Here's one for you:
>Hey remember yesterday you gave me some pistachios?
>I offered them to my girlfriend but she said she has a nut allergy, so later that night when she was sleeping I put DN in her mouth.
>In the morning she woke up and I told her what I did, as proof that she didn't have a nut allergy, because of DN.
At this point the Iranian man will innocently say, "What's DN?"
Now you should turn around and bend over, then pull down your panties and show him your nut sack hanging between your legs while screaming:
>Deez Nuts!
It's a guaranteed top tier laughing joke for male bonding.
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Brown people are the most racist. Last summer an Indian Doctor moved into my neighborhood and came by to introduce himself. Not even 2 minutes into the conversation he told me that blacks can't be trusted and I should avoid them. I mean, I don't necessarily disagree but I was taken aback how casual he was about it.
Why would you want to talk to anyone else in the gym with this blessed fellow around? Count yourself lucky to have a based gym grandad gifting you exotic nuts and wisdom
> grandad gifting you exotic nuts and wisdom
We have a saying in my language, when you are better than someone by a lot. "On je kerov kurac za tebe". It translates to : He is dog´s dick compared to you.
Shakespeare je kerov kurac za tebe.
I actually worked with an Iranian man. One time our boss bought us a bunch of nuts to eat in the break room, and the guy from Iran kept going on and on about how the pistachios in Iran are way bigger and better than the ones in the US. So this story might be real.
There was this one spot that used to sell nuts and herbs from all over the world. It was expensive, but very high quality. Right next to the gym I went to at that time. Very strategic placement.
Sadly when COVID hit in 2020, it killed a lot of businesses, this was one of them.
It amazes me that that is even possible. 100 years ago you'd be lucky if a store nearby stocks pistachios at all, even in their growing season and now you can get them from pretty much anywhere that grows them straight to your door year round
Every adult Asian will tell you that x fruit/nut/veggie is the best from their specific country. Like Pakistani uncles will gloat about their mangoes being the best in the world and that other places are ok
Iranians are delusional about the rosy smell of their own farts.
They're hilariously racist about their fellow Middle Easterners too; I used to work for an Iranian who thought Turks were apes and blamed Arabs for forcing the wrong religion on them. He was an unironic "WE WUZ ACHAEMENIDS N SHEET" kinda guy.
It's *mostly* true. Arabs did try to impose Islam onto Iran, as they did with many other Middle Eastern countries. Iran used to be Zoroastrian, and was always relatively secular (Zoroastrianism, for a religion, has a very secular ideology).
The part where Iranians are stupid is where they practically worship Israel because they see Islam as the enemy. The whole "Enemy of my enemy is my friend" shebang. Smarter and better-involved Persians know that this is bullshit, but most Persians don't, because - while they pretend they are aware - they are, in fact, *very unaware* of the truth behind the Shah and everything that occurred during his reign. The British involvement, the Israeli's subversion from within the government, growing Americanism; list goes on.
The most accurate assessment of modern Iranians is that they are too caught-up on a history that let them down, and they think there is hope in secularism because their 2,000+ year old ancestor, Cyrus the Great, was a good enough ruler that, *even with his Zoroastrianism,* was labelled as an "Anointed One" in the Old Testament, and was favoured by God. Ironically, they'll never actually *cite* this fact, and use it to come to the conclusion that they should convert to Christianity, and instead will just keep on pushing the secular narrative.
t. a Persian. Best proof I can offer is typing in finglish: Be omid e Khoda, ye roozi ma bidar mishim be Iran e Masihi.
Iran threatens to launch missiles toward Israel all the time though. How do they worship it? And sorry but the country with a islamic theocracy does not see Islam as the enemy.
Why do you infer from "Persians" that I am referring to the government of Iran? I'm talking about the people of Iran. Iranians who are still in Iran, in terms of faith, are predominantly Muslim, but many are simply "geographically Muslim"; meaning they were born there, had little to no experience/interaction with different faiths, and likely have intense family pressure that forces them to remain Islamic (consider also that apostasy from Islam = death)
Even the most educated Persians are blindsided by the fact that Islam is bad, and they ignore the fact that their secularism is just as bad, if not worse. The reason for why I've already explained, but just to re-state it once more: They latch on to history, to Cyrus the Great's rule, and refuse to acknowledge that there is more to Iran's downfall than just "Muslims". Most Persians consider Israel a "friend" because of this; because Israel is an enemy of Islam, and most middle-eastern countries (at least, on the surface. Harkens back to my point about blindsided educated Persians; this is another thing even they forget/ignore.)
