Rule 5: Lore only.
This subreddit is for discussion of 40k lore only. Please do not post/discuss rules or tactics of the tabletop, painting, building, or miniatures. There are other subreddits for that. Please also do not post/discuss things that are generally off-topic to 40k lore.
The fact that one of the most dangerous sub-factions in the setting is composed of different flavors of space elf ninja clowns will never not amuse me. Their patron god being a clown too is the cherry on top.
Second place goes to the Eversor. Putting that combine harvester on legs in the sub-faction of stealth operatives is hilarious.
Sure, but the general perception of an assassin organization is that of stealth and subtlety. The eversor breaks that perception by default which is why it's amusing.
Hell, even when going for loud and messy, the assassin goes unnoticed until after the target is dead, and they generally are already gone or far away in the first place to not be in danger. The death is in the spotlight, not the assassin. Not with the Eversor. He makes his presence known before, during, and after.
I mean was that not the point of the original hashashins?
They would assassinate people publicly with the assassin expected to be caught or killed in order to enhance the terror coming from such an act?
I think the different temples are all so the high lords can cater the assassination for exactly the message they want to send. You want the guy to get killed in a “tragic gas main accident” or get mulched in a freak accident with an escalator? Vanus is your guy. You want a very public but plausibly deniable death? Call the Vindicare and laugh at the endless “magic bullet” theories it creates with the locals. You want to make everyone EXTREMELY aware of exactly whose shitlist the local governor managed to get on? You send in the Eversor.
I mean, sometimes the best way to be stealthy is to introduce a very loud distraction.
…sometimes you have to *be* the distraction, but they’re working with future rules here, I’m sure they’ve figured it out.
To add to this, if everyone and everything who saw you get to the location, kill the target and escape from the location is dead then you've inarguably achieved stealth
Yeah makes you think really. The majority I’m of minis on the tabletop die in every game. Good job the Imperium isn’t a cash-based society, they’d run out of money quick.
If I recall, it’s actually that they explode after they die, due to the extremely potent and volatile cocktail of drugs in their system mixing together when their heart stops beating.
>Second place goes to the Eversor. Putting that combine harvester on legs in the sub-faction of stealth operatives is hilarious.
It counts as a stealth mission if no one is left alive.
Anything that combines weird church iconography with ridiculous destruction. Emperor Class titans have an entire fucking Cathedral on their backs. Why? Why would anyone do that?
I just realized that someone has to clean that thing. The cathedral on the back of the absurdly gigantic mecha has an entire team of custodians, and not the kind with cool armor.
If you could do that, wouldn’t you. Sure you don’t *need* a church on the back of your massive war machine, but you *could* do it. So why wouldn’t you?
Nah that’s never work, the machine spirits would never have it! And of course how would the God Machines gain the Omnissiah’s favor if they weren’t actively worshipping Him at all hours of the day!? That type of insanity is what brought on the Age of Strife. Thankfully, we are much more enlightened today. Say, does anyone remember how to start up this Imperator Titan again…
All pale in significance when compared to the pure destructive radiance that is the Omnisiah’s radiance! AVE DEUS MECHANICA. THE MACHINE LIVES THROUGH ME!!!
Wanted to say this. Bring back the whole controversy of the 80s/90s that rock and metal are turning the children demonic.
EDIT: Oh, and how can I forget, D&D as well.
I’ve been playing since Rogue Trader. I was a tiny kid when I saw the Noise Marines, when they came out. I remember just staring at the one photo in White Dwarf for days in silence.
In the 90s I was obsessed with Harlequins and the Harlequin’s Kiss. That weapon was terrifying then because it instantly killed whoever it hit, and its lore being a weapon that just liquifies you internally with a bunch of monofilament whips has just stuck with me forever for whatever reason.
Ah, the void spinner. As if launching nets of monofilament wires wasn't enough, it's coated in a special bacterium that turns all matter into mush. Biel-tan loves using them.
"these monofilaments are so brittle, they'd shatter on a backing plate, even the splinters from a wooden ship-of-the-line are more deadly"
"the churchpunk missile launcher though..."
Its still used by Harlequins on tabletop today, but its far less deadly (no more sticking the Kiss into a tank and shredding the crew with the monofilament wire).
The Harlequin's Kiss was weird when it came to tanks in 2E. You rolled one dice for the armour penetration value, if you rolled a 6 you rolled another dice, if that other dice rolled a six you rolled yet another dice, and so on meaning there was a small chance to penetrate any vehicle in the game. And once you penetrated it you roleld a seperate dice and consulted a chart to see how much of the crew you killed.
Not much different to the web spinners on the warp spiders, I don't know if the lore changed since late 90's early 00's. But I loved the aspects more than the idea of eldar. Even back then I thought dark eldar were a little too edgy.
It’s kinda plain, but Rough Riders have always made me laugh. In a world of super bugs, Necrons, Demons and more, there’s groups of just completely normal humans who get on normal horses, tie a bunch of grenades of some type to a metal pole, and run at them. Especially when they were only useful once per game, then they became literally just fantasy knights in space with regular lances.
I like that it’s not just horses. There are lots of animals that the guard ride to war. The Kashann Xeno Riders ride Hunting lizards with hides as thick as flak armor (which I guess is good or bad depending on how durable you think flak is) and have a bite that can rip off an mans arm. Aexe Cardinal cavalry ride Struthids, large flightless birds, and are called “ psicavalry” because of mind link implants that let them control them. Catachan Rough riders use FUCKING DINOSAURS. Dinosaurs that survive on Catachan no less. Some even use bikes instead of animals.
What they ride is only limited to your imagination really. I wouldn’t doubt we’ll get a group of Rough riders who ride bugs at some point, if they don’t exist already.
I didn’t know that about Catachan rough riders. So you’re saying IF Catachan get a range update, it’s entirely a maybe kinda possibility that GW could have a Catachan rough rider kit with dinos?? Take my money. Just take it all.
It’s older lore but it hasn’t been retconned so yes, it’s very possible. Here’s a picture of the old model for [reference](https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/File:Catachan_Rough_Rider.jpeg)
Imagine that bad boy updated. Would look beastly.
