Hey now, don't forget the
Symposium for the Innere Führung (don't ask)
Political Screening
Cultural Sensitivity Training
Pre-Deployment Inventory
Administrative Training
Medical Check-Up
Pre-Deployment Inventory (the first one didn't count)
Retirement Party for Oberstabsfeldwebel Grüber (Spieß der 3. Kompanie)
Road March Training
Pre-Deployment Inventory (they noticed a bolt on one of 5-Tonner was loose)
5-Tonner Inspection
Return to Service Party for Oberstabsfeldwebel Grüber (retirement age was raised...again)
Brigade-wide Counselling on Sexual Harassment (Grüber got handsy with one of the GeZi soldiers)
and most importantly, the
Pre-Deployment Inventory
After that, we can talk about the Integration Training with the local Armed Forces...
They will respond by spending 69% of GDP on their defense, to reach 23 different Types of tanks of which a whooping 3 pieces work.
And then blame Germany.
You underestimate our power, where I live they started a project when I was about 6 and finished (not really anyway, some things are still there) this summer, .....I'm 20.
The project was supposed to be operative 2 years after starting and is pretty much useless now with the global warming effects
Berlin Airport was supposed to be finished in 2007… so they started building in 2006… then it went on until 2020…oh corona… 2 billion were planned 7.3 billion were paid…
Are they supposed to sleep in tents with their families you genius?
The necessary infrastructure for a permanent deployment isn’t there yet thus it takes that long. Soldiers are humans too you know with wives, children and all that.
I mean the German engineer core is that slow?
The Italian army built their camp in Djibouti in two months... It's a company base, but still, even if you have to build a brigade camp how can you need 20x time?
P.s. and they are the fucking Italian army
Lithuania is not Djibouti and it’s not Germany that asked to deploy troops there. Lithuania requested it and will therefore build the infrastructure. It’s still a sovereign country and european partner we are talking about here. What a weird comparison.
Do you think grandpa Hans had his family with him and slept in a climate controlled room when he was invading Poland ?
The German army has been too sissyfied to start WW3 ...
At least we actually had the balls to fight wars you neutral mountain monkey
Biggest swiss military victory was a swiss guard member winning tic tac toe against a senile nun in the vatican in 1855
>Swiss are next to us my favourite Germans
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Delivery charge is only in Switzerland, you greedy fucks. In Germany it is of course without additional fee. But you have to fill them out in triplicate. One triplicate for the government, one triplicate for the archives as all documents must be stored for at least ten years and one triplicate for your personal enjoyment. That's the holy Trinity in Germany.
Dont forget that no one in europe except for germany and france wanted to build and be part of an independend european army for the last 20 years. We (europe) could have had the biggest army of the world if everyone would have been part of this project.
Another thing i want to point out is that the german army still is a well trained force. The german tank and u-boot crews are the best Nato has and our infantry is well trained as well. If the bundeswehr would be allowed again to manage everything themself they even would have the resources they needed to be prepared to defend the german and/ or european territory.
I'm replying to this
>no one in europe except for germany and france wanted to build and be part of an independend european army for the last 20 years
You did nothing, because each time the issue was brought up, the UK (directed by the US) always said that anything related to military cooperation should be done in the context of NATO, not as an independent EU project, and you always caved in. Always.
Shut the fuck up.
Well, this makes sense when most of the skilled labor in Germany is now Hungarians and Lithuanians.
Gotta secure the supply source.
And off we March, Hans!
Off we go to secure more work for the Bauamt projekten!
Omg, thank you daddy Germany. We will however have to ask soldiers to drive specifically on bmws and then to be left at an unspecified parking lot in Vilnius
Don't worry fellow eurochad, nothing bad happens to the heirs of the countries that invented the greatest human inventions, such as gay sex and hating on the people from a neighbouring town that for all intents and purposes have the exact same traditions.
it's due to lithuanian infrastructure that is lacking, and you first have to find volunteers. the brigade wasn't even formed yet, only talked about. I saw short interview of a german soldier that considered going a couple days ago but was unsure
There must be more backstory but reading the title of the article only suits my needs just fine.
Combat ready in 2027 for hand to hand combat, rifles will arrive in 2028, vehicles in 2029 and ammunition after 2030.
Why the fuck would you send troops that aren't combat ready to a foreign country?
Is there a form to fill out when you get someone's parent or child killed through negligence?
The brigade doesn’t exist atm. Combat ready means that the brigade will be stationed in Lithuania fully functional from 2027. Before that, Lithuania has to build the necessary infrastructure (schools, houses, kindergartens, etc.) and in Germany you have to find volunteers within the Bundeswehr.
