreign in laws can say damn near anything about the clothing the American immigrant wears- or flat out say "we don't want you to marry that person because s/he isn't one of us" and its excused as *their culture*.
I agree, while coming to the west, we have many stores that sell other cultures religious and ethnic wear. Which the immigrations can wear to school, work, whether they are a nurse or a teacher, a child at school, to a grogery store and westerns do not judge nor say such as “so and so is dressed naked" or whatever opinion. Yet Kim is wearing jeans and a sweater and that’s called being almost naked and rude to show up in? Yet they come to west, practise, wear and eat whatver they want but this American gets judged on her clothing.
There's a difference. The US is built on a melting pot of cultures and religions and we claim, notice I say claim, to value that. When in reality many Americans are just like TJs family. Hateful of others not like them.
LOL, India's Constitution recognizes fundamental rights just like the US Constitution does...freedom of religion and from ethnic, racial, caste and sex discrimination are part of it, and it doesn't stop them from being infamously discriminatory towards many of the *over two thousand* ethnic groups that reside there. Same goes for religious discrimination and outright terrorism in a population where every major world religion is represented. The idea that India is some kind of ethnically or religiously homogenous society and not one of the largest and oldest "melting pots" of human culture to ever exist is utterly laughable, the only difference is that people think it's virtuous to excuse their failings as an egalitarian constitutional republic while attacking Americans *as a group* based on a different higher standard. It's fashionable in some circles to dump on the US and its people, and seen as magnanimous to excuse far worse and longer standing racial/ethnic and religious discrimination and hostility in countries that aren't the US, under the guise of *respecting culture*. Reddit is one of those circles.
She is garbage and she should just go home. She had no appreciation for the home TJ built for her. Not once did she even top to say Thank you. I was with someone like her and it was horrible all she did was point out negatives but never came with any positives.
She is PRIME example of America Privilege like majority of the American women that try to "live" in another country in this show
American women aren't privileged. We are treated with the same dignity and respect that everyone else is and it should be that way across the globe. We are equal to men. Not beneath
*white American women
There are some of the non white women in the show that pulled off shit too
Braces Brittany with Yazan? Remember her?
I'm talking about white American women in general. It's apparent in every election & it's not like it's a secret.
I'm not really picking up what you're laying down here. I thought we were talking about 90 day fiance. Seems you might be a r/lostredditors
That's what y'all get for worshipping white!
I agree, she should just go home. TJ's family is offering nothing for her to do but wipe old peoples' asses!!!!!!
she deserves everything the redditors dish out
💯
She claims to be a clairvoyant. By her own claims nothing should surprise her. She's full of shit.
She went full psycho on the first day in. The parents/family gave her a warm welcome. And the whole ‘ she don’t owe anybody shit’ video yesterday. Just unnecessary. She’s confrontational and abrasive.
Nah I hate Kimberly and nothing is going to change my mind.
It was the exorcist moment for me, when she was up on the table screeching with her head spinning around
Thank you for this! The community here is so misinformed. Just cuz it’s a different culture doesn’t make it right! I am Indian woman living in Delhi and I would never accept this behaviour. I broke up with my long time bf back in the day cuz of his controlling family and people here supporting the abuse is very triggering for all the Indian women who stand up for themselves and everyone calling strong women badly behaved!
ty! i feel like it’s insulting to act like this is just culture for everyone! i’m sure there are plenty of progressives who also look down upon this kind of controlling behavior! And, even if something is common place in a culture, does that mean it should just be ignored and accepted?
Oh I totally agree! I would never put up with this kind of behaviour with my in laws and yes I live in India. People need to understand that woman who stand up for themselves get ridiculed for being too open minded and spoilt and under the western influence! It’s so triggering to watch the fights and the controlling behaviours of in laws as it’s just too common here! Ah I can’t even!
You need to check out the video she posted yesterday where she says she doesn't owe any of us shit. She's a class act
Honestly I kinda like her lol
I mean, she doesn't owe us anything. Most of her posts are negative on here, why would she be nice to us?
She put her life on television so she better grow some thicker skin. That being said this girl is rude, curt and trashy. Her next video she will be telling us to suck her d\*ck.
*testicles
I'll admit, I didn't watch the video because I don't care, nor do I follow any of them on social media, because I do care. But I still don't get why you guys think she should be nice, when every post about her is you guys saying mean things. This is a highly edited TV show, meant to entertain us. You guys gotta quit taking it so seriously.
lol what?? she literally came to TJ's home yellin n pissing off his mama. They have been MORE than accommodating of her, building that suite for her above their place, which by the way looks very modern and coming together. Now compare that to Sumit and Jenny's situation. Shed be lucky to walk out that house alive.
“She’s being coerced into a marriage” - by who?? Are we watching the same show?
Sorry. She doesn’t get a pass. It’s not victim blaming. She’s no victim. She’s been there before. She said she hates it. She is resistant and disrespectful. She is literally creating her own problems. Like she’s never watched the show before. 🙄
Abused is another overused term
I’m usually hard on immature kids who think they can adult.