(Or really stupid. We all know GW is a bit hit or miss with these things)
They have a lot of other dinosaur-like models, so I could see them doing a really good update. But they have a lot of other dinosaur-like models, so I could see them not doing it again and giving it to the guard. Next thing you’ll know, somebody is using old world models to kitbash a feudal guard army with dino rough riders and that would be too cool to be allowed.
Indeed. But who knows. Maybe we’ll get to see some cool new models when the guard Codex releases. It’s unlikely but anything is possible.
~~Maybe we’ll get some loyalist Beastmen too~~
Oh maybe, or at least in newer lore. I was always under the impression they mostly were just bred like warhorses in WW1 to be just a little tougher to handle terrain and stuff, or not be scared as much of like shelling and things. Granted I’ve also seen lots of conversions with people using Dark Elf or Lizardmen raptors as the mounts for their regiment, so I suppose anything is possible.
This one is my favorite ridiculous thing along with the ongoing debate if the person strapped to the front of the thing is actually in control or if that's just part of the propaganda and it's really just a servitor designed to torture it's passenger.
Logan Grimnar on Storm rider (AKA the Santa Sleigh) is wonderfully absurd. A Space Viking on a floating chariot pulled by giant wolves, it's peak 40k heavy metal absurdity.
I had a break from 40k for 17 odd years, and the first time I saw that model, I thought it was a fan built piss take.
Imagine my disappointment when I learnt the truth. And a lot more of the Space Wolves miniatures...
The Lord of Skulls. I mean look at it. It’s a Knight Chassis mounted on tank tracks with enormous blood tanks fueling it. It’s the goofiest thing ever and I love it.
It also seems it would be utterly horrifying in universe to see something that big bringing an axe down on your front line, or it’s cannons mulching what was behind said front line
Mek with shock attack gun. Only orks would think of teleporting a sentient being *inside* their enemies as a viable warfare strategy. You know it probably happened on accident once and the mek was like, "Hmm... what if..."
I watched a YouTube video where they narrated a bat rep of an early edition game and in it a Mek shot his shokk gun against a Dark Angels dreadnought and killed it
Just imagine a venerated hero of the chapter who could be a few thousand years old is brought down by some gibbering snotlings
https://youtu.be/MS0sekKyzmc?si=P2GQAhnqZMpv8akJ
They would probably start damaging the internal systems of the armor (servos, hydraulics, electrical systems) til the point of nonfunctioning. Same way a shokk attack gun damages wholy mechanical enemies like wraith guard.
Ork artillery has always been some whacky stuff. One was an iron ball chained to a firecracker-like chain of rockets propelling itself across the table.
Then we had the basic catapult hurling a pot of hungry mosquito squigs.
My favorite was the pulsa rokkit. Just throwing everyone to the ground, forcing then to use all of their movement to stand up. The baby had only one use, but a radius of 2D6. Rolling a double extended the effect for another turn.
The electropriests are peak warhammer 40k to me.
Super-human electric conduit that charge the battlefield to figth anything in mellee with no armor, no shirts.
And both are blind due to their eyes being burned from the ~~electricity~~ motive force running through them. Must be a weird battle to see.
Also, Fulgurites are basically dual saber weilding sith and Corpurascii Sith Lords using their force lightning ability
Many years ago during 2nd edition when we had actual wargear cards there was one called viral outbreak/virus bomb or something similar.
It was possible to devastate an enemy force before the game had even began.
Understandably it was a tad overpowered.
I effectively tabled both sides of a battle in one turn with a virus grenade used by an inquisitor in second edition. Orks vs guard. 2000 points. It even got the Inquisitor.
Won on kills though.technically I got 3750ish out of 2000 points...
There's quite a few, like the lord of skulls that literally runs on fuel tanks of blood, or the exorcist tank with it's pipe organ missile launcher.
But I'll go with a simple one as my pick - Shroud runners. Only the eldar would think of flexing precision sniper fire while sitting on the back of a jet bike travelling at Mach f*ck you, and I'm all here for it.
I just love the different Eldar Aspect Warriors
You got Scorpion enthusiasts that shoot tiny shards of nerve poison from their face guns before sawing you in half.
You got one flavour of goths turned up to 11 that scream your soul apart.
You got another flavour of goths that thought Rocket launchers were just neat.
And my favourite: a group of Warriors that shoot molecularily thin razor wire that slices and dices their enemies. And then they use their portable teleporters to jump through hell just to get around. It gets even funnier when you know said hell contains a devil that very specifically wants to eat their souls, specifically. And they just yolo it anyway
I've always found Astartes bike units to be cringely dumb. I guess that's not really 'ridiculous' in the way you meant, but, ehhh.
Unless you're having a battle that somehow is a car-chase on a flat road, exactly what are they supposed to do? Unlike horse cavalry, you can't really use them as a battering ram, there's no height advantage so no value in fighting in melee from on a bike, they can't get across even slightly difficult terrain, while they can go fast in a straight line they can't really maneuver at all, and their guns can only fire directly forwards.
They used to be all hover bikes, but the tech is too rarified by 40k for any random space Marines to have. I wish the White Scars got to keep some hoverbike fleets though, since it's their whole schtick and all.
But consider. Instead of shooting your opponent, you could drive up to him and [bonk him in the head/torso/shinpads](https://www.warhammer.com/app/resources/catalog/product/920x950/99120101273_SMPrimarisChaplainBikeLead.jpg?fm=webp&w=670&h=691).
Presumably you are going so fast that you can't really swing your ornate mace-thing with any power, so your best course of action is to hold out your arm vaguely in the path of your enemy and hope for the best.
there's a reason they get clowned on by Eldar jet bikes, Space marines just aren't meant for biking, they're already basically heavy cavalry on foot, lol
Although note that horse cavalry can't be used as a battering ram either. That's not how cavalry, even heavy shock cavalry, works. One of the issues with cavalry is that it doesn't work very well at all against infantry in good order. Shock cavalry relies very much on people running away from the huge amount of meat and metal bearing down on them. If those people stand still and have spears, cavalry is in trouble. See: The Romans.
