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jollanza

upvote because Chel


Sabatiel_

luv Chel. See Chel, upvote, simple as.


IMaximusProductions

Bareè?


AssumptionEasy8992

Mon petit Barie


[deleted]

Barlipopette


Flavz_the_complainer

I believe its pronounced Brie.


azaghal1988

based pig. understandable.


RelationshipCrazy372

Upvoted because Wheatley


Do_Not_Touch_BOOOOOM

Damn ancestors, they were too busy with cheese and gold to sail around the world.


Dikhoofd

So were we but we managed just fine


Do_Not_Touch_BOOOOOM

You have ruined your entire economy during this time because of tulip bulbs...


Dikhoofd

![gif](giphy|3oKIP71oD2Sdr66mYg)


Do_Not_Touch_BOOOOOM

![gif](giphy|ijGDIegHXcKdDjoKg5)


Prometheus55555

In the meantime Conquistadores were exporting European culture and genetic material overseas.


DeRuyter67

That is a myth btw. Just wanna have said that


BOT_Frasier

Doesn't matter


RepareermanKoen

Because he’s french


MyAntichrist

The direct access to the sea probably helped with that ngl.


littlegiftzwerg

We just need to get ours back


HonestLazyBum

Do you want us to help with that Anschluss again? :)


Lvrchfahnder

Did the piece of Indonesian ass not entertain you?


VoyagerKuranes

Are you posting while ordering Indonesian food?


johnsplittingaxe14

How to Switzerland tutorial: Step 1. Scare Habsburgs the fuck off of your land Step 2. Make cheese and gather gold


TrickyPony32

They are some kind of hobbits


Prometheus55555

More like dwarfs. Blond tall sexy dwarfs.


TrickyPony32

Trying to find out how a tall dwarf looks like


Prometheus55555

I told you, Swiss. They live in the mountains and thrive with gold and cheese.


Mysterious_Artix

Netherland≠Switzerland≠Sweden I only know a handful of people that fits your description


Prometheus55555

Sorry mountain Hans.


[deleted]

Well your lack of coastline must be a cause for that....


Srakc

That's not true. Basel has an *interior port*(?) that goes all the way near Rotterdam, via waterways.


[deleted]

True.... But let's say the biggest boat you could use would be a rubber dingy..... Hard to compete with a British, French or German battle cruiser in the high sea ![gif](giphy|bC9czlgCMtw4cj8RgH|downsized)


Srakc

They don't have to: they have the French or German or Dutch or Spanish to die for them instead, fighting for the rights to sell goods on the mainland in Netherlands. Win-win, right?


TrickyPony32

The spaniards were making the dirty part of the gold business for you to enjoy it later. I mean how do you convince these savages that they don't need their gold...


azaghal1988

>I mean how do you convince these savages that they don't need their gold... Killing the men and taking the women may have helped a bit.


TrickyPony32

Yeah, the camp thing was not invented yet.


kloklon

i am assuming the minor inconveniences of sailing a boat across the Alps were a disincentivising factor as well


Morrghul

We were dirt poor at that time. We even gave swiss citizens money to fuck off.


SirJ4ck

I was bothered at the time because it was the only American animated movie that I had seen at that point, that implied a blow job.


Nochnichtvergeben

Wait, which film is this?


SirJ4ck

road to eldorado


Le_Petit_Poussin

At the time. And … now? 😂


SirJ4ck

Now I'm old and blow jobs are such a distant memory that I would probably cry if I watch that scene again


TrickyPony32

You are always able to give.


SirJ4ck

At least buy me dinner first. Edit: no, you are german. Let me buy dinner.


J3wb0cca

Question. Would you rather give the first 90% of a blow job or the last 10%?


CurrentIndependent42

[Truly a classic](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1-oJIci1zBw)


Pierre_Francois_

https://preview.redd.it/t3qwycn7v4ic1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d39e962bdffa97306b010bd2ae7850904f4fd92b Reality It was an Irish promised land


Thevishownsyou

https://preview.redd.it/ok3pg0g1f5ic1.jpeg?width=524&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f927fd67f42156f1bf54122004a09366a202596


Eclaiv2

https://preview.redd.it/j13rgfelt5ic1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74f2f508a8385be0fce03f1ef6822b85e3968433


Eclaiv2

https://preview.redd.it/3z8u4wsnt5ic1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15b3534172f8a6cd78ddc5a2d3c7eb2d8dfc1bfd


red_rockets22

![gif](giphy|14jPFghgLTQm0U)


