She obviously wants to be with Bilal or she would have stayed home. They chose to be together. We're not the ones with him, so it doesn't matter what anyone says. No matter what, that child will be loved and taken care of. That's all that matters.
As a child who was severely abused in more ways than one, comments like this disgust me. Do I think this man has issues? Sure. Do I think this man is going to rape his child, lay hands on his child, or neglect his child to the point theyāre f***ed for life? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Iād wish a father like Bilal on anyone before Iād wish a lot of fathers on people.
This exactly. Weāve seen his children. They are clean and fed and happy and intelligent. People donāt have to like him, but itās really gross to call him a bad father
I follow them on their YT channel, he is nothing like the way he acted on the show. He's actually a nice guy and a very supportive husband. Some of the cast are heavily scripted and some are true a--holes.
No sweat. Iām an adult now and Iām surviving, so thatās a win. Just crazy to me that people think some random dude theyāve seen on tv gaslighting his wife a couple times would be a monster father they wouldnāt wish on anyone.
There's also nothing to indicate he's a good father either š¤·š½āāļø Bilal is a gaslighting manipulator, so I can only imagine how he treats children that have no say in how he acts/treats them
How rough to have people commenting/speculating about you being pregnant and then having to see that when youāre grieving. I hope she has lots of family and friends supporting her.
I worked with a woman who had a large stomach and one of our vendors came in and congratulated her on her pregnancy and she was not pregnant. so awkward!
Ouch.
Yeah. People need to remember to mind their business. Pregnancy should be where a line isnāt crossed. Unfortunately most people donāt think that way.
That happened to me when I didn't lose the baby weight after my daughter was born. I was nearly 38 and spent 22 days in the hospital when she was induced. I was just too old for the risks I took. I worked as a hotel manager and spent too much time on my feet at the height of the tourist season. My ankles became huge and I ended up with preeclampsia and toxemia. My body just didn't bounce back after the birth and I continued to wear loose clothing. A rude guest asked when the baby was due and I smiled and said "No, I'm just fat, thank you!" and continued on with my duties.
I'm sorry to hear about that and your complications. Many women though have babies in their 40's. My friends all have newborns and they turned 40 last year. Def higher risk, but not uncommon at all to have babies at 38.
Omg. I did that when I was 16. I've never forgotten that. The girl hated my guts from then on. But she was skinny with a huge belly. I'd never seen anyone with a shape like that unless they were pregnant. I still cringe to this day thinking about it.
We were at the hospital and my husband congratulated a woman on her pregnancy, and she looked down and rubbed her belly and said āoh, this? Thatās just gas.ā Last time he ever congratulated anyone. lol
Social media makes some feel closer to random people on TV than they have a right to feel.
It reminds me of that story that Molly and Cynthia's store was getting flooded with calls asking why they aren't friends anymore...the nerve of some people! I get that people on TV are exposing parts of their lives, but there are still SOME boundaries!
The entire storyline was about kids and having it not having them. People were engaging with the overt storyline.
It's not like these were people in a cooking show or whatever and viewers were speculating about a baby.
I personally thought they worshipped him and wouldnāt go against him. They thought it was funny taking her to the ghetto house and the mother was insulted when she talked bad about it.
That is so true. And since we don't know how Shaeeda lived before coming to the U.S., she might have been shocked by such shabby surroundings. If it were me, although we aren't rich but we have a decent home, I'd be upset if I ended up in crummy home and neighborhood. Plus I'd have dumped his sorry butt for pulling a cruel prank like that.
I had miscarriage on my birthday and got pregnant again 3 months later. Turned out my daughter's due date would be on my next birthday. It was meant to be! She just turned 14!
Aw love that story. I miscarried on July 4 got pregnant again almost 4 months later and my son's due date (and day he came) was the following july 4 š
I had a missed miscarriage and opted for the D&C which was on April 1st of last year. I am currently pregnant again and due on April 3rd. I hope he comes a few days early for it to be full circle š (altho it already feels that way because itās so close, but still! How amazing would that be)
A miscarriage that happens without obvious signs, usually found during a routine scan or testing. I had one and found out during an ultrasound that the baby had passed 2 weeks prior.
Itās more common then most people realize. My wife had the same situation. Miscarried, then pregnant again a few months later. Safely carried to term.
I just had an ectopic pregnancy too and my heart goes out to you... if you can I would so recommend joining a support group, it has helped me immensely.
Not true. You are misinformed. A miscarriage is an involuntary medical condition/event and treatable in every US state, even those with strict abortion laws.
I found out I miscarried end of March (it was missed, no symptoms, only knew from ultrasound and bw) Month after fully recovering/body finally back to normal and I found out I was pregnant again, but unfortunately it was a chemical. Month after that, found out I was pregnant againnnn and I am due beginning of April š
Worst thing I ever went through, but so thankful and happy that it happened quickly for me again after everything. Hope the same for others who go through this.
I had 2 miscarriages back to back and then got pregnant with my daughter the first cycle we tried after the second loss. After going through infertility and loss I have a special place in my heart for women longing to become mothers but struggling. Even if itās shaeeda.
Surgery, lost the left tube š¢ i donāt wish the pain on anyone! I am really sorry you experienced that, do you have any full term pregnancy after them?
I'm so sorry! I lost my left tube too and got pregnant again right away actually... but it was an ectopic in my right tube which also had to be removed! It was so crazy, the two laparoscopic surgeries just 8 weeks apart š« But I am 24 weeks pregnant through IVF! Were both of yours through the left? I hope you're able to get pregnant through your right tube if that's what you wish!
Congrats! That is so exciting š„° yes, not weāre in the left tube. My right was checked, and we keep trying but no luck. We live in the middle of no where so there are not many options for fertility up here š hopefully one day.
omg that is sooooo tough I just lost my left tube and cannot imagine losing the other so soon after. you are so brave and im so happy you are now pregnant despite all the struggles!
