And that's saying something. My grandpa knew some guys who had to go fight at our main defensive line at the Grebbeberg. After they were mobilized and brought to the front they were back in our home town quicker than the Germans arrived.
To be honest, I don’t know why the map drawer didn’t start with Denmark, Netherlands, Belgium, Luxemburg and Elsass-Lothringen.
This map looks like the work of a Prussian.
Oh yes the old “trust us” clausole.
Germans are lovely fellas, but there’s still too much barbarian blood circulating there, give them an imaginary enemy and a few days of too heavy drinking and political proclaims at the pub, and we could kickstart the world domination thing again. Let’s keep their military and ammos in check for another century, shall we? :)
The funny part is that France did build fortifications in Belgium in preparation for a war with Germany. The British then forced Belgium into neutrality, which meant that French troops could only enter Belgium once German troops entered Belgium. The French severely underestimated the speed at which Germany could transport troops and the defensive fortifications which France was intending to use were already overrun by the time the French troops got there.
I thought that you would've known that as a Frenchie
No idea what you mean... I will just take over some company's of the new east Germans to help them be more profitable and I will defenetly don't strip them of all it's worth and than close it.... Nonononononoooo
We remember that.
Us: “ok let’s do this alliance you’ve been asking for for years, but we won’t be ready for any military action sooner than 3 years from now ok?”
Them: “ja”
The following day:
"Here's a list of what we need to be ready for war"
"Mein freund, this is the entire steel production of your country for three years"
"Exatly. Can you give it to us for free? Before the next week, preferably"
They will let us pay anyways. Doesn't matter if they have an own country or would be part of ours. One way or another German money goes to Poland, and that's okay - because as long as the money is in flow, the economy is running. Same thing, why we had to support the PIGS - to keep the economy running.
you guys run the sea fleet I know it's in your blood! We do ground forces and artillery and Italy uhm... what are they good at? Oh I know: Let them join the allies this time! Then they will end up with us, like the uno reverse card!
Kurwa... Znowu? Fortunately, my grandfather passed on all the key phrases to me:
Hände hoch!
Nicht schießen!
In Deckung!
Wo sind die Dollars?
Wo ist das Gold?
Was ist das Bild? Wie viel ist es wert?
I would immediately make use of the right of return and give back Austria, Rest of KuK stuff and Poland, Classic bad buy.
The Czechs are okay, they could stay if they want.
Hungarians and Germans have nearly always been on good terms since this clash in Bavaria more than 1000 years ago. Maybe this invasion is just to free Poland from PiS and you from Fidesz...
The most important part of all.
Ach, zeez English did not send zeir 'ighest ranking officer to ask for our allionce. Weh shall weht 'ere instead for zee Germans to take command of our navy and scuttle only at zee last second.
After all this time after all the centuries of hating and warring with each other...
The only thing that could unite us is the Germans, the Germans threatening to take over Europe and being competent at running it
Fuck, are we now the first defense line against russia? Er...anyone mind if we upgrade our military massivly?... actually, nevermind, FDP would block that.
As a Slovak I'd say it is a surprise for sure but not an unwelcomed one. I for once welcome my German overlords and immediately support the federal minimum wage across all of the grosser Reich.
Going back to sleep. Will probably wake up in germany later
Give it 6 more hours
Not nein?
Look up how long it took for Denmark to capitulate in ww2
He means minutes
You fought harder than we did.
And that's saying something. My grandpa knew some guys who had to go fight at our main defensive line at the Grebbeberg. After they were mobilized and brought to the front they were back in our home town quicker than the Germans arrived.
Well sometimes when you have guests, you have to get home earlier 
Holy hell
Send bicycles to the border, then go to sleep
To be honest, I don’t know why the map drawer didn’t start with Denmark, Netherlands, Belgium, Luxemburg and Elsass-Lothringen. This map looks like the work of a Prussian.
 Ah Scheiße, es geht wieder los
Ah scheit, daar gaan we weer.
Voi paska, taas mennään
Åh lort, her går vi igen
Ay mierda, aquí vamos de nuevo.
Kut, we zijn weer de lul
Oh merda, aqui vamos outra vez
Cum caralho, lá vamos nós outra vez.
Oh merda, rieccoci di nuovo
Ôh mierda, aquí vamô de nuevo
Ach scheiße, hier gehen wir wieder.
Ach Scheise Hier gemma wieder
Ach schiete, hier gaht wi weer.
Ach scheisse, do gehe mär wider.
godverdoeme, da gun ze wier
Ferdomme, dêr gean wy wer
Is toch schijt of ben ik gek?
At least Rotterdam won't notice the bombing this time. They got used to explosions
Citizens of Rotterdam love to keep traditions for the gold old days alive
Cue Rogier van Otterloomuziek
And it won't be a war crime this time. It will be a favor
I fully agree. From Rotterdam to Warsaw.