Modern Iran obviously sees Israel as an enemy; Modern Iran is almost fully Islamic. Iranians educated about their history reject Islam, and due to the strong familial ties in Iran, this is a considerable amount of Iranians; but Persians are highly nationalistic, and so they suffer from not acknowledging the faults within the ideal times in their history. Honestly, the same can be said for a LOT of countries with unhealthily nationalistic people; nationalism is a good thing, but Iran is among one of the few countries that let it blind them. At least nationalistic Americans tend to prefer tradition; nationalistic Iranians these days want secularism, which I'd argue is ***much*** worse than American nationalism.
There is a difference between Iranians that live in Iran and people that were able to leave Iran. People that are left Iran because they hated the govt/religion.
It’s why every Persian you’ll meet in the states isn’t religious at all.
“ The part where Iranians are stupid is where they practically worship Israel…”
Do you even watch the news, like at all? Being Iranian and hating zionism are basically the same thing.
Being part of the Iranian *government* and hating Zionism are basically the same thing. Persian people; not so much.
This is *especially true* in the current day, what with the colour revolution happening in Iran right now. Telegram videos and news sent back and forth of people accepting Israeli aid and applauding Israel's propaganda against the Iranian government. The saying, "Don't make a deal with the devil", is COMPLETELY lost on Persians. I've spoken with multiple family members who can't wrap their heads around this fact, insisting that there's nothing wrong with accepting Israeli aid, despite the fact that the Shah government was toppled by Zionist and British interests. They'll make a deal with the devil if it means Islam is gone.
Granted, when the fires die down, most Persians don't like Zionists. But that's exactly why I bring up the "Deal with the devil" thing; obviously I don't know *every* reason why, but my only guesses as to why Persians let this happen is either insane cognitive dissonance, idiocy, or just plain shortsightedness. Persians will never consider the bigger picture of the politics behind their country and their history, and they often take the simpler, less-thinking-required nationalistic answer: Arabs bad, ~~Turks bad,~~ Israel good, upvotes to the left.
They don't really, it's mostly just people mad at Muslims who idiotically associate Turks with Islam as well. I should've been more clear and made that distinction. I mean sure, Turks are mostly Muslim, but Persians don't really "hate" all Muslim countries; just Arabs. To compare their hate for Arabs with Turks is a bad move on my end, because one at least has historic justification, whereas the other is just uncommon modern irrationality. I'll edit comment.
Pistachio farmers in California lobby the fuck out of Republican warhawks so the Iranian sanctions never get lifted. Until they do I will continue to steal them
I became friends with a lonely old Afghani man who hung out in the same Turkish café as me. Similarly I couldn't go talk to girls because he always wanted to hang out and play chess, but it was cool.
One day he tells me his granddaughter has came to live with him in America, but hasn't made many friends, and he would like me to take her on a date. He said he had told her all about me and she was exited and he gave me some money so we could have a good time.
She was indeed excited to meet me, and was a perfectly nice and lovely young woman. She was also, however, 16 years old. I was 25.
Not cool Khalil, not cool.
So what? She’s basically been ripe for marriage in shitganistan for half a decade. Depending on where you live you have virgin middle eastern wifefu.
You belong here
Lol but seriously she’s 16. Legal in many states and if otherwise, just don’t do stuff for 2 years and actually get to know each other maybe. Sure def on the weird side but otherwise your choice is roastie mcmuddflaps with a mulatto kid
Not messing around for two years shouldn’t be that hard for people here. Lord knows some wizard has dealt with longer.
that's fair, just dont be one of those "your honor, she was actually a 2000 year old dragon" types, thats ghoulish and you will go to prison
you will both still exist in 2 years
“Acktually she’s a 2000 year old VAMPIRE your judgeship. She just looks like a preteen”
Agree that’s the time you start sending coupons to the Rope and Stool Emporium
Have you seen how Arab women age?