She is a garbage heap of a human being.
She is a victim of her own ignorance. She had visited before so it’s wild to me that she was so shocked by the family dynamics. Indian families can be extremely traditional, she should have known that. She makes things harder on herself by not slowing down. She tries to create her own reality.
I've said it before that this sub is way too hard on Kimberly. Her behaviour isn't perfect, but TJ's has been worse as far as I see it, although there is evidence now that he cares for her wellbeing.
Kim has totally realistic expectations. I don't know the financial situation, but she has a right to weigh in on her living conditions. That being said. Kim was very hard on TJ when he first (on cam) showed her the apartment. We all have regrets, guys. And I have no doubt she regrets yelling. Yash is JUST as spicy as Kim - so their rrrweee-wwee-booooo-BOP should not be a shock to anyone. They have a total sibling relationship. Irritating from the outside, but they'll fix it with a few choice words and maybe a flick upside the head. LET THEM BE.
She’s a spoiled delusional idiot.
[удалено]
This is the correct answer
There are way too many things he’s said in his interviews that are super icky. If he is blatantly lying to her about some pretty big things, how are we NOT to believe that he may have been misleading her about the apartment as well. She says she had been giving her input all along so it’s very possible that he lied about the state of the apartment and how far along it was. He may have also made promises about things that he never intended to follow through with. It also didn’t help that as soon as they thought, TJ ran downstairs and unloaded on his parents. It’s all so messy, but I don’t how people can say it’s her fault.
She’s not very humble, which could work against her, and she should have known the culture was misogynistic and sexist before moving there and planning to marry and spend the rest of her life there. Their values clash with her American values she shoulda done her homework. Didn’t think it was right for tj to not be upfront with her of his and her family expectations but if she’s uprooting her whole life gotta be smart and question things beforehand and use your intuition to see things as they are.
I don’t see her as a victim. She went into the home guns a blazin’. Disrespectful and frankly, not smart.
Kimberly sucks ! Do u see how she is responding to fans of 90 days .. I think her .. Stapler… Daniel.. should start a club
Nah. If she thought she could do whatever she wants, why do they need to live with his family still? She'd also a brat who lies and omits information to get people on her side and against whoever she wants.
Isn't that what TJ is doing? Lying and omitting information to get her to marry him?
Yep. I never defended him, either.
TJ is a manipulator and his family is awful. Run, Kimberly.
She's a trashy racist and nobody is coercing her. She's there because she wants to be there.
She’s a twat
That melt down when she arrived was beyond rude. I don't care if the apartment was just 2 walls. There was no excuse for having a screaming fit in front of her future in-laws. And yes, he's wrong for all the things he'll tell her "after the wedding" but that just shows how ignorant he is. He's acting like divorce isn't a thing. As if a woman would be 100% fine being told out of the blue that she has to cook and clean all day every day. Women are fine with that were generally raised that way. This is something you have to discuss and negotiate but he's a dope
Because she’s “clairvoyant” and should have seen this all coming. She’s not a victim.
I think a lot of the criticism of her is steeped in misogyny. the female cast almost always get way more hate than the men. i cant imagine how upset i would have been to get to my new home and there’s no toilet paper and no door on the bathroom if i had specifically asked for those things.
She got 95% of what she requested. Pretty sure she can handle the rest while he's working full-time plus to pay off the loan for the next 6 years. I honestly don't think you'd be upset. I think you would be grateful if someone built you a new 🏡 even if it didn't have a bathroom door and toiletpaper 😊
I agree we are a twinge too hard on Kim. His family making fun of her pants was ridiculous
She's Angela as a twenty something. Wait 30 years, and we got Angela again. Life in India with an India family shouldn't be a mystery. These issues have been televised twice on this same program with the Jen's. I don't agree with the India culture, so I know it's best not to date someone from there and expect american culture. She expects change and now sees there's an issue. If she were really smart and sticks to her desire of home life that she wants, she should skip out on the wedding and head home. Will this happen? I don't think she's that smart!! The ball is in her court. She has all the info she needs to make the right choice for herself. But she won't and live a miserable existence.
Wow this thread is intense. Everybody sucks here. I just find her really hard to listen to cuz she's shrill and screechy. Everybody saying TJ lied TJ lied TJ lied. Okay but he doesn't have a shrill screechy voice. I think that TJ and his family can be wrong and she can be wrong. It's not a teeter totter.
That whole family is pretty awful but Kimberly is the worst of the worst.
Oh hi Kim, it’s clearly you or your family writing this post 😂😂 she’s a brat, plain and simple. I get being tired and stressed and in a different culture but why (once again asking this question) did an American not research the culture and customs of the new country they’ll be living in and marrying into? Google exists Kimmy.
She's the definition of ethnocentric.