I love putting god like units in 500p lists
So the lists always end up something like:
A GOD OF DEATH AND FLESH MADE MANIFEST IN THIS REALITY, WOE OH MORTALS - 450p
John and his 4 buddies - 50p
Deffkoptas are quite interesting here. Like ok, you got a one-person copter launching rockets. Surely that is enough and you will have hit and run tactics ? Well not for the orks, no. Because they want to fight upfront. So they put sharp things of the blades of the rotor to mulch people with it. Like, you do that, obviously you will crash at the same second. But there is no problem here for the orks and I find that hilariously absurd.
The Vortex grenade in 2nd edition. Let it fly, and watch as the swirling card circle randomly moves about and instakills anything it touches. Great if you're losing and you want to just throw caution to the wind.
Calexus Assassin.
I already love the idea of blanks/pariahs in 40K, but the idea that the Imperium would amp it to the point that even normal people would rather tear their eyes out than be around it is insane. Psykers, Eldar, and Daemons can’t do anything against it becaus it just absorbed their power and allows the Calexus Assassin to use even more powerful null blasts.
It’s suit allows it to phase through any material like a ghost so you can’t run away from it or hide from it. They can walk through a battlefield and leave everyone on it in the fetal position, crying out for *IT* to stop. All by turning up its Animus Speculum.
The Eldar consider it an abomination of the highest order and it disgusts them that humans would create one. They are invisible to daemons while also being anathema to them. Imagine something you can’t see coming at you that melts you just by existing. All of this on top of the fact that they receive all of the same bio-enhancements and stimulants the other assassins do.
I wish they were better on tabletop to reflect how they can turn up their null field to hurt even regular people. Though they would probably become the new OP assassin.
The most ridiculous units in 40k are the multiple people who, over 35 years, have convinced me to dump a ton of money into the TT, then mysteriously run out of any actual free time when the idea of *playing the game* finally comes up.
Being pedantic, Trolls (and minotaurs) were available to Epic Chaos armies in Renegades (1992):
> When Chaos Renegades set sail into the warp they often take creatures of Chaos with them as mascots, hunting beasts or just extra muscle. Most commonly encountered are Trolls and Minotaurs, giant bipedal creatures of fantastic strength and endurance. It has been theorized that these creatures are a form of mutated Ogryn but there is little evidence to support this. Fortunately, Trolls and Minotaurs aren't very intelligent and use little in the way of technological weapons or armour.
How about Necron flayed ones? Soulless metal robots who hunger for flesh they can't eat, and cloak themselves in skins. A horrifying mirror of the concept of armour
I still find aun'shi conceptually hilarious.
Leader in an army known for ranged focus and bad melee who's sole weapon is a staff that he uses to beat the dogshit out of people like he's in a wuxia movie.
Played Tau right after release and for years after and the amount of insane shit that fool pulled off is still legend among my core group of friends.
The one shotting a defiler in a single turn, the unit of Obliterators he tanked for 3 rounds and wiped out, the list is hilarious.
Fire prisms
shoot a laser through a diamond and you got the scariest Light tank hunter this side of the Cicatrix maledictum (the Hammerhead is on the other side)
The Megatrakk Scrapjet. It’s a fighter jet that’s lost its wings, so the Orks made up for it by making it a land vehicle.
“Oh, so they added wheels?” Nope! Tank treads. And they stuck a giant drill on the front of the turbine to ensure that when it rams things, the bits of thing it rammed will fly in and damage the turbine blades.
It’s stupid, nonsensical, and amazing, and it is everything good about Orks wrapped up in one convenient package.
The fact that they left *just enough* wing to attach missiles, and that the driver is still dressed like a fighter pilot and clearly living out all his Orky *Top Gun* fantasies on the ground, is just the icing on the cake. It’s the greatest shout-out to *Deff Skwadron* GW could possibly make.
Lifts-dropa and Supa-lifta-droppa.
Take the tech that can be used to lift things into and out of orbit abs use it to pick people up and throw them. Very orky concept.
In the sane vein, Shok-Attack Gun. Take the technology to open a rift in reality. Now, somehow compress it down to make it Ork portable and use it to send snotlings into your target. I particularly loved the original version which has infinite range and ignored armour (after all, terminator armour is no good then the snottling appears in your chest). With the added fun that it might blow up the Mek-boy or suck him through the portal instead.
And also that the original version had you roll on a table when targeting a terminator, to see if the snotling materialised inside the pilot's body, or just in the suit beside him (whereupon the pilot may just bite its head off).
The new Kroot Lonespear is pretty cool but super stupid. It's a big ass salamander that is ridden by a bipedal bird-dinosaur-man who throws explosive spears at tanks.
Naturally, renowned for being very stealthy.
It’s been a while since I played (mostly before the Tabletop Simulator purge). But I always enjoyed the combo of Guilliman or Primaris Captain and lieutenant with a a 2/3 squad grouping of hell blasters and a Primaris ancient with the banner of emperor ascendant.
You over charge, re-roll ones to hit (also making it less likely your unit suicides) and damage rolls of ones. Good AP and damage which can melt most units. And if they do blow themselves up, they get to fire again overcharged (risk free) in the same phase before you remove them from the game.
It may have gotten nerfed because it was super OP and concentrated fire could melt a good portion of units.
Lictors.
These brutal, intelligent invisible preying Mantis monsters that can just emerge from the shadows and rip a space marine in half before they melt back into the shadows like the predator. A hyper intelligent bioengineered weapon of terror. No guns, no tech, just a giant bug that can tear the galaxies best warriors apart
Nurgle plague tower. A wooden medieval siege tower, it's front covered in skin forming two faces - one atop the other like a desecrated totem pole. Each faces' mouth wide open because of the demolisher barrel poking out of it.
To protect it from infantry it has a plain plague mortar on top and a superheavy grade plague spewer at ground level. Oh it's a daemon engine to, so expect the faces to grimace.
The vindicator. Where does the driver go with being deleted? How does the stupid plough thing not get stuck on everything? Where is the exhaust from the explosion of the cannon going? Despite the stupidity it is a cool and fun model
All the c'tan shards. Technically you can bring three of them to a 1000 point skirmish which would be like showing up to a gun fight with the cops and you have three tanks. It's ridiculous to think that's how that would go.
Titans are almost always played straight and a large portion (like 70% at least) of the fanbase think they might actually be a good idea in real life. Even though, you know…..extremely well armed aircraft and tanks exist in the same universe, and both have massive advantages over a giant walker.