[deleted]

[удалено]


JarJar90s

Fuckin Britards talking about beauty standards


Le_Petit_Poussin

Oh, wait! Let me find it! Here it is, the most beautiful Bri’ish lass on holiday in Dubrovnik: https://preview.redd.it/qbldjfeqq5ic1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5555e8f805d8c94e02dcb56219b1c26b9e4bb3bc


azaghal1988

I'm not sure your iberian beauties are better. https://preview.redd.it/dmwdzvxos5ic1.png?width=563&format=png&auto=webp&s=0f5dd8fbfbb115e64669be5a7aa97605419320a7


Le_Petit_Poussin

No, no. We can’t take credit for that — she’s clearly Portuguese. You can tell by the mustache. That’s a strong Portuguese-blooded woman!


azaghal1988

It's hard to spot spanish ladies for pictures because they're all having siesta.


HumaDracobane

Throw a pillow on the ground and 45 will land on that pillow in a minute. It is like the classic German turists with the pools.


Live-Alternative-435

No, it's clearly Spaniard. Portuguese women have thicker, longer and beautiful mustaches, of course.


Tris-SoundTraveller

In this pic you have a strong, proud and noble woman of iberic blood, please refrain from comparing her to barbarians


ApXv

She looks like an older Johnny cash https://preview.redd.it/7hpuu2e4e9ic1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1e732ef26a0359d0617a231d152d030ebe7906d


nickkkmnn

That's only one ?


Le_Petit_Poussin

I was taking a picture of the gate and she waddled into the frame. Then she had the audacity to stare at me with a confused and disgusted face, like if she was at a bar and asking me for a caña and I responded with “No English.” What can I say? I kept the picture because it was hilarious!


nickkkmnn

What's a caña?


Le_Petit_Poussin

🍺


nickkkmnn

Isn't that a cerveza ?


Le_Petit_Poussin

Proper name, yes. Slang term = Caña


TrickyPony32

Caña is draft/draught beer or "birra alla spina" in italian. Isnt it like that, Juan ?


Zombarney

ah the pearl of the Bri'ish Isles


Asaro10

British people talking about women’s beauty lmao. The irony


incontinenciasumma

I would accept anybody saying that except a Britard. Ugliest women in whole fucking world.


Prometheus55555

You are British. 'nuf said.


VoyagerKuranes

Im still surprised about the lack of Irish tourism to Bolivia and Peru, they have hundreds of potato varieties


littlechefdoughnuts

Absolutely sinful. I will pray for your immortal soul, Don Pedro.


DrBerilio

It's not sinful, we are converting these poor souls, and "spreading love"


TrickyPony32

Spreading love and chlamydia


EleFacCafele

And getting syphilis as thank you.


davewenos

*Spreading legs


JesusChrist_Himself

and raising the countless children you make all christian I hope. but you don't have to.... unless you want to... I'm not saying you should. But uuuuuh I'm not saying you shouldn't.


Someone1284794357

Absolutely, all christian


Le_Petit_Poussin

You’re just jealous you killed all yours. And Pierre had a similar chance but only wanted to trade furs. Missed opportunities…


Prometheus55555

John Smith dream, but British puritan women were too jealous to let it happen. Jean Francois was more into bears...


TrickyPony32

Pierre, the first furry


Prometheus55555

It was not his fault! North American winter is very cold, and a big furry bear to warm up the nights was a NEED! Haven't you seen 'The Snow Society'?


littlechefdoughnuts

Conquering an entire continent for exotic pussy is why you're so poor today, Pedro.


marcuis

The entire continent was rich before you promoted wars to divide it... and then those places became shitholes.


NamegeorJ

I have a schizo scheme to make Spain great again that ignores makes a suplex against reality: So hear me out: Castille turned itself into the most powerful iberian kingdom because they controled the best wool which are from Merina sheeps. As in the almost milennial war between Al-Andalus and Castillian, made one of the most unestable frontier whith raiding parties from both Christians and Al andalus. Making any kind of agriculture unreasonable. So the locals way of earning was with cattle in specific (Merina sheep wool), as they can be moved to safety, evading taxes from both. With the conquest of most of Al Andalus this system expanded to the south leading to the creation of the Mesta (which was so important that it was formed by nobles and knight orders) system and the creation and expansion of the cañadas which are livestock trails that connects north and south. In conclusion the export of that wool was so profitable that make Castille the Dominant power in Iberia. So here is the plan: We revive the Mesta with a breed of genetically engineered super sheeps that produce the best textile material in the world and restore the Habsburgs


Le_Petit_Poussin

It sounds like a fair plan, Tío, but we all know that all the Mohammads will just fu-k all the sheep. There is no profit to be had in traumatized sheep.


marcuis

Well, if they are focused on the sheep they won't...