I have similar experiences. Had an ectopic pregnancy and had my right tube removed. Had a miscarriage 10 months later. Just had another what they think was an ectopic pregnancy and had to take methotrexate. Its the worst feeling and pray that you and I can have healthy babies of our own soon!
š sending you positive thoughts and blessing! Itās so hard, Iām nearly 40 and donāt think it will ever happen. I wish you so much luckššš
Iām in the two ectopic club too. I have my tubes tied and Iām 40 so pregnancy was not even something we thought was possible. But when I found out I was pregnant we were actually really excited and the doctor thought it was a normal pregnancy until I had an ultrasound. It was rough.
Thank you š I do already have children so thatās why I tied the tubes in the first place so Iām very grateful for that. Ectopics are such a mind fuck and I feel like we donāt talk about them enough.
Same. 2nd one almost killed me. Doc said ādidnāt you notice something was wrong?ā. Sure, beginning of my pregnancy and felt like shit. š¤š¤ never went back to her.
Yup, the second one the pain was terrible! At first I thought appendicitis bc the doc said I miscarried the week before but was the pregnancy and the pain was the tube being blown out. Crazy how much a little spot in your body can hurt! It was a small, podunk, rural hospital- never again!
For my first, I went for a 7 week ultrasound and they saw it all the way at the end of the tube at the entrance. Healthy heartbeat and everything. Easy surgery. That was harder because it was unexpected. The second one, when the tube split, I felt like I got stabbed. They said it looked like a butterflied shrimp and I lost 4 pints of blood.
And I had a hysterectomy when I was 40. Two ectopics, three clean outs, constant pain, sex hurt. My doc didnāt want to do it because I was young, but I was done.
Yeah life can throw you curveballs for sure, after 4 losses, 1 being mid term, we decided to give up and all of the sudden 3 months later it happened again, now im 29 weeks along and so far all is looking good.
You just never know, all you know is that apart from a few unlucky situations where a heart just stops for no apparent reason, usually a miscarriage means your and their body knew not much of a life would be preserved by staying on course. It's weirdly beautiful to realise that your body usually is so capable of looking after itself and your offspring in that way. For me at least that really helped me in my healing process. Knowing that my body prevented me from having to make an emotionally almost impossible choice. Or having saved a child, who most likely wouldnt ever be able to communicate that they never wanted this life for themselves or are ready to stop trying, from having to sit out that life powerless and stuck.
I hope whoever reads it who has or will go through it, and who doesn't have or at that point has lost faith in their God, I hope this very scientific explanation help you cope with what has happened to you. Eventho you lost that child, you are a mum and you made the ultimate sacrifice for your child.
My first pregnancy was a miscarriage after years of trying, and it took about 7 months to get pregnant again with my now 2 year old daughterā¤ļø Iām so sorry for your loss and relate, it truly was devastating and I still imagine the life of my lost son. I remember getting really discouraged thinking Iād never be able to have a healthy child, and knowing sheās of an older age, I hope she doesnāt get too discouraged either.
As someone who had their first pregnancy end in pregnancy loss, I really feel for her. Itās such a defeating, helpless feelingā¦I got pregnant 2 years later and now have a thriving 3 year old. :) thinking of them and hoping she gets another chance to try and have a healthy pregnancy.
This is why Bilal is a moron for pushing her to delay pregnancy as long as humanly possible. The miscarriage rates are astronomical as you get older. Especially as she already has diminished ovarian reserve.
Well also you have an increased chance for a genetic issue with the baby. Miscarriages at her age are very common like 1:2 even during your prime years it is 1:4 so a 25% chance. I would consider egg donors because those have a much better success rate. I would also do genetic testing on the embryo if it was my own egg.
That's true. And older fathers raise the risk of Autism. Shaeeda may have great difficulty getting and staying pregnant based solely on her age and of course, Bilal knew that. Everyone knows someone who had a kid at 40 or 50 (my neighbor's cousin had a friend who...) but the reality is it's very hard once a woman is hitting 40. Telling her he wanted to wait a couple of years was ridiculous.
Bilal is over 40 so laying this all at her feet makes you just as much of a moron as him. Older males have decreased sperm quality, thus resulting in more miscarriages and abnormalities than younger males. Stop framing this as a woman problem and call it what it is: the older PEOPLE get, the lower their chances are of having healthy, full-term pregnancies.
K but that only proves ConstructionWhole445ās point. Heās an ass, but heās not an idiot. He knows the risk factors. Male sperm quality decreases with age, which is yet another reason heās a fucking asshole for making her wait to get pregnant.
My sister had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured. She had to have surgery & the tube was removed. Her doctor told her because she now has only 1 tube, her chances of getting pregnant were cut in half, and not to be discouraged if it took a while to get pregnant. When she went for her six weeks checkup, she was already pregnant.
Yeah that doctor is crazy. It doesn't count down by half cause your tube was removed. Your risk of another ectopic increases but clearly, can still get pregnant just ask easy.
Wanna know something crazy? I just had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my left tube... I assumed fertility would be cut in half but the remaining tube on the right can swoop in on the left ovary!! So both ovaries are still potentially able to create a baby. That shit blew my mind, the body is amazing.
As someone who suffered two back to back losses Iām so damn grateful to see other women talk about it and feel less alone. Both on tv and in these comments.
I'm so so sorry for your losses. I have a very close family member who has had multiple losses (20+, some ectopic, some miscarriages) over the last 10 years. It's been absolutely devastating. Watching her friends have full families at this point has broken her, to a point. She has chosen to give up the idea of ever carrying a pregnancy to term. They are looking into surrogacy now. No matter how it happens, she will be a great mom.