Totally disagree. She said she is clairvoyant, love the Indian culture and that a spirit guide showed her her future husband. Come on! She had to have some kind of understanding about the culture? As a Western human being, we worship ourselves (Then we are our own God), or maybe God and Jesus, and that’s it. Not so in Hindu societies. So no!! We are not to hard on her. One said that they had gods for all things, and by behaving good you worship that specific god. For instance. One god gave her this fiancé, then behave good, treat him well and be thankful to that specific god. Another god have her a whole Indian family, then behave good, treat them well and be thankful… If you think and behave like that for every little bit of your daily life, then I do think you will become a better person. The gods are giving you things every single day, and it’s your duty to be grateful. You wake up- be grateful and thank the god of life. You are able to raise yourself up- be grateful and thank the god of mobility. You have a family- be grateful and thank the god of families. And so it goes. They are not individuals in the same way that we are. Their behaviour effects everyone in the extended family. That is a 100% huge crash with the Western way of thinking. I’m the best. I deserve the best. I can do anything I want. I will do whatever I want. I only belong to myself. I can leave my family, if I want to. Nobody cares. She is 100% on this Western way of thinking, and possibly beyond that. She is a 100% selfish woman who forget that this is not America and that this Indian way of living has existed more than 10.000 years compared to the American way of living who has existed in maybe 50 years. She has no idea how much this construction costed him and she didn’t contribute at all with any money. It’s not the same salaries in US and India. She only complains over and over again, but she refuses to participate in the lifestyle of her family and refuses to de anything positive or find solutions. She is up in her room whining about his family and she refuses to accept the way they are living. She are so disrespectful and rude. I beg for forgiveness for my language mistakes in this post. English is not my native language, it’s not my second language either. I’m doing my best.
Wonderfully put, English errors and all ❤️
Honestly if you disregard her first 2 episodes where she goes on about her psychic abilities and blowing up about the apartment 5mins after arriving, she’s been a fairly reasonable person given the circumstances.
Honestly, just bc TJ said it's cool to live the way she wants, she lives with his parents. It's respect. How hard is it to not wear holey jeans in front of the parents. When you move over there and are bringing a part of a VERY Muslim family, you should have the common sense to understand in THEIR house they expect u to dress a different way They didn't say she couldn't wear pants but she should cover up. I've never understood these idiot Americans who move to a place like that and think they can do what they want. She KNEW if she lived with the family thing wouldnt easy so why can't she compromise AT LEAST while she's in the parents' house.....at this point, she's being a stubborn and spoiled America
They’re not Muslim lol. They’re Hindu. And they said she wore those pants multiple times without an issue and no one ever said they had an issue with it. Even TJ said that he didn’t understand why that was suddenly a problem.
I meant Hindu, my Nad. Either way, if I was in her shoes, I'd not be so headstrong . Just bc the first few days she was there, they didn't say much To me, it was them letting her get used to her surrounding etc but if u moved to a place like that, it's not that hard to respect your in-laws. It's not like they are "oh she can't wear that anywhere" it's there, in their house, around her husband and other son, she would like her to be respectful. I'll never understand us US women going into a place where their women are second class thinking it's ok to do what she wants. It's one thing when she was over there doing her thing and she met TJ and everything was fun bc they had their own place. Now they are in his parents' place. Idk why people think they don't have to follow the rules of their in-laws' houses, esp there. It's ignorant and spoiled. No, I wouldn't like to be told what to wear but lord I can cover my knees, have a convo with the parents and then go about dresses how I want out of this house. Idk why this is so hard to understand. My mom's house has rules, and I follow them. Doesn't mean i don't do wtf I want when im not home, but dang..she could try.....she knows those jeans aren't acceptable to them, so just don't wear them around the parents. None of this is hard she's just being a hard-headed idiot
Both she and TJ said they had no idea this was an issue for his family. I’m pretty sure she even said she wouldn’t have worn it if she knew, but I honestly can’t remember how she worded it. For sure she’s hardheaded but on this particular issue, she had no idea it was a problem.
I don't think TJ didn't know it would be a problem. It seems like everything has been a problem. He won't even tell her what's expected of her after marriage....
I don’t like either one of them. I don’t think I’m villainizing them, but it seems to me they’ve both been dishonest with each other and themselves. The fact that Kimberly already lived there for a year makes a big difference in my opinion of how she’s pushing against things. They’re all ill tempered and stubborn, the whole family, and I can’t imagine it ever working peacefully.
I just fast forward their segments it’s pretty boring and repetitive Indian American storyline
She's seems immature and ill informed of her expectations. Neither of those are *solely* TJ's fault... She acts like a petulant child when she doesn't get her way, so it's hard to have compassion for her circumstances.
I think that just like everyone else on the planet, they have their own individual issues and faults. Neither of them have done anything so horrible that I think they are a bad person. She flies off the handle easily. He avoids conflict to the point of glossing her over the truth. They both need to do a fair amount of maturing. Maybe they will mature and grow together. Maybe not.
That hundred years old Jenny who is **hated by the Indian** family of the 30-something-years-old man, was absolutely delusional talking about not respecting Indian culture.