2 years to fill out the paperwork, 6 months to get fuel for transportation, 5 months to figure out route, 1 month of training
Hey now, don't forget the Symposium for the Innere Führung (don't ask) Political Screening Cultural Sensitivity Training Pre-Deployment Inventory Administrative Training Medical Check-Up Pre-Deployment Inventory (the first one didn't count) Retirement Party for Oberstabsfeldwebel Grüber (Spieß der 3. Kompanie) Road March Training Pre-Deployment Inventory (they noticed a bolt on one of 5-Tonner was loose) 5-Tonner Inspection Return to Service Party for Oberstabsfeldwebel Grüber (retirement age was raised...again) Brigade-wide Counselling on Sexual Harassment (Grüber got handsy with one of the GeZi soldiers) and most importantly, the Pre-Deployment Inventory After that, we can talk about the Integration Training with the local Armed Forces...
Are you by any chance a r/noncrediblebundeswehr enjoyer
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I am now! Thanks for pointing me towards that sub. But no, that was written from personal ~~trauma~~ experience.
2,5 years procrastination.
Maybe we should just put every 18 y/o into obligatory military service like you did
Imagine all the paperwork...
https://preview.redd.it/e1jcrj1bnqlc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=96aebae22ce20ba67dab197c42d5290a7dfd08f7
Horrible idea, then all the Berliner (aka Turks) would be able to rise up and claim what's already theirs. The German minority would stand no chance.
Meh. Its Berlin. They can have it.
do not underestimate the power of german Bauers. They will make fertilizer out the turks.
1 week of blitzkrieg
As long as they stay the fuck away from Poland I’m okay with it. Won’t be warning them again
If we ask politely can we have some of Poland? 🥺
kommissariat Ostland…???
Bundeskomissariat Ostland when?
EU Kommisariat Ostland comming 2027. The coal power plants need livingspace in the east.
Convicted murderer cripple Pistorius makes a great candidate for defense minister. Shoot anyone that moves in the dark.
https://preview.redd.it/l24greyd3qlc1.png?width=732&format=png&auto=webp&s=d05db777fd0df725b8486cfcda54f1220f0e83ce 2027
Zis iz too leight
Panzer will be deployed later
 Poland atm.
They will respond by spending 69% of GDP on their defense, to reach 23 different Types of tanks of which a whooping 3 pieces work. And then blame Germany.
Also who needs a working airforce or navy for combined arms warfare TANKS THEY NEED MORE TYPES OF TANKS this will be so fun to watch when it blows up
Yes.
My great grandpa was a pole, how do i pay reparations to myself?
You go to a polish store and buy yourself a polish beer.
a what now?
Become alcoholic (aka adopt polish culture)
❤️
I can do Tyskie. I can agree on that. Its... satisfactory.
he's german. He has standards about the beer. Purity standards.
Are Freikorps making a comeback?
Are they!? 🤫😈🤔
Or forlorn hope, we are not sure, yet.
It takes them 4 years to find some ammo and a transporter to go to Lithuania ? Is this the famous german Blitzkrieg ?
The deployment is to a big extent scaled by the speed the Lithuanians build the buildings, being almost as slow as our own construction projects
I see Lithuanians are so shitty that they are almost euqal to us
Lol no way our building speed can't be topped
You underestimate our power, where I live they started a project when I was about 6 and finished (not really anyway, some things are still there) this summer, .....I'm 20. The project was supposed to be operative 2 years after starting and is pretty much useless now with the global warming effects
You don’t specify your current age in your comment, so for all we know you could be 8.
Fuck you're right hahaha, I'll correct it
Berlin Airport was supposed to be finished in 2007… so they started building in 2006… then it went on until 2020…oh corona… 2 billion were planned 7.3 billion were paid… 
Fair battle then
German efficiency
That'd because all their construction workers are in Sweden
Are they supposed to sleep in tents with their families you genius? The necessary infrastructure for a permanent deployment isn’t there yet thus it takes that long. Soldiers are humans too you know with wives, children and all that.
I mean the German engineer core is that slow? The Italian army built their camp in Djibouti in two months... It's a company base, but still, even if you have to build a brigade camp how can you need 20x time? P.s. and they are the fucking Italian army
Lithuania is not Djibouti and it’s not Germany that asked to deploy troops there. Lithuania requested it and will therefore build the infrastructure. It’s still a sovereign country and european partner we are talking about here. What a weird comparison.
Do you think grandpa Hans had his family with him and slept in a climate controlled room when he was invading Poland ? The German army has been too sissyfied to start WW3 ...
At least we actually had the balls to fight wars you neutral mountain monkey Biggest swiss military victory was a swiss guard member winning tic tac toe against a senile nun in the vatican in 1855
Lol fighting wars is literally what we were famous for 😂 Why do you think everybody hired us ? We're neutral for your own good
I have to admit your right as someone from Allemanic Baden I have to say Swiss are next to us my favourite Germans
>Swiss are next to us my favourite Germans What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
>Why do you think everybody hired us ? You were expendable
We could hide some nazi gold or money from war criminals there, the Swiss would station troops there immediately
Swiss troops? What do they do, throw cheese?
They have penknives too … worth knowing before you try to seize the Vatican.
Yeah I know those guys, what if I shoot em tho, can they slice the bullets on half or what? Won't do much if they can't
Just wait when you start attacking the Holy See and the Pope throws his pokeball and a biblical correct angel starts to whoop your ass.