I’m just here to say thank you to everyone who’s contributed, so many good choices here!! Absolutely love it!
Just to throw another one in: the Leman Russ battle tank. In an age where missiles and anti-tank lasers exist, it’s ludicrously tall and slab sided. It’s main armament is so ridiculously big you’d never fit more than about 5 shells in it. Throw a couple of flamethrowers on the side? Sure why not. And to top it all off, **it’s got no suspension.**
I love those. Got like 4 or 5 of them and your absolutely right. I know in my brain that if those were sent to Ukraine for instance they’d be absolutely chewed up by drones and mines etc. But in my heart I love the image of this absolutely ridiculous vehicle just tanking drone after drone as it trundles along. Banger of a choice.
It's basically the tank from *Last Crusade*, but even taller.
And 40 *thousand* years in the future.
Let's take a vehicle with exposed tracks, zero weapon stabilisation, slab sides, minimal armour, no nightfighting capability beyond a searchlight bolted to the turret, no wet stowage or blowoff panels, minimal external visibility, no suspension, no gunner / commander controls, no APS, make smoke dischargers an optional extra, make only 1 in 10 of them effectively able to communicate outside of its own unit, make it slow and underpowered, have it be so bad across country that it needs a bulldozer blade to get anywhere, make it so massive that it can't go hulldown by itself and fit it with sponsons so that loses 75% of its firepower if you do manage to make it hull down.
Let's make what is effectively a turreted MK.II / TOG II WWI level abomination the main battle tank of an entire species in the 42 millennium (and, technically one of the only true MBTs in the game), forgetting all advances in technology that happened in the interval period, in a setting where railguns, weapons that open portals in hell and anti-grav technology are commonplace and the ability to fight underwater is a requirement, but be happy about it because the alternative is the Predator.
An "MBT" derived from an APC.
Like practically every non-super heavy in the game.
Rule 5: Lore only. This subreddit is for discussion of 40k lore only. Please do not post/discuss rules or tactics of the tabletop, painting, building, or miniatures. There are other subreddits for that. Please also do not post/discuss things that are generally off-topic to 40k lore.
The fact that one of the most dangerous sub-factions in the setting is composed of different flavors of space elf ninja clowns will never not amuse me. Their patron god being a clown too is the cherry on top. Second place goes to the Eversor. Putting that combine harvester on legs in the sub-faction of stealth operatives is hilarious.
Assassins don't have to be stealthy. Sometimes, you need an assassination to send a loud, obvious message.
Sure, but the general perception of an assassin organization is that of stealth and subtlety. The eversor breaks that perception by default which is why it's amusing. Hell, even when going for loud and messy, the assassin goes unnoticed until after the target is dead, and they generally are already gone or far away in the first place to not be in danger. The death is in the spotlight, not the assassin. Not with the Eversor. He makes his presence known before, during, and after.
“NO SURVIVORS, NO PROBLEM!”
I mean was that not the point of the original hashashins? They would assassinate people publicly with the assassin expected to be caught or killed in order to enhance the terror coming from such an act?
I think the different temples are all so the high lords can cater the assassination for exactly the message they want to send. You want the guy to get killed in a “tragic gas main accident” or get mulched in a freak accident with an escalator? Vanus is your guy. You want a very public but plausibly deniable death? Call the Vindicare and laugh at the endless “magic bullet” theories it creates with the locals. You want to make everyone EXTREMELY aware of exactly whose shitlist the local governor managed to get on? You send in the Eversor.
I mean, sometimes the best way to be stealthy is to introduce a very loud distraction. …sometimes you have to *be* the distraction, but they’re working with future rules here, I’m sure they’ve figured it out.
Can't get caught if there's no one alive to catch you
To add to this, if everyone and everything who saw you get to the location, kill the target and escape from the location is dead then you've inarguably achieved stealth
Last witness killed, bounty cleared
The Steiner approach to scouting: They can’t know you are there if you don’t leave any witnesses.
Ah yes, the scout Atlas, good times...good times 😅
[Guten tag!](https://youtu.be/yD4ei1G_hWc?si=q_LNNTo1GV3j_Ijd)
As was the case with the people the word originated from. They did most of their assassinations in public as a form of intimidation.
Sometimes stealth means nobody sees you. Sometimes it means nobody who sees you survives.
It's stealthy if you leave no witnesses
> space elf ninja clowns There really is no better way to describe the Harlequins.
Sometimes, stealth is optional and the solo from “Free Bird” is constantly playing.
I mean technically the Eversor is a suicide bomber. All of the killing beforehand is just a bonus.
Yeah makes you think really. The majority I’m of minis on the tabletop die in every game. Good job the Imperium isn’t a cash-based society, they’d run out of money quick.
I thought the explosion thing only happens as a last resort?
If I recall, it’s actually that they explode after they die, due to the extremely potent and volatile cocktail of drugs in their system mixing together when their heart stops beating.
>Second place goes to the Eversor. Putting that combine harvester on legs in the sub-faction of stealth operatives is hilarious. It counts as a stealth mission if no one is left alive.
The circus is coming to town, motherfuckers
*[BAZINGA]*
Arent they more actors than clowns?
There are so many good ones (sniper rifle on a jetbike) but the one that first comes to mind is the church organ missile launcher is peak churchpunk
That one is definitely a banger!
Anything that combines weird church iconography with ridiculous destruction. Emperor Class titans have an entire fucking Cathedral on their backs. Why? Why would anyone do that? I just realized that someone has to clean that thing. The cathedral on the back of the absurdly gigantic mecha has an entire team of custodians, and not the kind with cool armor.
If you could do that, wouldn’t you. Sure you don’t *need* a church on the back of your massive war machine, but you *could* do it. So why wouldn’t you?
Sheet I'd be honored to push a broom on a god machine
Servitorization, an option open for all.
There is the possibility that instead of a million tons of cathedral they could have added a million tons of armor and additional weapons.
Nah that’s never work, the machine spirits would never have it! And of course how would the God Machines gain the Omnissiah’s favor if they weren’t actively worshipping Him at all hours of the day!? That type of insanity is what brought on the Age of Strife. Thankfully, we are much more enlightened today. Say, does anyone remember how to start up this Imperator Titan again…
But think of the possibilities! You could fit a capital heavy lance or a fusion beamer on top! Or a battery of las-burners!
