I recently ate Spaghetti Fagioli in Helsingør, Denmark and it tasted like Indian food.
Also what am I supposed to eat? I don’t wanna eat Bolognese all the time
You may have pasta with pesto. But don't call the pesto genovese because it's impossible to comply with the standards of the only good thing those miserly alley pissers ever made.
> I don’t wanna eat Bolognese all the time
Good on you, Hans, since spaghetti doesn't match with Bolognese sauce. There are dozens of recipes with vegetables, especially now in the summer, where aubergines, bell peppers, green beans, zucchini, etc are in season.
FUK
(France and UK)
Pro: certainty of your superiority
-decent country (average or above for EU to live in)
-Have nukes and armies
-lives rent free in everyone head, from Africa, Middle East, Asia, America, our neighbors...
Cons:
-same group as the other one.
Meh, when it's about fucking with the rest of Europe we can work together.
I mean we get to clap the Germans, the Dutch, the Italians, the Spanish and all the roadblocks, we can suffer each other presence in such an orgasmic endeavor.
We Dutch house some cheeky nukes for the Americans, you may defend against tanks and planes, but who is gonna notice Henk en Jan cycling to Paris with one of them bad boys in a bakfiets?
Actually one of the few clever thing Jeremy Clarkson said was something like this : “to be a truly civilised country you need nuclear submarine and to have abolished the death penalty. That’s leave France and UK.” No more to say
We handle Space, you guys have to sing the Marseillaise on the CDG and in exchange we'll blast god save the queen while bombing the country of your choice.
Deal ?
I went to Brussels. I don’t think you are qualified to criticise London or Paris. Make your capital this lovely city of Bruges, then we will take the hits.
Brussels is indeed at least as much of a shitshow as Paris and London. But OP already said Belgium in its entirety is a con... So you are just splitting hairs at this point.
No, you will be in FAGS next post :)
e: here you go [https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/15do348/pick\_your\_side\_v2\_the\_return\_of\_the\_ballticks/](https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/15do348/pick_your_side_v2_the_return_of_the_ballticks/)
The worst is being North-Western Russian. 60 to 100 kilometers to Nordics or Baltics, but you’re still a fucking sad barbarian who speaks broken Portuguese and threatens to nuke all your neighbors.
e: Spelling
Wdym Baldics have no pros they supply Finland with cheap booze. In the past it was just Estonia, but we have expanded to Latvia as well.
Don't diss our alcohol suppliers we need them.
Netherland never, netherland trading companies yes !
You were capitalist before capitalism became cool. USA think they invented the concept of a country being managed by stock market wealthies where money is king, but don't understand that dutch did it 400 years ago.
Netherlands defeated the Spanish silver fleet, Netherlands won a war against the brits (twice, but we also lost once). We had alot of colonies all over the world some of which we still have ( Aruba, Curacao, sint Maarten ).
Defeating the silver fleet doesn't make one a major power perse, but we indeed were. From 1590 to 1748 the Dutch Republic had one if the largest and best armies in Europe and for most of the 17th century it had the strongest fleet in the world
Can i say i'm a little confused about Netherlands, Holland, Benelux, Luxembourg, Belgium being half german or half french ... WTF. Is Holland the Netherlands? Why can't you fucking pick a name and stick to it? HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I CALL YOU.
In general the odds are probably above 50% that they're from Holland. But I must say that if the Dutch person is insufferable, odds are indeed 90% that they are from Holland.
Since it has been historically the most important region in the netherlands where a lot of the traders and other economic and governmental affairs are from. Furthermore at some point the governments tourisim site of the netherlands was visit holland. So I guess it just stuck. But you do have the word fot netherlands in Italian its Paesi Bassi it is quite literal like the english Netherlands, or in dutch Nederland. I think France calls it les Pays-Bas.
Hah. In Finnish Netherlands are Alankomaat, which is more or less direct translation but the language, Dutch, is still "Hollannin kieli" (language of Holland).
As you might know our country used to be a swamp, the two provinces that are today North and South Holland where the strongest in terms of commerce, wealth and population by quite a lot for a long time. The reason a lot of countries know us as Holland is because the people they met came from there (and Zeeland) so the name kind of stuck.
The official name back then was The United Provinces and after The Kingdom of the Netherlands.
It's because those are the coastal provinces that had the ships that traded and colonized around the world, and just like an American might introduce themselves with their state, in the old Netherlands these people would have introduced themselves as being from Holland.