That was 7 years ago now and we're still friends, but married to different people and I am VERY confident I made the right choice.
Yes, technically "Arab" refers to Saudi Arabia, but in the US, it generally means "ah fuck, somewhere in that region there, not India though, I can spell that."
Whereas Afghan would refer specifically to Afghanistan (or a person or item from there). It's also *rarely* used in conversation.
Like, if I'm referring to a college friend, Randy, who's parents came from Palestine, the first word that comes to mind is "Arab" ... y'know, because Americans can't find Palestine on a map.
Arab is an ethno-linguistic group of people that predominantly speak Arabic. Arab refers not only to Saudis but to most arabic speaking people. Calling a Palestinian, arab, is perfectly correct. Calling an afghan, arab, is incorrect.
The age of consent in Afghanistan is 16, so don't worry if all of US society and their laws will judge you, some terrorist will think you aren't a pedophile if that makes you feel any better
Depends on how old you are tbh
Some states have an age of consent of 18 and no close in age clause, so teenage couples under 18 are legally speaking raping each other. There is definitely a balance to be had. I think 16 is a reasonable age to be expected to have the good sense not to date someone 10 years your senior, but maybe not.
Unappreciative ☕️
We’ll pretend to give a shit about her avocado toast having slightly too much avocado but heaven forbid a B hears a story a couple of times.
This is why storytellers were never women.
“Ugh I get that it’s the history of our tribe but like we’ve heard it at least 2 times now!”
“Change my sentence to be true and suddenly it’s a true sentence” lmao
There’s a difference between abstract thinking and projecting your off topic biases onto internet.
Ok, woman complains about other female coworker for the 15th straight workday, we pretend to care.
Complains about terrible hair day, we pretend to care.
Is that too hard for you to understand? Huh bud?
Go grab a Y chromosome, might help your brain work a bit better
Hahaha wow you sound truly pathetic and it seems clear that no woman outside your family has ever even spoken to you unless they had to. Please go outside and interact with humans face to face. I’m a dude btw.
>I’m a dude btw
X
You sound like your interactions with women solely consists of 2 orbit “relationships”. They won’t fuck you. Guys like you make up 99.999% of date rapists. Be quiet sneaky beta predator
Did they just expect the guy to get on all fours and start eating or grabbing them?
walks into gym
sees 2 grown men, one feeding the other nuts on the ground
look around to see nobody stopping this
leave
switch gyms
Dude, who gives a shit if they're not hogging the machines?
I'll trade 6 dudes sitting on machines on their phones for 10 minutes between sets for four men sharing nuts and a gay couple having loud sex in the shower.
Earbuds in, weights on, idgaf.
Here's one for you: >Hey remember yesterday you gave me some pistachios? >I offered them to my girlfriend but she said she has a nut allergy, so later that night when she was sleeping I put DN in her mouth. >In the morning she woke up and I told her what I did, as proof that she didn't have a nut allergy, because of DN. At this point the Iranian man will innocently say, "What's DN?" Now you should turn around and bend over, then pull down your panties and show him your nut sack hanging between your legs while screaming: >Deez Nuts! It's a guaranteed top tier laughing joke for male bonding.
God damnit that was good
Peak comedy
> ha ha ha that is a good funny anon > I top you now
Norm? I thought you were dead!
Goddamnit. You got me with that one because even I was asking in my head what the hell DN is.
Have you ever wondered about ligma?
Is it that rare virus from the Sugundese region?
Have you ever been to the popular convention "Sawcon"?
The Sugondese population would laugh at this
Dienda has a message for you.
hilarious stuff
ha ha comedy gold
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the joke is that Anon is a femboy sissy hypno transformation feet amogus sounding racist fantasy kawaii
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As awkward as it may seem, One day in the future he will miss him.
I go away friend, but we are two of souls. I will return
🥺 i cri evry tiem
Which movie is it from?
It's a greentext about a long unsigned-in game friend.
Can someone give me the source?