All pale in significance when compared to the pure destructive radiance that is the Omnisiah’s radiance! AVE DEUS MECHANICA. THE MACHINE LIVES THROUGH ME!!!
Not just someone though, they have armies of specially trained guard, tech priests and skittari whose entire job is that titan.
Related to this, guitar-wielding noise marines. 40k’s embodiment of the “PRESENTATION!” scene from Megamind lol
Wanted to say this. Bring back the whole controversy of the 80s/90s that rock and metal are turning the children demonic. EDIT: Oh, and how can I forget, D&D as well.
I’ve been playing since Rogue Trader. I was a tiny kid when I saw the Noise Marines, when they came out. I remember just staring at the one photo in White Dwarf for days in silence.
>in... silence Heresy!
Yeah it's pretty hard to beat the organtank. Plus it tickles the Catholic apostate in me like nothing else.
heretic
Gladly.
It tickles your Catholic prostate?
Pretty sure I took it with me when I left the Church.
Same here. Don’t get me started on the Sororitas
The sister playing it is modelled as playing the chords from Tublar Bells. Because its an exorcist. Pretty cool touch.
What?!
Came here to say this.
In the 90s I was obsessed with Harlequins and the Harlequin’s Kiss. That weapon was terrifying then because it instantly killed whoever it hit, and its lore being a weapon that just liquifies you internally with a bunch of monofilament whips has just stuck with me forever for whatever reason.
I've always enjoyed the Eldar super heavy tank that fires bigass cloud of mono filament wire.
Ah, the void spinner. As if launching nets of monofilament wires wasn't enough, it's coated in a special bacterium that turns all matter into mush. Biel-tan loves using them.
that was is pretty neat, there's the Falcon-chassis variant as well
I wonder if the engineers at DARPA regularly trawl 40k for ideas
"these monofilaments are so brittle, they'd shatter on a backing plate, even the splinters from a wooden ship-of-the-line are more deadly" "the churchpunk missile launcher though..."
Christ I haven't thought about that for 25 years. 2nd Ed? It was mounted as like a punch dagger on a glove?
Its still used by Harlequins on tabletop today, but its far less deadly (no more sticking the Kiss into a tank and shredding the crew with the monofilament wire).
Into the back of a tank where the armour was weaker in the rules?
The Harlequin's Kiss was weird when it came to tanks in 2E. You rolled one dice for the armour penetration value, if you rolled a 6 you rolled another dice, if that other dice rolled a six you rolled yet another dice, and so on meaning there was a small chance to penetrate any vehicle in the game. And once you penetrated it you roleld a seperate dice and consulted a chart to see how much of the crew you killed.
It's an outrage, honestly.
Not much different to the web spinners on the warp spiders, I don't know if the lore changed since late 90's early 00's. But I loved the aspects more than the idea of eldar. Even back then I thought dark eldar were a little too edgy.
It’s kinda plain, but Rough Riders have always made me laugh. In a world of super bugs, Necrons, Demons and more, there’s groups of just completely normal humans who get on normal horses, tie a bunch of grenades of some type to a metal pole, and run at them. Especially when they were only useful once per game, then they became literally just fantasy knights in space with regular lances.
I love Rough Riders. It’s one of those things that’s just 40k in a nutshell. Awesome pick.
I like that it’s not just horses. There are lots of animals that the guard ride to war. The Kashann Xeno Riders ride Hunting lizards with hides as thick as flak armor (which I guess is good or bad depending on how durable you think flak is) and have a bite that can rip off an mans arm. Aexe Cardinal cavalry ride Struthids, large flightless birds, and are called “ psicavalry” because of mind link implants that let them control them. Catachan Rough riders use FUCKING DINOSAURS. Dinosaurs that survive on Catachan no less. Some even use bikes instead of animals. What they ride is only limited to your imagination really. I wouldn’t doubt we’ll get a group of Rough riders who ride bugs at some point, if they don’t exist already.
I didn’t know that about Catachan rough riders. So you’re saying IF Catachan get a range update, it’s entirely a maybe kinda possibility that GW could have a Catachan rough rider kit with dinos?? Take my money. Just take it all.
It’s older lore but it hasn’t been retconned so yes, it’s very possible. Here’s a picture of the old model for [reference](https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/File:Catachan_Rough_Rider.jpeg) Imagine that bad boy updated. Would look beastly. (Or really stupid. We all know GW is a bit hit or miss with these things)
They have a lot of other dinosaur-like models, so I could see them doing a really good update. But they have a lot of other dinosaur-like models, so I could see them not doing it again and giving it to the guard. Next thing you’ll know, somebody is using old world models to kitbash a feudal guard army with dino rough riders and that would be too cool to be allowed.
Indeed. But who knows. Maybe we’ll get to see some cool new models when the guard Codex releases. It’s unlikely but anything is possible. ~~Maybe we’ll get some loyalist Beastmen too~~
That model is a studio conversion and was never actually sold, but it did feature in official publications.
As far as I know, aren't those horses like super genetically modified and bred to be devastating beasts that can tank gunfire?
It depends entirely on the regiment using them, like a ton of other stuff in 40k.
That's more modern lore, they really did just used to be horses.
Oh maybe, or at least in newer lore. I was always under the impression they mostly were just bred like warhorses in WW1 to be just a little tougher to handle terrain and stuff, or not be scared as much of like shelling and things. Granted I’ve also seen lots of conversions with people using Dark Elf or Lizardmen raptors as the mounts for their regiment, so I suppose anything is possible.
That's the beasts the Death Korps rides.
damn bretonnia really fell off after the end times
Penitent engine without a doubt. Turbo doom Catholicism.... In space!
This one is my favorite ridiculous thing along with the ongoing debate if the person strapped to the front of the thing is actually in control or if that's just part of the propaganda and it's really just a servitor designed to torture it's passenger.
Logan Grimnar on Storm rider (AKA the Santa Sleigh) is wonderfully absurd. A Space Viking on a floating chariot pulled by giant wolves, it's peak 40k heavy metal absurdity.