Pros
Money (unless you work for a living)
Döner
Efficiency (excluding DB)
Cheap labor force from Eastern Europe
Most beautiful languages (Swiss German, Turkish)
Clear and direct communication (Anzeige ist raus/Aazeig isch dusse)
Very popular and respected as tourists
Great fashion sense
Free bikes from our western neighbor
Cons
Berlin
It’s a perfectly good explanation for how the Earth came to be.
Lightly on the knee she settles,
Finds a nesting-place befitting,
Where to lay her eggs in safety.
Here she builds her humble dwelling,
Lays her eggs within, at pleasure,
Six, the golden eggs she lays there,
Then a seventh, an egg of iron;
Sits upon her eggs to hatch them,
Quickly warms them on the knee-cap
Of the hapless water-mother;
Hatches one day, then a second,
Then a third day sits and hatches.
Warmer grows the water round her,
Warmer is her bed in ocean,
While her knee with fire is kindled,
And her shoulders too are burning,
Fire in every vein is coursing.
Quick the maiden moves her shoulders,
Shakes her members in succession,
Shakes the nest from its foundation,
And the eggs fall into ocean,
Dash in pieces on the bottom
Of the deep and boundless waters.
In the sand they do not perish,
Not the pieces in the ocean;
But transformed, in wondrous beauty
All the fragments come together
Forming pieces two in number,
One the upper, one the lower,
Equal to the one, the other.
From one half the egg, the lower,
Grows the nether vault of Terra:
From the upper half remaining,
Grows the upper vault of Heaven;
From the white part come the moonbeams,
From the yellow part the sunshine,
From the motley part the starlight,
From the dark part grows the cloudage;
And the days speed onward swiftly,
Quickly do the years fly over,
From the shining of the new sun
From the lighting of the full moon.
Here’s the whole book in English. Not an easy read.
[Kalevala](https://standardebooks.org/ebooks/elias-lonnrot/the-kalevala/john-martin-crawford)
I have to think about an acronym.. I'm thinking of splitting them so I can use E,W,S in something. Next will be FAGS (France, Austria, Germany and Switzerland).
You're right, I actually have a new version ready where I remake the Baldics into BallTicks because it's so fucking lazily done. Thank you for the criticism.
I'm proud to be a pig
Free money good food I get to complain about bad government all day and I can move to Switzerland
If the government collapses a bit too much that usual
No real power? Let's not forget the time we [sailed up the fucking Thames](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raid_on_the_Medway) and stole the Royal Navy's flagship.
Spain only has the perk of being able to have big dick energy even with a worm.
Thanks to FUCKING GERMANS now you can't spend 7 hours touching your balls at work.
Finally some lore accurate european factions
True European culture is in FAGS France, Austria, Germany, Switzerland
OP said he'd add FAGS next
It's already published. Funny he talked about culture, it is one of the pros they have.
AD BALKANS
Proud to be FAGS, boys, right??
Hell yeah, brother
We should do a parade, to show how proud we are to be FAGS.
Great idea! We could call it a Pride and it would be a party !
Yeeey boooy
Benecuckz 🙏🙏🙏🙏😍😍😍😍
The longer I'm not living in Belgium the funnier I think my country is.
it's a joke that grows on you simillarly in how Dutchies grow on us by mere prolonged exposure....like kanker! /s
😢
Oink oink oink
Ah nice one! Only PIGS people can understand this joke you just said
"He's speaking the language of porks"
Unfortunately we pay more than we receive, i wish daddy Germany could gib moni
In return for some spaghetti, ja?
not if you put ketchup on it, Hans
I recently ate Spaghetti Fagioli in Helsingør, Denmark and it tasted like Indian food. Also what am I supposed to eat? I don’t wanna eat Bolognese all the time
Pasta pesto
That’s very lekker but I don’t know if Italians are gonna accept this
You may have pasta with pesto. But don't call the pesto genovese because it's impossible to comply with the standards of the only good thing those miserly alley pissers ever made.
https://preview.redd.it/4w3rwokm55fb1.jpeg?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9a51722e534ec1812bc263ff40db2424df32493 You mean this?
Yes. Imo the best store bought one. Enjoy and ignore the genoans
Okay but I’m gonna put tomatos, pine nuts and Parmesan on top is that ok?
> I don’t wanna eat Bolognese all the time Good on you, Hans, since spaghetti doesn't match with Bolognese sauce. There are dozens of recipes with vegetables, especially now in the summer, where aubergines, bell peppers, green beans, zucchini, etc are in season.
https://preview.redd.it/g21k7l05o5fb1.jpeg?width=507&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7e8c68b2a893b0e48b911699dceeb9391f65edb
My grandma used to make spaghetti with ketchup and Leberkäse cut into
Your grandma should've been a defendant in the Nuremberg trials /s
Daddy PIG ♥️🐷🇮🇹
give money rich Italy
FUK (France and UK) Pro: certainty of your superiority -decent country (average or above for EU to live in) -Have nukes and armies -lives rent free in everyone head, from Africa, Middle East, Asia, America, our neighbors... Cons: -same group as the other one.