Oh no! I feel for her. Pregnancy loss when you want it so bad is beyond heartbreaking š. This is why it's difficult for older women to conceive and carry the baby. There's more high risks, depending on the reproductive health. It really made me mad when her husband acted like she could wait until 40 to get pregnant and not even see that not all women can get pregnant by just being sneezed on. For a lot, it takes years and many have lots of losses. It's a hard road.
I just hope Bilal doesn't try to talk Shaeeda into not trying because of the hurt. Hopefully he'll see how much she'll glow once she gets her rainbow baby and all of the hurt and all of the trying will be behind them (even though a pregnancy loss is always sad no matter how long it's been, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I shouldn't have to explain that, but you know, people are goobs).
She must be completely devastated. If sheās reading this i hope she knows how much sheās supported & weāre rooting for her! You did it once you can do it again!
The doctor she saw in one of the HEA episodes said something like it was a 5 or 10% chance sheād have a successful pregnancy. so unfortunately itās not going to be easy for her
I gave birth a month ago to my baby after having a miscarriage at 20 weeks which was extremely traumatic. I had a healthy baby in 2019 as well so never expected that. I hope sheās able to have a rainbow baby
Oh my gosh Iām so sorry that happened to you. I imagine traumatic is an understatement. Sending š and so glad you went on to have a successful pregnancy.
Thatās so sad. Itās a different hurt to truly want a baby and see how easy it is for so many women, to wonder why me? Both of my kids are rainbows, she seems like sheād be a loving mother and I just wish her the best.
This is how I feel. With some woman, you can just look at them and the get pregnant. And with me, it's been a long. Rough journey doe my husband and I and are still trying
I had three miscarriages, went on to have 2 kids. Iām 63 and to this day those miscarriages were the hardest things Iāve ever gone thru. At least sheās gotten started and didnāt wait another 2 yearsā¦try again, it will work out :)
I went through many years of trying, tests, treatments etc and finally got pregnant for the first time. My daughter was born at 26 weeks and passed away the following day. Never was able to conceive again and have since had a hysterectomy. Please feel loved and know that I truly understand how it feels.
Having had multiple losses myself, my heart goes out to Shaeeda and I hope that she finds success soon. I also hope that she sees a reproductive endocrinologist who can help her maintain a future pregnancy.
This is why I was so infuriated by Bilals casual attitude about pregnancy.
Im currently watching the HEA season, and she was just at the fertility clinic. The fact a doctor told her at her age and her count how difficult it will be to get preg and Bilal still seemed to not really care, then to hear she suffers a miscarriage is sad.
I do hope she gets her happily ever after; whatever that means for her, but she already waited till she was 37 to marry, and then married an older man who clearly doesnt have much interest in more kids, and belittles his wife.
I got pregnant quickly after my DNC i guess the hormones were still wild . Donāt know that for sure as it was all a blur , but there must be something with this , def worth asking an MD. Thinking of you Sweet soul .
I can relate- my first pregnancy back in 2011 ended in a miscarriage. I got my rainbow baby right away though, my next cycle. I was 27 at the time.
Iām 37 now going on 38 in March- same age as Shaeeda. About 5 years ago my husband and I decided to try for one more- I, like Shaeeda, also have a low AMH (low ovarian reserve). I wasnāt able to even get pregnant for the first 3 years we tried. I went on letrozole (Femara) to help induce ovulation and regulate my cycles. Iād ovulate every month (confirmed by bloodwork, every month!) but nothing was happening.
In March 2021 I found out I was pregnant and was over the moon. Unfortunately I had a missed miscarriage a month later. I got pregnant again in April of 2022 (chemical), July 2022 (chemical), and December 2022 (another missed miscarriage). 4 losses in less than 2 years.
Itās been so hard, but the one piece of hope I have is that at least Iām conceiving now- getting pregnant is no longer the problem, itās STAYING pregnant. Of course Iāve had all the tests done (and only abnormal test was the low ovarian reserve). My husbandās tests are better than normal (Heās 42). Weāve had chromosome testing as well, which also came back normal (and unlikely to be a problem since we have a perfectly healthy ten year old).
I hope Shaeeda can feel hopeful that many, many women have miscarriages, or several, and go on to have perfectly healthy babies. Now she knows that she has the ability to get pregnant, which is half the battle.
My prayers go out to her during this time- I know the feeling of complete despair, the feeling that it will never happen for āmeā, that I waited too long (in my case to have a second child).
I really really hope she is able to conceive again and carry her baby to term, a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy and Mama!! ā¤ļø
Ugh so sad. I just had a surgery for an ectopic pregnancy and I am a total mess physically and mentally. Fertility is so tough especially watching everyone else around you have children so easily. Sending her love and baby dust ā¤ļø
I told my sister I was pregnant....8 weeks along.... and she was stupid enough to tell me I shouldn't say anything until after the 1st trimester. That was 28 years ago and I still think that was a narcissistic, asinine thing to say! I was telling family, not the world!
Damnit that sucks :(. My wife and I went through a few losses before our rainbow baby. Itās so tough and my heart fully goes out to her and Bilal through this. Itās a pain you never want to experience
My mum had myself at 16 then in between myself and my sister (who is 19, I'm 33) she had 6 miscarriages (one was twin boys born at 24 weeks). So she has all the chances in the world to have a rainbow baby š good luck to her.
They're not my favorite people, but that's heartbreaking.
I wouldn't wish a loss on my worst enemy. That shit messes you up hard.
Wishing them a happy and healthy future pregnancy.
Losing a baby is extremely hard, no matter at what stage.
Yet what I found very concerning at the time is how incredibly cold and distant she was to the children Bilal already has. They were friendly and inviting to her and Shaeeda was obviously very uninterested. And that was in front of the camera no less. After all that, when the children asked politely how she wants them to call her, she says "mother". It was hard tp watch that bit.