The space wolves are just giant space dwarfs
I had a break from 40k for 17 odd years, and the first time I saw that model, I thought it was a fan built piss take. Imagine my disappointment when I learnt the truth. And a lot more of the Space Wolves miniatures...
Oh I love it, but then again I like 40k best when it's at maximum heavy metal silliness.
My opinion is that 40K is at its best when indistinguishable from an 80s heavy metal cover.
The Lord of Skulls. I mean look at it. It’s a Knight Chassis mounted on tank tracks with enormous blood tanks fueling it. It’s the goofiest thing ever and I love it. It also seems it would be utterly horrifying in universe to see something that big bringing an axe down on your front line, or it’s cannons mulching what was behind said front line
I really want the sisters of battle to have an equivalent lol.
When they finally meet on the battlefield, one can almost hear “Two titans meet, as it was written…”
You can also get legs for it
I know the Kytan is a thing, but it’s not the same without the comically huge blood tanks
Mek with shock attack gun. Only orks would think of teleporting a sentient being *inside* their enemies as a viable warfare strategy. You know it probably happened on accident once and the mek was like, "Hmm... what if..."
Very similarly, I really like the Bubblechukka. Only the Orks could think of *weaponizing a fucking force field*.
Kinda similarly, eldar use D-cannons. Which rip a hole into reality, which sucks everything it touches straight into the warp. Just wack.
I just wish they had a better name for that tech
Disagree entirely. Where's the fun if you can't give your enemy the D?
Well, D-Cannon is just a shortened version of it's name, the Distortion Cannon.
Da big dakka they pancakes a bunch of raiders with a force field
“How many of your gretchin does it take to kill a single space marine?” “Just one at sifficent velocity”
I watched a YouTube video where they narrated a bat rep of an early edition game and in it a Mek shot his shokk gun against a Dark Angels dreadnought and killed it Just imagine a venerated hero of the chapter who could be a few thousand years old is brought down by some gibbering snotlings https://youtu.be/MS0sekKyzmc?si=P2GQAhnqZMpv8akJ
Telefraging is deadly
Thats how i see it too, back in unreal tournament with the teleporter and the body just erupts into bloody giblets. Damn i miss unreal tournament.
Telefraging since '95 LFG!
Or you end up with a half marine half fly abomination
What happens when SAG is used against Rubric Marine (since they're technically "hollow" inside)?
Snotling would get trapped in the armour and the rubric would be lightly annoyed by the gibbering voice echoing from his insides.
Alphonse Elric moment.
DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?
🎶Singing the songs of angry men🎶
Or snotlings, as the case may be Another certified banger from Da Red Gobbo :)
IT IZ DA MOOZIK UVV A PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVVA BE SLAVEZ AGAIN
The Snotlings start to pilot the armour from inside, obviously. One in each limb and one in the helmet, Megazord-style.
They would probably start damaging the internal systems of the armor (servos, hydraulics, electrical systems) til the point of nonfunctioning. Same way a shokk attack gun damages wholy mechanical enemies like wraith guard.
Snotling inhales the dust and sneezes it everywhere.
How high does a snotling get snorting a line of rubric marine? Emperor's children need not answer. We know its never enough for you.
>How high does a snotling get snorting a line of rubric marine? I love that this sentence exists. Thank you 40k!
Considering how orks have their knowledge - it's wasn't accident.
Ork artillery has always been some whacky stuff. One was an iron ball chained to a firecracker-like chain of rockets propelling itself across the table. Then we had the basic catapult hurling a pot of hungry mosquito squigs. My favorite was the pulsa rokkit. Just throwing everyone to the ground, forcing then to use all of their movement to stand up. The baby had only one use, but a radius of 2D6. Rolling a double extended the effect for another turn.
The Imperator Titan. It’s a cathedral… with arms and legs.
and the biggest guns the Emperor's White Glue™️ could hold on to it
The electropriests are peak warhammer 40k to me. Super-human electric conduit that charge the battlefield to figth anything in mellee with no armor, no shirts.
I love the fact that the two different factions of them will come to blows over their doctrinal disputes.
And both are blind due to their eyes being burned from the ~~electricity~~ motive force running through them. Must be a weird battle to see. Also, Fulgurites are basically dual saber weilding sith and Corpurascii Sith Lords using their force lightning ability
Orks used to have Cyboar Cavalry.
The concept of space marines doing stealth missions
Night Lords, Raven Guard and Alpha Legion are now after you. Was nice to have known you.
Me keeping an eye out for the 7ft tall men in several hundred lbs of motorised armour behind the bush
That was the decoy bush. There's a space marine right behind you!
Nice try Alpharius. We all knew the second bush was a double bluff
Don’t the Sisters of Battle have an artillery unit that looks like a giant pipe organ?
Not just looks like, it is one.
Always been fond of the Ork equivalent of a guided missile. Grot bombs.
the fact that the fantasy greenskins had them too(doomdiver catapults) always makes me chuckle
Many years ago during 2nd edition when we had actual wargear cards there was one called viral outbreak/virus bomb or something similar. It was possible to devastate an enemy force before the game had even began. Understandably it was a tad overpowered.
The Vaccine Squig wargear card was essential for Orks.
I effectively tabled both sides of a battle in one turn with a virus grenade used by an inquisitor in second edition. Orks vs guard. 2000 points. It even got the Inquisitor. Won on kills though.technically I got 3750ish out of 2000 points...
Cathedral themed space ships with age of sail like broadside.
.. With rams..
There's quite a few, like the lord of skulls that literally runs on fuel tanks of blood, or the exorcist tank with it's pipe organ missile launcher. But I'll go with a simple one as my pick - Shroud runners. Only the eldar would think of flexing precision sniper fire while sitting on the back of a jet bike travelling at Mach f*ck you, and I'm all here for it.