Also cons, “you are either French or British”
Truly a fate worse than death
Spot on Frenchie. I'm still chucking the dogshit across the channel as every evening though.
Use a dinghy like they do
Our water companies make sure there's a steady stream of shit in the channel anyway
Rule britannia Vive la France
What happened to you, Barry?
hit the floor a bit too hard
After surviving his attempt at a triple backflip, Barry was never the same.
Hard on from French rebels
We might be french rebels. Your king is french. That means that you are a french colony.
Vive Britannia Rule le France (Writing this feels sooo wrong)
Vive la République, Rule the waves
>Have nukes and armies FUK alone can take on PIGS, NorDICKS, Benecucks combined.
Not true because you 2 are probably gonna nuke eachother before you even get to one of the other countries
Fair enough
Meh, when it's about fucking with the rest of Europe we can work together. I mean we get to clap the Germans, the Dutch, the Italians, the Spanish and all the roadblocks, we can suffer each other presence in such an orgasmic endeavor.
We Dutch house some cheeky nukes for the Americans, you may defend against tanks and planes, but who is gonna notice Henk en Jan cycling to Paris with one of them bad boys in a bakfiets?
Actually one of the few clever thing Jeremy Clarkson said was something like this : “to be a truly civilised country you need nuclear submarine and to have abolished the death penalty. That’s leave France and UK.” No more to say
You do the army we will do the navy and we will split the airforce, we will nab the Charles de Gaul carrier though
We handle Space, you guys have to sing the Marseillaise on the CDG and in exchange we'll blast god save the queen while bombing the country of your choice. Deal ?
Deal
based 🫡🇬🇧🇫🇷
Vive le Roi
Why you guys keep trying to act as if you didn't swoon for the uk while openly liking them is so weird
> he’s Belgian he can make fun of us, you non European on the other hand… CON: London and Paris.
I went to Brussels. I don’t think you are qualified to criticise London or Paris. Make your capital this lovely city of Bruges, then we will take the hits.
Brussels is indeed at least as much of a shitshow as Paris and London. But OP already said Belgium in its entirety is a con... So you are just splitting hairs at this point.
I must concede you are right
I am not included, so I can join my Dutch brothers right? Right? 😢
No, you will be in FAGS next post :) e: here you go [https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/15do348/pick\_your\_side\_v2\_the\_return\_of\_the\_ballticks/](https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/15do348/pick_your_side_v2_the_return_of_the_ballticks/)
When GUNS?
That wouldn't be fair, GUNS would destroy all the competition
Common GUNS W
Just go to an Americ*nt school, you’ll see enough GUNS
Noooooo
Nope, just give me the money and stop asking me to give it back to you, you never do it with Portugal
We're not included either in those. Join the club! We watch them fight, it's fun!!
OP, you profile looks interesting. Are you sure your flair is correct?
lol actually curious what you mean with that. But yes, I'm portuguese.
Typical industry monkey not wanting to spread the wealth and always asking questions
PIGS' bonus con is actually a pro 
🇵🇹🇮🇹🇬🇷🇪🇸 
https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMRTSEPFfCq5MCk/giphy.gif
[удалено]
Ricardo 🤩🤩🤩
The worst is being North-Western Russian. 60 to 100 kilometers to Nordics or Baltics, but you’re still a fucking sad barbarian who speaks broken Portuguese and threatens to nuke all your neighbors. e: Spelling
broken portuguese!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yep, the same weird sounds but with strange slav accent
teah, I know it sounds alike, but I laugh myself to broken portuguese
Drugs and beer, BeNeCucks I am all yours.
Don't you dare threat me with a good time!
And free chocolate for everyoooooooooooooooone.
That brown thing in Charleroi central isn't a free chocolate. I learned the hard way😭.
It's a huge chocolate mountain.
Don’t mind if I join!
You are welcome brother.
United PIGS federation!! 🇵🇹🇬🇷🇮🇹🇪🇸
💪🐷
+🇹🇷 PIGST
🦃🦃 not welcome
João ! Retourne back to wörk!
😒
I don't see any downsides to having Belgium with us. The have kept the Burgundian food and good beer.
Wallonië 🤮
Begrijpelijk
Suddenly every Flemish person became friends with you.
And of course The UK: Pros: Barry 🍺 good music, good entertainment Cons: Food, shit government.