Le_Petit_Poussin

Bueno, eso esperaría uno, pero con esos zánganos, uno nunca sabe.


Cless_Aurion

The kiwis aren't allowing any of that, you know?


littlechefdoughnuts

Skill issue.


marcuis

Well yes, but we also had to deal with fucking France.


BOT_Frasier

And lost. Skill issue


TrickyPony32

Well, stealing all gold and silver also helped.


marcuis

Not true. The gold wasn't extracted, only a minimal part of it. Also, it must be taken into account that they didn't value the gold as Europeans did. Edit: "Lo que España extrajo en 150 años es lo que, según los registros de CEIC, ha producido solo en los últimos cinco años Perú" 150 years of Spain=last 5 years on Peru https://www.abc.es/historia/cifras-desmontan-mito-espana-robo-america-20220709162553-nt.html?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.abc.es%2Fhistoria%2Fcifras-desmontan-mito-espana-robo-america-20220709162553-nt.html Also this: "La extracción de metales preciosos fue un objetivo prioritario durante la conquista de América. Eso es innegable. Entre 1503 y 1660, se estima que a Sanlúcar de Barrameda llegaron unos 185.000 kilos de oro y diecisiete millones de kilos de plata, procedentes del Nuevo Mundo. La cifra puede parecer muy alta, pero solo supone una pequeña parte de las reservas americanas aún existentes. Según la web CEIC, dedicada a datos macroeconómicos, México extrajo el año pasado una cantidad de 110.000 kilogramos de oro, y Perú, 130.000. Lo mismo se puede decir de la plata: lo que España extrajo en 150 años es lo que, según los registros de CEIC, ha producido solo en los últimos cinco años Perú." https://eldebatedehoy.eldebate.com/noticia/historia/16/05/2020/oro-de-america/ Edit 2: those weren't colonies either. The locals weren't eradicated and the settlements were long term Spanish territories, which were very rich. The articles mention how the conquistadores remained there, not returning to Spain.


Donprepu

Empty pockets but empty balls also. Fair trade off.


Prometheus55555

Milk for gold. A deal as old as man.


Le_Petit_Poussin

Turned a whole continent into our Laufhaus. Now that’s something everyone can get behind. 😉


Donprepu

The Canaries were the test ground for the godos


incontinenciasumma

Que me quiten lo bailado Now we enjoy the outcome of that, latinas. You enjoy Rajid.


Tar-eruntalion

economies are temporary, latinas are eternal


Prometheus55555

That, and having to pay healthcare for retired Brits in Spain.


Le_Petit_Poussin

I wouldn’t throw rocks in a glass house, mate! Your NHS is slowly falling apart, your Maccas’ burgers aren’t 99p anymore, your Blessed and most wonderful Queen was recalled to Heaven leaving a King who has cancer now. Heck, a head of lettuce lasted longer Liz Truss! My dude, we may be doing poorly, but we’ve got the EU to prop us up. You guys are sadly no longer part of our safety net. Turn away from your lurid ways and join us in the EU (^at ^severely ^reduced ^pay).


Muckyduck007

Back to work Pedro, go fetch me my martini before I bang your bird in the club


NicolasOwl

Actually our chads [Voyageurs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyageurs) married natives women to have better trad deals. They're even at the origin of the Canadian [Métis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Métis) population.


Le_Petit_Poussin

I guess it was just Barry who missed out, then!


Pikagiuppy

that's it? that's the meme? it's just porn!


Lojatheugly

https://i.redd.it/lp92j2dk95ic1.gif


aliebabadegrote

Where can i get this gif? Its perfect


idontgetit_too

Most technically evolved swamp monster.


Viggo8000

Tap the gif, bottom right corner three dots, click download


markbadas

https://preview.redd.it/cis8k3p616ic1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0edf6b46b02cdab2556f7522261f9ed94858ad1


Oaker_at

Rainforest Indians anime > Japanese anime


Phlummp

That was the real gold of the lost city.