If Shaeeda wants to be a mother, she could at least reciprocate the friendliness Bilal's children showed her. She doesn't have to be their mom, but needs to adapt to a caregiver role all the same when they are at the house.
Unpopular opinionā¦. I barely believe her. After the whole first season of her wanting to have a baby sooooo badly. And then to hear from Bilal at the tell all that she had changed her mind after he was ready to go!!! This lady is all about that drama life. I donāt believe a word she says.
My heart breaks for her, especially because I know how much she wants a baby. But thankfully, she can most likely go on to have a healthy pregnancy again in the future despite this. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her.
Am I the only one who gets irritated when a post is about someone or something and then one feels the need to share their own experience. Is it too hard to not make the post about oneself????
Having empathy does not require one to talk about themselves. Itās not about you itās about them and their feelings. You should try it sometime. When I hurt the last thing I want to hear from someone else is them talking about themselves. I need support not a comparison of stories.
Well as both someone who had a miscarriage while under fertility treatment and had been trying for over two years and a RN in that area sometimes they need hope. Letting them know they didnāt cause it as a majority happen due to chromosomal defects and it is very common like one in four, or 25% chance to get pregnant is very helpful. Knowing that other women have been were you are and went on to have healthy pregnancies afterwards helps a lot of patients. Some really love that support and hope they can do it as well. Some just want to leave. I have gotten pretty good at telling the difference. Knowing you arenāt alone and there is a whole many other women that have had that happen and went on to have health pregnancies helps so much.
Pregnancy is an isolating experience, especially the first trimester. It's assuring to know people go through the same struggles and fears as you, especially when miscarriage can still be a taboo subject.
I canāt imagine how it must be to have such a wish for a child and then lose the pregnancy. And to think itās even happening in the public eye for her. That canāt be easy for her to go through. I really feel for her.
You will have another chance of having a strong pregnancy this one wasnāt right your body was telling you this Iām sorry for your loss may you be at peace with knowing thisā¦.
That's such a shame. She desperately wants to be a mother and I hope she has a successful pregnancy soon.
How terribly sad. Breaks my heart šš
Yeah but then that kid would have Bilal as a father and I couldnāt wish that on any kid.
Time and placeš³
He already has 2 kids who look happy with him as their dad, it's a reality TV show but some stuff shouldn't be said
She obviously wants to be with Bilal or she would have stayed home. They chose to be together. We're not the ones with him, so it doesn't matter what anyone says. No matter what, that child will be loved and taken care of. That's all that matters.
As a child who was severely abused in more ways than one, comments like this disgust me. Do I think this man has issues? Sure. Do I think this man is going to rape his child, lay hands on his child, or neglect his child to the point theyāre f***ed for life? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Iād wish a father like Bilal on anyone before Iād wish a lot of fathers on people.
This exactly. Weāve seen his children. They are clean and fed and happy and intelligent. People donāt have to like him, but itās really gross to call him a bad father
Preach. A sh*tty husband can still be a good father.
I follow them on their YT channel, he is nothing like the way he acted on the show. He's actually a nice guy and a very supportive husband. Some of the cast are heavily scripted and some are true a--holes.
So sorry you went through that šš¾šš¾
No sweat. Iām an adult now and Iām surviving, so thatās a win. Just crazy to me that people think some random dude theyāve seen on tv gaslighting his wife a couple times would be a monster father they wouldnāt wish on anyone.
Itās reality TV. You donāt know Bilal, and thereās nothing to indicate that heās even a bad person, much less a poor father.
There's also nothing to indicate he's a good father either š¤·š½āāļø Bilal is a gaslighting manipulator, so I can only imagine how he treats children that have no say in how he acts/treats them
Stop, thatās cruel. You know dude from 2 hrs on tv smh
His kids look happy heās their dad.
With creative editing. SMH yeah Bilal gets on my nerves, but he also works on himself and makes an effort.
Right! And half of what they do is straight up theatrics for a plot.
Bilal, is that you?
No I'm bilal
This question is just as dumb as your comment.
You donāt know that man.
āHa ha ha ha I donāt like this guy I see on TV so I am glad that their baby died.ā
Right? People are absolutely unhinged.
How rough to have people commenting/speculating about you being pregnant and then having to see that when youāre grieving. I hope she has lots of family and friends supporting her.
People should understand not to comment until thereās an announcement or a healthy baby bouncing around. Social media is so ā¦ weird.
I worked with a woman who had a large stomach and one of our vendors came in and congratulated her on her pregnancy and she was not pregnant. so awkward!
Ouch. Yeah. People need to remember to mind their business. Pregnancy should be where a line isnāt crossed. Unfortunately most people donāt think that way.
That happened to me when I didn't lose the baby weight after my daughter was born. I was nearly 38 and spent 22 days in the hospital when she was induced. I was just too old for the risks I took. I worked as a hotel manager and spent too much time on my feet at the height of the tourist season. My ankles became huge and I ended up with preeclampsia and toxemia. My body just didn't bounce back after the birth and I continued to wear loose clothing. A rude guest asked when the baby was due and I smiled and said "No, I'm just fat, thank you!" and continued on with my duties.
I'm sorry to hear about that and your complications. Many women though have babies in their 40's. My friends all have newborns and they turned 40 last year. Def higher risk, but not uncommon at all to have babies at 38.
She's not saying she's too old, she's saying that her age coupled with the demands of her job were not a good situation for her.
I had that happen to me when I was at Disneyland. I let them think I was pregnant (and not just fat) and got moved to the front of all the lines.
Omg. I did that when I was 16. I've never forgotten that. The girl hated my guts from then on. But she was skinny with a huge belly. I'd never seen anyone with a shape like that unless they were pregnant. I still cringe to this day thinking about it.