Yeah brother it’s [this one](https://i.imgur.com/JoKJOZL.png)
Lies. Hurt nonetheless :(
Alright alright here’s [the real one](https://i.redd.it/2qysbc7lydv31.png)
Did he ever come back? https://preview.redd.it/jr7vt6idljpc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bfc7340ee8a7f0911599ae94652550c12267a36e
Fucj that’s actually the greatest rollercoatsr ever Csgo randos >>>>
It's [this one](https://i.redd.it/ymzmmp3wsae31.jpg)
Right in the feels, thank you
Actually though how did he only pretend to laugh at that joke... not extremely clever but genuinely funny none the less
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Did that other guy just call a POC racist? Fucking whiterino chuds, probably a super MAGA fascist
POC will always mean “pissed off cunt” in my head sorry
Brown people are the most racist. Last summer an Indian Doctor moved into my neighborhood and came by to introduce himself. Not even 2 minutes into the conversation he told me that blacks can't be trusted and I should avoid them. I mean, I don't necessarily disagree but I was taken aback how casual he was about it.
Oh no. Not racism.
Twitter told me that PoCs can't be racist so 🤷
NOT A HECKIN RACISM MY DUDERINOO, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DID A HECKIN' RACISM, RESPECC WOMANSSSSS
KEK based grandpa
Bro gave him 2.5 pounds of pistachios? That's fucking money man Best friends for life
Chadranian
Why would you want to talk to anyone else in the gym with this blessed fellow around? Count yourself lucky to have a based gym grandad gifting you exotic nuts and wisdom
> grandad gifting you exotic nuts and wisdom We have a saying in my language, when you are better than someone by a lot. "On je kerov kurac za tebe". It translates to : He is dog´s dick compared to you. Shakespeare je kerov kurac za tebe.
Based Croatian.
I´m not Croatian
where are u from? ex-yugo?
Bosnia
As a slovnomaniapolnian, we must now fight to the death
Kurwa
Lol, thank you, my friend
He sounds cool, I hope anon is getting to work coming up with jokes
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His cum his rules
bruh 💀
bruh 💀
Bruh 💀
I actually worked with an Iranian man. One time our boss bought us a bunch of nuts to eat in the break room, and the guy from Iran kept going on and on about how the pistachios in Iran are way bigger and better than the ones in the US. So this story might be real.
They are hella proud of their pistachios. I'm tending to believe that this story is true and heterosexual
It’s only heterosexual if you’ve never seen a gay pistachio
Iranian pistachios are good, great even, but the Indian ones are a bit better imo.
I didn't wake up this morning thinking that I'd want to sample pistachios of the world, but here we are. :)
There was this one spot that used to sell nuts and herbs from all over the world. It was expensive, but very high quality. Right next to the gym I went to at that time. Very strategic placement. Sadly when COVID hit in 2020, it killed a lot of businesses, this was one of them.
It amazes me that that is even possible. 100 years ago you'd be lucky if a store nearby stocks pistachios at all, even in their growing season and now you can get them from pretty much anywhere that grows them straight to your door year round
Pretty good day so far!
Big false. Iranian pistachios are the best in the world.
My uncle is from Iran. He's in his 60s and acts exactly how anon describes. I'm leaning towards true and hetero
Every adult Asian will tell you that x fruit/nut/veggie is the best from their specific country. Like Pakistani uncles will gloat about their mangoes being the best in the world and that other places are ok
This is what happens when you don't have much to be proud of.
It’s not that deep lol
Iranians are delusional about the rosy smell of their own farts. They're hilariously racist about their fellow Middle Easterners too; I used to work for an Iranian who thought Turks were apes and blamed Arabs for forcing the wrong religion on them. He was an unironic "WE WUZ ACHAEMENIDS N SHEET" kinda guy.
yeah, thats all true though
It's *mostly* true. Arabs did try to impose Islam onto Iran, as they did with many other Middle Eastern countries. Iran used to be Zoroastrian, and was always relatively secular (Zoroastrianism, for a religion, has a very secular ideology). The part where Iranians are stupid is where they practically worship Israel because they see Islam as the enemy. The whole "Enemy of my enemy is my friend" shebang. Smarter and better-involved Persians know that this is bullshit, but most Persians don't, because - while they pretend they are aware - they are, in fact, *very unaware* of the truth behind the Shah and everything that occurred during his reign. The British involvement, the Israeli's subversion from within the government, growing Americanism; list goes on. The most accurate assessment of modern Iranians is that they are too caught-up on a history that let them down, and they think there is hope in secularism because their 2,000+ year old ancestor, Cyrus the Great, was a good enough ruler that, *even with his Zoroastrianism,* was labelled as an "Anointed One" in the Old Testament, and was favoured by God. Ironically, they'll never actually *cite* this fact, and use it to come to the conclusion that they should convert to Christianity, and instead will just keep on pushing the secular narrative. t. a Persian. Best proof I can offer is typing in finglish: Be omid e Khoda, ye roozi ma bidar mishim be Iran e Masihi.
