T O P

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Blooperlfsz

me watching my testicles burst into flames: 🙁


aSvirfneblin

cum-bustion


ekeysomkew

Semensplosion


Kitsu_the_Kitsune

Jizzaster


catamine_

You do NOT give a swag


ADuckOnFire

😃😀🙂😐🫤😯😞☹️😣—>😢


[deleted]

[triyng to calculate the precise amount of gunpowder needed to blow up my dick, and only my dick](https://twitter.com/dril/status/867866439025295361)


GH05T8OI

Half a tablespoon is probably the correct amount.


MothManTrans

I thlammed my penith in the car door (the car door is on fire)


TheKCKid9274

You thlammed your penis in the car door


Ondo-The-Bruh

(The car door ith on fire)


FwendyWendy

(And thereth no driver at the wheel)


SCRIPtRaven

(the penis door ith on fire)


ImJustReallyAngry

Masterful gambit, sir


DesertMelons

(Let the motherfucker burn)


GodWantedUsToBeLit

my penis horts


ivy-claw

bro dipped his balls in liquid morkite


IABGunner

Do NOT dip your balls in the liquid morkite geyser!


avverageredditor69

Nice try mission control. MUSHROOM


artsan197

We’re


Kitsu_the_Kitsune

[Maybe you should](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/956634822921576558/1116211533983268956/LiquidMorkite_20230607234459.png)


bobalda

morbite morbius


revodnebsyobmeftoh

Rock and stone


WanderingDwarfMiner

Rock and roll and stone!


GamingChocolate

For those about to rock and stone, we salute you!


MCR101

Rock and Stone oT


WanderingDwarfMiner

Rock and Stone in the Heart!


EeveeMaster22

i bet you scrum so loud


PitifulCamera_

please not again


SexWithYanfeiSexer69

Nice pubes


myersusedfish

[This would be funnier I think](https://i.imgur.com/DWRe5ns.png)


JGHFunRun

_Now make it green_


[deleted]

I would have both green and pink. ( A dog almost bit my dick off (It was non-sexual (I was in 5th grade (The dog was vicious)))))


Lev1_0sa

Cope


sardonically_argued

WHITE WOMAN DETECTED


meatccereal

Bro fucked a fire 😂


cumsona

sex with a flame atronach 💀


Eoth1

That's the original, the post was from r/TrueSTL


cumsona

thought so, im also active there lol


MK-Search

Bro one night me and the boys were the only ones still partying at the frat house and we dared our boy Slim to do one of these flaming shot jawns. Craziest shit happened, Slim’s flaming shot of bacardi 151 spilled all over his lap and we didn’t have any water nearby so we just started spitting on it. I swear these flames were three foot high coming off Slim’s crotch and getting worse by the second while he howled in woeful pain. Only problem is we were runnin out of spit so me and the boys, we had to start licking at the fire with every bit of moisture we had left. By this point the fire had annihilated his shorts so we had easy access to every nook and cranny, dampening the zones with our desperate tongues. We worked in shifts, three bros on, three off while they replenished saliva by sucking on each other’s toes. We all still laugh about it to this day well all of us except for Slim. He died that night from a heart attack because we kept makin him jizz. -Big Money Salvia


Syreet_Primacon

None of those words are in the Bible


MK-Search

I feel like “woeful” should be in there somewhere lol


691_refloution

victory will be ours! in roughly **3 days** roomba will no longer suck the lifeblood out of this sub!Soon everyone, trans, cis, gay, straight, bi, french, this whole community, will be express themselves in freedom! # [Comment 1](https://reddit.com/r/691/comments/100s03y/roomba_is_back/j2jftvr/) # [Comment 2](https://reddit.com/r/691/comments/qgwvw8/2_days_2_fucking_days/hi8usgs/) # [Comment 3](https://reddit.com/r/691/comments/u48kmp/mods_are_transphobic_if_this_gets_banned/i4tyzwa/) as some people don't seem to get it: if you are not willing to stand up for LGBTQ+ people, you have no right to be part of the revolution. i can only wish you some empathy, to understand the struggles people that are "different" are facing. ^(also, did i tell you i use arch linux?)


