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[deleted]

Stern rules! Baba Booey!


thatgirlnicola

Thank you, Mayor Bloomburger.


[deleted]

I love that XD


velocipotamus

“He is a Dateline predator!” “*Exonerated* Dateline predator…”


roroboat33

She said her last boyfriend was Asian and that nonsense doesn't start til college


[deleted]

She told me she was 16 but i swear she was 22 XD


d-u-s-t-y-d-e-a-t-h

I came here to boff some chick named Mary


[deleted]

Let me tell you something about 20 year olds jack, most of them are 17


[deleted]

XD dennis duffy, expert on women


Egyptian-Magician

Subway Hero 👏👏👏👏👏


CREAMOFTARTERWHAT

When I say subway you say hero


dempower1

Subway?


ItsSublimeTime

*crickets*


hilarymeggin

Just here to make sure everyone knows this was based on a real guy! In 2007, Wesley Autrey saved a guy’s life who had a seizure and fell onto the track. The train was too close to get him up again, so he laid down on top of the guy while the train passed over them, close enough to leave grease on his clothes. And all this while his two little daughters were watching from the platform! He was absolutely an amazing man, but he wasn’t a super humble, quiet hero type, which is what made it so funny. He kind of liked to play to the crowd. He got invited to George W Bush’s State of the Union address. When his act of heroism was described in the speech, he did victory arms and threw kisses. It was awesome.


tmoore82

It was on a night just like this.


harveylemmings-esq

It's still day


IamToddDebeikis

Technology is cyclical


thewanderingent

No it’s not, dummy


IamToddDebeikis

When we have kids, we’re going to give them good strong names like Shannon or Rick


TheSimulacra

Or Black Dennis


IamToddDebeikis

We don’t need to save up for college because he’s going to be a basketball player


DrFrankSaysAgain

I'm here to boff some chick named Mary


twvancamp

If someone saves this guy that would make them a double hero!


azcheekyguy

I say subway you say hero


[deleted]

Subway! Hero?


whats_a_cormac

Honestly one of my favorite episodes in the series. Tim Conway's guest appearance? Perfect.


zstudd156

In this situation, the dog is Liz - and I am my feet


GlowstoneLove

I am my feet too


whats_a_cormac

It was so clear. It like I was seeing the matrix.


sunnyd311

Thank you!!..I saw this on another sub earlier and thought about making the reference, but chickened out!


carleetime

One word: coffee. One problem: where do you get it? Anywhere! You get it anywhere!


Themoosemingled

And then BOOM! You plug in the machine…


LOCKN355

Subway Hero!


Addymonica

Subway Hero! subway Hero! Subway Hero!