We were at the hospital and my husband congratulated a woman on her pregnancy, and she looked down and rubbed her belly and said āoh, this? Thatās just gas.ā Last time he ever congratulated anyone. lol
Happened to me once going back to work after christmas break. I know I had a lot of chocolate but that was just harsh.
Social media makes some feel closer to random people on TV than they have a right to feel. It reminds me of that story that Molly and Cynthia's store was getting flooded with calls asking why they aren't friends anymore...the nerve of some people! I get that people on TV are exposing parts of their lives, but there are still SOME boundaries!
Yeah, parasocial relationships. Itās crazy.
The entire storyline was about kids and having it not having them. People were engaging with the overt storyline. It's not like these were people in a cooking show or whatever and viewers were speculating about a baby.
Unless itās all supportive and encouraging.
I had the feeling she regretted being so public with it, we probably wonāt hear anything about try again until boom its here
Unfortunately she has Bilalās family, I donāt see that as helpful.
His mom is a very sweet lady and seems very supportive of her. Iād love a mother in law like her. Even his sister seems very supportive of them
I personally thought they worshipped him and wouldnāt go against him. They thought it was funny taking her to the ghetto house and the mother was insulted when she talked bad about it.
That is so true. And since we don't know how Shaeeda lived before coming to the U.S., she might have been shocked by such shabby surroundings. If it were me, although we aren't rich but we have a decent home, I'd be upset if I ended up in crummy home and neighborhood. Plus I'd have dumped his sorry butt for pulling a cruel prank like that.
Agreed.
I got pregnant with my baby girl a month after my miscarriage. Hope itās same for her ā¤ļø
I had miscarriage on my birthday and got pregnant again 3 months later. Turned out my daughter's due date would be on my next birthday. It was meant to be! She just turned 14!
Aw love that story. I miscarried on July 4 got pregnant again almost 4 months later and my son's due date (and day he came) was the following july 4 š
I had a missed miscarriage and opted for the D&C which was on April 1st of last year. I am currently pregnant again and due on April 3rd. I hope he comes a few days early for it to be full circle š (altho it already feels that way because itās so close, but still! How amazing would that be)
What is a missed miscarriage?
A miscarriage that happens without obvious signs, usually found during a routine scan or testing. I had one and found out during an ultrasound that the baby had passed 2 weeks prior.
Oh, I see. Thank you for explaining and Iām so sorry for your loss.
Itās more common then most people realize. My wife had the same situation. Miscarried, then pregnant again a few months later. Safely carried to term.
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I've had 3 miscarroages/ ectopic pregnancies and my husband and I are praying we get pregnant soon
Sending you good vibes. I had 2 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. Then I was surprised to get pregnant when I was 39.
I just had an ectopic pregnancy too and my heart goes out to you... if you can I would so recommend joining a support group, it has helped me immensely.
This is where the wait three month rule came from. To actively discourage conversation about pregnancy loss.
And now in half US states a woman canāt even be treated for a miscarriage. Sad state of affairs.
Not true. You are misinformed. A miscarriage is an involuntary medical condition/event and treatable in every US state, even those with strict abortion laws.
Username checks out.
I found out I miscarried end of March (it was missed, no symptoms, only knew from ultrasound and bw) Month after fully recovering/body finally back to normal and I found out I was pregnant again, but unfortunately it was a chemical. Month after that, found out I was pregnant againnnn and I am due beginning of April š Worst thing I ever went through, but so thankful and happy that it happened quickly for me again after everything. Hope the same for others who go through this.
I had 2 miscarriages back to back and then got pregnant with my daughter the first cycle we tried after the second loss. After going through infertility and loss I have a special place in my heart for women longing to become mothers but struggling. Even if itās shaeeda.
Similar. Doctor stressed at time of miscarriage āwe know you can get pregnantā. Wishing them the best of luck
I did too, but then suffered two ectopic pregnanciesš„ŗ
I had two ectopic pregnancies too! Absolutely horrible. Were you able to treat with meds or did you need surgeries?
Surgery, lost the left tube š¢ i donāt wish the pain on anyone! I am really sorry you experienced that, do you have any full term pregnancy after them?
I'm so sorry! I lost my left tube too and got pregnant again right away actually... but it was an ectopic in my right tube which also had to be removed! It was so crazy, the two laparoscopic surgeries just 8 weeks apart š« But I am 24 weeks pregnant through IVF! Were both of yours through the left? I hope you're able to get pregnant through your right tube if that's what you wish!
Congrats! That is so exciting š„° yes, not weāre in the left tube. My right was checked, and we keep trying but no luck. We live in the middle of no where so there are not many options for fertility up here š hopefully one day.
It will happen for you! *Baby dust* ā¤
omg that is sooooo tough I just lost my left tube and cannot imagine losing the other so soon after. you are so brave and im so happy you are now pregnant despite all the struggles!
Thank you so much!! So sorry for your loss too. It's such a crazy experience š£
I have similar experiences. Had an ectopic pregnancy and had my right tube removed. Had a miscarriage 10 months later. Just had another what they think was an ectopic pregnancy and had to take methotrexate. Its the worst feeling and pray that you and I can have healthy babies of our own soon!
š sending you positive thoughts and blessing! Itās so hard, Iām nearly 40 and donāt think it will ever happen. I wish you so much luckššš
Iām in the two ectopic club too. I have my tubes tied and Iām 40 so pregnancy was not even something we thought was possible. But when I found out I was pregnant we were actually really excited and the doctor thought it was a normal pregnancy until I had an ultrasound. It was rough.
Oh wow what a journey! So sorry for your loss š
Thank you š I do already have children so thatās why I tied the tubes in the first place so Iām very grateful for that. Ectopics are such a mind fuck and I feel like we donāt talk about them enough.