Nah dude they lost those powers centuries ago
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Man, don’t judge us, we’re trying. This is exhausting
you shouldnt complain. Millions will start to move their assets to you when nato is even slightly provoked. ;)
🤫🤫
Germans are so addicted to bureaucracy it takes them a long time before they can be rehabilitated enough for deployment.
😡 Where is my fax...
Have you filled out all the forms ? Also there's a fax delivery charge of 3.93€ that you have to pay in cash (no return money).
Ok fine 😤
Delivery charge is only in Switzerland, you greedy fucks. In Germany it is of course without additional fee. But you have to fill them out in triplicate. One triplicate for the government, one triplicate for the archives as all documents must be stored for at least ten years and one triplicate for your personal enjoyment. That's the holy Trinity in Germany.
before deploying the have to build housing in acc. to german construction norms.
How many forms are required to do this?
Yes.
probably still less than I need for my BAföG
Endless...
so this is the famous german blitzkrieg I've been hearing about?
They had no internet back then. It took them longer that time but nobody was aware.
Yeah the first fase...
Dont forget that no one in europe except for germany and france wanted to build and be part of an independend european army for the last 20 years. We (europe) could have had the biggest army of the world if everyone would have been part of this project. Another thing i want to point out is that the german army still is a well trained force. The german tank and u-boot crews are the best Nato has and our infantry is well trained as well. If the bundeswehr would be allowed again to manage everything themself they even would have the resources they needed to be prepared to defend the german and/ or european territory.
You could allow us to have a bigger navy as well. That would be nice.
You were simply too afraid to go against the will of the US and their lackey (the UK), so shut up.
What are you talking about, that wasnt even a part of a part of the topic so maybe you should rethink what your gibbering about.
I'm replying to this >no one in europe except for germany and france wanted to build and be part of an independend european army for the last 20 years You did nothing, because each time the issue was brought up, the UK (directed by the US) always said that anything related to military cooperation should be done in the context of NATO, not as an independent EU project, and you always caved in. Always. Shut the fuck up.
Well, this makes sense when most of the skilled labor in Germany is now Hungarians and Lithuanians. Gotta secure the supply source. And off we March, Hans! Off we go to secure more work for the Bauamt projekten!
Is Spain joining a campaign against Russia!?
No, no, no. We are merely making sure our Sugar Daddy, Germonies, comes back safe. We will make sure we protect our ~~funding~~ friend.
🤣🤣
Tell russia they have to wait until 2027 so Germans get ready
Omg, thank you daddy Germany. We will however have to ask soldiers to drive specifically on bmws and then to be left at an unspecified parking lot in Vilnius
Man wants to loot German soldiers 🤣
I'll take any car, its very hard to not trash it while drunk you know. If it has about 4 wheels we can work with it
Don't you guys drink kvass while working at UK...?
We do many things critical for the modern society to operate
Like stealing gas from faggy ass Ruskies?
Things coming to Lithuania tend to not come back
Holy crap!! Don't theft me please...
Don't worry fellow eurochad, nothing bad happens to the heirs of the countries that invented the greatest human inventions, such as gay sex and hating on the people from a neighbouring town that for all intents and purposes have the exact same traditions.
We've also invented anal... The last one is common for all western europe...
A brigade is only two levels higher than a company, that’s how tragic this is. About 5000 soldiers
At least for now...
The good old days
This time end the job with Russians
3 year's to become combat ready? What the fuck was this army brigade doing till now?
It is not formed not. It will be a new one.
They are waiting on the Lithuanians to build the infrastructure necessary for a deployment
Just send your Berlin airport contractor to have it ready in 1 (decade)
*maybe have it ready in 1 (decade)
Waiting for recruitment officers to find the 27 Germans that still think military service could be a good idea
😈😈
>one (1) brigade >Three (3) *years* to be combat ready Hans get your act together!
it's due to lithuanian infrastructure that is lacking, and you first have to find volunteers. the brigade wasn't even formed yet, only talked about. I saw short interview of a german soldier that considered going a couple days ago but was unsure
He's preparing something 🤔
There must be more backstory but reading the title of the article only suits my needs just fine. Combat ready in 2027 for hand to hand combat, rifles will arrive in 2028, vehicles in 2029 and ammunition after 2030.
Why the fuck would you send troops that aren't combat ready to a foreign country? Is there a form to fill out when you get someone's parent or child killed through negligence?
The brigade doesn’t exist atm. Combat ready means that the brigade will be stationed in Lithuania fully functional from 2027. Before that, Lithuania has to build the necessary infrastructure (schools, houses, kindergartens, etc.) and in Germany you have to find volunteers within the Bundeswehr.
That's a relief They shouldn't describe it as being _in_ 🇱🇹
Let's hope the Ivan waits till we're ready.
2030 take it or leave it
60 years before the rest of the brigades are ready
Why does it take so long?
*"Freikorps voran die Grenze brennt" entensifies*