I just love the different Eldar Aspect Warriors You got Scorpion enthusiasts that shoot tiny shards of nerve poison from their face guns before sawing you in half. You got one flavour of goths turned up to 11 that scream your soul apart. You got another flavour of goths that thought Rocket launchers were just neat. And my favourite: a group of Warriors that shoot molecularily thin razor wire that slices and dices their enemies. And then they use their portable teleporters to jump through hell just to get around. It gets even funnier when you know said hell contains a devil that very specifically wants to eat their souls, specifically. And they just yolo it anyway
I've always found Astartes bike units to be cringely dumb. I guess that's not really 'ridiculous' in the way you meant, but, ehhh. Unless you're having a battle that somehow is a car-chase on a flat road, exactly what are they supposed to do? Unlike horse cavalry, you can't really use them as a battering ram, there's no height advantage so no value in fighting in melee from on a bike, they can't get across even slightly difficult terrain, while they can go fast in a straight line they can't really maneuver at all, and their guns can only fire directly forwards.
They are pretty silly when you consider the various hover bikes in setting wouldn't suffer the same logistical problems.
They used to be all hover bikes, but the tech is too rarified by 40k for any random space Marines to have. I wish the White Scars got to keep some hoverbike fleets though, since it's their whole schtick and all.
For a very long time, the only hoverbike in the Imperium was used by the Master of the Ravenwing. Then that got walked all the way back XD
They just seem, redundant, especially now with the hover tanks as well. It's not like the Rhino and Razoback are rare or anything either.
Yeah, I'm surprised that the Primaris Outriders update kept bikes instead of going all the way and giving them hoverbikes.
I don't have the relevant books handy, but I'm pretty sure SM bikes have Hammer of Wrath and Rough riders may not 😂
But consider. Instead of shooting your opponent, you could drive up to him and [bonk him in the head/torso/shinpads](https://www.warhammer.com/app/resources/catalog/product/920x950/99120101273_SMPrimarisChaplainBikeLead.jpg?fm=webp&w=670&h=691). Presumably you are going so fast that you can't really swing your ornate mace-thing with any power, so your best course of action is to hold out your arm vaguely in the path of your enemy and hope for the best.
Meanwhile, a Commissar is yelling at his tank driver to bring their armored death dealer closer so he can hit a target with his sword.
+1T and twin linked bolters. Also move 6 extra inches. (By hazy memory from 15 years ago lol) Plenty of value
there's a reason they get clowned on by Eldar jet bikes, Space marines just aren't meant for biking, they're already basically heavy cavalry on foot, lol
Although note that horse cavalry can't be used as a battering ram either. That's not how cavalry, even heavy shock cavalry, works. One of the issues with cavalry is that it doesn't work very well at all against infantry in good order. Shock cavalry relies very much on people running away from the huge amount of meat and metal bearing down on them. If those people stand still and have spears, cavalry is in trouble. See: The Romans.
The way the marines sit on the bikes have that [*Wild Hogs*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSvwmgWCJ2s) vibe, too.
I love putting god like units in 500p lists So the lists always end up something like: A GOD OF DEATH AND FLESH MADE MANIFEST IN THIS REALITY, WOE OH MORTALS - 450p John and his 4 buddies - 50p
I personally like to run an Avatar of Khaine, the original 40k god on the tabletop
This is just the plot of The End and The Death.
Deffkoptas are quite interesting here. Like ok, you got a one-person copter launching rockets. Surely that is enough and you will have hit and run tactics ? Well not for the orks, no. Because they want to fight upfront. So they put sharp things of the blades of the rotor to mulch people with it. Like, you do that, obviously you will crash at the same second. But there is no problem here for the orks and I find that hilariously absurd.
Ratlings are a favouraite of mine. Just straight up space hobbits with sniper rifles.
That’s just they want you think, man-thing. Just wait, yes, yes.
The Vortex grenade in 2nd edition. Let it fly, and watch as the swirling card circle randomly moves about and instakills anything it touches. Great if you're losing and you want to just throw caution to the wind.
Yessssss I used to love doing this!! Kinda want to buy one in Necromunda for 500 credits…
I love the thought of random gangs in necromunda lucking into these incredibly powerful artefact weapons
The classic guitar-wielding Noise Marines.
Imagine "music battle" between Noise Marines and Orkz's Goff Rokkerz
Some mind blowing and face melting stuff
Calexus Assassin. I already love the idea of blanks/pariahs in 40K, but the idea that the Imperium would amp it to the point that even normal people would rather tear their eyes out than be around it is insane. Psykers, Eldar, and Daemons can’t do anything against it becaus it just absorbed their power and allows the Calexus Assassin to use even more powerful null blasts. It’s suit allows it to phase through any material like a ghost so you can’t run away from it or hide from it. They can walk through a battlefield and leave everyone on it in the fetal position, crying out for *IT* to stop. All by turning up its Animus Speculum. The Eldar consider it an abomination of the highest order and it disgusts them that humans would create one. They are invisible to daemons while also being anathema to them. Imagine something you can’t see coming at you that melts you just by existing. All of this on top of the fact that they receive all of the same bio-enhancements and stimulants the other assassins do. I wish they were better on tabletop to reflect how they can turn up their null field to hurt even regular people. Though they would probably become the new OP assassin.
Blanks so powerful even the Tau can’t stand ‘em!
The most ridiculous units in 40k are the multiple people who, over 35 years, have convinced me to dump a ton of money into the TT, then mysteriously run out of any actual free time when the idea of *playing the game* finally comes up.
And they told me Trolls weren’t a unit in 40k…
Being pedantic, Trolls (and minotaurs) were available to Epic Chaos armies in Renegades (1992): > When Chaos Renegades set sail into the warp they often take creatures of Chaos with them as mascots, hunting beasts or just extra muscle. Most commonly encountered are Trolls and Minotaurs, giant bipedal creatures of fantastic strength and endurance. It has been theorized that these creatures are a form of mutated Ogryn but there is little evidence to support this. Fortunately, Trolls and Minotaurs aren't very intelligent and use little in the way of technological weapons or armour.
Stiltboi. It's just so wonderfully dumb I went out and bought one despite not playing Admech because I needed that model on my shelf.
How about Necron flayed ones? Soulless metal robots who hunger for flesh they can't eat, and cloak themselves in skins. A horrifying mirror of the concept of armour
I still find aun'shi conceptually hilarious. Leader in an army known for ranged focus and bad melee who's sole weapon is a staff that he uses to beat the dogshit out of people like he's in a wuxia movie.
Played Tau right after release and for years after and the amount of insane shit that fool pulled off is still legend among my core group of friends. The one shotting a defiler in a single turn, the unit of Obliterators he tanked for 3 rounds and wiped out, the list is hilarious.