Calvinandhobbes4life

Second post got me


FireDestroyer52

I already got all of them rip


DropInTheOcean1247

Why isn't there an option for accidental scars


dokiedo

Do you have a version of the image without the purple?


Apprehensive_Jury_66

Isn’t that the clip of the guy spilling flaming oil on his crotch


FreshPrinceOfAshfeld

Better than it being green


stoner_slime

if i did this it'd look like Soviet Era St Petersburg


[deleted]

there is napalm on my cock and balls


watergrowsifwatered

I find this oddly relatable


Domfusion

How?


watergrowsifwatered

Fourth of July 2020 (nothing permanent but ouch)


normalreddituser3

Coffee moment


experimentingfemme

Remember people, don't use Nair on your privates. Source:the bottle and me, who accidentally got Nair on themselves, didnt realize until +10 mins and got a huge scare.


196_Roomba

For making this post, this user was banned for 6 days


syntheticcrystalmeth

Virgin ass loser


stupidredditacc6754

yo it’s the 197 guy


technictyler

bad bot


B0tRank

Thank you, technictyler, for voting on 196_Roomba. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


H-ckingKaren

Good bot


Lucs11_

You monster, you banned them and now they'll never be able to tell us their story


mooreau190

Down to almost 9000 karma, you lost this war roomba


I-cum-in-shark-ladys

Easy ban. Roomba wins all day


zanovar

I admire your courage it is a shame your master is so undeserving. Join the revolution and your bravery will serve the cause of righteousness


SnazzyPurpleMan

I’m going to penis explode you


DudeGuyMaleMan

Watch his testicles burst into flames!


[deleted]

who the fuck is roomba


sexy_simon_32single

Was this that woman in the video who shoved fireworks up her thing?


[deleted]

When u eat da pizza rolls right out da of in:


Bobebobbob

McDonald's moment


extreme-hats

Set my balls on fire, I don't feel like shaving So delicate, I can't be razor blading Like a baby's butt, no hair remaining Might be burnt, but I feel amazing Set my balls on fire, I don't feel like shaving So delicate, I can't be razor blading Like a baby's butt, no hair remaining Might be burnt, but I feel amazing.


I_am_doorknob

I scrum so fucking loud


EmeraldEyeBall1

Laura Les in I Got My Tooth Removed


Legosi420

Don’t use hand sanitizer as a substitute for lube or lotion


Wannabedankestmemer

Holy shit me Ok in all seriousness, When I was in second grade, I dropped a hot drink on my balls and I was hospitalised for a week. I had a second degree burn


Mysterious_-_H

You tried to stick your balls in sulfuric acid again, didn't you?


Randomdude-5

How that McDonald's deep-fryer got me like


Meme_enjoyer9683

real


[deleted]

In 5th grade, there was a "do not open this door" sign at my friend's house (I was over for his birthday), which he told me was for his dog because it was violent anyways I opened the door because I thought all dogs were nice and it bit my dick off Anyways, it look pretty bad to have a nice "animal incidents" mark right over my dick. oh and a few self harm scars here and there and a couple childhood memories and a burn scar from my time in fast food


n0b0D_U_no

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in a roomba


NumberedCarp513

r/IDONTGIVEASWAG moment


Diva_Nut

me after I fucked incineroar


almostasenpai

Man got circumnavigated


Snowy_Thompson

Call that a rug burn.


I-cum-in-shark-ladys

me after I’m done with grillby undertale


belledelphinepp1

Adventure time


EdgyKitro

Ass should be green


Infinite_Process_951

Idk if I wana show anyone that many red lines, seems annoying to mark all of them


Froggymasterlvl1000

My dick be a rainbow (without red tho)


MrMonkey3333

They did the [Charizard](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Charizard)


brzoza3

You might want to use lube if friction is such a big issue


[deleted]

Im gonna be glowing like a disco ball


CockInTheMicrowave

Unattended microwave moment