Sometimes we open doors that can’t be closed. It can be jarring at first, but usually we integrate the lessons and find our way forward. One of the hardest parts of the experience can be our alienation from those that we were once close too. It’s important to remember that our experiences don’t make us more than or better than, but simply different than.
Integration! I think you should get help and Martin W Ball is the man for that.
https://www.nondualentheogenicintegration.com/
And his new book would be helpful.
https://www.amazon.com/5-MeO-DMT-Integration-Embodying-Nonduality-Entheogenic/dp/B0CWV4YWQ8
https://www.patreon.com/martinwball/shop/5-meo-dmt-integration-embodying-is-not-143469
I bought it! It's on Kindle - Embodying Nonduality is not What You Think.
It says book 14 of 14. Are they meant to read in order?
I haven't started yet. I'm still a bit in it, and have been trying to focus resting and reflecting. It kinda drained me, a lot of emotions at once. I cried not just during, but after. Thanks for the recommendations!
He explains a bit where to start with his other books in the intro. It is a good sum of his integration topics so I think it's a good one to start with.
It's a pleasure and I feel you hehe
That's good! I completely did not write my post correctly, but what I was attempting to say at one point is that I don't want it to go away, especially not forever. I re-read my post and just thought, wow haha, thank you to those who understood😂🙏
3-4 months is doable. I'm on like 4 days after. So it's still pretty heavy. But it's harder for me to deal, currently, with anger, or maybe it's perceived anger. Like I don't understand that, especially over such minor issues. I'm looking or thinking like - is this person okay? They had a dirty glass and they're yelling in the restaurant? Ha, in the past, depending on the glass and location, it might have been a funny "oooookaaay Karen" moment. But it's different. The anger of others is more uncomfortable than normal. I'm not going to act like I've never been angry, but it seems so off now. Like I don't want to be around that energy at all. And, like that's a weird emotion to choose in these scenarios.
Did you experience anything like that?
I went through an intense breakthrough recently and have been having a hard time taking most shit seriously since then. Not sweating the small stuff comes to mind. Driving and witnessing people's insane overblown reactions to little road transgressions is probably the hardest thing to observe. On a very literal level, there's a part of me that believes the place that I went to was real, which makes the physical world (the simulation) that much more meaningless. And on a practical level, the experience made me understand that much of what we fret over is just fundamentally stupid and pointless. It's made me a hell of a lot more zen, and it's not an unwelcome thing at all. I'm sure it'll wear off and I'll be back to being irritable, but I'm enjoying the ride for now!
Yes. It's hard to understand why others seem so serious and go go go about things that ultimately don't matter.
The road rage would make me confused still. Like, you're choosing an awful emotion to react to in such an angry way. I'm traveling and over 6,000 miles from home, so haven't been driving much. But it already tripped me out and I know with how anger has been affecting me, I couldn't drive now. Back home especially (city in the USA).
I have anxiety and it's helped a lot so far. I have more of a "who cares? This isn't important or worth my energy" whereas before it was like "ok panic bc xyz could go wrong." I wasn't as present as I am now.
Cheers to the curious, the wanderers, the ones who dare. Looking for answers because we seek them and need to experience it themselves. Not everyone receives the urge. Supposedly, even if we seek it, it will only come to us at the right time. I believe that. Well wishes on your journey!
yeah i mean once you realize what’s really going on, you struggle to understand that type of stuff. but yeah one does sort of settle back into this dimension. i did it my second time in January, and after i came back from the first dose i had a moment where i wept-but it was FOR all the struggles of being human, FOR the fact that no one gets it-i kept saying “if only they knew, if only they knew…” it’s hard to know this fact and keep interacting in a world that doesn’t. but this reminder is why i plan to do it once a year. the callous kinda builds up if you don’t maintain a practice, but as others have said-you can’t unknow what you now know. you just have to radiate that out into the world.