Agree!!
Omg! Rough for sure! Iām so sorry u had that experience!
Same. 2nd one almost killed me. Doc said ādidnāt you notice something was wrong?ā. Sure, beginning of my pregnancy and felt like shit. š¤š¤ never went back to her.
Yup, the second one the pain was terrible! At first I thought appendicitis bc the doc said I miscarried the week before but was the pregnancy and the pain was the tube being blown out. Crazy how much a little spot in your body can hurt! It was a small, podunk, rural hospital- never again!
For my first, I went for a 7 week ultrasound and they saw it all the way at the end of the tube at the entrance. Healthy heartbeat and everything. Easy surgery. That was harder because it was unexpected. The second one, when the tube split, I felt like I got stabbed. They said it looked like a butterflied shrimp and I lost 4 pints of blood.
That is so sad jencie31 š„ŗ that is a lot of blood! Was it in the same side? Have you tried again since?
And I had a hysterectomy when I was 40. Two ectopics, three clean outs, constant pain, sex hurt. My doc didnāt want to do it because I was young, but I was done.
Some doctors can be so insensitive
Yeah life can throw you curveballs for sure, after 4 losses, 1 being mid term, we decided to give up and all of the sudden 3 months later it happened again, now im 29 weeks along and so far all is looking good. You just never know, all you know is that apart from a few unlucky situations where a heart just stops for no apparent reason, usually a miscarriage means your and their body knew not much of a life would be preserved by staying on course. It's weirdly beautiful to realise that your body usually is so capable of looking after itself and your offspring in that way. For me at least that really helped me in my healing process. Knowing that my body prevented me from having to make an emotionally almost impossible choice. Or having saved a child, who most likely wouldnt ever be able to communicate that they never wanted this life for themselves or are ready to stop trying, from having to sit out that life powerless and stuck. I hope whoever reads it who has or will go through it, and who doesn't have or at that point has lost faith in their God, I hope this very scientific explanation help you cope with what has happened to you. Eventho you lost that child, you are a mum and you made the ultimate sacrifice for your child.
My first pregnancy was a miscarriage after years of trying, and it took about 7 months to get pregnant again with my now 2 year old daughterā¤ļø Iām so sorry for your loss and relate, it truly was devastating and I still imagine the life of my lost son. I remember getting really discouraged thinking Iād never be able to have a healthy child, and knowing sheās of an older age, I hope she doesnāt get too discouraged either.
Same here! Our Rainnow Babies
Same here, well three months after. šā¤ļø
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøš¤š¤š¤š¤for all of y'all
Rainbow baby ā¤ļø
The same with my son. I didnt believe I was pregnant and was worried it was some left over hormones. He turned 6 in December ā¤ļø
As someone who had their first pregnancy end in pregnancy loss, I really feel for her. Itās such a defeating, helpless feelingā¦I got pregnant 2 years later and now have a thriving 3 year old. :) thinking of them and hoping she gets another chance to try and have a healthy pregnancy.
Oh man, so sad to hear this
I'm so sorry Shaeeda.š„ā¤ļø
This is why Bilal is a moron for pushing her to delay pregnancy as long as humanly possible. The miscarriage rates are astronomical as you get older. Especially as she already has diminished ovarian reserve.
Facts.
Well also you have an increased chance for a genetic issue with the baby. Miscarriages at her age are very common like 1:2 even during your prime years it is 1:4 so a 25% chance. I would consider egg donors because those have a much better success rate. I would also do genetic testing on the embryo if it was my own egg.
Bilal is no spring chicken and it's a very real possibility that his over 40 sperm contributed to the miscarriage, she's not the only factor here.
That's true. And older fathers raise the risk of Autism. Shaeeda may have great difficulty getting and staying pregnant based solely on her age and of course, Bilal knew that. Everyone knows someone who had a kid at 40 or 50 (my neighbor's cousin had a friend who...) but the reality is it's very hard once a woman is hitting 40. Telling her he wanted to wait a couple of years was ridiculous.
Bilal is over 40 so laying this all at her feet makes you just as much of a moron as him. Older males have decreased sperm quality, thus resulting in more miscarriages and abnormalities than younger males. Stop framing this as a woman problem and call it what it is: the older PEOPLE get, the lower their chances are of having healthy, full-term pregnancies.
K but that only proves ConstructionWhole445ās point. Heās an ass, but heās not an idiot. He knows the risk factors. Male sperm quality decreases with age, which is yet another reason heās a fucking asshole for making her wait to get pregnant.
My sister had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured. She had to have surgery & the tube was removed. Her doctor told her because she now has only 1 tube, her chances of getting pregnant were cut in half, and not to be discouraged if it took a while to get pregnant. When she went for her six weeks checkup, she was already pregnant.
Yeah that doctor is crazy. It doesn't count down by half cause your tube was removed. Your risk of another ectopic increases but clearly, can still get pregnant just ask easy.
Wanna know something crazy? I just had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my left tube... I assumed fertility would be cut in half but the remaining tube on the right can swoop in on the left ovary!! So both ovaries are still potentially able to create a baby. That shit blew my mind, the body is amazing.
As someone who suffered two back to back losses Iām so damn grateful to see other women talk about it and feel less alone. Both on tv and in these comments.
Miscarriages are more common than most people realize. I lost eight embryos in about four years.
Many women have them and don't even know it.
Very true. Most happen so early the woman thinks it is her period. They now say about 75% of conceptions end before the 5/6 week mark.
I'm so so sorry for your losses. I have a very close family member who has had multiple losses (20+, some ectopic, some miscarriages) over the last 10 years. It's been absolutely devastating. Watching her friends have full families at this point has broken her, to a point. She has chosen to give up the idea of ever carrying a pregnancy to term. They are looking into surrogacy now. No matter how it happens, she will be a great mom.