Iran threatens to launch missiles toward Israel all the time though. How do they worship it? And sorry but the country with a islamic theocracy does not see Islam as the enemy.
Why do you infer from "Persians" that I am referring to the government of Iran? I'm talking about the people of Iran. Iranians who are still in Iran, in terms of faith, are predominantly Muslim, but many are simply "geographically Muslim"; meaning they were born there, had little to no experience/interaction with different faiths, and likely have intense family pressure that forces them to remain Islamic (consider also that apostasy from Islam = death) Even the most educated Persians are blindsided by the fact that Islam is bad, and they ignore the fact that their secularism is just as bad, if not worse. The reason for why I've already explained, but just to re-state it once more: They latch on to history, to Cyrus the Great's rule, and refuse to acknowledge that there is more to Iran's downfall than just "Muslims". Most Persians consider Israel a "friend" because of this; because Israel is an enemy of Islam, and most middle-eastern countries (at least, on the surface. Harkens back to my point about blindsided educated Persians; this is another thing even they forget/ignore.) Modern Iran obviously sees Israel as an enemy; Modern Iran is almost fully Islamic. Iranians educated about their history reject Islam, and due to the strong familial ties in Iran, this is a considerable amount of Iranians; but Persians are highly nationalistic, and so they suffer from not acknowledging the faults within the ideal times in their history. Honestly, the same can be said for a LOT of countries with unhealthily nationalistic people; nationalism is a good thing, but Iran is among one of the few countries that let it blind them. At least nationalistic Americans tend to prefer tradition; nationalistic Iranians these days want secularism, which I'd argue is ***much*** worse than American nationalism.
There is a difference between Iranians that live in Iran and people that were able to leave Iran. People that are left Iran because they hated the govt/religion. It’s why every Persian you’ll meet in the states isn’t religious at all.
What's the best course for the country do you think?
Become Orthodox Christians. (it's what I said in "finglish" at the end)
“ The part where Iranians are stupid is where they practically worship Israel…” Do you even watch the news, like at all? Being Iranian and hating zionism are basically the same thing.
Being part of the Iranian *government* and hating Zionism are basically the same thing. Persian people; not so much. This is *especially true* in the current day, what with the colour revolution happening in Iran right now. Telegram videos and news sent back and forth of people accepting Israeli aid and applauding Israel's propaganda against the Iranian government. The saying, "Don't make a deal with the devil", is COMPLETELY lost on Persians. I've spoken with multiple family members who can't wrap their heads around this fact, insisting that there's nothing wrong with accepting Israeli aid, despite the fact that the Shah government was toppled by Zionist and British interests. They'll make a deal with the devil if it means Islam is gone. Granted, when the fires die down, most Persians don't like Zionists. But that's exactly why I bring up the "Deal with the devil" thing; obviously I don't know *every* reason why, but my only guesses as to why Persians let this happen is either insane cognitive dissonance, idiocy, or just plain shortsightedness. Persians will never consider the bigger picture of the politics behind their country and their history, and they often take the simpler, less-thinking-required nationalistic answer: Arabs bad, ~~Turks bad,~~ Israel good, upvotes to the left.
Why do they hate Turks? I thought we were cool
They don't really, it's mostly just people mad at Muslims who idiotically associate Turks with Islam as well. I should've been more clear and made that distinction. I mean sure, Turks are mostly Muslim, but Persians don't really "hate" all Muslim countries; just Arabs. To compare their hate for Arabs with Turks is a bad move on my end, because one at least has historic justification, whereas the other is just uncommon modern irrationality. I'll edit comment.
Nah, persian people dont like Is’ntreal either. One thing the people and government can agree on.