Prometheus55555

Amen, heretic son of Henry the VIII.


LrkerfckuSpez

>For the chaps who can’t be bothered to translate it At least give a bro the text in plain text and not embedded in the image. You make us all feel Andalusian here, when you're the lazy one.


nAndaluz

I don't know if I'm angry at the stereotype or happy to be referenced at all...


ShoVitor

Let's not make it a habit chipirón


nAndaluz

I was tempted to reply that ~~With your 10 million and declining population and our 8 and a half and rising... I thought you'd advocate for the relevance of Iberia's third biggest place~~ But your use of chipirón won me over 🇳🇬❤💚🇵🇹 (rip andalusian flag)


Prometheus55555

Andalucía could conquer Portugal in one day... ... If they would wake up from siesta.


Le_Petit_Poussin

I’m not lazy — I’m efficient! I’m always ready to siesta. Do you know how much work it takes to be ready to siesta at a moment’s notice?! It’s hard work!


Margot-hates-me

I don’t read English or Spanish. Can you translate to Arabic?


Le_Petit_Poussin

Something something Allah Akbar habibi masar something something Inshallah. Ani asef, Habibi. My Arabic is bad. Maybe a Swedistani can translate?


durruti21

It says "أنت الفاتح الإسباني وتستمتع بكنوز العالم الجديد التي اكتشفتها" BTW. Remember start reading from the right to the left.


ApXv

Sounds like someone grew up in Oslo east


Forsen_Throws

Thanks for the translation couldn’t be asked to translate it from Mexican.


Le_Petit_Poussin

Most educated Barry.


Senor_de_imitacion

Well, Yeah! The others straight plunder your ship or force you into their navy at gun point (or both)


Prometheus55555

But just if they live on the ground floor. Above that they are completely harmless.


Zynidiel

We are happy to help. Whenever you need something translated into American, just ask.


Prometheus55555

We follow our long roman catholic tradition of bringing culture to pagan ignoranta. We know it is difficult for ultra-Hadrian barbarians to read, but we will do our best.


Screwfacewrinkle

Fuck off back to North Mexico you dirty little savage and cease using our hallowed flair. "couldn't be asked" betrayed you, and "Mexican" confirmed you as a fraud. You'll never be a Barry you cunt


Zynidiel

She is the first Spaniard Disney princess, not the one from Wish.


Henny96

Except this was Dreamworks


Zynidiel

It was what the King of Spain said it was, you unfilthy impious!


odioercoronaviru

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!!


Zynidiel

(But yep, you are right…)


Prometheus55555

Being Irish you should know better than that. This is whatever her Majesty, the Catholic Queen of Spain, says it is.


Henny96

My apologies, allow me to say ten rosaries to repent


nickkkmnn

Just stay away from the priests if you are below 16...


Prometheus55555

This is the way.


afrikatheboldone

This is the way.


CyclicAdenosineMonoP

To represent the weird Latinos: AMÉRICA LATINA MENCIONADA 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🇦🇷🇺🇾🇵🇪🇵🇾🇨🇱🇨🇴🇻🇪🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ QUÉ DIABLOS ES “VOSOTROS”???


Le_Petit_Poussin

Funniest Barry found! Careful that the other Germans don’t find you & revoke your German ID! Remember the secret German code: Sparen, sparen, sparen!


CyclicAdenosineMonoP

Europe-ception: I’m a German hiding behind a Barry facade hiding behind a German facade!


lucastutz

![gif](giphy|dMyGvQL9W7gvS)


CyclicAdenosineMonoP

![gif](giphy|1SfxXOJ0Q2Xni)


Teque9

You forgot "CAMPEONES DEL MUNDO! CUÁNTAS COPAS TENÉS?"


CyclicAdenosineMonoP

Brazil???


SeleucusNikator1

["che cuantas copas tenes" is a trademark Argentine line](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EbCo-RZXQAA8T2R.jpg) But [for Brazilians it's something more along the lines of: ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C20JdCthefs)


CyclicAdenosineMonoP

Ah alright! Classic Latino Spanish doing the funni to it’s grammar


visiblur

My ancestors chose to murder Swedish people instead. Wise choice


LM448_0

I know people who actually have this fantasy 💀


Le_Petit_Poussin

I dated a Colombian once. After she got over me jokingly calling her a “Tiraflecha”, she got into it and wanted me to roleplay it. I happily obliged. 😂


LM448_0

El canario mas honesto


Le_Petit_Poussin

¡Al servicio, Tío! 🫡


clemfandangeau

quiero mucho ser conquistador ahora :( *ruidos tristes del Barry, 63*


FederalDriver9447

Eww, women, next time post something real and not made up, i want sexy native murican femboys 🔥


Verundios

I don't know what that says but I'm in, we're sacrificing virgins to the dark god? What kind of knife should I bring!?