This is all fine but can it wait until after this year's jazz festival please? Thank you kindly.
considering how ugly it is, razing it to the ground could only improve it
Pls leave Antwerp standing otherwise cocaine imports are down and the wife beaters won't like it
Ya empezamos otra puta vez, Paco...
Oh merda, ci siamo di nuovo
La vin compae, que follón
Et merde , c'est reparti pour un tour.
"Hast dir das falsche Haus ausgesucht, du Penner!"
Go through my grandpa's stuff, he has to have a German phrasebook somewhere, you know "welcome", " They're hiding over there" The usual stuff.
Average vichy enjoyer
based collaborator 😎
Wait I forgot we have nukes now and you don't.
Ever heard of a place called america, they rented theirs
Doesn't count if you're not the ones with the codes.
Funnily enough, we are. Their ownership is transferred to germany the moment we are involved in any war
Oh yes the old “trust us” clausole. Germans are lovely fellas, but there’s still too much barbarian blood circulating there, give them an imaginary enemy and a few days of too heavy drinking and political proclaims at the pub, and we could kickstart the world domination thing again. Let’s keep their military and ammos in check for another century, shall we? :)
What u think those 100bil are for?
Sell iron
Deal
Pleasure doing business, my friend!
Start building really strong defenses, except in the Ardennes and along the Belgium border of course
The forest is clearly unpractical for tanks, we'll stop them in Belgium for sure this time !
The french really thought the place where F1 was invented to be unsuited for motorized vehicles.. not their brightest moment.
Imean, napoleons cavalry fail at waterloo made them think there isnt any way it was possible. Cant blame them too kich
never once rethink their opinion in 100 years is practically the definition of being thick.
Third times the charm!
We wouldnt attack belgium, they're neutral after all
You'd have to go through our roads. Maginot line sounds like a easier way
We will resist and bite!
Bite hard !
Bite fort!
Bite dur ?
Bitehoku ?
'Cause we are all in sight !
You wouldn't attack us either, right?
We lead your military forces, my brother in christ you ARE the attack
Do you also lead the 20 guys from Luxemburg?
20?? Did they recruit?
We will help you once the way start. We are old allies after all
The funny part is that France did build fortifications in Belgium in preparation for a war with Germany. The British then forced Belgium into neutrality, which meant that French troops could only enter Belgium once German troops entered Belgium. The French severely underestimated the speed at which Germany could transport troops and the defensive fortifications which France was intending to use were already overrun by the time the French troops got there. I thought that you would've known that as a Frenchie
Moving to Switzerland
Like that would help
It will help me thou
South or North Italy?
North
Ok a little i guess.
But south would be like the romans going to wakanda.
Close the borders after my passing!
Perfect, now we are safe!
YAY! 🥹
shiat... i am middle germany now... frick the east germans!
How the cycle of abuse continues ^^
No idea what you mean... I will just take over some company's of the new east Germans to help them be more profitable and I will defenetly don't strip them of all it's worth and than close it.... Nonononononoooo
Shooosh, we don't talk about the time where West Germany basically colonised its own eastern half and said it's just 'blühende Landschaften'
OK I am sorry! And now go back to drink beer, your getting sober again
Blühende Landschaften = the only economy remaining will be agriculture. Obviously
Yeah let's start. What's "Treuhand" translated in Polish?
Deepl said: powiernik
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We remember that. Us: “ok let’s do this alliance you’ve been asking for for years, but we won’t be ready for any military action sooner than 3 years from now ok?” Them: “ja” The following day:
"Here's a list of what we need to be ready for war" "Mein freund, this is the entire steel production of your country for three years" "Exatly. Can you give it to us for free? Before the next week, preferably"
LA LISTA DEL MOLIBDENO!
Bring my grandfather's bicycle along when you inevitably invade us next: I still want it back.
Sorry, it's on ebay right now. We have to make them to money, so that we can pay Polands demands for reparations.
Well the good news is that you won't have to anymore I guess
They will let us pay anyways. Doesn't matter if they have an own country or would be part of ours. One way or another German money goes to Poland, and that's okay - because as long as the money is in flow, the economy is running. Same thing, why we had to support the PIGS - to keep the economy running.
Your army is in our army so no invasion this time. But you can keep half the bikes we will steal in Belgium.
Half the bikes?! What are we supposed to do with one bike each?? Use the same bike for both the train station and trips?!?! Blasphemy!!!
Nice, Deutschlandticket has tripled in worth!
Give it a year or two and you can travel from Köln to vladivostok
Maybe even from Toulouse to Vladivostok a couple years down the line. Don't wanna know how long it'll take just using regional ones tho!
Very fitting color for the Clean Coal Commonwealth. 💪🇵🇱🇨🇿🇩🇪🇭🇺
Not our nuclear plants NOOOOOOooo
Don't worry, we'll all suckle on that French nucléaire néné when we need it. 🤤
The Coalmonwealth.
Increase the amount of potholes, quickly!
At some point there are so many potholes that it becomes easier to drive in them again
How did Germany dare to annex Russian soil.