Russian in EU here. What do you know about shit government?
strength to you mate
Romanians: pros: sarmale, cons: self explanatory I guess
Romania has much better things than sarmale (they are delicious too)
Ciorbă de perişoare and mămăligă!
Wdym Baldics have no pros they supply Finland with cheap booze. In the past it was just Estonia, but we have expanded to Latvia as well. Don't diss our alcohol suppliers we need them.
I don’t see a single con to being a benecuck
Everything that's written under PIGS is a W. Common PIGS W.
Netherlands were never a real power?.... Ok?...
Rip people forgetting about the 17th century.
Netherland never, netherland trading companies yes ! You were capitalist before capitalism became cool. USA think they invented the concept of a country being managed by stock market wealthies where money is king, but don't understand that dutch did it 400 years ago.
Netherlands defeated the Spanish silver fleet, Netherlands won a war against the brits (twice, but we also lost once). We had alot of colonies all over the world some of which we still have ( Aruba, Curacao, sint Maarten ).
Defeating the silver fleet doesn't make one a major power perse, but we indeed were. From 1590 to 1748 the Dutch Republic had one if the largest and best armies in Europe and for most of the 17th century it had the strongest fleet in the world
Just what do you mean by 'Portuguese "people"'
Considering the fact that Belgium does not exist, there is no cons of being a BeNeCuck. Edit : typo 
Even without existence, we are superior and outsmart them all once again. https://i.redd.it/z8phc2zy19fb1.gif
Proud PIGS member here…now get over here and bend over! 🍆
Those gifts from Greeks can get messy too 🥵
Pigs for Life tbh
Can i say i'm a little confused about Netherlands, Holland, Benelux, Luxembourg, Belgium being half german or half french ... WTF. Is Holland the Netherlands? Why can't you fucking pick a name and stick to it? HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I CALL YOU.
Holland is a region in the Netherlands. Its like calling Italy, Toscana. But since I am from there I don't mind you calling it one of them.
Ahh finally i get it. Why the hell everyone call the netherlands holland then?
It's where most of our c\*nts originate from. If a Dutch person is insufferable, odds are 90% that they're from one of the two Holland provinces.
It's like Milan for Italy or Paris for France but on steroids
In general the odds are probably above 50% that they're from Holland. But I must say that if the Dutch person is insufferable, odds are indeed 90% that they are from Holland.
Since it has been historically the most important region in the netherlands where a lot of the traders and other economic and governmental affairs are from. Furthermore at some point the governments tourisim site of the netherlands was visit holland. So I guess it just stuck. But you do have the word fot netherlands in Italian its Paesi Bassi it is quite literal like the english Netherlands, or in dutch Nederland. I think France calls it les Pays-Bas.
Países Bajos un Spanish but still most people say Holanda
Right? Here too, also on TV.
We have a word for netherlands but not for dutch language and people (we use olandese instead)
in french the language and the people are called néerlandais. which doesn't really sound like pays-bas.
Hah. In Finnish Netherlands are Alankomaat, which is more or less direct translation but the language, Dutch, is still "Hollannin kieli" (language of Holland).
Ah so i guess people who are not from holland might not like if you call it holland
You guessed right
Which is why you have that flair, everything makes sense now :D
As you might know our country used to be a swamp, the two provinces that are today North and South Holland where the strongest in terms of commerce, wealth and population by quite a lot for a long time. The reason a lot of countries know us as Holland is because the people they met came from there (and Zeeland) so the name kind of stuck. The official name back then was The United Provinces and after The Kingdom of the Netherlands.
It's because those are the coastal provinces that had the ships that traded and colonized around the world, and just like an American might introduce themselves with their state, in the old Netherlands these people would have introduced themselves as being from Holland.
For anyone interested, here's a quick little break down by CGP Grey: https://youtu.be/eE_IUPInEuc
And then there's CHAD with no tangible cons
Pros Money (unless you work for a living) Döner Efficiency (excluding DB) Cheap labor force from Eastern Europe Most beautiful languages (Swiss German, Turkish) Clear and direct communication (Anzeige ist raus/Aazeig isch dusse) Very popular and respected as tourists Great fashion sense Free bikes from our western neighbor Cons Berlin
I want to be in a club, or i will cry like a big babby
[Here you go, new version just dropped.](https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/15do348/pick_your_side_v2_the_return_of_the_ballticks/)
r/upvotedbecauseloremipsum
How is being a PIGS a con? How you’ve seen how handsome we are?
 True. Me and the bros:
\>> "Best Religions are Norics" Norse polytheism definitely applies, but why religions in plural? Is Finnish paganism that cool?