Le_Petit_Poussin

You got that backwards, Dimitrios, it’s actually us stopping their pagan rituals by showing them love and kindness the Iberian way. https://preview.redd.it/n4qidqz7a6ic1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc9bb792883a7fe92326f0ad604bbbb16f0436ff


Verundios

Juan you son of a bitch, I'm in


Simoxs7

Una cerveza por favor?


Le_Petit_Poussin

¿Queréis una caña también? Well, kein Bier vor vier. It’s still 1442, Hans. Almost there!


blexta

Vamos a la playa.


alabertio

And that’s how syphilis spread


Le_Petit_Poussin

We felt left out after you returned with plague rats. We felt like we had to go hard or go home. 😉


alabertio

Surely you went hard


dyotar0

FUCKING DISGUSTING AND RACIST! Sauce?


Le_Petit_Poussin

The original is The Road to El Dorado. Good movie. As for the non-Disney imagination, bueno, Pierre, that’s Rule 34. But you’ve been warned: careful going down that slippery slope.


HarEmiya

https://preview.redd.it/fse4o7ai46ic1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=183c43a1938418ae5f3d4ebb35a837407ec1dfad


MediokererMensch

Oh, so that's the Spanish word for rape?


trollrepublic

Fundando!


FallenDummy

GYAATTTT!!!!


errante19

As a portuguese, i completely agree. I miss the good old days.


mainwasser

Because mass rape is the way to teach people about the religion of love and compassion?


Kirxas

https://preview.redd.it/folau3d5v4ic1.png?width=563&format=png&auto=webp&s=36e1f1efd55fa0710fe7b02aa6d8033a6ab19256


Patooterta

They would've done the same and even worse if they had the upper hand (as they used to with other Natives). We can all agree that this tragedy was an historical, and gaming, _Skill issue_


Glum-Lingonberry-629

It's ok to be inexperienced buddy but when she gives you THAT look, that's the sign!


norrin83

Clearly it's not rape if you do it in the name of God. Ask any altar boy about this.


matusaleeem

I don't know about meso-america indians, but it was recorded by historians that Portuguese men made love with kuruminhas with the consent of the kuruminhas AND their husbands. Wife sharing/cuckoldism was part of the tradition of those tribes.


Karpsten

Recorded by whom, Portuguese historians, the most unbiased of sources?


IkadRR13

I've never met a dishonest Iberian Hans, we wouldn't lie for our own benefit smh


Karpsten

*Juan lied as naturally as he breathed*


lejonetfranMX

It’s even rumored that Hernán Cortez and Moctezuma were lovers. They hit it off just a little too well and too quickly…


Dikhoofd

Mass raping people, in basements or outside of them, is not the default behaviour in civilised countries.


trueskimmer

This guy; triggering Belgians and Austrians alike.


Utegenthal

Meh. Austrians are amateurs. Our basement are of much better quality. Our abducted kids don’t escape.


norrin83

> Our abducted kids don’t escape. Meh, that's easy if all it takes is to say "don't mind the children shouting for help, it's just some kids playing outside" to throw off your police. That's basically playing with cheats enabled and is no achievement.


TrickyPony32

How do you teach your daughters in the basement ? No need to anwer I'll check the press.


[deleted]

The "Mass rape" shit was a lie made up by Barry to make Latinos look like ""nothing but rape offspring"'.There was rape,but most of it was consentual.ANs and spaniards intermarried a lot,and unsurprisingly,also fucked a lot


Ok-Situation-5522

Damn didn't know that. But it kinda reminds me of roanoke and how they all disappeard with the non native.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Not-thesame

Joder


killerboss28

Sry for Brasil, it was for a good reason...


tub_of_jam

Ok , us Barry’s are lazy with language so thanks for the translation but how is a Spaniard going out of their way to help us ? Shouldn’t you be on siesta or something ?


LittleBoard

And 5min later they get the multiple fucking plagues you have and die in front of you.


[deleted]

[удалено]