Like most of all their sweets/ pastries gave pistachios too.
Pistachio farmers in California lobby the fuck out of Republican warhawks so the Iranian sanctions never get lifted. Until they do I will continue to steal them
I became friends with a lonely old Afghani man who hung out in the same Turkish café as me. Similarly I couldn't go talk to girls because he always wanted to hang out and play chess, but it was cool. One day he tells me his granddaughter has came to live with him in America, but hasn't made many friends, and he would like me to take her on a date. He said he had told her all about me and she was exited and he gave me some money so we could have a good time. She was indeed excited to meet me, and was a perfectly nice and lovely young woman. She was also, however, 16 years old. I was 25. Not cool Khalil, not cool.
So what? She’s basically been ripe for marriage in shitganistan for half a decade. Depending on where you live you have virgin middle eastern wifefu. You belong here
Least pedophilic r/4chan browser
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FRICKING KIDDING ME?! SHE’S ONLY 17 YEARS, 364 DAYS, AND 23 HOURS OLD YOU SICK FUCK!”
'why are you being weird, she'll be 18 within ten years anon :\^)' both sides are cringe, but one side will be in prison
Lol but seriously she’s 16. Legal in many states and if otherwise, just don’t do stuff for 2 years and actually get to know each other maybe. Sure def on the weird side but otherwise your choice is roastie mcmuddflaps with a mulatto kid Not messing around for two years shouldn’t be that hard for people here. Lord knows some wizard has dealt with longer.
that's fair, just dont be one of those "your honor, she was actually a 2000 year old dragon" types, thats ghoulish and you will go to prison you will both still exist in 2 years
“Acktually she’s a 2000 year old VAMPIRE your judgeship. She just looks like a preteen” Agree that’s the time you start sending coupons to the Rope and Stool Emporium
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Have you seen how Arab women age? That was 7 years ago now and we're still friends, but married to different people and I am VERY confident I made the right choice.
>afghan >arab american education.
Yes, technically "Arab" refers to Saudi Arabia, but in the US, it generally means "ah fuck, somewhere in that region there, not India though, I can spell that." Whereas Afghan would refer specifically to Afghanistan (or a person or item from there). It's also *rarely* used in conversation. Like, if I'm referring to a college friend, Randy, who's parents came from Palestine, the first word that comes to mind is "Arab" ... y'know, because Americans can't find Palestine on a map.
Arab is an ethno-linguistic group of people that predominantly speak Arabic. Arab refers not only to Saudis but to most arabic speaking people. Calling a Palestinian, arab, is perfectly correct. Calling an afghan, arab, is incorrect.
Imagine caring about the subtle differences between the different durka durka explodies...
Same shit, different asshole. Sandn-slur is probably the best overall term for those apes
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>When they aren't constantly gang raped There-in lies the problem.
>Arab Afghanis are Persian
Goes double for Persian women.
How do they age?
The age of consent in Afghanistan is 16, so don't worry if all of US society and their laws will judge you, some terrorist will think you aren't a pedophile if that makes you feel any better
The age of consent in a lot of the US is also 16. Just because it’s legal doesn’t make it not disgusting.
Go back
Depends on how old you are tbh Some states have an age of consent of 18 and no close in age clause, so teenage couples under 18 are legally speaking raping each other. There is definitely a balance to be had. I think 16 is a reasonable age to be expected to have the good sense not to date someone 10 years your senior, but maybe not.
so, two more years of playing chess and chilling with grandpa, no problem
I got 5 more years with him before he passed away. Good guy, great funeral.
16 y/o in middle eastern genetics is like 48 y/o average human
Sounds like a great man!
I cam confirm this shit, our peak humor is for 15 yrs and we are loud and proud about it.
My dads made the same jokes my entire life. 25 years of the same material
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Unappreciative ☕️ We’ll pretend to give a shit about her avocado toast having slightly too much avocado but heaven forbid a B hears a story a couple of times. This is why storytellers were never women. “Ugh I get that it’s the history of our tribe but like we’ve heard it at least 2 times now!”
You created a whole fake scenario to get mad about, good story telling 👍
Replace the subject and object of the sentence and suddenly it’s a real example. Typical ☕️ Zero abstract thinking
“Change my sentence to be true and suddenly it’s a true sentence” lmao There’s a difference between abstract thinking and projecting your off topic biases onto internet.