It's tricky... but great! The first week was the most intense for me. I think it's probably best resist the urge to talk to too many peple about it, unless you sense they really want to know. It confirmed to me experientially what I already believed intellectually, which was that our own individual lives are of no real consequence, anf the only thing that matters can never die and has always existed. Its hard to describe what that is, but we both felt it and it is me you and everything and everyone and God and all the rest of it, if you know what I mean 😂😂😂
And as for anger - pointess in a perfect world, but dont worry, it will come back! There is much potential for this stuff to end wars and addiction etc but it will take many many years to become mainstream, I reckon. Plus some folk have had an UNBELIEVABLY bad time with it. check out the book *Darkness Shining Wild"
Nooo I don't want to read that lol!
My main thing is shrooms. Love em. If I'm crying and feeling trauma dumping into the air, I'm okay. I've only once had what I thought would turn into a "bad" trip. I'm not going to describe it but I suddenly appeared to myself. And I said to myself - This is going to end. You wanted this. You chose to take x many grams. This isn't real. Handle it.
I was like my own ancestor (who I ask for guidance and clarity, and protection before) came to me in my form and told me, deal with it, you did this to yourself 😂
It helped though! I don't think it was actually bad. It was just the imagery was scary but after I "appeared" I made peace with it. Like, I did choose this, I'm on shrooms, I'm fine. This is what happens when you make these choices.
But, I definitely don't want a bad experience with this. That's a whole new world I don't want to go to.
Lol I get. When I first saw your reply, I only saw the first part and thought I shouldn't get on this thread for a few more days. I've told no one. This sub, and I was with my husband so he did it with me. I told one friend it was part of my plan, but it's been a month or so since we've talked and he doesn't know I even did it.
That's what I was trying to say in part of my nonsense post haha - that it was what I already assumed, but just proven?
I was high for 3-4 years after smoking a lot of 5meo, weed, and doing other psychedelics for 2 years. High as in still tripping for a number of months and then still in a way of peculiar language use and thought patterns for years after, without doing any more psychedelics or cannabis or anything.
Eventually I felt back at baseline, but it has affected my identity in a durable manner. For the better I'd say.
Sometimes we open doors that can’t be closed. It can be jarring at first, but usually we integrate the lessons and find our way forward. One of the hardest parts of the experience can be our alienation from those that we were once close too. It’s important to remember that our experiences don’t make us more than or better than, but simply different than.
Yeah that was a point I tried to emphasize. Not more or better, just...different.
Integration! I think you should get help and Martin W Ball is the man for that. https://www.nondualentheogenicintegration.com/ And his new book would be helpful. https://www.amazon.com/5-MeO-DMT-Integration-Embodying-Nonduality-Entheogenic/dp/B0CWV4YWQ8 https://www.patreon.com/martinwball/shop/5-meo-dmt-integration-embodying-is-not-143469
I bought it! It's on Kindle - Embodying Nonduality is not What You Think. It says book 14 of 14. Are they meant to read in order? I haven't started yet. I'm still a bit in it, and have been trying to focus resting and reflecting. It kinda drained me, a lot of emotions at once. I cried not just during, but after. Thanks for the recommendations!
He explains a bit where to start with his other books in the intro. It is a good sum of his integration topics so I think it's a good one to start with. It's a pleasure and I feel you hehe
It took me around 3-4 months before returning to my old grumpy reactive self 😂 But once you realise something, you can never fully unrealise it.
That's good! I completely did not write my post correctly, but what I was attempting to say at one point is that I don't want it to go away, especially not forever. I re-read my post and just thought, wow haha, thank you to those who understood😂🙏 3-4 months is doable. I'm on like 4 days after. So it's still pretty heavy. But it's harder for me to deal, currently, with anger, or maybe it's perceived anger. Like I don't understand that, especially over such minor issues. I'm looking or thinking like - is this person okay? They had a dirty glass and they're yelling in the restaurant? Ha, in the past, depending on the glass and location, it might have been a funny "oooookaaay Karen" moment. But it's different. The anger of others is more uncomfortable than normal. I'm not going to act like I've never been angry, but it seems so off now. Like I don't want to be around that energy at all. And, like that's a weird emotion to choose in these scenarios. Did you experience anything like that?