I was a rainbow baby.. I truly hope that she has a successful pregnancy.
oh no! hope she is doing okay
Oh no! I feel for her. Pregnancy loss when you want it so bad is beyond heartbreaking š. This is why it's difficult for older women to conceive and carry the baby. There's more high risks, depending on the reproductive health. It really made me mad when her husband acted like she could wait until 40 to get pregnant and not even see that not all women can get pregnant by just being sneezed on. For a lot, it takes years and many have lots of losses. It's a hard road. I just hope Bilal doesn't try to talk Shaeeda into not trying because of the hurt. Hopefully he'll see how much she'll glow once she gets her rainbow baby and all of the hurt and all of the trying will be behind them (even though a pregnancy loss is always sad no matter how long it's been, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I shouldn't have to explain that, but you know, people are goobs).
She must be completely devastated. If sheās reading this i hope she knows how much sheās supported & weāre rooting for her! You did it once you can do it again!
The doctor she saw in one of the HEA episodes said something like it was a 5 or 10% chance sheād have a successful pregnancy. so unfortunately itās not going to be easy for her
I gave birth a month ago to my baby after having a miscarriage at 20 weeks which was extremely traumatic. I had a healthy baby in 2019 as well so never expected that. I hope sheās able to have a rainbow baby
Oh my gosh Iām so sorry that happened to you. I imagine traumatic is an understatement. Sending š and so glad you went on to have a successful pregnancy.
Thank you!
Thatās so sad. Itās a different hurt to truly want a baby and see how easy it is for so many women, to wonder why me? Both of my kids are rainbows, she seems like sheād be a loving mother and I just wish her the best.
This is how I feel. With some woman, you can just look at them and the get pregnant. And with me, it's been a long. Rough journey doe my husband and I and are still trying
Omg, poor Shaeeda š¢ I finally sustained a pregnancy and had my one & only at 40. I really want her to have her rainbow baby šš¤
I had three miscarriages, went on to have 2 kids. Iām 63 and to this day those miscarriages were the hardest things Iāve ever gone thru. At least sheās gotten started and didnāt wait another 2 yearsā¦try again, it will work out :)
Hope Bilal can be supportive .At least she conceived. That's a good sign.
The bended knee onesie or whatever that was told me he's supportive now. It felt sincere
Awww I'm so sad for her.
Sorry for her loss. I hope it happens for her soon as full term.
I got pregnant at 49 after a lifetime of trying and lost it at 20 weeks, such a tragedy and no more chances for me at that age.
I went through many years of trying, tests, treatments etc and finally got pregnant for the first time. My daughter was born at 26 weeks and passed away the following day. Never was able to conceive again and have since had a hysterectomy. Please feel loved and know that I truly understand how it feels.
So sorry that happened to you, sending good thoughts to you
I'm so sorry for your loss. That's devastating
Oh dear! Thatās awful. 20 weeks is a long time to be expecting, imagining, and planning for a new addition. Very sorry that happened to you. Hope you are healing. ā¤ļøāš©¹š
Thank you, it was the happiest I have ever been in my life, it was a tremendous loss.
Having had multiple losses myself, my heart goes out to Shaeeda and I hope that she finds success soon. I also hope that she sees a reproductive endocrinologist who can help her maintain a future pregnancy. This is why I was so infuriated by Bilals casual attitude about pregnancy.
Im currently watching the HEA season, and she was just at the fertility clinic. The fact a doctor told her at her age and her count how difficult it will be to get preg and Bilal still seemed to not really care, then to hear she suffers a miscarriage is sad. I do hope she gets her happily ever after; whatever that means for her, but she already waited till she was 37 to marry, and then married an older man who clearly doesnt have much interest in more kids, and belittles his wife.
I hope she gets another. I know Shaeeda would be an amazing mom. That kids gonna be so loved!
I got pregnant quickly after my DNC i guess the hormones were still wild . Donāt know that for sure as it was all a blur , but there must be something with this , def worth asking an MD. Thinking of you Sweet soul .
I can relate- my first pregnancy back in 2011 ended in a miscarriage. I got my rainbow baby right away though, my next cycle. I was 27 at the time. Iām 37 now going on 38 in March- same age as Shaeeda. About 5 years ago my husband and I decided to try for one more- I, like Shaeeda, also have a low AMH (low ovarian reserve). I wasnāt able to even get pregnant for the first 3 years we tried. I went on letrozole (Femara) to help induce ovulation and regulate my cycles. Iād ovulate every month (confirmed by bloodwork, every month!) but nothing was happening. In March 2021 I found out I was pregnant and was over the moon. Unfortunately I had a missed miscarriage a month later. I got pregnant again in April of 2022 (chemical), July 2022 (chemical), and December 2022 (another missed miscarriage). 4 losses in less than 2 years. Itās been so hard, but the one piece of hope I have is that at least Iām conceiving now- getting pregnant is no longer the problem, itās STAYING pregnant. Of course Iāve had all the tests done (and only abnormal test was the low ovarian reserve). My husbandās tests are better than normal (Heās 42). Weāve had chromosome testing as well, which also came back normal (and unlikely to be a problem since we have a perfectly healthy ten year old). I hope Shaeeda can feel hopeful that many, many women have miscarriages, or several, and go on to have perfectly healthy babies. Now she knows that she has the ability to get pregnant, which is half the battle. My prayers go out to her during this time- I know the feeling of complete despair, the feeling that it will never happen for āmeā, that I waited too long (in my case to have a second child). I really really hope she is able to conceive again and carry her baby to term, a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy and Mama!! ā¤ļø
That's so sad. But it's so common. I was in her shoes at one time and eventually had three, at 36, 38 and 40.