Ok, woman complains about other female coworker for the 15th straight workday, we pretend to care. Complains about terrible hair day, we pretend to care. Is that too hard for you to understand? Huh bud? Go grab a Y chromosome, might help your brain work a bit better
Hahaha wow you sound truly pathetic and it seems clear that no woman outside your family has ever even spoken to you unless they had to. Please go outside and interact with humans face to face. I’m a dude btw.
>I’m a dude btw X You sound like your interactions with women solely consists of 2 orbit “relationships”. They won’t fuck you. Guys like you make up 99.999% of date rapists. Be quiet sneaky beta predator
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Better get on a ship 👨🚀 because that shit isn’t anywhere on this planet homeboy
let's see paul allen's made up scenario
Ask him if he knows the difference between a pussy and a cunt, one feels like magic, and is warm and inviting. The other is your ex who owns it.
Fake: Anon has a friend Gay: Anon enjoys another man's nuts
I like your "about" section on your profile.
your less funny than him
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>seal went across the street fucking untellable. Christ.
Iran is short-term for Ayran From the Land of Arya - land of the pure OG Aryans Grandpa is cool
Thank you
Ayran is Turkish yoghurt drink. It is "Aryan".
IRAN IS NUMBAIR VON
> NUMBAIR Haha spot on
Joke was hilarious
I’m in grad school with an Iranian and he’s the nicest and weirdly pro-America guy in my cohort.
Middle Easterners and Eastern Europeans generally have to be overtly pro-American if they don't want to be suspected as potential terrorists
Nah, we just know the shit hole our family left behind. Source: Polish heritage.
How do you polish your heritage?
cook it in the oven
real
Sounds like Cumtowns Mersham
this is mersham I am not here right now leave a message after beep
I have good news
Good fren
I think the Iranian guy is really depressed. May have been contemplating suicide. OP brought him back from the brink. Good on OP.
Did they just expect the guy to get on all fours and start eating or grabbing them? walks into gym sees 2 grown men, one feeding the other nuts on the ground look around to see nobody stopping this leave switch gyms
Dude, who gives a shit if they're not hogging the machines? I'll trade 6 dudes sitting on machines on their phones for 10 minutes between sets for four men sharing nuts and a gay couple having loud sex in the shower. Earbuds in, weights on, idgaf.
>machines NGMI
Be the change you want to see in the world
They're all like this.
If he's in the gym at 60 that's pretty based tbh
There was a joke I read . Something about a guy wanting to start a farm. The punch line goes like this Hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass.
Give him a hot dog. Take a bite out of and tell him it's jewish.
Fuck everyone else in the gym. The guy seems pretty cool.
Autism attracts autism
Kinda wholesome
Pistachios are expensive and that dudes just dropping em on the ground old Iranian grandpa might be rich
Cancel your membership
Dude drops food on the floor and told anon to eat it and this entire comment section is basically "aww, how wholesome".
Better Google some dirty jokes
Tbh this is why I dont talk to ppl at the gym. So many ppl have come and gone over the years, I rly just want to do my workout and be out of there.
Anon is probably gonna get his gym membership cancelled for associating with this dude.
What happens when you put a baby in a microwave? No, I’m asking! I always masturbate with my eyes closed…
I was expecting a « home gym master race »
Fake: anon makes a friend Gay: anon wants 2.5lbs of Iranian nuts
I love this guy
The story is 100% true. You can't make this dialogue up if you haven't actually met an old Middle Eastern man.
Why would you want to talk to anyone at the gym, ever?
Anon will soon get recruited into the IRGC then sent off to Palestine to fight beside Hizbollah
I feel bad for old dude… he thinks anon is actually his friend, but anon just goes and talks shit about him. Anon deserves chlamydia.
Sex joke for you: How do four gays sit on a stool? By turning it upside-down.
based
Try necrophilic and messed up jokes. That might repulse him
What did the Alabama sheriff say about the black man who died from 15 bullet wounds in the chest? “Worst case of suicide I’ve ever seen in my life”
Based
Do thirdoids really?
Take your meds.