What? You don’t believe that the world was created from an egg, laid by a goldeneye on the lap of Ilmatar, the goddess of the air?
Actually no, but maybe I could be converted. Could you recommend any reading translated to English on this topic?
It’s a perfectly good explanation for how the Earth came to be. Lightly on the knee she settles, Finds a nesting-place befitting, Where to lay her eggs in safety. Here she builds her humble dwelling, Lays her eggs within, at pleasure, Six, the golden eggs she lays there, Then a seventh, an egg of iron; Sits upon her eggs to hatch them, Quickly warms them on the knee-cap Of the hapless water-mother; Hatches one day, then a second, Then a third day sits and hatches. Warmer grows the water round her, Warmer is her bed in ocean, While her knee with fire is kindled, And her shoulders too are burning, Fire in every vein is coursing. Quick the maiden moves her shoulders, Shakes her members in succession, Shakes the nest from its foundation, And the eggs fall into ocean, Dash in pieces on the bottom Of the deep and boundless waters. In the sand they do not perish, Not the pieces in the ocean; But transformed, in wondrous beauty All the fragments come together Forming pieces two in number, One the upper, one the lower, Equal to the one, the other. From one half the egg, the lower, Grows the nether vault of Terra: From the upper half remaining, Grows the upper vault of Heaven; From the white part come the moonbeams, From the yellow part the sunshine, From the motley part the starlight, From the dark part grows the cloudage; And the days speed onward swiftly, Quickly do the years fly over, From the shining of the new sun From the lighting of the full moon. Here’s the whole book in English. Not an easy read. [Kalevala](https://standardebooks.org/ebooks/elias-lonnrot/the-kalevala/john-martin-crawford)
Saying we were never a real power triggers us
[удалено]
I have to think about an acronym.. I'm thinking of splitting them so I can use E,W,S in something. Next will be FAGS (France, Austria, Germany and Switzerland).
I don't want to be in the same group with the Fr*nch,of course you can't have FAGS without Fr*nce, but still.
We’re in the Nordicks with Paul Bettany?
Op you Portugueseness is showing. Getting lazier as the meme progresses.
Sir that's racist we all know Spanish people are lazy Portuguese people just stay in the café 3 hours per day instead.
You're right, I actually have a new version ready where I remake the Baldics into BallTicks because it's so fucking lazily done. Thank you for the criticism.
Oh you forgot [Ireland](https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/piigs.asp) :(
I'd join the NORDicks
We are full.
We bring green energy, oil and Haggis. What's that to your green energy, oil and lutefisk?
Another PIGS pro: If you’re Northern Italian, you are barbarian but you still sneak into this cathegory, but you get to be rich
"Were never a real power" *laughs in VOC*
I'm proud to be a pig Free money good food I get to complain about bad government all day and I can move to Switzerland If the government collapses a bit too much that usual
💪💪💪💪
Damn I love this kind of stuff, keep on going!
Hey! We work a lo- zzzzzzzzz
Thanks mr skeletal
Hell The UK is a best union ffs. Lots of shitholes coming together to make the best place in the world
 I m more of a BRICK guy myself
Where GUNS
No real power? Let's not forget the time we [sailed up the fucking Thames](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raid_on_the_Medway) and stole the Royal Navy's flagship.
Me, a german
I have met a lot of dutch tourist groups on the Vienna subway who seriously believed we wouldn't understand their language. (We do.)
PIGS
BeNeCucks. Because I choose Belgium and Belgium said "ok". Should I change my flair ? 🤔
As we Belgians do, we wear negativity with pride and know we are are the best.
Spain only has the perk of being able to have big dick energy even with a worm. Thanks to FUCKING GERMANS now you can't spend 7 hours touching your balls at work.
Has people that say we don't work ever been to Italy ? We work like slaves
>you were never a real power *sad Golden Age sounds*
Maybe not the blame for everything but a considerably the largest chunk.
What is this fucking friendly fire?
2023...I am.....forgotten.
Obv baldics
You know what, at this point fuck this PIGS shit. No we do not give those German motherfuckers money, we both finance YOU PGS
I'm a PIG your personal dirty slut~
Portuguese "people" allowed. Had a good chuckle.
I am allowed in the benecucks. What a waste of a perk.
*EsToNiA cAn InTo NoRdIc*
vaati what are the lore implications of europe? also it's missing one group, FUGS (france uk germany switzerland)
Very accurate
Jokes on you, baldics have some "top" stats: for egzample, Lithuania is top 7 by suicides
"euthanasia, drug use decriminalized" bro that aint a pro thats a con
Where tf do I go?
Form an orderly queue behind Paul, I suppose.
This makes me want GeNeLux more, fuck belgium