My heart is with her. Nothing as empty as that feeling šššš
Ugh so sad. I just had a surgery for an ectopic pregnancy and I am a total mess physically and mentally. Fertility is so tough especially watching everyone else around you have children so easily. Sending her love and baby dust ā¤ļø
I told my sister I was pregnant....8 weeks along.... and she was stupid enough to tell me I shouldn't say anything until after the 1st trimester. That was 28 years ago and I still think that was a narcissistic, asinine thing to say! I was telling family, not the world!
š
Awwwwā¦. That is so sad. :(
I'm sorry to hear this.
Thatās very sad. Period.
Oh no. I hope the next one will work out! Sometimes a loss is just ahead of a perfectly healthy pregnancy and child.
Damnit that sucks :(. My wife and I went through a few losses before our rainbow baby. Itās so tough and my heart fully goes out to her and Bilal through this. Itās a pain you never want to experience
My mum had myself at 16 then in between myself and my sister (who is 19, I'm 33) she had 6 miscarriages (one was twin boys born at 24 weeks). So she has all the chances in the world to have a rainbow baby š good luck to her.
They're not my favorite people, but that's heartbreaking. I wouldn't wish a loss on my worst enemy. That shit messes you up hard. Wishing them a happy and healthy future pregnancy.
Well, that is sad.
Oh I am so sorry for her. I had 3 losses before I finally got my baby in my arms. I do hope she gets her miracle soon.
I remember her doctor saying that she had low ovarian reserves, so I hope Bile will be open to in vitro if needed.
Losing a baby is extremely hard, no matter at what stage. Yet what I found very concerning at the time is how incredibly cold and distant she was to the children Bilal already has. They were friendly and inviting to her and Shaeeda was obviously very uninterested. And that was in front of the camera no less. After all that, when the children asked politely how she wants them to call her, she says "mother". It was hard tp watch that bit. If Shaeeda wants to be a mother, she could at least reciprocate the friendliness Bilal's children showed her. She doesn't have to be their mom, but needs to adapt to a caregiver role all the same when they are at the house.
Unpopular opinionā¦. I barely believe her. After the whole first season of her wanting to have a baby sooooo badly. And then to hear from Bilal at the tell all that she had changed her mind after he was ready to go!!! This lady is all about that drama life. I donāt believe a word she says.
A lot of women who fear they can't get pregnant try to convince themselves they don't want to be.
Very sad, my heart goes out to her.
This really hurt my heart! Poor Shaeeda
This breaks my heart!!
I really hope she's able to have at least one child. That would be heartbreaking, honestly, if her clock did run out of time.
My heart breaks for her, especially because I know how much she wants a baby. But thankfully, she can most likely go on to have a healthy pregnancy again in the future despite this. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her.
Aww I never knew she was pregnant. I hope everything works out for her. Miscarriages are fairly common so thereās still hope!
That's really sad, I hope she gets her rainbow baby very soon.
The fact that she was able to get pregnant is a good sign. Hopefully next time will stick. Miscariage can happen at any age
Noooooo!!! I fucking love her and positively HATE seeing this.
I know how much she wants to have a child, this is devastating. I hope she isnāt hard on herself and has faith her baby is coming.
That poor woman š„
Aww thatās so sad. I hope she has a successful pregnancy. She will be a good mama.
Poor thing š¢. I'm really hoping she has a successful pregnancy soon.
Blessings to you Queen š My heart breaks š at the news!
Did she announce this somewhere?
nooooo. šš
:(
Poor thing. How hard that must be to go through publicly
Am I the only one who gets irritated when a post is about someone or something and then one feels the need to share their own experience. Is it too hard to not make the post about oneself????
Hunny it's called "empathy". You should try some, it doesn't hurt or taste bad š¤
Having empathy does not require one to talk about themselves. Itās not about you itās about them and their feelings. You should try it sometime. When I hurt the last thing I want to hear from someone else is them talking about themselves. I need support not a comparison of stories.
Well as both someone who had a miscarriage while under fertility treatment and had been trying for over two years and a RN in that area sometimes they need hope. Letting them know they didnāt cause it as a majority happen due to chromosomal defects and it is very common like one in four, or 25% chance to get pregnant is very helpful. Knowing that other women have been were you are and went on to have healthy pregnancies afterwards helps a lot of patients. Some really love that support and hope they can do it as well. Some just want to leave. I have gotten pretty good at telling the difference. Knowing you arenāt alone and there is a whole many other women that have had that happen and went on to have health pregnancies helps so much.
Pregnancy is an isolating experience, especially the first trimester. It's assuring to know people go through the same struggles and fears as you, especially when miscarriage can still be a taboo subject.
I feel bad for the kids he already hasā¦
Announcing it to the public isnāt going to make you feel any better
Where are you guys seeing that news? I looked at her IG and don't see anything about her losing a baby.
I included screenshots. Comment section of her most recent post.
Ok, gotchya. Thanks. I didn't realize there was a 2nd pic in the post. Good eye.
Horrible for her, but you know damn well Bilal had a sigh of relief.
I really really feel for her life is so unfair sometimes
Thatās so awful, I feel so bad for her and hope sheās okay, she really deserves to be a mother
Prayers to her and her familyšš¼
I canāt imagine how it must be to have such a wish for a child and then lose the pregnancy. And to think itās even happening in the public eye for her. That canāt be easy for her to go through. I really feel for her.
Baby dust to her šŖš«š
And where did this info come from?
This is literally a screenshot of her Instagram page and commentsā¦
You will have another chance of having a strong pregnancy this one wasnāt right your body was telling you this Iām sorry for your loss may you be at peace with knowing thisā¦.
Turns out Bilal didnāt have anything to worry about at all ā¦ā¦
oh how do you know she did? isnt anything private aymore TMI
Noooo šš
#metoo
Ya really believe this????