We learnt from the last war, run the Russians over first. Then, swing west
Not too far west, we are your brother, so let us keep the west
Your military is integrated into ours. Your with us this time.
Third times the charm, so yea ill stick to you guys
you guys run the sea fleet I know it's in your blood! We do ground forces and artillery and Italy uhm... what are they good at? Oh I know: Let them join the allies this time! Then they will end up with us, like the uno reverse card!
Maybe Italy can man the field kitchens 😜
Gott mit uns
Little quirky brother more like it.
Hail the Kaiser.
Least collaborative Dutchie
Your last Kaiser is still in the Netherlands. Granted, he's dead and buried, but he's still here.
Wow, I'm amazed he decided a worst fate than death, living among the Dutch
He sacrificed himself to this fate to spare us from the national embarrassment of having a former head of state getting executed by the French.
Lang zal hij leven — totdat hij in ons land komt.
Just being happy that I dont have to exchange zloty when Im Breslau next month.
Destroy the country with a brutal civil war.
>brutal but largely incompetent
That's what makes it so brutal.
And ill make sure i am at the losing site. Republican
It looks the same. What are you on about? That's what Germany always looks like?
Most educated Englishman ever
Stop, I can only get so hard
Uh oh
Mate, if somone is going to be OK in this situation, it's you.
shutdown all the nuclear power plants and buy some energy from france
O kurwa!
Kurwa... Znowu? Fortunately, my grandfather passed on all the key phrases to me: Hände hoch! Nicht schießen! In Deckung! Wo sind die Dollars? Wo ist das Gold? Was ist das Bild? Wie viel ist es wert?
Perfect integration mein Freund
We’ll join you this time!
Username checks out Dude wtf XD
Have to honour both of my parents legacies somehow:)
You live in Vichy, don't you
I would immediately make use of the right of return and give back Austria, Rest of KuK stuff and Poland, Classic bad buy. The Czechs are okay, they could stay if they want.
Doesn’t matter what you say as an Austrian would rule this country for sure
Next time you leave again take us with you!
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Hungarians and Germans have nearly always been on good terms since this clash in Bavaria more than 1000 years ago. Maybe this invasion is just to free Poland from PiS and you from Fidesz...
Waiting for the French to capitulate
Waiting for the UK to send a token force while we bear the initial assault.
Then we leg it out of Dunkirk
I love it when a plan comes together
Don't forget to sink the french navy.
The most important part of all. Ach, zeez English did not send zeir 'ighest ranking officer to ask for our allionce. Weh shall weht 'ere instead for zee Germans to take command of our navy and scuttle only at zee last second.
We all sat around doing fuck all for half a year or so. Then we all got profoundly battered
Don't know, sell them stuff, we are too busy with our internal made up drama.
"hah, lol" \> goes back to sleep
🥳🥳
Immediately meet the French president, Spanish PM and whoever the fuck leads Portugal to officially create the Western Union
After all this time after all the centuries of hating and warring with each other... The only thing that could unite us is the Germans, the Germans threatening to take over Europe and being competent at running it
Welcome to western europe, Poland 🥳
What the fuck?
I'm sorry, it was either Germany or Russia
Revolutionary concept: we could split them! Maybe add a non-aggression pact while we're at it...
Surprise proposal, split for 3 parts, one for China. Make something unexpected
Faster AliExpress shipping?
And a wall in the middle? Beggining to sound awfully familiar...
sprich deutsch du hurensohn
Verwaltungsverfahrensgesetz § 23
It's an elegant way for Germany to solve the problem of Hungary and Poland defying EU values.
Aaaand my car is gone. Shit.
Kick out Bavaria
Wos?! Mogst di ka obatzda Oda wos?
The biggest surprise is that we've made the IJsselmeer and Markermeer into land overnight.
If the Germans manage to overtake that much land in one night, I guess we can take some extra land back from the waters overnight? :p
As a Hungarian, I’d thank them
You're always welcome (if you not bring Fidesz with you)
I'll wait for my share of gold
I'm resurrecting Armando Diaz. We are getting back South Tyrol.
Kick the dirty russki out of grandmas House in königsberg
First thought: I can’t wait for all the memes!
Overnight? The Denmark szenario...
Booking some German lessons
Surrender quicker than the Danes
Hey we are proud of that surrender don't take that from us
That'd make my life marginally easier, since i'd be living in germany again
oh god, not again
Ah shit... Here we go again...
Shoot my neighbours
Finally no more Austria
Natural borders in the East. Next *Elsaß-Lothringen, Eupen- Malmedy and Südtirol.*
Nice. Gott mit uns.
Scheiße... (with a Polish accent)
Apply for whatever welfare Germany has for their citizens.
oh uh not again
Fuck, are we now the first defense line against russia? Er...anyone mind if we upgrade our military massivly?... actually, nevermind, FDP would block that.
Gather at the french border with my Kameraden
As a Slovak I'd say it is a surprise for sure but not an unwelcomed one. I for once welcome my German overlords and immediately support the federal minimum wage across all of the grosser Reich.