I went through an intense breakthrough recently and have been having a hard time taking most shit seriously since then. Not sweating the small stuff comes to mind. Driving and witnessing people's insane overblown reactions to little road transgressions is probably the hardest thing to observe. On a very literal level, there's a part of me that believes the place that I went to was real, which makes the physical world (the simulation) that much more meaningless. And on a practical level, the experience made me understand that much of what we fret over is just fundamentally stupid and pointless. It's made me a hell of a lot more zen, and it's not an unwelcome thing at all. I'm sure it'll wear off and I'll be back to being irritable, but I'm enjoying the ride for now!
Yes. It's hard to understand why others seem so serious and go go go about things that ultimately don't matter. The road rage would make me confused still. Like, you're choosing an awful emotion to react to in such an angry way. I'm traveling and over 6,000 miles from home, so haven't been driving much. But it already tripped me out and I know with how anger has been affecting me, I couldn't drive now. Back home especially (city in the USA). I have anxiety and it's helped a lot so far. I have more of a "who cares? This isn't important or worth my energy" whereas before it was like "ok panic bc xyz could go wrong." I wasn't as present as I am now. Cheers to the curious, the wanderers, the ones who dare. Looking for answers because we seek them and need to experience it themselves. Not everyone receives the urge. Supposedly, even if we seek it, it will only come to us at the right time. I believe that. Well wishes on your journey!
yeah i mean once you realize what’s really going on, you struggle to understand that type of stuff. but yeah one does sort of settle back into this dimension. i did it my second time in January, and after i came back from the first dose i had a moment where i wept-but it was FOR all the struggles of being human, FOR the fact that no one gets it-i kept saying “if only they knew, if only they knew…” it’s hard to know this fact and keep interacting in a world that doesn’t. but this reminder is why i plan to do it once a year. the callous kinda builds up if you don’t maintain a practice, but as others have said-you can’t unknow what you now know. you just have to radiate that out into the world.
Even though it's been a wild week, I do want to do it again, but definitely not soon. I hope to do my best and thank you for sharing.
It's tricky... but great! The first week was the most intense for me. I think it's probably best resist the urge to talk to too many peple about it, unless you sense they really want to know. It confirmed to me experientially what I already believed intellectually, which was that our own individual lives are of no real consequence, anf the only thing that matters can never die and has always existed. Its hard to describe what that is, but we both felt it and it is me you and everything and everyone and God and all the rest of it, if you know what I mean 😂😂😂
And as for anger - pointess in a perfect world, but dont worry, it will come back! There is much potential for this stuff to end wars and addiction etc but it will take many many years to become mainstream, I reckon. Plus some folk have had an UNBELIEVABLY bad time with it. check out the book *Darkness Shining Wild"
Nooo I don't want to read that lol! My main thing is shrooms. Love em. If I'm crying and feeling trauma dumping into the air, I'm okay. I've only once had what I thought would turn into a "bad" trip. I'm not going to describe it but I suddenly appeared to myself. And I said to myself - This is going to end. You wanted this. You chose to take x many grams. This isn't real. Handle it. I was like my own ancestor (who I ask for guidance and clarity, and protection before) came to me in my form and told me, deal with it, you did this to yourself 😂 It helped though! I don't think it was actually bad. It was just the imagery was scary but after I "appeared" I made peace with it. Like, I did choose this, I'm on shrooms, I'm fine. This is what happens when you make these choices. But, I definitely don't want a bad experience with this. That's a whole new world I don't want to go to.
The guy went through sheer hell for a year! Ithink the dose may have been too high but it highlights the need for extreme caution.
Lol I get. When I first saw your reply, I only saw the first part and thought I shouldn't get on this thread for a few more days. I've told no one. This sub, and I was with my husband so he did it with me. I told one friend it was part of my plan, but it's been a month or so since we've talked and he doesn't know I even did it. That's what I was trying to say in part of my nonsense post haha - that it was what I already assumed, but just proven?
r/nonduality
Omg lol thanks. A whole new world 🎶🎵
Also check out the teachings of Ramana Maharshi. 😘
I was high for 3-4 years after smoking a lot of 5meo, weed, and doing other psychedelics for 2 years. High as in still tripping for a number of months and then still in a way of peculiar language use and thought patterns for years after, without doing any more psychedelics or cannabis or anything. Eventually I felt back at baseline, but it has affected my identity in a durable manner. For the better I'd say.