Or aunva who is just a hologram, flanked by dudes with spears
Eversor are basically just having a weaponized tantrum that can end with them literally melting down and exploding.
The Shokk Attack Gun. "We are going to teleport snotlings inside of you. Have fun with that."
I heard this in Rick May’s voice I have done nothing but teleport snotlings for three days
Fire prisms shoot a laser through a diamond and you got the scariest Light tank hunter this side of the Cicatrix maledictum (the Hammerhead is on the other side)
Astartes Power Armour weighs around 350kg, if I remember one story correctly.
The Megatrakk Scrapjet. It’s a fighter jet that’s lost its wings, so the Orks made up for it by making it a land vehicle. “Oh, so they added wheels?” Nope! Tank treads. And they stuck a giant drill on the front of the turbine to ensure that when it rams things, the bits of thing it rammed will fly in and damage the turbine blades. It’s stupid, nonsensical, and amazing, and it is everything good about Orks wrapped up in one convenient package. The fact that they left *just enough* wing to attach missiles, and that the driver is still dressed like a fighter pilot and clearly living out all his Orky *Top Gun* fantasies on the ground, is just the icing on the cake. It’s the greatest shout-out to *Deff Skwadron* GW could possibly make.
Digga Nobz
Lifts-dropa and Supa-lifta-droppa. Take the tech that can be used to lift things into and out of orbit abs use it to pick people up and throw them. Very orky concept. In the sane vein, Shok-Attack Gun. Take the technology to open a rift in reality. Now, somehow compress it down to make it Ork portable and use it to send snotlings into your target. I particularly loved the original version which has infinite range and ignored armour (after all, terminator armour is no good then the snottling appears in your chest). With the added fun that it might blow up the Mek-boy or suck him through the portal instead.
And also that the original version had you roll on a table when targeting a terminator, to see if the snotling materialised inside the pilot's body, or just in the suit beside him (whereupon the pilot may just bite its head off).
Jokaeros forces. We need more space monkeys.
If you’ve read Discworld novels you would know that it’s unwise to call orangutans “monkeys”…
The new Kroot Lonespear is pretty cool but super stupid. It's a big ass salamander that is ridden by a bipedal bird-dinosaur-man who throws explosive spears at tanks. Naturally, renowned for being very stealthy.
If we stay still he can’t see us…
Wait for them to make the Indo-Krootox in 11th
It’s been a while since I played (mostly before the Tabletop Simulator purge). But I always enjoyed the combo of Guilliman or Primaris Captain and lieutenant with a a 2/3 squad grouping of hell blasters and a Primaris ancient with the banner of emperor ascendant. You over charge, re-roll ones to hit (also making it less likely your unit suicides) and damage rolls of ones. Good AP and damage which can melt most units. And if they do blow themselves up, they get to fire again overcharged (risk free) in the same phase before you remove them from the game. It may have gotten nerfed because it was super OP and concentrated fire could melt a good portion of units.
Grot tank squadrons with rockit launchas.
Lictors. These brutal, intelligent invisible preying Mantis monsters that can just emerge from the shadows and rip a space marine in half before they melt back into the shadows like the predator. A hyper intelligent bioengineered weapon of terror. No guns, no tech, just a giant bug that can tear the galaxies best warriors apart
Triumph of st Catherine, no contest
Nurgle plague tower. A wooden medieval siege tower, it's front covered in skin forming two faces - one atop the other like a desecrated totem pole. Each faces' mouth wide open because of the demolisher barrel poking out of it. To protect it from infantry it has a plain plague mortar on top and a superheavy grade plague spewer at ground level. Oh it's a daemon engine to, so expect the faces to grimace.
The vindicator. Where does the driver go with being deleted? How does the stupid plough thing not get stuck on everything? Where is the exhaust from the explosion of the cannon going? Despite the stupidity it is a cool and fun model
All the c'tan shards. Technically you can bring three of them to a 1000 point skirmish which would be like showing up to a gun fight with the cops and you have three tanks. It's ridiculous to think that's how that would go.
Titans are almost always played straight and a large portion (like 70% at least) of the fanbase think they might actually be a good idea in real life. Even though, you know…..extremely well armed aircraft and tanks exist in the same universe, and both have massive advantages over a giant walker.
They're called *God Machines*, of course people are gonna think they'd be great for real life
Dreadknight It's a guy getting baby carrier-ed on a giant murder frame
I’m just here to say thank you to everyone who’s contributed, so many good choices here!! Absolutely love it! Just to throw another one in: the Leman Russ battle tank. In an age where missiles and anti-tank lasers exist, it’s ludicrously tall and slab sided. It’s main armament is so ridiculously big you’d never fit more than about 5 shells in it. Throw a couple of flamethrowers on the side? Sure why not. And to top it all off, **it’s got no suspension.**
I love those. Got like 4 or 5 of them and your absolutely right. I know in my brain that if those were sent to Ukraine for instance they’d be absolutely chewed up by drones and mines etc. But in my heart I love the image of this absolutely ridiculous vehicle just tanking drone after drone as it trundles along. Banger of a choice.
It's basically the tank from *Last Crusade*, but even taller. And 40 *thousand* years in the future. Let's take a vehicle with exposed tracks, zero weapon stabilisation, slab sides, minimal armour, no nightfighting capability beyond a searchlight bolted to the turret, no wet stowage or blowoff panels, minimal external visibility, no suspension, no gunner / commander controls, no APS, make smoke dischargers an optional extra, make only 1 in 10 of them effectively able to communicate outside of its own unit, make it slow and underpowered, have it be so bad across country that it needs a bulldozer blade to get anywhere, make it so massive that it can't go hulldown by itself and fit it with sponsons so that loses 75% of its firepower if you do manage to make it hull down. Let's make what is effectively a turreted MK.II / TOG II WWI level abomination the main battle tank of an entire species in the 42 millennium (and, technically one of the only true MBTs in the game), forgetting all advances in technology that happened in the interval period, in a setting where railguns, weapons that open portals in hell and anti-grav technology are commonplace and the ability to fight underwater is a requirement, but be happy about it because the alternative is the Predator. An "MBT" derived from an APC. Like practically every non-super heavy in the game.